Sell Crazy Someplace Else

noreply@blogger.com (Jendeis) — Thu, 13 Sep 2012 17:05:00 +0000

Note: I wrote this a couple days ago, but forgot to hit "publish". So here's what I was thinking about a couple days ago...

I'm still going back and forth between feeling okay-not-great-but-okay and sick, sick, sick. For the most part, the Zofran is at least allowing me to eat, even if it's not getting me to feeling fine. Thank G-D for Uncle Ben's 90-second rice pouches. Love 'em!

I'm now throwing up about every other day. Quick gross tip: don't use a toilet for your vomiting needs. Use a trash bag. I've been able to avoid (knock on wood) blowing any blood vessels in my eyes this time around, and I credit it to avoiding the porcelain.

And now for something completely different...LM has officially started swim lessons at the local JCC. This isn't so much as a swim lesson as a Let's All Get Used to Being in the Water By Singing Songs lesson, but I'll use "swim lesson" for short. JD went in the water with LM (each child goes in with a parent), and I sat on the sideline with some very pregnant mamas. I'm so glad JD was there because there is no way I would have been able to stomach all the bouncing in the water.

LM went in the pool a number of times this summer, so we both thought he'd do pretty well. LM did fine, but got upset a couple times when he saw me and wanted to be with me. I think that I will skip the lessons from now on, so that LM just stays with Daddy. Out of sight, out of mind.

The Nanny Adventure

noreply@blogger.com (Jendeis) — Fri, 07 Sep 2012 17:08:00 +0000

So, I'm still dealing with lots of nausea, but for the most part, the oral Zofran is allowing me to eat. Since I was already on the pump by this time when I was pregnant with LM, it looks like -- NOT TEMPTING FATE HERE -- we may not enter hyperemesis-land this time around.

Still nausea stinks and I feel guilty that JD has to carry the huge burden of dealing with LM, The Boy, and running our household virtually by himself. I'm trying to do as much as I can, but that, admittedly, is not all that much. JD has really been wonderful and hasn't complained a bit.

Since we're all for embarking upon huge adventures simultaneously 'round these parts (see: week of our wedding, when we: bought a house, sold a house, moved, car broke down, SIL broke her foot and got married), we have decided that we're going to have a nanny.

Now, JD and I have been pretty happy with LM in full-time daycare. We loved the daycare that he attended in Virginia (although the scheduling sometimes stunk), and like the center that LM currently attends in Maryland. (I can't love it because it's the rebound daycare. It's not that there's anything wrong with it). Daycare is a choice* that has worked for our family (even though I occasionally struggle with mommy-guilt because I don't stay at home with LM).

JD and I had thrown around the idea of having a nanny rather than having two kids in full-time daycare, when we started cycling for #2. Given my hyperemesis with my first pregnancy, we knew that this was something that needed to be taken care of sooner rather than later. I had sort of been putting it off for whatever reason, when a family friend (who is a nanny) called to let me know that her current position was ending and that she was looking for a new position. Talk about meant to be!

Though I do feel that we're making the right decision, I am concerned about this transition in LM's life. He is used to "going to school" and being with his teachers and children and activity all day. He is so amazing and personable and talkative and I don't want to do anything that would screw that up. We've looked into LM attending his daycare on a part-time basis, but that is really prohibitively expensive. What I am planning to do is enroll LM in a swim class and some other sort of Mommy & Me-type class so that he's exposed to other kids at least twice a week. (Due to his late birthday, LM won't start preschool until next September).

Any advice or suggestions?

*I use the word "choice" in a looser sense, as both JD and I need to work outside the home for financial reasons, among others.

Undeleted!!

noreply@blogger.com (Jendeis) — Tue, 28 Aug 2012 16:17:00 +0000

For whatever reason, Blogger deleted my blog for a few days, but it is now back up. Yay!!

Now, go do this -- read Mel's instructions on how to back up your blog and do it now! I didn't have anything saved and was trying to cope with the loss of everything I've written over the past five years. Please do this.
___________________________

I am fine. Very nauseated and on Zofran, but fine.

JD is fine. Exhausted from having to take care of most things now, but fine.

LM is fine. Still struggling with giving up the binky, but fine.

Back to our originally scheduled programming in a bit...

Spotting, Counting, Teething?

noreply@blogger.com (Jendeis) — Tue, 21 Aug 2012 15:17:00 +0000

I had very light spotting this morning. Freaked but figured it was more than likely nothing. Still, went downstairs to double-check Dr. Google and called my nurse at Giant Fertility Clinic. I've decided that I'm faced with too many decisions. :)

Here's the scenario:
Nurse's voicemail says she'll be in from 7 AM to 4 PM. (It's currently 6:45). You can leave a message or if it's urgent call the main line.

The main line voicemail says they don't answer the phone till 8 AM, but if you have a medical emergency, call 911, or if it's not an emergency but urgent that you speak to someone, you can call the answering service who will page the doctor on call.

So, you've already got this web of choices that you have to go through when you are freaking out but kind of maintaining but kind of freaking.

You can:
A) Leave a message on Nurse's voice mail.
B) Leave a message on main line voice mail.
C) Wait for main line to answer their phone.
D) Call 911.
E) Call answering service and have on-call doc paged.

Where's the line to reach someone that answers in one ring and immediately tells you it's fine, no worries?

Well, I left a message on Nurse's line and she called me back a little after 8. She thinks it's probably nothing but is going to have me come in for an u/s on Friday as opposed to waiting till the 30th. I figure if she was really worried, she'd be having me come in today, right away, not waiting for several days. I'm basically calm now. No more spotting since this morning.

Sort of related only not question about dates: I'm following the convention of dating since LMP; I think Nurse/GFC is dating from dIUI. Following my convention, I was 6 weeks this past Saturday. Following Nurse's convention, I'm not 6 weeks till this Friday.

