Sean and I would like to announce the debut of our new channel (including the release of the rest of the Unicorn Western saga, which got pretty damn epic) on May 23rd. You can sign up for the Realm and Sands list to get our new releases at a discount here.

Today we were supposed to have a guest, but he didn’t show up so instead, we just got all caught up on the voicemails you guys have been sending in. Here’s what we answered:

* What’s the best way to publish microfiction?
* A comment about JK Rowling as pertains to crossing genres
* When is it useful to use a pen name?
* WHY THE FUCK DON’T WE SHARE OUR NUMBERS OMG (Dave loved this one.)
* What’s the thing in writing that makes readers share it with others?
* I have three months to do ** SOMETHING ** in publishing and writing. What’s the best way to spend it?
* Is it worthwhile pricing at 99 cents? Permanent free? Whatever?
* We also got a shout out from a listener on her blog.

There was also some discussion of free and of moving to other publishing platforms and a fun revisiting of writing in several genres. Enjoy!

Lastly: Don’t forget to sign up for the Realm and Sands mailing list for channel launch on May 23rd!

To view the video version of this episode, go to: Self Publishing Podcast #55 – The “Catching up on Voicemails” Episode

Today, we talked again with our friend and bestselling author CJ Lyons. We talked about how self publishing has changed (and how traditional publishing is apparently just figuring it out), how to bond with your readers and grow your audience, and how smart publishers today need to pay more attention to strategic basics that never go out of style (writing good books, writing a lot, pleasing readers, etc.) instead of trendy tactics.

CJ also weighed in on our writing across multiple genres and convinced Dave of several other things that made Sean jump up and down. As usual, it was like watching a marriage break up.

CJ’s main site is CJLyons.net and her blog is No Rules, Just Write. Pop in and say hi, and buy her shit!

To view the video version of this episode, go to: Self Publishing Podcast #54 – Exploding Your Growth, with Bestselling Author CJ Lyons

One year ago as of the day we recorded this episode (we recorded it on 4/26/13), we posted the very first episode of the Self Publishing Podcast.

So in our longer-than-usual anniversarial episode, we talked about what a difference a year makes, how things have changed in self-publishing, and what we think the future will bring.

Sean and I also announced our new “channel,” called “Realm & Sands,” which will launch on May 23rd. We’re going to debut with three written “shows” and release one book a week. Our first three shows are the full saga of our epic fantasy/western series Unicorn Western, a sitcom-style self-referential series called Better Off Undead, and a serious, non-hilarious sci-fi serial called The Beam.

Thanks for a great first year, SPP listeners!

To view the video version of this episode, go to:  Self Publishing Podcast #53 – SPP’s 1-Year Anniversary Show

As Sean and Johnny tie up production on Unicorn Western 9 and prepare to publish the full 1-9 Saga (in addition to launching a whole new venture), we decided to talk about the concept of “trusting the story,” which is something we did a ton of as Unicorn Western finished.

There was a lot of our typical debate, but in short, we all believe that there is a “truth” to a story and that it’s your job to find it.

Sean and I (Johnny) diverged significantly from Dave, though, in our nearly blind faith in the story. We truly believe that the story’s “truth” exists out in the world and it’s our job to excavate it as much as create it.

Dave, however, said that it’s super-possible to write yourself into a corner while you’re being a story-trusting dumbass. Sean and I took that as a challenge, saying we could paint our way out any cockamamie situation Dave wrote us into.

Hilarity then ensued.

To view the video version of this episode, go to: Self Publishing Podcast #52 – Trusting the Story

Today’s show was a knock-down, drag-down fight that left all of us — but mostly Dave — exhausted. We talked about whether you should brand yourself as a writer of one type of writing or not, and ridiculousness ensued.

But first, a voicemail from Garrett

Garrett asked, in short, what we thought about what we’d done so far with our transition from releasing books for free at launch time to requiring folks to pay (99 cents) for them. Sean and I talked about what happened with the launch of Unicorn Western 4 (at 99 cents), and S&D contrasted it with the Available Darkness Season Two launch (episodes released individually for free). They weren’t happy with the A.D. launch, but Sean and I were quite happy with the UW 4 launch — not because the numbers were huge (they weren’t), but because those people were PAYING CUSTOMERS.

We also talked about the VERY interesting (and also very good) results of a recent launch done by our friend, erotica writer Lexi Maxxwell. Lexi released a title called The Slutty Little Mermaid and a buy-up $9.99 bundle of Filthy Fairy Tales recently using a similar model, and it worked great.

More awesome talk about free vs. paid ensued.

Then we got into it.

So… is it smarter to be “a horror writer” or “a fantasy writer” or whatever else so that people will get to know you as a master of that niche? Or is it better to spread yourself around and write in as many genres?

The very short answer is that both can work, in certain cases.

The short answer is that it depends on which expectations you want to set and what your goals are.

The longer answer is that Sean and I argued vehemently for writing across as many genres as you want under your own name, and that Dave disagreed with us.

For the full answer, have a listen.

To view the video version of this episode, go to: Self Publishing Podcast #51 – Writing in Multiple Genres

I’m really under the gun today trying to finish up the Unicorn Western series (I’m writing the final volume — #9 — right now) so I’m totally going to phone it in on these show notes. We’re cool with that, right?

The short version is that we all really, really, really like collaborating with other writers. You can bounce ideas off one another; you can play to your biggest strengths; you can move much, much faster.

(NOTE: This is where I mention that in the previous 12 days, I wrote books 5-8 of Unicorn Western. That’s like 105,000 words. Insane, and not possible if I weren’t collaborating with Sean.)

So we talk on that for a while, and it was a great discussion.

I’ll end my “phoning it in” here and get back to work.

To view the video version of this episode, go to: Self Publishing Podcast #50 – Collaborating with Other Writers

On this week’s show, we had J. Thorn, author of the Portal Arcane series and — most appropriately for this discussion, the guide Formatting for Kindle — on the show to talk about making Kindles do what you want.

We were unable to find out how to make Kindles bring us coffee or give us massages, unfortunately, but as far as getting correct fonts, placements images, etc.? We nailed that shit.

Perhaps the most interesting discussion here, in my mind, was how to make children’s books work on the Kindle. This is something a lot of you have asked about but that so far, we’ve shrugged in response to and said, “Dunno. Google for it.”

I could go on and on, but luckily, this week J. has done all of my work for me by posting everything you’ll need to know — including a bunch of awesome free resources — on his website. To get them, visit JThorn.net and click on the tab along the top that says “SP Podcast #049.” How organized is this guy?

To view the video version of this episode, go to: Self Publishing Podcast #49 – Hacking Your Book’s Formatting with J. Thorn

This episode was chock full of big-brained, high-strategy stuff.

We started by talking how we’re all getting a little disillusioned at the whole “free economy” that up until very recently we’ve endorsed on this show… which shows that all things are in flux and that very little is set in stone.

Now, this is all just our opinion, but we all said that we’ve noticed SIGNIFICANT declines in the effectiveness of free promotions. I launched Fat Vampire 4 to a rather hungry audience (I’d been getting emails and tweets for a while from people eager for it) and that promotion resulted in approximately jack shit:

1. I rose in the free list, but not high enough for the free list to take the ball and hit critical mass, exposing me to new people.

2. I rose in the genre lists (horror and satire) but got no real new exposure.

3. Sales of other titles were pathetic. I can maybe attribute $40 total to this promotion.

Something felt very wrong to me about this. Sean and Dave said they’ve felt the same… that all we’re doing with free these days is giving shit away to the people who wanted to buy it.

Additionally, we’re not getting enough reviews to justify the giveaways.

How important is it to keep readers?

This led to an epic verbal battle wherein Sean accused Dave of being too soft regarding losing readers. Sean and I feel that if you have readers who will ONLY get your stuff for free (will in fact WAIT for it to be free and not buy it if it doesn’t go free) and who also won’t review your stuff, then FUCK THOSE PEOPLE. Dave wants to keep them, but I want readers who value my work… who, in short, don’t feel that they’re somehow doing me a favor by simply reading my work but offering me no return, remuneration, or response — ever — in return.

Now, not everyone who gets your shit free will be like that, but a lot will. So we have to wonder… why not go back to charging for everything, and building funnels?

Our new launch strategy

Sean and Dave decided to go back to launching their episodes for 99 cents instead of free. Sean and I decided to do the same with books, which feels ballsy but also totally correct to me. We launched Unicorn Western 4 for 99 cents for a limited time as a special deal for our readers, but then raised it to full price of $2.99. There was no free period and will not be for subsequent books in the series. (Same thing will go for Fat Vampire books 5 and 6.)

Remember, we are in the business of selling books. If that’s not happening, we need to adjust. We feel and hope that our best readers will be willing to spend 99 cents. And if they’re not willing, then we don’t really need them. That may sound harsh, but it is what it is.

Formula and format helps the creative process rather than hindering it

We finished up by talking about how speed, formula for writing (ex: we decided in advance that Unicorn Western would be nine books of 25,000 words each… before we knew anything about the plot) and process actually helps the creative process.

In other words, some people would argue that you should let your story be organic and be whatever it wants to be. But Sean and I at least contend (and Dave seems ambivalent) that if you put restrictions on the project, it gives you a framework and allows you to kick even more ass.

I can tell I personally am going to listen to this one about five times. This is important shit!

To view the video version of this episode, go to: Self Publishing Podcast #48 – Talking Strategy and Other Big Plans

NOTE: Unicorn Western 4 will be at its launch price of 99 cents until the end of Sunday, March 24th.

I (Johnny) have known Jim Kukral for a while. He’s a good guy with an extensive background in internet marketing and sales, and he once stood me up for lunch.

However, when I discovered that he was also, coincidentally, the guy behind Author Marketing Club — which we’ve promoted often on SPP if for no other reason than their super-awesome multi-site submission tool for free promotions — I said, “Let’s get Jim on the show.” So that’s what we did.

But first…

Sean and I went to South by Southwest two weeks ago and sat down and mapped out books 5-8 of the Unicorn Western series, which now includes Unicorn Western 4. We also did a lot of planning and won’t release ANY more volumes until the full saga is complete circa early May. So watch for details on how that works out.

We also hung out (in a nonsexual way) with erotica author Lexi Maxxwell (somewhat NSFW link), who is a big SPP success story and who appeared on our show a bit ago (definitely NSFW podcast episode). She’s working on some hilariously sexy stuff that Sean and I giggled like fifth graders until we cried talking about, including a series called Filthy Fairy Tales which will release soon. Johnny then mentioned hilarious hijinks discussed in a title that is currently live called The Autumn Diaries.

Jim talks marketing

This was a PHENOMENAL discussion that just epitomizes the nature of Amazon, of publishing, and about marketing. You have to be adaptable. Since the beginning of this podcast, we’ve hailed how awesome free is, but now we’re talking more about other platforms and about moving away from free.

For instance, Sean and I launched Unicorn Western 4 today at 99 cents instead of giving it away in a Select promotion. In fact, it isn’t even IN Select. Instead, we’re going to move the series to other platforms as our Select runs expire.

There’s a ton in this episode, but regarding how marketing is becoming harder with the changes in free and free blog promotion, I (Johnny) said this:

To view the video version of this episode, go to: Self Publishing Podcast #47 – Author Marketing with AuthorMarketingClub.com’s Jim Kukral

Before you start reading, I (Johnny) would like to let you know that my brand-spankin’ new book Fat Vampire 4 is available now and will be free on Amazon on March 14-15. Go here to check out Fat Vampire 4.  (Side note – the first three Fat Vampire books are available in a buy-2-get-1 bundle here.)

–

This episode was our attempt to get to a bunch of little odds and ends that we’ve been wanting to mention but that don’t warrant an entire show on their own. We also wanted to answer your listener questions. We got to most of them. Yay, us!

This shit takes time

Sean and I started off by recapping our numbers for the Unicorn Western series (check out our handy and inexpensive UW three-pack!) and spent some time underscoring the idea that this brand-new series is not raking in the bucks yet. One of the most important things you can do for your publishing career is to be patient and give your books time on the market to find an audience.

Gareth asked about using and selling stock photography

Dave’s wet dream, Gareth from England, said that he was interested in selling his photographs for authors to use and also kind of asked about where one would buy stock photography. We recommended Shutterstock for both.

Bathtub Girl asked about selling a cookbook — publish, blog, or what?

We thought that Bathtub Girl’s idea to self-publish a photography-rich cookbook sounded fraught with peril and difficult to pull off due mainly to issues having to do with the photos themselves and the nature of selling cookbooks, but saw some promise in the idea of blogging as a method of promotion and becoming known as a Cookbook Bathtub Girl.

An anonymous caller asked about knowing how big her sub-niche is

Because Anonymous Girl says she’s writing in a specific sub-niche of romance/erotica, Dave felt the need to declare publicly that he thinks that werewolf erotica is just for people who want to fuck animals in such a way that indicated that it had been on his mind a LOT lately. We then actually answered the question about determining the size or popularity of a niche. Seemingly.

Kirk asked about outlining and story beats

Sean elaborated some here on the “beating” process he talked about in our earlier episode on outlining and story structure. So we talked about that a lot.

Dave said that he loves Scrapple

Dave pretended that he was talking about this and not this, but I think we know what the real score is. Suffice to say that it’s a cool visual organizational tool for writers.

Steve asked about costs for building and running a website

Our recommendations for writers’ websites are these:

FOR THE DIY’er: You can set up and run a site for less than $10 a month for the site and under $20 a month for the mailing list. Here are links showing you how to handle the website setup and installation and how to set up and use a mailing list, including our recommendations on service providers.

FOR SOMEONE WHO JUST WANTS IT HANDLED: Sean recommended outstandingSETUP, which will do it all for you.

Then, to close out the show, I railed a bit more about how the changes in free and KDP Select are really starting to piss me off.

To view the video version of this episode, go to: Self Publishing Podcast #46 – Q&A, Progress, and the Catch-Up Show

We took some voicemails at the start of this one and you can listen to hear all about them (With Sean and Johnny working together, who won re: sending books to an editor? How did Johnny’s process change so he could write faster? And are we talking too damn much about strategy?), but this episode was super-heavy with newsworthy goodness, so let’s get started.

Are free book blogs dead… and if so, does authors’ abilities to promote well die with them?

Here’s the problem: Amazon just changed their affiliate program so that if 1) an affiliate pushes the download of over 20,000 free e-books in a month AND 2) 80% or more of the books that affiliate pushes are free books, the affiliate will earn $0 in commissions from Amazon for the month.

In case you didn’t know, this is how huge free book sites — the sites that push our books when we do KDP Select promotions — make money. The changes in the affiliate program are, essentially, requiring that those sites promote fewer free books. That’s bad news for us. Or is it?

This week, we had Ed Robertson back on to hash this one out.

There’s a ton of debate here and I won’t try to encapsulate all of it, but here are a few of the points that were raised during this show:

1. This doesn’t kill KDP Select free promotions. It just makes them less effective for people who might have been picked up by the big blogs but now will not be.

2. It might make sense to consider changing to discounted promotions rather than free promotions rather than free promotions for SOME AUTHORS in SOME CIRCUMSTANCES.

3. But, making your book free will still drive sales if you’re doing everything else right. There will just be fewer huge windfalls like those possible after a huge push of a book by Pixel of Ink or other sites.

