See Tim Blog

My Latest Piece for The Nervous Breakdown...

noreply@blogger.com (Tim Anderson) — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 17:47:00 +0000

Is now up over at TNB. Here's a teaser:

The late eighties were a great time to be a fanboy of weirdo new wave ladysingers from outer space (mainly Britain). It seemed like every time you turned on your new favorite show, 120 Minutes, some wackadoodle dame dripping with otherworldly moxie was popping up sporting a leotard or a tutu or a completely bald head, leaving your mouth gaping in wonder at the sheer brilliance of it all. You had your helium-voiced ethereal fantasist (Kate Bush), your ferocious and feline Weimar Republic throwback/riding crop enthusiast (Siouxsie Sioux), your tiny elfin powder keg (Bjork of the Sugarcubes), your scary trannie android (Annie Lennox of Eurythmics), and your testy and tempestuous ingénue (Sinead O’Connor). All of these ladies had allure to burn and the musical chops to back it all up.

[continue reading]

The NYC City Clerk's Marriage Application Website Gets Judgy

noreply@blogger.com (Tim Anderson) — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 02:07:00 +0000

So, first! Jimmy and I are getting married, isn't that hiLARious? Yes, we figured that since we've been together for 14 years and it's legal to get gay-married in New York now--and especially since it has been a long-standing goal of ours to destroy traditional marriage (you're officially on notice, Rick and Karen Santorum)--we're going to get hitched, and not only because I want to get on Jimmy's health insurance, how could you even think that?

So last night we submitted our application online and were instructed to show up at the City Clerk's office within 21 days with our IDs, Social Security numbers, and preferred brand of condoms so that we can say "I do" and get this shit over with. But before I got to the confirmation page, I was instructed to type the letters "LUWD" into the space in order to prove that my application was not gay spam.

Really, City Clerk's office? You want me to type those letters into the space? You want to sound that out for me?

In conclusion, why is the random letter generator on this website such a homophobe?

Holy Crap, I'm on Andrew Sullivan's Blog!

noreply@blogger.com (Tim Anderson) — Fri, 20 Jan 2012 03:18:00 +0000

Wow, this is really quite something. I've been reading Andrew Sullivan's blog religiously for about 5 years, ever since he became the only conservative voice out there who wasn't a completely delusional nutbag. In fact, he's one of the most clear-thinking and intellectually honest writers I've ever encountered. Anyway, one of the great things about his blog is that, though it's heavily weighted towards politics, it also covers a lot of other great topics that are out there--among them religion vs. atheism, marijuana use among MANY Americans, scientific debates, and, most importantly, the Pet Shop Boys. It's all there. And one of his pet topics is how much he loathes the publishing industry. He did a video response last week to a reader who asked why he hates the publishing industry so much, which was fun. I wrote a letter to him and his team in response and yesterday they ran the letter and, even though I didn't mention the name of the book in my letter (I dropped big clues, but I didn't want to be too unseemly--it's bad to dress like a pimp when you're pimpin'), they actually found the book on Amazon and included hyperlinks for folks to buy it OMG!

Truly, truly a thrill to be on that blog. I love it dearly. It has done a lot to keep me sane over the past decade. Plus, he's as obsessed with Sarah Palin as I am.

Dept. of Duh: Paula Deen, Fried Chicken, Krispy Kreme Donut Cheeseburgers, and Type II Diabetes

noreply@blogger.com (Tim Anderson) — Wed, 18 Jan 2012 04:27:00 +0000

Oh, Paula. What a bummer, that Type 2 diabetes diagnosis. Who could have predicted that? Certainly not me or any other living sentient being whose brain cells have not been deep fried and dunked in a chocolate fondu. You eat so healthfully! But you know what is also a bummer? You keeping this diagnosis a secret for three years before telling your many many fans, who wait with baited breath for every masterful recipe you come up with for Twinkie-infused, caramel-smothered, deep-fried sugar-blasted carbohydrate pie. It's... unseemly.

