i recently got into a verbal, then physical argument with the girl of my dreams. i took total advantage of her. she moved 2 hours away from her family to be with me. i have two kids. she loved them like they were her own. i have a drinking problem that i want to fix, i just ignorantly dont, and now its too late. i literally lost everything that i was happy with, due to drinking. i screwed up my kids’ emotions and really ended up hurting my ex. i dont know how to feel or what to do.

Well, I flunked that one with with flying shades of black and greys. Seems I have a very low level of self-esteem …..no big surprise since it has been folded, spindled, and mutilated since I can remember.

Hello im new im a full born guys , guy a real guy no metro-sexual here(not that i have a problem or care about it).  Anyways when i was a kid growing up 2-3 yrs up to 12-13 my dad was around and he was old school hispanic latin american man(unfortunately that included the woman/child beating) …anyways thats besides the point , At some point my dad was forced to leave by law(and it is my fault…Only now do i realise the lessons i needed to learn and could only learn through a good hard beating/smacking/spanking) lets face it as an 85 year kid im probably like one of the few the last gen of real man (dont believe me go look at combat stats…besides that) So that means i get in trouble. I have done things , things that have lasted in my mind for a long time , im 26 alot would say it’s to young for being in the circumstaces i find myself in , yet its the truth. My point is i recently have found myself to be lost and not sure what to really do and the implications could be huge. I am a male , a beer drinking , combat loving , realistic , athletic , competative and non giving up male. Pure and simple , i do what i do because it needs to be done i can survive and have proven that to myself and others. Yet for all my accomplishments i am looked at many as…brutal , inferior and some what globaly destructive. Im here because ive been raised to think that females are more important than males but because i am male that is somehow wrong. I found more than a few videos , many of which are actually made and produced by females. My point is i have found myself from times past basically subdued , quiet , some might even say hollywood or fake and for me that was the real lie and now im confused , is it wrong to be a good fighter? wrong to be a man? i mean i dont beat women that is wrong , but is it wrong to stand up on your two feet and be yourself ? when did that become a crime? Its this way of thinking that has me confused maybe even worried. Im no dead beat dad , but im  no Mrs. Doubt-fire either. Reading and seeing so many posts has me wondering how long have i really been confused?????

Communication is the art of expression. We communicate in many ways: body language, sign language, looks, touch, and more. Whatever form we use, communication is how we connect with ouselve, God, people, animales – the world. But one of, if not the most powerful form of communication is words. According to the Old and the New Testaments, and Kabala (the mystical side of Judiasm), words created the universe.  Whether spoken, written, or thought – words continue to create our world. Think about it. Everything that we have made on this earth has started as a thought and was then communicated before it was made.

Words also have the power to hurt or heal. For better or for worse, words have a physiological effect on people and their bodies. We don’t even have to speak words for them to have power. Walk by a stranger on the street and think a positive thought at the same time. Then notice the stranger’s instantaneous reaction. Words are living things. They can heal, but they can also hurt and deceive. How many of us have been hurt by words spoken in anger, or felt betrayed by believing lies? Who hasn’t had to undo the damage done by being tagged with a certain adjective – from dumb to unforgiveable? Just think about how your words effect those around you, especially the people that you are close to, such as your family. Also, how do other people’s words effect you? Would you like to be better at communication?

OK, it’s time for a little self-observation experiment! For one week straight, spend one hour each day practicing “silent presence“. Pay attention to how you feel, what you are doing, your breathing, your feelings, and thoughts. Shut off the phone or don’t answer it. No email either. No TV and no music. You can go for a walk, pray, meditate, or something else that is strictly peaceful and alone. But no reading books or magazines, or doing crosswords puzzles – nothing of the sort. If you live with other people or have children, you may need to talk with them. If so, please be “present” for those conversations. It doesn’t count if you do this activity at night while you are waiting to fall asleep.

