Self-Doctrines

Holiday Season- The best time in America.

2012-01-01T15:04:00.001-08:00

A tremendous, fun-filled season of festivals is coming to an end. I love this phase of the year which is so festive, partly because it’s one of the coldest months which brings warmth to everybody’s hearts. The warmth of this season is somewhat very contrasting to the cold and dry weather outside. A time to sit near the sparkling fireplace and have a mug full of coffee while catching up with family or friends or may be simply with a great book to read. Holidays were here and load of fun stacking up the air. Being in United States, this beautiful season of festival becomes even more special. It all starts with Halloween in October and culminates with the New Years’ Eve. However, in India festivals somehow never end. The woods are being saved even from New Year’s eve bonfire party for the eve of Makar Sankranti .

One thing in particular that I love about being in a Western country is that people work really hard from January through the year but with the onset of the winter during the last couple of months, people just get into a different mood altogether to welcome the holiday season. Shopping for friends and family, Indulgence and extravagance somehow seeps into the lives of the people who otherwise follow a modest lifestyle.

December sets in with lots of glitz and glamour – personally, it’s my favorite month of the year. I know it’s not only me but innumerous people out there who love December. I have grown up in North Eastern India where winter sets in after a very hot and humid summer which sometimes lasts till October. I loved winters since my childhood, short days and long nights… Evenings were cold and otiose, it’s the perfect time to snuggle inside a warm and cozy quilt with the family and enjoy watching television. While growing up we would often spend the cozy winter evening together as a family and my mom would make a quick trip to the kitchen and prepare some mouthwatering snacks or sometimes soups for me and my sister to enjoy. Those were the coziest days I had spent with my family.

December and winter are somehow so synonymous with Christmas. I guess this is the festival of humanity. I don’t know about anyone who does not like celebrating Christmas. Irrespective of religion or country, Christmas is for all. I have always loved this festival since my childhood.

Since I have moved to United States I love this time of the year even more. It’s so much fun really!!! It all starts from October after the colorful fall season which is spectacular on its own. Towards the end of October, we started decorating our house for Halloween which is an amazing festival. Typically, festive Halloween includes attending costume parties, decorating with pumpkins (carving pumpkins), playing pranks and visiting haunted attractions, etc.

Exactly after a month it was time for thanksgiving weekend. It has officially been an annual tradition since 1863, when, during the Civil war, President Abraham Lincoln proclaimed a national day of thanksgiving to be celebrated on 4^th Thursday of November. Thanksgiving is one of the major holidays of the year. Together with Christmas and the New Year, Thanksgiving is a part of the broader holiday season. And with my feminine instinct, which always craves for shopping. It was an apt time to splurge in big brands as everything you buy would come in almost half the original price. There were sales on every consumer good possible under the sun. There is a bout of unrestrained extravagance in the life suddenly. Sale on electronics items becomes a rave of the season. People stand in queue for hours together to get their hands on their favorite electronic gadgets in almost half the price. Supermarkets go crazy with people crowding everywhere. Entire America goes super extravagant that weekend. I too went on a shopping spree .Eventually; in such a situation splurging is inevitable. Well, technically the sale never ended after that. December came as a relaxed month for everyone. With the prominence of icy winter, all work places slowed down considerably. A long vacation with family and friends during this time is very common here in America. It’s the Christmas time and somehow one can smell that in the air.

Decorating houses and bringing in a Christmas tree added a special feel to the season. I baked a marshmallow chocolate cake for Christmas. Cakes, Cookies, Pies and Apple ciders are the taste of the season. Obviously, these traditions were endless when the world celebrated Christ’s birthday for 2011th year.

All said and done now that the New Year is here and once again we are to start another new journey with loads of optimism in our hearts. I always believe that New Year is a good time to have a new beginning. Cheers to the New Year and let’s not forget that it’s another chance for us to get it right.

Life's Infallible

2011-11-22T22:44:00.000-08:00

Failure to achieve something makes us ashen with grief and we feel as if life is finished and “I am an utter useless”. But is it really so? Does failure to achieve something indicates our incapability or insufficiency? Each of us has failed at some point in life, at times we have failed in reaching our personal goals and at times our professional goals have remained far from reach. Sometimes, simply not achieving what we have aspired makes us feel defeated. Why can’t we consider failure as just an event and not a person? I feel enthralled to remember Thomas Edison’s quote on Failure “I have not failed; I have just found 10,000 ways that won’t work”. Failure never means that I am a failure, it just means that I have not succeeded yet and there are a lot of scopes coming; so next time I know my moves better because I have learnt from my past failed attempt.