Now don't get me wrong. I LOVE Paula Deen. I went to her Savannah restaurant last year with my mom and sister and we ate like hawgs. (Not like hogs. Like hawgs.) But when you deliberately keep from the public the fact that you've been diagnosed with a disease that is directly related to the culinary lifestyle you are a purveyor of, that's like eating a hot dog and leaving off the hot fudge: just wrong.

As some of you may know, I'm a type 1 diabetic. I was diagnosed when I was 15 after my pancreas just stone cold walked off the job of producing insulin, which my young body needed in order to not die. My diagnosis, as us Type 1 diabetics like to smugly point out, had nothing to do with my lifestyle, my diet, or my love of sugar-coated everything. Type 1 diabetes is a mysterious beast and if it chooses you, there's nothing you can do to stop it from turning you around, bending you over, and sticking it to you good and proper, over and over, for the rest of your life--or, rather, forcing you to stick yourself (usually sitting upright, though not always), sometimes three or four times a day.

But Type 2 diabetes is an altogether different plate of Double Stuffed Oreo Crumble. Like Type 1 diabetes, Type 2 has a hereditary component to it. If you have either of these two in your family, there is a chance you will be chosen by the Diabetes Fairy to wear the crown and sash. But while Type 1 diabetics are shit out of luck when it comes to prevention, those in danger of becoming Type 2 diabetic can actually intervene and lower the likelihood that they get the disease. The key is to reduce your risks: if you have diabetes in your family and you are overweight and eat like a hoss (Hi, Paula!) then you really need to make some changes, like not eating corn dogs wrapped in chocolate chip almond creme truffle pancakes and washing it all down with a mug full of Boston creme all day, every day, forever. And it would be helpful if, when you are told you have the disease, that you not hide this fact from an audience that depends on you for its fix of crusty-toffee-white-chocolate-cherry-chunk-orgy-of-death by chocolate cake recipes. You might think of, you know, educating your flock about the dangers of eating cholesterol directly out of the bag with a soup ladle.

And now Paula has masterfully transitioned to a brand new gig as a Novo Nordisk spokeslady*. Novo Nordisk is the maker of a diabetes drug that will now be the likeliest diabetes drug to be on the tip of Paula's millions of fans' tongues. That is, when their tongues aren't too busy making their way through an entire Wilmington Island Marsh Mud Cake. Ninety-nine percent of these fans will be receiving their Type 2 diabetes diagnosis in 5... 4... 3... 2....

Well played, Novartis.

*corrected

Whoops, I Forgot It Was Friday the 13th Today, So Here's A Terrifying Leftover Holiday Window Display to Molest Your Dreams

noreply@blogger.com (Tim Anderson) — Sat, 14 Jan 2012 02:40:00 +0000

Sleep well!

Get Ready to Roll Your Eyes

noreply@blogger.com (Tim Anderson) — Thu, 12 Jan 2012 20:05:00 +0000

Oh, Jesus, New York Post, you really are the worst, aren't you? When I saw this headline today I just about choked on my own tongue. Are you kidding me?

As some of you may know, there's a new book out called The Obamas that dishes some dirt on the supposed friction between Michelle Obama and members of the administration, particularly hot rod Rahm Emmanuel. (It is extremely important and relevant to note here that this book currently sits a mere four slots above my own book about the Obamas, Tune in Tokyo, on Amazon's Kindle nonfiction top 100 list OMG.) The White House has responded to the headlines this book has generated by downplaying the drama, and part of this effort was Michelle Obama doing a sit-down interview with, for some reason, Oprah's best friend Gayle King. During this interview, our FLOTUS said this (copied directly from the Post):

“But that’s been an image that people have tried to paint of me since, you know, the day Barack announced that I’m some angry, black woman.”

