self serve(d)

A Fancy New Self Serve Website

noreply@blogger.com (Molly) — Mon, 17 Dec 2012 21:31:00 +0000

We're all about self improvement at Self Serve, and we've been working on our look. Our fancy new website is up with more videos, an easier to navigate events page and more sexuality resources and links are coming soon.

Check out the blog posts on the site, too. We'll be a little more active there from now on...

Thanks for being part of our community as always!

Hysteria may make you Hysterical

noreply@blogger.com (Molly) — Thu, 16 Aug 2012 18:32:00 +0000

You may laugh hysterically when you learn the history of the vibrator. Rachel Maines was one of the first writers to bring the fascinating story of our favorite electrical device to the public with her book, The Technology of Orgasm. We learned early electric vibrators were used in medical treatment for women with hysteria. Women, of course, had vague, persistent symptoms of fatigue, depression or exhaustion. These women were often diagnosed with hysteria, and physicians feared their wombs were lost and floating around their bodies.

What new-fangled device could help? The Vibrator of course!

Doctors once had to relieve women of hysteria via "manual assistance," and the vibrator was a labor-saving device indeed! Women would experience paroxysms (er, orgasms) after application of the machines, and voila- hysterical symptoms were relieved.

The Toronto Film Festival premiered the film Hysteria in early September, featuring Maggie Gyllanhaal. This film is a realistic account of the doctor who invented the vibrator in the 1880s.

Maines' book, the film Hysteria and the documentary Passion and Power (a movie Self Serve hosted at the Guild in Albuquerque) all lead us to believe it was common for Victorian women to receive medical treatments for hysteria at the hands of midwives and doctors of the day.

There is debate in the academic world about the accuracy of these accounts of vibrator use.

Of course we can speculate about cultural norms and attitudes during the early days of vibrator use, but the stories are entertaining nonetheless. I love how such history proves how our attitudes about sexuality, sex toys and how orgasms work is all so relative to our time, place or context. Our attitudes about technology have changed drastically, and in most areas of life technology is ubiquitous. But still in 2011, many intelligent adults still feel shame, embarrassment and confusion over their desire to use technology in the bedroom.

Many folks talk to us at Self Serve about how they shouldn't need lubricant or shouldn't need a vibrator. There is so much guilt in our culture over using a motorized little gadget as a labor-saving device for getting off. At the same time, do you mail your letters only via post to prove a point? Are you not reading this here blog on a computer?

I hope as more stories of sex toy history emerge, and the discussion comes to light, that more adults will shed their guilt, pick up modern labor-saving devices, and enjoy their benefits. You won't regret it.

Read more: http://www.canada.com/health/Hysteria+Romancing+vibrator/5419949/story.html#ixzz1Yej60lEf

How to deal with haters

noreply@blogger.com (Hunter Riley) — Thu, 16 Aug 2012 18:28:00 +0000

By Hunter Riley for Self Serve Sexuality Resource Center

It can be hard to know how to deal with hate, and hateful people, but the students at Texas A&M made a great example of how to deflect and possibly prevent hateful people from infiltrating a positive and respectful space.

One recent act of awesomeness and love happened at the funeral for former soldier Lt. Col. Roy Tisdale. Tisdale died in June after an accident at a training camp in North Carolina, according to a report from the Huffington Post. He was a Texas A&M alum and his funereal was planned to be held at Central Baptist Church in College Station, Texas.

The Westboro Baptist Church, which frequently protests military and and LGBT funerals and other events, posted a press release on its website saying it planned to picket Tisdale's funeral. According to the church's website, "These soldiers are dying for the homosexual and other sins of America. God is now America’s enemy, and God Himself is fighting against America."

video by: LocalNews-GrabNetworks

Students at Texas A&M decided to be proactive about giving Tisdale's family the respect his funeral deserved after he served in both Iraq and Afghanistan.

Former Texas A&M student Ryan Slezia invited students and community members via Facebook to join him in making sure the WBC could not disrupt the funeral. His plan was to form a chain of people, wearing school colors, around the church in which the funeral was held.

"In response to their signs of hate, we will wear maroon. In response to their mob anger, we will form a line, arm in arm. This is a silent vigil. A manifestation of our solidarity," he wrote on Facebook.

The funeral, which was held on Thursday, drew a crowd of hundreds. One student reported via Twitter that there were about 650 people in attendance with arms linked surrounding the church's entrance.

The Westboro Baptist Church never showed.

Sometimes it can be difficult to know how to react, if at all, to such intense hate. The students at Texas A&M did the right thing, in my opinion.

Student Lilly McAlister was quoted by TV station KBTX as saying “We are standing here quietly. We are here for the family,” she said. "We are positioned with our backs to them. Everyone has been told there's no chanting, no singing, there's no yelling anything back."

Another inspiring act of love in response to the hateful messages spread by WBC was from nine-year old Josef Miles. According to the Augusta Chronicle, Miles silently protested the WBC while they picketed Washburn University's graduation ceremony in May by making a sign of his own that read "God hates no one."

While part of me doesn't want to give anymore attention to WBC, I think it's important to know what type of response might get them to back off. And it seems the approach of Texas A&M students worked.

For more information see the Huffington Post.

Hunter Riley is a sex educator at Self Serve and also manages SEXed, a sex-education blog on WordPress. You can follow her on Facebook and on Twitter.

Meet the NJoy Fun Wand

noreply@blogger.com (Hunter Riley) — Thu, 16 Aug 2012 18:24:00 +0000

Here's to sexy sex toys!

By Hunter Riley for Self Serve Sexuality Resource Center

The name says it all, because you will truly enjoy these impossibly smooth toys.

njoy Fun Wand

Njoy makes 316 grade (medical grade) stainless steel toys that will be unlike any sex toy material out there. They offer six different toys: the Pure Wand, the Fun Wand, the njoy Eleven, the Pure Plugs (small, medium and large), the Pure Plug 2.0 and the Pfun Plug.

In this post, we'll talk about the the Fun Wand. This toy can offer twice the fun because it gives intense stimulation for a gspot or a pspot, and has three anal beads on the other end.

The beads increase in size, starting with 3/4 inch and ending with a bead that is 1 inch in diameter. The other side has a single 1-inch bulb. The toy measures 8 inches from end to end.

This toy is perfect for anyone interested in temperature play because it can be easily warmed or cooled in a bowl of hot or cold or water (but don't put it in the freezer!). It will naturally be cold to the touch, so make sure you or your partner is ready!