Oftentimes, we come across young people committing suicide because of love failures. Now this is a very common type of setback encountered by many. Well my question is- Is it really a failure? I would rather call it an experience. Some make a big deal about it while others chose to just forget and move on. But I am sure most of the folks have experienced incidences of this kind during late teens or early adulthood. But those who have ‘moved on’ have realized that things eventually fall in place and most of those people have found love again and are living a happy and satisfying life. However, those who went to an extent of killing themselves are the biggest losers. Perhaps, they are an ultimate failure. I have very close friends who made their aching heart a beautiful feeling and that inspired them to write beautiful poetry or create great music, in a way immortalizing that short love story which never reached its conclusion. Failure sometimes enlarges the spirit. You have to fall back upon humanity and god. I was watching this newly released Imtiaz Ali’s movie “Rockstar” by Ranbir Kapoor. Indeed, Ranbir is one of the most potent descendent of Prithvi Raj Kapoor according to me. He has much more substance than any other new generation Kapoor, which is evident from his subtle acting skills. Well, I was bringing in the reference of this film which is about this simple middle class Delhi guy who has a larger than life dream - of being a rockstar like Jim Morrison! But all he gets from his reluctant audience is ridicule and humiliation. He's at his wit's end, when he realizes that all musical stars, all artists in fact, have one thing in common. And that is tragedy. They all have tragic lives. They have all suffered painful heartbreaks to become what they are. Whereas, his own life is an oasis of peace. Unless he does something drastic, he will never become a rock star. That’s when he tries to woo a girl who is totally unreachable for a guy of his standards. All he wanted was to experience a heart break.

Well, this movie had a funny beginning. But life definitely gets a much deeper meaning when you have an unfulfilled desire of some sort. So, it won’t be completely wrong to say that failure makes you a stronger individual with deeper sense of life.

Actually speaking, there are no secrets to success , it’s the result of preparation, hard-work and learning from failure.

I would like to mention a small instance from my own life. While in the school I was very poor in my second language subject Hindi. In my 9^th standard final exams; all I scored in Hindi was 35 out of 100, which was not even a pass mark. I was not a bad student though, but Hindi was my proven weakness. Scoring good mark in Hindi was tough even for the brightest guy in the class, and on top of that I was not just miserable in that subject, I was incapable of scoring even the pass marks. Class 10^th final exams were fast approaching and my parents were worried that my score in Hindi will eventually pull my entire percentage down in the matriculation exams. And after that 35 in the last exam it was quite obvious. But as I said failure in one attempt makes you more focus and if you truly analyze it, you can figure out what did not work for you and as a result it prepares you to plan your moves so that you don’t repeat the same mistakes again. Like they say- “By failing to prepare, you are actually preparing to fail”. I was quite adamant this time, I wanted to succeed whatever it takes, I put my heart and soul in that subject. And with those special attempts I managed to secure the highest mark in Hindi that year which was 91. Now when I think retrospectively I feel if I had not scored that 35, I would have also not scored 91. This is because if like everyone else I would have had got 60 percent mark in my 9^th class exam; which was considered a good score especially when it comes to Hindi. I would not have put that extraordinary effort and that would have fetched me nothing more than another 60 % marks in that subject. But just because I failed once; I was extra careful and I had a proper planning in place to not repeat my mistakes. So, technically, failure is an opportunity to begin again more intelligently.

However, men who put effort to do something and then fail are infinitely better than those who don’t do anything and succeed just by luck. Because they don’t get the chance to refine themselves. Success and Failure both add dimensions to our lives. And Lastly, I can’t resist quoting J.K.Rowling, The creator of Harry Potter, from her speech at Harvard Commencement Address in 2008, She goes “It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well have not lived at all. In which case, you've failed by default”.

Ultimately, the decision lies with us- we have to decide for ourselves what constitutes failure, but the world is quite eager to give a set of criteria if you allow it to do so.

