Seeking Diligence

Yeah it's Like That....

noreply@blogger.com (Thankfulheart) — Tue, 30 Jun 2015 04:38:00 +0000

Yeah, it's like that.
One day life makes some sense then you blink and it sends your whole world adrift. Sometimes even being obedient can subject us to gut wrenching pain. I see now why God is called the "Anchor to Our Soul" because without the the gravitational pull of His love and mercy on my soul I would be lost right now.

But I'm not lost~I just have no idea where I'm headed :) Wouldn't it be wonderful if God was like MapQuest? I could type my coordinates (or questions) into 'GodQuest' and a little map with step by step directions would pop up on the screen? "Ahha" I would say,"Now this all makes sense!"

Blessings,
Thankfulheart

The Club

noreply@blogger.com (Thankfulheart) — Wed, 10 Jun 2015 05:59:00 +0000

I have heard the term "club" used this past year by other parents that have lost children. I suppose in some ways it is- but not a club you join. If membership were optional, it wouldn't be desired. You wouldn't invite your staunchest enemies to join much less someone you love. This club seeks you out and you have no choice but accept the lifetime membership. Your dues have been paid, there is no escape clause, no loopholes, no expiration date.
My best comfort has been from eye contact with other members of the "club". They can see into my very soul. Their hug, like a secret handshake in a fraternity that conveys and understanding no words can express. Their hand on my shoulder radiates healing into places deep.
For all my fellow club members thank you for sharing what I couldn't carry alone. My thoughts and prayers are with you tonight.
Thank you EVERYONE that has come along side of my family.

Grief shared is lessened and joy shared is multiplied.
Robert David Rodeen
April 25, 1984 *and all the memories in between* June 11,2014
Thanks for the Memories

aka Thankfulheart

ASK

noreply@blogger.com (Thankfulheart) — Wed, 23 Jul 2014 04:54:00 +0000

I haven't blogged much lately-without excuse- except to say I have been exhausted body, soul and spirit

I have been thinking about the acronym A.S.K., Ask, Seek, Knock.

What is forming a groove in my brain is the complexity of these three "simple" words.

Honestly, I don't know what to ask most of the time. My human understanding, my natural bent towards selfishness and my limited ability to stay focused...SQUIRREL!....interfere with the type of "asking" I know Jesus is talking about.

In a renewed and profound way I am beginning to understand that asking is the key. So my prayer these last few days has been "Rip the veil off Lord!" "Show me what to ask, show me how to ask, and when to ask because if' as you said, "I have not because I ask not." then I want, I need, to understand more fully this mystery of petition. "

All I know right now is asking is a key component to a viable prayer life -a viable life in general-that stays connected to its source of power and moves with purpose. Knowing how to ask means living a life of expectancy- waiting anxiously to hear God's next whisper.

Knowing when to ask means I can have peace especially during those seasons when life is exceedingly painful. I can have the confidence that there is a plan for my life and the specific unfolding of that plan is perfectly timed. Like they say in show business," Timing is everything."

Blessings,

Thankfulheart

Baby Steps

noreply@blogger.com (Thankfulheart) — Tue, 22 Feb 2011 08:48:00 +0000

There have been a lot of changes in my life lately. These are not changes that were planned for by any means and most definitely not changes were looked forward too. But often times changes are cast upon us and it seems we have no choice at all. Thankfully we are not just blown about by the winds of life. There is a divine plan for my life and yours. We may not be able to control life but we do have control over is our response to these bumps and bruises that happen along the way as we try navigate through life.
Recently I had the "opportunity" :) to spend the morning at the Department of Human Services. For me this was a devastating and humiliating experience, a stark reminder to me that my life was not in a place I wanted it to be. It was a reminder that someone in my life had made poor choices and now my security and the security of my children in jeopardy. My faith was being tested.
I had a good cry (Okay more than one cry.) about these turn of events. I mean I had the Waa waa's so bad you would have thought I was dying. In a way I suppose was. My stupid (Yes kids, I said stupid!) pride was again on the alter and it hurt.
After all "I" was at the welfare office...PLEASE! Me?The welfare office was not for people like me.
I had a hundred and one reasons why I shouldn't be there. I looked around through guarded eyes. There were homeless people there and people that smelled funny and people that acted funny. There were people with prison tatts all over their bodies including their eyelids,there were wild children with disconnected parents, jaded employees, and...and...and...."Oh Toto, we're not in Kansas any more! " "Assuredly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God as a little child will by no means enter it."
The only ones that seemed to be enjoying this little adventure were my two precious grand babies. They were oblivious to my pain and embarrassment. They liked the man that smelled funny. They traded smiles with him. They didn't care if he lived in Beverly Hills or a cardboard box. They didn't seem to notice the man with tattoos on his eyelids and the wild children were an endless source of amusement to them.
So what was my problem? You see it really was my problem. My pride had drawn some insidious internal dividing line, like the lines you see on maps that aren't really there.
Perhaps some of "them" had made some bad choices that ended them in this waiting area for desperate people. Maybe "they" had lost a loved one or a job. Aren't most of us a paycheck or two away from losing everything? Perhaps they had worked hard all of their lives but had a son or daughter that good hooked on drugs and now they had the to assume the responsibility of raising grand children or great grandchildren.
I suppose if I could have thrown off my self pity for two minutes together I could have connected with some of them. If my better than attitude would have been left outside I could have seen with Christ's eyes for just a moment.
"...whoever does not receive the kingdom of God as a little child..."
Oh how grown up my heart had gotten! From my place on the map it was okay to cross the line to help others or befriend the down and out as long as I was able to cross back over into my safe place. You see I had security. I had a warm home, a dependable car and a steady paycheck.
It feels good to help others BUT is it truly loving them? Poverty can be a great equalizer. Strip away the pretense and you'll find people are all pretty much the same.
Humanity-that is what the God Man was so irresistibly drawn to. He loved broken people. How often had I read "and He had compassion..." Where was my compassion that day? Why did it have to take having everything stripped away for me to see the truth that was in my own heart?
I wasn't seeing others with the precious eyes of Yeshua! I was the rich young ruler who couldn't truly follow Yeshua because he couldn't walk away from his earthly good! I was the brother to the prodigal that couldn't overlook the stench of pigs.
Oh, Heavenly Father forgive me for closing my heart to the many opportunities you provide for me everyday to love the way you do. Thank you for your precious
Holy Spirit that desires truth in our inward parts. Open my heart...I want to be a baby :)
Blessings,