Many people really enjoy the pressure stainless steel toys put on your sensitive body parts, such as a prostate or a gspot. The dense, heavy property of the toy also makes for a great pelvic floor-exercise. If you want to learn more about your pelvic floor muscles, sign up for our Sexercise class! We also have a few other great toys to help you strengthen your pelvic floor.

njoy Pure Plugs

The njoy toys can be used with any lubricant and can be sterilized. You can clean them with rubbing alcohol or just wash them with soap and warm water. Make sure you don't use any abrasive cleaners because they can ruin the toy's finish.

All of the njoy toys look sleek and sexy, and will give your body a new orgasmic experience. If you want to pick up an njoy toy for yourself come into Self Serve, or order one here.

Hunter Riley is a sex educator at Self Serve and also manages SEXed, a sex-education blog on WordPress. You can follow her on Facebook and on Twitter.

20 Communication Tips for Better Sex

noreply@blogger.com (Molly) — Tue, 17 Jul 2012 15:00:00 +0000

Use your words, and use open ended questions. Yes/No questions don't elicit enough detail. Start with, “what would your fantasy date night include?” It might not always be sex!
Show & Tell! Show how you like it and watch your partner pleasure themselves. It’s a very powerful explanation and sexy to watch.
Ask what kind of rhythm do you like? faster or slower?
Tell your partner what works. Focus on that--not what doesn't.
Talk about how sex connects you to your partner.
Admit you don’t know everything -that's normal!
Recognize with partner(s) that desires, wants and abilities change over time.
Put your partners hand where you want it, use firmness, touch, positioning by example. Remember you don’t necessarily want the same thing.
Write each other notes (like old school ‘check yes or no if you want to try’...) and put them in the lunch bag, wallet or briefcase for a surprise later.

Talk over brunch, not in the bedroom - the pressure can be too much when you’re about to do it.
Use position cards or books to share ideas -highlight or underline ideas you like
Make a date night wish list or sexy gift registry at Self Serve & send each other in to shop
Watch porn and actually discuss what you found hot or yucky. Be supportive and open! If you make shocked faces at what your partner likes, they’re likely to retreat and withhold their opinions next time.

Try blindfolds –they elevate anticipation & reduce performance anxiety
Write a love note and tell them what you want to do later with a dry erase pen on the bathroom mirror.
Underline your favorite parts of an erotica book. Read sections out loud to each other later.
Kiss for at least 10 seconds once a day. You'll be surprised how long and luxurious 10 seconds can feel!
Create a code word for romantic time and use it freely in public. For example, "I'd love to meet up with Mr. Jones later tonight... or “I’d love mangos tonight for dessert”
Plan two date nights and take turns planning the details.
Send each other naughty texts when you're at a restaurant, a meeting or family gathering. Just don't get caught!

It's a party for your butt!

noreply@blogger.com (Hunter Riley) — Fri, 06 Jul 2012 17:21:00 +0000

By Hunter Riley for Self Serve Sexuality Resource Center

Self Serve recently stocked its shelves with a toys that's a great introduction to anal play for men and women, and it’s only $30.

We call it the Disco Booty Party, because it’s pretty much a party for your butt, and it has a flashing color-changing light at the end. Some might find it gimmicky, but it also might help you find the desired hole in the dark. The small light also warms the toy up slightly, and that's always a nice bonus.

It comes in a frosted purple, hard-plastic design with a matte coating, is 3/4 of an inch wide and 3 inches long. It has a flared base, because anything you put in your butt should have one, and a single-speed and function vibration. The toy has a slight angle and a bulb at the base, which helps your sphincter hold onto it, and it can gently stimulate a prostate. If the wearer is excited and properly lubed and warmed up, the sphincter muscles will contract which keeps the toy in place and the contractions feel great too because they bring blood to the area.

The vibration can help relax the sphincter and other muscles in the area and will give sensation to the nerve endings in the anus as well as the genital area. It’s easy to operate because it has only one push button for on and off.

Since this toy has a smooth, velvety coating on the surface, this toy should only be shared if it has a condom over it. It can be cleaned with warm water and a gentle soap. The toy is phthalate-free.

Other tips for anal play include using lots of lubrication, relaxation and communication, and don’t forget the frontal stimulation! If you are enjoying anal play with a partner it’s important to check in with them before, during and after, to make sure they are comfortable and not in pain. If anything hurts, you’re not doing it right! We recommend using lots of lube and don’t forget about yours' or your partners’ sensitive bits in the front. Clitoral stimulation can help relax the other muscles near the genitals, which can make anal play more enjoyable, and same thing goes for a penis.

If you want to know more about anal pleasure, be sure to sign up for our Backdoor Lovin' class on July 24th. You can sign up here, or you can call us at 505 265 5815 to reserve your spot.

Hunter Riley is a sex educator at Self Serve and also manages SEXed, a sex-education blog on WordPress. You can follow her on Facebook and on Twitter.

Sexercise Workouts at Coreworks!

noreply@blogger.com (Molly) — Tue, 03 Jul 2012 19:17:00 +0000

This summer you have the opportunity to get in shape and improve your sex life at the same time. The best exercise leads to better sex! August 4th Colleen and Self Serve co-owner Molly Adler will be teaching an intro class that provides the basics.

Sexercise: Kegels, Core, Orgasms and More!

Pilates Instructor Colleen Cummins and Sex Educator Molly Adler lead our workshop on female sexual anatomy and the importance of your core strength. Learn kegel strengthening exercises, understand the pelvic floor anatomy and discover sexual and physical health benefits of a strong pelvic floor!

Warning: This class may intensify orgasms and impress partners. This class involves pilates mat work, so please bring a mat if you have one and wear comfortable clothing.

At Self Serve, Saturday, August 4th at 10 am
$40/person, sign up online or call 505-265-5815

In Depth Mat Classes Take Core Sexercise Work to a New Level

Join us 4 Tuesdays this August at CoreWorks to build on the information and skills learned in Self Serve’s Sexercise class. As a group, we’ll practice and build a home program that helps you make sexercise workouts part of your regular fitness habits. With a close eye and individualized attention, Colleen Cummins will use the foundation of Pilates mat work to expand our experience of specialized techniques for pelvic floor strength that generate strong movement as well as sexual pleasure. Fitness can feel good.

Sexercise Mat Classes at CoreWorks:

When:

Tuesdays in August beginning August 7th

8/7, 8/14, 8/21, 8/24

8 am- 9 am

Where:

At CoreWorks Pilates studio

127 Bryn Mawr SE in Nob Hill

How Much:

$25/class or $80 for all 4 classes

How do I sign up?

