Self-esteem - Education, Personality Development

Eye to eye: Teaching children self esteem

ridodirected@gmail.com (RIDO) — Sat, 10 May 2014 02:46:00 +0000

By Barbara Amaya, Communities Digital News
Article from http://www.commdiginews.com/life/
Posted on May 8 2014

WASHINGTON, May 8, 2014 — Self esteem is a critical element in helping children to avoid becoming victims of human trafficking. Parents and teachers can help build self esteem in children and teenagers, helping them avoid predators who target vulnerable children.

According to Fairfax County police Detective Bill Woolf, convicted human traffickers target potential victims and look specifically for girls who exhibit low self esteem.

Woolf says traffickers will target girls and ask specific questions like, “You know your super beautiful don’t you girl?” Or “Did anyone ever tell you that you could be a model?”

Traffickers also know when a girl looks down at her feet instead of maintaining eye contact they have found the perfect victim, because it is a symptom of low self esteem. Those with lose self esteem are easy to manipulate and control.

A simple change in body language can make a huge difference. Maintaining eye contact will show the trafficker that the individual is not a victim and is confident. A strong response will throw them off guard and likely make them lose interest.

Teaching young at risk populations that it is ok to say no is also important to help them fight potentially damaging situations. Teens who have been taught to be polite and never question authority are sadly at risk for becoming victims. While teachers and parents teach young people to always listen and be polite they must also stress that it’s important to first listen to that inner voice or conscience inside that says something’s is wrong.

What exactly is self esteem anyway? Self-esteem is all about how much we feel valued, loved, and thought of by others — how much we value, love, and accept ourselves. Children and teens with healthy self-esteem are able to feel good about themselves, appreciate their own worth, and take pride in their abilities, skills, and accomplishments.

Children and teens with low self-esteem may feel as if no one will like them or accept them or that they can’t do well in anything. These children will look for love and acceptance wherever they can find it often in the wrong places.

Human beings all experience problems with self-esteem at some point in their lives, especially during the confusing teenage years. The good news is that, because everyone’s self-image changes over time, self-esteem is not fixed forever.

Praising children for a job well done is always great, but don’t overdo it. In fact, by over-praising kids, we are doing more harm than good. We are lowering the bar and if we keep telling our children they are already doing a fantastic job, were saying they no longer need to push themselves. But confidence comes from doing, from trying and failing and trying again. Letting them learn by taking age appropriate risks is a way for them to grow healthy self esteem.

When children do fail make sure they know they are loved unconditionally and help them to set age appropriate goals, encourage them to help around the house and to pursue their own interests. Sports are always good for learning team work, working together and learning how to win and lose gracefully.

In today’s hectic world, spending quality time with your children and helping them be the best they can be and feel loved is more important than ever.

Children who are looking for love and acceptance will find it wherever they can. Love, acceptance, family, discipline, self worth for completing tasks (no matter what the tasks are) are all things a normal child looks for and needs. If the parents and family are not providing these, then there are predators and traffickers who will. When a child victim of human trafficking is rescued, unless the trafficker bond is broken through established protocols, the child will seek to return to the trafficker. The child does not think the trafficker is evil, they feel they are running back to the only person who understands and accepts them.

Building self esteem in the children in our lives should start early and continue throughout childhood. Building esteem in teenagers at a time when they are facing body changes peer pressure and more requires different mindset. A conflict may seem small to us, but to a teenager, it could be a major problem in their lives. By supporting your child through the good and the bad you will be laying a strong foundation for open communication when bigger challenges come around. When things are going well, remind your teenager that you are always there to listen and help in any way that you can. Knowing they have a parent who loves and accepts them can help build their self-esteem over time.

Ask the children and teens in your life the questions below.

Which of these would you try as a way to build your self-esteem?

Think of something I’d like to accomplish and make a plan for doing it
Reduce self-critical thoughts
Let go of the need to always be perfect in all I do
Remind myself that mistakes are always learning opportunities, not failures
Put effort into doing and being the best I can be

All of these are great ways for helping to build self esteem and confidence.

Taking the time in our busy lives to make sure the children in our lives are the very best they can be is so important.

Make sure it is a priority in your own life today.

Barbara Amaya, Communities Digital News
Article from http://www.commdiginews.com/life/
Posted on May 8 2014

High Self-Esteem Equals Fewer Health Problems For Seniors

ridodirected@gmail.com (RIDO) — Sat, 03 May 2014 03:55:00 +0000

Posted: 03/13/2014 9:50 am EDT Updated: 03/13/2014 11:59 am EDT
Article from http://www.huffingtonpost.com/

A healthy body starts with a happy mind for seniors, a new study shows. Research led by Concordia University's Center for Research in Human Development suggests that feelings of self-confidence and worth correlate to a lower incidence of health problems.

While self-esteem and confidence issues are often associated with awkward teenagers and growing pains, older adults can also experience difficulty with their feelings of worth as they grow older. Previous studies have shown that self-esteem begins to decline in old age as people start to deal with empty nests, retirement, and the onset of health problems.

Researchers looked at 147 adults ages 60 and up and measured their self-esteem, cortisol, perceived stress levels, and any depressive symptoms over a four-year period. Participants with lower self-esteem were found to have higher cortisol levels. The effects were even more pronounced in people with a history of depression and stress. Too much of the stress hormone can have negative side effects like weight gain, sleep problems, digestive issues, and even memory impairment.

"Because self-esteem is associated with psychological wellbeing and physical health, raising self-esteem would be an ideal way to help prevent health problems later in life," study author Sarah Liu said in a release.

One way older adults can maintain and improve their self-esteem is to socialize and prevent isolation, Liu said, as loneliness can be a major health concern in older adults. A recent University of Chicago study estimated that loneliness can increase the chances of premature death by up to 14 percent.

"Improving self-esteem provides real health benefits in seniors," Liu said. "The ultimate solution may be to prevent self-esteem from declining."

Health experts say older people can increase their self esteem by taking care of their health and appearance, volunteering, and managing their free time.

Posted: 03/13/2014 9:50 am EDT Updated: 03/13/2014 11:59 am EDT
Article from http://www.huffingtonpost.com/

Science Links Selfies to Narcissism, Addiction & Low Self Esteem

ridodirected@gmail.com (RIDO) — Mon, 21 Apr 2014 04:38:00 +0000

Christie Barakat on April 16, 2014 1:30 PM
Posted from http://socialtimes.com/

Selfies narcissism

The Daily Mirror recently told the story of teenager Danny Bowman, an aspiring model who attempted suicide because he wasn’t satisfied with the quality of his selfies. Bowman had become technology-addicted and selfie-obsessed and is currently undergoing therapy for OCD and Body Dysmorphic Disorder (an excessive anxiety about personal appearance).

Bowman’s unhealthy addiction to peer approval via myriad selfie posts began at the age of 15, when he received comments about his appearance on Facebook. “They told me that my body was the wrong shape to be a model and that my skin wasn’t up to scratch. I was mortified,” he recalled.

Bowman was eventually taking up to 80 selfies before leaving for school in the morning. As his addiction worsened, he lost weight — binging only on selfies — and dropped out of school. Bowman’s parents, both mental health nurses, were desperate to help their son after he was rushed to the hospital for an attempted overdose on pills.

Selfie addiction is a new pathology, often related to past bullying and low self-esteem. According to Time, psychiatrists are beginning to consider the compulsion to take selfies as a serious mental health problem.

“The common treatment is where a patient gradually learns to go for longer periods of time without satisfying the urge to take a photograph, along with therapy to address the root cause of the problem,” psychiatrist Dr. David Veale told the Daily Mirror.

Veale said that since the rise of camera phones, two out of three of his patients suffer from Body Dysmorphic Disorder and compulsively take selfies. “Cognitive behavioral therapy is used to help a patient to recognize the reasons for his or her compulsive behavior and then to learn how to moderate it.”

As the San Jose Mercury News reports, teenagers are among the largest group of storytellers. “According to a recent study from the Pew Research Center, 91 percent of teens have posted a photo of themselves online. Many also use photo messaging applications such as Snapchat to attach text.”

When we get so distracted by the marketing of ourselves, we can lose touch with our authentic identities and struggle to build real relationships, says Lucie Hemmen, a Santa Cruz clinical psychologist and author of Parenting a Teen Girl: A Crash Course on Conflict, Communication and Connection with Your Teenage Daughter.

“There’s a continuum of health and authenticity in what you shoot and post,” she says. “A secure, mature person is going to post selfies that are spontaneous and not overly engineered or edited, and they’re going to do it less often. A more insecure person is going to post staged or sexualized photos, and they’re going to do it so much that they become consumed by it and the comments they receive.”

Pamela Rutledge, director of the Media Psychology Research Center in Boston, calls selfies a “really interesting psychological shift” in self-portraiture and in our relationships with ourselves. “Selfies allow you to be the producer, director, curator and actor in your own story,” says Rutledge.

But selfies can affect mood and damage self-esteem. Hemmen added, “Therein lies the challenge: practicing selfie control. Because teenagers are often driven by insecurity to construct a desirable persona, they are particularly vulnerable to the negative side of self-portraiture.”

“If a young girl poses provocatively and gets 300 likes for that photo, that’s false self-esteem for that kid,” said Hemmen. “Selfies can be fun and give people a burst of satisfaction in the moment, but we still want to encourage people to have authentic identities in real time and with real people.”

In Psychology Today, Rutledge said, “Selfies frequently trigger perceptions of self-indulgence or attention-seeking social dependence that raises the damned-if-you-do and damned-if-you-don’t spectre of either narcissism or very low self-esteem.”

A team of U.K. researchers found that people who post a lot of photos on Facebook and other social networks run the risk of alienating friends, family members and colleagues, leading to less supportive bonds.

A Birmingham Business School study of disclosure and liking behavior on Facebook found that people who post a lot of selfies have more shallow relationships with people. “People, other than very close friends and relatives, don’t seem to relate well to those who constantly share photos of themselves,” said the study’s lead author Dr. David Houghton in a statement.

Yet there are no signs of decreased selfie sharing.

Cyber etiquette expert Julie Spira told the New York Daily News that while the narcissistic selfie is becoming more acceptable, posting more than three times a day on Facebook is going to irritate people. That rule can be stretched a bit on platforms like Twitter and Instagram, but “if one friend is hogging your entire feed, you might unfriend that person because that’s not why you joined.”

Posted from http://socialtimes.com/

Is Low Self-Esteem Making You Vulnerable to Depression?

ridodirected@gmail.com (RIDO) — Mon, 21 Apr 2014 04:31:00 +0000

By Elizabeth Venzin
Posted in http://psychcentral.com/

Low self-esteem makes us feel bad about ourselves. But did you know that over time it also can cause the development of serious mental conditions such as depression?

Low self-esteem is an important indicator used by clinicians as one possible symptom when they diagnose a depressive disorder. But did the low self-esteem cause the depression or vice versa? Researchers have long wondered about the chicken-and-egg problem of self-esteem and depression. Certainly, if you dislike yourself, you’ll be more likely to be depressed. Conversely, if you’re depressed, you’ll be more likely to feel bad about who you are as a person.

The only way to disentangle the highly related concepts of self-esteem and depression is through longitudinal research, in which people are followed up over time. A study on depression, conducted by University of Basel researchers Julia Sowislo and Ulrich Orth, contrasted the competing directions of self-esteem to depression vs. depression to self-esteem.

The findings almost all overwhelmingly support the vulnerability model of self-esteem and depression. Over time, low self-esteem is a risk factor for depression, regardless of who is tested and how. The study indicated that low self-esteem causes depression but not vice versa.

Therefore, if a person has low self-esteem, there’s an increased risk of developing depression. This is a very important discovery because it shows that improving a person’s self-esteem can make him or her feel better.

The study concluded that there is convincing evidence to support the vulnerability effect of low self-esteem on depression.

According to Dr. Lars Madsen, Australian clinical psychologist and self-esteem specialist, the reality often is that self-esteem is a key factor in both the development and maintenance of depression. A person with low self-esteem takes things personally, and in a negative way.

People with low self-esteem try not to disprove but to verify their negative self-concept by seeking negative feedback from the people in their network. They think about their inadequacies, focus on the negative feedback they receive from others, ponder that feedback, and as a result become more depressed. Their negative mood also leads them to be perceived more negatively by others, which leads them to feel hurt and rejected.

Madsen also confirms the rarity of studies on self-esteem and depression that allow for any causal arguments to be made. However, the comprehensive study noted above concluded that the best way to protect your positive mood is to find ways to boost your self-esteem.

Reference

Sowislo, J., & Orth, U. (2013). Does low self-esteem predict depression and anxiety? A meta-analysis of longitudinal studies. Psychological Bulletin, 139(1), 213-240. doi:10.1037/a0028931

Posted in http://psychcentral.com/

How Self-Esteem Keeps People From God

ridodirected@gmail.com (RIDO) — Thu, 23 May 2013 05:04:00 +0000

By Dan Delzell , Special to CP
May 21, 2013|7:03 am
Article from http://www.christianpost.com/news/

It sounds so positive and affirming. After all, everyone deserves to have a ton of self-esteem, right? With all the bullying and other belittling behavior which takes place these days, doesn't it just make sense that we should want all people to hold themselves in high esteem?

