Here are 13 reasons why I go to the gym every day!

What I’ve noticed is that the guys who are really good with women, the top guys, almost ALL of them regularly hit the gym. It’s just a tendency that I see a LOT. There’s a very strong correlation.

And I know that when I’m hitting the gym hard and I build momentum, that’s when I have spectacular results meeting girls. And when I stop hitting the gym, my performance with women drops off sharply.

This is how you know it’s been too long since you last hit the gym…

In fact, I don’t know how guys meet women without the gym. At this point it’s so integrated into my life and regulates my state and how I feel, amps my sex drive and my sense of entitlement that I don’t know how you guys that don’t workout hard do it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tGAHbNulZkU

Some pre-inspiration before we get to all the reasons

And if you’re not going to the gym, you need to start with no excuses. Here’s why,

Why The Gym #1. “T-Buzz” or “Sledgehammer Arms”

After about 3 weeks of really pounding it in the gym, you build this momentum, at least for me and I’ve been doing this a while now, where I get this kick-ass, awesome testosterone rush or buzz after I kill the weights. Which just keeps me feeling energetic, enthusiastic, motivated, masculine and young throughout the day. It’s the T-buzz that you can only get by tearing up your muscles like a Spartan.

You get this feeling aliveness, of glowing, youth. You feel hot blooded, happy, grounded. Testosterone does all these things for you.

Sometimes I call it having the “Sledgehammer Arms” because I start to feel like my arms are these two huge, powerful sledgehammers that could break through a concrete sidewalk if I felt like tearing the sidewalk apart. And notes that my arms are not even that big, it’s more just a feeling I get.

Why The Gym #2. For Sexual Drive

Particularly if you are over the age of 30, like I am, sexual drive starts to wane. And you’re going to feel like lazy ass and sit on your couch if you do nothing about it, because without a strong sexual drive, you won’t have motivation. You’ll start acting more like a chick.

Testosterone is critical for sexual drive, and you feed testosterone production by hitting the weights hard. Period. And when you’ve got momentum, you can feel a buzz in sexual drive, almost as if you’re a big walking penis, and if a girl got alone with you, she’d be in real danger of being fucked hard for a good hour without mercy.

Why The Gym #3. Freedom From Outcome

When you get really sexually hot, what it does is you stop rating girls with your brain which causes outcome-dependency and therefore approach anxiety, and instead you start thinking with your dick, which is all about taking action now.

In a sense, your standards of what you want to fuck, lowers, it’s a bit like having beer goggles on, but the result is actually a pure positive, because not only are you far more eager to open all types of girls to build momentum, but the really hot girls don’t stun your brain out, because you’re not thinking with your brain, you’re thinking with your dick.

Working out fuels that “I don’t give a flying fuck feeling,” that sexual fury-driven feeling. Alpha, action taking, unreactive. Risk taking, rash, reckless. That’s what you need to open women. So instead of trolling around looking for permission which girl to open, you just step up the fuck, naturally.

Why The Gym #4. Giddiness

Giddiness to go out. Giddiness to go out to the bar or club or mall and talk to people. You know how normally you feel like a lazy ass and it would just be so much easier to stay at home and play videogames.

Well, when you smash your body with the weights, and you’ve got hot blood coursing through your veins, you don’t want to sit down. You want to blow off steam by meeting people, talking loudly, being social, showing off, riding that edge of chaos, having stimulation. You don’t want to stay at home.

You’re giddy to go out. You could call it enthusiasm or energy. For me, I like to think of it as Giddy, almost like a little child itching or giddy to go to the amusement park. I’m like a little child that just wants to go to the candy store.

And when I don’t work out, I don’t have that same kind of enthusiasm, I become more of a lazy ass.

Why The Gym #5. For Champ Posture

Most guys are walking around with shit posture, stooped over. It’s that subtle difference when you pull in your stomach and lift your just like with a puppet string here, that you started walking like a King, and girls notice that you carry yourself like the King.

For me personally what separates a hot girl, from a true 10, is often just her posture. Does she carry herself like a queen, like she’s physically fit in top shape. Are her muscles strong an taut to hold her body like a statuesque goddess. Posture is everything. So you want to stand like a champ.

But the fact is, if you’re not pounding it hard at the gym, DAILY, you’re not going to have champ posture, homey. Your muscles are going to be too weak to hold yourself up properly.

What the gym does, is that I’m continually in front of the mirror. And that’s when I continually correct my posture to stand like a champ. It’s when you’ve got the mirror right there in your face, and the blood rushing through your body, that’s when you start standing tall like Superman. And walk like a King. And when I stop going to the gym, guess what? My posture goes to shit again.

Why The Gym #6. To Feel And Stay Young

Back in high-school, I was bounding with energy. I did cross-country and I would run 3 to 5 miles daily, hit the gym, and still have plenty of energy left over for my school, homework, and program my computer.

And research shows that your teenagers years are your healthiest – when you’re a teen, you’re least likely to catch a cold or get a disease.

As you get older, your testosterone levels drop off. Once you hit your 30s, you slow down. You no longer have that manly, energetic, youthful “buzz” anymore.

Hitting heavy weights is the most reliable way to hold onto that feeling of youth. By hitting weights, your body gains muscle and becomes lean like a teenager’s. You feel bounding with energy and you have more physical and sexual stamina. You get hornier.

You don’t get sick as often. You feel good. You feel young and alive.

Why The Gym #7. Entitlement

Guys freeze up around the hot girl because they don’t feel entitled to have her. He may WANT her, but that’s different than trusting yourself to be “worthy” of her.

So most guys get scared or they come up with complex lines and routines to “try to impress her”. The girl senses this supplicative behavior and loses interest.

The gym however goes a long way to giving you core confidence. When you LOOK good, when you LOOK like you can hold that hot girl on your arm, then you feel ENTITLED to have her. It doesn’t mean being a Beefcake Hunk will make that fear of approaching go away, but it DOES take much of the edge off the anxiety.

After all, when you’re leaner, bigger, and more muscular, you feel energetic. You feel alive. You may even feel like a bad boy or beast or a titan. You feel like a Rock. You feel worthy.

So you’re far more likely to approach the girl *assuming attraction* and not giving two hoots how the girl reacts. You feel worthy to say what’s on your mind or say what amuses you, rather than what you think will impress her. You feel entitled to touch her and make eye contact.

And just having your posture and body eye-fucked by random girls passing you by doesn’t hurt either. I enjoy it when I get that wide-eyed “Jesse, please splay my legs and fuck me” look. It just feeds into that narcissistic fire and sense of deservedness.

Why The Gym #8. To Cut Through All The Crap

When you’re not working out, it’s easy to start over-intellectualizing pickup. It becomes all about tactics, impressing the girl, doing your song and dance, and how to “not be rejected”.

Once you get a bit of raging testosterone, all the intellectual crap is stripped away and what’s left at the core are your caveman instincts to fuck.

You FEEL that girls want to be approached and bent over and fucked raw like the primitive primates they are.

This makes you far more action-taking.

Why The Gym #9. To Regulate Your State

The gym helps prevent you from feeling too high, and helps prevent you from feeling too low.

Think of working out as a temperature regulator, much like the panting tongue of a dog. When you’re feeling the blues, lifting weights helps pull you out of it. And when you’ve got too much energy, the gym is a way to let off steam.

Why The Gym #10. To Build Good Habits

Meeting women requires discipline and dedication. It requires going out even when you don’t always feel like it. It means pushing through bad emotions sometimes.

Going to the gym requires this same discipline and dedication. You won’t always feel motivated. You won’t always feel great. But you go anyway to do what you know is right.

It’s that long term consistency despite negative resistance that makes you go from “average” to “awesome”. And you internalize the evidence that slow, steady progress leads to true results.

And it’s exactly those habits you need to nurture and cultivate to succeed with women. And when you can go to the gym consistently, you’ll go out to meet women consistently.

Why The Gym #11. Grounding Yourself

It’s good to have a manly physical activity outside of your job and outside of girls.

That can be anything that GROUNDS you in your masculine energy of glorious manliness.

Rock climbing. Dirty biking. Swimming. Wrestling.

Or lifting weights, which you can do in any kind of weather.

You’ll have a source of pride outside of just women. A hobby. An activity. So that even when there’s no girls around, you’ve got something that gives you satisfaction just for YOU.

Why The Gym #12. Become A Better Lover

It’s one thing to whack off to net porn for 20 minutes.

It’s a completely different deal to hard drill a real girl with animalistic passion for an hour without tiring out. Or handle two girls for a threesome. It’s as physically exhausting as it is pleasurable.

To go from “good lover” to “great lover” you need stamina. You can’t get tired after the first few thrusts. And women want a man with muscle, it’s a visual turn-on. You need that testosterone to give you passion.

You get all that working out at the gym lifting heavy weights.

Why The Gym #13. Be Healthy

Working out your mind with intellectual pursuits is all fine and dandy. But your mind’s function ultimately relies on the health of your body. And if your body goes to shit, your mind goes down the drain with it.

I don’t understand how people go through life not caring how their body feels or holds itself. Just walk through your local Walmart and take a look at the sad physical state of most human beings.

Particularly as men age and they don’t work out, they start to look like total and complete SHIT. As you get older, you should grow into your GLORY. Unfortunately, most guys devolve into feeble, bent, gnarled up messes. It’s because they don’t have enough muscle mass to hold their bodies together properly.

I want to look 30 when I’m 40. I want to look 35 when I’m 50. And 40 when I turn 60. And getting younger hotties and feel like I’m 25 the whole time. Why not? All you’ve got to do is hit the gym consistently, eat right, and you extend your sexual life by 30 years.

You’ve got to be in that body 24 hours a day after all. You might as well feel good and be healthy.

So there you have it – that’s why *I* go to the gym. You may have your own reasons and motivations. But you need to find out what they are if you’re not already consistently going. And find out those reasons and motivations to go fast. Because lifting heavy weights at the gym, I’ve seen for myself and most guys, is INTEGRAL to their success with women.

And if you want a lot more girls in your life – even if you can’t hit the gym every day – check out my Nonverbal Sexual Mind Control Program.  It’s 15 hours packed full of tips and techniques for getting the ladies with just your eyes, voice, and body language.

Click HERE to download the program.

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Ask yourself this – in your quest for glory, have you priced yourself out of the monogamous relationship market?

Put simply, as you become an increasingly high-value man, you will find most women to be less and less relationship-worthy, until you become frustrated at the low quality of 99% of the women out there.

Not only won’t you find girlfriend-worthy women, but you won’t be able to stay monogamous over the longhaul.

Take my own situation:

• I earn a very nice passive income. I don’t need to report to any boss. I don’t need to go to work.
• I’ve travelled all through South America, Europe, and Japan. I can hop on a plane and visit any exotic beach or country I desire, at any time, and run my businesses from a laptop computer.
• I’m 6 feet tall, hit the gym hard, and stay in excellent physical shape. When I dress well, women turn their heads.
• I know enough attraction “tactics” and have solid inner game so that I can walk into any bar or club, approach 20 women, and usually have a new potential girlfriend by the end of the night.
• I’m not a “nice guy” pushover, but can turn on that bad boy edge that excites women. I speak loudly, with breaking rapport tonality, and I’m not afraid to talk and get physical. Meeting new women is both fun and easy.
• I’ve bedded enough women to experience all shapes, sizes, and types – Asian, blondes, brunettes, thick ones, thin ones, curvy ones, leggy ones, etc.
• I weed out bad habits. I don’t drink, smoke, take any drugs, watch much television, or lose my temper and so on.
• I’ve worked on becoming a generally fun, easy going guy to be around.

These are high-value traits that women generally look for in a man and a sexual partner.

None of it happened by itself. I’ve focused *heavily* on self-improvement.

Why?

So that one day I could meet that “awesome soul mate”, a girl that had both a knock-out body AND had her head screwed on straight.

The High-Value Man’s Dilemma And Paradox

As I achieved more and more in life, I faced an unexpected paradox and dilemma.

Through the massive drive to build-up my value as an “awesome boyfriend”, I increasingly priced myself OUT of the monogamous relationship market.