Make your reservation by July 20th. You can sign up with Self Serve online or call 505-265-5815 to get on the list. Space is limited so sign up early!

CoreWorks is a women-owned boutique Pilates studio. The space and teaching approach provides for a private, safe, and empowering environment.

For questions specific to the Sexercise Workout class please contact Colleen at colleencummins@me.com or 505.239.7285.

Bio for Colleen Cummins: CoreWorks Studio Owner

As an experienced Pilates instructor and personal trainer with a degree in Exercise Science, Colleen’s expertise is with special problems or rehab clients as well as general fitness and sport conditioning.

Colleen started her career in a hospital-based fitness facility with cardiac, pulmonary, and orthopedic rehab using both traditional land-based and water-based exercise modalities. She initiated her study of yoga in 1992, and shortly thereafter began her study of the work taught by Joseph Pilates. Apprenticing under Michele Larsson and Colleen Glenn, she received her teacher certification in 1997.

Colleen opened her own personal training business in 1992, and with her move to Albuquerque in 2001, her studio became a purely classic Pilates studio. There she incorporates all her experiences while focusing on the Pilates technique in order to assist her students achieve their varied goals. As a teacher, Colleen draws from many disciplines and describes her teaching style as a collaboration or partnership with her clients.

Bisexuality Gets Visible in Health Care

noreply@blogger.com (Hunter Riley) — Sun, 01 Jul 2012 16:42:00 +0000

Series of studies aimed at improving health care for bisexual-identified men and women

by Hunter Riley for Self Serve Sexuality Resource Center

The bisexual flag at San Francisco Pride in 2009. Via Wikimedia

People who identify as bisexual can sometimes face stigmas and misinformation in daily life. In an effort to increase the quality of health care and understanding for individuals who identify as bisexual, researchers from Indiana University did a series of studies to investigate how stereotypes of bisexuals compares with reality, according to a report from the Windy City Media Group.

Vanessa Schick, assistant research scientist at the Center for Sexual Health Promotion at IU in Bloomington and her team surveyed 4,000 women and used the data to examine the diversity of sexual behaviors between women.

"I want, ideally, medical practitioners and clinicians to consider the diversity in their sexual repertoires when asking women whether they've engaged in sexual behavior with other women," she said. "Oftentimes there's this assumption that women don't need to be asked about whether they're engaging in sexual behavior with other women.”

Brian Dodge, a researcher and associate professor in the School of Health, Physical Education and Recreation and associate director of the Center for Sexual Health Promotion, did a qualitative study of 75 behaviorally bisexual men..

"We asked about very specific behaviors with male, female and transgender partners... “ Dodge said. “We really wanted to get a sense of what behaviors they were engaging in."

Many bisexual men felt isolated, Dodge said, and many of the participants had never discussed their bisexual behaviors with anyone before the study.

"There was a lot of stigma, even shame from both gay and straight friends and family members about bisexuality that was above and beyond just typical stigma," he said. "For some of them it really did seem like they were clearly linking that with having mental health issues, like feeling depressed or anxious or not comfortable with their sexuality because they felt like they were sort of the only ones. So in terms of the needs for actually doing this type of research, it was really validated."

Results from Schick and Dodge's series of studies can be found in a special issue of Journal of Bisexuality.

For more info on fun activities bisexuals and others can try, and how you can practice them safely, visit Self Serve for a list of our classes. In June and July we are offering classes on blowjobs, fisting, anal pleasure, sexy tools, tips and toys for trans folks and their partners and advanced strap on sex with Sinclair Sexsmith.

Hunter Riley is a sex educator at Self Serve and also manages SEXed, a sex-education blog on WordPress. You can follow her on Facebook and on Twitter.

Mini Self Serve Workshops at Pridefest

noreply@blogger.com (Molly) — Fri, 29 Jun 2012 16:31:00 +0000

This year at ABQ PrideFest on Saturday, June 30th, there is a hot new entertainment area- bringing the SEX back to sexual identity at Pride!

Our sexuality is an important part of being human. Having consensual, safe and fulfilling sex throughout our adulthood is both satisfying and adds to our growth experience. Unleash is one of the many new features of PrideFest that will offer a private place for adults to receive education and experiment with new ideas about sex. And it's inside, so you can take a break from the hot sun!

Molly and Matie of Self Serve are offering free mini sex ed workshops at Unleash. Our schedule:

3:45 pm Our Favorite LGBT-friendly Sex Toys: Meet your new best friend! Join Self Serve co-owner Matie Fricker for a quick run down of the TOP TEN LGBT Sex Toys.

4:15 pm Hot Safer Sex: We know we should have safer sex, but often we don't know how to make safe sex sexy. Join Self Serve co-owner Matie Fricker in a quickie that will give you the tools to use safe sex supplies to have the best sex EVER.

5:00 pm Strap Ons: Get Self Serve's Top 10 Tips for having better strap on sex. Learn about the newest gear, Reach the best hot spots, Find your rhythm and own it!

5:30 pm Trans Sex Tips: Self Serve co-owner & Sex Educator Molly Adler will provide sex tips for trans folks and their partners. Gain resources, Find sex positive language, Explore toys & Get creative in the skin you're in!

Unleash will be open from 11am-6pm with shopping, photos, and hanging out—cool down after the Parade! Take a “Break the Shame Chain” photo (photos will be available with Alibi and Fox Fotography).

Many have come together to present…

New Mexico Leather League: Demonstrations of Single Tail, Temporary Piercing, Florentine Flogging, and Decorative Rope Work. Also, a “What Is Leather” Discussion.
New Mexico: The Next Generation: ”Negotiation 101″ class, and demonstrations on Mummification and Rhythmic Spanking.
New Mexico FetLifers: ”How to Play Kinky with a Cupcake”. Learn how to spice it up, talk to your partner, and some basics of fetish fun with our amazing Cupcake!. Also, poetry by Rich Boucher, rope demonstration by Troll, and violet wand demonstration with CountBlackRose.
NovelTease New Mexico: The lost stage art of Burlesque.
Self Serve Sexuality Resource Center: Sex education for grown-ups.

