During these moments, it can be of great help to remind yourself with some comforting words that can inspire you to keep going. All you must do is to determine the right words to encourage yourself to keep fighting your life’s battles instead of giving up right away. Be sure to change your perspective. Here are the five comforting words to keep in mind at all times:

“Things Happen For A Reason”

You have to believe in the process of how things unfold in your life. Whether you like it or not, the truth is that things happen for a particular reason. You did not get the job you want because it is not meant for you. Something better will come your way. Your relationship with an ex ended because you deserve to be with someone worth it. These reasons may not unfold right away, but you will soon realize that they make sense. As such, stop stressing yourself about it.

“There’s A Rainbow After The Rain”

Cliché as it may sound, but it is also a reality that life is not filled with dark days all the time. There will always be a way out of the misery that you are going through at the moment. You need to believe that things will turn out fine soon. It is not going to be easy to find comfort in these words, especially if you have been suffering or struggling for a long time already. However, you have no other option left but to remain positive that someday, the sun will shine again in your life and you can be happier than ever.

“Many People Love Me”

Learn to accept the fact that several persons in your life are willing to help and assist you at all times. These are the ones who love you as a friend, a family member or a loved one. Make sure that you accept their willingness to be at your side, especially at times when you need them the most. Stop thinking that these people only pity you because such kind of thinking can make your current situation worse. Instead, believe in their innate goodness. They want to help you with your struggles because you are a particular part of their lives.

“I Can Do Anything I Set My Mind To”

Another thing that you have to remind yourself is that you are a powerful individual who can turn her life around. As already mentioned above, it is time to change your mindset about how you look at things. What do you want to change your life? Is there a particular situation that you want to improve? Do you think that now is the ideal time to change your old ways and start something new? Believe that you can accomplish everything that you set your mind to. You will be surprised or amazed at how it can drastically bring abundance in your life.

“Not Everyone Is Going To Like Me”

This is another set of comforting words that you have to tell yourself always. It feels liberating to recognize the fact that not everyone in your life is going to like you. Some people will judge you regardless of all the efforts you make to show them that you are a different person. As such, it is best if you will focus on your wellness instead. Do not let others affect you, even the naysayers who talk behind your back. Nothing you do or say will ever change their mind. Hence, shift your focus and energy to things that truly matter.

Make it a top priority to comfort yourself in times of troubles and challenges. You can get through these moments!

One of the many reasons why online therapy has become an enormous hit to troubled individuals is its promise of giving help anywhere the person may be. That is something that conventional therapists cannot provide, considering they want to meet the client first before they offer any advice. Thus, the ones suffering from depression who also do not want to risk being seen by their acquaintances in a mental health facility tend to keep to themselves without getting psychological assistance at all.

Now, regardless of who you turn to, you should know that everyone will say that your healing will depend on you. So, here are some practical ways you can try to overcome depression today.

Bring Out The Child In You

Depression can make you look old or feel old because it’s a fact that depressed people have only three facial expressions: frowning, angry, and poker face. For you to be able to get out of it, you need to try to go back down the memory lane and do again what makes you happy when you were still a kid. After all, those were the untainted, innocent things that you did before you had all the materials that money can buy. Once you manage to do so, you can start getting out of the depressive abyss.

Confide To A Stranger

I’ve done this before, and it’s absolutely true. I chatted up an old lady on the bus whom I’ve never seen or met anywhere before, and I was able to tell her about my significant worries. E.g., feeling scared to say to my parents or friends about my decision to quit college and thinking that they might misunderstand me. But you know what? I felt so much lighter afterward. Sometimes, problems are easier to talk about with strangers because they are like blank slates; they’re very objective, until such time that you confide to them.

Detoxify

Chemicals are not the only things that can be poisonous to a person; there’s too much work, family problems, or even an annoying colleague that might try to bring you down. If you are overly depressed with any of these, go out of town for a few days or retreat to a place where you won’t be able to see any of the things that I’ve mentioned above so that your troubled mind can have the chance to relax and detoxify.

Eat Healthier

People say that you have to look good to feel good. That’s why if you’re depressed, you need to watch your food intake. Without a doubt, you’ll be depressed more if you feel that you can’t button up your pants anymore or your arms can’t even get into the armholes of your once loose shirt. So, chop, chop on the carbs and fatty foods, folks!