During this time (remember, it’s only for one week), that you are doing this activity, practice ”presence” for all of your conversations, before and after your one hour of “silent presence“. Instead of waiting for people to stop talking, listen to what they say. When you are done with every conversation, recap what was said. If you can’t, you didn’t listen. Stop answering call waiting for this week also. Let people leave a message unless you’re waiting for  true emergency or very important call. After the week has ended, if silence is still uncomfortable, do the activity until you enjoy “silent presence” as much as communication.

What does this little experiment teach us? It teaches us to listen. You will learn to listen to everything about yourself, the conversations that you have, and also the other side of your conversations (other people). You will be present for yourself, your conversations, and the spaces in between.

The table below is the result of a poll on www.mensselfesteem.com ‘s front page. It’s amazing to see how many men consider themselves  “losers”!  When you look at yourself in a mirror, what type of person do you see?

When you look at yourself in a mirror, what type of man do you see?
a loser		50%
an average guy		31%
a great guy		9%
a follower		0%
a leader		9%

The all NEW www.SelfhelpCourses.org is now online! Self-help courses are for your use and education. All self-help courses are in-depth, complete and hard hitting in their scope, and give you very real tools for dealing with every-day life matters. These self-help courses are for your “education”, and are not designed to measure for placement (for example: your current amount of stress). Course length is approximately 4 to 6 hours.
Current courses available are:

We are still in the process of developing additional courses. Our next course is expected to be about “Codependency”.

Book Review Date: November 25, 2009

The Shack

 Author: William Paul Young

Publisher: WindBlownMedia.com

Pages: 252 Soft cover

ISBN-13: 978-0-9647292-3-0

About the Author:  William P. Young (Paul) was born a Canadian and along with three younger siblings was raised among a stone-age tribe by his missionary parents in the highlands of what was New Guinea (West Papua). The family returned to Canada where his father pastored a number of churches for various denominations. By the time he entered Canadian Bible College, Paul had attended a dozen schools. He completed his undergraduate degree in religion at Warner Pacific College in Portland, Oregon.

“Book Review”, About the Book: “The Shack” will have a gripping power on you like no other book. This is a very personal story about many people, but mostly from one man’s point of view and his experience with horrible tradegy, and finally a most wonderful experience directly with God. ”The Shack” will grab your very soul. I have read hundreds and hundreds of books, and very few have taken me away like this one. I laughed, I was humbled, I was horrified, I smiled, I trembled, I was bewildered, I wondered, and I cried. And I cried some more. As I read more and more, I searched my own core beliefs about God, and now that I have finished reading “The Shack”, I have to wonder if this book has changed me forever. I’m sure it has. Talk about self-help; this book along with some basic knowledge of the bible, may contain the answer to all your problems.

Book Reviewed by: Michael Lafrinere

More information can be found on the following links:

http://theshackbook.com/

http://theshackbook.com/missy-project.html

http://windrumors.com/

MensSelfesteem.com recommendation: MensSelfesteem.com highly recommends “The Shack” to anyone that has not found their way. If you are lost in your knowledge of who God is, how it all works, the trinity, what the bible really means, what is real love, and what is life, then “The Shack” will reveal it all to you. You will be changed forever.

The Shack Is available for purchase. Just Click the Book Cover Below.

 The Shack

Self-help Wiki

The Self-help Wiki is now online! The Self-esteem Team has been working hard to get this HUGE section of the website up and running.

The Wiki runs just like wikipedia, in that any visitor to the site gets to add or edit information directly into the website. It has many different categories to choose from and you get to add information to the site and you don’t even have to login! All that we ask is the content that you enter should be directly related to the subject category. Remember, this is a self-help site and 1,000s of people use the site every day. Anything that you add to the site will be seen. Additionally, anything that you enter could be changed by anyone else that enters the Self-help Wiki. You can even upload images to the site for your articles and page additions.

Go to http://www.selfhelpwiki.org

Selfhelpwiki.org is owned by mensselfesteem.com