It doesn't really make a difference except it totally does because let's say someone's family was planning on going on a D-s-n-y cruise and they won't let you on at 24 weeks (like, they'll literally prevent you from getting on the boat) and by my count, I'm 24 weeks the day that we go. But by Nurse's count, I wouldn't be 24 weeks till the middle of the trip (in which case, I don't know if they'd let me on). And this probably doesn't matter anyways because: a) the count that really matters is my midwifery practice cause I won't be with GFC past 8 weeks (G-D willing) and it's more likely than not that they will go by LMP, and b) remember how sick I was last time? I didn't get off the Zofran pump till I was 26 weeks. Combining my severe motion sickness with hyperemesis? No thank you.
______________________

In other news, LM is fine. Whatever fever he might have had was gone by the time we picked him up from daycare. We took it easy Wednesday night and during the day on Thursday (had to keep him home due to daycare policy). He was fine by Thursday afternoon. I suspect it was just a teething fever.

Batting Over 1000

noreply@blogger.com (Jendeis) — Wed, 15 Aug 2012 20:56:00 +0000

I had my repeat beta (#3 overall) and we got a 1455! Nurse says we're "off the charts wonderful" and no more blood tests needed. Hooray!

Now, we just have to wait till our u/s. Nurse pushed it off a bit (to the 30th) to up the odds that we'll see a heartbeat. So, we'll just be on pins and needles till then.

It stinks to have to go in so often for the blood tests, but it really is nice to get that validation every other day that things are going well.

Nausea is increasing. Blech.

JD just called. LM is running a 100° fever at daycare right now. JD is going to pick him up and we'll all meet up at the house. I'm hoping this is just a tooth coming in or too much activity and not the beginnings of something yucky.

The Dog Ate My Posts and Other Excuses

noreply@blogger.com (Jendeis) — Tue, 14 Aug 2012 18:02:00 +0000

Remember how I was totally going to be back on board with this whole posting thing? Yeah, that happened.

I'm here for right now, and rather than set myself up for failure, I'm just going to say that I'm posting right now, and if I happen to post again, cool.

Here's the news:

A.) I stopped going to Weight Watchers meetings and started to lose weight, thus proving that just paying for their program but not actually attending their meetings still has some beneficial affect on your health. (Or it could be that I'm continuing to incorporate more exercise, better fats and a wider variety of fruits and vegetables into my daily life, but I prefer my first analysis).

B.) We started back on the TTC bandwagon for #2. Did back-to-back dIUIs over Memorial Day Weekend (yeah, we got to the beach Friday night and had to leave Saturday afternoon in order to be back home in time for Sunday's procedure). BFN.

C.) We decided to skip the next cycle so that we could have an actual vacation over July 4th. It turns out that didn't really matter as I had my shortest cycle on record, and got AF while we were on vacation.

D.) Did our 2nd round at the end of July. Found out this past Thursday - BFP. (I know, way to bury the lead, huh?) First beta: 121. For comparison purposes, LM's first beta was 57.1. My repeat beta (yesterday, 96 hours between) was 573. We're due for a third beta tomorrow and based on that, they'll decide when they want to do an ultrasound.

E.) Yes, I'm feeling sick and dizzy. Based on my pregnancy with LM, I've got 2 weeks before all hell breaks loose. As I told Mel, it's a good thing I was able to retain my amateur status for the Olympics, because I'd like to medal in something, even if it's just nausea.

Self-Talk

noreply@blogger.com (Jendeis) — Tue, 13 Mar 2012 19:34:00 +0000

I thought of a great post to write last night and I've forgotten it already, so I'm just going to recap my latest Weight Watchers' efforts.

I lost 0.8 lbs this week. I was doing some negative self-talk around the whole weigh-in. I had the stomach flu late last week, and felt that any loss wouldn't really count, cause it was due to illness as opposed to staying on the program. Of course, if I had gained weight, I would have felt bad about myself, thinking "I can't even lose weight with the stomach flu!" So, it was fortuitous that this week's topic at Weight Watchers was about positive vs. negative self-talk.

I'm trying to work on the voice in my head though. I am happy with the loss, and before the flu, I really was working the program. I've started using measuring cups when I eat at home, particularly to measure the amount of milk I'm putting into cereal, tea or coffee. Apparently, a Jen quarter-cup is not equal to a Science quarter-cup. :)

This week, I'm going to focus again on portion sizes and I'd also like to focus on water intake. I'm really not drinking enough and it shows in my dry lips and skin. I haven't been able to get our Wii set up yet, but I've gotten in a bunch of lovely walks outside.

noreply@blogger.com (Jendeis) — Wed, 07 Mar 2012 18:20:00 +0000

Remember how I used to have that big 101 in 1001 list on the left sidebar? That list's deadline was in June 2010, but I kept working on the tasks that I set for myself. This was really the first time that I articulated so many discrete goals for myself, and I found it to be incredibly helpful and enjoyable.

I was able to cross off the vast majority of items on my first list, so I decided that it was time to make a new list. Here is my 101 in 1001 list - version 2.0!

Mission: Accomplish 101 discrete tasks in 1001 days
End Date: December 2, 2014

Green tasks are in progress.

HOME
1. Bring all wedding gifts from parents’ house to our house.
2. Choose wedding pictures to have printed and to make parents' albums.
3. Put together an emergency box (water, flashlights, etc.) for the house.
4. Put together “72-hour kits” in case of emergency/evacuation.
5. Put together an emergency box for both cars.
6. Write and properly execute wills.
7. Complete china service.
8. Complete silverware service.
9. Learn how to iron clothes properly.
10. Fully unpack house.
11. Set up guest room.
12. Set up office.
13. Set up “launchpad” in entry.
14. Put together a Task List/Control Journal for the house.
15. Back up computer.
16. Organize front-hall closet.
17. Organize master closet.
18. Plan and start an Evening Routine.
19. Plan and start a Morning Routine.
20. Start a filing system for paying bills and saving paperwork.
21. Hang pictures/paintings in house.
22. Get family room couch and chairs fixed.
23. Create a photobook of Lil’ Man’s art.
24. Create a photobook of Lil’ Man’s first year.
25. Hang and maintain a height chart for Lil’ Man.
26. Put clothes in hamper (not on floor) every day for 1 month.
27. Get a hamper for dry cleaning.
28. Get the kitchen to a shiny sink before I go to bed for 21 days straight.