Exercise Regularly

Burning off your excess energy to the massive and sweat-stimulating equipment in the gym or doing yoga can help you relax your mind and have a lighter outlook in life. Do it regularly to become fit not just in the body department but also in the brain department.

Experience The Bliss Of Quietude

There are times when a person has to retreat in the comforts of quietude to be able to get back on their feet. If you’re someone who has stumbled on the rocky part of life and you’re having a hard time in standing up, try to stay tranquil for a few moments so that you can clear your foggy mind. After you’ve done that, you’ll feel much better.

Fix Minor Problems

One primary reason why people go into a state of depression or severe anxiety is that they have a lot of overlapping problems that they don’t know anymore which one to handle first and which one can wait. I suggest that you take a deep breath and fish out the minor problems first before you start tackling the bigger ones so that all your worries will be gone in no time.

Free Your Emotions

Technically speaking, the ones who can’t talk to anyone about what’s bothering them are the ones who fall deep into depression. If you’re not ready to tell someone about it then at least try to find another outlet for your kept emotions. You can shout at the top of your lungs or break all your kitchen wares on the wall if the sound of the crashing glasses and porcelains can make you feel better. Make sure that you’ll throw away all your heartaches with any of them so that you won’t have to do it again.

Final Thoughts

Depression is supposed to be an incurable mental health illness according to the medical experts. There is no drug available that can get rid of it; the therapists need to try different treatments as well for every patient. What they hardly emphasize, though, is the fact that the cure is within the troubled individual.

Follow the suggestions above to start healing from depression.

Some variables and factors go into judging someone’s personality. But how would a person know if one’s character entirely represents that particular individual? There are cases that not all people show their true selves to others. That can quite become tricky because dealing with someone needs to undergo pressure, extreme effort, long-term relationship, and biased judgment.

What Makes A Good Personality?

Be A Better Listener – There’s a need of becoming an active listener to suit an individual with a great personality. Since communication is one of the best skills a person can have, listening becomes an asset. Because when he listens, it’s not just about using his ears. Hearing the words that come out from other people doesn’t represent a good listening practice. The body, mind, and mental aspect, must have a connection. It provides inclusion of eye contact, gestures, conversational engagement, and response.

Become More Interesting – Becoming someone that a person is not is always a bad idea. That’s because it leaves a vulnerable impression that sooner or later becomes a reason for adverse impacts. However, becoming more interesting is possible when there’s an active engagement on information and education. Meaning, an individual should not limit himself in trying different and new things. Because the more stuff he attempts to do, the more activities he engages with, the more things he knows, then it is more likely that people will find him interesting.

Practice And Adapt Optimism – A positive outlook in life affects other people. That’s why most of them consider being friends with someone who never gets to see the negativity of some crucial situations. It becomes an advantage because the good in everything becomes something that others can look forward to. Honestly, it is an asset that a person can entirely acquire. As long as he accepts and acknowledges his attitude of continually thinking about negative stuff, there’s a more significant chance that he can work on developing a better perspective in life. When an individual tends to look at things a little bit differently, it can potentially bring an immeasurable impact.

Be Encouraging And Supportive To Others – A good personality is not just about how a person treats himself, but also how he treats others. A mere “good luck,” good job,” and “you can do it,” sometimes give it a fix. An encouraging person is for keeps because he solely understands the value and effort someone has to put in a specific situation. Whether it’s a job interview, relationship matters, family disapprovals, etc., he knows how to find the right words that light up a situation. Most of the time, this type of person is someone that is willing to raise others through positive energy without asking for anything in return.

Treat People With Respect – Every person’s integrity matters. However, it is not enough to use it to disrespect others. Talking bad about other people, making fun of them, and gossiping behind their backs, are only some of the examples of bad behavior. No one wants to feel humiliated because they don’t deserve that kind of treatment. Treating someone with respect is like giving him an opportunity to grow and develop himself along with positive encouragements.

Always Be Yourself – One of the most significant rules of having a great personality is someone sticking to his self. Since most individual often gets caught in the cycle of trying to be someone else only to please others, it becomes the biggest mistake of their lives. When an individual becomes different in different social circles and suddenly decides to stick to his personality, he loses everything. That particular change can make others doubt, hate, and feel uncomfortable.