Yes and no. While it is true that we don't want people to live in self-hatred, it is also true that "self" tends to be awfully narcissistic. This tendency gets demonstrated every time you flatter yourself, or disparage yourself. Either way, "self" will sure soak up all the attention you are willing to give it. And that's where the rub comes in.

As long as I am focused on myself, I am not focused on Jesus. And why is that such a big deal you may ask? Because only Jesus can bring us to the Father, and only Jesus can give us true peace and contentment. An obsession with self, be it critical or complimentary, only leads to more pride and a consuming focus on "me."

It may not seem to you like being critical of yourself is a form of pride, but it's just as detrimental as being arrogant. It keeps your mind and your thoughts on your "self." It hinders you from bringing all of your concerns and your sins to God. That's because like everyone else, you are by nature someone who loves to think about yourself. And in our culture today, that tendency gets multiplied many times over by the obsession with fame, fortune, popularity, and status. "Look at me. Look what I've done, or what I've got. How impressive!"

Think of it this way. Picture a throne sitting at the center of your heart. And there is only room on that throne for one person. Who will it be? Will that throne be occupied by me, or by Christ, or perhaps by someone else? I'll tell you this much.

Whoever is sitting on that throne today is someone you tend to think about a lot. He or she is dominant in your mind because of their position of authority on the throne. And everybody has someone on the throne of their heart, whether they realize it or not.

"Who will be my king today, when I work and when I play? Who will lead me as I go, who will others come to know? Do I shine the light on me, or is this throne occupied by Thee?"

You get to decide who is going to be the focus of your work, and your free time, and at the center of your relationships. God has given us free will, and He provides the grace necessary to focus on Christ rather than on "self."

One of the interesting things about self-esteem is that it actually makes a person feel acutely vulnerable. It causes you to become overly sensitive when others criticize you, or when they don't give you your "fair share." Self-esteem does nothing to promote a love for others. It just amplifies a love for self, which we already have plenty of from the moment we come into this world.

The Bible tells us that "love is not easily angered," and it "keeps no record of wrongs." (1 Cor. 13:5) That's a far cry from the fruit of self-esteem, which tends to become angry quite easily. It also keeps score of wrongs done to it. That is the flesh pure and simple. Man's natural state can flare up in anger at the drop of a hat. And the more self-esteem that gets pumped into you through well-meaning mentors, the less you will be inclined to bring your sins to Jesus for His pardon and power.

In fact, the ongoing quest for more self-esteem will only make you less interested in the things of God. It can develop into such an obsession that you don't even realize how far it has taken you from God. An honest self-inventory is then viewed as potentially damaging to your "healthy self-esteem," and so you avoid those situations or people who might mention your sins to you. Who wants to hear that? We would much rather be told that we are doing everything perfectly in God's eyes, or at least pretend that we are perfect.

It would be fair to say that some people actually worship at "the altar of self-esteem." It is their god. It is the love of their life. They can stand in front of the mirror and gaze into the eyes of this god for hours on end. It's a god they can see, and a god they can believe in. But it's a god who will never satisfy the needs of their soul. All this god does is make people insecure, sensitive, and selfish. That's not exactly the kind of fruit which will benefit others in the community, or in the family.

Self-esteem leads people to take things personally when they are given correction. The love of God gives a person confidence to readily confess sin and shortcomings, and then move forward in the grace and forgiveness of our Savior. It is so liberating to live with a heart full of God's love. Conversely, it is terribly confining to always feel driven to meet the needs of your god of self-esteem. He is not a forgiving god, and not someone you can trust.

"Wait a minute? You mean I cannot trust myself." That is correct, at least not fully. You are imperfect. You are sinful. You get ideas that are wrong. We all do. And so no, you cannot fully trust yourself. And why would you want to do that anyway when you can rely on God for the wisdom and direction you need. It's time to get rid of the crazy notion that your "self" can do more for you than God can do. Only the Lord can bring you the peace you desire at the deepest level of your existence.

Self-esteem covers up your deepest needs. It simply masks it, but it doesn't address it. It becomes a wall a person builds to protect himself from honestly addressing his own sinfulness and need for God.

I should give you a warning at this point. If you are someone who has been brainwashed about your purported need for self-esteem, you probably are feeling a little uneasy on the inside right about now. There is someone in there who is feeling a little threatened. He doesn't want to show himself for fear of being found out. He or she would rather stay hidden behind the wall. It would be a huge mistake for you to keep giving into the pitiful whining and demands of "self."

It's time to let him be exposed for who he is, namely, a sinner in need of God's grace. It's OK to admit it. In fact, it is the only way to remove that god from your altar and the throne of your heart. He must be deposed. He must be stripped of his authority in your life.

Hmm. Sounds a lot like the New Testament. Notice what happens to "I" and "me" and "self" when a person becomes a believer. St. Paul summed it up well: "I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me." (Galatians 2:20)

So there it is. A new sheriff has come to town. A new ruler sits on the throne of your heart. And a new obsession, this time on King Jesus rather than on "self."

Could it really be this easy? That's just it. It's easy to become a believer. It is difficult to live everyday denying self and living for Christ. You need to hear that on the front end so that you never come back and claim you were not told that Christianity isn't always a bed of roses.

The ongoing challenge for every believer here on earth is that in the midst of the beautiful rose garden of God's love in my soul, there is also a "zombie-like" creature attempting to come up out of the dirt and back to life in my thinking and my living. That zombie is named "self." And he liked it much better when I was addicted to constantly paying homage to this god of "self-esteem."

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come." (2 Cor. 5:17)

It is hopeless to try to fix or heal "self." He is a lost cause. Forget about him or her. Your new identity in Christ is the only path to freedom, joy, forgiveness, and true love. So don't allow your "self" to keep you from coming to God with your sins, burdens, hurts, fears, hopes and dreams.

Perhaps you have always had an inkling that self-esteem was vastly overrated. Now you know why you felt that way.

Dan Delzell is the pastor of Wellspring Lutheran Church in Papillion, Neb. He is a regular contributor to The Christian Post.

Dan Delzell , Special to CP
May 21, 2013|7:03 am
Article from http://www.christianpost.com/news/

What Really Strengthens Self-Esteem

ridodirected@gmail.com (RIDO) — Fri, 17 May 2013 11:57:00 +0000

By MARGARITA TARTAKOVSKY, M.S.
Article from http://psychcentral.com/lib/2012/

Self-esteem gets a bad rap. Some view self-esteem as arrogance, narcissism or selfishness. It’s anything but.

Individuals with healthy self-esteem are humble and recognize all people’s worth, according to Glenn R. Schiraldi, Ph.D., author of The Self-Esteem Workbook and a professor at the University of Maryland School of Public Health. They’re also realistic. Those with good self-esteem are able to realistically and honestly evaluate their strengths, weaknesses and potential.

According to Schiraldi, self-esteem consists of three elements: unconditional love, unconditional worth and growth — “a deep, quiet inner security that is not easily shaken under duress or after a disappointing performance.”

Research has found positive links between healthy self-esteem and many desirable outcomes, including happiness, humility, resilience and optimism. Studies show that low self-esteem is related to stress, depression and anxiety.

Some psychologists believe that self-esteem stays where it is permanently. In other words, if you have low self-esteem, there’s nothing you can do to improve it. Schiraldi disagrees and sees several reasons for this misunderstanding. “Usually, criticism springs from simplistic, or sometimes false, definitions, lack of understanding about how it changes, and measurement challenges,” he said. Improving self-esteem is not a quick or easy process, he noted, and simplistic interventions don’t work. It takes time and practice to genuinely enhance self-esteem.

Lisa Firestone, Ph.D, a clinical psychologist and co-author of Conquer Your Critical Inner Voice, also believes it’s possible to lift low self-esteem. She cites neuroplasticity as a major reason. Neuroplasticity is our brain’s ability to change structurally and functionally as a result of our environment.

What Doesn’t Work in Boosting Self-Esteem

Empty affirmations don’t work. Telling someone they’re smarter and better than others doesn’t boost self-esteem. Rather, it just sets people up for failure and a shaky self-esteem.

“Everyone doesn’t deserve a trophy for showing up, but everyone can feel that they have as much right to play and enjoy the process of improving as anyone else does,” Schiraldi said.

Strategies for Strengthening Self-Esteem

Practice healthy habits. According to Schiraldi, it’s important to prepare your brain — “maximizing the health, function and receptivity to new learning of neurons” — before studying new skills. This includes feeding your body nutritious foods, participating in physical activities, getting enough sleep and treating medical or psychological conditions. “For example, if one has been shamed by sexual abuse, it is usually critical to heal the emotional wounds before trying to get to a more positive place,” he said.

Recognize how you’re attacking yourself. Identify what you may be doing to perpetuate your low self-esteem, Firestone said. For instance, you might choose to surround yourself with toxic people who further sink your self-esteem. Or you might encourage others to talk down to you. Many people don’t voice their needs and let others speak for them.

Once you can recognize the ways you sabotage yourself, you can work through them. Take the example of articulating your needs. If you’re too passive to do so, learn how you can become more assertive. Start small: Ask your roommate to turn the music down, say no to an event you don’t want to attend or ask your server to have a cold entrée reheated.

Identify and challenge self-critical thoughts. Certain distorted thought patterns enable low self-esteem. A common distortion is personalizing, which Schiraldi describes in The Self-Esteem Workbook as “seeing yourself as more involved in negative events than you really are.” Maybe you take full responsibility for your spouse’s fatigue, your son failing his math final or your boss being mad.

In his book, Schiraldi offers two antidotes to personalizing. First, remember that you may be able to influence someone’s behavior but you certainly don’t cause it. “The final decision is theirs, not ours,” he writes. Next, look for other influences in a situation. Instead of believing that you can’t accomplish a certain project, acknowledge that it’s a tough task and you’re in a noisy environment.

You also can learn to challenge other negative thoughts, he said, such as: “I’m a loser,” “I can’t do anything,” or “I’m completely inadequate and will always be so.” To learn more, here are 15 cognitive distortions, how to fix them and more on challenging these distortions.

Find out who you are. A healthy self-esteem also means having a quiet gladness about who you are, Schiraldi said. But first you need to know who that person is. “Every individual must determine his or her own values, principles, and moral standards and live by them,” Firestone said.

What do you value in life? What matters to you? Once you can pinpoint your values, you might even realize that the very things you beat yourself up about have nothing to do with your goals. For instance, one of Firestone’s clients berated himself for not earning a high enough salary. But when he and Firestone explored his goals and dreams, he realized that doing meaningful work, helping others and spending time with his family were all more important than earning a specific income.

Getting to know yourself better also helps you assess your traits and determine which are in line with the kind of person you’d like to be, Firestone said. Another client realized that one of his core values is to be kind. But his interactions with his wife were antagonistic. He was so worried that his wife would attack him that he’d make preemptive strikes. He worked on finding ways to avoid being on the offensive.

Again, a healthy self-esteem doesn’t mean thinking you’re flawless; it means knowing realistically what you need to work on and making the necessary changes, Firestone said. If you’d like to be more social, start volunteering and join a book club. If you have a short fuse, see a therapist to work on your anger issues. If you don’t like that people walk all over you, read up on setting boundaries.

Learn what lights you up. People with low self-esteem often have a long can’t-do list, Firestone said. They may have incorrect ideas of what they’re capable of. What helps is to challenge these thoughts and try new activities. For instance, Firestone always thought of herself as a shy person until a friend encouraged her to try public speaking. She started slowly by doing presentations with her friend, attending other presentations to see what worked and practicing at home. Now, public speaking is a passion of hers. “Doing things that matter to you helps you build up confidence,” she said.

Appreciate your body. “The way we experience our bodies often parallels the way we experience our core selves, “according to Schiraldi. So if you’re tough on your body — bashing your weight, shape or wrinkles — you’ll likely be tough on your core and have a conditional self-esteem.

Appreciating your body with all its imperfections can help you cultivate a more accepting view of yourself as a whole. In The Self-Esteem Workbook, Schiraldi explains how amazing the body really is. For instance, did you know that the heart, which weighs just eleven ounces, pumps three thousand gallons of blood per day? “Technology cannot replicate the heart’s durability. The force of blood hurled against the aorta would quickly damage rigid pipes, while the flexible, tissue-thin valves of the heart are sturdier than any man-made materials,” he writes.

Accept your imperfections. Think of your best friend, partner or kids. Why do you love them? Undoubtedly it has little to do with their flawless traits. We don’t wait to love others until they’re perfect. If we did, as Schiraldi said, then no one would be loved.

“Love is a choice and a commitment that we make each day, despite our imperfections,” Schiraldi said. And we can make the same choice and commitment to love ourselves as well, warts and all. According to Schiraldi, what helps to cultivate self-acceptance is mindfulness, which teaches compassion for the self and others along with the ability to sit with painful emotions. (Here’s another way to cultivate self-compassion.)