FOOD
29. Start buying grassfed meat and pastured poultry.
30. Make homemade yogurt.
31. Join a CSA.
32. Follow a menu plan for 1 week.
33. Follow a menu plan for 1 month.
34. Bring lunch and snacks to work for 4 days in a week.
35. Bring lunch and snacks to work for 4 days per week for 1 month.
36. Make matzah ball soup.
37. Make a green smoothie.
38. Make jam
39. Preserve a food by canning.
40. Make fresh pasta
41. Bake a pie.
42. Go apple picking.
43. Bake 10 new things and blog about it.
44. Cook 10 new things and blog about it.

HEALTH
45. See a personal trainer to start a weight-training regimen.
46. Get eyes checked.
47. Take meds & vitamins every day for a month.
48. Floss every day for a month.
49. Exercise 30 minutes 3-4 times/week for 1 month.
50. Try Zumba.
51. Reach a healthy BMI.
52. Do the Couch-to-5K program.
53. Find a new foundation (makeup).
54. Put on makeup before I leave the house every day for 1 week.
55. Take a yoga/pilates class.

SELF/SPIRITUAL
56. Have Friday night Shabbat dinner at our house for family/friends
57. Have a sukkah for Sukkot.
58. Make hamentashchen for Purim.
59. Make mishloach manot for Purim.
60. Go to a Tashlich service at Rosh Hashanah.
61. Go to Shabbat services at least once a season.
62. Have a dairy meal for Shavuot.
63. Write a list of 50 things that make me happy.
64. Make a list of 5 people who have positively influenced me and write them letters.
65. Contribute to our tzedakah box every week before Shabbat candlelighting.
66. Bake challah and freeze small portions for use over a month.

RELATIONSHIPS
67. Take Lil’ Man to the Zoo.
68. Take Lil’ Man to the Playseum.
69. Play in the leaves with Lil’ Man.
70. Send Mom flowers for no reason.
71. Send 5 friends flowers for no reason.
72. Bring JD breakfast in bed.
73. Create our own “Family Rules” and display in house.
74. Write an “If Something Happens to Me” Letter

FUN
75. Learn how to play the piano.
76. Read all of Shakespeare’s plays. (9/36)
77. Ride in a hot-air balloon.
78. Take a golf lesson.
79. Learn how to play bridge.
80. Complete a needlework project.
81. Make/do 10 things on my Pinterest boards.
82. Read 10 books that I haven’t read from 1001 Books You Must Read Before You Die.
83. Write a blog review of the 1001 Books… I read.
84. Have a picnic.
85. Take a picture of Lil’ Man at least once a week.
86. Write an article for my work newsletter.
87. Knit something.
88. Ask 20 friends to suggest one book and read them all.
89. Write a blog review of the “20 Books from Friends” I read.
90. Take a photo of the same place every month for a year and turn it into a calendar.
91. Host a dinner party.
92. See 10 classic movies I’ve never seen.
93. Go horseback riding.
94. See a play/musical.
95. Listen to a lecture online.
96. Write a blog post once a week for a year.
97. Pay for the person behind me at Starbucks.
98. Have a girls’ weekend.
99. Donate blood.
100. Do swab test for bone marrow donation.
101. Create and send out a family photo holiday card.

This Goin' Up Is Bringin' Me Down

noreply@blogger.com (Jendeis) — Tue, 06 Mar 2012 20:09:00 +0000

I gained at Weight Watchers this week. Instead of being down 2 lbs., now I'm only down .6 lbs. This stinks. I'm being religious with the tracking and I walked at least 20 minutes most days. I also brought in lunch 4 times and brought snack for myself every day. I think it's the going out on the weekends and the portions.

I don't think it's realistic for me to not go out to eat, but I do need to improve upon the good choices that I'm already making. For example, I teach a class on Wednesdays and after class, I went out to The Cheesecake Factory and had the Asian Chicken Lettuce Tacos from their SkinnyLicious Menu. Good choice - low in points and very filling (btw, tastes fantastic!). Yet because I was starving when we got to dinner, I also ordered the Beets with Goat Cheese, and a couple slices of bread with butter. I had brought a snack to class, but it definitely was not enough for me to not feel starving.

So, here's what I'm going to do about that this week -- bring a bigger snack with me to work on Wednesdays so that I won't be starving when it's time for dinner. I'm also going to try measuring my food when I'm cooking at home, so I don't have "portion creep." I would like also to keep up the amount of activity that I did this past week.

Time for my afternoon snack: fruit cup with grapes, pineapple and cantaloupe.

Once More Unto the Breach and All That

noreply@blogger.com (Jendeis) — Mon, 05 Mar 2012 17:10:00 +0000

I'm 35 now. Thirty effing five. I've been having a bit of a hard time adjusting to the change. Some of this angst is because I'm now officially old and must admit that I will now never do some of the things I wanted to do in my life (be thin while I'm young, can't think of anything else, it must just be that). More of the sturm und drang though comes from us getting back on the TTC bandwagon.

I made the appointment for the consultation. It's real. I'm actually signing up to go through all this another time.

I'm out of practice here -- there's so much going on in my head and I'm finding it difficult to articulate. Hopefully, I'll be less rusty as I keep posting. I would like to keep a record of this time -- not for my child(ren, hopefully) to read later, but more for myself -- to have it memorialized that I was here, I went through this, I wanted this.