This is true! Remember the legend of the Michelle Obama "whitey" videotape that every right-wing reptile was dying to get their hands on? (And by the way, like I said, I copied and pasted the above quotation directly from the Post's website. Notice how they cheekily left out the comma that should go after the word announced so basically it looks like she's saying that Barack announced that Michelle is some angry black woman. Nice touch, guys.)

Anyway, so of course the media are going to cover this response of hers, and unfortunately the New York Post is classified as "the media," so of course we were bound to see something about this on the famously right-wing daily's front page this morning. And what did the bilious baboons over at the Post decide was the best headline for this story? That's right: Mad as Hell Michelle!

I bet the Post newsroom smells like a high school cafeteria.

Today in Growing Old Gracefully: Dale Bozzio of Missing Persons

noreply@blogger.com (Tim Anderson) — Sun, 08 Jan 2012 18:49:00 +0000

I was reading that new book about MTV recently (the same one I referenced a few weeks back), and it was pretty a pretty fun read, with lots of dirt and a few stomach-turning moments. Everyone was such a drunk slut in the '80s. So gross and unfair. Anyway, one part in particular jumped out at me, because I'd been wondering whatever happened to Dale Bozzio, the lead singer of Missing Persons. Beth McCarthy, an MTV producer, explains on page 134:

Mark Goodman asked me to go to his dressing room to get some notes for him--I was the assistant to the line producer, so I would do errands for the VJs. I ran to his dressing room, opened the door, and, um, Les was getting a blow job from Dale Bozzio. I saw this out of the corner of my eye and closed the door very quickly.

Wait a minute, wait a minute. Dale Bozzio? Giving a blow job to the executive vice president for programming for MTV? That doesn't sound like her. Why would she do that? To get her videos played, sure, but why else? Anyway, Dale doesn't seem like the type of trollop that would suck on a dick to get ahead. I mean, look at her, does she look like the type a gal who would compromise her integrity just for the sake of some modest airplay on an upcoming cable network?

Okay, yeah she does. But how about we give Dale an opportunity defend herself on page 135 against this scurrilous rumor, shall we? Go ahead, Dale:

I don't have any comment. I appreciate your time, but I'm not interested in being interviewed, okay? I'd rather have nothing to say.

Okay, yeah, she did it. But who among us didn't give a blow job in the 80s for a little bit of airplay? We all did this. Poor Dale. I feel for her, this being the only thing she's remembered for in a 600-page book about MTV. But at least this passage led me to the Google machine to look her up. I hoped she was doing something life affirming and worthwhile, like growing medical marijuana or appearing in dinner theater productions of The Rocky Horror Picture Show. I was in for a bit of a letdown.

Oh how the mighty have gotten arrested. Yes, Dale was arrested for animal cruelty in 2008, an event that led to the above mugshot being taken of our dear Dale. She was convicted in 2009. So basically, Dale Bozzio has become a crazy cat lady. Except worse: she's a crazy cat lady who neglects her cats. WTF? This is a like an 80s pop singer who doesn't give blow jobs.

Anyway, this seems like as good a time as any to remember Dale Bozzio in better days, so watch this video, won't you?

Oh Yeah, and Before We Move on to 2012, Tune in Tokyo Was Named One of Publisher's Weekly's Favorite Reads of 2011!

noreply@blogger.com (Tim Anderson) — Sun, 08 Jan 2012 03:23:00 +0000

It's true. Capping off a great year for TiT, Publisher's Weekly swooped in at the last minute and made my Christmas. I LOVE the first sentence of this blurb, which is a backhanded compliment of the first order: "Since this is “favorite” rather than “best”, I’d single out Tune in Tokyo by Tim Anderson as a laugh aloud treat."

PW has been so kind to Tune in Tokyo over the past year, for which I extend my heartfelt ありがとうず。I'm available for guest columns, interviews, and topless centerfolds should the need arise, y'all. Just let me know!