Again, having a positive self-esteem isn’t selfish. It’s important for leading a fulfilling, healthy life, which in turn helps you help others.

Here are signs of low self-esteem. If you see yourself in them, you can use the tips outlined here to help.

Again, having a positive self-esteem isn’t selfish. It’s important for leading a fulfilling, healthy life, which in turn helps you help others.

Here are signs of low self-esteem. If you see yourself in them, you can use the tips outlined here to help.

MARGARITA TARTAKOVSKY, M.S.
Article from http://psychcentral.com/lib/2012/

Building Self-Esteem: Old Issue, New Movement

ridodirected@gmail.com (RIDO) — Wed, 15 May 2013 11:13:00 +0000

May 2, 2013, 2:22 p.m.

By YASMEEN KHAN

Article from http://www.schoolbook.org/

Mariely Garcia, a senior at the Richard R. Green High School of Teaching, said she is tired of watching her classmates underestimate their self-worth.

“We’re all dreamers and we all want to do things but we don’t do them because we’re scared of what people think,” she said. “We sit back and we don’t talk in class and we don’t express ourselves. We don’t go to that art class because it’s ‘uncool.’”

A little over year ago, Garcia started a Tumblr page called Perfectly Made, devoted to tackling self-esteem issues among her fellow teenagers. She said she was determined to transform the page from a blog to a movement, and on April 13 launched the Perfect Revolution with the help of her classmates and the organization The Future Project.

Hundreds of high school students showed up to Dag Hammarskjold Plaza that day for a rally, and Garcia shared this video to show scenes from the day.

Garcia cited some numbers that alarmed her: Suicide is the third leading cause of death among young people; tens of thousands of students nationwide stay home from school each day because of bullying; and 80 percent of 10-year-olds are afraid of being fat.

She said she hopes to one day turn Perfectly Made into a non-profit organization. For now, she is concentrating on attending Bowdoin College in the fall.

Garcia was previously featured in a WNYC story about low-income students applying to top colleges.

Yasmeen Khan is a producer at WNYC. Follow her on Twitter @yasmeenkhan

May 2, 2013, 2:22 p.m.

YASMEEN KHAN

Article from http://www.schoolbook.org/

You reach more kids when you use the arts to teach

ridodirected@gmail.com (RIDO) — Mon, 13 May 2013 13:51:00 +0000

May 12th, 2013
By Jon Schwartz
Article from http://www.edsource.org/

When I tell people I use the performing arts to teach my second grade students, they often ask, “You’re responsible for teaching kids academics. How do you find the time for that?”

Guess what? For the first 13 years of teaching, I too viewed the performing arts as an unaffordable luxury, if not a waste of precious instructional time. My job was to teach academics by filling my students with information. If the school wanted my students to sing, they’d give them more than 30 minutes a week with the district’s music teacher. We had real work to do!

Only last year, when I started bringing music into my classroom, did I realize that rather than being a diversion, the performing arts can be a tool to unify the different strands of academic learning into a cohesive theme that students can easily digest and eagerly embrace while enhancing learning. Direct and explicit instruction and standard/basal texts are still cornerstones of our class, but we’ve made time for content-rich music and other visual and performing arts. By using them as thematic teaching tools, we’re not squandering learning opportunities, we’re enhancing, enriching and creating them.

It’s ironic that many of us adults have come to view the performing arts as an inefficient use of class time. The California State Standards actually call for their implementation, and point to their importance in providing a balanced curriculum.

When the right material is used – academically and culturally rich songs, music, plays, theater – standards-rich content can be presented to students in a meaningful way that boosts engagement and retention. In my experience, kids will dive into the curriculum, and even double down on more challenging material, if it’s participatory and delivered in ways they can process and enjoy.

For example, in my second grade class, we use songs to learn the full range of language arts skills: When I first brought in Chuck Berry’s “Promised Land” and “Let it Rock,” we used the songs to teach reading skills, slowly pointing and tracking to each word. Once we gained a level of fluency and familiarity with the text, we discussed the meaning of Berry’s phrases and imagery. Small passages took on great significance and propelled us into impassioned research – so much so that, at times, the students didn’t want to go to recess. I started getting goosebumps!

For example, Berry’s phrase “straddled that Greyhound” in “Promised Land” helped us learn about the use of literal versus figurative language. With some questioning, I found that the kids had no idea what the song meant. Part of this was cultural (most of my students are English learners), and part of it was due to the fact that the period the song refers to – all that rich Americana – is all but lost to many in our younger generations. Many of these kids have grown up on SpongeBob and video games, and have been handed a history-poor curriculum geared to tests that don’t assess history knowledge in primary grades.

We put our songbooks down, raced back to our seats, flicked off the lights and fired up the projector and Googled each word in Berry’s phrase. When they saw the connections between greyhounds as a species of dog, the company’s strategic use of that term as a brand, how and why the company’s logo and design/construction of their buses have changed over the decades, the literal definition of straddling, and studied the artful way Berry used “straddling” in the song, the lesson took on tremendous significance.

I’d been listening to the song for 30 years, but the power of the words never registered with me until my students and I delved into them together. The kids were on the edge of their seats, and I’ve never felt more alive as a teacher.

Using the song as historical context, we addressed the concepts of westward expansion and the history of the Transcontinental Railroad. Berry’s words in “Let It Rock”: “Working on the railroad with a steel driving hammer,” naturally led to researching folktales and heroes that led us to historical photos of entire hillsides covered with hundreds of mud-caked workers holding mostly hand tools.

The cultural composition of the workers depicted in the historic photo aroused a great deal of curiosity, and even disbelief. Many of the students had envisioned that everyone in the “Old Days” would look like the Lone Ranger or Pecos Bill and were astonished to see Chinese workers. Using language the kids could understand, we used the class’s reactions to the photos as a launching point for talking about stereotypes, reality and preconceptions.

This far-reaching academic discussion, from phonics to folktales, all emanated from portions of classic American songs. Who would have thought?

As you can see in the video, once we researched the early and modern trains and buses, students created hand-drawn art related to our songs, scanned it into the computer, edited it in Photoshop, and uploaded it to their personal anonymous blogs. The students were tasked with recreating, through their own drawings, a detailed photograph of a 1950s era Greyhound bus. This challenging assignment enabled us to address the state’s Grade 2 Visual Arts Standard 2.3 (Depict the illusion of depth (space) in a work of art, using overlapping shapes, relative size, and placement within the picture).

Recently, I’ve started to compose original songs for our class. I can tailor the songs to the student’s academic and social needs, and I’ve found a whole new side of me that I never knew existed.

We constantly practice and refine our vocal delivery of the song’s text, and the imposed phrasings, opportunities to learn through peer modeling, movement, and visual and musical content meet the needs of second language learners. More advanced students are challenged to assume leadership roles and tap their creativity in choreographing dance moves and shaping our performing unit.

We don’t have much time to spend teaching students how to play instruments, but I wanted the kids to be able to do more than sing and dance to my guitar playing, so decided to try plastic kazoos. What a miracle! They’re like junior saxophones without the complex fingerings, and together, they make up our band’s horn section. Kazoos are inexpensive, washable, and easy to learn.

For teachers who want to take it to the next level, a performance (for parents, other students or even the public) provides students with a summative, culminating event where they can apply what they’ve learned, take ownership of the content and work, and build confidence and self esteem. Our class band, “Kids Like Blues Band,” has played for thousands of people at street fairs, talent shows, amusement parks and on live TV, and as a teacher I’ve seen the student collaboration, teamwork and cooperation that goes into the performance’s success.

Another big “aha!” moment occurred for me last year when we first started using music as a teaching tool. I found one of my reluctant readers, Jorge, poring over one of the pieces in our songbook during recess. Of my 30 students, he was the one I’d least expect to be working when it wasn’t required. I was doubly floored when I noticed he’d picked one of the more difficult songs to read – something well beyond his assessed reading level – and he was plowing through the words with a doggedness and determination I’d not seen before.

This English learner wasn’t attracted by the texts we’d used in class, but by a song rich in historical content – one that brought to life subjects such as the Industrial Revolution, the building of the Transcontinental Railroad, the evolution of transportation, westward migration, and immigration. He was learning about our country – his country – and he couldn’t get enough of it.

Our work with the songs was making the history of the United States come alive for him. More than ever before, I felt I was realizing one of the goals outlined in the introduction to the CA State Standards, which call for us to “enable the human spirit to be enriched, foster responsible citizenship, and preserve the collective memory of a nation.”

•••

Jon Schwartz has taught grades 1-6 in California public schools since 1997 and has credentials in general and special education. He has two educational websites that show his work integrating the performing arts (http://kidslikeblues.org) and technology (http://kidslikeblogs.org) into the classroom. His work has been featured by the US Dept. of Education and the California Association for the Gifted, and he received a “Tech Hero of 2011 Award” from the California State Senate.

May 12th, 2013

Jon Schwartz

Article from http://www.edsource.org/

Can you have both sincere faith and healthy self-esteem? (LifePoints clergy column)(updated)

ridodirected@gmail.com (RIDO) — Sat, 11 May 2013 09:29:00 +0000

By Kay Campbell | kcampbell@al.com
on May 09, 2013 at 10:48 AM, updated May 10, 2013 at 7:01 AM
Article from http://www.al.com/living/index.ssf/2013/05/self-esteem_lifepoints.html

How much humility is too much? Counselor and minister Mark Beaird offers a Bible-based assessment of healthy and holy humility. (Kay Campbell / KCampbell@al.com)

HUNTSVILLE, Alabama -- Most people of faith view the personality trait of humility as one of the supreme goals of living as a believer.

Mark Beaird, a Huntsville-based pastor for many years who now is a licensed counselor, warns that too much of a good thing, even humility, is not the goal.

The goal? A balanced, honest self-awareness that leads to more respect, both of self and of others.

Here's how he puts it--

The Need for Self-Esteem

By Mark Beaird

MB@alabamaCounselingandConsulting.com

While many have seen the need and sought for greater self-esteem, too many were surprised to find their pursuit not well received by others -- and sometimes with a faith-based condemnation. For some reason, some have the idea that building one’s self-esteem will lead to that person becoming egotistical or arrogant or having an “inflated ego.”

But low self-esteem should not be confused with humility. It is not the same. Low self-esteem is the devaluing of ourselves in our eyes and often leads to accepting mistreatment by others. Low self-esteem is often helps create emotional upset, relational difficulties, poor decision-making, negativity and hopelessness. Low self-esteem decreases our self-respect and self-worth.

Humility, on the other hand, is about being unassuming or modest. Good self-esteem has a good balance to it. It is based on an accurate estimation of one’s worth as a person—a worth that everyone possesses.

This idea of balance is an idea even promoted in the Bible. Paul writes, “For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you.” (Romans 12:3, NIV).

There is no caution given against thinking well of one’s self as long as it is a balanced and accurate estimation. This is something we must find for ourselves because others sometimes devalue us or overvalue us. Depending on others to determine one’s worth or set one’s level of self-esteem will only result in an emotional roller-coaster ride.

People who frown on others for wanting to build self-esteem might be people who don’t understand what it is that is being accomplished. In other cases they might be those who want to control us or who want us to believe their mistreatment is what we deserve.

The fact is that good self-esteem leads to one being more secure, having better relationships, being more forgiving, having a positive outlook and having more empathy for others.

"Good self-esteem leads to being more secure, better relationships, being more forgiving, having a positive outlook and more empathy for others"

A study I read recently showed that people with healthy self-esteem even exercise better judgment in their behavior. It’s true! People who see themselves in a positive light are more prone to make decisions that will reflect well on them, while people with low self-esteem are often more careless or fatalistic about their choices. The fact that a decision might reflect badly on the person with low self-esteem doesn’t mean as much if that person already sees themselves in a bad light.

Aren’t sure if your self-esteem is too high or too low? A competent professional counselor can be consulted, or one can learn more about the self-esteem by reading articles posted on good websites like: www.MayoClinic.com or www.PsychCentral.com.

Just remember, there is certainly nothing wrong with improving one’s outlook on one’s self or on one’s life—it’s all about achieving balance. Don’t be worried about ending up with an inflated ego. In my experience, there will always be someone around who is willing to let the air out of your ego if it gets too big. Let your focus be on keeping it properly inflated.

Mark Beaird is a licensed professional counselor (LPC) with the faith-based Alabama Counseling and Consulting Center, 600 Whitesport Drive in Huntsville. Also a freelance writer, he's been a minister and pastor for more than 25 years. Email:MB@AlabamaCounselingandConsulting.com

"LifePoints" and Clergy Column feature inspiration and instruction from faith and thought leaders and writers. To submit a column for this feature from Huntsville-area writers, send to KCampbell@al.com.