Kaleidoscopic Nature

2011-11-06T16:54:00.000-08:00

First snow of the Season(Photographed by Sudarshan)

Right now the outside temperature is -8 Degree Celsius and I am sitting in my bed, astounded at these snow clad trees and the pavements outside the window. How can it get so very white as if there is only one universal color- white? I could never imagine that white can look so beautiful. White is supposedly the symbol of peace and at this moment I can feel a spiritual peace just at a glance of this supra-mundane view outside. However, after those extravagant colors of fall, I find it hard to believe that all colors have vanished overnight and the canvas is white again. The changing fall foliage never fails to surprise and delight us. Indeed, it’s difficult to digest that the same scenery which was vivacious and charismatic only couple of days back is now serene and peacefully lying- all white.

Snow fall (Photographed by Sudarshan)

One interesting thing to observe the deciduous trees like Maple, Aspen and oaks which changes color once summer ends thus, making fall foliage so colorful. There is a series of chemical changes that makes this possible. Knowing the science behind this makes this even more interesting. To begin with; most of us know that the chemical called chlorophyll helps make photosynthesis happen. Chlorophyll is the green pigment that imparts green color to the trees.

As summer ends and autumn comes, the days get shorter and shorter. This is how these trees "know" to begin getting ready for winter. During winter, there is not enough light or water for photosynthesis hence these trees will rest, and live on the food they stored during the summer. They begin to shut down their food-making factories. The green chlorophyll disappears from the leaves. As the bright green fades away, we begin to see yellow and orange colors. Small amounts of these colors have been in the leaves all along. We just can't see them in the summer, because they are covered up by the green chlorophyll.

The bright reds and purples we see in leaves are made mostly in the fall. In some trees, like maples, glucose is trapped in the leaves after photosynthesis stops. Sunlight and the cool nights of autumn cause the leaves to turn this glucose into a red color pigment. The brown color of trees like oaks is made from wastes left in the leaves after the food factory shuts

Indepence Pass,CO(photographed by Sudarshan)

It is the combination of all these chemical changes results in the beautiful fall foliage making autumn the most colorful season of the year. One thing I particularly like after the dried leaves shed off and covers the pavements and the roads, and that’s the crackling uproar of those dried leaf while walking on them.

Eventually, this is the first time in my life I have witnessed a true riot of colors in Colorado this year. I visited Aspen with my family and we were bewildered to see those yellow Aspen trees miles after miles. Yellow was so pronounced that it appeared almost artificial. Aspen is the most photographed place in United States.

Aspen,CO,USA(photographer by Sudarshan)

I grew up in Assam when I have always thought that spring is the most beautiful season as that’s the time when I could see flowers after a very dry winter. Somehow that sweetness of summer and the kindness of winter mingle together to form the best possible combination for the flowers to bloom. So traditionally spring has always been envisaged to be associated with romance and falling in love. However, for me personally these were the months of hard work, examinations and lot of late night studies. After living is Colorado I have realized that autumn is the best season of the year at least in here, it’s refreshing and so very colorful.

Maroon Bells,CO,USA(photographed by Sudarshan)

Autumn is a fashion treat for the voguish folks, especially for those who love wearing colorful clothing; during fall those garish colors replace the pastel shades predominantly worn during summer. Fall fashion is all about stylish jackets and mid-calf or knee high boots. Boots offer a great fashion statement, be it a sued ones or sophisticated leather ones they are very much “in” during fall. Wear those chunky jewelries and team it up with your outfit to add that zing that matches up with the harlequin trees around. It offers a great way to welcome winter when you can hardly flaunt your silhouette wearing those light, flowing and colorful fabrics. Winter’s harshness asks for layers of clothing which can save you from hypothermia.

This year winter arrived earlier than normal. Before the fall could properly wind up; with trees ritualistically shedding all their dried leaves, snow fall started bringing down the temperatures below zero degrees right in the month of October. This is a little unusual as autumn succumbs to winter late October or early November every year.

Every time with these varieties of changes nature is trying hard to give that message that it’s worth to be flexible. Flexibility brings freshness in our lives with time and as we age. When the Mother Nature herself is not rigid and subjects herself to constant changes then, is it not a commonsense to be diligent enough to imbibe this in our own lives?

Kudos Mommies

2011-10-27T21:59:00.000-07:00

Kudos Mommies!!!