A traditional, monogamous relationship with one girl became less and LESS desirable to me.

“Pricing Yourself Out Of The Market” – The World War I Example

Take this simple analogy.

From 1914 to 1918, millions of young men join the Army to fight in the European battlefields of World War I.

These young men had visions of honor, glory, and fame. Most had never left their hometown and it was a chance to travel. It was a chance to have adventure. Maybe they could escape 10 hour work days at the local factory. Maybe they could find a wife.

The reality was, they ended up in waterlogged ditches and ate terrible food. Disease was rampant. On orders, entire lines of men ran directly into machine gun fire. Like lemmings, thousands of men charged directly into the oncoming bullets to their immediate death.

Lines of infantrymen would run into machine gun fire armed with bayonets, only to be mowed down by the hundreds.

Could that same thing happen today?

NO.

Today, most Europeans and Americans have priced themselves out of the ditch-warfare market.

With big entertainment (movies, games, TV), a myriad of cheap food options (fast food, restaurants, sweets), convenient travel, comfy office work, paid vacations, and an Internet-educated public, most young men will simply NOT sit in a damp ditch for months on end. Most young men will simply NOT volunteer their lives to run directly into machine-gun fire armed with bayonets to their deaths.

Most young men in this modern age have TOO MUCH TO LOSE.

Your average guy lives more like an emperor compared to 100 years ago

They know what war is REALLY like from movies, television, and the Internet.

They won’t throw away their lives so carelessly like that.

Nowadays, armies need to pay young men to fight, and pay them well. And even then, most young men have no intention to join up for “glory”.

They’re priced out of the market for World War I ditch warfare. (That is a GOOD thing.)

It’s the same with monogamous relationships.

As you become an increasingly successful man with more options, more knowledge, and more experiences, you have more to LOSE by attaching yourself to a woman in a monogamous relationship.

Consider this,

#1. Most Women’s Outer Beauty Is Largely An Illusion

In the hometown I grew up in, even a slightly attractive young woman drove me crazy.

But once you travel all over the world and have met hundreds of women, you get spoiled. The girls that used to turn your head back home now just look “Meh”.

And once you’ve been in a few relationships with attractive women, you come to realize that “makeup and fakeup” accounts for most of their outer beauty.

Sofia Vergara with and without her makeup

Take off her high heel shoes, and the illusion is shattered. She’s short.

Remove her makeup, and the illusion is shattered. She has blemishes.

Just check out these “Before And After” photos of Victoria’s Secret models.

Take off her sexy dress, and the illusion is shattered. She eats poorly and has no muscle tone.

And if you’re a fitness fanatic like me, you realize that most attractive women actually have poor diets, don’t exercise, and are rife with bad habits.

2. Most Women Are Financially Needy

Most women are lost and don’t know what they want to do with their lives.

When you start dating a woman, you realize that she could use financial help or she’s unhappy with her work.

Sooner or later, you’ll feel like you need to help her out or help fix her problems.

So you feel guilty letting her suffer without help, and you feel even worse when you help and start to feel trapped into supporting her (money-wise or time-wise).

In other words, for successful guys, the vast majority of women look like financial or emotional vampires. They suck value from you, without offering much in return.

3. Most Women Are An Emotional Mess

Shit storms. Dumb drama. Emotional roller coasters. Overreacting.

“People major in the minor things of life,” as Tony Robbins puts it.

As you gain emotional mastery in your life (not repressing your emotions, but rather living in and expressing the better ones), you find you have less and less tolerance for the dark side of women’s emotionality.

You feel like you’re babysitting them through their bullshit and it’s a waste of your time and energy when you could be on an exotic beach somewhere meeting hotties.

4. Most Women Are Time Vampires

Girlfriends will waste your time like no other.

Without a relationship, you can travel all over and do what you want.

Now, your girlfriend wants you to do stuff you have no interest in like going out to dinners or going shoe shopping with her at the mall. In other instances, she outright wastes or disrespects your time.

If you’ve been in a relationship you’ve experienced this plenty.

5. Women Lose Value With The Passage Of Father Time

Women LOSE social and sexual value as she gets older.

Jennifer Lien, who played Kes on Star Trek Voyager, in 1995

Once she feels she “has you”, women almost universally begin packing on the weight. She lets herself go and she eats and eats.

Jennifer Lien in 2010 (Hat tip: Karea)

That slim waistline and fine curves vanish.

With the years, fine lines, rough skin, and graying hair makes her look less desirable.

At the same time, you, as the man, GAIN value with time.

Graying hair makes you look distinguished.

Your passive income rises.

And suddenly younger girls look increasingly attractive, AND they’re increasingly attracted to you.

So with time, your sexual-market value increasingly diverges from the woman’s. Your sexual-market value rises gradually while hers declines.

And you become increasingly unhappy.

6. Women Don’t Want You To Be Your Best Self

Women will always try to put the brakes on your success.

It is NOT in the woman’s self-interest for you to achieve your “full potential”.

A woman does NOT want a guy with tons of money, who can travel anywhere, and can attract and bed girls left and right.

Yes, a woman DOES want a “successful guy”, but only so far as that his success is invested in HER and HER progeny.

A woman wants a guy to bring income, but not to the point where he earns so much that other women would become attracted.

A woman wants a man to have freedom, but NOT to the point where he can jetset to an exotic beach every weekend with bikini girls on it.

A woman wants her man to be attractive, but NOT to the point where other women are throwing themselves at his feet.

A woman wants a man to be confident, but NOT to the point he can walk up to any hot girl and begin chatting her up.

Women DO want a man that will take care of the kids. But they DON’T want the “ultimate man” who is reaching for the sky. They want a man that is “enough”. And the problem for really action and success-driven guys is that they always find the woman trying to hold them back and put the brakes on their full potential.

The Result – Monogamy Looks Increasingly Like A Bad Deal

Again, with increasing life success and life experience, you come to realize that women are great for sex and fun… but that NO woman is worthy to be a “life partner”.

Monogamy starts to look increasingly LESS attractive.

It doesn’t mean that you don’t desire meeting that “soul mate” or “special girl”. You do.

But your eyes are open. And you can’t find a girl that you’d feel comfortable or happy devoting yourself to.

After all, if you can meet new girls every week, travel anywhere in the world to exotic places, work a 20 hour workweek from a laptop… why would you want to deal with all the downsides and restrictions that comes with monogamy with ONE girl?

Brazilian girls at the beach

You feel the you’d have to give up too much.

So with success and experience, you increasingly price yourself out of the monogamous relationship market. And at some point you reach a TIPPING POINT – 99% of women are simply NOT worthy of being your exclusive girlfriend.

They simply don’t add enough value to your life to justify committing to them.

Why So Many Celebrity Couples Break Up

Just take a look at celebrity couples.

Celebrity couples are almost always BOUND TO FAIL.

Take Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore.

Ashton is recognized. Walking into a bar, he’ll instantly have the attention of the hottest girls there. He’s got money, he’s got social proof, and he’s got that pretty face. He can go to any country in the world and party with models in Brazil, Italy or Miami.

The reality is, no woman can compete on his level. 99.9% of women will HOLD HIM BACK. As girlfriends, they’ll become needy, emotional, time-sucking vampires.

Ashton’s fling #1 – Sara Leal

And as Ashton ages, he only become more sexually desirable – more successful and more distinguished.

Ashton’s fling #2 – Brittany Jones

No woman, not even Demi Moore, could really tie the guy down indefinitely. Pushing 50, Demi Moore is aging and losing her looks. Ashton is not. He’s only rising.

That’s why he’s been philandering with 20 year old hotties, and Demi and Ashton have broken up.

Celebrity couples break up. Why? The guy is simply TOO POWERFUL… he has priced himself OUT of the monogamous relationship market! And after a few years with his Hollywood actress, he doesn’t want to be held back any longer. He wants out.

SO, Who DOES Benefit From Monogamy?

For most men, being monogamous with one woman IS a very GOOD thing.

And for most men, the pool of “desirable women to marry” is huge.

Let’s take hypothetical Average Joe.

Joe is overweight. Joe is short and stubby. Joe has a lot of curly, black body hair. Joe is not exactly pretty as a picture.

Joe Rules

Joe doesn’t exercise and Joe has bad habits like drinking, losing his temper, and emotional eating.

Joe works in an unexciting, unchallenging low-end office desk job.

Joe gets tongue-tied and nervous around attractive women. He’s too nervous to approach them. More than that, Joe’s not curious about learning how to do it either.

Joe has problems following through on projects, and lacks the drive to really excel. Joe’s happy watching television and eating high-calorie foods after work.

There’s nothing terribly wrong with our Joe. He’s cool to hang out with. But on the dating market, Joe’s just… average.

And being so average, the vast majority of women would certainly be a great catch for Joe.

Even a homely-looking, emotionally unstable woman willing to take Joe as a husband would give Joe,

• Sex.
• Companionship to fill in the otherwise passive-entertainment emptiness of his free time.
• A guiding voice to steer him clear of his bad habits and be a moderating influence.
• A woman to protect and provide value for (providing value or “giving back” brings purpose happiness).

So for Joe, a man with few sexual options, any woman, even if she’s homely looking and has her own slew of problems, even if she’s a time vampire and emotionally unstable… is a very GOOD CATCH.

THAT is the kind of guy who should snag a girlfriend and stick with it.

And even if you’ve got a lot more going for you than our Joe (you make a good income, you exercise, you don’t drink like a fish, etc), the balance will probably tip toward having a girlfriend is a GOOD THING. The benefits of having a relationship will outweigh the negatives of it.

The Outlier’s Pyramid

The problem is really an outlier’s dilemma.

Outliers are those guys who have *extraordinary* options and choices on the dating market.

Take a look at the Outlier’s Pyramid below.

On the bottom rung of the pyramid are people with few to no relationship options. The very old, the mentally ill, people with extreme social phobias, hard core drug addicts, people with no sex drive, extreme eccentrics, the woman with 25 cats, and so on.

In the second rung rest the vast majority of men and women. They largely follow the cultural trance and mediocrity is the general norm. For example, a single divorced woman who is 40 years old, somewhat chubby, earns $10 an hour, and doesn’t apply herself. She has limited attractiveness, but the dating pool of equals is large.

On the third rung (about 1 in 25 to 1 in 50 women) we find the “hot girls” or the “8s, 9s and 10s”. These are the kinds of women that can put on high heels and turn heads.

Women with higher dating-market value than the general population.

All the men on the second rung desire to get with women on the third rung, but they have little chance. Instead, they usually end up marrying a homely-looking women from their own rung, the second.

On the fourth and top rung are the male outliers – men who are real go-getters, have weeded out bad habits, exercise, look good, are well traveled, bank income, and have tight game. This is the most rare group of people.

The surprise is, pretty girls far outnumber the male outliers.

The Outlier Male

For every 1 male outlier, there are 100 “hot girls” from the third rung that would like to fuck him, catch him, and keep him.

And that’s where his “quality problem” regarding monogamous relationships comes in – there are too many sweets in the candy store to tempt him away.

The Male Outlier’s Dilemma

A male outlier DOES want to meet that “one special girl”.

And yet in every budding relationship you start to feel TRAPPED.

You feel the girl is holding you BACK.

You feel the girl is more trouble than she’s worth.

You feel you’re babysitting her emotions.

You feel you’re missing out on everything else you COULD be having and experiencing.

Men who are outliers feel torn.

They have this fantasy of meeting a WORTHY girlfriend with the body and the brains that doesn’t cause the drama and bullshit or get fat down the road.

And yet they enjoy the adventure and excitement of traveling, of building a business, and of meeting eager, new women.

It’s Lonely At The Top

Here’s the thing. It’s LONELY at the top.

The more you achieve, the more you’ll pull away from the masses.

And the closer you reach the moon, the smaller and the girls look.

By expanding your life’s options to ridiculous levels, you largely price yourself OUT of the monogamous relationship market.

So… What Does It All Mean?

It means that, (if you’re ready to swallow this), you’re better off NOT committing to any one single girl.

You’re better off ditching monogamy.

It means wearing, what I call, “The Black Hat”.