Escape From New York: Christmas in Chinatown, Then New Year in Raleigh

noreply@blogger.com (Tim Anderson) — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 03:20:00 +0000

Folks, for some reason, it's hard to get back to blogging after two weeks or so of not doing it for whatever reason (laziness). Why is that? Is it because it's a challenge to logically present all the idiotic, useless things bouncing around in one's head since Christmas that probably nobody wants to read about? Maybe.

So anyway, one way of getting through this blogger's block is to just force you guys to look through photos of all the stuff I got up to on my Christmas vacation! So this post is going to be HUGE because there's lots of territory to cover and I'm impatient to get it over with. Or, if not HUGE, it's at least going to have a lot of pictures, which the illiterates among you will really lov. Onwards!

Jimmy and I had our usual Christmas-day-in-Chinatown face stuffing. The picture up top is my curry chicken noodle soup and above is Jimmy making his way through beef something-or-other with rice. His hand is blurry because he's eating fast, in order to eat more. After Christmas, I headed down to Raleigh to see the family AND to have a Tune in Tokyo event at Humble Pie downtown on the 28th, yay! Stella didn't want me to go:

But I did, and here is the only picture I have of the event because I forgot to ask folks to take pictures. :(

Yes, that's a Hello Kitty toaster on the display table and no, you can't have it.

Willis, my friend Dani's cat, was devastated that he didn't get to go to my reading but he made himself feel better by eating a couple cheeseburgers and getting even fatter. Ok, bummer alert:

As some of you may remember, my Dad died last December 29. Well, this year on that day I went to lunch with my mom and my brother Kevin, then we went over to the Columbarium where his ashes lay and visited for a little while. It was a nice, sunny day, and it was thoroughly lovely. Mom's doing very well!

I think it was the next day that Kevin and I went on a walk behind the art museum, and there were some fun installations on display. The above one was my favorite because it was made of tires, and I love rubber.

Then I went over to my friends Ruth and Mike's house for steaks and met my friend Deana's new baby, who is a peanut. Oh my God he was just mesmerizing...

On New Year's Eve afternoon, Kevin and I went downtown to Fayetteville Street because we heard there was going to be a Ferris Wheel in the middle of the street. I wanted to ride it! Sadly, the line was way too long because it was the only fun, non-alcoholic thing on offer at the time, so we didn't bother. But we did keep walking because I wanted to see the big acorn that always drops from a crane as Raleigh's answer to Time's Square's juicy apple. It wasn't hoisted onto the crane at the time so I was able to get a close-up.

There was also ice skating happening...

But we weren't in the mood for that. What we were in the mood for was alcohol, if I'm being honest, so we went to the Raleigh Times bar and had a few very large draft beers while sitting outside and enjoying the view of folks gathering for the evening's festivities. We stayed there until it was too dark and cold to enjoy ourselves and then made our way back through the center of Fayetteville Street and what we soon realized was a parade. I love a parade!

After stopping in at Brewmasters to stuff our faces full of THE AWESOME FOOD THERE, we walked through Nash Square back to Kevin's car and for the first time I saw the firefighters memorial that had been erected there in 2006. It was all lit up so I took a picture...

Also, do you like dogs, especially puppies? Then you would love Kevin's young pup Griffin, who is so hyper and excited that he's very hard to photograph. But I managed to get a decent shot of him when he was briefly still behind the fence of Kevin's back yard.

And here's another of Griffin and his buddy Youna, who is also an attention hog and never sits still, so I had to move away to take this one, therefore they look like unhappy prisoner dogs but they are not!

On my last night, mom, Kevin and I sat around the table and I finally got Kevin on video playing his teeth like a xylophone, which I've been meaning to do forever. Enjoy this clip, kids...

And that is all! Happy New Year, six days late when it's old news and no one cares anymore because Michele Bachman's husband will never be First Lady, which is so sad!