Photographed at Maroon Bells,CO,USA

This post is for all those friends of mine who have embraced motherhood recently and kept asking me about how do I manage to get time to write and follow my hobbies with my baby. Well, I must give this credit to my little princess who allows me to have a lot of “me time” everyday. One more thing that I can’t ignore is my family support. Even though I am living far away from my country, I still had my mom with me followed by my mother-in-law (Thanks to the American Consulate for approving their visas on time!!!!). Both these amazing ladies have helped me a lot through my tough times. One hand it is my mother who is also my best critic and has always helped me to remain on track and that keeps me grounded. She is a perfectionist by nature and an immensely creative woman. A very talented singer and a fine home maker whose standards exceed expectation always. On the other hand it’s my mother-in-law who is a depot of traditional values yet a very witty and an expert homemaker. She has always been there for me, whenever I have needed her. Her intellectuality is evident from her great adaptability and acceptance levels. As an avid reader since her childhood she can easily relate to different levels of diverse psychologies. Therefore, I had the support of these two outstanding women until now. Both these ladies with their superfine instincts managed to keep up with my peevishness at this crucial phase. Their unconditional love for their first granddaughter makes them by far the best babysitters that my baby can ever have.

Well, apart from using my mother’s and mother-in-law’s expertise, I have relied a lot on baby Center website and kept various parenting magazines handy which has helped me to manage my everyday life with my little one. Couple of things which I have learned reading various sources; and want to share them with everyone, these changes has made life a little easy for me. Certainly, worth giving it a try!!!

DISCIPLINE- We are all used to this word since our childhood but I have started being disciplined only after I have become a mother because that’s exactly when I have started craving for some exclusive time for myself,,, which I call “ME TIME”. The initial 2 months are difficult as your baby is still not adjusted to the outside world and have wired sleep patterns. But thereafter, it’s up to us to streamline their sleeping habits. I put my baby to sleep early in the evening sometimes she takes some extra time but definitely before 9 she is asleep. One should not allow late nights for babies and young children because they are highly adaptable; if you allow once or twice then it tends to become a habit for them. To ensure this, there are a few lifestyle adjustments you yourself will have to make like no late night outings, no dinner parties and restricting late night visitors, etc. After my baby sleeps I get close to 3 hours of “ME TIME”. So before winding up to bed I get ample time to cook, read or sit with my laptop, etc.

DELEGATE- It’s ok to take help from your partner when it comes to babysitting. I learned this from various journals and websites. Baby’s need to develop some amount of bonding with their Dad’s too. And there are some Daddy’s who really aspire to spend time with their little ones. One thing that I have noticed is when my husband is babysitting he is so occupied that he forgets to peep at his e- mails or read his book, which ensures a complete rest for him too, especially for an IT guy (like my husband) whose survival is at stake without having a pesky electronic gadget nearby. He would happily babysit when I go out for a walk or to the gym or sometimes for shopping to ensure I grab a proper “ME TIME” outside the house. When I have my mother or mother-in-law around, life is easy as I can take a break every day to chill out on my own or with a friend. It’s very important to not become obsessive with your baby; and should trust someone else also with the baby care, especially if you are a stay at home mommy. It’s frustrating otherwise and you tend to find everything around quite nettlesome.

At my current disposition, which is greatly uncertain; I long to get pampered, I long to have someone around, who understands me. I am aware that it’s an unusual state of mind which I sometime get into. Funnily, during my 6 week visit after the baby my doctor asked me to answer a questionnaire and from my answers she concluded that I am having mild postpartum depression. But I strongly denied that and I was right as I never felt depressed, only occasional episodes of mood swing would make me have a woebegone look on my face. This is normal to go through such a state of mind after having a baby. Conclusively, surviving 9 months of pregnancy and making it through the discomposure of labor and delivery; resulting in a sudden and tremendous shift in life, together with a huge hormonal surge culminates in a tumultuous state of being for a woman. I am sure my friends who have delivered recently would completely agree with me.

This phase is short-lived and it’s important to make it the most meaningful and memorable period of life. So, ask for help from your partner and family members, get good amount of rest and enjoy every bit of the new life which has emerged out of you. The little miracle lying next to you is precious and deserves to have a Joyful, Smart and Shinning mother and not an Exhausted, Wearied and Fatigued one.