Learn To Laugh At Yourself – It’s understandable that this particular thing is more comfortable said than done.  But when a person can have the courage to secure and have a sense of willingness to know his potential, it becomes a good start. That’s because a good person doesn’t mean taking everything seriously. Sometimes, even the attitude of feeling good about himself and being comfortable about the things he does are significant assets.

A good personality works better in the formation of good traits. As long as the person does everything he needs to do to develop and facilitate his confidence, things will work out just fine. The thing he needs to focus on is the attitude of accepting, believing, and knowing who he was. Not only for the sake of personal agenda but also the value he brings to the people around him and the world.

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My life crashed ten months ago when my husband of fourteen years left me for an older woman. Yes, you read that right – older woman. I know the usual thing nowadays is that 40-ish men would go for 20-something women. But no. My husband “fell in love” with a mature lady who is seven years his senior.

Well, that’s not my main point. My issue here really is that he left me and my world just fell into pieces. It was so easy for him to do a 180-degree turn after 14 years and two kids. I thought we were good together. He didn’t say anything. We didn’t even have any fights at home. When he told me he’d be out with friends, co-workers, or will be at work doing overtime, I believed him. Well, his mistress is his boss. He would gladly be in the office more than in the house, right?

I crashed. I hit rock bottom. The pit was my home for several weeks. I just lost it. Why? Well, first, this was my life for fourteen years. It was the only life I knew how to live and tread. I mean, I thought this was me and us forever. I was happy, supposedly. And this happens, shakes everything up to the core with a bitter ending. That’s just it – it’s an ending.

Looking back, he provided for the kids and me, and of course, I gladly took on the role of being a stay-at-home mom. I took care of them all at home, prepared their meals, cleaned up after them, washed and pressed their clothes, made those bake sale cookies, whipped up some cupcakes for his company team building, and just about everything. I tried to be the perfect wife and the best mom there is, but it seems my husband didn’t find me complete.

And so, I didn’t get up for days. I didn’t eat nor did I try to freshen up. I was slummin’ it. But then, my mother and my sisters intervened. They came to my house one day, barged in as if they own it, and literally, they pulled me out of bed.

My sister threw me inside the bathroom and turned the shower knob. It was so cold, and I was trembling. She told me one thing that opened my eyes – “HEY, SILLY YOU, WAKE UP. I WANT MY SISTER OUT RIGHT NOW.” My mother continued – “HE’S JUST A MAN. YOU ARE 40 YEARS OLD, AND THE WORLD IS IN YOUR HANDS. DON’T LET HIM ENJOY HIS LIFE WHILE YOU’RE IN MISERY.” By then, I was crying so hard because you know what, they’re right. They are 100% correct. I shouldn’t be doing this to myself. I should be fighting back. I should reclaim my life and make a better “me” from now on.

I cried so hard during that shower moment. But when I was done, I have cried out everything. And I do mean everything. Me, my mother, and my two sisters went to the dining room and sat down. We drank hot chocolate and binged on chocolate chip cookies. My other sister suggested that I should make a game plan. She handed me a journal and told me to write of ways to improve myself. And so I did.

Lose weight.

Eat healthily.

Go out every Friday night.

No more alcohol.

Take a daily 10-minute walk.

Check online for lessons.

Try therapy once a week.

File for divorce.

This is about me now. It is about me moving on from that stagnant fourteen years. I’m not thinking of him and the kids. I will be thinking about me and how I can be at my best.

Your partner has ADHD. So what? A behavioral issue may be complicated, but it can be managed. The stress and anxiety associated with ADHD must not ruin two people who are in love. With that, here are some insights on how you two can work on your relationship, amidst the issues and complications.

Tips For The Non-ADHD Partner:

• Your spouse’s ADHD cannot be controlled, but your response is controllable. Avoid continually criticizing them as it will get you nowhere.
• Always be encouraging to your partner.
• Don’t focus too much on their actions but focus on their intentions.
• Nagging and micromanaging them can only discourage your partner.