Kay Campbell | kcampbell@al.com
on May 09, 2013 at 10:48 AM, updated May 10, 2013 at 7:01 AM
Article from http://www.al.com/living/index.ssf/2013/05/self-esteem_lifepoints.html

A Little Pride Doesn’t Hurt: Building Your Child’s Self-Esteem

ridodirected@gmail.com (RIDO) — Thu, 09 May 2013 09:23:00 +0000

By BRIAN GRESKO | April 26th, 2013 at 10:11 am
From http://www.babble.com/dad/a-little-pride-doesnt-hurt-building-your-childs-self-esteem/

Pride comes before a fall, the saying goes, and we have countless stories, from Star Wars to Citizen Kane, that prove it. The p-word has become so derided these days that its antonym has come to replace it — “This is humbling” or “I’m humbled” people (especially politicians) sometimes say, when they mean just the opposite; they’re proud of themselves. And we now have the neologism “Humble Brag,” an oxymoron that means to brag about yourself without seeming to brag about yourself, to use a screen of phony humility to distract from your boast.

In an extreme, pride turns to hubris, arrogance, and narcissism. It blinds a person to pitfalls, and deafens them to opposing views. It makes one insufferable to be around. And yet a certain amount of pride in one’s accomplishments and achievements is healthy. Otherwise you don’t allow yourself to shine, you don’t bring all of your gifts forward to share with others, and you don’t stand up for yourself in a conflict or when being trampled upon. Outside of the social realm, it’s nice to take a moment and feel good about yourself, to have some esteem in one’s self. Liking yourself is a positive thing, I think we can all agree.

This can be hard for me. Just the other day I was talking with my wife about some good career news, and, during a pause in the conversation, I thought “I’m really proud of myself.” Instead of saying this, I began drumming along to the beat of the music.

And then she said it. “I’m proud of you!”

“I was just thinking that!” I said.

“Well, you don’t usually drum,” she said. This is true. I have horrible rhythm. During clap-a-longs, I’m the guy clapping in the silences between everyone else’s claps. “So I figured you were feeling pretty good,” she continued.

At what point do we start to monitor our feelings of self-worth? And why do we do it? This week I saw some beautiful, very honest expressions of pride in my son. Felix is leaving toddlerhood behind for little boy-dom, a metamorphosis rife with growing pains, and some moments of revelation too.

I’ve written before about his love of his tricycle, and with his forth birthday on the horizon, we’ve been talking about getting him “a big boy bike” with training-wheels. The other day I took him to investigate the selection of kid bicycles at the bike store, thinking to whet his appetite. They only had one bike available, though, and it was the perfect size for him. When he saw it, Felix’s eyes became donuts, and his face beamed. The owner of the store was obviously touched by his excitement, and smelled an opportunity. He offered me a great price for the bike and so we took it. I don’t think I’ll ever forget that smile on Felix’s face when he rode up to our stoop with his helmet on. He was so proud of himself.

Just as he was when he helped me shop for groceries, fetching all the goods within his reach, and digging around in the freezer to find the perfect bag of frozen raspberries. “Can I sit in the cart and have a snack now?” he asked after a while.

“Sure thing, kid. You deserve it.”

His face made clear that he agreed.

That smile returned later when, while listening to “C is for Cookie,” he found the C from among the magnet letters. “Can you help me spell cookie?” he asked my wife. Aside from the K, he found every letter himself, and he strutted upstairs to fetch me. “I spelled it on my own! Mostly,” he told me.

Obviously, as a parent, you don’t want to feed this sense of pride disproportionately. No one likes a kid with a big head, or a kid who thinks that the world needs to stop and take notice of his or her accomplishments. Sadly, the world doesn’t, and the world won’t. There are always haters out there. So part of our job is to manage those moments of hubris when we see them, and not build false expectations or feelings of self-worth in our kids.

What we do want is to nurture a healthy self-esteem. Stopping to notice those moments of accomplishment and achievement and showering a little love and attention on your child is a part of this.

A few times this week I crouched down to Felix’s level to say, “I’m proud of you, kid. You’re growing into a big boy, and I love you.”

“Thanks, Dad,” he replied. And we shared a man-hug, a warm hand draped over one another’s shoulders.

I felt good about myself in those moments too. Proud not only of the kid my son was becoming, but of the father I had grown to be in his presence.

By BRIAN GRESKO | April 26th, 2013 at 10:11 am
From http://www.babble.com/dad/a-little-pride-doesnt-hurt-building-your-childs-self-esteem/

The Case Against Grades: They lower self-esteem, discourage creativity, and reinforce the class divide.

ridodirected@gmail.com (RIDO) — Tue, 07 May 2013 04:28:00 +0000

By Michael Thomsen|Posted Wednesday, May 1, 2013, at 8:15 AM
From: http://www.slate.com/articles/

Should schools abandon the A to F grading system?

Photo by Ableimages/Digital Vision/Thinkstock

There is always something or someone to blame in our struggle for education reform. Sometimes it’s the “bad teachers” who get the blame. Other times it's standardized testing, insufficient funding, or slow-moving bureaucracy. I blame grades.

Grading students, from A to F, has become synonymous with education itself. Report-card day is an American rite of passage. Yet, there's reason to believe the structure of grading students is the biggest culprit in America's long, steady decline in education—SAT reading scores are at a 40-year low, and one recent study ranked the U.S. 17th in education, worse than Poland, Canada, Ireland, South Korea, and Denmark. It's becoming increasingly clear that the rigid and judgmental foundation of modern education is the origin point for many of our worst qualities, making it harder for many to learn because of its negative reinforcement, encouraging those who do well to gradually favor the reward of an A over the discovery of new ways of thinking, and reinforcing harsh class divides that are only getting worse as the economy idles.

A 2002 study at the University of Michigan found that 80 percent of students surveyed based their self-worth on academic performance—more than cited family support as a source of self-esteem. A 2006 study at King’s College showed adolescents with low self-esteem were more likely to have poor health, be involved in criminal behavior, and earn less than their peers. Since it’s overwhelmingly poor students who are prone to bad grades, a self-reinforcing loop is created. Poverty leads to bad grades and low self-esteem, which leads to more poverty and social dysfunction.

In its earliest forms, education was a Socratic practice of self-knowledge; an isolated act of enshrining religious traditions; or, most commonly, an informal transfer of skill on the homestead, with parents teaching children how to plant, harvest, raise livestock, or practice some craft passed through generations. That all began to change in 1792 when William Farish, a tutor and soon-to-be chemistry professor at Cambridge, became an early advocate of evaluating student performance through quantifying test results. A century later, the logic transformed into a letter-based scale first seen at Mount Holyoke College in 1897. By the 1930s, the ABC approach had been adopted by a wide group of schools and universities around the country and, not coincidentally, would be reabsorbed by a number of industrial interests, including dairy, beef, poultry, and plywood. (That’s some A+ plywood!)

These changes coincided with the rapid expansion of compulsory education in America, a legal standard that had been adopted by all 50 states by 1917. Grades were the foundation of this expansion, providing data points for a system in which one person would get a corner office and another would be lost to a life flipping burgers or changing motor oil. If you want to succeed in life, stay in school, get good grades.

The catch is that fear of negative outcomes has been repeatedly shown to be a major impediment to learning. A survey of students at the University of Cape Town found that stress and fear of failing tests led to "classic symptoms of procrastination and avoidance," confusion and low self-esteem. “ ... [I]t's one of those things where if I have to fail a test, I'm Like, ‘Oh my goodness, I can't fail a test.’ It's like a really serious strain,” one subject reported. Another showed the classic habit of grade-weighted failure leading to disengagement: “But I just didn’t like the fact that I had failed, so I just moved on to something else.” These responses are echoed by a number of studies that show students’ willingness to take on challenging tasks diminishes when grades are involved, but without grades, students left on their own tend to seek out more challenging problems.

John Taylor Gatto, a one-time New York State Teacher of the Year turned fierce education critic, proposed an education system built around "independent study, community service, adventures in experience, large doses of privacy and solitude, [and] a thousand different apprenticeships." Schools built on these values have flourished in the margins of state-funded, graded education throughout the 20th century.

The most famous example is the Montessori schools, noted for their lack of grades, multiage classes, and extended periods where students can chose their own projects from a selected range of materials. The schools have educated many of today's wealthiest entrepreneurs, including Google's Larry Page and Sergei Brin, Amazon’s Jeff Bezos, Wikipedia creator Jimmy Wales, business management legend Peter Drucker, and video game icon Will Wright.

A 2006 comparison in Milwaukee found that Montessori students performed better than grade-based students at reading and math; they also "wrote more creative essays with more complex sentence structures, selected more positive responses to social dilemmas, and reported feeling more of a sense of community at their school." Some contend that Montessori schools attract more affluent and successful parents, who give their children an inherent advantage, but the Milwaukee study was built around a random lottery for Montessori enrollment. All the children in the study came from families with similar economic backgrounds, with average incomes ranging between $20,000 and $50,000.

Free schools have taken the gradeless structure even further, treating the school as an open space where students are not only allowed to self-direct but are given equal responsibility in the organization and rule-making of the school itself.

The Summerhill School in England is one of the most recognizable and longest-running, founded in 1921 by A.S. Neill. Summerhill is built around the idea of creating stable, happy, and compassionate humans capable of filling any role in society—a janitor being no less a success than a doctor. In place of dedicated courses, students are free to follow their own interests while teachers observe and nudge them toward new ways of thinking about what they're drawn to. Students with an interest in cooking, for instance, might learn the basics of chemistry by way of thickening a sauce. Those drawn to playing soccer might learn to improve their game with some fundamental principles of Newtonian physics.

Schools inspired by the Summerhill model have flourished in recent years, with free schools operating around the country from Portland, Ore., to Sudbury, Mass. The Brooklyn Free School has earned attention for its open structure and regular democratic meetings, where students debate how to handle problems like boredom and whether playing video games on the school computers should be considered a learning activity. The higher tuition costs do tend to attract wealthier families with well-supported children, but many go out of their way to provide assistance to low-income families, favoring diversity over bill-paying. The Manhattan Free School in Harlem makes do on an annual budget of $100,000 and collects full tuition from only 20 percent of its students. The Brooklyn Free School operates on a sliding scale of tuition, collecting full payment from only half of its students, with some paying as little as $20 every few weeks.

It’s a common misnomer to assume no student evaluation happens in environments like these, but in most cases free-school environments require more teacher attention than traditional classrooms. Instead of testing for comprehension of a select group of facts or ideas, teachers constantly monitor a child’s behavior, support an array of student experimentation, and subtly encourage efforts that best match the student’s abilities. In free schools failure is not a punishment for bad study habits but the sign of students testing their knowledge to see if it holds true in practice. In our soccer analogy, success wouldn’t be evaluated by students scoring goals but in gradually learning how and why the ball curves in some cases and goes straight in others, a process that would surely produce many more misses than scores.

And free schools perform reasonably well. A survey of former students at Sudbury Valley School in Massachusetts found 80 percent of its students went on to college or professional school, and 20 percent enrolled in graduate programs. In 1998, 75 percent of Summerhill students who took Britain's certificate-qualification exams passed.

Abandoning grades would be a massive shock, but holding onto them has not forestalled decay, from waves of school closures for poor standardized test results to the trillion-dollar debt guillotine awaiting college students who'll struggle to win unpaid internships for all their hard work. Eliminating grades would not singlehandedly bring salvation.

There is a whole new world of challenges and complications in a classroom without pedagogy and rank. But it would be an ideal place to start anew, to stop motivating students, teachers, and underperformers with the fear of being flunked, fired, or shut down. Without that dysfunctional ranking we could instead form a child’s education around his or her eagerness to discover, contribute, and share. An A-to-F grade scale is only a distraction from that process and in many cases an outright deterrent. It’s time to admit that system has no place in our future.

By Michael Thomsen|Posted Wednesday, May 1, 2013, at 8:15 AM

From: http://www.slate.com/articles/

Guide to Building Self Esteem and Self Improvement

ridodirected@gmail.com (RIDO) — Thu, 12 Apr 2012 20:37:00 +0000

Article from News Olio

These simple tips are nothing but short sacred truths of life. They help to build your self esteem and self improvement. Learn them and find the courage act like your heart advises.

Negative Work Environment

Competition is good, cooperation is better. Dog eat dog is not the best approach to live the life for human beings. It seems that in this type of mediums the one who survives becomes a super personality. This is wrong! He or she just has better skills of eating other people.

Behavior of Other People

Just think about how many people are affecting you – all that brown nosers, gossipmongers, whiners, people walking wounded, controllers, complainers, exploders, patronizers – they are really changing you. At first this is not that noticeable, then you see that – wow, I am one of them!

Environment and Need to Change It

Changes help us to improve, welcome the changes – don’t be afraid of the changes. Just make sure that you are taking the best for your self improvement from these changes. Then you will be surprised to see that every change makes you stringer.

Past Experience

Any type of experience is good for you – if you survive. That is why even painful experience can be ok, if it improves you. Don’t let one time mistake transform into fear. Turn this mistake into lesson, learn the lesson and make it work for your success.

Negative World View

Let’s admit that this world is full of negative stuff. Sometimes you even think that all media and governments work to make it worse. Don’t let this negative stuff to have anything to do with you. You are incorruptive to this dirt. And even from the worst situations you can make the best out of them.