Lots more at Unleash all day! Check out burlesque, kink, lectures and more. There are 2 stages and lots to see. Here is the full schedule:

12:30 pm NM Leather League Demonstrations & Discussion

1:00 pm NovelTease Burlesque

1:30 pm The Next Generation Demos & Education

2:30 pm How to Play Kinky with a Cupcake

3:00 pm NovelTease Burlesque

3:30 pm Leather: Who Needs it? with Special Guest Patrick Mulcahey -link

3:45 pm Self Serve Sex Ed: LGBT friendly Sex Toys

4:15 pm Self Serve Sex Ed: Hot Safer Sex

4:30 pm Poetry by Rich Boucher

4:50 pm Rope Demonstration by Troll

5:00 pm Self Serve Sex Ed: Strap Ons

5:10 pm Violet Wand Demonstration

5:30 pm Self Serve Sex Ed: Trans Sex Tips

Pridefest admission starts at $15. Purchase tickets online through June 29th

Self Serve on Coyote 102.5

noreply@blogger.com (Molly) — Mon, 18 Jun 2012 22:29:00 +0000

Join Molly & Matie on 102.5! We will be offering sex advice with Erica Viking and Big Benny on Coyote 102.5 every Tuesday morning at 9 am.

We'll answer sex questions, introduce new sex toys, and share resources for learning more. Use the Self Serve, Big Benny or Erica Viking Facebook pages to suggest topics and ask questions! You can listen from anywhere... click to listen streaming online.

We'll see if Big Benny is wearing a shirt come tomorrow morning...

Sex After 50 in the ABQ Journal

noreply@blogger.com (Molly) — Tue, 05 Jun 2012 05:37:00 +0000

We were pleased to see another article highlighting sex for people over 50 in this week's Albuquerque Journal. Our culture is not too sex positive when it comes to aging, but that's one more reason Self Serve exists. Here's to a life of much pleasure, at any age!

TURN DOWN THE LIGHTS

It’s just a myth that people in their 50s and 60s aren’t interested in sex

BY RICK NATHANSON

from the Albuquerque Journal, June 3, 2012

Ask young people if they think their parents and grandparents still enjoy sex, and it may evoke a roll of the eyes and an exclamation of “gross!”

That “ick” factor is partly the result of living in a youth-obsessed culture, and partly the result of the myth that people reaching their 50s and 60s are neither sexy nor interested in sex, says Molly Adler, a sexuality educator and co-owner of Self Serve Sexuality Resource Center in Albuquerque.

The Nob Hill store (selfservetoys.com ) sells sex toys, books, body products, videos and other adult fare in a fun, informative and guilt-free setting.

It’s a fact that bodies do change as they get older, and some of these changes are physiological and have a direct impact on a person’s desire or ability to perform sexually as they did when younger, says Dr. Aaron Geswaldo, a urologist with Albuquerque Urology Associates.

There is a correlation between good health and good sex. Simply put, says Geswaldo, eat healthy; maintain an ideal weight range; exercise to improve strength and cardiovascular circulation; get high blood pressure, diabetes and other conditions controlled by medication if necessary; and stop smoking (besides the other health dangers associated with smoking, nicotine can constrict blood vessels and ultimately be a factor in erectile dysfunction, he says).

There can also be a host of relationship problems that put the kibosh on sex for the 50-and-older crowd, says Kelly Chicas, a board-certified clinical sex therapist and counselor with Albuquerque Family Counseling ( albuquerquefamilycounseling.com ).

Life transitions, such as retirement, often bring with it a loss of personal identity or the realization that the intervening years have made a couple strangers to one another, says Chicas, who specializes in couples and sexuality issues.

“The kids have been raised and gone off, and now it’s just the two of them in the house, and if they have lost touch with each other over the years, they are unprepared for how empty the nest feels. They may look at their partner and think, who are you?”

Despite the myths, she says, the over-50 crowd is also more open to experimentation and the use of sex toys, or “passion products,” as she prefers to call them.

*Put it into practice Here are some observations and strategies for keeping the romance alive by getting aging bodies to cooperate with willing minds.

Older couples may need to “redefine” what sex is to accommodate their changing bodies, says Adler. “They may de-emphasize vaginal intercourse, and try other pleasurable experiences involving the use of sex toys, erotic touch and massage.”

*Aging baby boomers may experience divorce or the death of a spouse. Many of them are “getting back in the saddle again,” says Adler, and as a result, this demographic is experiencing more sexually transmitted diseases. Check out Self Serve for a course in safe sex, condom usage and making safe choices.

*Sexual dysfunction is often a result of high blood pressure, diabetes and conditions that cause narrowing of arteries and vessels. Some medications to treat these conditions “may decrease blood flow to the penis itself or can cause side effects like loss of libido,” says Geswaldo. Consult your doctor.

*Medications, such as antidepressants, as well as hormone changes that accompany menopause, can stifle a woman’s libido, affect blood flow and reduce vaginal secretions, says Chicas. Medications and lubricants can alleviate some of these problems.

*Look at the “empty nest” as an opportunity to get to know your spouse again, Chicas says. The empty nest is also an opportunity to have sex anywhere, anytime.

*As men age their testosterone levels decline, resulting in a type of male menopause marked by decreased libido and lack of energy and motivation. Testosterone replacement therapy may be a good option.

*An enlarged prostate does not in itself affect sexual function, Geswaldo says, but the frequent urge to urinate caused by the condition can ruin the moment. Check with your doctor about medications to control the symptoms.

*Viagra and similar medications are highly effective in the treatment of ED, but can have side effects such as light-headedness, runny nose, blurry vision and headaches.

*Alternatives to Viagra-type medications may include the use of prescription dilator compounds selfinjected into the penis prior to sex, or by using an external vacuum pump to pull blood into the penis.

*“There is no normal” when it comes to sex, Chicas says. “Normal is what’s normal for you and your partner. As long as you’re both happy with it, then that’s the norm.”

Interactive BJ Learning!

noreply@blogger.com (Molly) — Sun, 03 Jun 2012 06:51:00 +0000

And by interactive we mean dildos.

Stevie will be teaching another amazing BJ class on June 20th at the shop. Sign up now... last month's class sold out!

Details: Bulk up your blow job resume with this hands-on (a dildo, not a
person) workshop that teaches you about male sexual response and
reproductive anatomy before allowing participants to get some
“mouth-on” practice of new techniques, tips, tricks, and positions.
This class is for anyone who has a dick in their life and is
interested in showing it a little more oral loving! $20/person or $35/pair

We’ll provide sterilized dildos for your use during the class, and if
you have any questions, don’t hesitate to contact the instructor,
Stevie Morrison, at ToyPartyStevie@gmail.com

50 Shades of Grey Leads to Sexercise Explosion!

noreply@blogger.com (Molly) — Fri, 25 May 2012 19:45:00 +0000

A funny side effect since 50 Shades of Grey's immense popularity? A boom in pc exercise toy sales. Many women are walking into Self Serve and asking about Ben Wa balls or kegel toys. Apparently, Fun Factory is seeing such an effect that TMZ is reporting on it.