Tips For The Partner With ADHD:

• Don’t pretend that your symptoms aren’t affecting the relationship or that it’s just your partner’s fault. Be self-aware.
• It’s up to you to manage your symptoms through treatment.
• Calm yourself down when emotions are running high before talking
• Always make your partner feel loved.

Stop Fighting And Start Communicating.

Miscommunication is what makes couples fight rather than solve the issue. To have better communication, make sure that you and your partner have cool heads. Don’t talk when both of you are running high on emotions. This way you’ll find the root of the issue.

Example: A non-ADHD husband comes home hungry, but there’s no dinner yet. He feels uncared for because of how his wife tends to be irresponsible. The wife in return feels judged and criticized. Solving this problem will be easier if you address the main issue first. The husband should know that the wife’s lateness isn’t part of her character but rather a symptom of ADHD. The wife should understand that her husband would appreciate her making dinner on time.

Don’t Bottle Up Your Emotions.

Even if it’s ugly, you have to be honest with your partner. Try to talk to your partner about your feelings since bottling it up will cause so many issues, both physical and mental. Just take a deep breath and release the bad air out. Breathe in and breathe out before you two talk. Sit down and face each other while you talk – no raising your voice.

You’re Not A Mind Reader.

Don’t assume what your partner thinks of you. If you’re upset about something, talk to them rather than making assumptions. Talking is the only way to communicate, with or without ADHD effectively. But again, talking must be done appropriately. No fighting and no shouting. Keep your cool and be calm when speaking to your partner. If you must raise a point, then fight fair.

Be Tactful.

Word yourself in a way that it won’t make your partner defensive. Be sensitive to him or her as much as you can handle. Some words spoken on impulse or out of context can hurt your partner deeply. It will not fix your situation by being like that.

Find Humor When A Situation Gets Heated.

One day you’ll laugh at these misunderstandings. Try doing it sooner than later. There is no need to keep the pride up by insisting that you are right all the time.

Having an ADHD adult partner is a circus life, but as with the circus, the rides can be so fun at times. You will feel alive when you are with this person. But if the ADHD symptoms act up, and it will creep up when you least expect it, remember the tips mentioned here.

No amount of chocolate can help when you are going through a painful breakup. Admit it or not, sweets, exercise or whatever you read on breakup blogs are just band-aid solutions that can make you feel better temporarily but at the end of the day, it won’t heal anything especially if your heart is broken to million pieces.

What should you do after your relationship ended? Instead of adding more inches to your waist by indulging in sinful foods, there are proven and tested tips that can help you become a stronger and better person after you’ve been forsaken by the love of your life.

Tips to Get Over a Breakup

Get a Makeover

It may sound cliché but having a new haircut or buying a new set of clothes after a breakup is proven effective to relieve stress. Reinventing yourself if a positive way to move on from your heartache.

Travel

Leaving the busy city to find solace in the beach or in the mountains can help you escape the things that exhaust you physically and emotionally. If you have the time and money, soul-searching in a far away destination is also a good idea after a breakup.

Meet new people

For a long time, your life revolves around you and your partner, now that you’re over and done it’s time to make new friends and expand your circle. The people you meet can become your support system and help you get through your ordeal.

Do not rush

While it’s okay to make new friends, it’s never okay to jump into a new relationship right away especially if you have not moved on from your ex. It will be unfair not only to the person you date but also to yourself. There’s no reason to hurry, take things slow and do not aim to get a replacement if you feel that you are still not capable of opening your heart again.

Cry all you want

Don’t fight your tears let them flow until you have no more. Just like the normal grieving process, you have to undergo the five stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. At the beginning, you will feel hesitant to delete all your photos together or change your Facebook relationship status because you can’t accept the fact that you are no longer together.

Later on, you will feel extreme anger and blame yourself or your ex for causing you so much pain then you start hoping for reconciliation and get disappointed and depressed because you know it won’t happen. To help you cope up, you can check the Betterhelp website and read blogs about depression or better yet get professional help if you need to.

Once all your emotion subsides, you will start feeling a sense of relief. You will begin to realize that maybe he’s not the right one for you, that there could be someone better and you haven’t met him yet but eventually you will.

I love asking small children what they want to be when they grow up, only because the answer can change three times a week, and be delivered with perfect sincerity on each occasion. This makes me feel much better about the somewhat erratic path my own career has followed.