I am in a better space to be starting a new IF journey. I've lost a lot of weight since we first started trying. Thanks to hyperemesis during the pregnancy and gallstones afterwards, I lost 70 pounds all tolled. Of course, once my gall bladder came out, I started eating and eating and eating. I'm still down 25 lbs though and I'm doing Weight Watchers to inculcate those healthy eating and exercise habits again.

We're also in a new (to us) house, in a new (to JD, but home to me) state. Yay Maryland!! It's lovely to be back on this side of the river. I've got a 10 minute commute and it's just lover-ly. Sure, our home has been invaded by packing boxes which multiply like Gremlins, but otherwise, I'm really happy with the house.

We'll see where we go from here, eh?

Back That Up

noreply@blogger.com (Jendeis) — Fri, 17 Jun 2011 13:19:00 +0000

Finding a good daycare center was not a troublesome process for us. I looked at several online, picked the one I liked best, and after visiting a short while, we were set. I've been really happy with our choice, and feel secure that Lil' Man is in great hands.

Really, the only problem with our daycare is that because it's religiously-based, it's closed for a lot of holidays, not to mention various teacher conferences, breaks, etc. Last week, we were out on Monday due to illness, then Wednesday and Thursday because of a holiday.

My job is secure (I work for the family business), but I hate having to take so much time off. Then, I feel guilty for wanting to be at work instead of at home with Lil' Man. It's a vicious cycle.

I do need to get together some sort of backup system. Both our parents are in the area, but I'd prefer to not rely on them all the time for care. Not to mention that I'm not 100% trusting of my MIL with the baby even when I'm around, let alone when I'm not there. Wish I was; I'm not.

I did leave Lil' Man with MIL and FIL two weeks ago for JD and I to go out to dinner as grownups, so that's progress. This experience, however, did not alleviate my trust issues.

People tell me, "How bad could your in-laws be? They raised two kids!" Yeah, that's not something in their favor. I'm married to one of their kids. :)

Anyway, we'll figure something out. I'm sure this will get easier once Lil' Man is eating more food and nursing less.

The Forest, The Trees and Freak Napalming Incidents

noreply@blogger.com (Jendeis) — Thu, 16 Jun 2011 12:00:00 +0000

I've always been a worrier -- full of anxiety, ready to see that Parade of Horribles wherever I go. My mom used to call me "Very Worried Walrus" after the Sweet Pickles book. My list of worries is long-lived and long-limbed, like a giant tree, well, many trees to go with the many different, yet inter-related worries. Or, maybe it's a web of webs. I'm sure there's a metaphor in here somewhere.

My biggest worry changes from day-to-day, hour-to-hour, and minute-to-minute. Here's the top few currently:

I'm eating like there's no tomorrow; I'm going to gain back all this weight; I've gotta stop.
R has had the never-ending daycare cold with alternating runny and stuffy nose and cough for 2 weeks.
I need to make sure that I have my parents and JD's parents record a story or something for R so that he has something to remember them by when they pass. (Not that this will happen soon, G-D forbid, I'm just worrying about it). Really, this extends to all family members and friends cause you never know when they will die in some freak napalming incident.
Need to write letters to R and a document detailing all I want for him and want for him to learn in the event of my early death in some freak napalming incident.
The baby's clothes will never become clean and are horribly stained with spit-up. (Deeper meaning: I am a horrible mother; This is a large section of the forest/web/whichever metaphor you prefer).
I am neither able to iron nor light matches and what does this say about me as a person?

I do have faith, though. Faith in myself; faith in G-D; faith that somehow I'll muddle through all of this. I just think, somehow, this will all work itself out because it has to. It may not end how I wish it, but there will be an end somewhere.

The Lazarus Project

noreply@blogger.com (Jendeis) — Wed, 15 Jun 2011 15:49:00 +0000

I'm here.

The last seven months have been a tremendous struggle, but R is the absolute light of my life. He is worth all of this.

I haven't posted until now because I:

didn't have the time, juggling the baby, housework and full-time job;
was dealing with some issues that I didn't feel free to post about;
felt guilty that I hadn't posted anything;
prioritized all tasks over me time;
etc., etc., etc.

Yet, I've always found this blog to be a great outlet for me. I'm hoping that I will be able to post on a regular basis -- making use of a spare ten or fifteen minutes to at least check in.

I've missed you all desperately. I'm back (sheepish grin).

Still Alive

noreply@blogger.com (Jendeis) — Sun, 14 Nov 2010 19:49:00 +0000

First chance I've gotten to get online. We're still alive and doing relatively well. These first few days have been a muddled nightmare of sleeplessness, hormones, bossy in-laws and emotional breakdowns due to said sleeplessness, hormones, and bossy in-laws, etc. Hoping we'll eventually get it together.

Our baby could have been named C-SPAN

noreply@blogger.com (Jendeis) — Wed, 03 Nov 2010 14:02:00 +0000

Fitting for a total politics junkie mom, Raphael Max was born on Election Day at 6:38 PM.

He's 9 lbs 2 oz. and measures 21 inches long.

We're all doing well.

noreply@blogger.com (Jendeis) — Fri, 29 Oct 2010 16:49:00 +0000

My higher BP numbers this week have landed me on modified bedrest while we wait for Baby to show up. No shopping, no putting away of messes and lots of sitting being done around here. While I grow into my couch, I thought I'd share with you some examples of the political ads in our area.
_____________________

How well do we know Jack Smith?

We recently learned that Jack Smith plays golf with Satan every single Sunday.

Jack Smith kills puppies for fun.

And last week, Jack Smith said that he hated America.

We can't vote for Jack Smith, cause we don't know Jack.
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Jimmy Jones says that he's one of us, but did you know that his real name was Vladimir Lenin?

As a Congressman, Jones sponsored a bill that would end life as we know it.

Not only is Jimmy Jones a Democrat, he also hangs out with people in the Democrat Party.