Night Watches

noreply@blogger.com (Thankfulheart) — Wed, 21 Jul 2010 14:29:00 +0000
I woke up from a dead sleep the other night. I felt God wanted me to pray. There was nothing in particular bothering me. (Because it was about me I am ashamed to admit!) I rolled over and went back to sleep only to be awakened again a short time later. Being the spiritual person I am ~I again wanted to go back to sleep.
"It's an invitation" the Spirit whispered. So I went to my knees and the reward was mine :)

The Lord had me praying for people very far away. I couldn't see their faces but someone was crying out to God and He had invited me to join with them in prayer. I sensed the urgency of their need as the Spirit again spoke "They are fighting for (or over) water." In my mind I saw the dryness of the land.

I take water for granted. I turn on a faucet and water shows up right on schedule. But what if there was no water? Not just at the faucet, what if there was no water for miles. What if when you did find water it was dirty and contaminated. What if your cup held death instead of life.
Water will not only be a tangible reminder to pray those who struggle for every drop of the life giving liquid. But also a reminder that God prompts us to pray for a reason. Accept the invitation!

Blessings,

Thankfulheart

After posting this I went on line to see if there was a more tangible way to help.
http://www.waterwellsforafrica.com/theneed.html

Complaint Department

noreply@blogger.com (Thankfulheart) — Tue, 13 Jul 2010 06:40:00 +0000
WOW! Reading through the bible in 90 days is almost too fast to go through the Word. There are so many treasures and I want to dig them all up and have a look but there just isn't time. Occasionally a segment of scripture will jump out at you, almost as if it were electrified in some way and you have to stop and visit there for a while because you know you have stumbled upon something that's meant for your heart and not just for your eyes. Exodus 16:7&8 was that little chunk of wisdom that needed to soak down into my heart this week.
..."for the LORD hears your complaints which you make against Him. And what are we? Your complaints are not against us but against the LORD.”

ALL of those little complaints I harbor against the slow waitress, the thoughtless driver, the cranky child in the theatre, the rude person at the grocery store -verbalized or not - those complaints are really complaints against God! God sovereignly placed each of those people in my life for His purpose.
His purpose is to produce good fruit in my spirit and each of those people (and circumstances) was strategically placed along my path by a loving God to produce a bumper crop of love, joy, peace, long -suffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,gentleness & self-control in my life. Did I mention long-suffering and self-control?

Scripture is always an accurate mirror reflecting the true condition of our hearts. Our complaints against others (especially God's elect) truly are complaints against God! What I need to remember and what the Children of Israel tended to forget was that giving into the weakness of the flesh to complain against others travels directly to the ears of God! That to me is a very sobering thought!
Blessings,

El Roi

noreply@blogger.com (Thankfulheart) — Tue, 06 Jul 2010 02:13:00 +0000
Today was the first day of the Reading Through the Bible in 90 Days Challenge. These first 16 chapters of Genesis reminded me of the thoughtful blueprint for creation that starts at Genesis 1:1 and reveals the relational nature of God as He lovingly creates a habitation for Adam and Eve; beautiful garden not just for them to enjoy and care for but a place for The LORD of all creation to walk in and visit along with the couple of His creation.
As I finished up my daily reading -chapter sixteen grabbed my heart. The story of the outcast, unwanted Haggar touched me so deeply. I found it easy to relate to this woman who wondered at times if God really saw her. She gave this name to the LORD who spoke to her: "You are the God who sees me," for she said "I have now seen". The One Who Sees Me (Genesis 16:13)
.Haggar had met El Roi at the point of her greatest need and over the past couple of months I too have been touched deeply by the knowledge that God sees me and hears my voice at the point of my greatest need. He is El Roi-the God Who Sees Me.
Blessings