Where instead of seeking to be “the provider”, you accept being the “bad boy” that girls want to hook up with and you accept the abundance of opportunities in your life for what it is.

That’s actually a hard reality for most outliers to swallow, as they weren’t born outliers.

They only grew into it with life experience and taking massive action. And as cultural conditioning teaches us that we need to find “the one” and “settle down”, it can be tough to make that transition into accepting a life of true sexual abundance.

In actuality, this website will be of help to three groups of men.

• Group #1. Guys who are at that Outlier Level and want to learn to have fun and be fulfilled without getting obsessed about “finding the ONE girl to complete me”.
• Group #2. Outlier males that DO have a girlfriend or wife and want to minimize the drama and bullshit and keep their woman sexually desirable for years to come.
• Group #3. For guys on that second rung of the pyramid who want to break out and take it to the next level.

This site is for all men who wish to reach the top, but also for men already at the top – and how to meet women and navigate relationships to work for YOU. Even if you’ve essentially priced yourself out of the monogamy market.

Jesse out

P.S. If you’ve got an opinion on this (and you almost certainly do), be sure to leave a comment below. I’d like to hear it.

Thanks !

Sexual Mind Control - How to Make Girls Wet With Your Eyes... ...By Hijacking A "Glitch" In The Female Brain. Click here

Spend enough time with a girl, and she’ll want you to be her exclusive boyfriend. And that’s when the drama starts – you want to keep her as a “friend with benefits” but she wants your soul.

Especially when you start juggling multiple girls and have Multiple Long Term Relationships, the jealousy and possessiveness can get VERY thorny very quickly.

So how do you juggle multiple girls or girlfriends without making them get jealous, catty, or go emotionally nuts “wanting something more” from you?

Senior forum member AKM has the answer I his 10 points program for managing multiple girlfriends.

~ Jesse
============================================

“Gunslinger’s guide to Emo. control”
By AKM of the VIP Lounge

If a woman feels she has “something” with you, it is only at that time that she can perceive loss.

Thus it is in a man’s best interest when running Multiple Long Term Relationships game to minimize the very thing that will serve as the catalyst for an emotional explosion.

Here are a few items I would recognize as high points. These are not deal breakers if one does not follow them, but following each of them have been shown to lead to better statistical averages regarding female emotional flare ups in Multiple Long Term Relationships scenarios.

#1. Be Honest About Your Intent

The first opportunity comes in one’s statement of intent. Women want to know one’s intentions as well. The line “I like being single” is fantastically straight forward and from my perspective sums up what one would wish to strive for when conveying his initial intentions.

If a man wished to customize his own line he would be best served to build it upon this rock solid foundation.

Once you state your intent remain congruent on it. They will try to push you off from it with questions regarding everything from loneliness to cuddling. This shit test will determine whether or not she’s willing to accept your frame. Be prepared.

NO perception of commitment = emotional control.

#2. Avoid The “Provider frame”

Simply avoid future framing boyfriend girlfriend stuff. Avoid saying shit like, “I like to hang around on weekends with a girl I love and watch movies while we scrapbook,” just to get laid. This backfires as far as emotional control.

Don’t set her expectations that ANY PART of your future relationship will be anything but an adventure into the unknown and risqué world of pushing boundaries.

NO perception of commitment = emotional control

#3. Avoid Too Much Kissing

Kissing is a great intro to getting with a girl. It escalates our bond and get’s us between the sheets. However one may choose to rule out kissing early in the relationship.

The reason is that it will silently maintain your relationship status from the moment you stop. It is not uncommon for a man to kiss a women the first night of seduction and then stop.

The lack of kissing clearly defines the parameters of the relationship being physical and being about sexual gratification.

IF an man is doing something extraordinary in the bedroom his lack of interest in making out is simply overlooked.

“I just wanna fuck….YOU…..we cant be kissing an’ huggin’ girl you got a husband who loves….YOU….you got to give him yo’ quality time” ~ some rapper. Dr. Dre?

It turns the dynamic of the relationship on it’s ear and forces the concept of sexuality. You won’t miss “the make out session” part of your interactions with women because that has now been upgraded to “The blow job” section of your relationship.

And she’s automatically less clingy. You get pulled back into the house for more sex, not “One more kiss” “Bleaah!” ~AKM

NO perception of commitment = emotional control

#4. What To Say After Immediately Sex (Post coitus)

There’s a thread of mine out there that covers this so I’m not going to re invent the wheel. Essentially it covers some of the best things to say post coitus.

Essentially, “That was FUN. MAYBE we should do it again sometime.”

Make notice of the words both fun and maybe. One is a lighthearted view of what you’ve just done to her the other implies that the possibility of the “FUN” happening again is up in the air.

NO perception of commitment =emotional control

#5. Choose Not To Cuddle

One should be aware of the power of cuddling. It imparts the sense of connectedness between the two parties especially for the woman.

Emotional control is about remaining disconnected to a large degree.

Want to avoid emotionality completely? Get up within 1 minute tops of cumming and take your ass to the shower. Hopefully you’ve performed well enough that she’s not talking or walking very well at the moment so she can’t give chase mentally or physically.

Wash your balls, and go put your cloths on if you want to get really hardcore with this.

Fantastic to be fully clothed ten minutes after sex and she’s still naked and quivering saying nonsense phrases while you stand over her bed. Then tell her that she makes no sense and that you’re going to have to leave because she’s being an idiot. HILARIOUSE!!! Don’t believe me? Try it yourself.

NO perception of commitment = emotional control

#6. Limit your availability

Let’s pretend that the woman is a burglar and is trying to steal your prized possession. In this case it’s your community.

Essentially the more time you give her inside your house the greater the statistical likelihood that she’s going to find it.

Limiting the time available to her makes it more difficult for her to get you into an inextricable position which is exactly the time she will get emotional and for lack of a more succinct word “Bitchy”.

Lesser amounts of time are better. Use the concept of false time constraint here where needed. Get in, get out.

This applies especially post coitus/sex. The longer one hangs out after the deed or allows her to hang out will only strengthen the bond she has with you.

Remember…

NO perception of commitment = emotional control

#7. Make Her Bring You Gifts

When an old mentor told me this part of the craft I was certainly hesitant but given his tenured player status (in his fifties) I tried it out.

The idea is that any woman who comes to your house should adhere to the common cultural moray of bringing the host a gift.

Large or small, they should bring SOMETHING. I didn’t think they would. MAN WAS THAT OLD MAN RIGHT!!! I became flooded with shirts, high dollar bottles of my favorite whiskey, other party favors, food, cigarettes, flasks, beadwork, clothing and so on.

THEY LOVED THE IDEA OF BRINGING ME GIFTS JUST LIKE THE OLD GRIZZ SAID!!!!

And yes, It does feel like prostitution and the women do mention it at times. And no, it never bothered me.

Would you get all emotional when you found out your favorite stripper/hooker gave a lap dance to someone else?

This tech is for long term harem/MLTR management and multiple relationship with NO LTR component as I have used it successfully both ways.

It puts you in a consistent one up while creating a hot dynamic for her as she is always struggling as the one down which causes her brain to see you as dominant thus hot.

The fact that she’s essentially buying a ticket for sex through her gift does a number on female perception which cements your status as the one up and thus controls emotionality.

NO perception of commitment = emotional control

#8. Don’t Give Her Gifts

Gifts can easily be misinterpreted by the relationship hungry female mind to mean far more than they are.

One will get himself in trouble giving them often if at all.

Especially if what he wants is an emotionally cool sexual relationship.

Gifts convey that you were thinking about them outside of a situation where they were pleasing you.

This makes a girl think there is a possibility that those thoughts could gain traction and momentum in your mind and gives HOPE to the concept that you will settle down with her.

Not only does a gift indicate the above but a gift (especially a non perishable gift) can serve as a constant reminder of the possibility of the above mentioned “HOPE”.

Do yourself a favor and don’t let her dance around her living room with the teddy bear you foolishly gave her.

EVERY second she thinks about you in a non sexual way gives neural ammunition to your enemy “commitment emotion”.

NO perception of commitment = emotional control

#9. Don’t Accept Gifts Which Manipulate Your Home Environment

As attractive as it may be don’t let her clean your house, pick up your kid, baby sit your kid, replace your curtains, dust your nick knacks or style your hair.

If it makes any significant changes to your environment and doesn’t fit into the concept of fucking…….. forget it.

Once the female mind moves a few pieces of furniture it gains confidence that it has some order of influence over YOUR environment and will then seek a board position!!!

Politely decline telling them that they are very considerate.

NO perception of commitment = emotional control

#10. Be Sexually Dominant And Make Her Orgasm

If it hurts her and she asks you to stop, then stop.

If not railroad your own sexual wishes.

Assuming that one knows how to satisfy a woman ten orgasms any way they’re had are still ten orgasms.

As long as the numbers work out in her favor fuck it. She doesn’t change the music, the position, the rhythm, NOTHING.

As long as you’re doing your job.

If you’re not get with it!!

If you can do your job then there is no reason you can’t insist on being left alone to do it your way which also happens to be the right way (said orgasms).

This dominance which Jesse has many wonderful materials to help support you will lower the probability of emotions running wild.

When a woman is that satisfied the game is yours to lose.

By maintaining sexual dominance one remains the “one up” and statistical chances of an emotional upheaval are less probable.

I think that any man interested in emotional control can get a good start with these categories. We can continue, but that’s all I have today.

My best to you,

AKM

Sexual Mind Control - How to Make Girls Wet With Your Eyes... ...By Hijacking A "Glitch" In The Female Brain. Click here

Here’s some qualifying lines I use a lot and that hot girls ALWAYS seem to fall for.

Qualifying women simply refers to the idea of throwing tests at her that she has to pass in order for her to win your approval.

She’ll be looking for your acceptance of her. The only way she can get her social value back is by winning your acceptance and winning your attention and respect.

That means if you start qualifying her and testing, she’ll be eager to pass your qualifying tests to win your acceptance.

For example, you could say to her, “You know I like you, but you’re not a stalker are you? You’re not the type who checks her messages five times a day, will call me in the middle of the night are you? Will I be safe around you?”

When qualifying a woman, you establish that YOU are the chooser and that SHE is the chaser. She must work for and win your approval and acceptance of her.

You can qualify a woman on just about anything, but what often works best is screening her based on completely trivial qualities.

For example you could say to woman,

“I can just tell you would be so much trouble for me. I can see it in those eyes. You just look like a handful. How do I know you won’t just drive me up the wall?”

Or you could say,

“You look young for me. Hmm, what else do you have going for you that would make up for that?”

The key is to sound playful and not too serious. Wear a smile on your face. If she already likes you somewhat, she’ll start trying to prove her value to you.

You can also qualify a girl for qualities that you’re seriously looking for. For example, perhaps you want a bi-sexual girl that will eventually have threesomes with you. You can tell a woman, “I only date bi-sexual women.”

Or tell her,

“I only date highly creative and intelligent women. Are you creative?”

Or say,

“Do you work out? I like to be with women who take care of themselves.”

The hotter the chick, the harder you may need to qualify her. On an extremely hot girl, don’t be afraid to pummel her with screening criteria. Qualify HARD.

As long as she feels that she had to WORK for and EARN your approval and attention, she’ll have dopamine hormones flooding her head – the hormone responsible for love, desire, and wanting to chase a reward.

How Make Her Quickly Qualify Herself To You

If you’re passed the hook point and SHE wants the conversation to continue, she’ll start giving you reasons that she’s unique – in effect, she’s trying to make you LIKE her MORE. She’s gaming YOU by qualifying herself to you.

Of course you can qualify a girl right off your opener, by going up to a girl and telling her,

“Hi there! You’re absolutely adorable. But do you have anything more going for you than your looks?”

But qualifying HARD really shines, really has its full potential AFTER the hook point and the girl is already investing in you and investing in the conversation.

And the hotter the chick, the more you’ll want to qualify her. On an extremely hot girl, don’t be afraid to pummel her with qualifying criteria. Qualify her HARD. Really make her work to game you hard. Make her work hard to win you.