Sorry, Jimmy, you're not one of us at all.
_______________________

Any crazy political ads being shown in your area?

Surely I Must Be on TV

noreply@blogger.com (Jendeis) — Wed, 27 Oct 2010 22:18:00 +0000

Why? Because this morning, I used a seat belt to strap in a jug of pee to my car. I'm on Candid Camera, right? Where are the cameras?

One of the midwives called with the results this afternoon. My pee is perfect (creatinine levels look good and protein levels are low) -- go me.

After the pee drop-off, I went to the store to buy a digital camera, thus guaranteeing that I will find the one that I can't find in my home. Now to make sure that we remember to bring the camera with us...

I got home to find that all of the sprinkler heads have been replaced in my home. Yay! I had gone first thing this morning to the building manager to ask if our unit could be prioritized for the work. Apparently, we were the first unit done today. Thank goodness. I believe the contractors have to come back tomorrow to check for leaks, so I can't put anything away yet, but there's light at the end of the tunnel now.

40 Weeks

noreply@blogger.com (Jendeis) — Wed, 27 Oct 2010 03:21:00 +0000

Well, we're here. No baby yet, but tons of excitement.

Early Saturday morning, I was having a lot of "contractions" that were very close together (1:30 apart for about an hour). I knew it couldn't be the real thing because the contractions were unpleasant but not painful. (After conferring today with my midwife and a friend who is a doula, it's likely that the contractions were my cervix effacing as opposed to dilating).

What was worse than the contractions was the nausea. It was back in full force. It's been so long since I've had nausea (and it was also 3 AM), that I couldn't remember what to do and I am the Nausea Queen! My body's response to any stimulus is nausea! I was embarrassed for myself. After finally realizing I needed to eat, I had a few small pretzels and made myself a cuppa tea. The pretzels didn't help much, but once I started drinking the tea, my stomach seemed to settle down.

I've worried that the nausea would return for labor, and I guess I have confirmation now that it will. I've spoken with both JD and our doula about this concern, stressing the need to make sure that I'm hydrating enough so that we can avoid the need for IV hydration. We're also going to make sure to pack a few things that help me with nausea to bring in to the hospital.

So, that brings us to today. At the midwives' office today, my blood pressure was pretty high for me (142/90). I had my first cervical check -- one of the most painful things I've ever experienced. I was 50% effaced and not dilated at all (maybe that's why the check was so painful). Baby's heartrate was steady in the 150s. A second bp check was still high, so I got sent to the hospital for a non-stress test and bloodwork.

I got hooked up to a fetal monitor and blood pressure cuff and the nurse had me lay down flat on my back on the gurney. I wasn't able to sleep (there were so many alarm bells going off all over the place - not from me) but I was able to just lay down and rest. They had me laying down for so long that my left hip started hurting (as it has done throughout the last couple months), so I managed to flip myself over to my side. Apparently, my bp stayed high the whole time until I turned to my side, when it came down immediately into the normal range and stayed there. Yeah, so I guess what they say about avoiding laying on your back when you're heavily pregnant is true and maybe the labor/delivery nurse should know that. You know, just maybe.

My bloodwork and urine dip came back normal, so the midwife thought this was probably just pregnancy-induced hypertension. I think it was life-induced hypertension, as they are currently replacing all of the sprinkler heads in our building, and they were supposed to come this morning and tomorrow* and you have to move everything 2 feet away from each sprinkler head so my house looks like a tornado went through it, and it's a sucky thing to go through when you're in full-on nesting mode. There's been a couple of crying jags due to the stress and emotions and the drama of it all. Of course, the contractors didn't even show up today. I'm going to go down to the office tomorrow morning and see if our unit can be put on the priority list to get done because we can't clean up the place until after they are done and it's at least a 2-day process.

So, I get to do a 24-hour urine catch (hooray) and go back in to see the midwives on Thursday.

The hospital was packed today (Snowpacalypse babies in da house!) and triage was especially swamped. Given the crowd, they are booking an induction date for me in case we need it. I'm hoping we don't.

*The scheduling of the sprinkler work was not my idea. The process started around Labor Day and they should have gotten to our unit by the end of September. Unfortunately, there have been a lot of hiccups in the process and they've only gotten to us this week.

39 Weeks

noreply@blogger.com (Jendeis) — Tue, 19 Oct 2010 15:51:00 +0000

I'm alive and fine. Baby is still on the inside. I just haven't had much to say in the last month. I think about stuff to write and feel terribly guilty for not posting more often, but it's like I only have little things to say and then it's not worth it and then I go hide.

What's been happening?

-My office had an extremely low-key shower for me with cake and a few gifts. It was really nice and I appreciated my co-workers accommodating my wishes about not having a huge blowout party. These gifts happened to be the first baby items that we brought into our house, so that was a big thrill too.

-My sister and my BFF threw a Celebration of Awesome for me in lieu of a shower. This was a gathering of the women in my family at a local hotel for a high tea and we had a wonderful time.

-I have it on good authority from several people that based on the way that I'm carrying/the baby's heartrate/the date of conception/the angle of Venus that the baby is definitely a boy/girl. I am confident that the baby is a boy/girl.

-The baby dropped about 2 weeks ago in order to spare me the horrible heartburn (or, cause you know that's how anatomy works) and now I just feel like a 10 lb. (uneducated guesstimate, whatever it's heavy) weight is swinging between my legs when I'm walking.

-In other "Holy Crap, This Might Be Real, But Let's Not Tempt Fate" news, I have set up the Pack 'n' Play in our bedroom and my sister's boyfriend, a fireman, came over to install our car seat for us. I am now driving around with an infant seat in my car. I am praying that the fates are appeased by JD and I stubbing our toes on the much-larger-than-it-seemed-in-the-store Pack 'n' Play every time we walk by. Prior to getting the car seat installed, we took the car to the car wash and they vaccuumed out the inside of the car and then we got to ride through the car wash and it's so beautiful now I don't even want to drive it. Yes, I'm 5.