Little Things

noreply@blogger.com (Thankfulheart) — Thu, 15 Apr 2010 08:27:00 +0000
Then Jesus asked, "What is the kingdom of God like? What shall I compare it to? It is like a mustard seed, which a man took and planted in his garden. It grew and became a tree, and the birds of the air perched in its branches."
Little things really are important. The little things we do can can make a big difference in the lives of others. What small thing can I do today to bless someone else?
Blessings,

Doctor !Doctor!

noreply@blogger.com (Thankfulheart) — Mon, 12 Apr 2010 15:44:00 +0000
How often I am the little girl who climbs up on my Daddy's lap. The last few days have been "Daddy's lap" days for me.
I have been struggling for some time with discouragement. I have had no joy in my life and prayer has been difficult for me.
When we are sick we often have symptoms that prompt us to go to the doctor. The doctor asks us about the symptoms we are experiencing but he understands that symptoms are not the problem. The symptoms are clues that help the doctor to diagnose the underlying ailment.
"My symptoms Doctor, are that I am not happy and I have no joy. I am finding it hard to pray and when I do it seems my prayers are so self-centered. Doctor, I feel like I'm just going through the motions. What is my problem?"
Thankfully my Daddy is a doctor and a very good one at that. His answers are always the right ones but not what I want to hear at times.
" Child, I have promised you joy. It's right here if you want it, you know that. I love you. I have never withheld any good thing from you. Perhaps you feel you are entitled to feel the way you do? You can hang on to those feelings if you'd like to. If you would you rather wear the apron of a martyr or the bandages of the wounded than this beautiful crown of joy that choice will always be yours to make. I'll wait right here.
I have to wonder though if you have any idea how much I would like to see you walk in joy?
Let me ask you a question Child, be honest now, do you really want this gift I am offering you? It is yours, but you have to want it enough to reach out and take it. I have so much more for you too, you have no idea what is waiting here and now! Will open you open your heart and receive? Be courageous Little One and see what the mighty arm of God can do!"
Blessings!

I Got Me a New Attitude!

noreply@blogger.com (Thankfulheart) — Mon, 29 Mar 2010 18:31:00 +0000
Easter for me this year is bittersweet because I so vividly remember where I was this time last year. Passion week last year found me at an all time low and yet God visited me in a way most miraculous.
I have at times set my focus on the circumstances of life letting my own emotions drag me down instead of believing that God was actively at work in my life, even when there was no outward evidence of it. Instead of adjusting the set of my emotional sails accordingly, I allowed myself to slip into despair, like a ship set a drift in a storm. The result was not only disastrous for me but brought others down with me.
I have since learned how destructive it is to let others control my behavior. As a mother and a professing Christian I need to keep a positive mindset. I am not talking about positive thinking for the sake of positive thinking either -but actually walking by faith -not by sight and passing off a tangible life skill to my children in the process!
As much as is possible I am resolved to keep my focus on the many blessings God has bestowed on me! I want to leave my children with the memory of a Philippians 4 mom. A mom who was strong enough to overcome the obstacles in life but who was gentle, gracious and kind. I want to teach my children how to love the roses of life without being mortally wounded by the thorns. .
We all encounter negative situations and negative people. I will however no longer allow myself to be weighed down by the negative mindset of others. Negative attitudes are very contagious and if I am not very careful I become a conduit that passes bad attitudes on to others!
Philippians 4: 4-8 is a Biblical mandate that tells me not only how to change, to be transformed by the renewing of my mind, but is insistent that I must change my mindset. It is my reasonable service, not contingent upon how I feel. I am to rejoice in the midst of my circumstances even when they are unpleasant. The only way I can possibly do this is to view my circumstances through the eyes of faith. We are not rejoicing in the circumstances so much as in the knowledge that Christ Jesus is the blessed controller of all things!
I am choosing this day by an act of my will to focus on what is true. Even if my circumstances look discouraging. I will rejoice in the Lord always. I will rejoice! I will let my gentleness be evident to all. Because the Lord is near. I will behave accordingly. I will not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, I will present my requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard my heart and my mind in Christ Jesus. Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable, excellent or praiseworthy—I will think about such things.
Blessings,

* Romans 12:1
* Phil. 4
* 1Timothy6:15

A Visit to Neverland

noreply@blogger.com (Thankfulheart) — Mon, 29 Mar 2010 04:10:00 +0000
I had decided to pay a visit to a dear friend of mine yesterday. She lives about an hour away. It was exactly what I needed to raise my spirit and renew my senses. It was as if all of nature was getting dressed in their Easter outfits and throwing on festive bonnets.
Assortments of wildflowers were in bloom along the highway. Golden poppies colored the sides of the hills and the valleys covered in lupines looked like lakes of purple water. Pockets of pink, purple and fuchia were splashed here and there like droplets fallen off the end of a giant paint brush. Even the scraggly old oak trees dressed up in a soft green for the occasion. Wild grasses-that in a few weeks would be dry and brown- moved gently to hushed song of the wind.