And the funny thing about hot women is, that they are so used to being chased by the guy, that when she does start gaming you, by asking you questions and qualifying herself to you, she’ll fall for you even HARDER – because it’s so rare for her to do that, so rare for her to actually game the guy. That’s why in their own way, extremely beautiful women can fall HARDER for you than you’re typical woman.

Also qualify the girl based on your personal standards. Maybe you don’t like girls that smoke. Qualify her on that. Be open and authentic about it, challenge her on it, tease her about it, don’t hide it just to try to impress her. Be a challenge based on your personal standards and challenge her. Speak your mind. Have the balls to the show the girl what you like and what you dislike. And stand behind what you say.

So that’s it – qualify her, qualify her, qualify her. And sit back, and let her do her portion of the talking. Make her work for it, make her invest, make her game you. And you’ll get that second date outside the club.

After She Qualifies Herself To You, Accept Her

After qualifying, it’s critical to ACCEPT HER.

You see, at some point after fighting for your approval, the girl has to feel that she’s proven herself to you. But she’ll only feel worthy of you if you ACCEPT her for passing your tests.

So if you say, “I only date bi-sexual women,” and she starts telling you about how she’s thought about being with a girl before, that shows she wants to win your approval. That’s good behavior on her part.

Reward her for her good behavior.

You: “I only date bi-sexual women.”

Her: “Oh… you know, I’ve always wondered what it would be like to be with a girl.”

You: “Wow, so you don’t listen to all the stupid rules society places on women. See, I knew you were cool. We can hang out then.” (squeeze her hands)

RAPID ACCEPTANCE is when you reward a woman right away for her good answer. For example,

You: “What’s your favorite show on television?”

Her: “Desperate Housewives”

You: “Wow, I *love* that show. Oh my god, I can just imagine us ten years from now fat as cows on the couch watching marathon reruns of it.” (hug her)

You can also use DELAYED ACCEPTANCE.

With delayed acceptance, you drag out the qualifying process and make her really work for your approval. You leave her hanging in suspense for your acceptance.

For example, I met this cute girl at the bookstore the other day. After talking a bit I found out that she was a fundamentalist Christian. I started to GRILL her about her beliefs for 20 minutes straight, questioning everything she believed in.

Once I realized she wasn’t going to budge I said to her,

“Wow, you know what… you actually stuck up for yourself. That’s really amazing. I thought you would have folded right away. Most of the girls I meet are really flaky… but you’re not like other girls. You are SO awesome.”

Then I gave her a hug.

At that moment when I hugged her and accepted her, after the heavy qualifying, she was practically in love with me. She invited me to a party and gave me three phone numbers to reach her at.

When I met her at the party, she introduced me to about twenty of her cute friends and stuck to my side like glue. She had that starry look in her eyes whenever she looked at me.

All this from a girl whose beliefs dictated I would probably rot in hell… all because I made her work – and wait – for my delayed acceptance!

You can also delay acceptance by STACKING qualifying criteria, and giving her acceptance only at the very end.

For example, you can give her five or six qualifying tests she must pass all in rapid fire succession – that she lives too far away, that you don’t want to get involved with a girl unless she’s devoted to you, that you don’t normally date girls you meet in clubs, that she’s probably the jealous type, that she will probably stalk you, and so on.

Then, instead of giving acceptance on each individual point, reward all of her good answers with a grand, universal acceptance at the very end once she’s jumped through all of your hoops.

Tell her,

“You know, when I first met you I thought you were just like all the other girls. But you’re not like other girls. You’re x, y, and z. I’m so glad I met someone like you… I feel like there’s a special connection between us.” Then hug her or squeeze her hands. “Doesn’t that feel awesome when you meet somebody like that?”

Not too long ago I qualified my honey-hot hairdresser HARD. She worked out two hours a day and it showed – she had the tightest legs in a mini-skirt I’ve ever seen.

I kept qualifying her and she kept trying to win my acceptance but I wouldn’t let her. Whatever her answer was, I didn’t act overly impressed.

After my haircut was finished she talked with me in the sitting chairs for an extra 15 minutes trying to win me over. Finally, she told me what great massages she gives. I told her that I didn’t believe it. She offered to prove it by giving me a massage at her place in the nude.

It’s not that rapid acceptance is better than delayed acceptance of visa-versa. Both work and compliment each other. Use them in combination.

Sexual Mind Control - How to Make Girls Wet With Your Eyes... ...By Hijacking A "Glitch" In The Female Brain. Click here

I want to give you a little formula for attracting women. And it’s this.

Momentum lead to entitlement. Entitlement leads to indifference. And indifference leads to attraction with women.

So if you want to be attractive, you’ve got to attract women, you start with momentum, which builds entitlement, which leads to indifference, with is what attracts girls.

So let me explain that cascade of cause and effect.

Stage #1. Momentum

First with momentum. When you start out your night, you’re going to feel kind of cold, shaky, nervous, stale, out of your groove.

So you want to start out the night relatively easy with no pressure on yourself. Your only “mission” is to open girls and say hello, and be purely social. You’ve got nothing to prove, you have nothing you’re trying to get from the girls, you’re not trying to impress them in ANY way. It’s just, “Hi, my name is Jesse,” smile, and say whatever comes to your mind at that moment.

And getting blown out is perfectly fine, you’re just being social. No pressure and no pressure to avoid getting blown out.

What you’re doing here is building momentum.

Stage #2. Entitlement

Now after about an hour of just being social and building momentum, what’s going to happen is that you start to build a sense of entitlement.

That’s the second step in the cascade, entitlement.

Once you’ve opened like 10, 20 girls just to be social and saying hello, you start to build momentum, it’s like you get this bit of a rush, where you feel entitled to open more girls.

Like whereas before momentum was against you, it was really hard just to say hello to that first girl, now it feels like an unseen force is pushing you FORWARD to open more girls, like you get on this kick.

And you just feel this naked, raw feeling of entitlement to open girls.

When you feel entitled to the girl, you stop caring how it’s going to go, because you’ve already talked to so many girls you get a feeling of abundance. You know you could get with this girl, or if not her, the next girl, and if not her, the next girl. Because you’re seeing it with your own eyes, you’re actually doing it for real, and it’s an established fact in your brain, just as you know the sun will rise the next morning.

Stage #3. Indifference

And then following, entitlement comes indifference.

Indifference is when you see the hottest girl in the club or bar, and you go up and talk to her, just as if she was like any other girl.

You can now talk to her like it’s nothing, because you’ve already been chatting everyone else up, you’ve already talked to 10 or 20 other girls, and as a result of that you’re far more indifferent to the outcome.

Stage #4. Attraction

And the girl, will the feel attracted to the indifference. Because you’re going up to her relaxed and with momentum and entitlement behind your back, and you’re not like any other guy she’ll meet because of that raw, entitled energy you’ve got.

How To Build Momentum

Now in your first approach you ever do, you’re going to be nervous talking to the girls, no matter what. You’re going to be nervous and it’s going to feel like lightning is coursing through your veins.

And most likely you’ll eject after a minute or two, leave the set, feeling pretty awesome about yourself.

And most likely, you’ll have spent weeks and weeks walking around trying to work up the nerve to do that first approach or spent weeks and weeks in preparation thinking you need a perfect gameplan, so that you’ll never be rejected.

And you put a lot of expectations on that first approach.

But that cannot last. You eventually want to be meeting women every day. And you can’t make every approach perfect or prepare for every approach, that would be massively counterproductive, just put you inside your head, and make you go insane.

That’s why you’ve got to think in terms of the first approach as a warm-up approach that doesn’t count. You just dive in.

A warmup approach is just to get you started.

You’re not caring about the outcome.

You don’t care what she looks like, who she’s with, or what you’re going to say.

Complete flying blind.

And the only criteria for success is to do that first warmup approach.

It doesn’t matter if it goes well, or if it goes badly, you don’t care about the outcome positive or negative. Only the approach matters!

And once that first approach is out of the way, man does it make things SOOO much easier.

It gets your mouth moving. It gets your juices flowing. It gets the blood pumping. It floods your brain with serotonin and the body with testosterone. And it pulls you out of your head, you build some social momentum, and the approach anxiety melts away as you state changes from doing the approach.

It’s that warm-up that makes all the difference.

You can even start off with a dumb opener question that breaks all the rules of opening, like “Do you come here often.”

Something really lame and cheesy. Just something. Really lower your standards.

You’re just warming up, just building momentum.

Even, “Hey my name is Jesse. And you are?” Is a great opener just to get the social juices flowing.

You can use situational openers, like “Hey what’s up with the red dress. You’re the only one in here wearing the red dress. I like it. What’s your name?” And the conversation is started.

Or, “You look bored.” Or “You look lonely.” Those will work too.

And as you build up, you can start to feel the fury of your sexual intent and move onto more direct openers, like “Hey, you’re cute!”

And remember all of these work better if you’re using breaking-for-rapport tonality. Again that’s really the key to making any opener work.

Instead, “Uh, uh…. You look bored??” like you’re asking her a question and looking for her approval or her permission to talk to her…

ANY approach will come off as very alpha if you say it with break-rapport tonality. “Hey girl, you look bored!” Like that.

And as long as you use breaking for rapport tonality, pretty much any line will open the girl.

Again, on the warmup, don’t worry about breaking for rapport, it’s a warmup, technique and results don’t natter. With a little momentum, THEN you’ll find your stride and naturally fall into breaking rapport.

But on that first opener, your focus is purely freedom from outcome. You don’t care about the results, positive or negative. You don’t care about what happens. You’re not thinking, you’re not inside your head, you don’t have any methods or techniques, or tactics. Pure going on blindness.

And then, introduce breaking for rapport tonality.

And that will make your day of talking to girls much easier and simpler and get you better results.

Attraction Isn’t Hard

We don’t have, in our lives, any role models of guys who really get crap loads of hot girls. Most likely, none of your friends, or work colleagues, or anyone in your family is a real lady’s man that pulls girls home every weekend.

So the most easy conclusion we have is that attracting women has to be really hard, and complicated, and complex. Getting girls has to be this skill you have to spend years mastering all the tactics to impress the girl.

But really getting good with girls is actually far more counter-intuitive.

You’re not so much adding new skills, as you have to let go of a bunch of old programming, letting go of years of social conditioning and bad thought processes and misleading mindsets.

Like the first kinds of questions that you ask yourself are questions like,

“How can I make girls like me?”

“What is the right thing to say to them to impress them?”

“What should I wear to get approval from girls?”

“What kind of nonverbals do I use to be liked?”

“What’s the specific best action for this specific situation to get acceptance?”

“What indicators of interest am I looking for to have permission that it’s okay to talk to the girl?”

The problem is, all of these kinds of questions or mindsets, are obsessed and worried with getting acceptance, being liked, positive outcomes, getting permission – all the act OPPOSITE of indifference.

A bad boy, a cool guy cares NOTHING about any of these things. No, he’s indifferent.

And to get really hot girls, that’s the thing.

You can’t care.

You can’t give a damn about making her like you.

You can’t give a shit about having “the right things to say”.

It’s paradoxically, when you’re indifferent to being in front of beautiful woman and the actions you take on her, that you feel fully entitled to do what you want and take what you want and say what you want and touch what you want – complete, bonafide indifference – that you get the BEST results.

And momentum gets you there. Momentum by opening lots of girls, moving your way to entitlement, and stepping into indifference, which is what makes you extremely attractive.

Sexual Mind Control - How to Make Girls Wet With Your Eyes... ...By Hijacking A "Glitch" In The Female Brain. Click here

As a dating coach, I’ve noticed a lot of pretty clear-cut patterns with guys who are just coming into meeting girls and doing approaches. These are mistakes that guys who are new to the game tend to make, but mistakes that you can fix really easily in a snap and you can easily address which will immediately lead to better results.

Dating Mistake #1: Playing Chess Inside Your Head

The typical guy is playing chess inside his head. He’s lost in thought inside of his head thinking.

At a party, he’s thinking and he’s planning.

He’s thinking, what is the next thing he’s going to say, and how is he going to direct the conversation.

He’s thinking, “what’s the best way to approach this woman.”