-Our house is a mess. We are hopeless clutterers. One day the crap will drown me in a tidal wave of junk mail and spare computer cables. JD does not think my solution of burning down the house is a good idea (probably because he refuses to abandon our clutter-filled ways and/or wants to avoid being labeled an "arsonist." He's small-minded like that). Also, the front of the house has a weird smell that I'm pretty sure is not me because wouldn't I then smell the smell wherever I went and I don't so I think it's something in the house. The smell might be from our houseplant; I don't think it's from stinkbugs cause they have a different smell. I don't think we're hoarders, but I'm not as diligent as I could be about cleaning up and maintaining and JD won't do anything involving cleaning unless I'm cleaning at the exact same time (sometimes not even then). I haven't found a solution yet, but I am ever hopeful.

-I love the show "Fringe." I feel so good knowing that I hung in there through the stupid period because the show would come back to a place of even more awesome and it did. I don't know why I'm still watching "Grey's" as it entered the stupid period long ago and it looks as if it'll never return.

-Will try to post more soon, even if it's just little things. I've been following everyone's blogs, just not commenting very often.

I'm Not Discounting Ebola Yet

noreply@blogger.com (Jendeis) — Wed, 22 Sep 2010 15:37:00 +0000

Finally back from all the High Holiday hoopla and the Bataan Death March that was our tour of the hospital where (knock on wood) we'll be delivering [the maternity ward is a very short walk, but they made us hike over to the hospital wing 4,000 miles away where they'll be storing overflow post-partum cases. They are anticipating an overflow due to all the babies who are about to be born because Keyzer Snowze happened 9 months ago, and apparently people who have sex during blizzards get babies. (Silly rabbit, that's what cures IF)].

I had my second appointment yesterday with my new practice of midwives and it went really well. Blood pressure is good; weight is good; baby is head down and is measuring right on time. I'm spilling a little glucose, but the nurse thinks that's more attributable to the Starbucks Hot Chocolate I had yesterday morning, then anything to really worry about.

I also got a flu shot. About three hours later, my throat started hurting and I started feeling really congested. I've never had this kind of reaction to the flu shot before, so I'm thinking it's just the coincidental onset of a cold. Or Ebola. Cause you never know. Now I have to hunt down whoever gave me this cold/Ebola and kill them, since that's a proportional response. (I just heard one of the admins coughing, so he and my MIL (who's had a cold since Rosh Hashanah) are now the prime suspects).

Speaking of the lack of proportional responses, my MIL and SIL seem bound and determined to keep me in the middle of their never-ending battle, with each complaining about the other to me. I think they are both acting like immature hotheads, and I mean that in the most diplomatic way possible. I do think that each of them would benefit from actually learning the lesson that it's possible to convey the same message in many different ways, some more offensive than others. Given what I think is the generalized lack of understanding of conversational and social cues from undiagnosed and untreated Asperger's going on here, it's unlikely that either will learn this lesson, and that both people will invariably select the most offensive statement to use on any given occasion.

In other news, as I discussed with Calliope, LJ and Mel the other day, I'm now having nightmares related to my worries about SIL and her ~~crazy~~ ~~intolerant~~ very strong opinions on ~~everything~~ hand washing and the fact that her immediate family does not use any antibacterial products (which I'm OK with) and does not wash their hands with soap (which I'm not OK with). One of the bloggers on Who Wants to Know recently did a post on these signs that you hang on a stroller or car seat to discourage random people with unwashed hands from touching the baby. A little extreme? Perhaps. Would SIL respect the sign or my requests? Given her previous behavior, that's a bit doubtful. Suggestions for how to handle this would be appreciated.

Best Wishes for the New Year

noreply@blogger.com (Jendeis) — Wed, 08 Sep 2010 18:02:00 +0000

After taking a realistic look (brought on by a vent of crazy) at the list of what I was going to make for the holidays and the list of what I would be able to make for the holidays, I severely pared down my cooking to-do list. (Let us not mention that I now have ingredients for the former list sitting in my pantry -- maybe I'll cook some more next week). Thank goodness that both my mother and MIL are understanding women whose price is beyond rubies.

Just wanted to take a moment before tonight to wish everyone a sweet and happy new year. The poem below always moves me, so I like to include it each year in my new year greetings.

In the new year which now begins, these are my wishes for you:

May you experience no earthquakes, no hurricanes, no floods, and no dinnertime phone solicitations.
And if they come, may you have a flashlight, a radio, a cell phone, water, food, and a siddur [prayer book] ready, just in case.

May you see a good play, hear a great opera, and see no flashing police lights behind you.

May strangers greet you with smiles, and little children with sticky kisses.

May you have enough wealth to be able to give to tzedakah [charity], and enough left over to provide you with necessities:

May you have bread to eat and cake as well,

May you have a roof over your head and clothing to wear,
And may you help provide them for the hungry, the homeless and the ragged.

May your stocks come back,
And may your bank stay open,
And may your interest rate fall,
And may the IRS leave you a full 30% of what you earn to call your own.

May you banish all thoughts and conversations about the coming elections
For these next ten days,
So that you avoid fights with members of your family and your friends,
And may you remember that, no matter who is elected,
According to Hebrew National,
They all have to answer to a Higher Authority.

May you forgive the candidates for what they say about each other,
And may you remember that no one is as perfect as he claims to be,
And no one is as terrible as his opponent claims he is,
And forget the promises that they all make -- because they will, as soon as they are elected.

May you be able to decipher your electric bill, your telephone bills, your credit card bill, and your income tax forms,
And the tiny, tiny print at the bottom of all these documents,
Which says in essence that they don't mean what is written above in big print.

May you live long enough to be able to drive automobiles which do not run on fossil fuels.
And may this happen before you become an old fossil yourself.