4. Free is a tactic, not a strategy, and Sean and I both mention how gaming free promotions feels to us like playing search engine optimization (SEO) games. If it’s a trick, you can use it… but don’t base the success of your business on it, because it can change any time.

5. Because of that — and because it’s just common sense — the advice we give time and time again continues to apply: Write good books. Keep writing more books. Build a smart marketing funnel. Build and grow an email list. Be good to and take care of your fans. Those things will never, ever, ever change (although email may one day be replaced when the future arrives and we all get rocket cars) as long as people continue to enjoy stories.

6. The top 100 free charts still need to be filled by someone, as do the top 100 paid charts. They will be filled by the best books. For the best books, nothing changes here. That means that you must be awesome or go home. If you’re fantastic at what you do, the changing of any one tactic means exactly dick.

This episode is jam-packed. Study it like you have an exam coming up.

To view the video version of this episode, go to: Self Publishing Podcast #45 – The Death of Free Book Promotion on Big Blogs?

Today we had a really awesome guest who is pretty much to thank (or to blame) for this podcast existing: Cliff Ravenscraft, the Podcast Answer Man. It was Cliff’s 100% free podcasting setup tutorial website at LearnHowToPodcast.com that I used to learn how to build SPP and make it the show that you love and loathe today.

But before we started talking to Cliff about why and how writers can start podcasting, we answered a few…

Voicemail questions!

1. Can you use using images in a Kindle file?
After saying how awesome and buy-worthy he thought my book The Bialy Pimps was, Garrett asked about using small images as his chapter headings in Kindle docs. The short answer is that he can totally do it with no problem. And of course, knowing Garrett, he already had weeks before we answered this question.

2. Do writers really need websites?
This question came as a result of some confusion. Sean once said that Amazon could distribute your work to WAY more people than most websites, but we clarify here that this does NOT mean that writers should not have websites. Writers need a home base, if for no other reason than to build an email list. If you’d like to know how to set up your own website, here’s a tutorial showing you how to do it. Also, here’s a tutorial on how to set up and use an email list.

Podcasting for writers with Cliff Ravenscraft

There’s a ton of detail when we got Cliff on the line, but a few of the basic reasons writers might consider podcasting are because it allows you to form tighter relationships with readers and to share more of yourself with them, which will allow them to love you more. It can also act as your writer’s platform.

We run through all of the nitty gritty in this one about what kind of equipment you’ll need, how much you can expect to spend, how involved it is to set up a podcast, and how to set expectations.

And I’ll also add this: The three of us here LOVE the podcast. I (Johnny) would go so far as to say that without the podcast, I wouldn’t be producing 20% of the work I’m producing today, which leads to another reason podcasting can be valuable, and that’s for the masterminding aspect of talking to other writers.

If you want to know more, absolutely check out Cliff’s Learn How to Podcast tutorial series and subscribe to his Podcast Answer Man podcast.

To view the video version of this episode, go to: Self Publishing Podcast #44 – Podcasting for Writers with Podcast Answer Man Cliff Ravenscraft

Today we tackled a topic that I (Johnny) have been wanting to get to FOR-EVAH for my own nefarious reasons, but that we haven’t been able to get to.

True to form, Sean and Dave tried to cockblock me out of this topic halfway through because they wanted to answer all of your called-in questions, but I PUT A STOP TO THAT BULLSHIT and cut them off. We got to a few of your questions, but we have an increasing backlog that will have to wait again… sorry. We won’t get to them next week, either, because we have a guest. Good thing I’m so apathetic and unsympathetic about other people’s issues. (I kid, I kid.)

Here are the questions we did get to:

• Do you need to read a lot to be a writer… and if so, should you “cram” before writing?
Short answer: You must read, but “cramming” all at once is a bad idea.

• How do you handle descriptions of characters? Is there a best order or way?
Short answer: Minimalistic description is the way to go in our opinion. this lets the reader supply his/her own description and hence feel like they’re a part of the story more.

• Are self-publishing awards worth it?
Short answer: No.

• What are the rules about exclusivity at different times with KDP Select?
Short answer: You can’t post/sell/make your work available anywhere during the 90-day period you’re committed to Select (including your website), but you can have it anywhere else before and after.

Then we got to outlining and story structure.

I started by relating a story about how I, by myself, recently wrote Fat Vampire 4. Compared to what Sean and I do with Unicorn Western, this was hard, because I have to outline the story myself instead of Sean giving me story beats. Since I’ve never been much of an outliner — and since working with Sean’s outlines has shown me how fast I can write when I DO have an outline — I wanted to learn more about it. And you get to listen in.

We then hashed this out from seventy different angles. Awesomeness then ensued.

We even get a step-by-step on Sean’s own outlining process in this one, which I’m going use the next time I have to do my own outlining. Good stuff.

To view the video version of this episode, go to: Self Publishing Podcast #43 – Outlining and Story Architecture

Today we had our first-ever returning guest – Ed Roberston. In case you missed Ed the first time he was on our show, he’s one of those guys who studies shit rather than taking it for granted and hence has (along with help from a kind of think-tank, but a different kind of think-tank than Sean’s) figured out a lot of details about how Amazon ranks books, what exactly drives a book up the popularity charts, how pricing affects a book’s ability to rise in the rankings, how free book “sales” tally up next to actual purchases in determining ranking, etc.

There’s a ton to this episode, so I’m not going to list it all here. It’s just too damn involved and I’m too damn lazy. But here are a few of the highlights:

* There are two basic ways to use Amazon free promotions: 1) promoting one book and hoping for that same book to “bump up” in the rankings when the promo is done and hence sell a bunch of copies and 2) promoting one book in the hopes of driving sales of related books — ideally others in the same series. Ed says that the first doesn’t work well anymore but that the second still does.

* Related to the above, Ed says that many authors — including himself — are leaving KDP Select in frustration and adding their books to other stores. From where I (Johnny) stand, this seems nuts, but I am not in the same place as these other guys, and it makes sense for them. It DOES also make me nervous to have all of my eggs in one basket over at Amazon, lending some credence to the other argument.

* Ed gives his thoughts on the various odd observations I made when talking about two very different free promotions I did for The Bialy Pimps and Fat Vampire, as described in our last episode.

Like I said, there’s a crap-ton more here. Enjoy!

To view the video version of this episode, go to: Self Publishing Podcast #42 – Exploring Amazon’s Algorithms with Ed Robertson

I (Johnny) started the show this week by talking about two KDP Select promotions I ran for Fat Vampire and The Bialy Pimps . These promotions went very well, and led to Sean getting wood or something about some KDP Select ideas he had. So although we had another topic planned, we decided to bump it and talk about Select instead.

Here are some of the conclusions we arrived at throughout the course of this rather complicated and convoluted show, in no particular order.

1. Submitting your book to sites that feature free titles is worth it.
I used AuthorMarketingClub’s book submission tool to let a bunch of sites know that Fat Vampire would be free. As a result — and we’re sure this is only PART of the reason, but it did have to be part — the book went up to #90 on the overall free list and was downloaded around 2500 times the first day.

2. Pixel of Ink is still the big dog.
Of all the free book sites, the one you most want to get mentioned by is still Pixel Of Ink. Even though I didn’t submit it, The Bialy Pimps got picked up by PoI, and that drove over 2000 downloads in the first few hours.

3. But Pixel of Ink seems to prefer full-length novels.
I submitted FV, but tBP was the book that Pixel featured. This despite the fact that FV sells better, is ranked more highly, and has more reviews. I wanted FV to be featured because that’s where I have a funnel (more sequels to buy), but it wasn’t featured. Instead, they pulled my other book, which barely sells, out of obscurity… for the SECOND TIME. Our only guess is that they want longer books. (FV is around 35,000 words, whereas Bialy is over 120k.)

4. And this sucks for people who want to offer “full length” stuff as compilations of shorter works, but whose reviews are all on those shorter works.
I have a Fat Vampire books 1-3 bundle that should be long enough for Pixel, but it has no reviews, which would make Pixel turn it down. All of the reviews for the FV series are on the three books that make up the bundle. This led to a discussion too convoluted to go into, but it’s where the real meat is.

5. It may be worth it to end your promo on a high note.
For reasons I go into on the show, my free promo for The Bialy Pimps was cut short when Amazon kicked the book out of Select. The book was ranked at #70 free at the time, which is pretty high. I was bummed out at first because I wanted to see if it could climb higher, but I felt better the next day when I sold like 85 copies of Bialy — a book that usually only sells only a few copies of a month. I attribute this to the book becoming paid again while it was still popular, and possibly also to Pixel’s link to it being relatively “fresh” when the book went paid. I don’t know if this makes me want to cut promos off early, but it definitely has given me something to think about.

To view the video version of this episode, go to: Self Publishing Podcast #41 – Insights on KDP Select and Its Use for Serials

On today’s show, we had a special guest in Garrett Robinson, who we figured could represent all of you out there in self-publishing land who had questions for us. We picked Garrett because he always has a ton of questions, and having him on was easier than filing a restraining order.

Live from his closet, here are just a few of the questions Garrett asked us and that we then discussed while stupid jokes were tossed about and Sean and I yelled angrily about Garrett making us be on the podcast in the evening:

1. Do you need a publishing house, or can you publish under your own name?
Short answer: you don’t need a house. I (Johnny) don’t have one. Sean says you might consider it if you want to act like a publisher. Whatever that means.

2. What’s the best way to price serials?
Answer: It depends. Listen up to get the full details.

3. What is the best timing for KDP Select promotions?
Answer: Undecided. Sean wants to try running his promos on Saturdays and Sundays, while I still tend to go with Tuesdays. It may not matter. There was much confusion about the timing of sending emails.

4. What’s the best way to collaborate and write fast?
Answer: A bit too convoluted to write out here. I’m also too lazy to listen and find out what we said.

We also took a voicemail from Gareth and did some other dumb stuff. I was tired. The end.

To view the video version of this episode, go to: Self Publishing Podcast #40 – Your Self-Publishing Questions, Answered by Proxy

In a way, the start of today’s show was a bummer because nobody used the word “cum slut,” which we’d gotten used to from our last show. But we quickly got over it and got on with business.

A bit of a KDP Select review

As a way of talking again about Amazon’s KDP Select program, I announced that I’ve sold FOUR copies of The Bialy Pimps. I during its time on both the Nook and Apple iBooks bookstore over the entire year… which really makes me wonder why the fuck I’d bother putting any books on platforms OTHER than Amazon.

Sean laid out what they’re doing now, which involves “graduating” books from Amazon only to other platforms. We argued a bit about this, and the best way to break out promos, and so on.

Questions! Questions!

I mentioned that I’ve decided to bundle my Fat Vampire books differently than the way Sean and I have decided to bundle Unicorn Western. Sean’s current favorite bundling model combines three novellas which are priced at $2.99 each into a bundle that costs $4.99… and then once there are three bundles at $4.99, you combine those into a nine-book bundle that costs $9.99.

Instead, I’ve decided to bundle three of my $2.99 Fat Vampire books into a collection that costs $5.99 (I published the first Fat Vampire “Value Meal” this past weekend)… and then to combine two of those into a 6-book bundle for $9.99. My argument is that the Fat Vampire books are longer than Unicorn Western books.

This led us to a discussion of price and value, which was a perfect segue into a voicemail question: What is the VALUE of your book vs. what you can PRICE it at?

The answer is that value is a pretty useless concept if you are the only one who thinks it has a value of X. What the MARKET thinks its value is matters more. Fierce discussion then ensued.

Garrett then called in because he’s being really neurotic and comparing Amazon’s actual paid royalties to what he thinks they should be and says they seem low. Dave said that it may have to do with currency differences between the US and people in other countries buying your books, and Sean and I told him to chill the fuck out and stop obsessing over his numbers. I mean, SHIT.

Serials, Series, and Standalones… oh my!

We spent the rest of the episode talking about how you’d go about approaching a standalone novel (like The Bialy Pimps, which has no connection to anything else I’ve written) vs. a series of novels (like Unicorn Western) vs. a true written serial, which is structured more like an episodic TV series (like Yesterday’s Gone).

We get into a ton of detail, but basically the difference between a series and a serial is that in a series, each book needs to truly stand on its own as a whole story even though it may/should depend on what came in the book before and lead into the next book. A serial can have truly assholish cliffhangers and leave people feeling a lot more incomplete from episode to episode. It’s kind of a gray area, but etching out some of the black and white particulars is what we spent a ton of time doing this week.

To view the video version of this episode, go to: Self Publishing Podcast #39 – Series, Serials, and Standalone Books

Well, this is the show we’ve been eagerly anticipating for weeks, wherein we talk all about sex, writing about sex, getting down and dirty, and Dave’s new nickname: “cum slut.”

DISCLAIMER: Although our show is normally kind of explicit, this show takes it to a whole new level. Today’s guest has an absolutely FILTHY mouth. Get the kids out of the room, okay?

ALSO: You should assume that all links in this post are at least somewhat NSFW.

Act 1: Lexi Maxxwell stalks us

Lexi Maxxwell — who, shockingly enough, we discovered uses a pen name — says she’s been listening to our podcast from the beginning. She’s taken all of our advice and has run with it, even going so far as to create a “Sean Platt style” marketing funnel.

So it wasn’t surprising that when we indicated that we really wanted to have an erotica author on following the worldwide phenomenon self-published dynamo 50 Shades of Grey, Lexi totally stalked Sean and pestered him until we 1) inspected her work and her promotion plan and found both awesome (unlike the TONS of shitty erotica out there) and then 2) agreed to have her on the show.

Act 2: Lexi stalks Tucker Max

Lexi really stepped up her pestering after our Tucker Max show. She had a hilarious idea involving Tucker that she needed to — and subsequently DID — clear with Tucker. Specifically, she wanted to write a story called “I Fucked Tucker Max.” We’ll obviously need to keep on top of this story and let you know what happens with it.

Act 3: Lexi makes our podcast even more NSFW than normal

We talked about everything on this show, and that talk was absolutely filthy. New words we debuted this week include “cum slut,” “cum whore,” and the concept of “being fucked hard against a wall.” To be fair, all of these phrases and concepts were always latent at SPP, but Lexi brought them right out into the open.

We talked about how to blend explicit sex with characters people actually will like and care about.

We talked about the spectrum of erotic writing, which goes all the way from scene-based, very explicit “written porn” to softer, more romantic writing using words like “mound” (which Lexi felt to was “not an accurate description.”)

We talked about different formats in erotica, ranging from gonzo-style short stories with “pornish” titles (of which Lexi has many; I was most amused by “Call of Booty: Modern Whorefare”) to longer, more-complete-and-not-100%-sexual works like her novel Bitten, which Lexi says will become a trilogy.

We talked about how to market erotica, and how it differs from other fiction. (Sean even critiqued Lexi’s marketing funnel, which looks EXACTLY like his own funnel for his kids’ project. He then ends up advising her to move to a slightly different funnel… that would look EXACTLY like what Sean and I are doing for Unicorn Western.)