One person I know gained a degree in computer science found out that he couldn’t stand coding, and became a diesel mechanic instead, less than a year after graduation. As it turns out, a skilled mechanic earns much more than a mediocre programmer. Another friend studied for several years to be a dentist but eventually realized that the routine involved in running a surgery wasn’t for him, and became a self-taught computer programmer instead. Are they happy, are they fulfilled? It’s difficult to tell about another person, of course, and these are not the kind of questions that frequently crop up in casual conversation, but they certainly appear to be.

On the other hand, we all probably know a number of people who rarely talk, or constantly complain about their work without even considering the possibility of making a change. This is a situation which just might resolve itself without the person concerned doing anything about it: he might be promoted into a new role, or the nature of his industry might change overnight, or he could be fired tomorrow. These are all possibilities, but by not choosing the direction his life can change in, he might only end up worse off than before.

The truth is that almost nobody knows what’s important to them and what will make them happy when they’re eighteen, few have figured it out by the time they’re 25, and a pretty significant number still have little idea when 40 comes around. Instead, we strive towards what we think should be important to us, which may come from the expectations of parents (or the perception of these), a desire to fit into a certain social role or just something we saw on TV a decade ago.

How to Tell Whether You’re Between a Rock and a Hard Place
Every now and again, we should each turn off the phone, unplug ourselves from Facebook and ask if the “me” part of ourselves is happy, miserable or somewhere between those two extremes. This is both difficult and essential, and so also when it comes to deciding to do something about an obstacle to our enjoyment of life. Some objective, professional help (even if it’s online help) would not go amiss in this process.

You should understand that every career, from driving a truck to playing the ukulele professionally, has its rough spots. Unreasonable bosses, tight schedules, and disappointed expectations will always be with us, so try to think only about those aspects which are inherently part of your industry and profession.

Instead of occasionally being under pressure at work, do you find that stress invariably carries over into your home environment, or has become a constant feature of your life? No salary in the world is worth sacrificing your health for, including your mental wellbeing. Have you lost all passion for your job and its meaning? There are plenty of ways to earn a living, not all of which will make you miserable. Perhaps there is simply no further room for you to grow along with your current path, but you have a lot of growth left in you. This process is all about deciding whether your current job (or entire career path) and your long-term goals are in alignment. If this is not the case, one or the other will have to go, without exception.

A workplace situation can become unbearable for a number of reasons: too much routine, too much worry, too much travel. Even once we realize that something drastic, like a change in career, is necessary for us to feel fulfilled, most of us will think that we lack the energy and courage to take the necessary steps down this road. While this is a fool’s game, we would much rather squander both energy and determination by simply dragging ourselves through another few decades of purgatory.

Can’t Quit now, I’ll Lose all I Haven’t Got
Another aspect that holds many back from making a hard but necessary decision is known as the “sunk cost fallacy”. This can have a number of different manifestations: continuing to bet on a losing team because their luck “has to” change, or staying with a romantic partner you can’t stand because you can’t get back the years you’ve already spent with them.

Actually, things that aren’t going well tend to keep heading in that direction, and you can’t retrieve the past under any circumstances, anyway. The sunk cost fallacy, as applied to careers, means that someone is hesitant to make a change because of the years they’ve already spent studying for and doing the job that they’re in.

While there is some truth to this, the actual impact on your career trajectory will probably be less what you think. Unlike wasted time, experience doesn’t go away and can often find application in a completely different industry or role. As one example, companies serving a certain industry are often hungry for employees with experience in it, even if their specific skills aren’t required. True, if you apply for a new job, an interviewer might be less impressed with specialized experience in a completely different field; but if you are sure that a change is what is needed, specializing any further is not going to do you any favors.

Making Dramatic Changes, One Act at a Time
You can, in theory, walk out of your current job this minute and never come back. In practice, you are most probably not alone in life. If you have people who depend on you, including at work, simply announcing that you’ve been on the road to Damascus before darting out the door is not only impractical but selfish. Besides, just because you’re sure of your decision today doesn’t mean that you’ll be quite as certain in a week’s time.