As I pulled off the main highway and headed into the hills the scenery began to change. The tips of the trees erupted with bright green as if they couldn't contain their excitement any longer about springtime. The creek gurgled along side the road and frogs croaked boastfully back and forth to each other.

Cattle of all sizes dotted the hillsides and gangly calves scooted back and forth across the road and a rabbit looked at me curiously from under the shadow of a bush. Not one of the creatures seemed in any hurry to get any where and their mood was contagious. By the time I reached my friends mountain home I was already feeling more upbeat and positive.

A felt like for a moment I was in another world. A slower paced world where it seemed if one would sit still for just a minute and listen they would hear the voice of God just as clearly they could hear the bullfrogs along the creek.

To be able to sit with my friend and catch up on life was good medicine. She showed me around her property and I met her menagerie of pets including a very vocal peacock that had claimed ownership of her patio and was as protective as any watchdog.

We had times of quiet and times of talking. We have been friends long enough that words are not necessary. Tears are allowed even expected at times. We don't try to fix each others problems we just offer each other a safe place to-be.

As I packed up to leave it was with some sadness. I would miss my friend. But the work God had been doing was becoming clear to me. It was one of those situations where you aware of something but you aren't quite ready to look it straight in the face. This was one of those times.
Sometimes having a quiet place to listen to your own hear or having a safe place to say things out loud can at times brings clarity to a troubled spirit.
Blessings,

Spiritual Defiance

noreply@blogger.com (Thankfulheart) — Fri, 26 Mar 2010 14:41:00 +0000
I read this quote on a friend,s Facebook page recently,
"Prayer is an act of spiritual defiance of what is, in response to what God has promised. The shape of the future will be determined by those who can survey all its possibilities and by faith grasp one as possible. History belongs to the intercessors, those who believe the future into being. " Walter Wink
Operating in the gift of intercessory prayer I found this quote powerful and enlightening and wanted to use it so I went on a bunny trail last night to find the author. The bunny trail led me to a blog that had several videos posted including this one by Sunder Krishnan called Pray Big and Pray Bold. http://vimeo.com/8467883
I wanted to take this statement apart and look at all of the ideas that the author has expressed. I needed to do this for my own sake knowing my prayer life has suffered tremendously this past year. I knew God wanted to open my understanding the minute I read this short paragraph because it was pregnant with spiritual truths God needed to remind me of! I had been stomach punched so often by the enemy over the past two years I am just now getting my equilibrium back.I don't want to feel like a prisioner ever again to defeated mindset.
"Two men look out the same prison bars; one sees mud and the other stars." Frederick Langbridge
"I became acquainted with those martyrs whose behavior in camp, whose suffering and death, bore witness to the fact that the last inner freedom cannot be lost."Viktor E. Frankl
"Prayer is an act of spiritual defiance, " There is a rebelliousness in the human flesh that we are born with. As a kid I was the " I may be sittinging on the outside, but I'm standing on the inside" type of rebel. I was rebellious at heart but not confident in my convictions. Sort of a rebel without a cause until God really got ahold of me.
But Mr. Wink goes on to say that "Prayer is an act of spiritual defiance "in response to what God has promised." How do I know, how do you know what God has promised? In a word the answer to that question is the Bible. "God's word is God's will." There are times God has spoken to me mightily and personally from his word, there are times He has whispered something directly to my spirit but NEVER has he contradicted his word. God's promise are sure. God cannot lie, there is no darkness in Him at all. Scripture tells us Satan is the author of ALL lies, he has always been a liar and will always be a liar. Anything God tell us through His word is...yes and amen! We can go to our grave knowing God will NEVER leave us or forsake us. We can move forward in the promises of God with full confidence that what He started in us He will complete.We cannot allow the enemy to discourage us or cast a shadow on the character of God!
"The shape of the future will be determined by those who can survey the all its possibilities." Proverbs tells us that "where there is no vision, the people perish." God's people and intercessors in particular have to be people of vision. IF we set our focus on the things of earth and not the things of heaven we will at one point or another succumb to a depressed mind set! We loose our vision.
You cannot tailor make the situations in life, but you can tailor make the attitudes to fit those situations before they arise. Zig Ziglar
We cannot make the mistake of thinking of God like a super human. God is God and cannot be locked into a box. Don't make the mistake of believing that God will work within our limited expectations! Ask God to give you renewed vision. Ask Him to open your understanding to see beyond the walls of what you can see with your eyes! "and by FAITH grasp one as possible."
As God gives you vision hold on to it! I cannot tell you the number of promises, personal promises God has given me for the future. None of them line up with the circumstances of the present but I have grasped the vision and it sustains me through the tough stuff of life!
"History belongs to the intercessors, those who believe the future into being." I DO believe prayer makes all the difference. I believe the enemy's sole purpose in discouraging us is to cause us to release our hold on the vision God has given us and to make us despondent enough to quit praying. If he cannot keep us from salvation he wants to make us ineffectual as a role as Spiritually defiant men and women that storm the gates of hell and take back the things the Strongman has stolen from us.
Ask God for vision, BIG VISION. Ask Him to open up your understanding to ALL He has purposed for your life! Ask Him to give you the vision to see beyond the circumstances of life and show you how to see the spiritual amidst the physical, the divine amidst the mundane. Defy what is- and pray beyond what you can see with your human eyes! See the future through God's eyes! History is in the hands of the intercessors!
Blessings,