May those of us who drive SUVs be blessed with enough wealth
To be able to fill them with gasoline enough,
To get to the corner store and back,
And may we not have to choose between having enough money with which to buy gas with which to get to the grocery store,
And having enough money with which to buy groceries when we get there.
And may our children, for the sake of whom we bought these vehicles in the first place
Never yell or fight but sit quietly buckled up, with their hands folded,
And never once ask us: Are we there yet?

May you learn how to control your television set,
And may you learn to cope with all the new buttons on the controls,
And may there be something worth watching when you finally figure out how to start your TV.

May neither you, nor your computer, ever be infected by a virus.

May peace reign over Israel,
And may its children not have to sleep in bomb shelters any longer,
And may all of its leaders, like Natan Sharansky, be people who have gone to prison BEFORE they ascended to high office, and not afterwards.

May the world become safe to live in for all of G-D's children,
And may some parents learn that it is not necessary to strap explosives onto the bodies of their children in order to attain paradise,
But that instead paradise can be found here on earth, if people will only learn to live together in peace.

May you stop rushing long enough to realize
How blessed we are
To be able to enjoy this amazing planet on which we live,
And may we try hard not to spoil it.

And whether you pray in the words of the machzor [a Hebrew prayer book],
Or in your own words,
May you feel the presence of G-D around you,
And may you love your G-D, with all your heart, and all your soul, and all your might,
And may you know that G-D loves you too,
And may G-D give you a shana tova u'metukah,
A good and a sweet new year.

Amen.
--Rabbi Jacob Pressman

50/50

noreply@blogger.com (Jendeis) — Mon, 30 Aug 2010 23:04:00 +0000

Dizziness and nausea started last night and continued all through most of the day today. Blech. I'll mention it to my OB when I see her tomorrow, but she had told me that it was possible that the nausea might come back, so I'm not sure there's much to do beyond taking some Zofran if I need to. (Also, her office called me today to let me know that the copy of my files was ready for pickup. Yay!)

On the good side though, I was able to start cooking for the High Holidays. Yay me! I mixed together two batches of MyMahtha's Honey Walnut Coin Cookies and put them in the freezer. I'll defrost the dough and bake off the cookies next week.

I Heart Lists

noreply@blogger.com (Jendeis) — Fri, 27 Aug 2010 19:15:00 +0000

Because I just can't go into how infuriating my OB's office is (current threat level: firebombing = proportional response), I present you with a List of The New Classics as seen on books i done read. I've probably done this before, but I heart lists.

If there's any that I haven't read that you recommend, let me know!

THE NEW CLASSICS

~~1. The Road , Cormac McCarthy~~

~~2. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, J.K. Rowling~~
~~3. Beloved, Toni Morri~~son
4. The Liars' Club, Mary Karr
5. American Pastoral, Philip Roth
6. Mystic River, Dennis Lehane
~~7. Maus, Art Spiegelman~~
8. Selected Stories, Alice Munro
9. Cold Mountain, Charles Frazier
10. The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle, Haruki Murakami
~~11. Into Thin Air, Jon Krakauer~~
12. Blindness, José Saramago
13. Watchmen, Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons
14. Black Water, Joyce Carol Oates
15. A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius, Dave Eggers
~~16. The Handmaid's Tale, Margaret Atwood~~
17. Love in the Time of Cholera, Gabriel García Márquez
18. Rabbit at Rest, John Updike
19. On Beauty, Zadie Smith
~~20. Bridget Jones's Diary, Helen Fielding~~
~~21. On Writing, Stephen King~~
22. The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao, Junot Díaz
23. The Ghost Road, Pat Barker
24. Lonesome Dove, Larry McMurtry
~~25. The Joy Luck Club, Amy Tan~~
26. Neuromancer, William Gibson
27. Possession, A.S. Byatt
28. Naked, David Sedaris
29. Bel Canto, Anne Patchett
30. Case Histories, Kate Atkinson
~~31. The Things They Carried, Tim O'Brien~~
32. Parting the Waters, Taylor Branch
33. The Year of Magical Thinking, Joan Didion
~~34. The Lovely Bones, Alice Sebold~~
35. The Line of Beauty, Alan Hollinghurst
36. Angela's Ashes, Frank McCourt
37. Persepolis, Marjane Satrapi
38. Birds of America, Lorrie Moore
39. Interpreter of Maladies, Jhumpa Lahiri
40. His Dark Materials, Philip Pullman
41. The House on Mango Street, Sandra Cisneros
42. LaBrava, Elmore Leonard
43. Borrowed Time, Paul Monette
44. Praying for Sheetrock, Melissa Fay Greene
45. Eva Luna, Isabel Allende
46. Sandman, Neil Gaiman
47. World's Fair, E.L. Doctorow
~~48. The Poisonwood Bible, Barbara Kingsolver~~
49. Clockers, Richard Price
50. The Corrections, Jonathan Franzen
51. The Journalist and the Murderer, Janet Malcom
52. Waiting to Exhale, Terry McMillan
~~53. The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay, Michael Chabon~~
54. Jimmy Corrigan, Chris Ware
55. The Glass Castle, Jeannette Walls
56. The Night Manager, John le Carré
~~57. The Bonfire of the Vanities, Tom Wolfe~~
58. Drop City, TC Boyle
59. Krik? Krak! Edwidge Danticat
~~60. Nickel & Dimed, Barbara Ehrenreich~~
61. Money, Martin Amis
62. Last Train To Memphis, Peter Guralnick
63. Pastoralia, George Saunders
64. Underworld, Don DeLillo
65. The Giver, Lois Lowry
66. A Supposedly Fun Thing I’ll Never Do Again, David Foster Wallace
~~67. The Kite Runner, Khaled Hosseini~~
68. Fun Home, Alison Bechdel
69. Secret History, Donna Tartt
70. Cloud Atlas, David Mitchell
71. The Spirit Catches You and You Fall Down, Ann Fadiman
72. The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time, Mark Haddon
~~73. A Prayer for Owen Meany, John Irving~~
~~74. Friday Night Lights, H.G. Bissinger~~
75. Cathedral, Raymond Carver
76. A Sight for Sore Eyes, Ruth Rendell
77. The Remains of the Day, Kazuo Ishiguro
~~78. Eat, Pray, Love, Elizabeth Gilbert~~
~~79. The Tipping Point, Malcolm Gladwell~~
80. Bright Lights, Big City, Jay McInerney
81. Backlash, Susan Faludi
~~82. Atonement, Ian McEwan~~
83. The Stone Diaries, Carol Shields
84. Holes, Louis Sachar
85. Gilead, Marilynne Robinson
~~86. And the Band Played On, Randy Shilts~~
87. The Ruins, Scott Smith
88. High Fidelity, Nick Hornby
89. Close Range, Annie Proulx
~~90. Comfort Me With Apples, Ruth Reichl~~
91. Random Family, Adrian Nicole LeBlanc
92. Presumed Innocent, Scott Turow
93. A Thousand Acres, Jane Smiley
94. Fast Food Nation, Eric Schlosser
95. Kaaterskill Falls, Allegra Goodman
~~96. The Da Vinci Code, Dan Brown~~
97. Jesus’ Son, Denis Johnson
98. The Predators' Ball, Connie Bruck
99. Practical Magic, Alice Hoffman
~~100. America (the Book), Jon Stewart/Daily Show~~