We talked about women writing erotic vs. men, and Lexi mentioned her friend K.R. Gray, who IS a man. Dave was weirded out by the idea of reading a dude’s erotica… but I (Johnny) noticed afterward that not only does K.R. say that he writes with his wife, but also noted with amusement that he’s doing a fucking SERIAL called Filthy Dirty Normal — thus proving that there is apparently nothing out there that sex writers cannot and will not steal from Sean and Dave.

We talked about EVERYTHING. No holds barred here. And we had so much fun that we kind of want to have Lexi back for more.

NOTE: There is no YouTube video of this episode because Lexi needs to keep her identity secret.

After our holiday break (wherein we produced “shows” but Sean and I basically just whored ourselves out for two episodes in a row), we’re back to discuss KDP Select and free promotions to drive sales of your books.

Voicemail first

We’re backed up on voicemail, but this got us partially caught up. Here’s what we covered:

1. Gareth gave us holiday feedback

2. Stefanovich (sorry; I don’t know how to spell it) gave us her impression of what a “marketing funnel for writers” meant (from episodes 33 and 34) in her own words and more or less nailed it

3. I’ll get to the third voicemail in a minute, below.

I asked for advice on managing my email list

I’ve got a big list from my (Johnny’s) website, but the problem is that a lot of those people joined based on the businessy, entrepreneurial, and even tech stuff I used to talk about but no longer do. I now do my human potential “Legendary” stuff and writing/publishing, and wanted to know how to “convert” that list.

Sean’s advice, as he’s facing the same thing, was to ignore the problem. Seriously. He said just to keep sending what I wanted to send (like free book promos) and the people who wanted to leave the list would leave it.

Garrett asked about using KDP Select free promotions to drive sales

This was such a great topic — and was something that I had so many questions about myself, seeing as I just released Fat Vampire 3 a few days ago — that we made it the show’s main topic.

The discussion that followed was VERY convoluted and I kept giving Sean virtual smackdowns because he was saying one thing and then contradicting himself. That asshole.

We got it all sorted in the end, and it’s some seriously detailed and great advice. But I’m not detailing that shit here. You’ll have to listen.

Enjoy!

To view the video version of this episode, go to: Self Publishing Podcast #37 – Using KDP Select to Drive Sales

Hey folks!

We weren’t going to give you an episode of SPP this week. The idea was to take the week off, but when we recorded Better Off Undead last week, we found that we simply continued talking about the creative process behind Johnny and Sean’s new book, Unicorn Western.

So, in lieu of an SPP this week, we’re going to give you episode 21 of Better Off Undead, since it’s all about our writing process anyway.

Enjoy!

_____________________________________________________

Hey Undead Heads, this week we mailed the show in, spending the entire show talking about Johnny and Sean’s new series, Unicorn Western the first book which is free today only (December 27) so go check it out.

Find out the origin story of this insane idea for a book in this week’s episode.

Can a book that started out as a joke, with me at it’s butt, actually be good?

So if you hate self-promotion, avoid this episode of BOU like a Birdemic outbreak!

Mercifully, the show is short, as we were in holiday mode. Unfortunately, thanks to some internet issues on Johnny’s end, there’s no video this week. Apologies to those who actually want to see us make asses of ourselves.

Tune in next week when we’ll get back to our off-topic nonsense.

Hey everyone! Before we start, I just wanted to let you know that Sean and Johnny’s new book Unicorn Western is free on Amazon between December 26-28 of 2012. If you’re reading this during that period of time, go get it free.

If you’re listening later than that, get it anyway. It’s only three bucks and it’s awesome. You’ll thank us.

Lazy-ass show this week

We did short version of the podcast this week because we recorded these on the Friday before Christmas and were in no mood for expending effort.

Ostensibly, this show is all about how you can take ANY dumb idea and turn it into a good book. So that’s what we talked about, as evidenced by Sean and Johnny’s latest book, Unicorn Western, which is available now.

We explain the entire story behind Unicorn Western in this episode (including much mirth at Dave’s expense), but let’s just say that there was nothing profound about where we got the idea. It’s a stupid idea. AND IT’S FUCKING AWESOME.

By the way, do you know what else we felt like putting as little work/effort into as possible? Answer: writing these show notes! So if you’ll excuse me, I’ll stop writing them now.

Enjoy the show, and happy whatever-holiday-you-celebrate.

(But don’t forget to pick up Unicorn Western… it’s FREE ON AMAZON THROUGH FRIDAY 12/28/12!)

To view the video version of this episode, go to: Self Publishing Podcast #35 – How to Turn Any Stupid Idea Into a Book & the Story of Unicorn Western

This week, we continued our discussion of using funnels to sell your fiction. This was nicely summed up by Sean right up front when he said that using funnels forces you to think like a publisher… and remember that it’s usually publishers, not writers, who actually make money doing this stuff.

But first, voice mails!

Leaving reviews in light of Amazon’s sock puppets crackdown

Stefanovich (sorry if I spelled that wrong; it’s not as easy as “Frank”) called in to say that with Amazon cracking down on bogus reviews, the spillover has caused Amazon to react and pull ANY review they feel might be overly biased or written by an author about a peer’s or competitor’s work. She said she’s terrified to criticize other books in reviews because it might get her reviews pulled.

Our advice was to not worry about it. The worst that can happen is that the reviews will be removed, but that doesn’t hurt the review-maker. And they do let a lot of stuff slide through.

Turning TV series scripts into Amazon serials

This was a really cool idea… to take scripts and put them on Amazon in order to drum up attention that could then be used as cache when Garrett pitches the series to producers.

Garrett says that he doesn’t want to make money on the serials and just wants maximum exposure and asks our advice. We all thought it was a great idea, but urged him to think of money anyway. The total dollar value sold will impress producers more than “X number of free downloads.”

Plot vs. character is a false dichotomy

Scott called in for clarification about concept vs. plot vs. setting, which we discussed in an earlier episode. He said that he felt that you need both — character and plot — and felt that we were arguing for one or the other.

We must have poorly expressed ourselves because we don’t feel that way at all. It takes both.

More Garrett

We then took a call from one of our favorite callers, Garrett from the UK. There wasn’t precisely a question in here, but we always enjoy his updates. There was then some debate when I implied that Garrett was becoming part of our own “Wack Pack,” but Dave took issue with this because he’s in lust with Garrett.

Marketing funnels for writers

We continued our discussion of marketing funnels, and somehow this became sexual. We must all be pent up. The podcast is so sexy.

But in general, Sean spelled out his massive marketing funnel for a children’s project he’s masterminding (and that I, Johnny, am also working on).

We also talked about using a list to drive your popularity in conjunction with KDP free promos. This is a big deal, and we’ll probably talk specifically about lists soon. But in general, this is the key point:

Repeat after me: Build a list, then tell those people about free promotions so that they can get it for free… which will cause your work to rise in the rankings and hence get paid attention from new people.

In other words, use the attention you already have to get more attention.

And funnels, etc. But I’ll let you listen to get the whole scoop.

Sean and I started out by mentioning how pleased we are with our stupid new project, Unicorn Western. In case you don’t know the story of Unicorn Western’s origin, it’s in the first half of this episode of our horror podcast, but the short version is this: Sean wanted to write a western, Dave said there was too much research involved (EX: “Do you know the color of smoke that came out of the guns?”), and so I said that if you put a unicorn somewhere in the story, you wouldn’t need to worry about the research because the unicorn would indicate that it takes place in an alternate reality. Sean then joked about writing a “straight up western, but instead of riding horses, everyone rides unicorns.”

So Sean and I decided that we wanted to write a quarter of a million words in mockery of Dave’s “What color is the smoke? Huh? Huh?” curmudgeonry and began writing what will initially be a nine-book series. And the smoke from our guy’s guns is bright fucking pink.

This is proof that ideas aren’t magical. This is the stupidest idea ever, but it’s turning out so awesome.

In fact, here’s the awesome cover of book 1

Stay tuned, because Unicorn Western will be free on Amazon the day after Christmas. If you’d like to be notified about that, be sure to join our mailing list at the top of the homepage or the top of the right-side sidebar.

We took voicemail

We got to ONLY ONE of our voicemails today, leaving a pile we haven’t gotten to yet. The first was from Bonnie, who asked about working with multiple worlds in multiple projects at the same time… or do we. Our answers were pretty unsatisfying because we said, “Just work in multiple worlds.” I’m currently working in three worlds across three projects. It’s just sort of a muscle you need to work on to develop.

Bonnie’s second question was about pantsing vs. plotting. I actually don’t think we answered this one. Oops. But we covered it in a recent episode. We’re so incredibly behind on voicemail that Bonnie may even have submitted her question before we recorded that episode.

We acted organized

After a half hour, we realized we weren’t yet to our topic, so we argued for five minutes about whether we should make today’s show a potpourri and catch up on voicemail and do marketing next week or spilt the marketing stuff into two shows. We decided on the latter and will continue with our marketing funnels discussion next week.

We talked about marketing funnels

Finally.

As usual, I won’t go into a ton of detail here and will let you listen in, but this discussion focuses on a big premise:

It is no longer enough to put out one or two great books and wait for the world to find you. Today’s self-published writer has to create his or her own success by doing smart marketing, which means gathering a ton of leads and sending them through a sequence that results in people buying the next book, then the next, and so on.

There’s a lot to this discussion, but a few of the key components are:

• Write a lot of good books, then keep writing more

• Think in terms of “what’s next,” and always be looking to deliver the next logical step/product for your readers

• BUILD AN EMAIL LIST so that you can make your funnel actually work and communicate with the people in it

• Make the first product in your marketing funnel as “frictionless” as possible for possible readers to consume. For us, that means making smart use of KDP Select free promotions, which will get our stuff into the hands of a lot of people… and then, when they finish that stuff, a call-to-action at the end will lead them to our other stuff.

To view the video version of this episode, go to: Self Publishing Podcast #33 – Marketing Funnels for Writers

Today, we had as our guest the bestselling author and RABID Self Publishing Podcast fan — who may or may not have credited all of her success to the three of us on this podcast — CJ Lyons.

CJ gave us a ton of very practical enhancements and details on some familiar themes, explaining that she’s not good at business while Sean drooled at how good CJ is at business. Here are a few of the high points:

Treat your fans like royalty

When CJ got started, she hand-mailed around 300 books to fans. Those fans loved her, spread the word, and became super-loyal. She loves her fans, and you should too. Be awesome to them and they will be awesome with you.

Build a mailing list

CJ credits her huge mailing list for her ability to reach her fans… to let them know about sales, new releases, and so on. When you command the attention of a lot of people and can drive sales quickly, you’ll move up the rankings… and Amazon’s exposure will do the rest.

To learn how to build a list, go here.

Write more good stuff

What’s the best way to sell more? Why, it’s to write more books! CJ says that she will have written or turned in 7 manuscripts this year. Hell, I’ll be at five myself, and next year I’ll be at Sean-and-Dave levels of production.

Understand that there is no magic bullet… but that there is a magic formula

Sorry to be a tease, but the magic formula actually just underscores the fact that there is no magic bullet. CJ’s formula is 1) write great books, 2) give it time to find an audience, 3) encourage that audience to tell their friends, and 4) repeat. Not easy… but simple.

CJ also talked with us about her success in walking the fine line of the “hybrid model” of publishing, as someone who publishes both traditionally and as an independent author, how to make use of an agent, how to use editors, and a ton more.

To view the video version of this episode, go to: Self Publishing Podcast #32 – How to Sell a Metric Crap-Ton of Books, with CJ Lyons

IMPORTANT: Johnny made a time-sensitive offer during this episode, so act fast if you want to get in on it: Until November 30th of 2012, Johnny is setting up blogs for free to help writers build the platform they need in order to be successful. You can read on or listen to the episode to find out why you really NEED a blog as a self-published writer, but TRUST US… YOU DO. So be sure to get in on this promotion while you still can.

We skipped last week and are airing early this week

We usually run new SPP episodes on Thursdays, but last Thursday was Thanksgiving, so we skipped it. But because we know you can’t live without us, we decided to air the next week’s show a few days early… on Monday instead of Thursday. We also did this to give you extra time to get a “writer’s platform” blog set up for free, since that promotion ends on 11/30.

If you want to know more complicated and time-wasting details about our scheduling, be sure to listen to the episode, where Sean and Dave break my balls for overexplaining it.

In the spirit of the holiday, we decided to spend this episode answering some of our most frequently-asked questions about self-publishing.

Here are the questions we answered:

How do editors work?

Sean and Dave said that the Amazon editors reamed them significantly on their latest round of edits on Monstrous, and this led to a discussion of editors. Specifically, I (Johnny) wanted to know what that editor/writer relationship is like because I’ve never hired one.

When you’re working with a partner (like Amazon), do you have to accept their edits? When will they bend when you disagree with the edits? I also revealed some scarring memories that have tinged my thoughts on editing, mostly involving assbags in writing circles and in non-writing classes who felt they had to say something when there was really no reason to propose edits, using douchy reasoning like, “This seems, I don’t know, wordy or whatever.”

What’s the best way to break up a serial?

In answering this one, Sean and Dave broke down the word count, schedule, and release plan they use for writing serials.

They also talked about the best way to edit serials, how to handle closure at the end of an episode versus a bigger story arc, and more.

What’s the best way to get more readers?

The short answer is that you need an author’s platform. The paradigm has changed, folks… it’s no longer true that you write and wait for people to come to you. Today’s authors — especially self-published authors need to find readers FIRST, then bring those readers to their stuff.

So you need to have a blog, or a podcast, or some other way to get readers to know you.

The best solution for most people is a blog… but not just “a blog.” If you’re serious about building a platform, you need your OWN blog on your OWN hosting plan… NOT a wordpress.com or Blogger blog. Those blogs are technically “on someone else’s turf,” and wordpress.com and Blogger are letting you use their space.

This is NOT what you want. You want something that is YOURS. Only on a self-hosted blog can you put payment buttons, customize fully, upload whatever you need, and add forms.

At this point, I mentioned a promotion I’m doing until the end of November where I’m setting up self-hosted blogs for free. Go to that link and check it out… it’s the best deal you’ll find on getting your blog up and running so that you can start building your platform and getting readers.

And “forms,” you say? Well, aside from blogging, the other important thing you need to do in order to build your platform is to build a list of readers. You’ll need a form to do this, and those wordpress.com and Blogger blogs don’t let you use forms — which is another reason you need a self-hosted blog as your platform.

We strongly recommend using aWeber to create and build your list of readers. We do not recommend Mailchimp for a lot of the “there are limitations that will screw you” reasons that we don’t recommend Blogger or wordpress.com. ALSO: you can’t move your list to aWeber from any other provider later on without losing 3/4 of your people, so if you think you will ever want to use aWeber, start with aWeber. Yes, it’s more expensive. But are you serious about becoming a publisher or not? If so, stop being a wimp and make the investment in your business.

The idea of using an email service provider scares a lot of people, so I also offered this aWeber tutorial video. Check it out — it’ll show you how to build a list, create and place forms, mail stuff, and so on.

How do you mix action versus quiet moments?

We talk this one out, but the answer is more or less that we think you should alternate between fast, action-filled scenes with quieter, more meditative ones.

What Dave says is true: Your action means less if the reader doesn’t care about the characters… so don’t just think “action action action!” Instead, spend time building those characters.

Should I enroll in KDP Select?