He’s thinking, “If I approach, what is the best thing to say to this woman.”

He’s thinking, “When I approach her, how will she react?”

“If I approach her, will this woman accept me and not blow me off?”

He thinks, “And what if everyone else sees me?”

He’s also thinking about which girls to open.

“Is this girl going to accept my approaching her or will this one?”

“Does this girl already have a boyfriend, and if she does is it okay to approach?”

He’s thinking that this girl to his left is too hot for him, and therefore too difficult and will blow him out, but this other girl to his right, well, she’s a little bit ugly and not what I imagine my dream girl would be and not up to my standards.

He’s looking at this one girl and thinking to himself, “Damn she looks pretty serious… bitch shield, baby!”

And he’s looking over at this other girl who is laughing and giggling and thinking, “Man she has really high fun energy. Man, if I just go in there low energy like I am nervous, I’m for sure going to get blown out.”

The typical guy is playing a huge chess game in his head with all the imaginary moves.

And what it does is cause total, complete analysis paralysis. It would for me. And nothing happens.

Dating Mistake #2: Looking for Permission

Number two, the typical guy is always looking for permission to act as well. For example, the typical guy is always looking for Indicators of Interest – IOIs – like eye contact from a girl or a smile from a girl before he feels like he as permission to go up to her or say hello or to open.

He’s nervous about what the girl’s friends might think of him if he goes and approaches the girl. He has a permission mindset, he wants permission from the friends.

There’s a random guy already talking to the girl. He’s nervous about what the other guy might think, maybe it’s her boyfriend, or maybe this guy will get angry. He wants the other guy’s permission before he’ll go and talk to the girl.

He thinks to himself, “If I go up and talk to her, what will the other people in the room think of me?” Will they think I’m a player? What happens if I get blown out, will they see me? So he’s looking for permission from everyone else in the room in general.

And because he’s peretually seeking permission, from the girl herself, he wants IOIs, a smile, eye contact, he wants permission from her friends, what will they think? He wants permission from the other guy talking to the girl, what will he think? He wants general permission from everyone in the room, to go talk to the girl.

What happens is, he just never approaches. Or if he can barrel through all that thinking in head, all that permission seeking anxiety, if he can go up to a girl despite himself, he’s anxious, he goes up with extreme anxiety, he goes in weakly, he goes in with apologetic neediness, basically like a huge apology, “I’m sorry for talking to you. I’m sorry to your friends, I’m sorry to the guy, I’m sorry to the room. I’m sorry for thinking I had a dick.” He comes across as week.

Dating Mistake #3: Resisting the Situation

In addition, your typical guy when he goes into a club for the first time, is he’s resisting the situation, he’s resisting whatever’s right in front of him. He’s at a bar, club, party, he’s never really happy with the situation. He resists it.

He thinks, number one, “There’s just not enough girls here. Not enough girls!”

Or, “There’s too many guys here. There’ too many guys. Two guys for every girl. So, it sucks.”

Or, he’s thinking, “The music is too loud! And I don’t want to speak so loud. It’s going to fuck up my game.”

Or he gets there late in the night. The party is already going and he’s like, “Damn! The energy here is too high.”

Or conversely he gets there early in the night, things haven’t picked up yet. He’s like “Fuck, this sucks… the energy is too low!”

Or he thinks to himself, “Damn, the line is long for this place, I’m going to have to wait there for 30 minutes.”

Or he thinks, “Damn, I didn’t get a good parking space. Damn, there’s a 20 dollar cover… that cover is too much.”

Or he sees the girls around and he thinks, “You know I really like younger college girls, all the women here are in their 30s, that’s too old for me.”

Or he looks around and sees a bunch of teenie boppers and he thinks to himself, “Ugh, young girls are so flippant, they’re so spacey. They’re not mature enough. This sucks, I want older women.”

So he can always find something wrong with the situation, which is a symptom of being stuck inside his head and thinking, thinking, thinking. Analyzing. Playing chess with the big picture of things.

He’s fighting the flow of the situation, it just is what it is, you can’t change those factors, but he wants to fight them by being inside his head. He’s resisting, wishing that the situation in front of him was different in some way.

So, the typical guy is there at the party physically… but he’s not there mentally. He rejects the here and now, he’s unhappy with it. He wants to be farther up the trail on the hike, but when he gets to the next mountain peak, he’s just as unhappy because then that too will be exactly where he is, and there’s another peak in the distance to be reached.

Because of that resistance, it causes your typical guy to feel anxiety, he feels at unease, he is inside his head, it can even cause a mild feeling of depression inside him, extreme negativity.

So that’s the basis of why 99% of the guys who get into this will fail, they will quit, because they have this thinking, inside-their-head mindset, they’re seeking permission at every moment, they’re resisting the situation at every moment.

Dating Mistake #4: Scanning the room

In regards to bars and clubs, is when the guy first enters the room is he starts scanning the room with his eyes, and he gets whiplash turning his head everywhere. And he scans the whole room looking for a girl to talk to. But of course, every girl is in sets with other girls or other guys, and it’s really easy to think of a million reasons not to approach and you quickly psyche yourself out.

So instead, you just want to get to the bar or club and for the first hour, or really two hours, just relax, chill out. Get used to the environment. No pressure. And just introduce yourself to people, really no pressure on yourself, the interactions can last 2 minutes, until you can build a little social momentum.

Dating Mistake #5: Talking from a distance

The next rookie mistake is the guy who is the Distance Talker. This guy goes up to the girl but he’s like 3 feet away and he tries to talk to her. But in a club or bar, you’ve got to be right up to the girl’s head for her to listen to you. So you’ve got to get comfortable being close.

Dating Mistake #6: Staying in one spot

Next mistake is just staying in one spot the entire interaction. But the reality is, girls get more attracted to you the more you move them around. So instead of talking in one spot for an house, move her to the dance floor. Then back to the bar. Now take her outside. Now chill back at the bar. Now go get something to eat. You’re leading her, and by changing location a lot, it makes it feel like she knows you.

Dating Mistake #7: Orbiting the girl you want to talk to

This is the guy who has decided to approach the girl, but he’s not committed to the action. So instead of going straight for the girl, he sort of orbits around her in a meandering circle, half-deciding whether to go in or not. And he gradually approaches until he gets up to the girl and gives her a really timid opener. And it can freak the girl out a little because there’s a certain level of timidness and creepiness to that.

Instead, you just want to go straight up to the girl and nothing will come between you and her and she can feel that. You move with dominance and you move with purpose, and let her see that you’re the kind of guy who goes for what he wants.

Dating Mistake #8: Not physically escalating

I don’t care how much the girl likes you, and how much you like to yap off routines, but you can only have a friendly conversation for so long before it starts to get BORING. And when you don’t physically escalate with the girl, she feels that you’re too SCARED to escalate. So you talk for an hour, guy doesn’t escalate, and girl and guy go their separate ways and the girl feels that you don’t like her. Escalating physically is everything in creating hard attraction.

Dating Mistake #9: Interviewing the girl

This is where you just ask the girl a bunch of interview questions and you’re pushing her to carry the weight of the conversation right off the bat. But what’s attractive to the girl is when you go first and you let her follow your lead.

So instead of asking the girl, “Uh, what do you do?” You just lead by making statements about yourself first, like “I’m really into videogames!” And then she’ll reciprocate by telling you what she’s into. So don’t start off as a reporter, instead lead the conversation by putting yourself out there first.

Dating Mistake #10: Not communicating sexual interest to the girl

Next mistake is not communicating your interest in the girl. A girl isn’t going to be sexually hard attracted to you, or even like you until she knows that you like her on some level. So you’ve got to tell her that you like her, either verbally or physically. So it’s critical to tell all girls you like in the interaction, “I like you,” or “you’re hot”, or “you’re an angel” or whatever, so that she knows that you’re a sexual guy and you don’t get thrown into the “let’s just be friends” zone.

So go out, make the mistakes, and then when you’re back at home write a list of what you did right, and a list of what you might have missed. Because there’s no way you’re going to get everything right going in unless you’ve got a lot of nights under your belt, a lot of approaches under your belt, and you continually keep a list of what to improve.

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So you want to meet women in a foreign country, but you don’t speak the native language… how are you going to get laid if most of them don’t speak any English or very little English?

Is it possible to do day game or clubs and bars in these foreign countries, and attract women that you can’t communicate a word to?

Or if you want to learn a little bit of the local language, what’s the fastest, most efficient way to do it for the purposes of meeting women and pickup?

So those are some of the questions I’m going to answer in this lesson, and having travelled a good deal myself, I think I have some good tips in this area.

Be The Bad Boy

So let’s say that you land in a foreign country and you don’t speak one single word of the language.

The first instinct is not to approach any of the women or talk to any of the women, because you don’t speak the language right? You can’t communicate them? And if you talk, you can’t attract?

But actually you can generate a lot of attraction even without being able to speak any of the words, and probably more than you would back home with English speakers.

And the attitude you should have is, “I’m not going to try to speak their language. But THEY can try to speak to ME if they want!”

And then you just go up to a girl and talk to her in English, and you don’t even try to communicate with the girls in a way that they can understand.

So you don’t speak slowly, you don’t slow down, you’re not speaking in a way that they can understand you, you just speak normally with smiling, eye contact, and breaking and neutral rapport tonality, and you just go on and do a lot of the talking in English.

And you use pushing and pulling, and get physical with them. Spin them around, grab their hands, hug them, and pull them into you. Dominate them. Just like you should run game normally.

Because in English, you have so much control of the language that you will sound competent and alpha which is attractive to the girls. And you just need to SOUND confident and SOUND comfortable.

And you try to get the GIRL reacting to YOU an trying to understand YOU and keeping up with YOU. So even though she can’t understand you, SHE’S the one reacting and YOU are the one leading. And pretty soon the girl is the one chasing you for an outcome.

And some girls will not go for it, but a lot of girls, particularly is they can speak a FEW words of English will really go for it. So you’re going to get zero or one responses, but when you get those positive responses, the girls will really like it and start chasing you down and be really into you.

So the answer is, that if you don’t speak the language, do what you normally would do. Dominate them. Speak with break rapport. Get physical. Make them try to keep up with you.

Why Language Is Important

But still, there are some good reasons to learn the language anyway.

Like, let’s say you meet a girl like this, it’s still better to pull her aside one-on-one, and vibe with her in some word exchange, even if it’s just sharing different words and exploring the language together.

That is bonding and connecting with the woman, and it will make you feel like a real person to her. And for that, it’s very useful to know like a 100 commonly used words in the language. And it will allow you to feel more connected to the girl.

Also, I know that MOST guys are purely low-key and conversational when they meet women. They don’t come in particularly strong, and they’re too afraid to get physical.

And with that style, if you don’t speak the language at all, you’re going to feel really intimidated and probably not approach any women.

So, if you are gaming purely conversational, then knowing some of the local language is going to be essential.

Learning The Native Language

Okay, so in either case, you DO want to learn some of the local language before you go.

So here’s how to learn enough to get by and woo the women in the most effective and efficient manner.

Now, I hate learning languages. In high school, I think it was my least favorite subject and I pretty much blew it off. I ended up taking Latin instead of Spanish or French because we could do a lot of goofing off in Latin class.

BUT classroom learning is, in my opinion, the very old-school way to learn a language at the beginner level.

The Pimsleur Method

The way to go now, is to use the Pimsleur courses.

So pimsleur is basically a set of audios that you listen to, there are 90 lesson in Spanish, 90 lessons in Portuguese, 90 lessons in Russian. And each lesson is about 30 to 45 minutes long.

And you just listen to these lessons, and you repeat back what they tell you to say, and by the end you’ll have a pretty good working use of the language. It’s very painless, a very organic way of learning in the same way that young children organically learn a language, and there’s no studying, no homework, and no real tough brainwork.

And Pimsleur teaches you just to SPEAK and UNDERSTAND, NOT to read and write. Which is perfect, because this is just for speaking and understanding girls in conversation. You don’t need the language to write essays or book reports or something.

So by focusing ONLY on speaking and understanding, Pimsleur focuses only on the part of language you need to meet girls.