TMZ published a wonderfully-titled piece, 'Fifty Shades of Grey' Linked to Vagina Ball Explosion. I pretty much love this article header. Luckily there hasn't been an actual vagina ball explosion in the pyrotechnical sense, to my knowledge. But it's true that many a lady is reading about these 'vagina balls' and discovering the joys and challenges of toning pc muscles and wearing a sneaky kegel toy inside her vagina.

The thing is, we often steer ladies away from the classic Ben Wa balls they've read about, unless they're sexual athletes already. The original Ben Wa balls are actually quite small, heavy and slippery. For most sexually active adult women, especially moms, Ben Wa balls are very challenging to hold in. They are like the advanced model. It's one thing to wear these kegel toys secretly, but it's a whole other experience when you sneeze in public and 'lose your marbles.' We wouldn't want that, now would we?

If you're looking to try wearing a toy inside vaginally to tone pc muscles, then start with the newer models, like Smartballs from Fun Factory or the Ami set from JeJoue. These are much better designs for women that aren't as in touch with their kegels.

While this 'vagina ball explosion' may be inspired by a sexy suggestion in 50 Shades of Grey, it's a great activity to try for your health! Doing pc exercises and toning your pelvic floor has all sorts of benefits for both your sex life and your general health.

Here are a few benefits from having toned pc muscles in your pelvic floor:

stronger orgasms
easier ability to orgasm
minimizing incontinence
squeezing your partner during sex
better posture and stability

You don't technically need any toys to do your kegels. If you want to try to sexercise at home, here's a basic way to begin from dodsonandross.com:

The pubococcygeus muscles are the muscles that support your pelvic anatomy and surround your urethra, vagina and anus. Strengthening them can both increase the intensity of your orgasms and your ability to have more than one.

To identify your PC muscle simple stop your urine flow the next time you go to the bathroom. The muscles that you squeeze to do this are the PC muscles. Essentially, squeezing these muscles several times a day is one way to perform Kegels.

Squeeze the PC muscles for 10 seconds - pulling up with the vagina and then releasing completely for 10 seconds. It is as important to fully relax the muscles as it is to squeeze them tightly.

That's it! The exercises are best while holding proper posture, and building up in reps as you get stronger. Popular ways to incorporate kegels into your routine include: kegel during red lights, kegel while you brush your teeth, kegel while waiting in line, kegel in the shower or during any daily activity. The beautiful thing is that you can kegel anywhere!

StrapOn Sex 101 How-To Videos

noreply@blogger.com (Molly) — Fri, 11 May 2012 04:57:00 +0000

I am a fan and promoter of Strap On Sex. I wish for all to try it and I support the strap on revolution. It's not just for the lesbians anymore!

Enjoy our series on strap on sex and learn how to be the best strapper in all the land. Keep in mind many of these sex tips can be applied to doing it with attached penises, too! A studious and learned lover is a good lover. (or at least chances are better)

These sex how-to videos will introduce you to strap on sex myths and facts, strap on preparation, choosing strap on sex toys, thinking about size (it does matter) and taking care with the ins and the outs of doing it, doing it and doing it well.

Transgender 101

noreply@blogger.com (Molly) — Fri, 20 Apr 2012 19:25:00 +0000

Author and counselor Nicholas M. Teich just published an insightful and accessible Transgender 101 post on Huffington Post. This 15 point intro touches upon some of the most important points in beginning to learn about transgender issues and approach trans people with respect and empathy. He wrote a basic book that introduces Transgender 101, as well. If you're trans or an ally looking for clear, straightforward language in which to explain complex transgender questions, here is a way to find the words.

We are lucky in Albuquerque that our local Transgender Resource Center of NM just opened its office around the corner from Self Serve. The TGRCNM website has already been a crucial resource for transgender people of NM, and now their office space offers additional resources like HIV testing, a library, job seeking resources, clothing exchange and more. Check out the TGRCNM website for resources like support groups, therapists, trans-friendly health providers and more.

Best Sellers Sale!

noreply@blogger.com (Molly) — Thu, 12 Apr 2012 18:05:00 +0000

Get 20% off our Top 10 Sex Toys!

For 10 days, we're offering a sale on our most popular sex toys for men and women. If you need an excuse to add to your collection, now is the time. Save 20% in our store or online.

Best Sellers

1. Form 2 by JimmyJane

2. The We Vibe 3

3. Sidekick #2 Sleeve

4. Calla Vibe

5. Double Happiness

6. 3 Speed Power Bullet

7. The Big O Ring Vibe

8. Tenga Egg Sleeves

9. Hitachi Magic Wand

10. Mini Goddess Bullet

Self Serve is Hiring!

noreply@blogger.com (Molly) — Mon, 02 Apr 2012 19:49:00 +0000

It only happens once a year or so...

Self Serve is hiring a part time/on-call Sales Associate/Sex Educator.

*Read our job description and how to apply below. If you don't follow application guidelines, you won't get called for an interview.*

Join our small, hardworking team of sex educators! You have the opportunity to help people feel better every day, and create a sex positive space unlike anything else in New Mexico.

Must be 18+, open minded, excited about sexuality education and enjoy retail customer service. This position is primarily for 4-8 hours per week and on-call/vacation coverage to be discussed. This position is for shifts Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays and weekday evening events. Weekday availability a plus. This is a position that is best suited for someone with a flexible schedule.

Starting at $8/hr with room for growth, generous discount, on-the-job training and other benefits.

Summary of Responsibilities:
*offer one-on-one customer service
*retail sales
*inventory: shipping and receiving
*email communications & phone customer service
*upkeep of dvd rentals, special orders, class & event sign ups
*staff evening classes and events
*occasionally staff trade shows and weekend events
*Merchandising: maintain and improve store displays
*Daily cleaning
*Follow store procedures
*Detail oriented administrative tasks
*Build relationships within community
*Support website maintenance and orders
*Help create more joy and sexual pleasure in the world!

Required Skills:
*Positive Attitude
*Retail or Sales Experience
*Friendly Customer Service
*Healthy, open and honest communication
*Dedication and Strong Work Ethic
*Comfort and confidence talking about sexuality
*Enthusiasm for a wide variety of tasks
*Open-mindedness and comfort discussing sexuality with people of all ages, sexual orientations, genders, kink, etc.