KDP Select is a program where you ONLY put your book on Amazon, and in exchange, they allow you to promote your books for free for up to 5 days out of every 90.

Sean and Dave’s business STRONGLY relies on the use of free. All three of us believe that the magic formula is:

Entry product that gets a lot of people through the door > Paid products > Bundles, all facilitated by your email list. (Go back up and read the platform selection again… you need that email list!)

So, we kind of think you should, but listen and see.

That was it. But don’t forget… if you want to get your “writer’s platform” going with a blog, I am setting blogs up for free… but only until November 30. Get your free blog setup here.

To view the video version of this episode, go to: Self Publishing Podcast #31 – Answers to Your Biggest Self-Publishing Questions

We started this show by talking about how I (Johnny) am enjoying — for the first time — writing an outline before beginning work on a project. I’m currently doing this for Fat Vampire 3. There was some contention between Sean and Dave about the outlining process, but that’s always the case.

The way I’m working and the way Sean likes to work (which I learned now that I’m working with Sean on our first Unicorn Western book) involves writing what Sean and Dave call “story beats.” It’s not exactly a rigid plot architecture, but is rather a loose summary — the way you’d write a summary after finishing a book, except that you write it first. The summary/outline gives you guidance and lets you think out the story without being overly rigid or left-brained. I also said that it’s feeling to me like a “pre-rough-draft draft,” which means I’ll now get to play with revamping the story as I write rather than having to wait until I rewrite it in the second draft.

Plot? Setting? Concept?

This led naturally into discussion of the differences between a story’s concept or setting versus its plot. All three of us seem to feel that “rigidly plotted” books come off as exciting but stilted, but we’ve also learned — and I learned the hard way, through many failed fiction projects — that some structure is a godsend.

Specifically, I used to create worlds based on cool situations… but then found that there was nothing going on in my story.

Fat Vampire is a good example. The CONCEPT was “a man is turned into a vampire when he’s overweight, and his overweight nature dogs him into vampirehood.” But that’s just a concept, and I still needed to have my guy do something, or else he’d just sit there and suffer in amusing ways. This would also have me laughing AT my protagonist rather than WITH him. He’d be a joke and nothing more. So I had to come up with a problem he got into and had to get out of, and that became the plot.

There was a ton of more discussion here, much of which revolved around Stephen King’s idea of “situational writing” vs. the tightly plotted work of authors like Dan Brown. The short version is that we like our fiction best when it’s somewhere in the middle — character-driven and situational enough that it feels natural and real and you care about the characters, but plotted enough that your story actually goes somewhere and stays focused. Ultimately, you want something to happen, and having a bit of a roadmap helps.

To view the video version of this episode, go to: Self Publishing Podcast #30 – Concept vs. Plot vs. Setting

Lots of fun stuff today, a much of which came at Dave’s expense. Poor Dave.

We started off by checking the voice mail bag:

Cameron asked about re-setting the world in every book of his series

The question was that in a series of books that don’t intersect or need to be read sequentially, should he “re-set” the setting in each book? Our answer was that this can be avoided by not spending a ton of time describing the setting in the first place and instead letting the characters experience the setting as they go through it. (This was something we discussed with Wool author Hugh Howey.)

Alex asked about the nuts and bolts of self-publishing

Alex wanted us to talk about the specific how-to stuff of self-pub… like how exactly to get your book into a Kindle format and onto the Kindle store, how to get a cover, etc. etc. etc. He also asked about costs of all of it. So we did the only logical thing: We procrastinated. Dave says he’ll get us a guest soon to go through all of that so that we can just sit back and drink coffee/Diet Coke while someone else explains it. So stay tuned.

Gareth called in more feedback

For the third show in a row, we featured voicemail from Gareth, who this time just had a comment in which he totally copped out of the idea he had for a book, and this after calling in to say that he couldn’t think of any ideas. That’s bullshit, but Dave did enjoy listening to his voice.

Sean appealed to Z2134 readers to come to their defense

Sean butted in at this point to do some flagrant self-promotion that I (Johnny) of course shat on him a bit for, but in this case he made an appeal for something that you as our faithful SPP listeners can do that will really help this cheery, rainbow-farting host and his black-cloud companion.

Specifically, if you’ve read Z2134 and liked it, Sean and Dave would love it if you could leave a good review.

They’re getting a lot of crap for being too similar to The Hunger Games. C’mon, folks… let’s tilt those scales back the other way.

Setting the tone of your writing

We spent the rest of the show talking about how to determine the right “tone” for your writing. So for instance, everything Dave touches writing-wise has the tone of “dark enough to melt your soul,” whereas all of the fiction I’ve published thus far has a very light, humor-meets-serious tone.

We were talking about this mostly around the new young adult project that Sean and I are working on, called Unicorn Western. The concept is bizarre and stupid. Cowboys ride unicorns, The smoke that comes out of the guns is pink. There’s magic. But at the same time, after Sean gave me this ridiculous outline and I begin to follow it, I couldn’t help but write with a more “straight” mood, like a traditional western.

And that’s what we mean by tone. The story is what it is, but how is it HANDLED? What’s the mood? One of our challenges with Unicorn Western is to find that mood, but once we hand it back and forth a few times, we’ll have it firmly established for the rest of the series.

To view the video version of this episode, go to: Self Publishing Podcast #29 – Finding the Right Tone for your Writing

What a bummer this week for those of you who are so incredibly into staring at the three of us, as Google hates Sean and would not let him use Google Plus to start a Hangout On Air. So there’s no YouTube version, and Google has notified him that he’s being demoted and henceforth will only be allowed to use Google Minus.

As a bonus, Skype then got bitchy and we began the session totally out of our heads and distracted. As usual.

Sean and Dave then talked about their site being “hacked” and “accidentally” sending visitors to a porn site. Yeah. “Accidentally.”

Johnny releases Fat Vampire 2!

Yeah, we all know that Dave and Sean produce shit constantly, but *I* am the guy on the show who used to face the production bottleneck that most of you are still probably facing. So if you’re keeping track, I’ve now released two books in two months. Inspiration for all of us.

So…you know…go get Fat Vampire 2.

Voicemail time! – How we get our ideas and the future of serials and shorter stories

We took yet another entertaining email from Gareth about how we get our ideas.

Short answer: Ideas aren’t the problem.

The longer answer is that ideas are everywhere, and that the more you write, the more you’ll find yourself with more ideas than you could ever write.

We suggested borrowing “wouldn’t it be funny if…” or “that’d be cool if…” ideas from life without worrying about whether those ideas were good enough. I for one (Johnny) know that Gareth sent ME an idea that’s really cool via Google Plus (which hates Sean) and that he then passed on it because he didn’t think he could write it.

DUDE. That was an idea. Write it, and don’t worry so much about whether you can pull it off.

I added that the exact same idea could spawn many different stories depending on how it was handled. I could have taken my Fat Vampire story and made it into three very different books depending on whether I treated it like humor, dark horror, or some kind of a historical mash-up.

We then took a voicemail from Bill. Bill warned us that his voicemail might need editing, and accordingly I removed 75% of it because Bill had a shit-ton to say. We kept the core of it: a question about how Sean and Dave produce serials — do they write them all at once and then release them weekly, or write them as they go? The former is correct… write a full season, then release them regularly, with weekly being ideal.

Bill also asked if the market was trending toward shorter stories and more of them versus large opuses of novels. I said there was definitely still room for both, but that shorter stories will help you get rolling faster.

Collaborating with other writers

For the meat (huh-huh… huh-huh) of today’s show, we talked about collaborating. Sean and Dave collaborate on everything, Sean has collaborated with other writers many times in the past, and Sean and I will be beginning work on our young adult Unicorn Western series next week.

Sean and Dave mentioned a few collaboration schemes, as the way they work together has evolved. Some have them working on different parts of any given draft and then sewing the whole thing together over time like Frankenstein’s monster, and some have them working more on different drafts.

Sean and I have decided on a more compartmentalized flow for Unicorn Western books that will go like this:

1. We meet to discuss the story we’ll do
2. Sean will create a rough outline that hits the high points on what should happen in the story
3. I will write the entirety of the rough draft (30-40k words)
4. Sean will rewrite my work into the next draft
5. Sean will take a second pass at the new draft to smooth out the rough spots and polish the copy
6. We will have a third party do a proofreading edit
7. I will go over it one final time to polish the copy again and make any final adjustments.

And while Sean is doing steps 3 and 4 on one story, we will have already talked about the next story and I’ll be doing step 3 for that next story.

Lots of good stuff in this discussion!

Today we have another celebrity guest – the guy who brands himself as an asshole, which makes him perfect for both SPP in general and for talking about haters in general.

But first…

Sean dances Gangnam Style to celebrate Z2134 making it into Amazon’s Top 100 list

’nuff said:

Then, shit got real.

Tucker Max Joins Us For Some Reason

Possibly because Sean slipped him some roofies at a convention a few weeks ago, Tucker Max, the #1 New York Times bestselling author of I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell and other “Fratire” titles spun from the drunken and debaucherous tales of his twenties, joined us to talk about haters and how to deal with them.

Tucker, whose own website proclaims him to be an asshole, started out the conversation by doubling-down on our hater talk by discussing how he started his own meme, gaining “the bad kind of attention” by spreading press about how “Tucker Max advances rape culture” and attempting to rile up just the kinds of groups who would be most against his in-your-face brand of humor.

But then we brought it back to a less raucous level and discussed dealing with people who don’t like your work, even if you didn’t invite those people in.

A few of the topics we hit were:

• You are not your art, and if you can’t make the separation between what you do and who you are, you really shouldn’t be an artist.

• That said, the best approach to dealing with criticism for sensitive people is to go slowly and to have a firm social support network in place.

• Tucker Max the character is a slice of Tucker’s life ten years ago, and even at the time that Tucker didn’t represent the whole person. You can only show a slice of yourself and what you do, so keep that in mind when facing any praise or barbs.

• Remember that most “hating” on your work is about the person doing the hating, not about you or your work. You should take it as such.

• … and a whole lot more.

This is a crazy, crazy episode, folks… buckle yourself in tightly!

To view the video version of this episode, go to: Self Publishing Podcast #27 – Dealing with Haters, with Guest Tucker Max

This episode began with a big love-fest for Sean and Dave’s new official Amazon Serial, Z2134. “Z” has been rising through the Amazon ranks all week and was knocking on the door of the top 100 paid list when we were recording, standing at #107. Now, in case you have your head up a large animal’s butt and don’t know these things, being in the top 100 is a big deal. That’s where the serious sales and serious momentum start.

(And of course, #107 isn’t much worse. If Z were a self-published book, Sean and Dave would really be raking in the dough. They may still be, but they don’t know their numbers yet, and Amazon gets a bigger slice.)

The part where I praise Sean and Dave for being inspirational (yes, even Dave)

Here’s why this matters to all of us.

The high ranking of Z is pulling up sales of all of their other titles, including Yesterday’s Gone Season One, which already ranks and sells very well. So I (Johnny) spent a while drooling over and praising their example yet again: Sean and Dave are just two guys who didn’t get any kind of amazing break, who didn’t get their book pushed by Oprah, and who didn’t have a freak viral spread of their book. They are where they are purely because of their workmanlike ethic, just working their assess off to produce tons of new content.

How to write when you can’t build momentum

We took a voicemail from Scott, intended mainly for me, about getting stuck in trying to finish your book (because I’m the slow one, get it? Ha ha!). Scott has a book that he’s been working on forever… he works for a while, gets derailed, then has to remember where he was when he starts again weeks or months later, then gets derailed after catching up but not actually writing anything new. He asked for tips on keeping momentum.

We had a few, mainly:

1. Outline as you go. Scott said that he spent a ton of time re-reading his stuff to remember the story, and ended up re-writing it in the process… and as a result, never made any forward progress. Dave suggested noting bullet points as you write in a separate document, so that you’ll always have a quick-reference as to your story’s plot.

2. When possible, IF possible, write through your times of stress. Not always do-able, but sometimes writing is about pushing through difficulty and, as we keep saying, just doing the work. I said that sometimes, we look for excuses not to write, and writers tend to seize such excuses readily. I strongly suggested reading Steven Pressfield’s book The War of Art. Every writer should read it and learn to overcome “The Resistance.”

3. Write something else. Dave said that if you can’t push on and if you’re not dying to write what happens next, there’s a chance you’re writing the wrong thing. Writing should be exciting and/or compelling to you, and you should want to know what happens next.

Sean reads questions from Paul (ideal for Anglophiles)

Because we’ve been on a “UK kick” recently with our callers, Sean read a few questions from Paul Wolfe. Remember Paul? He sent us questions. What an asshole to write instead of call, right?

Paul asked about publishing for US audiences from the UK… specifically, should he use US spellings of words in the title? We voted yes in most cases, because we Americans can’t see past things like that a lot of times. So unless your story is set in the UK and is very UK centric, it’s probably better to call your mystery entitled The Colour of Yoghurt to The Color of Yogurt.

Paul also asked about KDP Select and borrowing. When you enroll in KDP Select, Amazon Prime members can borrow one book a month for free, and that would then include yours. We said that we didn’t really care about borrowing one way or another. The borrowing simply comes with the ability to run free promos, which is the real reason we want to be in KDP Select.

The where I wrote another book last week

In an attempt to keep up with the aforementioned crazy production of my co-hosts, I got inspired and worked my workmanlike ass off to write the first draft of Fat Vampire 2 last week. It’s a 40,000-word draft that continues the story of Reginald et. al. from my book Fat Vampire, which I published two weeks ago.

I hope to have Fat Vampire 2 published by Halloween, and to publish Fat Vampire 3 before Christmas. Then I can start taking some of the advice we all give, because I will finally have enough related books online to promote.

World-building for writers

Getting to our main topic, we spent the rest of the time talking about “building the world of your story.” For most stories — but especially for anything that is in any way speculative, like sci-fi, horror, fantasy, and so on — there is a “world” in which your story takes place. How well you build that world will determine how engaged readers become, how much they believe the story, and how easy it will be for you to write any sequels if you so desire. (And then, how eager your readers are to read those sequels.)

I think that one of the best ways to know that you’ve built a good world is if you and your readers want to know more about the world of your story as if it were a real place and thing. For instance: you read the first Harry Potter book and want to know the history of quidditch. Now, that’s a made up game in a made up fantasy world, but I know I wanted to know more as if it were real. That’s good world building.

This also gave Sean and I an excuse to talk about our upcoming project called Unicorn Western, which will require a bit of world-building. (In part, the presence of unicorns is going to allow us to write a western without worrying too much about getting “the real old west” perfect. If we screw up the caliber of a weapon, so what? There’s fucking unicorns in the story, so clearly it’s not set in the real old west!)

There’s a ton to this topic, but we discuss how much to tell, whether to frontload descriptions of your world or to parcel them out over time, when to be specific versus when to write loose (not giving a ton of detail so that you can fill it in later, and have room to maneuver), and so on. Good stuff.