Trust

noreply@blogger.com (Thankfulheart) — Fri, 26 Mar 2010 05:39:00 +0000

I don't neccessarily write this blog for others. It is really a place for me to put my thoughts together and cement certain things in my own mind. Because it is public I know it is read by others.

Trust~confidence; a reliance or resting of the mind on the integrity, veracity, justice, friendship or other sound principle of another person.

While trust in the Lord has been the lesson learned my teachers have been other people. God has brought the most amazing people into my life the last couple of years. People that have taught me to love and to trust.

Feeling Like Job

noreply@blogger.com (Thankfulheart) — Sun, 21 Mar 2010 05:20:00 +0000
I'm having a rough night tonight and it's probably not the best time to be putting thoughts down in cyberspace. Truthfully I'm not real sure what my thoughts or feelings are right now. I'm all sort of jumbled up inside.
On top of jumbled up feelings I've had this feeling of tiredness, it is deeper than the flesh, and deeper still than the emotions. No matter what I do I can't seem to shake it off. I think I am battle weary and I just don't seem to have any fight left.
A friend told me I sounded depressed. I'm not depressed. I do have hope. I know what it feels like to loose hope and I never, ever, want to be in that place again! I will admit to this, I desperately need a healing touch from the LORD.
I know when I pray God is faothful to answer and His answers are "Yes" and "Amen."
Since I've been feeling a little like Job lately , I know I can take comfort in his words, "Naked I came from my mother's womb, And naked shall I return there. The LORD gave, and the LORD has taken away; Blessed be the name of the LORD."
Blessings,

Windows

noreply@blogger.com (Thankfulheart) — Wed, 17 Mar 2010 19:02:00 +0000
I heard a saying that I believe was originally from a book by Randy Alcorn. It said in effect (paraphrased by yours truly) that when we look around at the ugliness of life: violence, oppression, hatred, incest, murder, cancer, heartaches of all sorts it is like looking through a small window into hell.
Conversely to experience the beauty of life music and laughter, love, friendships, joy, charity and kindness are like looking through a small window into heaven.
Something to think on. Blessings,

I Am Undone

noreply@blogger.com (Thankfulheart) — Wed, 17 Mar 2010 17:38:00 +0000
Then said I, Woe [is] me! for I am undone; because I [am] a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips: for mine eyes have seen the King, the LORD of hosts.
Then flew one of the seraphims unto me, having a live coal in his hand, [which] he had taken with the tongs from off the altar:
And he laid [it] upon my mouth, and said, Lo, this hath touched thy lips; and thine iniquity is taken away, and thy sin purged.
Also I heard the voice of the Lord, saying, Whom shall I send, and who will go for us? Then said I, Here [am] I; send me.
And he said, Go, and tell this people, Hear ye indeed, but understand not; and see ye indeed, but perceive not.

These words from Isaiah's sixth chapter were what I woke up to this morning. It was if Isaiah was speaking to me. I am not sure how these verses are going to play out in my life but I know that when God speaks, He moves.

Last year he spoke to me from 2 Kings "Thus says the LORD: 'Set your house in order... though at he time these words didn't make sense except in the context of the scriptures and Isaiah's admonition to King Hezikiah and yet there was an urgency in them SET YOU HOUSE IN ORDER! I remembered also what a dear friend taught me "When God speaks to you from His word you stay right there in that portion of scripture and listen."

I began to set about the task of setting things in order (and am still about the task sense the Lord has not said to stop) in all areas of life. This has been a huge undertaking for me. The Lord knew what was headed our way and I can see why the urgency was needed. Disaster was avoided in this case as a direct result of my obedience to God speaking from his word to my heart! This is only one of many examples I could give of God going before me and making a way where there seemed to be no way.

God speaks through His living word today if we will listen to the inward prompting of the Holy Spirit. The word of God is like a schematic diagram, *"a drawing intended to explain how something works, a drawing showing the relation between the parts" Should we not be applying it to our lives and relationships in a practical way?