Langsyne Dimapur

2011-10-18T22:12:00.000-07:00

As one of the small towns of North Eastern India, Dimapur’s location and geography makes it quite insignificant in the huge map of Indian subcontinent. Yet, for me this word itself brings nostalgia, reminds me my childhood and those people whom I have loved most in my life.

Indeed, I have a great connection to this small town of North East, Not only me and my sister but even my mother was also born in Dimapur and later, I found my husband also to be born in Dimapur. That itself makes this place a very special one for my family.

Further, my family’s contribution to its soil can’t be undermined by anyone; my father-in-law (Sri. S.R.Chakarabarty); who has served Nagaland Govt. all his life and worked as a very senior official in Nagaland State Transport (NST). My grandfather (Late Sri. Manik Bhattacharjee) has been one of the most famous social workers of Nagaland who was one of the founders of the first regional political party of Nagaland (NPC) in 70s and 80s, also he was the founder of many educational institutions in Dimapur. My Father (Sri. Niharendu Bhattacharjee) had his life’s first posting after joining SBI to Dimapur and served a crucial 10 years there; later, he served as a chairman of NRB (Nagaland Rural Bank) for 3 years. My maternal uncle (Sri. Manoj Bhattacharjee) an educationist who started his career as a lecturer of Zoology in Dimapur Science College. Currently, he is serving as the Principal of one of the most prominent Higher Secondary Schools of Dimapur (Pranab Vidyapith) which was founded by my grandfather in 1984. With his vast qualification he had lots of career opportunities in big cities outside Dimapur, but he chose to remain there and serve the people of his birth place. There are many other close relatives both from my family and my extended family who have worked all their lives in Dimapur. Therefore, my solid connection with Dimapur is unquestionable and makes me a Dimapurian by heart.

Growing up in Dimapur was very safe and therefore loads of fun unlike growing up in any big Indian metro city; which is increasingly unsafe especially for a girl. Growing up I have never heard of any cases of female Abduction, Molestation and Eve teasing, etc. I regularly accompanied my grandfather when he was visiting his Naga friends, colleagues and party workers. I clearly remember Mr. Vamojo, Mr. Chale KBchusa and Mr.Vijol Angami among many others who often visited my grandfather. Simplicity and True Christian values make Naga people very adorable for sure.

Eventually, I left Dimapur because of my Dad’s posting elsewhere and started hearing about the unwanted changes and prevailing disturbances in the society which was making lot of people to migrate. Obviously, this was a very disturbing scenario which made me very sad and concerned.

Currently, I live in a small town near Denver in USA with my husband and a 4 month old daughter and keep wondering how come this country is so developed. Where I live now is also a very small town like Dimapur but if I start telling the difference then the list will never end. Even Naga society is considerably western and follows Christianity like the American population here. Well, If Religion is making the difference then all the Christian states should have been most developed in India but sadly it’s the other way round most of the time. Therefore, we can safely conclude that it’s not the religion that matters, its humanity and the broader outlook towards life and society. Here, I would like to mention a small incident that has happened with me and my husband, here in America and this partially answers why this place is so developed.

It was the eve of Independence Day celebration on 4^th of July, only a couple of weeks after I delivered my baby. I wanted to go out to witness the one of its kind celebration near the Castle Rocks County in West of Denver. Left my baby at home with my mother, both I and my husband Sudarshan went out after a long time together wanting to spend some time with each other and enjoy the celebration. Everything was perfect that evening including the lovely climate and the wonderful fireworks for celebration.

Things suddenly went haywire when we heard a big bang from the road where we had parked the car. And to our surprise; it was OUR car which was hit by another SUV, completely smashing the cars bumper and the rear end. My husband did not know how to react, as we had never been to this situation and that too in a completely alien country. We were awestruck and our brains completely shut down; finally, it was the first time in both our lives when we bought an expensive car like Toyota Camry and we loved our car so much.

Immediately before we could call for any help, we saw many local people who came our way and told us that “we have seen the entire incident happening and it was purely a case of hit and run, and don’t hesitate to call us if you need any witness”. One very tall gentleman who was also enjoying the fireworks from the patio of his house from across the street came instantly and told us that he saw the SUV which hit our car and it was unethical to hit and run. He should have stopped and looked for any damages that were caused by the impact.