Determination Theory

We are not bound by our genes in terms of successes or failures. If your parents are a failure, it doesn’t mean you have to be a failure too. People are not born leaders or positive thinkers. This is gained with life. One can get some help during upbringing to be taught to think positively.

But even if you have not been taught, no problems – life is ready to share its treasures with those who are seeking for them. Just want it from the bottom of your heart and do what necessary, and it will come.

We all have equal chances to become better. Become better, be better, live better!

Article from News Olio

Teen Cutting and Self-Harm Behaviors

ridodirected@gmail.com (RIDO) — Sat, 07 Apr 2012 13:19:00 +0000

Cutting

By Vincent Iannelli, M.D., About.com Guide

Updated May 01, 2011

Article from http://pediatrics.about.com

Cutting is a type of self-harm behavior in which teens deliberately cut or scratch themselves with a knife, razor blade, or other sharp object, but not with any intention of trying to commit suicide.

Other self-harm behaviors can include head-banging, branding or burning their skin, overdosing on medications, and strangulation, etc.

Surprisingly, these behaviors are fairly common, and may affect up to 16 percent of teenagers and young adults.

Cutting

Parents and pediatricians often have a hard time understanding why a teen would start cutting or do other things to harm themselves. Not surprisingly, cutting is a complex behavioral problem and is often associated with a variety of psychiatric disorders, including depression, anxiety, and eating disorders, etc.

Teens who cut themselves may also be more likely to have friends who cut themselves, low self-esteem, a history of abuse, and/or thoughts of committing suicide.

Why do these children begin cutting in the first place? While it is sometimes seen as an attention seeking behavior, many experts think that cutting is a way for these kids to release tension, relieve feelings of sadness or anger, or simply to try and distract themselves from their problems. Of course, any relief, if it occurs, will only be temporary.

And while some of these teens who are cutting may have a friend who does it too or may have read about it or seen it on TV, most kids who start cutting state that were not influenced by anyone or anything else and got the idea for themselves.

Signs of Cutting

Cutting is most common in teens and young adults, especially teen girls, and often starts at around age 14 or 15.

In addition to being associated with depression and anxiety, teens who cut themselves are also usually described as being impulsive. Some are also described as being overachievers.

Signs that your teen is cutting may include that she:

always wears long sleeve shirts or long pants to cover new cutting marks or older scars on her arms, wrists, or thighs
routinely has suspicious cuts, scratches, or burns on her belly, legs, wrists, or arms
is developing symptoms of depression, anxiety, an eating disorder, or changes in her usual mood
has trouble controlling her emotions or emotional states, for example, your teen doesn't know how to handle herself when she feels sad or angry

Ask your child if you think she is cutting, or seek professional help first, but most importantly, don't get mad, don't overreact, and don't ignore your child's cutting or other self-harm behaviors.

Treatments for Cutting

It is important to seek treatment for your teen who is cutting, both to help with any underlying psychiatric problems, like depression or anxiety, and because cutting can become a habit they can't stop.

The S.A.F.E. Alternatives (Self Abuse Finally Ends) treatment program describes cutting as an 'ultimately a dangerous and futile coping strategy which interferes with intimacy, productivity and happiness.'

In addition to treating their underlying depression, anxiety, or other mental health conditions, teens who are cutting should be evaluated and treated:

by a counselor or psychologist who has experience treating teens with this condition
with others in a cutting or self-harm support group
when necessary, in a treatment center that has experience treating teens who harm themselves

Treatment for cutting will likely focus on helping the teen develop healthier coping mechanisms when faced with feelings of anger, stress, or sadness, etc., help boost their self-esteem, help manage other underlying psychiatric problems, such as depression or anxiety, and to make sure the teen isn't having thoughts of suicide.

An evaluation by a child psychiatrist might also be a good idea for further treatment ideas, which might include antidepressant when necessary.

Article from http://pediatrics.about.com

Self-Esteem Issues Impact Women's Future Success

ridodirected@gmail.com (RIDO) — Tue, 03 Apr 2012 10:55:00 +0000

31 MAR 2012 WDM Group PR Network

Article from Business Review USA

LONDON, April 1, 2012 /PRNewswire/ --

Lowered self-esteem among today's girls and young women could, by 2050, be costing the nation:

14% of our female managers in UK businesses

16% of our British female Olympic medalists

21% of our female MPs

17% of female doctors & lawyers

And reduce the chance of a female Prime Minister in the UK before 2050 by 18%

According to new research commissioned by Dove, this could become reality, as a lack of self-esteem among 11-17 year old girls prevents them from realising their full potential, with huge consequences for their personal and professional future. As Dove launches the 2012 campaign for Dove Self-Esteem Programme (DSEP), the extent of the issue has become clear.

The study reveals the shocking impact of low self-esteem, with the business world looking set to suffer. If the status quo remains, the UK could be deprived of 200,000 female business professionals and 42,000 successful female entrepreneurs by 2050.

Britain's sporting success will be hit badly too. Self and body-esteem issues could mean an estimated two to three potential female medalists drop out of sport and as a result, never step onto the winner's podium in future games.

Low self-esteem affects how young girls feel about their future careers with only one in three feeling confident they will have a successful career in the future. This has a huge impact on the medical and legal professions with the potential number of female doctors and lawyers reducing by 17%. That's a shortfall of 20,000 female lawyers and around 35,000 doctors by 2050.

The shocking discontentment felt amongst young girls about their appearance is at the heart of the issue. Nearly half (45%) describe themselves as 'average' and 'ordinary' with a further 10% feeling 'plain', 'unattractive' and 'ugly'.

As a brand that is dedicated to building positive self-esteem, Dove has developed the 2012 Campaign for Dove Self-Esteem Programme (DSEP) to make a real change to the way young girls perceive and embrace beauty.

Through the DSEP, Dove will be reaching out to young people in the UK through self-esteem workshops, which will be held in schools all over the country. Any Dove product bought between 26th March - 15th May 2012 will help to give a girl a self-esteem education. This will be delivered through a Dove donation of a minimum of £250,000 to BEAT (the UK's leading charity for those affected by eating disorders) to deliver workshops in schools.

Ali Fisher, Dove Marketing Manager, says: "We are passionate about our social mission and want to continue to help young girls and women develop a positive relationship with their bodies. We've already reached over 800,000 young people in the UK as part of our Dove Self-Esteem Programme and our aim is to reach 1 million by the end of 2012. We really hope to create a step change for self-esteem with our 2012 campaign."

Dove has also worked with some of its most accomplished supporters to highlight how low-self esteem issues, if not addressed at an early age can impact the number of successful women in the future. Successful women such as Chemmy Allcott (Olympic skier), Michelle McDowell (Civil Engineer and MBE), Jane Fallon (Author) and Karen Gill and Maxine Benson (MBE & founders of Everywoman) have been photographed by Rankin with their younger aspiring counterparts to highlight the importance of raising self-esteem among young girls and to ensure aspirations for future generations.

Karen Gill and Maxine Benson from Everywoman (an organisation that challenges and changes the mindsets of women in business) said they were saddened by the research but said it was repairable, "It should be every woman's mission to help eradicate self-esteem issues and this is why we are so passionate about the Dove Self-Esteem Programme".

With just over half (53%) of all girls believing that they would be happier if they were more beautiful, the reward for closing the self-esteem gap has never been so great, whilst the danger of failing to do so, equally profound.

Additional key statistics include:

Low self-esteem could cost the nation 62 female MPs by 2050 if the issue of self-esteem amongst young girls continues

Mum featured top of the list (37%) as the most positive role model for young girls leapfrogging well-known celebrities such as Cheryl Cole (8%), Angelina Jolie (4%) and Kate Middleton (3%)

Young girls are spending more time on make-up, beauty treatments and clothing than they are on homework

Social media portals may be hindering how confidently young girls interact with others face-to-face. A staggering 60% of girls using the internet agree that they feel more confident when interacting with people online

Notes to editors

Research

The effect of self-esteem was worked out by research organisation The Future Foundation which devised a model based upon our survey findings to calculate the impact low self-esteem has on 11-17 year old girls now and in later life up to 2050 when they approach their 50s.

Some 500 11-17 year old were extensively interviewed for the report "Girls Self Esteem - Potential Consequences for the Future"

which investigated a range of attitudes and behaviours surrounding self-image, personal care, relationships, future planning and future aspirations. It follows up research carried out by Dove in 2010.

Donation

Dove will invest a minimum of 250k in the form of self-esteem education. During the promotional period from 26th March to 15th May 2012, if more than 20 million packs of Dove are sold it will contribute an additional £10,000 for every 1 million extra packs sold to self-esteem education. This will be delivered via one-hour workshops in schools in partnership with Beat, who will facilitate their delivery. Teachers will need to apply for teacher training and / or self-esteem workshops via the Dove website.

Mums Supporting Self-Esteem

Mums wishing to find out more on how to support their daughter(s)' self-esteem can visit http://www.Dove.co.uk to access the Mother & Daughter Discussion Guide for 11-16 year olds & Mother & Daughter Activity Guide for 8-11 year olds

Workshops

Dove has developed the Self-Esteem Workshop Guide for Teachers, an educational workshop for 11-14 year olds that aims to give pupils the tools to build positive self-esteem and provide a platform for group discussion on image related concerns. The self-esteem education will be delivered via a one hour workshop in schools in partnership with Beat, who will facilitate their delivery. Schools will also be offered the option of a Beat facilitator working with them to train staff in delivering self-esteem workshops through inset days that Dove can reach even more young people with self-esteem education. Teachers will need to apply for teacher training and/or self-esteem workshops via the Dove website.

Rankin Photoshoot

Rankin was selected to photograph supporters of the Dove Self-Esteem Programme as he is part of the Dove Self-Esteem Programme Global Advisory Board

SOURCE Dove

Article from Business Review USA

Low self-esteem leads to drastic measures

ridodirected@gmail.com (RIDO) — Sun, 01 Apr 2012 11:35:00 +0000

Pursuing the myth of ageless beauty

By Malavika Kamaraju, Associate EditorPublished: 00:00 March 31, 2012

Article from The Gulf News

Dubai: Some of the strongest criticism from dissenters of the anti-age movement is reserved for the co-opted partnership of the age of materialism and the politics of self.

The myth of ageless beauty is the most-purchased mass market commodity of today. But this partnership is an opportunistic alliance, says American artist Chris Orapello.

Products and processes are created to fit into the single biggest context of the moment — ‘youthcentricity'.

"Did the market appear because there was a need or did the need arise because of the market? I would honestly say that they developed simultaneously over time," Orapello said.

Orapello sees self-worth as a highly adaptable element.

Building one's self-esteem requires us to willingly step through the many doors life continually opens for us, he says. "It permits one to find their true self, relieve oneself of the fear of age and come face-to-face with one's inner beauty," he said.

Drastic solutions

On the other hand, destruction of self-esteem occurs because there is "no building of the inner self and of one's inner beauty. Instead, people turn more to drastic exterior solutions — dieting, starvation, or cosmetic surgery — which can never correct or address the inner work that they may actually need and which could truly result in them finding the sense of completeness and fulfilment they may be seeking.

"Practices done in conjunction with inner development and to unite the inner and outer selves can be positive. Dieting and surgery can, of course, have positive effects in a person who is sure about herself," Orapello says.

Article from The Gulf News

Raising Confidence and Banishing Low Self-Esteem

ridodirected@gmail.com (RIDO) — Fri, 30 Mar 2012 09:58:00 +0000

29 Mar, 2012 13:50 CET

Article from Dakota Digital

Confidence and self-esteem issues plague thousands of people all over the country, causing many to view themselves negatively and altogether unrealistically. The characteristics of low self-esteem include social withdrawal, anxiety, lack of social skills, inability to accept compliments and accentuating negatives at all times. Many people with confidence issues actually appear to be outwardly confident – there is a difference between composure and confidence.

Building confidence can breed success in all areas of life, from relationships to work, from family to friends. Dolphin Hypnotherapy offer proven unique combinations of treatments for confidence and self-esteem issues, including cognitive behavioural therapy and various forms of hypnotherapy in Bournemouth. The treatments provide powerful suggestions to the unconscious mind which can help stop the feelings of inadequacy and help end such symptoms as the reluctance to take on new challenges or the unwillingness to put yourself first.

The unconscious mind is where memory, wisdom and perception are stored; it is the area of the brain where potential is held, as well as habits and self-image. By using powerful suggestions to touch upon the unconscious mind through hypnosis, confidence can be raised and self-esteem issues can be banished. Hypnotherapy to improve confidence and self esteem has been clinically proven to help with physical issues such as chronic pain conditions, reduction of pain during childbirth and elimination or reduction of skin complaints, as well as the mental problems associated with exam-related stress, weight loss, phobias, quitting smoking and many more.