Isaiah goes on to say "Make the heart of this people dull, ( King James says "fat.") And their ears heavy, And shut their eyes; Lest they see with their eyes, And hear with their ears, And understand with their heart, And return and be healed."

I wonder how often my ears to heavy to hear that still small voice. Or my heart has been to dull to understand what God was saying? God speaks and then He moves. Are we listening? Am I?
Yeshua Adonai, prepare my heart for this new work you are doing. Make me clean in your sight and willing to go where you send me. Cause my heart to be sharp to understand and yet soft and pliable in your hands. Make my ears light to hear your softest whisper. Father God, don't let anything take root in my heart that can choke out the work of your Spirit in my life. Make me bold in prayer and wise in speech. Amen.

A Slave to Wrong Thinking

noreply@blogger.com (Thankfulheart) — Thu, 11 Feb 2010 23:59:00 +0000
Mother Teresa said "Work without love is slavery." How often I make myself a martyr by my own poor attitude! I find myself grumbling at times over situations that are entirely of my own creation.
Perhaps it is my lack of planning or dealing with the results of poor child training. Often it is because I have become absorbed in my own thoughts and missed opportunities to turn events of the day into learning moments.
Father change my heart and make the daily tasks of my life and outpouring of your love into the people in my life. Help me to see beyond my own pain to ease the pain of others. I don't want to be a self made slave but a bondservant to Jesus.
Blessings,

Remembered Moments

noreply@blogger.com (Thankfulheart) — Tue, 22 Dec 2009 02:48:00 +0000
Life I am told is remembered in moments. I suppose there is truth in that. It would explain why children raised in the same household often have different memories. That would certainly be the case where my brothers and I were concerned. This year is closing quickly. As I look back those remembered moments flicker through my mind like an old reel to reel movie.

I have been considering trying to sketch some of the great women in the Bible. I doubt I could do justice to any of them. Each of them is so poignant in their humanity as they tried to live out their faith with dignity.

As God writes out the story of my life daily I wonder, if it were held up against the snapshots from the lives of these women of faith, how it would compare. I suppose small trials produce small faith. Women like Hannah,Abigail and Ruth, Sarah, Leah and Rachel, Lydia, Eunice and the Mary's all faced giant obstacles to their faith.

My faith has grown to be sure. Each test this past year has been like an endless torrent of waves that I have barely been able to rise above. Truthfully at times it has been only the knowledge that the eyes of my children are upon me that has kept me going. Through it all God has been faithful always whispering in my ear " I am here Child." Oh how I have needed those four little words!

David said his sin was always before him. I know intimately that familiarity with my human nature and my failings. And yet David was also called "A man after God's own heart." I wonder...could the same be said about me?

Each heart knows its own sorrow Scripture tells us. My heart is no exception. Father help me to see beyond myself, beyond my own pain to reach out to others. I have touched the hem of your robe, you have healed me, teach me to put on the garment of praise. The only cure for what ails me is more of You and less, much less of me.
Blessings,

The Messy Side of Perfection

noreply@blogger.com (Thankfulheart) — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 10:45:00 +0000
We've been reading through Proverbs as a congregation. Have you ever wondered what it would be like to have the wisdom of Solomon? There was so much potential in Solomon. Yet with all of his vast knowledge he managed to make many foolish choices.If Solomon was able to get so sideways you might wonder what those of us with normal human insight can do to avoid the pitfalls he stumbled in to.
I have been mulling many things over in my mind lately and I know, that I know, that I know, human understanding will not give me the tools I need to figure out some of these puzzles! God's word is the only tool that holds the key.
Sometimes life seems random but I know in reality it is because I am looking at the tapestry of life from the underside. I see shapes and strings but the artist is on the other side and He holds the needle. As He weaves the threads in and out a thing of beauty is created. One day I will sit on the other side of the embroidery hoop with the Father and gaze on that finished work of art. I will be that work of art!
Blessings,

Life

noreply@blogger.com (Thankfulheart) — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 18:18:00 +0000

“In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.” - Albert Einstein
Yeshua Adonai, thank you for yet another opportunity :) Blessings,

Friends

noreply@blogger.com (Thankfulheart) — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 02:20:00 +0000
Packing up the dreams God planted in the fertile soil of you. I can't believe the hopes He's granted means a chapter of your life is through. But we'll keep you close as always it won't even seem you've gone 'cause our hearts in big and small ways will keep the love that keeps us strong.

And friends are friends forever if the Lord's the Lord of them. And a friend will not say never 'cause the welcome will not end. Though it's hard to let you go in the Father's hands we know that a lifetime's not too long to live as friends.

And with the faith and love God's given, springing from the hope we know. We will pray the joy you live in. Is the strength that now you show. We'll keep you close as always. It won't even seem you've gone 'Cause our hearts in big and small ways will keep the love that keeps us strong.