Plenty of people have already leveraged a hobby into a new career arc or started a small business without summarily throwing their day job overboard. If you know that what you really need in life is a revolution, there are almost certainly steps you can take, starting today, that will ease the transition and perhaps provide something of a safety net.

Talking things over with your family is the best place to start. Explain that you have to pursue your own happiness and how you plan to go about it, rather than one day proclaiming that you’re suddenly as free as a bird. Do some careful financial planning, using both optimistic and pessimistic assumptions, to see how you can make things work on a practical level.

Above all, remember that time invested in yourself is rarely wasted. Gaining knowledge and skills in your spare time is one of the best ways to prepare for a new kind of employment, and courses you can follow in your spare time are now easier to access than ever. You can gain both skills and certification in anything from data analysis to Dutch, converting those spare hours you currently spend doing nothing into employment options that might take you along paths you cannot currently even imagine.

Source: Iliteam.orgFor most of us (yes, that includes me), we wake up everyday thinking of more ways to earn and be able to buy what we want. We live our days wondering how we can succeed and finally be happy. But what really is happiness for us? When do we say we have reached that point of happiness where we can decide, “Yes, I am happy now?”

I think one of the best ways to achieve that happiness is to be content. When we try to live life in contentment, we stop needing more and begin to feel that what we have is enough – more than enough, actually. Choosing contentment means deciding to accept what is and what is not, welcoming joy and love as well as the pain and sorrow that come with them.

But how to do it – how to live a life of contentment – may come with some sacrifice on the things that we want or dream of having. Here are some thoughts to ponder if you decide to choose contentment as a way of living.

How to Live in Contentment

·      Live simply. One will know when she has lived in contentment when she feels she doesn’t need to buy more material things that only cause chaos in the home – and in her mind. What you have now may not be rich or lavish, but you have it, and you don’t have to replace it. Then you are able to retain the precious things and at the same time save time and money.

·      Commune with nature. Seeing the great outdoors actually leaves us in awe of the many things that are the way they are – miracles. Instead of thinking about problems and other stressors that disturb our flow of life energy, we must think about the gifts we have been given and the gifts we are able to share with others. Then we will be able to feel contentment.

·      Stop comparing. When we gauge ourselves according to how successful or beautiful or happy others are, we lose our perspective of being content with who we are and what we have. We must focus on defining our own person according to the goodness of our hearts, the family that surrounds us, and the big and small successes that we and our loved ones achieve. Comparing ourselves to others is a surefire way of feeling unhappy and discontented.

·      Continue your journey towards self-improvement. When you continue growing and learning new ways to become better, it doesn’t mean you are a discontented person. It only means that you accept what you are and what you have right now, and you are willing to work towards becoming the person you want to be in the future. Everything you do that would help you improve and develop your skills will definitely provide you with such positive feelings of happiness, joy and contentment.

Putting these thoughts into action and practicing them daily would encourage us to build a routine of living a life contented. When this becomes habitual, we are able to foster peace, satisfaction, and happiness.

If you are having difficulty achieving this, though, you can always count on having someone from (possibly an online therapist) to guide you. A therapist is available online to walk you through how to live a life of simplicity and contentment.

Making new year’s resolutions dates some millenniums back to ancient Romans who offered promises to their two-faced god of beginnings and endings, Janus, vowing to conduct themselves better as they enter a new year. This same deity was also every ancient Roman citizen’s scapegoat whenever they couldn’t follow through their commitments. “It was Janus’ will” was their ready excuse.

And it seems the years have brought in little change. Yes, we are still fond of making new year’s resolutions. But like our ancestors, we’re most likely to break them by the middle of the year. As what a study showed, out of the 40-45% of Americans who make new year’s resolutions, less than half of them – roughly 18% if calculated – follow through their lists by the end of the year.

But don’t dismiss making new year’s resolutions as cliche just yet!

According to experts, the two most common reasons why following our lists of good deeds for the new year don’t turn out well are.

• They are not precise. [We say “My new year’s resolution is to lose weight.” But how much weight are you aiming to lose?]
• They’re boring to do and involve a lot of self-restraint to follow through. [Like quitting smoking.]

So, if we steer clear away from these two when we’re putting our lists together, there’s always hope we’re going to succeed in keeping them until 2018 ends.