To view the video version of this episode, go to: Self Publishing Podcast #26 – World-Building for Writers

We started this week’s show off by reviewing how we, as writers and publishers, have improved in the 25 weeks we’ve been doing this podcast. We all seemed to feel that we’ve gotten better, faster, and generally more efficient and effective, but we couldn’t say how. Love that specificity. But Sean did have one announcement:

Tucker Max is going to be on the show

You may know Tucker Max as the asshole who wrote I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell, among other popular titles that all make him look like an asshole. I asked Sean, who enticed Tucker to come on in a few weeks via a plot that surely involved rohypnol, if Tucker was an asshole in person, and he said, “Oh yeah, he’s a total cock.” So of course we decided we had to have him on when we talk about dealing with haters. So stay tuned.

(NOTE: I hadn’t been to Tucker’s site before writing this, and now I see that his site begins with the line “My name is Tucker Max, and I am an asshole.” The circle is complete.)

Questions!

We then answered questions from Kevin about how to publish a book in the UK and make it available everywhere (just publish it in the UK store and check the right boxes), from Gareth about writing tools we like (Scrivener is our baby, but there were a few other tips on this one), and from Tom about why you can’t set your price below $0.99 on Amazon now (to our knowledge, it’s always been that way). Then we had margaritas.

A long discussion on our writing processes

A large part of the fodder for this discussion was this post I wrote, called “From Idea to Publication on Kindle in 29 Days,” so you might want to read it and/or follow along. (Even DAVE said it was good!)

But anyway, we spent the last half of the show talking about how we outline our work, write first drafts, edit our own stuff, send it out to beta readers and/or editors, and generally how we work.

A huge part of this discussion was devoted to Sean beating the shit out of me for not using an outside editor, most recently on my new book Fat Vampire. I had the impossible task of defending myself without looking like some sort of an assbag elitist, but I still don’t want to use an editor even though I can’t defend the decision. I really had no way to win here, so you’ll enjoy this section if you like carnage.

To view the video version of this episode, go to: Self Publishing Podcast #25 – Writing Processes that Will Make You a Better Writer

Everyone on the podcast had some awesome news to report this week… and the reason you should care is because it was our interaction with each other, in part, that made the good news possible.

We’re a mastermind group of three writers — a mastermind group that broadcasts its meetings publicly — and the information-sharing and accountability we all share is a lot of the reason behind how seriously we take our craft and our writing businesses, and hence the results we get.

Sean and Dave sign with Amazon’s publishing arm

… but don’t worry, because they’re not selling out self-publishing. Far from it, actually. Because they’re Sean and Dave, they’re not deciding between self-publishing at all. They’re simply adding a project. Amazon called them up and said, “Hey, you want to write a serial for our serials program that we’ll own and get behind and push for you and make you popular?” and they were like, “Sure! We’ll just add that to the fifty books each week we’re already writing!”

Oh, but that’s not all. They’re actually doing TWO serials with Amazon… Z2134, which was previously self-published, and a new serial called Monstrous. You can get Z2134 for pre-sale right now.

You can read Sean’s official announcement here… and of course we go into all of the legally-disclosable details on the show.

Johnny took an idea from conception to a finished book in 29 days

On Tuesday, I (Johnny) released my second book, a horror/humor novella called Fat Vampire. And that’s awesome, and I hope you go check it out, but the bigger story is that thanks to my “masterminding” with Sean and Dave and my seeing how they work, I was able to get the idea (which came out of a hilarious discussion on Better Off Undead episode #6, write the book, have the cover made, and release the thing all in less than a month.

I actually wrote up my entire process in a blog post: From Idea to Publication on Kindle in 29 Days.

The Better Off Undead horror (um… really? It’s about horror?) podcast is now threatening to kick SPP’s ass

Oddly, the podcast we mentioned that we were starting way back in SPP episode #15 in order to better connect with people who might like of our type of writing is now as popular as this podcast. We talk about that a bit… the oddly useful experiment that is the Better Off Undead podcast.

So yeah. We’re glad we did that.

We took voicemail questions

We were way behind on answering questions that people have submitted via that nice big phone number on our homepage, so we caught up on them a bit. We got through three of them, with three left for next week.

Hey, some progress!

To view the video version of this episode, go to: Self Publishing Podcast #24 – The Importance of a Writers’ Mastermind

Today we were joined by Hugh Howey, author of the runaway self-publishing success Wool. If you haven’t read Wool, definitely pick it up and check it out. It’s short and it’s free. The best way to get the rest of the series if you like it is in the complete omnibus (Wool 1-5).

Books in the Wool series, just FYI, sell bazillions of copies monthly (an exact figure), and movie rights to the book were recently optioned by Fox and Ridley Scott.

We didn’t dick around nearly as much before getting started this week, which must mean that we were eager to talk to Hugh. Or something.

Hugh Howey: Yes, he’s had a lot of writing success. But nobody in the popular press talks about how he’s a hybrid of Sean and Dave

Wool is the story of a dystopian society that lives in a buried silo after some sort of worldwide cataclysm, but what we didn’t realize was how dystopian Hugh himself is. We were fooled by nice, friendly videos like this one of him opening fan gifts, this one of him surprising a young fan in a bookstore, and this one of him dancing to Soulja Boy while wearing funny slippers and a funny hat. But then he started telling us vintage Dave Wright trademarked thoughts that always ended with people eating other people because that’s how life is and generally non-happy endings.

Oh, and then we almost kind of remembered to ask him about his self-publishing success. Right.

A few key points from our discussion:

* Hugh didn’t promote Wool because he didn’t believe in it as much as his other work and thought it was the most non-commercial, which just goes to show that you never know which of your writing projects might catch fire.

* He seems to have at least four projects going right now and moves between them as the urge and/or dominant direction of his fiction dictates, which I found odd. (But I’m currently writing three things all at once, so who’s actually doing something odd here?)

* Unsurprisingly, one of Hugh’s tips is to write a lot. That’s a dominant theme here, right? You need a large “Amazon footprint” so that you can be found, and any given project has a chance to hit critical mass.

* More of Hugh’s advice: Write a lot of different types of work that interest you rather than staying really narrow in focus, beat writer’s block by writing something else (because if the book doesn’t excite you, it won’t excite a reader), and stop dead in the middle of scenes, paragraphs, or sentences when you’re done for the day to create an open loop you’re dying to close.

* One of the greatest things about Kindle and other e-book formats is the ability to experiment and get real-time fan feedback — something you can’t do with a traditional book and with many other hands on a project.

… and of course a whole, whole lot more.

Oh, and Hugh enjoyed hanging out with us so much and/or secretly hates life enough that he stuck around after this episode and joined us for Better Off Undead episode #9, which we recorded immediately afterward. Check that one out if you’d like an answer to, “Is Hugh actually the vampire version of Dave”?

To view the video version of this episode, go to: Self Publishing Podcast #23 – Interview with “Wool” author Hugh Howey

Because he really likes to chase shiny pennies, Sean has been flogging himself for almost two years now about not using YouTube and video in general more to publicize his fiction. Don’t worry, I told him during the course of the show that he was being a neurotic douchebag because it’s not like he’s been eating chips and sitting on the couch… he’s been writing ten fucking books a week or something as well as about a zillion other things. But then I realized that despite Sean’s neurosis, video really kind of is something we authors should all be doing more of. Brainstorming on how to trick Dave into doing it for us began.

Johnny gets fat

I started this one off by proudly announcing that thanks to the inspiration and motivation and masterminding that these weekly podcasts give me, I’ve just completed a new novella called Fat Vampire, about a man who is turned into a vampire while overweight and out of shape, and who consequently clashes with the chic, thin, stylish, washboard-abs-and-salon-hair vampire set.

I wrote it in eleven days, and thanked the drive I get out of the podcasts (not to mention the spark of the idea itself) for making it happen — something I hope the rest of you are feeling from listening to us.

Fat Vampire will be available in a few weeks.

Meet Paul Wolfe

Paul Wolfe, who Sean has known for a while now but has kept from us for some reason, has had some serious video-related success with his website where he teaches people how to play bass guitar. He’s got almost 9000 YouTube subscribers to a string of videos about (shockingly) how to play the bass, 2.8 million views, and — most importantly to us — has built a 12,000 person mailing list almost entirely from traffic he’s gotten from YouTube.

The trick with how Paul uses YouTube and his YouTube channel is that he doesn’t want to build his YouTube audience. Once someone is on one of his videos, his goal is to immediately get them off of YouTube… and onto his website, where he can build that list, engage with them, and whatnot.

Paul gave us a lot of tips for how to maximize what we get out of putting our podcasts on YouTube, the biggest of which was to break our hour-long videos into more consumable, much shorter videos which are laser-focused on a specific topic.

Now, we’re talking to authors about self-publishing here, but on our Better Off Undead podcast, we talk to our readers… and we put those videos up on YouTube too.

So with our Better Off Undead videos as an example, the lessons that follow apply to all authors who are trying to talk to readers via video.

(Side note: If you don’t have a video podcast like we do, you could still just record videos like this as stand-alones rather than clipping them out of longer videos like we could.)

So if we talk about Stephen King’s The Stand for five minutes during the course of a show, Paul suggested doing this:

1. Break that five minutes of us talking about The Stand out into a separate five-minute video.

2. Title it “Stephen King’s The Stand” or “Why The Stand is awesome” or whatever, because those are the kinds of things people might search for or watch if they found.

3. Write the description such that keywords people might search for about “Stephen King” and “The Stand” appear and will be found in a search.

4. In the video, point people back to our site and/or a full version of the video on our site.

5. Then, let people find the video by searching, come to our site, fall in love with us, join our lists, and so on.

We also talked about a bunch of other strategies authors can use to build their audiences with video.

If you want the raw scoop on how to do all of this, be sure to visit Paul’s marketing blog at OneSpoonAtATime.com.

To view the video version of this episode, go to: Self Publishing Podcast #22 – Using Video for Publicity, with Paul Wolfe

We started this one out with an announcement that 1) We really like our own podcasts, 2) I’m eating a banana, and 3) I (Johnny) am writing a new story that is really damn hilarious and awesome but that I’m unwilling to tell you anything else about.

Talk about useless.

Should you keep writing new stuff while you’re editing an earlier project?

Despite the fact that we’d already rambled on for fifteen minutes, we spent 15 more minutes rambling on to answer a question Stacy emailed us about whether or not it makes sense to start working on a new writing project while editing something else.

Sean said he does but thinks it’s not ideal.

I said that I don’t have any problem with it at all and plan to edit my current project while writing the next one.

Dave opened a Diet Coke.

And like I said, a long-ass answer followed.

Amazon’s new Kindle Serials program is awesome-looking, but not for indie authors yet

Last week, Amazon announced its new Kindle Serials program, which will allow readers to subscribe to a book once and receive updates over time.

This contrasts with the way Sean and Dave are serializing, which requires readers to either buy every single episode or to wait for the full “season” of six episodes and buy that.

The disadvantages of Sean and Dave’s way are that they have to work-work-work-get paid, whereas the Kindle Serials program would let them get paid up front. It’d also be better for readers, who wouldn’t have to buy multiple books and would get updates automatically, the same way podcast subscribers get new podcast updates automatically.

We spent a lot of time going back and forth, with questions like these:

• The Kindle Serials program is currently invite-only. Will it ever roll out to all indie authors, or will serials authors have to be hand-picked by Amazon?
• Will this hurt Sean and Dave’s current model, because people will get used to the new paradigm?
• Is this a good thing for ALL serials, because it makes serialization more mainstream?
• Will a mainstream influx of new serials flood the marketplace?
• and of course
• What is the “deal” for Kindle Serials authors? They haven’t announced it yet. It it like a traditional buying of a book by a publisher? What are authors paid?

To view the video version of this episode, go to: Self Publishing Podcast #21 – Serialization in Amazon’s New Serials Program

Sean started this episode off by giving a great teaser for a movie. Apparently Sara Silverman is on a couch delivering lines and it’s so funny. I mean, shit, I’m sold for sure.

Creepy voicemail

The first of our voicemail was creepy because Mike totally worked it, hitting such show favorites as Dean Fucking Koontz, goths in trees, and Justin Bieber. He then said that we were awesome and worked in a question toward the end (though it was totally tacked on,) about which platform he should use for a first nonfiction book.

We said Amazon. Or iBooks, done through Lulu.com, which would be good for nonfiction. (There was more discussion, but this was the heart of it.)

The second voicemail from Cassandra was creepy because she expressed interest in my abs, which then led to a discussion of Dave’s abs, which we decided could colorfully be described as “pendulous.” She asked about Smashwords. We then discussed Smashwords. See how this works?

We had a final question that wasn’t via voicemail and hence may or may not have been creepy. It was from Scott, who asked about converting a largely graphic book to Kindle. The short version is that we have no fucking idea, but that we think it’s damn near impossible to literally use all those images.

Building your tribe and telling others to piss off — and no, not literally, but we know what the real score is

There’s a ton to this discussion, but the short version is that you can’t try and talk to everyone in your books, your marketing, and in your online platform. You have to be yourself and accept that some people won’t like you… because only by allowing some people to not like you will you form strong bonds with the people who DO like you.

Food for discussion on this point is Derek Sivers’s post Reach Them Like You Would Want To Be Reached, which introduces the oft-cited (by me, anyway) concept of “proudly alienating” people who don’t resonate with your message. Note that this is PROUD alienation, meaning that you’re not just accepting that some people won’t like you. You’re PROUD that they don’t resonate; you’re saying, “Awesome. Don’t let the door hit you in the ass on your way out.”

The genesis of this idea recently, though, came from Sean’s experience with his Digital Writer site. He found out that the people on that rather large list were not his ideal people. So he wrote a tactful “fuck off if you don’t agree with my new direction, and join me if you do” post and email to that list and ended up with a much smaller — but a much better and more resonant — list that represented his true tribe.

So… don’t shoot for a zillion people who “kind of like you.” Be real and shoot for a smaller list of people who LOVE you.

To view the video version of this episode, go to: Self Publishing Podcast #20 – Building and Trimming Your Tribe

I (Johnny) started this show off with two shocking announcements.

Shocking announcements!

After our discussion last time with Joanna Penn, I admitted to being intrigued by the promising nature of the erotica genre and to having downloaded and read 50 Shades of Alice in Wonderland during a brief family getaway at the beach last weekend. Sean asked if I decided to write erotica, if I’d talk about it on the show and I dodged the question. Dave offered his visage for potential hot and sweaty cover photos. Or at least sweaty.

I further admitted to eating during the taping because I hadn’t eaten lunch: sunflower seeds and beef jerky. Dave asked me to talk at more length about my eating habits.

An update on our Better Off Undead podcast guerrilla (not gorilla) marketing plan

A few episodes ago, we talked about reaching our potential readers via a new zombie podcast called Better Off Undead, and now, after releasing just four episodes, I gave an update on how well that’s going.

Short version: It’s going great, and is actually growing faster than SPP grew at the time. Our episode on fast vs. slow zombies was particularly huge, netting almost 1300 downloads so far, which is a number it takes an average SPP episode a month or so to hit. So yeah, it’s going well, and after only a month of recording.

Oh, and if you’re into horror or the supernatural (or just enjoy three guys who can’t stop laughing and making fun of each other while pretending to talk about horror or the supernatural) be sure to subscribe to Better Off Undead.

Buying reviews is for scammy douchebags

This all began for us when Dave passed around a link to an article about a guy who was selling reviews to self-published authors. The basic gist is that for a fee, the guy would say that your book was awesome — and he’d say it more times if you paid more, of course. The hammer was that self-publishing success story John Locke used this guy’s services… which in our minds kind of invalidates a lot of what John said was his route to success.