And friends are friends foreverIf the Lord's the Lord of them. And a friend will not say never 'cause the welcome will not end. Though it's hard to let you go. In the Father's hands we know. That a lifetime's not too long to live as friends. And friends are friends forever if the Lord's the Lord of themAnd a friend will not say never 'cause the welcome will not end though it's hard to let you go. In the Father's hands we know that a lifetimes not too long to live as friends...No a lifetime's not too long to live as friends.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IbPKaIozS-c

Things caught up with me this morning. I am so thankful to my Lord, my kids who have been wonderful and my FRIENDs that have helped "strengthen my hands" as the Word says.

Blessings,

What I Wanted to Say Was...

noreply@blogger.com (Thankfulheart) — Sun, 27 Sep 2009 05:12:00 +0000
I am frustrated tonight. I just spent 45 minutes talking to someone that I love and admire very much but, (big but here...) BUT every time I try to talk to her I feel like a babbling idiot. I don't know why, she is very kind. She is outspoken in an honest approachable way and intelligent in a common sense way. Truthfully I believe we ~at the core agree on many things but I just can't seem to express myself very well. I feel like the teacher in the old Peanuts cartoons. My mind knows what it wants to say but my words come out garbled.
We talked about prejudice and hatred, along with the education of our children. On the subject of prejudice; I am. I think we all are truthfully.
Though race lines are not an issue for me I think we all have preconceived notions about other people on some level. Though it may not be of the racial variety of prejudice, we may view people that are obese with less regard than those who are slim, or intelligent people may be held in higher esteem than those we regard as ignorant. Perhaps your preconceived ideas influence how you view the wealthy, the unattractive, the powerful, the aged or the disabled.
I told this friend I didn't think we would ever live in a world that is color-blind or without hatred. Personally I strive for that in my own life. God doesn't look on the outside but looks on the heart. As I endeavor to be an imitator of Christ I must learn to do that as much as humanly possible. It seems to me the root of predudice is arrogance more than ignorance. Why is it we feel the need to be "better than" on some level?
Didin't Jesus take last place in everything? He knew preudice intimately. He wore the title of bastard and was hated from day one. Scripture doesn't say much about this man we call Messiah as a little guy but that was a horrible label for a small boy to wear! We also know from the word he understood well the pain of being on the recieving end of predudice. We are told he was aquainted with grief, he was an ugly man, he was a man of sorrows, he was despised and rejected.
Jeremiah 17:1 reminds us that "The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked; Who can know it? I have my own heart issues to deal with. I have my own desperately wicked heart to contend with and at times that fact makes it hard to see past the end of my own proboscis.
My friend and I discussed among other things whether public school policies help educate children in the area of relating to others in overcoming prejudices born of ignorance. Personally, I feel parents are mandated by God to be the instructors of their own children in the area of manners and morals and not the public (or private for that matter) schools. I believe, because so many parents fail to do that well, including yours truly at times, our lack of responsibility in the area of instructing our children has been thrust upon the schools.
To make a long story longer...what I wanted to say to my friend was I am trying as best I can to teach my own children to be thoughtful , kind, caring children (and adults) who will love others even when they don't understand them. Some days I can't seem to accomplish this on the small scale in my own home.
What I wanted to say was in some small way I want to make a big impact on my corner of the world by my actions. Though most days, my corner of the world is a house full of noisy kids and a sink full of dirty dishes.
What I wanted to say was I want more than anything to love the LORD my God with all my heart, with all my soul, with all my strength, and with all my mind. I want to love my neighbor as myself and teach my children to do the same. Some days I feel like my heart and soul are divided, I am at the end of my strength and along the way I lost my mind!
What I wanted to say is what we need is not a program but as a lifestyle of Christlike compassion that can erase the lines of prejudice we have drawn on our world.
What I ended up saying was more like "Blah blah blha blah bla, bla blah, blah." Ugh!
Blessings,

What to Title This Post?

noreply@blogger.com (Thankfulheart) — Fri, 25 Sep 2009 06:03:00 +0000
I wasn't quite sure what to title this post. I am the queen of random thoughts but lately my thoughts have been beyond random, they have been all over the globe.
My dear friend had a biopsy today. She actually had two biopsies and her sweet sister was on the other side of town having a biopsy at the same time!
This blog is one of the places I "talk." Don't get me wrong, I talk, sometimes I talk too much, but I'm not always on top of my feelings. Often times what I talk about may have nothing at all to do with what I'm feeling. I think it's a family trait, my dad does the same thing but unlike my dad, I'm not political.
I regularly get accused of being too guarded. I don't see myself as guarded. The truth is like many of you, I have few people in my inner circle. Those few people see my true heart.
This friend is one of those in my inner circle. To say we are an odd set of friends would be one of those understatements you hear so much about! We have nothing in common and everything in common.
We are polar opposites in many ways and yet so alike it is scarey. We are so connected to each other I would do anything for her. She is like my mom and I am her "Theresita."
We hit it off immediately and have been friends ever since. We have gone through some difficult things together and some heartbreaking things. We have also had many times together when we have laughed so hard we have cried. We have those little inside jokes girlfriends do and we encourage and uplift each other when life seems to kick like a mule.
Mostly when we're together we talk...and talk...and talk. Sometimes we talk about absolutely nothing; more often than not we talk about our mutual love for the Lord. It is that love for God that is the super glue that holds us together. It is that love that bridges the differences that could so easily divide us.
I won't lie. The whole idea of cancer scares me. It is not something you want to see anyone walk through and definitely not either of these sisters that I love so dearly. The thought that there could be anything on a mammogram to concern the doctor enough to order a biopsy is enough to frighten me.
I am in that place of surrender knowing that God alone knows the future and holds both these dear friends in His hands. I will not cease to ask, to seek, and to knock, believing what Jeremiah 29:11 says for them both!
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Blessings,