And what you’re going to learn is every-day language to meet people, to greet people, to order food, to ask for directions, to travel around comfortable in a foreign country, and to communicate in everyday situations.

You will not be able to read or write, but again that’s not what you need. You just need some conversational fluency.

And with pimsleur, you’ll learn about 300 to 400 words and be able to use those words, really, really well and quite surprisingly fluently.

And really, you don’t need that many words. In the English language, if you know 1,000 words you can read a newspaper, and if you know 2,000 words, that’s up to 80% of the words used common use.

So with Pimsleur, with 300 to 400 fluently under your belt, it’s a pretty damn good start. And you just do 1 45 minute lesson a day for 90 days, and you are there. Enough to easily hold very decent conversations with women.

And the best thing I like about the Pimsleur programs is that they’re really, really convenient. You are listening to an audio, and just repeating back.

So I do it while I’m outdoors taking walks, when I’m driving, when I’m at the beach with my MP3 player. So I can fit in learning new languages without having to schedule any new time for it. I just fit into things I’m already doing, and it’s like I can kill two birds with one stone. Get some outdoor exercise, AND learn Spanish or Russian. Easy. Simple.

And then it’s great, because you have enough language to open a girl and have her easily understand you, and then you can vibe with her, and you’ll know enough to talk, but still stumble around a little, and it’s really CUTE to the girl that you’re speaking her language with your sexy foreign American or British or Australian accent, and foreign girls really fall HARD for that.

The Rosetta Stone Method

Okay, now Rosetta Stone. It’s a popular teaching program. Basically you sit in front of the computer as Rosetta Stone is a computer program, and you do little games that match pictures with words.

Now I personally don’t like Rosetta Stone because it forces to sit in front of my computer, and needing to do a lot of writing already, I don’t want to be in front of my computer extra hours.

The other thing is that you learn a bunch of vocabulary words with Rosetta Stone, but you don’t really learn how or practice using the words in sentences, and how to speak conversationally with them. So it’s like you just learn a bunch of random words, and a lot of the words you use aren’t really useful for meeting women. Like learning the word “garden plant” and “fire truck”, you know you can of waste a lot of time memorizing words that aren’t particularly relevant to your goals.

So my recommendation is to do the 90 lessons of Pimsleur first, so that you can speak the language conversationally. And it’s the easiest and most fun, and really all you need for the purposes of meeting women in foreign country.

And then, once you’ve exhausted your Pimsleur lessons, if you still want to learn MORE of the language, like you have friends now or a girlfriend that speaks a different language, THEN you turn to Rosetta Stone to expand on your vocabularly so that you can get from the 300 to 400 words mark up to the 800 to 1,000 words mark. Rosetta Stone is a great vocabularly builder in other words to build on your Pimsleur foundation.

So there, that should equip you to speak to girls in foreign countries, girls that don’t speak any English. And you’re all set.

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A lot of guys have this habit that when they become uncomfortable, they feel that’s justification enough to just stop whatever they’re doing.

For instance, they go to a bar or club for the first time in years, and they’re very uncomfortable and feel out of place – and they decide that, “bars and goes just aren’t for me right now in my life”, and they stop going all together.

Or they decide to start a business, and the first moment they get bored or it feels hard, they just let the ball drop.

Or they want to write their own book, and they meet some resistance from writer’s block, it feels uncomfortable, and they just don’t get back to it.

Having some passing negative feelings is NOT a good reason to give up on something.

Do you think that’s an attractive trait to women?

Imagine it were caveman days 10,000 years ago, and you’re a young guy trying to prove yourself to be sex-worthy to the other women in the tribe.

It’s cold in Ice Age Europe, and you’ve got to go out and HUNT some wild game.

You step outside and it’s fucking COLD.

It’s fucking UNCOMFORTABLE.

This is going to be a fucking CHALLENGE.

So you turn tail. You go back into your cave at the first hint of discomfort.

You are quick to give up to protect your “feelings” of comfort.

Instead, the rest of the guys go out and brave the elements to bring back food to the women.

You might be comfortable this way, but you’re not going to get LAID this way.

What makes a MAN is that he PERSISTS in the face of physical and emotional discomfort.

He’s on a MISSION and NOTHING will stop him, not even his own fears and foibles.

He might not succeed, but he never fucking stops and nothing holds him back.

Bars and clubs feel uncomfortable??? If that’s your excuse for not following through on your life, you’ll never accomplish anything of worth. Because everything of worth will feel uncomfortable at times accomplishing it – boring, uncomfortable, fear, uncertainty, and the rest.

But following through in the face of a hurricane of SHIT is called being a MAN.

Because women want a guy who will stop at NOTHING to get what he wants. Woman want a man who doesn’t give up. That’s the kind of man that can provide for her children and spread her genes, even when the going gets tough.

Part of the problem is that men are conditioned today by modern conveniences for easy pleasures.

I used to program video games back in the day, so I know the deal.

Easy payoff with zero risk – turn on Call of Duty and you get the thrill of warfare victory and sense of accomplishment with ZERO of the risk and ZERO of the discomfort -except maybe a sleep leg.

You can press a button on the remote and instantly get good feelings and laughs watching Comedy Central or be entertained by television dramas. Or fuzz out watching silly videos on the Internet. Again, zero effort.

We’re coddled by modern technology to have easy payoffs and easy feelings.

So when we meet anything that’s a real, fucking, hard-ass CHALLENGE – like starting our own business, writing our dream novel, or blowing up bars and clubs or approaching women – we GIVE UP at the slightest discomfort or resistance.

That’s why 90% of the Maxim Readers out there are just looking for a “magic bullet” pickup line.

They want an easy “trick” that they can learn in 5 minutes that will magically make a woman spread her legs.

It’s the same reason so many people buy abdominal blasters and diet detox shakes instead of just eating a sensible diet rich in vegetables and hitting up the gym three times a week. They’re conditioned to seek easy feel-good feelings and magic bullets.

But to grow into a MAN, you have to let go of this idea that a feeling of discomfort is enough reason to stop something big and worthwhile.

Because it’s not. Anything worth fighting for WILL make you feel a massive level of discomfort at first.

But you’ve got to blast through that wall, dedicate yourself to the long-haul, have dogged persistence, be consistent, and never give up – particularly never give up over “your feelings”.

Bad feelings will come and go. You’ll have highs, and you’ll have lows. But your mantra is consistency, persistence, and dedication in the face of all adversity and resistance.

And by following the Reckless exercises and lessons, you’ll emerge on the better side of the game – relaxed ease, fun, and sex with cute girls – more quickly than you might expect.

Are you going out and meeting women despite internal resistance that you might feel?

Are you exercising and hitting the gym to stay fit healthy?

Yes, it’s fucking tough. Yes, it’s a bitch. Yes, it feels uncomfortable at first.

But that’s life man. And that’s what brings success and reaps the REAL rewards in life – persistence in the face of those feelings and adversity.

So step up, follow through, be persistent, and NEVER fucking give up.

Why Discomfort Is GOOD For You

Listen, it’s a process.

Most guys have a fit of inspiration at first, then they realize how long this is going to take and it’s more difficult than they first thought, they realize there’s more discomfort involved and real change involved, and because it’s not a magic pill solution or process than can be solved in a week, and that they’ve got a lot of habits and mindsets that need to be given up, they say fuck it and they give up on the journey.

That’s the thing about this process though, that you’ve got to change your discipline, you have to change your focus, you have to change your habits, you have to change your schedule, you have to go through a level of pain and discomfort, you have to learn how to change. And once you change, you’ve got change again. And once you change again, you’ve got to change again.

Meaning, there’s very little comfort in becoming a cool guy.

Because the process of meeting women is going to expose ALL of your weaknesses, it will expose all the flaws in your character. It will expose that you’re being a weak pussy, it will expose what’s fucking lame about you. Meeting girls is like being exposed out there naked for the world to see all of your foibles.

And that transformation to becoming a rock solid cool guy isn’t easy, it isn’t pleasant all the time, it’s not about being liked by everyone. There’s a certain degree of awkwardness and discomfort involved and a degree of pain.

That’s not a bad thing.

You learn best through discomfort and pain.

Like on the first day of the job, if you show up 30 minutes late, and your brand new boss chews you out and fires you on the spot, you’re never going to be late again. Because the pain of going through that will stay in your head forever and it makes you grow up. Lesson learned.

Or if a girls blow you out consistently, it’s a fucking tough experience, BUT that pain forces you to look in the mirror really hard and search for what you’re doing wrong or what in your behavior is simply unattractive.

Meaning, you can’t change or transform or improve, if everyone if just nice to you all the time. You change when you have fucking negative experiences that kick you in the ass.

Like touching a hot stove as a child, and burning you finger and screaming in pain, as a positive side effect. You don’t touch hot stoves again.

Or weakly going up to a girl with shitty tonality, neediness, and no eye contact and getting harshly blown out, that’s when you go home and look in the mirror and decide that you’ve got to fucking man-up.

Every shitty experience is when you learn. And the guys who are best with girls have the most shitty experiences under their belt and they welcome new shit to hit the fan. They embrace it.

And if you stop, out of a desire for comfort, being comfortable in front of the television, or Internet, or just doing some other hobby… which let’s face it, is probably for more comfortable feeling than socializing with girls… you can coast along for years doing that.

But eventually choosing comfort over the challenge will come to bite you in the ass, and it will bite you back hard.

Eventually, you’ll find yourself old, out-of-shape, alone, with no good habits or skills built up for meeting girls. And you’ll find yourself facing the same discomforts and challenges you need to meet girls, except now you’re just more disadvantaged and it looks like an even bigger hill to climb. And you’re going to feel fucking pain that’s even more severe than the pain you originally tried to avoid.

So falling off the wagon is not a path I recommend for your own sake.

And really, there’s no reason to be jealous of other guys that were born with good looks, or were born into a wealthy family and had all their money handed to them, or even guys that just seem to get “meeting girls” more quickly make fast advances.

Because these guys that don’t experience the pain and discomfort of that journey of coming into manhood and becoming a real fucking man through experience and sweat and pain, what happens is that they’re almost always soft, lazy guys.

If you have looks and money handed to you from day one, you’re just coasting. You’ve got some access to women or hookers through money, say like Tiger Woods style, and you have to concept of what discomfort or challenge is because you’ve never had to strive or push for what you want.

So you don’t appreciate the money, you don’t appreciate the sex with the hot girl, you feel hollow inside, you feel purposeless, you get easily frustrated when you don’t get what you want, you’re easily thrown off your game if you get instant attention. You’re like a little nervous boy inside who never had to grow up and you can’t really handle what the real world throws at you.

So when you’re not born with looks or money or whatever, and you’ve got to deal with all the shit of growing up yourself and manning up yourself, and learning to grow that cool confidence and sexy attractive habits all by yourself, you actually become a really cool dude that can handle anything thrown at him, UNLIKE these soft-bellied softies that have everything handed to them and they don’t grow up.

Kind of like the stereotypical blonde California girl born with good looks and a rich Dad, and she grows up to be a dumb airhead blonde with a bland personality that guys only want for fast sex and nothing else because she’s been spoiled and hasn’t had to work for anything. And she ends up far less of a actualized, cool human being because she never had to face pain or discomfort and she coasted along on the easy path.

So don’t choose the easy path, go on your own journey full of pain and discomfort.

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Nervous around hot women?

That didn’t happen just by accident.

Big businesses depends on you being fearful and insecure to keep buying material status symbols stuff to fix yourself, to make yourself worthy of women and society.

They want you to always be afraid, trembling inside.

They want you to have low self-esteem.

They want you to believe that you’re incomplete.

They want you to feel in your gut that you’re not good enough.

This first commercial shows a girl in the grocery who store starts dancing for the guy, just because he’s wearing Axe body spray.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fT6IWAIf580

Now, the commercial IS funny.

But that’s partly why it’s so EVIL. Really evil.

This is the kind of commercial messaging that will fuck with your head big time and give you a mentality of approach anxiety and wussiness.

Now I know it’s easy to brush off as stupid that a girl will just jump all up on your dick simply because you put on a particular body spray.