There’s a ton to this, but a few of the bullet points are:

• There’s a fine line between buying reviews and quid pro quo reviews and the kind of natural, organic reviews that result from solid relationships built with fans… but like obscenity, we all know the bullshit stuff when we see it.
• It’s tempting to lose faith in the system of reviews on the internet and on Amazon in particular, but we believe that it’s in Amazon’s best interests to develop algorithm changes that will weed out bogus stuff… and so they probably will, in time.
• The worst thing about this is that it’s tempting to feel like we’re all suckers for NOT cheating, because it’s like trying to swim with ankle weights while all of the bullshitters are making big and seemingly easy gains. But don’t be tempted; it’s ultimately not worth it and not as valuable in the long-term as building a real business and readership based on quality. Fodder for this discussion: Tommy Walker’s article on the truth about online manipulation and the follow-up.
• ALL kinds of “gaming the system” strategies are short-term games that sacrifice long-term success. The stuff we talk about in this episode is no exception. Your best strategy if you’re serious about being a real author with a solid, loyal fan base is to be honest and not try to cheat by buying reviews.

Questions! Questions!

We had a few minutes at the end to catch up on some of the questions people have sent us. (We love questions! Call us to submit yours.)

• Steve asked about which fonts to use. Unfortunately, we didn’t have much to say on the topic. Dave likes Georgia, though.
• Christy asked if writing fiction was our full-time job, and if so, when we made the switch. I am DEFINITELY not a full-time-income fiction writer, but Sean and Dave are essentially there, though Sean says they leapt before they were truly ready, which was ballsy.
• Christina asked about picking titles for fiction. We basically were totally unhelpful and said, “Pick something interesting and don’t overcomplicate it.” Bonus Marge Simpson impressions from all three of us.

And that was it. Enjoy, folks!

To view the video version of this episode, go to: Self Publishing Podcast #19 – Buying Reviews and Other Scammy Bullshit We Hate

We started this with our traditional banter, touching on topics from 1) me being inspired by the Self Publishing Podcast (how modest!) to 2) Dave moving to a day schedule to 3) Dave’s true nature being soft and cuddly. It was worthless but fun, just like how we occasionally are on topic.

Voice mail fun involving profanity and how to market your Kindle books

We took two some cool voicemails before starting with our guest, Joanna Penn.

The first was uncredited, probably because his voice message exposes himself to be a motherfucking douchebag assbag cocksucker, and was about using profanity in our writing. Do we do it deliberately, or do we do it “as it falls out of our dickholes”? (I can’t believe people think this podcast is “blokish.” Can you?

The second question was about marketing we’ve done that didn’t work. I said that nothing has really worked for me and that Podiobooks hasn’t done much for me probably because I only have one book. Sean said that guest posting and the Kindle Fire giveaway they did were worthless. Dave took a nap.

Live, with Joanna Penn!

We then teased for an update on our Better Off Dead podcast while our guest, Joanna Penn (she’s got a fiction site and a nonfiction site) downloaded something to make our hookup work. Then she came on and we dropped the Better Off Undead update, thus being annoying assholes. But what else is new? (We’ll give that update next time.)

Joanna is interesting to us for a lot of reasons, but the one that had us calling her to be on SPP was the fact that after a very successful self-publishing run for two of the three books in her historical/religion-based ARKANE thriller series (Pentecost and Prophecy), selling almost 50,000 books, she announced that she was signing with an agent with the goal of finding a publisher to take over the series, and maybe more of her work as well.

We took a lot out of the discussion of why she made the leap and what’s behind it, but here are a few of the important takeaways:

Today more than ever, authors are empowered. It used to be you had to lick the boots of agents because they were your only way in. That’s no longer true, and it puts us in stronger bargaining positions.

If you think you might want to be traditionally published one day, using self-publishing as a springboard is maybe the best way. It’s a way for you to prove that you can sell BEFORE they take you on. It also gives you a platform, and authors need audiences first if agents or publishers are to pay attention to them.

You can and should pay close attention to your contract. Joanna has tips.

Rights are negotiable. Joanna is still able to self publish. Her agent may or may not represent her later stuff, at her discretion.

Foreign rights matter. Joanna and Sean had a back and forth on this in which Sean thought Joanna was validating his cause in front of the stodgy Dave, but I came to Dave’s defense because Sean’s argument for translating his stuff and Joanna’s are apples and oranges.

And a lot more stuff.

Oh, we also discussed this incredibly phallic book cover. We’re going to make you listen to find out why, though.

To view the video version of this episode, go to: Self Publishing Podcast Episode #18 – Going from Self Publishing to Getting a Literary Agent, with Joanna Penn

We got a lot of email and questions and voicemails last week, but two things happened that I am hereby going to blame for the fact that we didn’t address any of that or answer any of the emails until yesterday:

1. Apparently GMail changed its spam algorithm and started sending all stuff sent via our contact form to spam. Awesome! It’s sorted now, though.

and also,

2. Audacity, the program I use to process the voicemail audio files, was being a bitch. So I couldn’t do that in time either.

So we’ll get to your questions next time. Sorry about that.

How to use your mailing list for marketing and keeping in touch with readers

We were able to take one question from S.A. about how’s the best way to manage your reader email list, and how often to send stuff to them. Sean said you should send them stuff every week. I said that I would never send them stuff every week, but would instead wait until I had something meaningful to say. A brawl ensued.

Dave then proposed blogging more often about ourselves, and Sean and I shit all over him.

I read an ancient story from my past

This weekend, my mom gave me back my Dr. Seuss My Book About Me, which I had filled out when I was six years old. The book contained a story I’d written longhand about an adventure undertaken by a cat named Bob and a dinosaur named Stegy. I decided to take two and a half minutes to read it, while stumbling over the misspellings (“uvcors” = “of course”) and lack of punctuation. I’m still not sure if this was a cute look into the development of a storyteller or just stupid. You can decide.

Here’s a scan of the pages I was reading from. See if YOU can read my jumble:

You could probably take some kind of a moral from this. The one I took was “You have to be willing to go through the phase where you’re a shitty storyteller before you can hope to become a good one,” but feel free to also take from this “Holy fuck was Johnny incoherent!”

Rituals that will make you a better or at least more productive writer

This section started with me reading Steven Pressfield’s ritual from the first chapter of The War of Art and contained a LOT of Sean bagging on Dave for having no schedule and being totally inefficient. I tried to come to Dave’s defense, saying that if Dave gets the words out, Sean should back off. Sean said that Dave could still get the words out but work fewer hours. A brawl ensued.

My contention about Pressfield, though — and we all agreed that this was the best way to look at rituals — is that you shouldn’t rely on pixie dust to write good stuff. You should treat it like work. You show up, you sit down, and you do it.

Here are few of our hints and tips and habits:

• You MUST eliminate distractions, including phones and email. ESPECIALLY email.
• In fact, read this now, and then read the follow up, which is where the hammer really falls. Those are two posts I wrote about learning that checking email only twice a day is the best productivity enhancer and time-saver ever. Then, after reading commit to ONLY ANSWERING EMAIL DURING DEDICATED TIMES. This is hard to do, but you will be AMAZED what it does for your ability to write.
• I always start at 6am and write for around two hours. My coffee is prominent in here.
• Sean suggests working in 90-minute blocks, to keep things fresh. You can add more blocks later in the day if you want more writing time.
• We like the idea of stopping dead in the middle of a hot scene instead of finishing it and starting next time with a fresh scene. Doing the latter is like stopping a train completely; it will take you time to get back up to speed. Doing the former is like jumping from a moving train and then running to hop back on later. It’s already going, so it’s easy to keep going in your next session.
• Dave and I like to write to music. It sets a mood and blocks out the outside world.
• We all like writing in the wee hours of the morning, but I find I’m frustrated by the need to sleep. Fucking sleep. But if you can write at 4am, when the world is quiet, that can be awesome.
• Even if you’re a “pantser” who prefers working by feel, giving yourself a rough outline or at least a few points to hit can really help steer you in the right direction and make your life easier.
• And some nerdy general time management ideas.

Some reminders

We wanted to remind you to check out our Better Off Undead pop horror podcast if you’re a horror/zombie fan, if you like to laugh, or if you dig our stuff in general. It’s fantastic.

Sean and Dave have a new short story out called Hide and Seek. It’s not porn, though it has a porn title.

And as always, we’d like to remind you to leave us a rating and/or review on iTunes if you like the show… it really helps us to grow and help others!

To view the video version of this episode, go to: Self Publishing Podcast Episode #17 – Writing Rituals That Will Make You a Better Writer

We talk a ton about self-publishing your fiction on this podcast, but we know a lot of you are into publishing nonfiction and/or using platforms like Kindle e-publishing to promote your business. We all want to make money, but the nonfiction route is arguably more direct. That’s mostly what we talk about in this episode.

But first, we talked about a few other loose ends.

I’m loving writing to music

I read in what could be called this podcast’s bible — On Writing — that Stephen King writes while listening to loud music like Metallica and AC/DC. This always seemed strange to me because I need total silence to concentrate. But what he says is that the music is “just another way of closing the door,” and you need a closed door in order to write.

But, prior to these past two weeks, I’ve only had two hours a day to write (6-8am), and they’re fitful hours at best because although the house is at its quietest then, I’m still constantly interrupted. And if I sleep in, I’m fucked. I can’t write that day. That sucks. I figured if I could learn to write to music, I could write whenever I wanted… and so I made myself try.

It’s amazing. I recommend anyone who is unable to find distraction-free time give it a shot… and if you think you’ll be distracted by the lyrics, I thought that too. It took a bit of getting used to, but now the door is fully shut, and I can write whenever.

In case you’re wondering, I’m currently writing to Eminem’s Recovery album and Rob Zombie’s Past, Present & Future. I’ve also tried Rancid, Bad Religion, Green Day, Social Distortion, and a few others. Social Distortion’s White Light White Heat White Trash is probably my favorite to write to so far.

NOTE: I think a key to making this work is getting a good set of comfortable, “cans” style headphones. This is the pair I use, and they’re AMAZING. Check ‘em out.

Self-publishing for nonfiction and business strategy

Then we got on to the main topic. But first…

DISCLAIMER: We say toward the end of this episode that the Kindle Marketplace is not some kind of a spam playground, or at least that it shouldn’t be. Don’t think “make money by publishing on Kindle.” Think “promote using e-publishing as one intelligent strategy” or “sell a lot of good, solid books on a topic people care about.” There’s too much get-rich-quick thinking in this area, and it WILL come back to bite get-rich-quickers in the ass. An intelligent business strategy is a much better investment of your time and energy.

With that out of the way, we talk about how to:

• How to target and organize your nonfiction book
• When to use which strategies — breaking your book into nuggets vs. using a single, larger book

• How to use a nonfiction book as a call to action for another part of your business
• How to use nonfiction as lead generation.

This is what I’m doing. I have a book, The Universe Doesn’t Give a Flying Fuck About You, that was simply a repurposed post from my blog that I put up on Amazon so it could reach people that my blog couldn’t. What surprised me was that it sold very well on Amazon at 99 cents, probably due to its title. So, I recently made it permanently free and it now “sells” around 80-100 copies per day.

I’m using this to get new leads for my business. I have a manifesto called How To Be Legendary that is very much in the same style as the “Universe” post/e-book that I’ll be releasing shortly, and when this funnel is complete and the manifesto posted, it’ll work like this:

1. The “Universe” post sells for free on Amazon, and thousands of people get it each month.
2. There’s a call to action at the end of that e-book, telling people about How to Be Legendary
3. People go to my site and get the manifesto. In doing so, they’re joining my email list.
4. They’ll get a series of emails about the same topic.
5. Those emails end in a pitch for a new “legendary” (and very inexpensive) membership program I’m developing.

Sean and I also talk about a zillion other ideas to try, while Dave groans about us in the background.

Better Off Undead update

Last week, Sean, Dave, and I — who are all either published horror writers (them) or working on zombie books (me) — launched our new podcast, “Better Off Undead”, as a vehicle to talk about the things we like to write about and to begin connecting with people who might enjoy reading our stuff. It’s our first serious, intensive effort to “get into the world of our readers,” and the effort is off to a great start. Despite the fact that the show is brand, brand new, over 200 people have downloaded our first episode reviewing the horribly hilariously good/bad movie Birdemic: Shock and Terror and the feedback has been fantastic.

Our second episode, about fast zombies vs. slow zombies and about a billion other things, is available now. We’re also having insane amounts of fun recording the show.

So we’d call this an early success, but we’ll keep you updated here on how it works as a promotional tool.

To view the video version of this episode, go to: Self Publishing Podcast #16 – Using Kindle and Self Publishing to Build Your Business

This week’s topic was ostensibly “dealing with and responding to criticism of your work,” but as usual we screwed around and covered a bunch of random other topics first.

Our new podcast as a way of connecting with readers

Remember all the times Dave has said that you should go to where your readers are, and get in there with them, talking about the stuff you write about and that they’re interested in? So if you’re into sci-fi, find sci-fi readers in forums. Start a sci-fi blog. Go to where they are and become a voice in that niche, so that when they want more of that stuff they love, your books can provide it.

In that spirit, we’re proud to announce our new zombie, vampire, and generally monster-and-horrorific podcast, Better Off Undead.

Now, if you know (and love!) my novel, The Bialy Pimps, you may be wondering how a horror podcast is remotely in-line for me. The answer is that I’m currently working on a zombie trilogy, so it’ll be in-line with my for-sale items soon enough. Sean and Dave are working on a new zombie trilogy, and their current titles are all supernatural horror.

This stuff — the world of supernatural movies, books, and comics, as well as series like The Walking Dead and True Blood — is stuff we love to watch and read, and stuff we love to talk and write about. So it was a no-brainer.

In our first episode, which is available now, we kick off with something fun, thus proving that we’re not all about gore and being scary — a review of the epically terrible film Birdemic: Shock and Terror.

You must — MUST! — watch the video below of some of the best action from Birdemic:

So if you’d like to watch us review that motherfucker, head on over and subscribe to Better Off Undead.

And of course, we’ll report on how it impacts our book sales and general self-pub efforts here as time goes on.

Johnny’s Podiobook release update

In our episode about creating audiobooks with Podiobooks.com’s Evo Terra, we mentioned that the free, totally free, and also free version of my novel, The Bialy Pimps, is now available. I gave an update as to how that’s helping me promote. Three things stand out:

1. There were around 3000 downloads of episodes of my podiobook in the first 6 days, but
2. I have zero idea if this is helping me, and
3. We all suspect that this strategy works best if you have multiple books, which I don’t yet.

But one has to be your first podiobook, and I have mine online. That’s not something Sean and Dave can say. Suck it, Sean and Dave!

This really is a grassroots, DIY world for artists

We took a brief diversion to talk about Patton Oswalt’s keynote address at Montreal’s Just For Laughs 2012, where he talks about how comedy (and, by extension, any art form, like writing) has fundamentally changed. You no longer take one big shot and then rocket to stardom. This is a day in which our success is all up to us. That’s both the good news and the bad news.