Quiet Place

noreply@blogger.com (Thankfulheart) — Sun, 06 Sep 2009 04:25:00 +0000
Do you have a quiet place?
It seems to me that it is very difficult to find a place that is quiet. Life has so many voices. There are people voices, appliance voices, animal voices, media voices, and street voices all calling to me and intruding on the voices that are already screaming in my head.
I try to find quiet pieces of time here and there when I can quiet my heart and mind before God. Sometimes that is not enough, especially when those voices of life become like a steamroller headed straight for me!
At times it seems the only way I can truly find a quiet place is to get away for a little while. (To move out of the way of the steam roller if you will.) The other night I did just that. I drove out to the edge of town and watched as the sun set in a pool of pink and red and orange. I watched as row after row of grapevines became gnarly, tangled, silhouettes against these desert colored sky. In the distance a line of black, tall, palm trees looked like a picture post card from some tropical paradise.
I watched and waited as the stars began to peek out of the growing blackness. The smell of dust, drying grasses, and hay bales filled my nostrils.
The mosquitoes buzzed my ears and face, occasionally tasting my sweaty skin as I leaned against my hot car. Even though the sun had long since set I could still feel the waves of heat coming up off the ground.
From my vantage point could see the oncoming headlights of the traffic on the Ridge Route like a string of diamonds twinkling on a piece of black velvet. I listened as an occasional owl screeched through the black night and occasionally farm dogs barked from the distance.
As I walked back and forth stirring up the chalk like dust and covering my feet in the gray powder, I prayed and cried out to God. What I had been looking for and what I found was stillness. I had found that much needed 'quiet place' where the voice of God could be heard above and not drowned out by every other thing that demanded my attention.
For a moment as I looked up into the night sky time seemed to stand still. For a moment I was able to be still and know the He is God.
"Duties do not clash any more than do the stars...if we are inwardly quiet we shall see the purposed sequence and take them one by one. An angel is never sent on more than more than one errand at a time." Amy Carmichael
Blessings,

Angel Visits

noreply@blogger.com (Thankfulheart) — Wed, 02 Sep 2009 06:14:00 +0000
Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.
Is it possible for a believer to get to the point that they are without hope? I believe so. I am convinced that any time we allow our focus to stray to the left or the right there are any number of things that can happen to our thought process.
There are circumstances in life sometimes that bump us so hard we can become disoriented. God is compassionate with His children and has encouraged me many times. Occasionally in scripture the words strengthened and encouraged are used interchangeably. With good reason, when we are encouraged we are renewed in our spirit and that encourages us!
The day before Easter I was so discouraged I had lost hope. I don't usually get to that point but on this day I was in a very dark place indeed.
I remember crying out to God. Telling Him "I NEED a Resurrection miracle." "I NEED the shadow of the cross to fall on me and renew my strength!" I went to bed that night broken and spent from crying.
The next morning as I was getting ready for church my husband walked up behind me and with a odd tone in his voice said to me. " I heard somebody breathing on your side of the bed; and it wasn't you." The minute those words registered in my sleep deprived mind I knew...I knew in my heart that God had answered my prayer. "It was my angel." I said, as if angel visits were commonplace and he shouldn't have be surprised by it!
Angel visits are not commonplace. Though I believe we are surrounded by heavenly hosts all the time I do believe it is an unusual occurrence to see or hear one.
Now some of you may have issues with what I am sharing here and that's okay, but if anything I share here is a blessing to anyone then my ramblings of this sleep deprived woman are of great value indeed! I am convinced that God wants to comfort us and encourage us, that is why He sent the Comforter to us. The Spirit is here to comfort and encourage us, He enables us to do God's will and God's work.
We are to likewise encourage and comfort each other. AMEN.
God wants to move mightily in my life and yours too, and will if we let Him. I personally DO NOT want to settle for a mediocre Christian life. I want fire in my veins! All the pain and frustration of these past few months has made me hungry for a life of PASSIONATE FAITH!!!
Aren't you ready to break out of the box? Aren't you ready to see what God will do if you let go? I AM!
Blessings,