Hypnotherapy is just one technique offered at the clinics in Bournemouth and Dorset; hypnoanalysis and NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) hypnosis are also used to great effect. Hypnoanalysis is concerned primarily with finding the root cause of the difficulties and removing it, whilst providing a safe place to discuss and remove these emotions. Nobody is born with low self-esteem; it is picked up later in life, and this hypnoanalysis treatment can help to pinpoint when and where the issue began, and remove the emotional trigger. NLP hypnosis is associated with curing phobias, but the overlap with cognitive behavioural therapy mean it is an also an effect remedy for low confidence in Bournemouth. It can help patients to overcome negative areas of their personality, which can lead to the distressing side-effects and symptoms associated with low self-esteem.

Dolphin Hypnotherapy offers a free initial consultation for those who wish to raise their confidence and banish low self esteem. To book or for more information, visit http://www.bournemouthhypnotherapy.co.uk/ or call 07790 333431.

Please direct press queries to Rebecca Appleton at Dakota Digital. Email Rebecca@dakotadigital.co.uk or Tel: 01623 428996.

Article from Dagota Digital

The Myth of Self-Esteem, a Waste in Effort - It Does Not Teach Wisdom

ridodirected@gmail.com (RIDO) — Wed, 28 Mar 2012 10:16:00 +0000

By Scott Bartley

Article from ezine

The myth is that there is self-esteem in the human makeup but in really it is only made up idea that people have self-esteem for you have to learn that it exist and what it means and how to feel about it and express your self-esteem. It is a idea that was develop within the Universities and then taught in classes and in order to get a degree in psychology you have to know it and it has been coded into psychological ideas yet it is very confusing idea. The facts are you can go to another culture and ask about self esteem and they would just look you, for it would have no meaning what so ever in that culture. So the whole idea of self-esteem is a new cultural made up idea about how you should think and feel while you interact with others in life and form judgment about your self and others with the idea of your self-esteem. Since self-esteem is a repackaged idea from the 70's of, "I am number one" that deals with a type of feeling that is produces emotionally within interaction with others that is base in fear within this culture. The self-esteem idea is like the idea behind "I am number one" leads to self-centered ness and narcissism which is a emotional numbness to lessen fear of self while there is interaction with others, for it is a protection of ones feeling of being out of place or weak and not knowing.

What makes self-esteem damaging ideas is believing self-esteem is part of a persons decision processing to do something that is good or harmful to one self and others. The idea that there is real self-esteem thoughts that are influencing a persons in any major way in their decision to behave that hurts others and them self can not be tested or proven. Is having low self-esteem (under the psychological ideas of self-esteem) feeling after person did something that hurts others, is that not good.

Example of a excuse using self-esteem as one of the causes of his bad behavior from a 13 year old male that was taught about self-esteem at his age and he has a problem in his self-esteem. He got into a fight at school and got kick out. In explaining his behavior and reason for the fight he used the self-esteem card as part of why he started to be physical with the another student. Understand he is in a family that has lot of emotional conflicts but self-esteem is not part of his problem yet he was told he has low self-esteem and now he is using it to give reason for his bad behavior and now the question, what can he do with his low self esteem but improve it but how. The way you improve self-esteem is think more highly of your self or love your self more which leads to become more self-centered which is more self love. There is a logic process to the development of self-esteem which is to form self love. The higher self-esteem leads to self-centered ness which can be seen as higher emotional state of self-love then the next stage of development in the logic to the ideas of self-esteem after self-centered ness is narcissism which is the height level of self love.

Self-esteem is what you think and speak about your self while you interact between others and if you have high opinion of your self, that is high self esteem. If you think and speak bad about your self you have low self esteem. Now here is the question. If you have low self esteem can a person behave in good way and help others? If person has high self-esteem can a person do hurtful behavior to others and them self.

Here is the another question, do people in general go and do special exercises to develop their self-esteem? If you can not do very special exercises to develop your self-esteem then it is not clear what self-esteem is and what can you do to enhance self-esteem. So if there are special exercises then everyone that does them would have develop their self-esteem to higher level therefore be great people.

The gyms should have programs to develop personal self-esteem through their exercise programs. Gyms can produce high self-esteem after work out when person looks in the mirror and see the affects from working out they can feel good. It does make you feel good after a good work out and your muscles are tight and larger. But then again it can produce low self-esteem after a good work out and you look in the mirror and the muscles are not large enough. Confusion of ideas here can exist within purpose that produce learned self-esteem emotional problems. Since self-esteem is made up idea to deal with confused emotional feeling cause by other sources.

To have high self-esteem is about what you feel about your self for its thinking (judgment is the question here and self-esteem does not judge right or wrong within emotional thinking) of one self in the best of light in what ever behavior person is doing within interaction with other people.

Thinking only good about one self produces a self-centered person for they have high self-esteem all the time and project that feeling to every one around them. To be self centered within interaction with everyone around you is that not expressing your love of your self which is high self-esteem. It is reasonable that the next level of developing self-love which is base in self-esteem is self-centered ness and the highest level of self-esteem is NARCISSISM which is complete love of ones self. Logic would dictate within self-esteem ideas and reasoning more self-esteem is best which develop into the height of self love narcissism.

The logic and reasoning process within self-esteem ideas and how it is being taught and thought of in the psychology world of use, a persons goal for development of high self-esteem leads to narcissism, a complete love of one self.

The biggest psychological problem today is narcissism in relationship and is not narcissists "self-love" and the ideas behind self-esteem is self-love is that not one in same. Making excuses base on self-esteem is a learned method, so person does not have to change their personal values in behavior and develop wisdom to work with others for all you need is high self-esteem, self-centered ness and narcissism and everyone can be fine. Self-esteem ideas are learned and within that process and the logic and reasoning will produce narcissism for its all about self feeling and not having emotional conflicts within person when they interact with others and get feed back about them self.

With high self-esteem it is told, you will have no emotional conflict, you will have pease of mind and emotions and others can not bring you down. The benefits to have high self-esteem, in the psychological ideas of today, you will have calmness of mind and body and you can be superior to others around you.

The reason self-esteem is a fad idea is, it did not exist in text books or popular book until about 90's. So all the great thinkers of the past in psychology miss a major idea of self-esteem as an important part of a persons basic makeup personality. Like all fads there is build up to the idea of self-esteem and it comes from the idea that child should not feel the emotional pain of losing in sports or in competition for it creates hurt feeling and that is a lose of self-esteem. Losing hurts when you work hard at something, that is fact but its life you learn more from losing then from winning but winning feels so much better. There is a real benefit to be learned from by working hard and its called character which forms the person emotional physical reality that is used within interacting with others for its the self being projected. You develop personal character from trying things in life and learning from losing and winning and become better at what you do. When you win that support what your doing is better then every one else. Losing means you have to improve and you learn how and creates meaning within what you are doing physically to affect your mental emotional.

The ideas behind self-esteem where not even talk about in the 50's through the 70's in colleges and in books. The idea behind self-esteem is to glorify self-centered ness (self-love) feeling while you interact with others and that promote narcissism.

The other clues that the idea of self-esteem is just a fad and made up idea for developmental feeling is in how professors redefine self-esteem to fit into psychological problems and justifying the ideas into human bad behavior and saying they did it because they have low or bad self-esteem.

Every culture, groups and family produces conflictive emotional feeling of some type that is normal and individual have to be come wise about that within their own personality and expression. We all have to find ways, so your individual spirit can realizes ways to express positive emotions in life. Wisdom is a good word to be understood and the realization within one self and to ENJOY the culture you where born into. Every culture is a struggle to produce goodness yet realize they could be wrong. Learning about your spirit within your physical being and the demands of the culture, groups and family is the test that makes person character, and from the development of character comes joy of your life and realization of what your were born into and the tests of competition. The word love is define within each culture a little differently yet it is in all culture for its energy bond between people within a physical being affected by chemistry.

Feeling are created within culture and its centered around physical fear of life that humans have. So every culture produces range of feeling and words that make those feeling clear and workable within the culture. Self-esteem is a develop idea to deal with what this culture produces in fear on a personal level. But the feeling and how to deal with the feeling that self-esteem is suppose to address with its ideas of self-esteem, is a psychological base ideas, to address this cultures emotional conflicts. People are spiritual being so there are two types of fears, unlike animals have only one, one is physical safety and how you define that danger to ones physical body. The other is emotional fear that your emotional reality will be attack which cause very strong physical pain. So there are physical and emotional fears within people make up and the ideas of self-esteem address emotional fear that affects physical body.

What is a better idea that individual can work from to develop a stranger personality and character to deal with this culture induce emotional conflict? The ideas and reason behind a Sociological word ANOMIE address the learned culture conflict of feeling being out of place with groups and one self. Since humans being are spiritual being they have to deal with psychological and sociology learned feelings and develop one self within context of life and expression of their good nature and fight to become strong within the contest of one self through interaction. Person only learns about them self through interaction with others and testing and developing your spiritual nature and the bond person have between each and with others.

Anomie is old sociological term to explain the emotional confusion of are culture and the struggle to over come personal feelings that produces fear. The short definition is "lack of purpose, identity, or ethical values in a person. A senses of rootlessness and disorganization, produces emotional conflict in the self and confusion produces fear. People take drugs because of ethical values for there are laws that where develop to fight that behavior for good reason and its base on survival of the society and the health of the person. When person knows the law and reasoning behind the law yet breaks the law by using drugs that is a ethical values issue where the persons ideas thinking is about the self wanting and not self-esteem. Emotions within ethical values are learned and realized through interaction with others and has to be supported within the groups otherwise their is emotional conflict of purpose. It is physically and emotionally exciting going against the group. Its testing the rules and if you can get away with it create feeling that your better then others.

People can affect and change emotional conflicts within the word anomie and its ideas and reasoning and logic within the interaction with other people for its deal with ethical behavior that affects on a person emotional state. The psychological word self-esteem which is base in self-love, leads to emotional distress and shut down of emotions which can be seen in the psychological emotional state of narcissism.

In today world of ideas there is a real need to have balance and understanding differences between sociological influences and physical psychological emotional affects on people in a general way. The idea of social order so people feel free to express emotions and develop them and not be out of place and condemn. With ethics people can feel and believe and have trust that lets emotions be dynamic and safe and life enjoyable. The culture confusing of ethics from drug use, crime and personal relationships and what is families has hurt everyone today and has made it harder to decide what is emotionally real and the affects on emotional behavior ability.and feelings for it has made it hard to develop ones emotional spirit to be connected to other people by not having trust in others to what you are doing.

Anomie the sociological term is culture base emotional conflicts idea being created by feeling different and not being connected to others around you. This condition does create emotional distress by the fact you can not trust others around you for its founded on disorganization, rootlessness which is not being connected to family, groups and trust between people will create high distress within groups of people. Every culture will have different degree of anomie but some have none, and how each person deals with the emotional conflict affects of anomie in a psychological way. So psychological feeling is base on two forces and it begins from with out, from the culture to family development leaned foundation of expression and emotional love connection within personal relationship. Then there is spiritual being taking in the culture he has be born into with his abilities.

Here are some suggestion that has created and has cause such high level of anomie that did not exist 50 years ago. Keep in mind there has been levels of anomie but the level today is far greater then in the past. In fact at the turn of the century the level of anomie compared today was very low for trust between people was so much higher. A mans word was his bond and people trusted leaders in business and business people trusted what each said. The rule of law as a influence between people conducting business was second to a mans word for the value of the spirit of deal was ruling forces not the letter of the law. The fact that the largest business traction was conducted on the street and hand shake and agreement for one billion dollars transfer was done in one day and on few pieces of paper and every one agreed to see the transaction as it was. The spirit of the business transaction was the heights idea and the law was there to support it. Now its about the letter of the law and fear, that you do not have enough letters in a contract to cover all the possibilities and not the spirit of intention of purpose.

In today culture lawyers are most powerful group in enforcing ideas and defining transaction. But the lawyer job is to not be clear so you can argue a opinion in court. The purpose of law today is not clarity between people but ability to take to court and argue a case and win. Lawyer are about winning at any cost and the biggest cost is truth. With out truth how can trust exist and you can not trust the courts of today to be far and clear. Anomie develop out of not trusting, feeling out place because you do not know the rules of game. In today culture being honest can get you into lot of trouble in court of law after lawyer get done with you. They have set up the rules of the game so honest man can not win for its up the his lawyer being better then the other one. Example juries do not see all evidence only what a judge thinks is right and they made up rules so good people can not make good judgment in a case of law.

Not knowing that your doing things right, is a state of anomie that produces emotional fear and how to deal with the culture reality of not promoting trust and the courts letting bad people off after hurting others around them. Not telling the truth by lawyer is so common now yet people want to believe yet they know they are not tell the truth. Lawyer are so powerful they can make up anything to win with no real problem created for them. Lawyer are trained to be "a moral" and immoral but NEVER MORAL. There is no right or wrong in principles to lawyer training and that carries over into their personality.

The fear of the law by common good people and the confusion of the law you can not understand it now, makes anomie exist in this culture for you can not trust and that affects person emotional state and ability with other around them it make fear between people for you may get sued and you do not know why so do not get to close to other people. Example of fear is working with children into days environment so good people stay way from interacting with children. But when you go to what is called primitive cultures males working and teach children with NO fear and the children are enjoying being close to adults. Today children are taught to fear adults and that was not the case 50 years ago.