We also touched on Amanda Hocking, who just signed with a traditional publisher. Dave mentioned offline that she keeps roughly the same schedule as he does, thus proving once more that he’s very much like a semi-goth girl.

Criticism: When to use it and when to ignore it

Our main topic takes up over half of the podcast, but takes up a very small portion of these show notes. Maybe it’s because I’m tired of typing.

Sean and Dave talked about the feedback and reader criticism that caused them to change (add to) the ending of Season 3 of Yesterday’s Gone, and said that this was an example of “good” criticism, because it helped them improve.

We also talked about criticism that sucks and that we don’t like to read… and that you can often safely ignore and not take personally. The person giving you a negative review or leaving a negative comment probably didn’t mean it as a personal attack. It was probably just a case of your stuff not being right for them. And it’s part of the game of being an artist, unfortunately.

As a parting shot, I also mentioned a post I wrote for Copyblogger about handling criticism, and how trying to engage the more reasonable among your critics might just win you a fan for life.

To view the video version of this episode, go to: Self Publishing Podcast #15 – Guerilla Publicity Through Podcasting and Responding to Criticism

I knew we’d be in for a fun ride this week as we talked to Evo Terra, one of the creators of Podiobooks.com, a service that syndicates audiobooks for free via podcast feeds.

I (Johnny) became interested in Podiobooks and mentioned it first in SPP episode 7 as yet another underexploited guerrilla tactic to go out and get more readers.. So did Sean and Dave, but while they sat on their audio files (Dave’s fault. He claims an excuse involving goths), I published mine.

So, as of today, right now, my book, The Bialy Pimps, is available at Podiobooks. Check it out. It’s free, yo.

But what’s the point of a podcast audiobook as a publicity tool for self-published authors? Why would we do this? Why should you consider doing this? And how did the Podiobooks guys get the idea for something so nutty in the first place?

Evo is a long-time podcaster (he’s one of the authors of Podcasting for Dummies), so when a few author friends became frustrated with their inability to distribute their work, Evo came up with the idea for a Podiobooks, which allowed authors to distribute their stuff in a totally grassroots, totally without-gatekeepers kind of way that nobody was really doing. It allowed readers, on the other hand, to follow the books in installments, for free, via whatever listening devices they wanted. Serialization came to audio fiction. The authors (the best known of which is Scott Sigler, who has had mondo success thanks to Podiobooks) got the audience they were looking for. Win freakin’ win.

The way it works is like this:

1. People looking for interesting podcast and/or audiobook stuff find your audiobook via search on a podcast directory or online. (Or, today, now that Podiobooks has its own audience, people also simply find you right on the Podiobooks.com site).

2. These people subscribe to your audiobook using iTunes or another podcast directory in the way they’d subscribe to any podcast. (SIDE NOTE:If the idea of subscribing to a podcast confuses you, here’s a video showing you how to find and subscribe to something in iTunes. You should now test it by searching iTunes for “The Bialy Pimps” and subscribing to my podiobook.)

3. People get to know you, your name, your personality, and all of the other stuff we talk about.

4. These people, now interested in you, become fans. They might buy the text version of your current book or they might buy later books.

5. Phat stacks of cash ensue. (Okay, maybe not always.)

It’s just one more way to get out there in a DIY way. And it’s pretty cool.

We’ll of course update you on how well our Podiobooks experiments go right here, but in the meantime, be sure to get the free Podiobooks version of The Bialy Pimps. And tell your friends!

To view the video version of this episode, go to: Self Publishing Podcast Episode #14 – Using Free Distribution to Build Your Readership w/ Evo Terra

This week, we delved in deep on what we feel is the best writing tool anywhere, ever, since the invention of the pencil: Scrivener. For this epic discussion of our favorite writing software, we managed to coerce Gwen Hernandez, author of the upcoming Scrivener for Dummies book, to join us on the podcast.

Gwen started as a nonfiction author, decided she wanted to write romantic suspense and wrote a lot of it, but ended up blogging tips about the software she used to write it. She became known as an authority on Scrivener and ended up getting her first book credit for a book about what she used to write her books, which was very meta.

Among the amazing cool things Scrivener has going for it are:

• It allows you to drag and drop scenes from place to place
• It keeps all of your writing — and all of your research — in one contained place
• It allows you to make annotations and comments in your work so that you can keep writing fast and address your short-term concerns later
• It allows you, as a self-published author, to do all the “heavy lifting” of proper formatting for different devices/platforms on your own
• It works for fiction, nonfiction, scripts, novels, novellas, short stories, and any other form of writing
• It saves your work meticulously, so that you’re always backed up and never lose anything you write
• It allows you to take “snapshots” of your project before making changes, just to be sure and to allow you to revert at any time
• … and about a billion other cool things.

Gwen also outlined a few cool features in this blog post about how to write fast.

The wrap-up

After we let Gwen go lest she contaminate herself with how idiotic all of us are after a while, we continued to kiss Scrivener’s ass as being awesome.

We then built a shrine to Scrivener.

We sacrificed cows to Scrivener.

We ran around naked in the moonlight in tribute to Scrivener.

We then noted (seriously this time) that Scrivener gives you a 30-use trial to see if you like it and encouraged you to try it out so that you can see how terrible Microsoft Word truly is compared to its awesomeness.

Oh, and then we gave you this link again so that if you wanted to pick up Scrivener, I could get a commission. Thank you!

Sean also made a point to say that we should link this video about how James Ellroy Hates Everything in the show notes. It’s not relevant at all, but it’s funny as shit so we wanted to share it.

Lots to offer in this episode… check it out.

We’re live-streaming video!

We started this episode by announcing that we were, for the first time, streaming the video feed of the Google Hangout we were using to record the podcast. Sean, Dave and I have always recorded our podcasts while also using video so that we could catch each other’s visual cues (like Dave mooning his webcam), but from here on out we’ll also broadcast that video.

You can visit and/or subscribe to our Self Publishing Podcast YouTube channel, or you can watch the archived video of this week’s episode directly.

NOTE: Our intention is to record EVERY Tuesday at 3pm Eastern US time and to broadcast/stream our video in this same way, but we suck at coordination of such things and will certainly not adhere to that schedule exactly. But in general, if you want a laugh, try checking our YouTube channel at 3pm on Tuesdays. Most Tuesdays we should be there, live. (Maybe we’ll even figure out how to do live chat eventually, too.)

Structuring Serials

We took a question from John about how Sean and Dave structure serials, and if it’s different from structuring a novel. They answered the question (Sean had to hear it twice, because he wasn’t paying attention). Because the question wasn’t for me, I took a nap.

Grammar, rules of writing, following rules so you don’t look like an amateur, and breaking rules because rules suck

We spent the bulk of the episode addressing a question submitted by Scott via email. Here’s the meat of the email that Scott sent us:

I am 39 years old and haven’t written a damn thing since I was a kid. I’ve got tons of ideas floating around for a short fiction novel, but never had the balls to put them down on paper…until now. That said, I have some anxiety about writing, particularly as it relates to the proper usage of grammar and punctuation.

I would very much enjoy hearing you guys get into some basic discussion about how you each structure a novel. For example, I find myself getting stumped on proper paragraph structure. I’ve read some people use as little as one sentence…others suggest sticking to the 5-7 sentence per paragraph structure. Basically, some writing and grammar tips 101 from you guys would be helpful.

I know this sounds incredibly basic, but for fuckers like me who paid very little attention in school and never went to college, this can be a source of great anxiety.

There’s a lot to this question. I feel that the many, many, many other people who I’ve found have questions like this have been duped by teachers and other authorities into believing that there is a “right” way to write, and that if you don’t adhere to those “correct rules,” you have no business writing and are just going to embarrass yourself.

In truth, most of the decisions about paragraph length, sentence length, tense, and general style end up comprising an author’s voice… and there is no one correct “voice” for anyone to have.

But still, even if you believe that and choose to consciously defy some of those rules, you need to do so willfully and intentionally, not accidentally because you simply don’t know any better. To that end, we suggest everyone who’d like a firm grounding in how to use grammar and punctuation properly check out these books:

• The Elements of Style
• On Writing (of course)
• Eats, Shoots, & Leaves

And on counterpoint, here’s a post that Sean wrote called 10 Grammar Rules You Can (and Should!) Ignore!

If you choose to break rules, know them first… and have a damn good reason for breaking those rules. But don’t let someone else’s opinion hold you back.

This episode is chock-full of goodness. We talk about the rule-breaking style of Fight Club and House of Leaves and why the voice and style used in a certain passage in American Psycho gives me serious creeps. Also included: Why reading Clive Barker is like eating a really rich dessert.

To view the video version of this episode, go to: Self Publishing Podcast Episode #13 – Rule-Breaking, Voice, and Style for the Self-Published Author

Before getting into our main topic about building great characters, we took a voicemail call from Frank. Frank’s question boiled down to:

“Why are you giving away your self-publishing tricks and secrets? What’s in it for you?”

And that’s an interesting question — one we asked ourselves as recently as Self Publishing Podcast episode 9. The full answer is long, illustrative, and thought-provoking, but here are a few of the reasons we podcast about what works for us in self publishing:

• Thinking and talking about this stuff all the time gives us great ideas about how to improve our writing, our marketing, our process, and our funnels.
• Being in “the writing headspace” helps us to write better because we’re constantly thinking of ourselves as writers.
• We meet new people, learn new things, and make new connections… such as when we met Ed Robertson and talked about how to understand Amazon’s algorithms, and our upcoming (July 26th) episode with guest Evo Terra.
• We reach a ton of new people, make new friends, and generally build our platforms.
• We come to think of writing in new ways… like when I (who in episode 8 said I didn’t understand how two writers could ever write a book together) announced that Sean and I were going to write a book together in episode 9.
• This is a mastermind group for us. Everyone should have a mastermind group. Ours is simply public.

And lastly,

• This is all moot because there are no secrets. These are things we’re trying, and plenty don’t work. We’re on this journey together, and we know we’ll learn from you as you learn from us.

And ultimately, it all boils down to doing great writing anyway. All the “secrets” in the world won’t help a shitty product.

Developing great characters

After that discussion, we got down to our main topic, all about developing characters.

Characters drive your story. Even if you’re writing nonfiction, it helps to think of yourself as a character in your own nonfiction story… and to use that “fiction-like element” in your nonfiction.

Here are a few of the things we think about creating characters, out of order and with no respect paid here in print to whose tips they are:

• Take shortcuts to creating characters by giving them a “foundation.” This could mean borrowing traits from real people or borrowing people in full. (Johnny admits to starting with real people — and going so far as to use their real names in the first draft.)
• As your story progresses, your characters will outgrow the foundation you laid for them. They stop being the people you borrowed from life, and become unrecognizable. (NOTE: if you use Johnny’s trick, be damn sure to change their names at this point.)
• You can write a ton, trying to get “fluent” with the characters and the story, and just plan to cut out all of the “throat clearing” you did in print simply to get to know the characters. (Tipsters here include Tarantino and Hemmingway.)
• Remember that characters are not “good” or “evil.” Good evil characters sometimes do good things. Good nice characters sometimes do bad things.
• Try to see your characters, within the story, from other characters’ points of view. They will appear different through different lenses.

What are your tips and ideas on character development? Leave them below in the comments!

We selfishly (but with the dual intention of giving y’all some ideas) started this episode by giving an update on what we’re currently doing to expand and get the most out of our burgeoning self-publishing empires. I (Johnny) am doing the most different things, but Sean and Dave are doing more productive things. FOR NOW, PLATT AND WRIGHT… MUHAHAHAHA…

Here’s the Johnny stuff we talked about:

• I started the process of getting The Bialy Pimps into the Barnes & Noble Nook and Apple iBook stores
• I’m in the process of making “The Universe Doesn’t Give a Flying Fuck About You” permanently free on Amazon and elsewhere. I’m doing this because the title already sells like mad at 99 cents, and I want to remove all barriers to people getting it. (I’m using it as a lead generation tool, and the start of one of my marketing funnels)
• The Bialy Pimps will officially be launching as a free podcast audiobook on July 25th.

Sean and Dave, for their part, are happy to announce the debut of Yesterday’s Gone, episodes 13 and 14… the first two episodes in the long-anticipated third season. Definitely check it out if you like apocalyptic fiction and what Dave calls “dark whore.”

Using pen names with the man from Mars

… or named Mars.

Mars called in with a cool German accent and a question about using pen names if he wants to write 1) nonfiction about marketing and branding and aslo 2) fiction.

Sean and Dave both said he should use a pen name. I more or less agreed that Mars should use a pen name in his case, but argued that in certain cases (like mine), the content areas aren’t quite as mutually exclusive and that the reader is connecting more with the PERSON than the INDIVIDUAL WORK and that a pen name divides your audience who otherwise might like to read everything you wrote. Hey, it worked for ISAAC FUCKING ASIMOV, I said.

I think Sean and Dave won this debate, because they know a lot more about how to have your cake and eat it too, by both letting your people know all of what you write but keeping Amazon from confusing people who don’t know you yet. And also, I was talking a lot out of my ass.

Why you, as a self-published author, need a platform

Plain and simple, a “platform” is a way you have of connecting with your readers outside of your published works themselves. It’s a way of building a community, being able to talk with people, and so on.

A few key concepts we discuss:

• Our best suggestion is a blog. Dave was all, “Blogger is fine, you guys!” but Sean and I put the smack down on him and are STRONGLY suggesting a self-hosted WordPress blog as your author platform. Our best suggestion for web hosting is Hostgator (that’s an affiliate link), or if you’d like someone to do it all for you, you can hire Sean’s guys at OutstandingSetup.com to do it for you.
• But if you don’t want to do that, Twitter, Facebook, and Google Plus can be your platform. Or forums. Or anywhere else where you can become known, and get people following what you do.
• But again, ideally, you’ll want your own site because then you can build a list of these people and be able to connect with them directly. (We can talk more about this later if you’d like. Let us know.)
• And lastly, the rule with platform is NOT “If you build it, they will come.” We talk in this episode about that fallacy… and how YOU need to go to THEM. They won’t give a shit about you and/or seek you out if you leave them to their own devices.

DEAN FUCKIN KOONTZ

Sean and Dave are anomalies in many ways, but probably the most relevant here (and safe to discuss in mixed company) is the fact that they’ve laid it all on the line and are essentially writing their fiction for a living.

That’s not normal.

Most of us (and I’m including myself, Johnny, very much in this group) do SOMETHING ELSE and want to move more into the kinds of writing we’d like to do. I’m actually a writer. I mean, I make my living through one form or another of writing, and the truth is I love everything I do in my business. But one thing I’d like to do more of is to write fiction, and it’s hard to give myself permission to do that… seeing as it doesn’t pay any bills and is just one more thing amidst a sea of things that I need to justify spending time on.

Many of you listening, I’d guess, would like to write.

Maybe you want to write fiction, or maybe you want to do what I currently do — write nonfiction, or blog, or even be a writer for hire, writing for magazines or newspapers or websites or, hell, for an ad agency.

If you’re currently having an internal struggle about spending time on that writing — if you’d like to self-publish your stuff, be it fiction, nonfiction, or poems about goths in trees but are having time giving yourself permission — then have a listen.

Ultimately, I went around in a few circles and kind of feel like I didn’t make my point as well as I’d have liked.