In this note, why not make new year’s resolutions that are creatively positive instead of the usual “Don’t do this . . .” “Won’t do that . . . ” brouhahas?

Below are 5 self-improvement new year’s resolutions that I believe you can carry on until the end of the coming year.

1. I will stop procrastinating and finish the things I need to do today TODAY.

Procrastination – in one way or another – is everybody’s problem. .EVERY SINGLE DAY. There will always be that one [or more!] task we loathe doing and will end up “saving for later.” But at the end of the day, we’ll come to realize we later are all used up, and the job we put off remains undone. So, we tell ourselves we’ll do it the next day and the cycle go on and on.

How do we overcome our delaying habits?

– Keep a to-do list with your tasks along with realistically set deadlines for each. Then, stick to it before moving on to another list of things to do. Tackle those that are the most urgent jobs first.

– After your most pressing tasks for the day are done, take on the stuff on your list that you hate to do and complete them as they are most likely the items you keep putting off.

– Don’t be distracted by your gadgets. Turn them off if you don’t need to use them.

– Most of all, it’s best if you partner with someone – an office mate, perhaps, when you’ve observed your delaying habits are affecting your work – which is very productive. This way, you’ll be pumped out to get on with your duties and learn techniques from them to manage your time wisely.

If you fear your delaying habits are wreaking havoc over the various areas of your life, it is best if you get professional help. Counseling can help manage, curb and, if possible, cure you of being a chronic procrastinator.

2. I will act on my forgiveness.

Don’t you know that holding on to a grudge can make you psychologically and physically ill? Dr. Michael Linden, A German psychiatrist, gave this health disorder the name Posttraumatic Embitterment Disorder [PTED]. Accordingly, this sickness is triggered by memories of a trauma paired with the continuing anger over it. People with PTSD go through depression and suffer from sleeplessness, loss of appetite and physical pain. Eventually, these will all lead to paralysis.

Yes, forgiving someone who wronged you and caused you pain [in one way or another] can be very difficult. But you have to remember that when you let your anger go, you’ll feel freer, happier and healthier.

So, don’t just say “I’m learning to forgive you.” Voice out “I forgive you,” instead.

3. I will tip those who serve me generously.

Instead of ranting out about how rude the waiter was at the restaurant you ate in and justifying the horrid service you got by leaving a small tip, be the first to put forward a good deed.

Statistically, the average yearly income of a server is about $18,330. On top of that, serving/waiting is one grueling job that requires standing and walking around most of the time. So, instead of nitpicking on your waiter/waitress’ kind of serving, think about the what-ifs he/she might be experiencing at that exact moment.

– Is he worried about not being able to pay his rent on time?

– Are her feet hurting from serving all day that’s why she’s kind of crappy?

Most importantly, leave a generous tip. You’ll never know. It could be you that’ll put back a smile on his/her tired face.

And while you’re on it, don’t leave out the pizza delivery guys, the valets, the bartenders. Well, you get my meaning.

4. I will make time to know my neighbors.

A 2010 study on the ways Americans get the know-how about community issues revealed a very alarming finding – that 29% of those polled only knew some of the names of their next-door neighbors and 28% didn’t know any close neighbors at all [as opposed to the 19% who knew all their neighbors and 24% who said they knew some of those closely living to them].

If you belong in the 29 or 28 percentage, I believe 2018 is your cue to go out of your crib and start knocking on the doors of your neighbors to get to know them. And bring something delicious so you wouldn’t look like a creep.

5. I will cut off my screen time.

Bestselling author Tom Rath has these words to say about TV watching in his book Eat Move Sleep:

“An Australian study of more than 12,000 adults estimated that every single hour spent watching television after the age of 25 decreased the viewer’s life expectancy by 22 minutes.”

Aside from this, the conclusions of countless studies done on the effects of spending long hours on screen time all tread on the same line – SPENDING HOURS INACTIVE WHILE SITTING IN FRONT OF YOUR TV SCREEN [OR ANY OTHER GADGET] IS DEADLY.

2018 is the time to break away from your TV/ screen time habits. Explore other areas of relaxation. For example, running early in the morning can be very refreshing. Why not try it?

I hope these five self-improvement new year’s resolutions will significantly help you in formulating your list.