Chopsticks NY Reviews Tune in Tokyo

noreply@blogger.com (Tim Anderson) — Tue, 27 Dec 2011 02:49:00 +0000

Ladies, Chopsticks NY is a bi-weekly magazine that covers all things Japan in NYC. Well, hold on to your bobby socks, because they've given Tune in Tokyo a great review! Go read it and patronize their sponsors or something!

Merry Christmas from See Tim Blog

noreply@blogger.com (Tim Anderson) — Sun, 25 Dec 2011 15:56:00 +0000

Merry Christmas, world! (Sorry the sound is so squeaky, this was recorded on a dang Droid, gimme a break. At least I turned on the light behind me--that made all the difference. [I was inside way too long today.])

My First Japanese Media Interview!

noreply@blogger.com (Tim Anderson) — Wed, 21 Dec 2011 21:47:00 +0000

Folks, you may have never heard of the Japanese website Axiom before, but you have now because I've told you about it. It's an awesome site! Anyway, they're running a fun interview with yours truly now and you should go read it and learn something about yourself and also me (mostly me).

New Interview Up Over at the Pubslush Blog

noreply@blogger.com (Tim Anderson) — Tue, 20 Dec 2011 12:52:00 +0000

Pubslush Press is an interesting new publishing venture where writers can submit ten pages and a summary of a manuscript that will then be available to readers, and if the manuscript receives enough reader support it will then be published by Pubslush. And "for every book sold a book will be donated to a child in need." Awesome, no?

Anyway, so they interviewed me for their blog and its up on the site now here:

And here is a handy yootoob explaining the Pubslush deal.

Holy Crap, Tune in Tokyo Excerpt Is Up on Boing Boing!

noreply@blogger.com (Tim Anderson) — Tue, 20 Dec 2011 12:47:00 +0000

Read it here.

TiT Love from Shelf Awareness

noreply@blogger.com (Tim Anderson) — Tue, 20 Dec 2011 12:36:00 +0000

Tune in Tokyo has gotten a GREAT review over at Shelf Awareness, check it out immediately!

NYC Elevator Horror is the Latest Thing, Apparently

noreply@blogger.com (Tim Anderson) — Tue, 20 Dec 2011 04:11:00 +0000

Good God, as if we need more reasons to feel twitchy in an elevator, now there have been two (2!) horrific elevator deaths in the past week in New York. The first? Oh just an ad executive lady who got crushed by an elevator that she stepped into last Wednesday morning. The second? Oh, you know, just your typical "crazy dude with a weird vendetta sprays flammable liquid all over his elderly neighbor then sets her alight with a Molotov cocktail. In the elevator."

I think I probably speak for everyone when I say, "I think from now on I'll just take the stairs to my 8th floor office." And polyester is hella flammable, yes? So also, "I think from now on I will change into my polyester pants after getting safely to work."

RIP to both of these poor women. Just awful.

Remembrance: Kirsty MacColl, Killed 11 Years Ago Today

noreply@blogger.com (Tim Anderson) — Sun, 18 Dec 2011 00:00:00 +0000

Many folks who know me know that I'm a freak about this Kirsty MacColl lady that they've never heard of. I am! And if you are a fan of classic British pop, you should be one, too. Kirsty is best known in this country for her duet with the Pogues on their gorgeous Christmas song "Fairytale of New York" from 1987. She should have been famous for much more, but she never got her due, then she was killed in the year 2000 in a freak/horrific boating accident in Mexico. It's a sad, sad story that will never make sense. She was only 41. 41! Senseless.

But you can console me by exploring Kirsty's back catalog. I recommend, first and foremost, that you check out her final album, the sunny and celebratory Tropical Brainstorm, which she made with Cuban musicians. She was in saucy form, singing songs about sex and making love and doing it and other things like that. (My favorite track: "Us Amazonians") You should also get her album Kite, which is a great collection of British jangle pop that includes a great cover of "You Just Haven't Earned It Yet, Baby." Also, get Galore, her hits collection, which includes a cover of Lou Reed's "Perfect Day," which she sings with Evan Dando of the Lemonheads, as well as "Caroline," a song she described as "Jolene's reply" to Dolly Parton. Also, here is a great BBC2 documentary about her life in music.