This is only one example of culture induce emotional conflict that people have to over come the fear of life they live. It just has to take a good lawyer to do bad thing and your life that you knew is gone and you have no real personal power to stop it or change it for you have to trust in something you cannot trust produces emotional conflict.

Anomie understanding is far better to help people deal with confuse emotional behavior then the idea of self-esteem that can only lead to narcissism.

http://bartleyenergycoach.com/

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Scott_Bartley

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/1521214

Article from ezine

A healthy community promotes self-esteem and self-pride

ridodirected@gmail.com (RIDO) — Mon, 26 Mar 2012 10:59:00 +0000

9:47 PM, Mar. 17, 2012
Article from Marion Star

Written by
Jeannie Brewer
Guest Columnist

Why and how should our community get healthy? Boy, what a question. Why wouldn't our community get healthy? That's quite a question too. Instead of asking why, I ask why not? - paraphrasing George Bernard Shaw.

Being healthy can mean so many things. I feel that if we have a healthy community, we have a happy community and build esteem. One definition of healthy is: possessing or enjoying good health or a sound and vigorous mentality. I believe these two go hand in hand.

The question of "how" may be a bigger question. Does one have to join a gym or a diet group? No, but these are tools that can help keep one on track with goals. Setting reasonable goals are key to achieving results.

Some of the best and successful programs began with a few friends getting together that have a common problem of concern. Friends can relate to what the other is dealing with. There are books available or tools on the Internet that can be utilized for guidance. Some are free, such as SparkPeople.com.

There are groups meeting throughout the community talking about various health related issues; access to fresh foods, access to affordable foods, complete streets for biking as transportation, safe walking trails, monitoring body mass index in our young people, the list goes on. All good efforts with progress happening, but it takes more than meetings and people talking.

We can truly take our own destiny into our own hands. One step at a time we can improve our health and in turn improve the health of our community. Get to know your neighbors and start a walking group, safety in numbers too. Walk your child to school instead of driving them there.

Start a play group for children, but parents, don't sit and talk while the children are playing, play too. Climbing and going through a playground can be fun, challenging and a good work out, all the while setting a good example for our children. It helps that it's free too.

Call a few friends and start a discussion group. Marion General Hospital offers workshops periodically by their dietitians that can be a start of information for your group. Many physicians, including chiropractors, can assess and help get you into balance.

Eating healthy doesn't need to be expensive either. If losing weight is a goal, you don't have to buy a bunch of "diet" food, which can be expensive. Creating dishes from scratch with fresh ingredients can be affordable and enjoyable. There are plenty of books and cooking shows that explain, step by step, how to cook a dish.

Sack your lunch. Not only does this save you money, but it saves on calories, you control the portion and preservatives in the food. Many processed foods contain a large amount of sodium and other things for flavor and increase your intake above the daily recommendations.

Studies have shown that rest and sleep also contribute greatly to our health. Our daily lives are busy, I understand that, believe me. Being constantly connected to various devices, whether it's the Internet, television or my Blackberry, can affect health, please power down.

I've heard some say they have to listen to their iPod or iPhone to relax. Are they really relaxing or are they zoning? True rest is getting the mind to the state of unconscious. In yoga, we end our practice with shavasana; shava - corpse, asana - pose. This pose is about letting go completely, going back to the unconditioned mind, similar to a baby, no thoughts arising, just bare awareness. After shavasana, students feel rested, relaxed and good.

There are many benefits for our community to become healthy. We'll feel better about ourselves and each other, building our self-esteem and self-pride. Good health increases work productivity and attendance, which in turn attracts business. Increased health can decrease expenses in some areas including; decreased health insurance costs and the decreased need for medication.

Healthy communities are attractive. They're attractive to employers, visitors and citizens; you can just feel it and see it. When I am around a healthy and happy person, it tends to rub off on me and I begin to feel a little better too. The time to feel better about ourselves and our community is now. Together we can take our community, let me repeat that, our community to the next level of being healthy.

Jeannie Brewer is Aquatic Director for the city of Marion.

Article from Marion Star

‘Somebody Loves You’

ridodirected@gmail.com (RIDO) — Sat, 24 Mar 2012 01:48:00 +0000

A local resident and retired teacher writes children’s books that build self-awareness and self-esteem

By C. Zawadi Morris Email the author March 22, 2012

Article from Bed-Stuy Patch

One could say that Bed-Stuy resident Jwajiku Korantéma is in the business of building self-esteem.

Since her retirement in 2005, Korantéma has published three children’s books—all of them aimed at helping African-American children feel encouraged and loved and proud of their heritage.

Her first book, “I’m African and Proud,” started as a poem Korantéma wrote after she attended an elementary school assembly during Martin Luther King’s birthday.

“This teacher every year would make her students memorize and recite a part of King’s speech,” said Korantéma. “I met a woman at the assembly—a substitute teacher—and she was reciting the speech right along with the children, because she had learned it as well in that same third-grade class.

"And I said, ‘Wow, I want to leave something for young black children that they can remember and pass on.’”

At the time, Korantéma was a kindergarten teacher in Patterson, New Jersey, approaching retirement.

“One thing I noticed was that my young children really hated the word ‘African,’ and especially hated relating it to who they were. Because to them, Africans were naked and uneducated, since those were the only images they saw in the media.

"I wanted black children to know their real history and where they came from… let them know we’re doctors and scientists and thinkers and we didn’t start out as slaves or swinging from trees.”

So she wrote a poem, “I’m African and Proud.” It was an easy poem children could read, recite and remember. Eventually, she turned the poem into a book of the same title.

“I’m African and Proud,” was an instant hit, landing on Amazon.com’s best-seller’s list within a year of its publication. Excited, Korantéma hand delivered the book to her local libraries and placed it in every kindergarten through third grade classroom.

“It was so funny, because I wrote on the back of the book, ‘Retired Teacher,’ and I hadn’t retired yet. My principal, he saw the book and he said, ‘So are you trying to tell me something?’” she said, laughing.

In 2010, Korantéma published a second children’s book, “You Are Special, Beautiful Child,” followed by “Somebody Loves Me,” published in 2011.

“I mean, basically, you know, some of our children have issues, okay?” she said. “I have a 21-year-old son, and my books come out of my experiences with him. When he would fail at something, I would reassure him that his failure didn’t mean he’s no longer important to me or anyone else. I’d tell him, ‘You’re still special, and my love is unconditional, but you’re just going to have to keep trying and work harder.’”

Korantéma is now working on her fourth book, “What Makes Your Heart Sing?”

“It’s telling children to do what makes them happy, not just what will make you money—find out what your passion is, and follow that.

“Basically,” said Korantéma, “I promote self-esteem. Our children don’t hear enough that they’re special and beautiful. I want them to know every day that they’re beautiful and special in every way.”

Article from Bed-Stuy Patch

'What's Cool' conference will offer girls insight into positive decisions, building self-esteem

ridodirected@gmail.com (RIDO) — Thu, 22 Mar 2012 10:01:00 +0000

11:38 PM, Mar. 3, 2012
Article from lohud.com

SPRING VALLEY — Imparting the skills necessary for young women to feel good about themselves and to create a positive future will be the focus of a special program this month.

The 10th annual “What’s Cool” conference will address the topic of “What’s Cool? What’s Not Cool?” and is open to all Rockland girls in grades 7 through 12.

Participants will learn about making positive decisions, creating successful futures and building and maintaining self-esteem, said organizer Marcella Amorese, director of the Rockland Success Team.

“We want them to have a lot of fun while finding out that believing in themselves is really one of the keys to success,” Amorese said.

Today’s young women face many challenges, including pressure to live up to media stereotypes seen on television, in magazines, in the movies and in music videos. Many are also confronted by peer pressure to behave or look a certain way, and some have been victims of bullying, including cyberbullying.

Conference organizers hope to provide a place where participants can speak openly about the issues while also learning how to address them in a positive way, Amorese said.

The program will include skits to help the young women make positive decisions regarding drinking and driving, drug use and the importance of continuing their education.

The idea for the annual conference emerged after an AAUW study called “Violence in the Hallways,” which focused on bullying in the schools, Amorese said.

Over the years, the conference has also focused on materialism, sexual harassment and teen dating violence, among other issues.

Refreshments will be served, and each girl will receive a “goodie bag.” Community service credit will also be given.

Space is limited to the first 100 arrivals and Amorese suggested arriving at the March 24 conference by 11:30 a.m. The program is free, and no registration is required.

The event is sponsored by the Rockland Success Team, part of the Mental Health Association of Rockland County; the Rockland chapter of the American Association of University Women and Pow’R Against Tobacco.

Amorese is also assistant director of family services for the Mental Health Association.

Article from lohud.com

Mike Doyle: Event aims to help abuse victims

ridodirected@gmail.com (RIDO) — Sat, 17 Mar 2012 23:08:00 +0000

By Mike Doyle

RRSTAR.COM

Posted Mar 15, 2012 @ 03:00 PM

Article from rrstar.com

There are more than three million new child abuse victims reported every year, and, beginning this summer, a special camp will be provided for local victims.

The camp is called the Royal Family Kids Camp. Abused children ages 7 to 11 who have been in foster care spend a week at the camp in Lake Geneva, Wis., and begin to regain trust and build self-esteem.

To help raise funds, organizers are hosting the All About Hats Luncheon and Style Show from noon to 3 p.m. March 31 at the Community Building of Boone County, 111 W. First St., Belvidere.

“We are really looking forward to this first-time event,” said coordinator Nancy Ramos. “There are so many children in need. By attending the luncheon, you will help to make a difference in a young person’s life.”

The event, which is $20 per person and includes a chicken-salad lunch, is being coordinated through Lutheran Social Services and is sponsored by the First United Methodist Church of Belvidere.

Local residents will model the hats, which have been collected by Methodist church members. All proceeds benefit the Royal Family Kids Belvidere, which is affiliated with the national organization of the same name.

According to its website, Royal Family Kids was founded to provide camps for abused, neglected and abandoned children in the U.S.

“The solution for child abuse is to remove the child from the home,” said Ramos. “But unless you have therapy or offer a situation where the children can learn about self-esteem, they get stuck in a cycle. And that’s how the abuse cycle keeps going.

“We are showing that there is a different way of living through this camp. It’s all about family. We serve family-style meals. We have camp grandma and grandpa and aunts and uncles. We have a family.”

The camp, which will be staffed by a team of 40 volunteers, will benefit 30 children in Boone and Winnebago counties.

“A lot of kids are abused in Boone County and placed in foster care,” Ramos said. “But there aren’t that many foster families in Boone County, so many of them go to Winnebago County.”

The event also helps to promote National Child Abuse Prevention Month, which is held in April.

“It’s a good time to have the event and bring attention to the problem,” Ramos said.

For tickets and information, contact Ramos at 815-566-1977 or visit belvidere.rfkc.org.

100th celebration

On another subject, this column has been acknowledging the 100th anniversary of Girl Scouts, which was celebrated Monday of this week. While driving around the county this week, you may notice green balloons hanging from mailboxes or front doors. It means that a Girl Scout, an adult leader or a lifetime member lives there.

Mike Doyle’s column on people, places and things in Boone County runs Fridays in the Life&Style section of the Register Star.

Article from rrstar.com

Self-Esteem: The Best Insult I Ever Got

ridodirected@gmail.com (RIDO) — Thu, 15 Mar 2012 09:47:00 +0000

Dori HartleyAuthor, 'Angels and Echoes'

Posted: 03/13/2012 6:00 pm

Article from Huffington Post

A few days ago, I was told something that was so insulting, so unbelievably insensitive -- that my ego literally popped. The insult was vile on it's own, but the idea that a person would say something so potentially damaging to another was beyond me. Somehow, I immediately knew that it wasn't about the words as much as it was about the messenger. Though, let me tell you -- the words were off-the-chain, out-of-the-ballpark hurtful.

Point: Some people should never open their mouths. Ever.

Let's take it back; give you some history on me. Bad, bad, bad, bad cancer experience in 2001 -- survived nicely, divorced soon after, lost health insurance, moved twice, went broke, house foreclosed, got taken in an internet scam, yada yada and ten years go by without me having sex. Okay, now you're up to speed.

So, I start dating again. Nice guys, here and there. Nothing spectacular, just drinks, din din and some interesting conversation. I'm not really a sex puppy at this point, so all those previous years of no sex kind of works in nicely with my present style, which is sorta Buddha-dork-celibate-monk-nerd-writer-chick. Of course, guys seem to always want sex -- which is fine, because there are loads of women on the planet to have sex with -- I'm just not one of 'em.

And why? First of all, I haven't found anyone who turns me on and second of all -- it's hard being a cancer survivor; something happens to you after your body's been torn to shreds, rebuilt, ruined and reconstructed, y'know? Maybe for some women it's no biggie, but for me it was enough of a biggie. I just don't want to be manhandled anymore, emotionally and literally. Hey, it's my body and my life -- I do what's right by me. Unless, of course, you're so damned hot that I can't resist -- then we'll talk.