Professional Experience that’s a plus:
*Sexuality education
*Administrative experience
*Purchasing inventory
*Public speaking
*Graphic design
*Public Relations
*Website Design or maintenance
*Volunteer coordination

TO APPLY: Send your resume, day/time/seasonal availability AND cover letter to info@selfservetoys.com. Please put "Part-time Job Application" in the subject line. Applications will be accepted through May 17th. Interviews will be scheduled in late May.
Please, no phone calls, email any questions. If you do not follow these guidelines, you will not be considered for the job.

About Self Serve: Self Serve is a fun and welcoming retail store and sex education center. Through our store, website and toy party service, we provide the opportunity for people to learn about sexuality and their bodies while shopping for high-quality sex toys and other pleasurable sundries. Self Serve supports women, LGBT people and anyone seeking healthy, positive sexual attitudes and perspectives, and sensual pleasure in everyday life.

Meet the Progressive Pleasure Club!

noreply@blogger.com (Molly) — Tue, 27 Mar 2012 21:34:00 +0000

A New Generation of Education-Based Sex Shops Is Changing the Adult Industry

The growing community of independent sex-positive shops has a new home thanks to the launch of the Progressive Pleasure Club (PPC). Matie Fricker and I, co-owners of Self Serve Toys in Albuquerque, New Mexico, started the PPC to share support and resources with other shops like ours, which help people make informed decisions about sexuality-related products.

We wanted to get people talking about the unique work we do and the challenges and joys we encounter at Self Serve, and so the Progressive Pleasure Club was born. We believe everyone has a right to enjoy sexual pleasure in a smart and healthy way, and we the PPC will educate customers about local, independent stores where they can feel safe shopping, and can trust the safety of the adult products they buy.

Today a new class of social entrepreneurs are taking the lead in opening sex-positive, independent shops all over the continent. Self Serve is one of a dozen or so like-minded shops in cities from Portland, Maine, to Portland, Oregon, where trained sex educators offer a locally-owned, education-based, ethical place to shop for intimate goods. The Progressive Pleasure Club is a network of independent sex shops dedicated to helping people make informed decisions about sexuality products. Member shops are committed to the promotion of accurate and honest pleasure-based sexuality education, and to offering products that meet the highest standards of safety. “We are thrilled that the PPC came into being,” explains Gina Rourke, owner of Nomia in Portland, Maine. “Since 2004, Oh My in Northampton, MA and Nomia have been collaborating and sharing information, as well as our purchasing power. To have the opportunity to join with a cadre of similarly committed entrepreneurs with shared values is nothing short of revolutionary. We are excited to see how this collective will transform lives in our communities as well as the industry at large.”

In the next year PPC members will join forces to educate the public about adult toy safety, promote local support for small business, and lobby adult toy manufacturers to eliminate the use of phthalates and toxins in manufacturing. “We have created a unique space for sharing marginalized voices, both ours and those of our customers. The PPC is bent on radicalizing the adult industry for the better of all,” shares Lea Caughlan, owner the Rubber Rose in San Diego.

As small business owners, we recognize that there’s power in numbers. And not unlike the healthy polyamorous folks we often serve, PPC members seek to approach business from an ethical place of abundance and positivity. After all, we share the goal of promoting sexual health and pleasure for all, and believe there is room for all to succeed as we strive to reach it. Searah Deysach, owner of Chicago’s Early to Bed explains, "I am thrilled to be a part of an organization that is made up of small, local businesses that are committed to the same sex-positive, feminist values as I am. I love that we work together to help all of our shops thrive."

We look forward to meeting you in our hometowns all over North America, and helping you improve your relationships and lovin' in a healthy and happy way.

written by: Molly Adler, co-founder of PPC

Objects of Affection: People in Love with Objects

noreply@blogger.com (Self Serve) — Sun, 25 Mar 2012 21:33:00 +0000

Most people get sentimental about a object of special significance. 'Objectiphiles' fall in love with those objects. They form relationships, and have erotic connections with their object of affection.

"Erika Eiffel founded the Objectum Sexuality Internationale group which has more than 40 members and a website."http://www.objectum-sexuality.org/

Do it more & Do it better

noreply@blogger.com (Molly) — Sun, 18 Mar 2012 17:39:00 +0000

So many couples and individuals approach us at Self Serve with a common question: How can my partner and I have more sex, and better sex, more often?

In the fast-paced, stressed-out culture we live in, it's common for couples to find they love each other and want more intimacy, but the sex just doesn't happen. I'm teaching a class this Tuesday night all about this topic. When the willingness and commitment is there, couples can definitely find ways to improve their sexual satisfaction.

So much of the conversation has to do with expectations, priorities and creativity. I look forward to helping couples figure out what they're looking to improve, whether it be the depth of their connection, how often they get it on or simply reconnecting when they feel distant. It's important to remember that all of us are unique and there's no one "normal" frequency of how often one should have sex. There's no "normal" of how we should be having sex. As individuals, we have to acknowledge that our needs and desires are usually different than those of our partners. The key is communicating and figuring out how to meet in the middle.

You can sign up for classes online, or call 505-265-5815.

If you cannot attend the upcoming Self Serve class, consider a consultation with Self Serve Co-Owners & Sexuality Educators Molly or Matie.

Vote Self Serve ABQ's Best Sexy Shop

noreply@blogger.com (Molly) — Thu, 15 Mar 2012 18:16:00 +0000

If you love us, then Vote!

It's that time of year. If you have a favorite business -whether it's Self Serve or your favorite local DJ- tell the rest of the city in the Alibi! We've been honored to win Best of Burque's Best Sexy Shop for 4 years in a row. Help us make it 5!

Recognition from the Alibi readers and the people of Albuquerque truly makes us smile and really helps our business. If you love any local businesses, take the time to vote. Thank you!

What Makes a BJ Great?

noreply@blogger.com (Molly) — Fri, 09 Mar 2012 23:08:00 +0000

We are improving our classes, and adding to the most popular topic we offer... Blow Jobs 101!

Please tell us what you want to learn. Fill out our brief survey and tell us what you think about blow jobs. (the survey link: http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/85RKJRF )

We are creating a new fellatio class and we would like to have some "hard" data to use (pun intended). We want to make sure that this new class showcases all the flavors of blow jobs, so we need feedback from anyone who sucks, has, wears, or just loves dick!

Thanks for your long, hard work on this.

