I approach the bar and order two different cocktails…what were they? One was colourful and sweet, the other strong the slightly sour, I notice a chick behind me waiting to order a drink too, she’s directly behind me.  I turn to exit the bar and, as I now hold my assortment of beverages, in one motion I turn my head and say this, ‘would you like to get to the bar?’ and as I turn my shoulder she replies ‘yes!’ I counter reply with a ‘tough luck’ as I smile and turn back to face the bar. I pause for a second then say ‘here you go’, I then step to the side, remaining at the bar as she seductively slides in beside me, placing a playful hand on my hip. “I know how annoying it is when you get these ignorant people in clubs” (describing myself, with a smile).

“However you should try being a guy, we get ignored by the bar staff too”. So what you going for lady? Liquor, or some lethal and obscure wine? “She’ll have vodka and Cranberry. I fancied a change so I went for a cocktail, I went for two as I couldn’t decide which one I wanted”. “Which do you prefer?” Thrusting them under her nose. “This bar only allows credit of over $30 so was forced to get two, wasn’t I?” She preferred the colourful sweet one., “That’s probably as it reflects your character, just like this beverage you are strong, fruity and playful, I better watch out for you then.” Her drink arrives, “ how is it? I have never had a drink with so much ice” A blatant fabrication. “ She instantly offers me a taste. “Hhhmm, not bad but I think my cocktails have ruined my taste buds. Plus I have to give this to one of my buddies, but he’s bumped into his ex girlfriend and haven’t seen him for agues, and don’t really feel like playing 3rd wheel, know what I mean? Saying that I better go see how he is.” I let her leave; held her gaze, the observed where she walked too. I lapped the bar a few times, striking up an eloquent conversation or two with some average girls.

The Blonde The Brunette And The Bouncer

We salute you!

She is sitting with a blonde; opposite them are two huge bouncer-looking guys, one with his back to the table. I would normally approach the girls from behind but at an angle. I approached the side of the blonde. “Hey, I need your point of view on something, I glance across the table to meet the eyes of the babe from the bar, what are the chances? A total coincidence! I continue without breaking. “ I have already had your friends opinion on this” “How’s your vodka going down, feeling the effects yet?” I say to the brunette. I run the taste test on the blonde, and repeat the fabrication of my friend entwined with his ex. “I couldn’t find my friend so am testing which drink is better”. I talk and focus in on the blonde, and ask how the two know each other, evolving the both at intervals. The brunette already knew my name. I apologise that I may be interrupting the group, knowing that the two other guys are not with the two chicks, and decide that they are my competition and must be destroyed! I do hope I haven’t stolen someone’s seat, glancing around the room theatrically.

Jealous Giants

They confirm my suspicions of Arney and Stallone next to me, and tell me that its just the two of them, thus the mission begins. They load me with further ammo by confessing the Bebop and Rocksteady have been trying to hit on them all night. I turn to the muscle men and say, “ I didn’t steal your seat did I, I need a guys opinion on this?”  One grunts, I let him taste the sweet elixir. He pulls a face, saying that it was strong. I ask what he’s drinking, I sip his bourbon, pull a horrible face to them, turn to the girls and say “mmmh its really nice isn’t it?”. I ask the guys where they are  heading, they say that they will leave after these drinks. Yes! Half the battle won. The blonde, impressed by my confidence in the face of annihilation at the hands of the steroid twins, commends my bravery. “Im just a guy out for some fun, is it my fault that they are un-friendly?..no. My plan was to get them to crack a smile, I’m sorry I have clearly failed”. She laughs, her eyes sparkle, 2 points to SS, and 0 to the giants.

The girls stand, “you don’t mind if I come to the next bar with you? Plus I haven’t even tasted your drink yet” smiling to the blonde. “Sure come with” with a flirtatious glance.