Nevertheless, I go and get myself semi-involved with this man who's totally into me, yet not quite ready to be totally into me. So, silly me, I mention this not really readiness to him and before you know it, we're eyeball deep into our first major fight. And that's when he hits me with the greatest insult I've ever received. I could not believe my ears.

"I'm making a concession for you. You -- a cancer survivor without insurance! Certainly I could have made a better choice."

So, I'm basically being told I'm damaged goods, a potentially massive burden, and that he's doing me a favor by being into me -- because how could anyone love a cancer survivor with no insurance? You're making a "concession" for me? You mean you've cleared aside something in your consciousness that will allow you to smooch something as awful as me? You're doing me a favor??? Oh no. No. And isn't that just the confidence booster that I needed on my first "real" excursion into the world of dating? I don't care how you try to rework this line to mean something less offensive -- all I register is evil. That is evil stuff, yo.

My ego, as I mentioned earlier, popped. I wasn't hurt -- I was incinerated. It was like the Big Bang, and the really awesome part about it was that after this ego-centric condition basically exploded -- it instantaneously contracted, really, really fast. My mind suddenly became "no mind" -- it felt like I'd been shot out into space where I was totally free from both the insult and my own reaction. I was having a spiritual experience!

One minute later, with the guy still on the phone, I no longer cared. Elvis had left the building. In my exalted state, all I recognized was that there was a negative energy on the other end of the phone and that I had to be rid of it. It was over. All of it. Him, the rush, the experience. Time to hang up the phone and contemplate.

Being a breast cancer survivor is a pretty amazing thing to be. Yeah, we go through a lot of body issue weirdness, but rarely do we end up hating ourselves as much as others might think we do. This guy focused on my survival as a thing that could potentially bring him down someday. Imagine if I felt that way? What would be the point of surviving if all I ever thought about was how I'm going to die of cancer -- someday? That's no life.

I love myself, just the way I am. I love my body and my choices. I have no regrets and because I don't dwell on all the things I don't have, it was surprising to see that others do -- or that others would even want to.

To life, to life, L'chaim. And, buddy -- don't let the door hit you on the way out.

Article from Huffington Post

How to break the brand-name grip on your kids

ridodirected@gmail.com (RIDO) — Tue, 13 Mar 2012 12:27:00 +0000

CRAIG AND MARC KIELBURGER
From Tuesday's Globe and Mail
Published Monday, Mar. 12, 2012 2:10PM EDT
Last updated Monday, Mar. 12, 2012 6:03PM EDT
Article from The Globe and Mail

The question

We've raised our two young children on second-hand clothing, but now they're feeling intense peer pressure to conform to expensive name-brand everything. How do I encourage them to stay true to our family's values without getting them ostracized by their friends?

The answer

Aeropostale, Hollister or Goodwill. A teen’s wardrobe is the most immediate and outward expression of their evolving identity. So telling your kids they shouldn’t worry about their peers’ fashion preferences may seem like the right call, but it’s not very helpful.

Kevin Murphy, a child psychologist in Vernon, B.C., and author of the trilogy The Jendorra Boxes, says there is a marked decrease in self-esteem during the formative pre-teen years that corresponds with a sharp increase in materialism.

Building a tween’s self esteem should help reduce their need for expensive name brands. But “it’s the ability to be successful at something of value that makes self-confidence robust in later life,” says Dr. Murphy, who recommends helping teens develop a multi-faceted identity through sports, music, volunteerism, faith or other activities that they are good at and that include them in a community. This reduces the tendency to anchor their self-esteem to a single dimension, such as the clothing they wear or the gadgets they own.

It’s not easy when you’re fighting against a commercial culture that feeds on kids’ insecurities in order to sell the latest fashions and trends. A good preventive strategy is to build consumer literacy by teaching your kids to “ad bust” from a young age. Discuss the ads your kids see on TV and elsewhere, and encourage them to ask, “What is this ad selling? What are they saying it will do for me? Is it true? Do I really need it or just want it? Will I be a better person if I own this or wear that?”

Consumer literacy also includes talking to your kids about the issues around consumer goods – where they come from, how they’re made, and how they affect the environment and the workers who make them – encouraging a lifetime of shopping with their eyes wide open to the impact of their choices.

And of course, there’s also the irrefutable parental stand-by to teach the real cost of the things: “If you really want that hoodie, you could get a job to pay for it.”

Instead of fighting the weight of peer pressure, bring your kids’ chums into the fold by showing them that second-hand clothes can be cool, too. One mom we know used to take her daughter and her friends into the big city for a full day of shopping at a second-hand superstore. They bonded over bargains.

There’s no magic bullet to slaying teen materialism, but good communication about budgets, bargains and brands is key. And sometimes, it’s also okay to let your child indulge in one or two special items.

Craig and Marc Kielburger co-founded Free the Children. Follow Craig at facebook.com/craigkielburger and @craigkielburger on Twitter. Send questions to Livebetter@globeandmail.com.

Article from the Globe and Mail

Self-Esteem and The Gift of Challenging People: Part Six

ridodirected@gmail.com (RIDO) — Sun, 11 Mar 2012 11:52:00 +0000

By NANETTE BURTON MONGELLUZZO
Article from Psyche Central

“Freedom is nothing but a chance to be better.” ~ Albert Camus

In this post we will look at dealing with difficult people, the second chance, and communication. Please refer back to the earlier posts by the same name in parts one through five.

Dealing With Difficult People

If you have identified a difficult person in your life, it is time for you to apply your knowledge, empathy, and skill building where your own self-esteem is concerned. People with personality disorders are people. They may be difficult, but this is because they have a disorder.

Someone with cancer may be difficult, and someone with a broken leg may be as well. We don’t throw people away just because they are challenging.

As you begin this journey, understand that you will never be able to change another human being. You can only change yourself. You can help others with advice, support, and knowledge.

The first step in addressing your difficult person is to stand back and separate out your feelings from the person. Is your difficult person suffering? Would you want to go through life being trapped in the cognitions, behaviors, interpersonal functioning, and impulse-control issues that they face? Of course, your answer is no.

OK, now you can relax and take a look at the concept of empathy. What would it be like to walk in his shoes? Once you have some empathy toward another, you can then proceed to the step of emotional availability.

Emotional availability means you will need to talk to her. Let her know that the relationship is important to you and there are things that need to improve. You don’t want to play therapist; you simply want to let her know you are a person too. Let her know that you are suffering as a result of her attitudes, abuse, verbiage, or hostility. If she is not in therapy, make a suggestion.

If you hit a wall and she cannot hear you, then you can say you will need to be limiting your interaction or time with her. Be clear that you are doing this to take care of yourself, not as a punishment to her. Remember, stay out of outcome.

When we stay out of outcome, it means we are not doing something because of an end result. Rather, we are doing it because it is either the right thing to do or it is something we need to do. If your husband has a drinking problem and you want to stay out of outcome, you might say, “I am having trouble with your moods and the loss of income due to your being unable to go to work.” An outcome statement is, “If you don’t get help I am moving out.”

In the second example we show an outcome expectation, but not in the first example. In life, it behooves us to make statements of observations of our feelings without a condition being placed on the other. Conditions are outcomes. An outcome is an expectation of change as a result of an interaction or verbal exchange.

We have responsibility to communicate fairly, clearly, and in a non-hurtful manner. We don’t know what someone will do with what we offer. That is not our business, as long as we did our part with compassion.

Next, give her a chance to talk. Listen to her. It may be that she sees you as the difficult person in the relationship and that there has been a misunderstanding. Listening is sometimes the best way to assess a situation. We can always learn something by listening to another person. We don’t have to agree, but wisdom come from openness to the point of view of others.

When speaking with the person, try to leave your emotions out of the picture, as they will only cloud the issues and make it harder for you to do the work that needs to be done.

What About a Second Chance?

After you have utilized, to the best of your abilities, the exercise of empathy and emotional availability, you will have to make the decision whether to give the relationship another chance. That decision is yours alone. If the person does not want another chance, move on. If you do not want another chance, move on. However, if you and the other party are willing to work–and it is work–then there is the possibility that the relationship with this person can be salvaged.

Before you go down this road, ask yourself the following questions:

Do you truthfully see the relationship getting better?
Why is the relationship worth saving?
What does the relationship bring to your life?
Can you honestly forgive the other person and move on?
Will you always have lingering doubts about the other person?
Can you ever trust the other person again?
Do you foresee any future joy or happiness with the other person?
Do all parties involved (direct and extended) support the attempted restoration?
If you have a positive feeling about these questions, it may be advantageous to move in the direction of restoration. As you move forward, the following suggestions can help you.

Communication

There are several methods to resolving conflict in relationships. The first step, of course, is to keep the lines of two-way communication open. This means that both parties will listen and speak. Few thing will be accomplished if this does not happen.

Why is listening so important? Listening is a basic survival skill for any animal, humans included. Recognizing the difference between listening and hearing is essential to positive relationships. Without the skill of purposeful listening, most communication is shattered.

Communication can be the single most important step in identifying difficult or challenging people, addressing challenging people, restoring and refining relationships that ere previously difficult, or eliminating difficult people from your life.

Take care,

Nanette Burton Mongelluzzo, PhD

Portions of this blog are from The Everything Guide to Self-Esteem by Nanette Burton Mongelluzzo

Article from Psyche Central

Letter: Team teaching worth saving in Ipswich

ridodirected@gmail.com (RIDO) — Wed, 07 Mar 2012 01:55:00 +0000

Ipswich Chronicle

Posted Mar 05, 2012 @ 11:28 AM

Article from Wicked Local

Ipswich —

Richard Howard deserves thanks for his linking of cognitive (intellectual) and social development as well as student self esteem to early childhood and kindergarten education. He points out in the Chronicle’s March 1 edition, “A child who does not come into first grade with both social and academic skills will be left behind.”

All the evidence points to the early years as having enormous importance. Yet Ipswich, and, for the most part, the rest of American school systems, have never taken full advantage of the opportunity that early childhood presents for the cognitive and social development of the young. Instead, pre-schooling and even full-day kindergarten, with rare exception such as Head Start, have been available only to families that can afford it.

There is another time that there is a spurt in the development of children and that is the middle-school years. Not only are the obvious (and I believe overrated physical changes associated with sexual development) taking place, but also there is the possibility of enormous growth in other developmental domains notably the cognitive, affective, and social. Children in this stage of development have the opportunity to learn how to form concepts and think abstractly; to develop attitudes and values and to build them into systems that inform their actions; and to interact effectively and ethically with others, with their school and political communities, and with society in general.

Since the new building was completed, the Ipswich Middle/High School has done a superb job of dealing effectively with the opportunity presented by the middle-school years. This was mainly due to the adoption of the team teaching model and by demanding that the design of the new building would support that model of learning and teaching. The model calls for a team of subject-matter teachers and a group of students working together all year, with support from specialists and the principal, to attain educational goals set by the team, the school and the state. The burden of success or failure rests on all the team members collectively. Unlike some educational reform now being touted, it is not designed to blame individual teachers, but to encourage all teachers to work more effectively.

Ms. Cheryl Forster-Cahill, the current principal, deserves most of the credit for having the vision for adopting the team model for the exciting middle-school years and the pizzazz to battle for its implementation. More than anything else, the Middle School with its team teaching model; its “kivas”; flexible schedules decided by teachers in terms of what is best for their student’s growth; the seamless integration of technology into the curriculum; and teachers taking command of and responsibility for outcomes put the Ipswich schools on the educational map.

The team-teaching model of fostering the educational development for middle-school students in a physical environment that supports the philosophy behind the pedagogical model has worked beyond expectations. The Ipswich students in the middle-school grades consistently score among the highest in the state, particularly in math and it must be kept in mind that while the U.S.A. does poorly when its 8th graders are compared with similar kids in other industrial countries in math, Massachusetts kids do better than similar aged kids in almost all those countries. This means that our 8th graders have been among the tops in the world in international tests of math achievement.

I was appalled when I read in your latest addition that the School Committee is considering firing so many middle school teachers that the team teaching model will have to be scrapped while at the same time it has decided to hire a new principal to replace the irreplaceable Ms. Forster-Cahill.

Clearly wisdom should have dictated waiting a year or two while maintaining the teams before going into the market to find the rare someone who might have the potential of being another Forster-Cahill. I am almost certain that the able Middle School teachers who have worked together in teams for a number of years now could have been able to manage their teams. They would have needed some help from the other three administrators in the building as well as from the staff at the Central Office but in time they might have come up with a new paradigm for the administration of team taught middle schools.

But we will never know because the sort of creativity, vision, and spirit of experimentation that schools, as educational institutions, should model for their students is no longer a part of the Ipswich Public Schools. Instead the teachers will revert back to their individual autonomous classrooms, shut their doors, and do pretty much what they want to do, ignoring their colleagues as much as they want. This might make life easier for administrators who fear teacher empowerment, but it won’t help kids. What a loss. Ed Traverso — Ed Traverso, East Street

Article from Wicked Local