The Way I See It | Dirty Thoughts by Billy

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 08 Mar 2012 23:16:00 +0000

New on the Scene, Whatever that Means

    Hello to all you lovely people out there in the internet! My name is Billy, and I just wanted to take a few sentences to introduce myself. Although I’ve been a fan of Self Serve Toys for some time, I am a newbie here on their blog.
    My stats would look like this: 31/m/NM, but as we all know that hardly means you know a person. Stats are a start, at least. But, as I begin to post to the Self Serve(d) blog, we will all get to know each other, little by little.
    I am eager and excited to be working with the fine folk at Self Serve! They do lots of rad work, and are a great source of knowledge and education. They are a vital part of the Albuquerque community, and thanks to the internet they are also able to help people all over the world. I’m honored to be working with them, especially with something so easy as pitching in my two cents once in awhile. So, it is with great pride that I bring you the first installment of:

The Way I See It

by Billy McCall

I’m not entirely sure when I began to first recognize myself as a sexual being. I think my religious upbringing encouraged the denial of such an obvious fact. This idea that we are all sexual beings. But we are, it’s part of what makes us human.
As I’ve gotten older I have learned to not only embrace my own sexuality, but to accept that everyone else has their own. And that sex is all around. And that it’s fun to think about. Let me give you an example.

Prepare yourself for an oral invasion!

    I’ve been going to the dentist on a regular basis ever since I was a kid. I hated it. It seemed like torture, and this was how my mind got through it. As a child I would pretend I was a spy, trapped behind enemy lines, and no matter how they tortured me, I’d never talk! And when I made it through my 30-minute check-up, I walked out proud.
    But then I grew up, moved out, had sex… And my next trip to the dentist was suddenly very different. All my concepts of pain and torture and endurance had changed, due in large part to my experimentation with these ideas in the bedroom. All of a sudden the dentist’s office felt a bit like a role-playing scenario, and the tools all looked like toys. I no longer felt like doctor and patient, but more like master and slave. With each command, I slipped further into submission, feeling empowered through my own obedience.
    “Open your mouth.”
    Yes sir.
    “You might feel a sting.”
    Yes sir.
    “You’re doing very well. Just hold still, it will be over soon.”
    Yes sir.
    And although I don’t have a fetish for dentists, I wonder if I could. Many people do. A quick search online brings up scores of people discussing their new braces, or seeking out play partners to act out dental fantasies. A visit to the dentist takes you directly into a power-play scenario, where one person is in charge, and everyone else in the room follows along. So I don't think it would take much for me to develop a deep desire to have these acts preformed me. To become excited by the idea of laying there, enduring discomfort, and doing whatever it is I am told to do. I am already paying considerable amounts of money, is it really so different from a fetish-specific dungeon?
    Of course, I also wonder about the sex lives of the dentists themselves. After all, they are sexual beings as well. In their lives outside of work, do they play out dental fantasies? Some of them must, I’m sure.
    This is how I now survive my trips to the dentist. My mind drifts through all these topics, and before I know it, my time is up. I thank them for the agony they’ve just put me through, then I pay them for their services. I make an appointment to see them again, and I walk out into the world with a smile on my face.

    If anyone out there would like to contact me, you can get me at iknowbilly@gmail.com. Take care, and keep it real!

Local IQ - Sex in the Open

noreply@blogger.com (Molly) — Fri, 24 Feb 2012 17:29:00 +0000

photo by Wes Naman, Local IQ

Writer Hannah Reiter of the Local IQ newspaper interviewed us a couple weeks ago. It's wonderful to share our story with Albuquerque, and the world. We often learn it's hard to explain "what Self Serve is" when people haven't been into the store. If you're new to our community - read on...

Local IQ - Sex in the open
Unique Albuquerque business works to demystify sexuality and build an inclusive atmosphere that serves the community

By Hannah Reiter
Self Serve is not your traditional adult toy shop. Owners Molly Adler and Matie Fricker have gone to great lengths to ensure local sexual education and pleasure seekers an experience completely different from that which other Albuquerque retailers offer. With an award-winning business model, years of experience and unmatched passion, Adler and Fricker have made a living transforming sexual education and pleasure in Albuquerque over the past five years.

\In a recent interview, and with Valentine’s day right around the corner, Adler and Fricker let Local iQ in on a few of their not-so-dirty little secrets for building a successful business focused on love and sex.

“We loved the idea of creating a space that any adult can walk in and feel safe and comfortable and find resources,” Adler said of her business philosophy. “Across the board, we try to lead with the message that sex is healthy and pleasure is good for you. And having some education around how and with whom you have sex is the best way to ensure that,” Fricker added.

The owners of Self Serve have succeeded in crafting that space. The store’s atmosphere is warm, inviting and very hands-on, and Fricker and Adler are personable, welcoming and exceptionally knowledgeable.

Hailing from Boston with backgrounds in public health and social justice, respectively, Adler and Fricker decided six years ago over a bottle of wine that they wanted to tackle the peaks and pitfalls of owning their own business. At the time, Adler was managing an adult boutique, while Fricker was debating a future in law. “I could go into debt for law school or I could go into debt to start a sex shop,” said Fricker.

Ultimately they decided that owning their own business would allow them the freedom and forum to pursue their passions and make a difference in a community that was lacking a “sex-positive” message. After a year of struggling to secure funding, the two were finally able to make the move to Albuquerque and open shop in 2007.

So why did these two Boston natives choose Albuquerque, of all places, to open an adult boutique? Lots and lots of research. “While there is a lot of conservative history and religious culture,” Fricker noted of Albuquerque, “there is also a very open-minded population and a high density of same-sex households. We found a very clear ‘live-and-let-live’ attitude.”

It’s that tolerant attitude from the community and a unique approach to business that has allowed Self Serve to stay afloat, even in this tough economy. As well as selling adult toys and accessories, Adler and Fricker offer a full-on adult resource center, the core of which is education. Self Serve holds at least two classes a week on everything from how to talk to your kids about sex, to the art of burlesque dancing, to massage techniques for couples and sex for aging people (for a full list of classes offered, visit selfservetoys.com).

Community outreach is also a fundamental piece of the Self Serve business model. “There are two main ways we partner with the community. One is within our neighborhood. We’re active with the Nob Hill business association and Nob Hill Main Street. The other way is through donations to and support of sexual health and wellness in the community,” Adler said, noting that her business does events and fundraisers for such organizations as New Mexico Aids Services, The Rape Crisis Center, Planned Parenthood and the state Department of Health.