Bar 2 And The Work Beggins

We arrive at the 2nd bar, again I buy a cocktail, what? Im in touch with my feminine said this evening, and its working. The place is empty, dead! I defiantly place my feet on the table where we sit. A bouncer swiftly instructs me to remove my feet. I comply, but as he turns his back, my feet return to there rightful position. I am king of the world. I say to the blonde “its not as if its even busy in here, I must be getting on the way of these overflowing crowds”. She laughs uncontrollably. We get up and stroll to the bar, the brunette asks if I want a drink, (I am feeling trashed). “Sure mien will be a coke”. She laughs seductively; “no seriously” “Ok a diet coke then”. She asks if I want it with whiskey, I say, sure, yeah whatever” The drinks arrive, we sit in a large booth, the three of us, me and the two knockouts.

One of their chums is the bouncer here, who chats with the blonde. We discover that he’s just about to finish his shift, and will come and join us. I think this is bullshit, and unfair that I have to champion so many large scary men in one night, I decide I am Luke Skywalker, and aim to slice him with my verbal lightsaber. On the upside, he distracts the blonde as I lead the brunette (my target) to the dance floor. We dance, she is intoxicating, I whisper that I am gay and I think she will be the one to turn me (an obvious lie for SS). She stoops with laughter, I consider in taking her right here on this dance floor.

Obstacle, What Obstacles?

Bar 3, and my mind drifts with an alcohol induced mirage, I collects myself; my vision improves. The bouncer, in our ever-growing party, gets us through the gauntlet of guards with no admission fee, great! He hands us a bounty of free drinks I accept graciously. Maybe this bouncer is destined to be my new wing, nah his too scary looking. “I am confused, I don’t usually get treated this way by door men, they usually get me a shot too”. They eat it up, and I’m king of this group. The brunette drags me to the dance floor, the blond is drunk as hell, I have no more obstacles. I move behind her, slide my hands down her thighs, she press’s against me, I whisper, “not bad, not bad at all”. Her face turns, mine remains on the same position. Our eyes lock, we kiss and I bit her lower lip. As she leans in, I lean back, and smile. We dance and kiss, then a large group of her friends arrive. They are drunker than us, not possible; they dance around us. I suggest we continue our moment another time, and say that we owe it to ourselves to continue this. She agrees and asks for my number, I say that there is no point in giving people numbers, who are not going to call (major risk) it paid off as she forces her number onto me. I reluctantly accept, we talk about bullshit for a minute or two and I leave. She was a 9.5, and I played a long and hard game. We met again at her request three days later and we closed the deal.

Happy giant slaying.

SS

I will obey!

All alpha men exhibit six characteristics; these traits can be learnt and mimicked. If a male portrays all six of these powerful facets, women will find them very attractive. Trust me on this, it can conjure serious power. So, the six characteristics of an alpha male are;

1)    Social Proof

Among friends, colleagues, peers or groups of women or mixed groups you have met in a social gathering. Or the proof through stories / conversations that you have social proof.

2)    Confidence

An out-would demonstration of self-assurance, and relaxation, being at piece and comfort with oneself. Not caring what others think or say to you is also a great demonstration of confidence.

3)    Smile

Women love a great smile, it puts them at ease, relaxes them a relays comfort. Trust me crack a smile pretty much constantly. You can tease and be critical of women but as long as you hold a smile they ‘usually’ take it lightly.

4)    Humour

This is obvious guys, demonstrate this through light hearted conversation and jokes, poke fun at others and yourself. Men with humour have high value in the eyes of females…..enough said!

5)    Well Groomed

A well groomed, tidy dude hooks up far more often than a dirty poorly dressed Goth right? Chicks generally go for well dressed, tidy looking men, demonstrate this improve your chances.

6)    Connection

Shared experiences and moments, emotional connection through conversation or developed connection through duration of time spent together. Develops multiple connections with a chick and she will have an instant attraction to you.

I absolutely dominated a cocktail bar with this! Here’s great story of me smashing it with some hotties, and a fitting demonstration of these 6 characteristics in action. Ill leave you to figure out where in the night I demonstrated these traits, rest assured my success was a direct result of my alpha-ismes!

So there you go, master these traits and you’ll have hot women begging for your affection. Believe me this stuff works almost too well, good luck soldiers.

SS

Listen to this Privates, I was in a bar last night running lines on girls and infiltrating groups etc, when one semi intellig…