RIP, Kirsty. You are missed more as the years troll on toward oblivion, especially looking at how many dumb/tedious/idiotic/talentless pop stars are still alive.

Here she is with the Pogues in better days. Look for the cameo by Matt Dillon!

Shameless Plugs: Merry Monsters!

noreply@blogger.com (Tim Anderson) — Sun, 11 Dec 2011 23:36:00 +0000

Folks, I think it's about time for another Tim Stamp of Approval because 'tis the season and all that. What, I can hear you asking, is my favorite new product on the market? The answer is going to save your Christmas: Merry Monsters.

These dolls are handmade, adorable, and best of all, they have hilarious backstories! Take Sasha, for instance:

Meet Sasha. She's a monster of the very kindest kind. Although most of her counterparts are ravenous carnivores, Sasha is a vegetarian. She is a friend to all animals and humans. She's never met a stranger. She's the monster that will approach you in the grocery store and advise you not to purchase the grapes because the current batch is sour. She's the monster that will sit beside you on the bus to talk about the weather. She's the first one at the water cooler to talk about last nights episode of "30 Rock". Don't worry, she understands quiet time too, always willing to just sit and hold your hand.

Sasha, who currently resides on my bed, obviously has great taste in teevee shows, and she's got Tina Turner hair to boot.

But things get even cuter, because here comes Iggy:

Meet Iggy. Iggy (formally Ignatious; although the only one who dares call him that is his mother. And she has refrained from doing so since the incident in 2003) has turned over a new leaf. Until now, the biggest commitment he'd made was to his punk rock LP collection. It turns out all the stage diving and mosh pits left him feeling a little empty inside. He wants you to fill the void. His exterior may seem a little rough. The truth is he has a heart of gold. He spends his spare time these days rescuing kittens from too tall trees, helping old ladies cross the street and volunteering at the soup kitchen. It won't take much to convince him to come live with you. In fact, you had him at "hello".

Yeah, Iggy and I used to go to the same clubs in the '80s. Anyway, Iggy and Sasha share a bed, but they are platonic, because they aren't really each other's type. But apparently they are both my boyfriend Jimmy's type because he clings to them at night like a lovesick fraggle.

Get your own Merry Monster here!

Tune in Tokyo Launch Party at Wix Lounge

noreply@blogger.com (Tim Anderson) — Mon, 05 Dec 2011 04:04:00 +0000

The Tune in Tokyo book launch at Wix Lounge was a blast last Wednesday, and I want to thank everyone who came out and the folks at Wix for helping us put on such a great party! I hope everyone got to meet my mother and that she got a chance to tell you that she didn't raise me to use such awful language.

This photo was taken just a few moments before the microphone died because I was holding it too close to my mouth.

Rice cakes, Pocky sticks, sake, Japanese beer, some sushis, and paper plates were all on offer.

Some of my homemade (by that I mean "from a pre-made dough") Tune in Tokyo cookies.

Me signing a book while the cookies look on.

The crowd enjoys itself immeasurably.

Folks stone cold listenin'.

A great shot of me and momma, she in her lovely Christmas sweater.

I was briefly interrupted by a poltergeist during my reading.

The merchandise.

When party photography gets artistic.

You can see more pics on Wix's Facebook page here.

New Edition of Tune in Tokyo: The Gaijin Diaries Now Available!!

noreply@blogger.com (Tim Anderson) — Wed, 30 Nov 2011 03:18:00 +0000

Well, the big day is here, folks, and I know how happy you must be. The new edition of my book Tune in Tokyo is out now, available on Amazon or at any discerning/misguided indy bookstores. Order yours here!