This isn’t about making money. It isn’t about becoming famous.

It’s more about changing your internal perception of who you are and what you do. It’s about thinking of yourself as a writer so that the “permission” takes care of itself. Because what does a writer do? He or she writes. And what do you do when you’re a published author? You research how the Kindle algorithms work. You spend time listening to self-publishing podcasts. You read. You study storytelling process and character development. You take the time to figure out what works and what doesn’t work in self-publishing.

To do these things and to have permission from yourself, you’ve got to become those things. Change your identity.

Anyway, drop us a line in the comments and let me know if 1) this made sense and 2) if it’s relevant/if you agree.

But before we could get that far, we got off into some typical diversions.

Johnny’s Podiobook novel is coming out July 25th

I got a formal release date for the Podiobook (free podcast audiobook) version of my novel The Bialy Pimps the other day. It releases on July 25th, so if you’re into it (or if you want to follow the process, because you’re a self-published author or want to become one) be sure to join the event using this Facebook event page.

Sean and Dave are still being big slackers. They’ve recorded their own Podiobook, but it’s not done yet. What a couple of douchebags.

Dean Fucking Koontz called in

And we’re still a little weirded out.

And we talked about how to spice up nonfiction and funnels

We didn’t talk about how to spice up funnels. We talked about how to spice up nonfiction. And we talked about funnels. Two totally separate things.

The short version on making nonfiction better is to use your own voice. Don’t let your words be dry and encyclopedic, because then you’re just releasing a commodity. Let your personality intrude. Tell stories to illustrate your point.

The “funnel” discussion was led by Sean. How do you keep people from just being one-off contacts for you? You build a funnel, meaning that you give them something else to buy, or you get them on a mailing list, or you give them bonus material… anything to keep their interest, and keep in touch.

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Oh, and hey, if you like this podcast, don’t forget to pop over to iTunes and give us 1) a ranking (we suggest five stars) and a review (we suggest it involve Ewoks). That’s the kind of thing that helps this podcast grow and spread (like a virus) and we really appreciate it (like we appreciate a virus)!

We’d intended to bulldoze right into this episode and start talking about my (Johnny’s) findings at BlogWorld & New Media Expo (which will henceforth be called simply “New Media Expo”; they’re mixing it up, those crazy guys) as they pertain to writers, writing, traditional publishing, and self publishing… but we got distracted. Surprise, surprise.

Most of what we got distracted with during the first minutes is way too dumb and irrelevant to waste your time with here in te show notes. Apparently we didn’t mind wasting your time with it on the show, though, because we did. It involves our reviews, Dave possibly being Marilyn Manson, and Wade Finnegan titling his review “Wade Finnegan.” Also, French girls and Dave hating people. Again: surprise, surprise.

We took a few voicemails. Sean became Sean Penn and we learned the background of Sean and Dave’s mysterious partnership. (Hint: It involves a tranquilizer dart and handcuffs.) We also talked about “do it for you” services, and when you should let someone else format and assemble your book or e-book and when you should simply DIY.

And then we finally got to BlogWorld. After a half hour. Like real professionals.

What BlogWorld had to say about shit we talk about here

Just so you’re oriented, you might want to check out the BlogWorld schedule so you can follow along with what we’re talking about.

(And for the sake of completeness, should you find yourself listening and saying OH MAN I WISH I’D HEARD THOSE SESSIONS AND NOW I WANT TO GO GOTH BECAUSE I’M SO SAD, you can still pick up the BlogWorld Virtual Ticket — and get access to recordings of all of the BlogWorld sessions — if you’re reading/listening reasonably close to when this podcast went online.)

Here’s some of the sessions I attended, that Sean wishes he’d attended, and that Dave said, “Fuck you guys” to us about:

• Should I self publish or get a book deal? with Jim Kukral and Scott Stratten. Scott was on the “pro” side and Jim was the “self publish” side. It was a cage match.
• The 411 on Recording and producing a great interview with Mur Lafferty and Rob Walch. Look up Mur. Mur has podcasted a bunch of books, distributing them for free, and it’s worked great for her. Rob has done a ton of impressive interviews for his show, which all has relevance in “getting to people” and “getting press,” etc. Stuff we self-published authors need to know about.
• Podcasting for creatives with Mur Lafferty, Evo Terra, and Kate Baker. This was mainly stuff like Podiobooks (which Evo runs). Podiobooks.com is a way of distributing your books free in an audio version, via podcasts. Very cool. All three of us are doing a Podiobook right now.
• The Art of writing epic shit with Corbett Barr. This session by my buddy Corbett from ThinkTraffic was amazing and applied to nonfiction mainly but would apply for fiction as well. His message was to persist, put in lots of hard work, and experiment. It was a very “do the work” message. Also, watch this 2-minute video with Ira Glass from This American Life. I’d seen it before, but he included it in the presentation and it was quite apt. And also amazing.
• Building your blog’s audience and becoming an expert with major press with Jaime Tardy. This was what it sounds like, and it’s appropriate for all of us and for any writer because we can be experts and get big press coverage if we just know what to do and where to look.

Great stuff. (And just remember, if you missed it, you can still get the BlogWorld Virtual Ticket.)

We mentioned at the top of this episode that our latest iTunes review from Glenn Dixon has totally nailed our angle, saying that we’re “like This American Life on a bus.” We couldn’t be more proud.

And hey, speaking of reviews, would you mind heading over and leaving us one? It’s easy. Just go here, then click on the blue “View in iTunes” button below our logo on the left. Once it opens in iTunes, you can both rank us (we recommend a five-star review; studies show it’s the decision made by the most intelligent people) and click to “write a review.”

Getting your books onto Nook and other platforms besides Amazon

Aaaaanyway, in this episode, we first took our first ever CELEBRITY VOICEMAIL, which conveniently asked a question that I’d wanted to explore but that Sean and Dave kept poo-pooing (literally). The question was: How do you get your books onto other platforms, besides Amazon? Which are recommended; which give the most juice? So we talk a bit about getting onto Nook, Apple, Kobo, and the others.

What works in promoting your self-published book… and what blows goats

We spent the bulk of our time talking about ways to promote your book. After our discussion with Ed in Episode #5 about why KDP Select may not be as effective anymore (Amazon’s exclusivity program that allows you to make books free), we figured we should brainstorm other things that worked or totally sucked.

A few we talked about are book blitzes on blogs (say that three times fast), advertising, submitting for reviews, doing giveaways, book trailers, press releases, and all of our new love: Podiobooks.

We’ll talk more about Podiobooks in a later episode, but the short version is that a “podiobook” is an audiobook that’s serialized into podcast episodes, then delivered just like any other podcast (and for free). Sean is currently recording one for Yesterday’s Gone: Season One, and I’m recording one for The Bialy Pimps. We hope to have them up within a few weeks (and then will talk about the process and any effects in depth), but just to give you an idea of what they’re like and how we might use them, here’s the intro I created for the podiobook version of The Bialy Pimps:

That intro will be attached to all 24 of the podcast episodes. Cool, huh? There’s an outro too.

Anyway, more on podiobooks later.

So enjoy. And don’t forget to leave us that review if you enjoy the Self Publishing Podcast!

We’ve got a couple of very different writing styles represented here at SPP. I (Johnny) write from end in one draft… and only then, once the entire thing is done and I can tell what it’s actually supposed to be “about,” can I go back and do edits and rewriting. Dave and Sean can’t do the same, because their work usually doesn’t precisely end so much as it leaves readers on a cliffhanger and keeps them waiting until the next episode. They write like TV writers, and I write like a more traditional novelist.

But even on top of that, Sean and Dave write FAST, like at breakneck speed. I write slow. They’re largely driven by plot, and I’ve always tried to start with characters and a situation and see what happens.

None of these approaches are correct. There is no “correct” way to write. But each has their pros and cons, and your task as a writer is to figure out which one works for you.

And really, the correct strategy is ultimately the one that keeps you writing… keeps you putting words down on the page.

Not to spoil the incredible suspense we’re know for here at the Self Publishing Podcast, but I actually discovered recently that something Dave and Sean are doing is something I should incorporate into my own process. It’s something I didn’t realize was missing, and something that — now that I see it — has revolutionized my writing. (You’ll have to listen to find out.)

In this episode, we tackle several common “writing process” questions, such as:

• How many drafts should you write?
• When should you edit (correcting errors making technical adjustments), when should you redraft (moving sentences around and refining your story), and when should you rewrite entirely (taking the essential idea that was in the first draft and then completely rewriting the scene from scratch)? SPOILER: It depends.
• Should you take a break between drafts of a work? If so, how long… and why is it beneficial?
• How do you get characters to “do things,” and break through story paralysis?
• How do the different types of writing we do require different disciplines, different writing schedules and plans and methods?

We also took a voicemail question from Bill, who asked about the best way to get his already-written book into an electronic format.  There’s a lot of detail to our answer, but the short version is that we highly suggest using Scrivener (aff).

If you have a question for us, give us a call! We love it when people leave us questions. It makes us feel warm and fuzzy. You can call and leave us a question at 641-715-3900 EXT 406770.

All your algorithm are belong to Ed

Here’s an email that Dave sent to me the day after we published SPP Episode #4, Using KDP Select and Free Promos to Promote Your Book:

While we were scratching our asses like monkeys trying to figure why God so mad he make thunder so scary, a few authors were actually solving this riddle.

He then included a link to Understanding Amazon’s New Algorithms Is As Easy As ABC, a post on David Gaughran’s Let Get Digital blog that made Amazon’s algorithms look anything but easy. The post was mostly written by Ed Robertson, a guy who, with the help of an author think-tank, seems to have figured out just what the hell Amazon is doing with its rankings.

So we of course hustled to get Ed on the show, persuading him with the same line we use to pick up chicks: “Hey… we’ve got the top podcast in iTunes for ‘self publishing.’ ” Baby.

A few of the seemingly impossible-to-know questions that Ed answers for us in this jam-packed episode are:

• Why did free promos used to result in big post-promo boosts in sales, and why doesn’t that seem to be the case anymore?
• How does Amazon calculate what gets shown in its vital “popularity lists”… which, by the way, are different from the bestseller lists everyone knows about?
• Is Amazon discouraging the use of KDP Select for certain authors… and might traditional publishers now again have a leg up even in the Kindle store?
• Is the reign of the 99 cent book over? Does it now make sense NOT to price at a buck?

We also may or may not discuss the meaning of life and why children keep throwing holy water on Dave whenever he makes a run to the supermarket.

This episode is killer. You’ll listen again and again.

From the popular site DavesInTrees.com. It bothers Sean and I that we can't see his hands. OH GOD DAVE WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO THAT TREE?

We’re talking about KDP Select today, which is Amazon’s program that lets you do a few things that are supposedly helpful to you in exchange for giving Amazon exclusivity. As I said on the podcast, it looks outwardly like one of Sean’s “suck burritos.” If you promise not to sell or distribute your work for 90 days anywhere other than Amazon, they’ll:

• Let their Amazon Prime members “borrow” your book for free (for which Amazon pays you a paltry amount of money), and
• Let you make your book free for 5 days.

And you may be like, “What? They won’t also allow you to be punched repeatedly in the face? What a rip off!”

But believe it or not, the ability to offer your book for free has benefits that we talk about in this episode.

Here’s the post I (Johnny) wrote on my own blog about my the initial launch of my book The Bialy Pimps.

The short version is that the first time I made my book free, I promoted like hell and had around a thousand downloads. The second time, I did nothing and had eight thousand.

The results afterward were unimpressive in both cases, but did have some effect.

Sean and Dave had a very different experience, but that’s because they have a shit-ton of books, a series or three, and a product funnel. The moral? Free needs to be part of a bigger business strategy.

We also talked about writing process, building your book’s world, writing a series, and other fun things while taking a few questions, including one from a disturbing caller.

(By the way, don’t forget that you can call us with questions! Call the big number at the top of the SelfPublishingPodcast.com homepage!)

In this episode, we tackle the persistent problem of how to structure your story. Sean and Dave are plotters (in more ways than one; Dave may or may not be planning an assassination) and I (Johnny) am much more situational. They have plot points and direct their characters to those plot points, whereas I’m much more apt to develop my characters as much as possible, put them in an odd, funny, or interesting situation, and see how they work their way through it.

Sometime during this discussion, Sean maligns Stephen King. He then tries to backpedal and tell us how much he likes Stephen King, but Dave and I know what the score is. We’ve got your back, Steve. (Fist bump.)

We also talk about what makes a good character, what seems stilted and phony, and why Battlestar Galactica is something everyone should watch if they want to see some truly great characterization and storytelling.

Here’s a few resources we’d recommend you check out:

• On Writing, by Stephen King
• The Hero With a Thousand Faces, by Joseph Campbell
• Save the Cat, by Blake Snyder
• The Writer’s Journey, by Christopher Vogler
• Story Engineering, by Larry Brooks
• and of course, the newer Battlestar Galactica series, because none of us were kidding about the storytelling being amazing

As Sean said in the first episode, your book already has public opinion stacked against it because it “already has the stink of self-publishing on it.” (We’ll ignore his reference in episode 1 to the “suck burrito” for the time being.) That means you’ve got to look as pro as you possibly can if you want anyone to give your book a chance.

In this episode, we talk about the key components to a professional “look” for your book:

The cover

People really do judge a book by its cover. We talk about how to know when you should and shouldn’t try to create your cover yourself and what you should look for if you decide to attempt the very dangerous DIY book cover — such as stock photography, fonts, software, and why Comic Sans is how you announce to the world that you’re a 40-year-old virgin.

Some resources for the DIY cover artist:

• iStockphoto.com
• DaFont.com
• MyFonts.com

The product description

Your book’s description isn’t just there to tell people what your book is about. It’s there to compel people to give you a chance. Nobody will care what your book is about until they believe it’s worth even considering, and that comes down to image and marketing. We talk about how to make your description attractive and compelling, and why you might want to consider putting more into it than just a plot summary.

Reviews, categories, and the rest

… because there’s more to the story, of course.

After we recorded this one, by the way, Dave lamented the fact that there wasn’t enough ball-busting and no mention whatsoever of goths in trees. So we’ll be working on that for future episodes.

In our inaugural episode of the self-publishing podcast, after more attempts to make our setup work than we can count, and after Sean continuing to fight us with whatever is wrong technology-wise at his house, we eventually were able to get down to business and talk about some of the ways to begin your self-publishing journey.

We talked about how we all got our starts — Dave and Sean years back and only in the last year getting started with Amazon Kindle self-publishing, and me writing my book over a decade ago but only recently publishing it.

You’ll hear about two very different business models — two guys (Sean and Dave) who produce 3 books a week between them (!!) vs. a guy (me, Johnny) with a more mortal timeframe, producing one novel and a bunch of smaller essays.

We talk about:

• What you need to do to get your book ready to publish
• How the process of self-publishing on Amazon really works
• Whether or not you’re a good judge of your own book… in many different areas… and what to do about it
• Why your book cover matters, and how to best handle it
• How to totally screw up your chances of having a popular book
• Why it may make sense to have more than one book written before you do any marketing for any of your work, and why I, personally, am not doing it that way regardless of what’s smart vs. not smart
• Dave’s creepy obsession with “goths pissing on trees”
• And a whole lot more

Have a listen!