Fricker also talks to youth at the New Day Shelter once a month about sexuality and empowerment. While the program is controversial, Fricker explained, “It immediately lowers their risk factors. If you just say to teenagers, ‘Sex shouldn’t hurt,’ it changes everything.”

While Fricker and Adler teach many of the classes at Self Serve themselves, they also import local and national instructors to ensure that their seminars are well-rounded, in-depth and fun. For Valentine’s Day they will host a free chocolate and body treat tasting event. “It can be part of your Valentine’s Day activity,” Adler said. “The store will be open till 9, so grab an early dinner or cocktail, then come in after.”

While some may be intimidated by the idea of walking into the shop for a class or consultation, or to buy adult toys, rest assured that Adler and Fricker have designed an experience meant to comfort the nerves of anyone, whether novice or expert.

“We are very serious about being inclusive and having a space that has resources, products and answers for men and women, straight and gay, transgender, young and old, single and married and divorced. All of the above,” Adler said.

Last Minute Valentine's Ideas!

noreply@blogger.com (Molly) — Sun, 12 Feb 2012 16:33:00 +0000

Last Minute Valentine's Gifts

Act like you planned it all along!

Make a dinner date for the weekend after Valentine's Day (It falls on a weeknight after all)
Get him a Tenga Flip Hole
Cook a surprise dinner, or get your favorite take out and save time for lovin'
Make custom date coupons
Invest in a We Vibe 3 -this couple's sex toy is fun for everyone!
Hire a babysitter when your partner’s not expecting it
Make a mix of your songs
Get her a new vibrator
Give a massage with a romantic massage oil candle
Make a sexy crossword puzzle
Oral sex is always a great last minute gift idea
Make out for more than 2 minutes... seriously
Commit to doing any of these ideas not on Valentine’s Day in a few days, a week or a month from now. It will be even more beautiful when it's spontaneous…

Albuquerque Events and
Valentine's Date Ideas

FEBRUARY 13

Still no Valentine's gift? Head to Papers and get supplies to craft your own personal Valentine. Some of the best gifts are hand made! And they have hella yummy caramels, too.

FEBRUARY 14

GetEqual NM Valentine's Day Rally for Equal Rights
Fight for same-sex marriage equality in New Mexico!
Marriage Applications @ 10:30am in ABQ

Albuquerque Rally is @ 11:30am, Civic Plaza
Santa Fe Rally is @ 2:00pm, the Roundhouse

Free Anonymous HIV Testing at Self Serve!

First Nations Community Health Source is providing FREE on-site mobile HIV testing at our shop. Get tested and know your status. They also have a massage therapy special available right now - details online!

Self Serve Chocolate and Body Treat Tasting
We'll provide free chocolate samples, a chocolate fountain and body treats to sample during your Valentine's Day shopping. This Valentine's Day, explore sensual ideas, learn new bedroom techniques or pick up a new game or toy. Free, 5-9 pm, 3904b Central Ave SE in Upper Nob Hill

Lip Service: a Dirty Zine Reading w/Annah Anti Palindrome & On a Clear Day

ABQ Zine Fest presents another dirty, DIRTY zine reading!

Don't let Valentine's Day get you down! Spend it with us and a sh*t-load of dirty words turned into filthy stories! Bring your lover(s) too . . . $5-$15 sliding scale, 7-9:30 pm at Winning Coffee, 111 Harvard SE

Larry's Hats in Nob Hill
Offering wine, a vintage jewelry sale and a free yacht cap with every purchase!

FEBRUARY 16

Celebrate National Condom Week at First Nations Community Healthsource! HIV 101 info session, with some light snacks and drinks 12-2 pm. Free HIV testing available before and after the event. Let someone know you want to take the relationship to the next level - get tested!

FEBRUARY 17

Massage Techniques for Couples
This class at Self Serve is an introduction to massage techniques you can use at home to impress (and relax) the one(s) you love. Bring a partner for this hands-on, clothed class. 8:30 pm, $28 /pair

FEBRUARY 18

Yoga and Tantra: An Experiential Journey into Self Love

Join Avery Kalapa and Dr. Rasa Lila for a delicious afternoon workshop, geared for anyone interested in deepening their felt experience of love and appreciation. We will explore yoga asana, Tantra techniques, and sacred sound to create a safe, yet profound transformational sensual journey. 1 pm - 5:30 pm / | High Desert Yoga, 4600 Copper Avenue NE

self serve(d)

A Fancy New Self Serve Website

Hysteria may make you Hysterical

How to deal with haters

By Hunter Riley for Self Serve Sexuality Resource Center

Meet the NJoy Fun Wand

Here's to sexy sex toys!

The name says it all, because you will truly enjoy these impossibly smooth toys.

20 Communication Tips for Better Sex

It's a party for your butt!

Sexercise Workouts at Coreworks!

Sexercise: Kegels, Core, Orgasms and More!

In Depth Mat Classes Take Core Sexercise Work to a New Level

Sexercise Mat Classes at CoreWorks:

When:

Tuesdays in August beginning August 7th

8/7, 8/14, 8/21, 8/24

8 am- 9 am

Where:

At CoreWorks Pilates studio

How Much:

$25/class or $80 for all 4 classes

How do I sign up?

Make your reservation by July 20th. You can sign up with Self Serve online or call 505-265-5815 to get on the list. Space is limited so sign up early!

Bio for Colleen Cummins: CoreWorks Studio Owner

Bisexuality Gets Visible in Health Care

Series of studies aimed at improving health care for bisexual-identified men and women

Mini Self Serve Workshops at Pridefest

Self Serve on Coyote 102.5

Sex After 50 in the ABQ Journal

TURN DOWN THE LIGHTS

It’s just a myth that people in their 50s and 60s aren’t interested in sex

Interactive BJ Learning!

50 Shades of Grey Leads to Sexercise Explosion!

StrapOn Sex 101 How-To Videos

Transgender 101

Best Sellers Sale!

Get 20% off our Top 10 Sex Toys!

Best Sellers

Self Serve is Hiring!

It only happens once a year or so...

Self Serve is hiring a part time/on-call Sales Associate/Sex Educator.

Meet the Progressive Pleasure Club!

Objects of Affection: People in Love with Objects

Do it more & Do it better

Vote Self Serve ABQ's Best Sexy Shop

What Makes a BJ Great?

The Way I See It | Dirty Thoughts by Billy

Local IQ - Sex in the Open

Last Minute Valentine's Ideas!