More on Records and EFM Stuff

noreply@blogger.com (Jendeis) — Thu, 19 Aug 2010 18:46:00 +0000

So, I didn't have to get all lawyer-y on my doc's office - I just asked if a letter requesting my records for my own use would be sufficient, and they said yes. Thank goodness. I faxed in that letter yesterday afternoon, and I plan to follow up with them first thing tomorrow morning. (I'll be picking up the records myself and delivering them by hand to the midwives' office to avoid any screw ups. Well, to avoid screw ups by other people -- never discount my own ability to mess things up). After getting off the phone, I basked in my utter rebelness, did a victory dance and told my assistant that "I fight for the forces of justice and goodness."

In answer to a few commenters' questions regarding the availability of a compromise with my doc, unfortunately, there really isn't one. My doc wants me to be on continuous monitoring from the second that I walk in the hospital doors. She wasn't even thrilled with the idea of my getting off of the monitor for bathroom breaks, let alone only being on the monitor for 10 or 20 minutes out of every hour. Also, as I mentioned yesterday, at my hospital, if you're on the monitor, you're in the bed, and that's that.

I've got some issues with the whole idea of continuous monitoring in general (e.g., the monitors are notoriously inaccurate, and are even more so for overweight women), but am willing to do continuous monitoring with a wireless system, that would enable me to move freely during labor, while giving my care provider the information that they would like.

Hopefully, this will all work itself out in the coming days.

A Change Is Gonna Come - We Think

noreply@blogger.com (Jendeis) — Wed, 18 Aug 2010 17:50:00 +0000

I saw my doc on Monday for my 30-week (yikes!) appointment. Everything looks good, and I even managed to lose 4 lbs. The weight loss is likely due to a slight return of nausea over the past two-week period. My doc had warned me previously that this could occur in women who've had hyperemesis and that I should take the Zofran pills on an as-needed basis. Most of my nausea was eased by a cup of tea and longer naps; there was really only one day where I needed the Zofran to get me out of the cycle.

I also went over our preferences for the birth with my doc. JD and I are both hoping to have as "natural" a birth as possible, i.e., one that is as unmedicated as possible. Our doc was mostly willing to work within our preferences, but absolutely balked on the question of external electronic fetal monitoring (EFM). Apparently, the policy of our hospital and of our doctor (who only works out of this one hospital) is to have the mother on continuous EFM from the time she walks in. At our hospital, this means that mom cannot get out of bed while she's in labor. (Other hospitals have the capability to do wireless EFM, so that moms can move around, change positions, and even take a bath while remaining monitored; it's just that our hospital does not have this capability).

In our research and through our Bradley Method classes, JD and I have learned techniques to cope with labor and almost all involve being able to move freely and change positions as needed to encourage an easier labor and easier delivery. It seems like we're at a deal breaker with our doctor, which just stinks. If our doc delivered at any other hospital in the area, we could go on the wireless EFM and that would be fine with me. But we can't, so it's time to investigate other options, even at this late stage in the game.

I contacted a local midwifery practice that delivers at a hospital only 30 or so minutes from us. The nurse was pretty sure that they'd be able to take me on; I just have to go through a phone consult with one of the midwives to make sure that I'm not high-risk for their practice (I'm not).

Once that's done, they'll want me to meet all of the midwives in the practice, and I need to make sure that I get my records transferred over at least 3 business days before they meet with me. The nurse highly recommended that I call my doc's office to inquire about their policy for transferring my records and the doc's office manager said, "Well, you have to give us at least 30 days, although we usually get it done before that." WHAT?! 3 days vs. 30 days. After looking at my records though, the office manager said it shouldn't take really long to get them together, since I only started with the practice during this pregnancy.

Still, before they start copying the records, they need a letter from me releasing me from their care. I'm not ready to do that yet, because I don't know if the midwives will take me on.

I also didn't want my doc to know that I was thinking about changing practices until after the decision was made and I could write a letter explaining that I loved her, but that the EFM issue was a deal breaker for me (maybe this would give her leverage with the hospital). This stinks.

I think I may have to get a little lawyer-y with the office manager and tell her I want a copy of my medical records for my personal records. It's called HIPPAA, dude, I'm pretty sure I'm allowed to get my files cause they're MY files.

Anybody have any other ideas or experience in dealing with this?