Congratulations, You Now Have Plans on Wednesday!

noreply@blogger.com (Tim Anderson) — Mon, 28 Nov 2011 22:06:00 +0000

Y'all, my book Tune in Tokyo will officially be published tomorrow, yay! So it's officially Tune in Tokyo Eve, and I, for one, will be partying tonight. (Note: "partying" = tuna noodle casserole + diet cherry 7up)

BUT THERE'S MORE. On Wednesday, myself, Amazon Publishing, and the good folks over at Wix Lounge here in NYC are hosting a party to celebrate the end of Western civilization/publication of TiT, and you are cordially invited to attend with all of your unsavory friends. If you are on Facebook, you can RSVP here. Or you can just show up and plunder the sushi, beer, and nibbly things on offer. I'll be reading a little excerpt and then I'll be doing an old-fashioned strip tease involving a hula hoop and a box of Crunch 'n Munch.

YOU SHOULD COME.

Wow, Sure Glad I Decided to Check in on Occupy Wall Street on Sunday, Before They Released the Dogs

noreply@blogger.com (Tim Anderson) — Thu, 17 Nov 2011 16:37:00 +0000

Wow, that was some great timing. Jimmy and I biked into town on Sunday to see Cave of Forgotten Dreams and afterwards Jimmy suggested we bike down to Occupy Wall Street and see what all the hippies are doing. I thought this was a great idea because I hadn't been there in over a month and surely the interpretive dancing is off the hook by this point. (See video above.)

So we twirled on down there and Lord Almighty it smelled. Like, it wasn't a pungent smell like sewage or fart or piss--it wasn't that obvious. It just felt like, as we made our way through the encampment, we were walking through a big brown cloud of... something. Something that smelled... unpleasant. Kind of sort of deeply, deeply, profoundly unpleasant. Something you couldn't bear to put your finger on.

Anyway, on to the pictures:

Should have brought my viola, my weave, and my earnestness. Left all three at home.

This is where they keep all the dildos.

Cute bicyclist powering a generator with his blurry legs.

Flu shots, first-aid kits, condoms, lube, mints, dental floss.

The PB&J preparation table.

Entrance to the library, which sadly has now been destroyed, probably by illiterates.

Now that's more like it. What I came here for. Thank you, Mr. Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test!

Wait, what's a krip? Isn't that racist? Or, no, I think it's a really potent weed. If so, I think I've found my favorite contingent.

We'll always have Zuccotti. (Well, not in the literal sense.)

And, in conclusion, here's more of the interpretive dance that was taking place across the street from the park. Maybe this is the reason behind the police crackdown?

Camera Phone Denied: The Anderson Cooper Show

noreply@blogger.com (Tim Anderson) — Sun, 13 Nov 2011 15:29:00 +0000

I recently decided that I should take advantage of being unemployed and attend the taping of a terrible daytime talk show, because I'm in New York, and what could be worse than being unemployed and getting sucked into discussions about meaningless bullshit and/or awful personal tragedies? That's right: getting sucked in in person.

Did you know that Anderson Cooper has a new daytime talk show? It really makes perfect sense, because, though he has a perfectly respectable career as a swoon-worthy silver fox newsman, his biggest and most devoted fans are housewives with no gaydar and gay dudes who work the pole at night, so why not tap into that Cooper-ready audience of Nancies? Anyway, I got tickets to a recent taping because I figured it would be a great opportunity to talk to Anderson about my new book and, you know, give him a copy and encourage him to tweet about it or something. Or maybe I'd have a chance to hold it up in front of the camera? So me and my friend Rachel trolled on down to the Time Warner Building in Columbus Circle at the dreaded hour of 9 a.m. and got in line.