He took his cell phone out and called the police, informed about the accident and repeated the entire story. He waited till the police arrived and became our spokesperson. The Lady police officer apologized to us and in a very humble manner she spoke to my husband keeping in mind that we are foreigners in her nation and this incident certainly makes a wrong impression of her country and its people. She took an FIR and documented the statements given by the eye witnesses who noted the car number. She left the scene assuring us that Police would find out the culprit and that all the damages caused to us will be paid by the insurance company of the SUV driver. That tall gentle man stood by us till the entire procedure was over and gave us his phone number saying “please don’t hesitate to contact should you need any help”. He was with us on the street for around 3 hours till 11.30 at night until everything was over. I and my husband extended our thanks and gratitude towards him when he said…” Well I did not do it for you… Being a true Christian it’s my duty to help people in need and stand by the truth,,, which I did… It’s for my God!!!” His words were so refreshing and unbelievable. We were amazed at that man who stood by us and helped us when we were so much in need.

Subsequently, the very next morning we got a call from the police officer informing us the details of the driver’s insurance. Without any further follow ups from our end, within the next one week we got the entire price of our car in cash as the damages could not be fully recovered. Eventually, we bought a bigger and a much better car, which was a dream come true for us. This was because all the people and the department’s involved (Police department, Car Insurance Company, people who did the evaluation of our car) did their jobs on time and efficiently to make this possible for us. Can we imagine this in our own country?

SHASWATI

Change is for Good.

2011-10-15T22:21:00.000-07:00

Christina Baldwin had said “Change is the only constant in life, the signal for rebirth and the egg of Phoenix”. Change should be for good , change should be positive and should bring lots of sunshine in your life. Well, for me this is amazing when I think what I was exactly one year back, a very busy research executive, a wife who does not have any time for her husband or home. Typically, my day would start with an early morning bath, a quick breakfast and a 10 km drive through a huge riot of traffic signals to reach office on time. After spending a hectic day at work would head back home, the same way, cutting through the traffic jams and keep worrying if my cook would turn on time or if my domestic help will show up. When I am at home, I am either waiting for my cook or for my domestic help. That’s how I passed all the 5 days of a week and weekend will be busier with friends and family gatherings, with occasional visitors and guests. The only word that perfectly describes my life one year back is “Pandemonium”. Today when I look back I feel how ungraceful I was and how my life has taken a complete 360 degree turn.

Sometime last year my husband got his transfer to Denver in United State of America. There came a great escape from the busy buzzing city life of Bangalore. Life here is peaceful and serene like a flowing stream. I have got ample time for myself, my baby and for pursuing my hobbies. My husband calls me an ‘Island’. He says I am unsocial and love to remain alone. But after that hectic life of Bangalore who would not love to become an ‘Island’. It’s like going to Himalayas and meditating…… a complete self-realization and attaining salvation.

Today I am a mother of a 4 month old baby girl. My life entirely revolves around her. I left my job 15 days before giving birth and life since then is so happening that I am completely in love with it. I have time to paint ( which has been my hobby since my childhood), cook a complete meal for my husband and family, I love cleaning my house and decorating it to an extent that even my restroom wall is clad with my work of art. I have a cute little house which does not take much to maintain with a pretty modular kitchen which is my new laboratory and I love doing various culinary experiments there.

There is these two extremities in my life- A life of a ‘jet setting high flying executive’ and a housewife who is also a mother. But I loved both the roles, professional success can give you fame, money and satisfaction of material world but the second role gives you immense personal satisfaction which is spiritual. Both these ingredients make a complete recipe of happiness for an individual. Time and again I thank god for giving me a birth of a female; I can play diverse roles. No one’s stopping me from pursuing a great career and being a working mother or a housewife who loves to be at home and spend time with her offspring, beautifying her house and her life. I know I will get back to work soon but this break is an eye opener, made me a more confident human being , Spending my time with my baby and doing what I love to do makes me cheerful and potent.

This change almost at the very beginning of my life and career was definitely for good. However, “Egg of phoenix” will be obviously an exaggeration. But it’s like at the dawn you know how you want to spend the whole day so that at dusk you have no regrets. This change has made me realize how I want to spend my life and what I must do to achieve my goals both personal and professional. Learned in a better way to how I must handle my life so that I don’t have to call it a Pandemonium again.

Shaswati