BUT…

The commercial promotes a “magic pill” kind of thinking which is prevalent in advertising in general. That you can just sit back and with the right physical product like a car or a gift or a suit which money will buy you, girls will just crawl all up on your dick.

In other words, buy this magic pill solution, and with no effort whatsoever, you’ll have chicks go crazy for you, you won’t be nervous around women anymore, and you’ll get laid.

Now obviously, we all know that wearing a different brand of body spray will NOT even get you eye contact, let alone get you laid or have girls dance for you. It’s a laughable idea, and we laugh at the commercial.

And YET…

Men shell out thousands upon thousands of dollars on luxury cars, on big houses, on expensive dinners, on nice furniture, and whatever else their money will buy them so that they’ll be less nervous to try to get laid.

Men all over the world are shelling out thousands and thousands for that “magic pill” item at the store that will get them in a girl’s pants.

I mean real transformation is an infinitesimally SMALL industry in comparison to what’s spent by guys on Maxim magazine, on fancy cars, and on big homes and status symbols. It’s nothing.

So while we may laugh at THIS body spray commercial of the dancing girl, the commercial reinforces a LARGER IDEA in our capitalist economic culture – that the act of BUYING something to “improve yourself” as a “magic pill solution” will get you LAID.

So maybe you’re not running out to buy new body spray. Maybe you don’t even care about driving a fancy car.

But when you see that hottie, something DOES hold you back. That little voice inside your head maybe tells you that somehow you’re not good enough and you get nervous.

That somehow you’re still missing something.

A little voice inside your head tells you, you’re not rich enough.

You’re not impressive enough.

You don’t smell like a rose.

After watching thousands upon thousands of commercials, it just slowly seeps in, deep, deep, deep into your subconscious beliefs that you’re not enough.

And that holds you back from meeting women. You get this approach anxiety. You don’t believe in yourself. You don’t believe that you’re worthy, you don’t believe that you’re entitled.

And you’re listening to this little voice shaped by all the materialism and commercialism and advertising, instead of listening to your real, caveman gut that tells you to go get that girl. You’re not being congruent with who you really are and what you really want. You’re listening to a voice shaped by all those advertisements.

And the advertisers know that. That’s how capitalism works. Businesses need you, require you, to feel lame, require you to feel inadequate and nervous around girls, so that they can keep selling you shit to “fix” yourself to one day be worthy.

Okay, now take a look at the second video, the second commercial, this one for Audio cars.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XfTyVL9TQmA

They come outright and say it the purpose of the ads. To give you some quality, to make you sexy, to make you important, to make you feel worthy.

And it’s even worse that the commercials are Funny. When you laugh, when you find something funny, it has more influence on you. When you’re laughing, your critical mind and your critical judgment falls to the wayside. New beliefs can just sneak in and start affecting your beliefs and identity. It’s when you’re laughing that you’re must likely to change your beliefs.

Learning Game Doesn’t Make Profits For Big Corporations

Because having the ability to go up to any girl and just getting her doesn’t sell products. Being able to have women in your life doesn’t sell deodorant, it doesn’t sell new cars, it doesn’t sell jewelry, it doesn’t sell swimming pools.

Because the guys who are most successful with women are pretty frugal. They’re time is spent meeting new women OR going on dates OR they spend their time on things that they like to do, like going to the beach or going mountain climbing or whatever it is.

And they don’t spend money on status symbols. Because when you actually get good with girls, all that material stuff becomes extraneous, it becomes a burden on actually having a cool lifestyle.

And no company or advertisement is going to tell you, “Listen bro, you’re *already* good enough to get the chicks, you just need to freshen up on some drills for having command and conquer voice tonality and work on that smile, and trusting in your actions.” There’s no money in that. There’s no real business in that.

No, a business thrives on men’s insecurity and inadequacy to sell a $30,000 luxury car, so that he’ll feel worthy to have a girl and not be nervous. But if you’re already good with girls without a $30,000 car, it just looks laughable.

But after watching thousands and thousands of advertisements through the years, it just slowly cultivates this sense that you’re not enough. That you’re missing something. And consequently, you see a cute girl and that little voice inside your head starts talking DOWN to you and you don’t take action.

And by age 40 or 50, most guys end up being lame shitheads, leading lame lives and they act lame. They’re not happy, they’re just content to wallow in a corporate consumer culture and they putter around living sedentary lives. That’s the perfect consumer really.

School And The Measuring System

And it doesn’t just come from advertising.

The second big culprit of social conditioning, approach anxiety, nervousness, and incongruence in our lives is the MEASURING SYSTEM.

The measuring system – school basically.

Teachers were constantly measuring you, judging you, placing you, and rewarding you for reacting.

And what happens is, us nerds… us good students… we’ve learned to become terrified to make mistakes. We’ve learned to become obsessed with being liked.

…From all that training to please the teacher, to get the A grade, to please our parents, to meet other’s expectations.

And that measuring system from school, haunts us in the back of our heads. It makes us feel constantly short of perfection, it makes us feel the need to improve constantly and to live up to something out there outside ourselves. And it creates a need for constant feedback that we’re doing well and that we’re okay.

We constantly feel we need feedback that we’re good guys, that we’re worthy, that we’re doing well in our work. We constantly feel we need to be reassured by others that we’re doing right, even when we are already doing everything right.

And our self-confidence ends of coming from others, from teachers, from bosses, from friends and family and from the people we’re seeking approval from, instead of having self-confidence and self-trust in ourselves from within.

The Workplace

And that continues on into the workplace, the constant seeking of approval from superiors and the constant judging from superiors.

We get into this mindset and belief system where we become constantly approval seeking to be liked by people at work, and needing constant feedback that we’re worthy and doing well. And out self-esteem is constantly crying out for approval by other people.

All from the measuring system of capitalism.

But when it comes to getting girls and meeting women, being approval seeking, wanting to be liked, being terrified of making mistakes, striving for our best and striving for perfection – that’s what makes you the “nice guy” who can’t get the girl. That’s what makes your game conservative and timid and WEAK and you don’t take any risks.

That’s what makes you incongruent, where your heart and your gut is telling you to go up to the girl, but that little voice of social conditioning in your head holds you back.

It’s completely different rules for meeting girls and getting hard attraction. The measuring system, which got you rewarded with cookies, good grades, pats on the back at school and at work – will now make you a weak noodle of a nice guy with girls.

Because essentially what is school and what is work and the measuring system and being liked and getting ahead… it’s kissing ass. It’s supplicating. It’s not doing what you want to do, but reacting to everyone else to please them. That’s what you learn to be successful. And it’s beaten into you year after year, day after day, week after week.

But that’s a bad identity when it comes to getting girls. It makes you just another “nice guy” with weak-ass, supplicating, kiss-ass, timid, conservative, “please like me” game.

The Rules Are Different With Women

But if you want hard attraction with girls, the rules are different.

To be attractive to girls, you’ve got to speak up and be LOUDER than everyone else.

You’ve got to start breaking social norms and busting into sets and interrupting existing conversations and taking them over.

You’ve got to start grabbing girls by the hand and risk that she might have a boyfriend.

And that means not being liked be everyone. Maybe that means not being like by every girl you approach. It means being the black sheep, the bad boy, the guy who goes for what he wants without apology. It means acting from a place of congruence.

On the other hand, that old measuring system of school and work, that old measuring system of the “nice guy” pleasing teachers and bosses and kissing ass cannot be your identity of who you are. It doesn’t serve you with girls.

Drop The Socially Conditioned Identity

You’ve got to drop that identity.

Of course, intellectually, we think to ourselves, “Oh yeah, don’t be the nice guy. Be the bad boy. Don’t be supplicating. Don’t be a kiss ass.” But at school and work, that’s all we do, that’s all we practice is being the nice guy. That’s all we’ve become. That lovable, uncontroversial, everyone likes-me, I want to please everybody and make everybody happy, nice guy.

It’s like woven into our identities.

You’ve got this identity now of being a “nice guy” beaten deep in your core. And when you go out to meet girls, you’re still this super “nice guy” under the measuring system who’s afraid of not being perfect, who’s afraid of not pleasing, and who’s afraid of not getting the girl’s approval.

And coupled with advertising you fear you’re not enough, or you’re not worthy, or you need to be fixed first, or you don’t trust in your own actions.

You’ve got to drop that wussy nervous identity and adopt a little more self-trust and bad boy FURY.

Bad Boy Fury

That you’re going to start talking to everyone in command and conquer voice tonality – loudly and breaking rapport.

That you’re going to start making solid, full frontal eye contact.

That you’re going to start going right up to girls and telling them straight up that you think they’re hot as hell to their faces, without apology – being congruent with your desires.

That you’re going to fully accept yourself as enough and not try add anything else, that you can start going up to girls now, exactly as you are.

Bad boys don’t care that they’re not perfect or even suck at game. What makes a bad boy a bad boy and not a nice guy is that he is congruent. He just goes up to the girl and grabs her and compliments her, fuck everyone else, fuck his flaws, fuck that his game is lame, fuck what anyone else thinks, and especially fuck the girl thinks. That’s the bad boy.

So it’s not enough to just say, “Okay, no more Mr. Nice Guy,” you’ve got to really change how you identify yourself with society, and realize that Mr. Nice Guy has really been beaten into you over the years by the measuring system in school and in work, and it’s going to take some more radical actions on your part to break out of that mentality.

So that concludes today’s lesson until next time in a few days. My name is Jesse Charger, signing out.

What To Do – Right Now

What you need to do, is stop watching television ads. It’s as simple as that. Stop getting your beliefs and expectations fed to you and formed for you by commercial advertisers whose life blood it is to make you feel lame and inadequate. They feed their families by making you feel lame deep down and like you’re not enough and that you need their magic pill solution.

So stop watching television, and get out of the house. Start the process of meeting women and building a new set of beliefs and expectations based on the experience of being with real women and in being in real social interactions.

Because you’re going to find that just coming from a place of Congruency… acting on your gut and heart and following your true core desires… is enough right there in and of itself to attract women.

You don’t need to smell wonderful, you don’t need an expensive car, and you don’t need to be a great conversationalist… in fact, you can be completely broke, with your hair disheveled, and not be that interesting, and you can still go up to a woman and powerfully tell her that you find her attractive with command and conquer voice tonality and full frontal eye contact, you’re going to knock her socks off and make a powerful impression on her.

You are enough to do it. And coming to a place of Congruency, where you listen to you gut and not that socially conditioned voice shaped by TV advertising, means dropping and shedding the television and advertising and saying no to the commercial industry.

That simple.

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Most guys who get into meeting women drop out of it pretty quickly – usually within a month or two.

In fact, about 90% of guys don’t stick with it.

Why? Because they go about it all wrong and they get poor responses from women.

So I want to detail now the four stages of failure. Why guys fail and why they quit.

Stage 1: Drowning in Thinking

In stage 1, and this will deter half the guys within the first few days, is that they drown in thinking, thinking, thinking.

The typical guy is completely inside his head, he’s analyzing all the possibilities, it’s just a giant chess game, he’s looking for permission from everyone else to act, and he’s resisting the situation in front of him and, as a result, the first time he goes into a bar or club, he’s paralyzed completely into complete inaction.

Approach anxiety takes hold, because he’s thinking so much, about all the possibilities of failure, which just results in him constantly second guessing himself, stalling, delaying, after 5 or 10 minutes of being inside his head he becomes anxious or uncomfortable. He’s not coming from a place of fun, he’s not coming from a place of enjoyment, he’s not coming from a place of enthusiasm.

Instead, the whole thing feels like a gigantic, painful task just to say hello to anybody.

You go out enough nights like that, inside your head, stalling, can’t approach at all, and you begin to associate social situations with pressure, with anxiety, with resistance, with negative feelings and with pain.

And after a few weeks of that, the guy just quits. That’s where it ends for most guys. It’s just too painful.

Half the guys will just quit before they make a single approach. And all the other guys you never hear about, they just read some posts online and subconsciously they know that’s what’s going to happen to them too, they never even go out in the first place. They’re too scared of it, because they know they’re just going to experience pain, and its going to crush their egos that they’re not going to get anywhere.

Stage 2: Trying to Ride on the Good States of Others

This is stage 2 of failure. Now some guys will barrel through that thinking, that anxiety, the seeking for permission, the resistance – despite all of that, they will still approach a woman. They will act in spite of their anxiety. Despite themselves they will approach.

The problem is, that if you’re coming from that place and you approach a woman, your internal state, out of the 1 to 10 scale, 1 you’re completely depressed and anxious and 10 you’re in a fantastic state, you’re with the flow, no anxiety, the guy is probably like a 3 or a 4 or a 5.

He’s feeling anything from extreme anxiety to, at best feeling neutral about the approach, but most likely anxiety. He’s feeling hyper and excited.

So his internal state isn’t great. And because his internal state kind of sucks, he’s approaching a girl, not to get laid really, but to feel better about himself, to pull himself out of that crappy, anxious state.

He’s thinking to himself, “If I can get in with a group of girls, if I can get acceptance from a group of girls, I’m going to go from being anxious, to feeling whoa, yes, I got some girls to like me! I’m the man!” He’s not going to be consciously thinking that, but that’s what he’s looking for.

So he’s walking through the club, he’s looking to his left, he’s looking to his right, he’s looking for what girl or group of girls, what’s his best chance, the best target from the room that he can get acceptance from the girl, feed off of the girls’ smile and good vibes, pull himself out of that crappy state, because that’s what’s going to shoot him through the roof, make him feel good.

“If I can get a girl to say hello to me, damn I’ll feel awesome. I’ll feel so happy.” He’s scanning the room for a girl he can pull some value from, so he can pump his own state.

He’s basically like a vampire. He’s walking through the club like Dracula, he wants to put the fangs on some chick’s neck, draw that blood, that good vibe, that smile of a girl, so that he’s not feeling like a 3 or 4 or 5, but like a 10. So he can feel like, “This is awesome! I’m the man! A girl responded well to me.” He’s relying on a girl to pull his state out of anxiety and crappiness, relying on girl feedback from a girl, acceptance from a girl to massage his ego. Lift this weight of all the thinking off his shoulders. Basically trying to leech all the fun and good feelings and vibe from a girl.

He sees other people out there – the other people in the room, they are the source of good emotions. I’m a source of crap emotions, anxiety, nervous – I need to get someone else’s good emotions, I need them to make me feel good.

And because of that, that frame that he’s coming from, approach anxiety comes because he desperately needs acceptance to feel good about himself, and if he doesn’t get that acceptance he’s going to feel even shittier.

So he’ll break through all the thinking, and approach, and he will approach the girl but he’s desperate for acceptance and validation. This causes the guy to be very careful in how he approaches, causes him to speak with a very quiet, apologizing voice, causes him to be very conservative in what he’ll say or do because he’s so desperate for the girl’s approval.

He doesn’t come across as having a cool or relaxed vibe because he’s anxious and hyper and uppity from the anxiety. And he comes across as needy. And the girl can feel that neediness. So what happens to guys typically after their first approaches, is that they actually get blown out. The girls are polite maybe but they get blown out after 30 seconds, they don’t have anything to say, they get blown out because they’re being so conservative, they don’t want to mess anything up.

And he’ll get blown out 4 or 5 times in a row, confirming to himself that he’s unattractive or he’s just not good at this, or this is just too much pain to deal with.

So whereas 50% of all guys drop out before they even approach because of all the pain, now you’ve got this next group of guys who barrel through the anxiety, get a bunch of blowouts, even more pain, and then they drop out, because they don’t want to deal with it. Just getting blown out again and again, first of all they have to deal with all the anxiety, that’s a lot of pain there, then they get blown out again and again. MORE pain. And it’s just not worth it.

They get 10 approaches under their belt, and they just stop going to the club. It’s just not fun. It’s a brutal attack on their ego.

Stage 3: Rollercoaster Emotions

Stage 3 of failure. There will be a few guys, who stay in this, and push through those initial blow outs, they push through the pain, they push through the initial anxiety, and the hang in. These guys are the real sado -masochists for self-inflicted torture.

We’re getting down to the 10% of the guys who stick with it at this point, if that. They love the pain. I’m one of those guys, 10 years ago when I started out. These are exactly the steps I’ve gone through. I can see why most guys would drop out, that was fucking tough. You’ve got to really want the pussy. You’ve got to really want to get laid to hang in this far.

But with a little bit of time and some blow-outs, they learn to hide or mask their approach anxiety and neediness. They still feel it a lot, but they learn to act despite it, and they start to use pre-planned and pre-memorized routines that they find actually gets the girls to laugh and they can hold a set for 30 seconds, a minute, maybe they learn to stack some routines. Maybe can entertain a girl for 5 minutes even if it goes well. Which feels great when it happens.

But what happens to this guy. If he gets this far, where he can hide some of his approach anxiety, or repress it a little bit, and he knows a little bit about how to make a girl laugh with some routines, his internal emotions, throughout the night, are like a fucking rollercoaster.

When he starts out, he’s anxious, but he barrels through, does an approach and get gets a good response from a canned opener and a canned routine. The girls are laughing. Some initial acceptance. And what happens to the guy’s internal state? He’s soaring, he feels great about himself, he’s like “I’m the man! This shit works!”

He feels great about winning the girl’s approval; he feeds off their smile, he feeds off their fun vibe, and he feeds off their good feelings.

But look, he can’t keep the energy up. He can’t keep the high energy going. And the conversation will naturally turn to a lull. Because girls are typically not good conversationalists. Most of them. Most of the weight is on your shoulders.

And he can’t just do high energy, laughing routines blah blah blah going on forever. He’ll try to extend it on 15 or 20 minutes, try to stay in the set as long as possible to entertain the girls, keep getting their approval. And the girls will often do nothing to help you. They’ll laugh but often they don’t reciprocate so well.

And the moment you start running out of material or you’re just getting tired of the interaction, the moment things start to lull and it feels like you’re losing the girl’s attention a little bit and their approval, the guy will eject from the set. He’ll be like, “Okay, thanks girls, bye…”

Because he doesn’t want to lose the set, he wants to eject while he’s still on a high.

Or, now the guy will turn to another set of girls, use the same opener, use the same routines that got the first set of girls laughing, and now these other girls just blow him off. He’s thinking, “damn, it’s the same material I’m doing.” Now you get a blow off, you get a second blow off, and now you start feeling deflated, like “Fuck, maybe I DO suck at this.”

So, the night is an emotional roller coaster, up-down, up-down, up-down… this set of girls likes you, you can’t hold it, but at least they like you, you’re soaring high, the next set of girls blows you out. They don’t laugh at all at your stuff, and you feel like crap. Because you didn’t get their approval, you didn’t get their acceptance, you couldn’t feed off their good emotions.

So when he gets a good response, the guy inside soars. And when he gets a less than a great response, he crashes.

So this guy got through the first 10 terrible blowouts, now he’s getting a little bit of success, but he doesn’t stay in a set very long because he can’t keep the energy up, he’s hopping in and out of sets every minute or two. He’s constantly looking for approval and acceptance. He still feels the pain of approach anxiety, and his ego is getting hit, even though it’s sometimes getting validated.

But this rollercoaster of feelings of going up and down, down and up, of getting approval, getting blown out, it’s fucking exhausting. Especially if you want to keep it up for two hours, and a party can go on a lot longer than two hours. For hours, six hours of doing that?? After a few hours of this, most guys feel completely burned out and spent.

They have some good experiences, they made some girls laugh, but they also feel stressed out from constantly chasing acceptance and chasing good reactions from girls. Because they never really push they interactions beyond doing an opener, make her laugh routines. These guys never get laid either. They don’t get the real kinds of results that they want; after all, we’re here to get laid, not to just make girls giggle.

And after a few months of the emotional rollercoaster, not really getting any real results, most of the guys who made it this far, maybe a month or 2 or 3 or 4 or 5 into this, they also drop out. Because it’s not worth it, they don’t get the results they want, too much pain, they don’t want to be on the rollercoaster. It’s just too exhausting.

Stage 4: Feeling Fake, The Entertainer

So we get to stage 4, some guys will stick through this emotional rollercoaster experience. They learn to adapt to the rollercoaster experience. They build up a huge arsenal of routines, tactics, and stories. They can stack on upon another, they can go on for 10, 15, 20 minutes.

And what we’re talking about is the 1% of guys who stay in it at this point. 99% of the guys out there have quit or they linger on the sidelines as keyboard jockeys on the computer talking theory. But they don’t actually go out – because it’s really too painful. I don’t blame them. I wouldn’t stick in there. But in reality, I did, but I wouldn’t recommend it to anyone.

So the guys who remain in there, they open a girl with a canned opener, they stack routine after routine, routines designed to get positive reactions from the women. And they know from experience that they’re going to get some positive reactions.

But what happens is, after your practice this enough, over enough months, you become what’s called a response junkie. Where you’re constantly seeking good reactions from the girls, constantly seeking the girl’s approval.

And that’s what we call someone who is in the game, an “entertainer”. Or a dancing monkey, but really it’s an entertainer, where you’re pulling out all the stops. Dancing monkey, I think that’s too derogatory of a term, because those people who get this far they really did stick through this, that’s a rare person. Entertainer is more accurate really.

Where you’re pulling out all the stops to keep the girl’s attention and you’re trying hard to keep her positive at all times for like 20 minutes on end, where you’re like MTV show.

But after a year of this most guys are going to quit. First of all, they’re still experiencing approach anxiety and the pain of that, even though they can repress it. They’re still experiencing that they don’t really like this, that it’s an emotional rollercoaster, even though they can kind of control their feelings more, just from experience.

But more importantly, after you use canned routines again and again, 100 times over, 100 nights over, you just start feeling like a big fake and a phony. I mean how weird is it to walk around in a club and ask people “who lies more, men or women?” 20 times over your shoulder. You start to feel empty. If there was any joy in this at the beginning when you start getting some success, you start to lose it, it becomes dumb.

The girls can feel the incongruence in you as well. They might laugh and giggle at your routines, but they don’t get the kind of hard attraction, like “oh my god this guy is so hot, and so sexy I just want to spread my legs for the entertainer man.” Hard attraction is not sparked, they might have some light attraction but hard attraction is not sparked because she detects, the woman detected incongruence in you because you’re trying to put on this persona of an entertainer man, TV show style.

When in reality the guy who gets this far, he doesn’t want to do cutesy routines. Really deep down inside he just wants to grab the girl and fuck her. And bang her. Right? That’s the point of this.

Or he gets the subconscious belief that girls don’t really like you. They like your routines, they might giggle and smile at your routines and your entertainment, but they’re not really attracted to you. They’re not liking you just for you. Like the moment you were to drop the antics, and the game, most of them would just get bored talking with the real you after 30 seconds, and blow you out.

So you’re still not being naturally attractive. Or else if you were naturally attractive, you could just shut the fuck up, stand there mute for like a minute, give nothing to the interaction, and still have the girls chasing and pawing you down. But that’s clearly not what happens with entertainer man.

And with the entertainer, with practicing this over again and again, after a while you feel you just can’t approach a beautiful woman normally. You can’t just go up to a beautiful woman and say, “Hey, what’s up. My name’s Jesse.” And have the girl attracted just by introducing yourself normally. You feel that you HAVE to use some kind of trick to hold a girl’s attention.

That’s not being a true natural, what you want to achieve is just to be able to walk into any room, go up to any girl, say hello to her, and have her chasing you down.

So, the rollercoaster of emotions, the feeling you have to entertain to get the girl’s approval and constantly get her good reactions, you start to feel fake after a while doing all this, the girls can feel your incongruence, and guys they just don’t feel normal and they don’t have fun with it.

Even worse, this kind of pickup, it doesn’t even work! You will get a lot of girls laughing and giggling, but it doesn’t get you laid. You can go out 100 nights and maybe you’ll get laid a few times. But generally, not with the really hot girls, the top quality girls that you really want. And it just feels like fucking chore.

So there you have it – why most guys don’t make it. That’s why you want to check out the Nonverbal Sexual Mind Control program to learn game the CORRECT way.

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