It took forever to go through all the security rigamarole and get taken to our seats. To our delight, the usher with the Madonna microphone headset on, after consulting a person on the other end, escorted us right up to the front row OMG! We quickly decided that it must be in Anderson Cooper's rider that the front row be filled with only beautiful, camera-ready people, and they took one look at us and decided we were the very definition of that. After sitting down, we leaned back and soaked in the looks of envy showered upon us from the commoners behind us. "Hey girls," I waved to the queens staring daggers at me from the balcony seats. Soon enough, though, Rachel and I realized that we were absolutely out of range of any camera in the entire studio. There was one immediately behind us, one behind us on the other end, and several in the audience, but we were uniquely positioned to remain forever completely unknown and anonymous to the America viewing public. Was Anderson fucking with us?

The topic for the day was a doozy: transgender children. Jesus, Anderson, can't you just chill out, it's daytime teevee, for God's sake. Why no Kathy Griffin? Why no empty-calorie celebritard interviews? Why no cooking segment? This dead-serious topic ensured that Andy had to wear his Concerned Face for the entire two-hour taping, which was kind of a bummer, because when's he gonna do a segment in his Speedos?

video platform video management video solutions video player

And we weren't given ANY free shwag! None. All the guests on the stage were sipping from cool Anderson mugs and I was hoping we'd get one on the way out, but we didn't get shit. I know Anderson is no Oprah (yet), but still, couldn't he have at least put a Snickers bar under our seats or something? And the only photo I was able to take before the handlers got all stern and grabby was the one up top, taken quickly and under duress.

Okay, so I'm being pretty negative, but here's the good stuff: Coop is, of course, devastatingly gorgeous, and he was dressed adorably in fitted slacks and a snug sweater with a collared shirt. (Fun fact: I used to go to his gym, so I've seen him in his underwear, bitches.) And the stage manager was hella sexy. Rachel almost took a bite out of his butt when he placed it in front of her for a minute.

The episode will air on this Wednesday, apparently, if you're interested. Two days after the one where Joy Behar gives money saving tips, ARGH!

TMInformation Dept: '80s Singer Limahl Overshares

noreply@blogger.com (Tim Anderson) — Fri, 04 Nov 2011 18:44:00 +0000

You guys remember Limahl, right? The new-wave mullet-sporting leader of Kajagoogoo and singer of the Never-ending Story theme song? He was sure ridiculous, even for the '80s, my favorite decade, amiright?

Well anyway, there is a new book out called I Want My MTV: The Uncensored Story of the Music Video Revolution, and in it we get all sorts of juicy stories from the likes of Ann and Nancy Wilson (bestill my heart), Dee Snider, Lionel Richie, and, yes, Limahl, who, in a preview of the book up on Pitchfork, has this to say about his personal experience with video making:

I'm going to tell you something, but I'm not going to name names. In one of my solo videos, the director came to my hotel while I was in Sydney, to discuss the video, and we ended up having sex. There was kissing and it was quite passionate. We both ejaculated. He was a famous director and he was considered very important. I was thinking, Oh my God, I'm having sex with him. I mean, at that point I was pretty famous all over the world.

Of course, when he was directing me on the set with lots of people around, there was a twinkle in his eye, and in mine, because we knew what had happened a few nights before. The video was great.

Gross, Limahl. Gross. You just used the word ejaculate, ugh. I can count on zero hands the number of people who want that from you, Limahl. No one is interested, unless this director's name is Eli Roth, in which case everyone is interested but would rather just hear the story from him, thanks.

I'm in a Glossy Gay Mag!

noreply@blogger.com (Tim Anderson) — Fri, 04 Nov 2011 17:42:00 +0000

Y'all, Tune in Tokyo is reviewed in the #1 gay magazine in all the land, Instinct, and they call it "occasionally hilarious"! Occasionally, always--these words mean pretty much the same thing, yes? Anyway, the November "Leading Men" issue is on stands now, so I'm on my way to the Barnes and Noble now to pick up several hundred copies to paper my bedroom with. See the review below: