Sell Crazy Someplace Else

Back That Up

noreply@blogger.com (Jendeis) — Fri, 17 Jun 2011 13:19:00 +0000

Finding a good daycare center was not a troublesome process for us. I looked at several online, picked the one I liked best, and after visiting a short while, we were set. I've been really happy with our choice, and feel secure that Lil' Man is in great hands.

Really, the only problem with our daycare is that because it's religiously-based, it's closed for a lot of holidays, not to mention various teacher conferences, breaks, etc. Last week, we were out on Monday due to illness, then Wednesday and Thursday because of a holiday.

My job is secure (I work for the family business), but I hate having to take so much time off. Then, I feel guilty for wanting to be at work instead of at home with Lil' Man. It's a vicious cycle.

I do need to get together some sort of backup system. Both our parents are in the area, but I'd prefer to not rely on them all the time for care. Not to mention that I'm not 100% trusting of my MIL with the baby even when I'm around, let alone when I'm not there. Wish I was; I'm not.

I did leave Lil' Man with MIL and FIL two weeks ago for JD and I to go out to dinner as grownups, so that's progress. This experience, however, did not alleviate my trust issues.

People tell me, "How bad could your in-laws be? They raised two kids!" Yeah, that's not something in their favor. I'm married to one of their kids. :)

Anyway, we'll figure something out. I'm sure this will get easier once Lil' Man is eating more food and nursing less.

The Forest, The Trees and Freak Napalming Incidents

noreply@blogger.com (Jendeis) — Thu, 16 Jun 2011 12:00:00 +0000

I've always been a worrier -- full of anxiety, ready to see that Parade of Horribles wherever I go. My mom used to call me "Very Worried Walrus" after the Sweet Pickles book. My list of worries is long-lived and long-limbed, like a giant tree, well, many trees to go with the many different, yet inter-related worries. Or, maybe it's a web of webs. I'm sure there's a metaphor in here somewhere.

My biggest worry changes from day-to-day, hour-to-hour, and minute-to-minute. Here's the top few currently:

I'm eating like there's no tomorrow; I'm going to gain back all this weight; I've gotta stop.
R has had the never-ending daycare cold with alternating runny and stuffy nose and cough for 2 weeks.
I need to make sure that I have my parents and JD's parents record a story or something for R so that he has something to remember them by when they pass. (Not that this will happen soon, G-D forbid, I'm just worrying about it). Really, this extends to all family members and friends cause you never know when they will die in some freak napalming incident.
Need to write letters to R and a document detailing all I want for him and want for him to learn in the event of my early death in some freak napalming incident.
The baby's clothes will never become clean and are horribly stained with spit-up. (Deeper meaning: I am a horrible mother; This is a large section of the forest/web/whichever metaphor you prefer).
I am neither able to iron nor light matches and what does this say about me as a person?

I do have faith, though. Faith in myself; faith in G-D; faith that somehow I'll muddle through all of this. I just think, somehow, this will all work itself out because it has to. It may not end how I wish it, but there will be an end somewhere.

The Lazarus Project

noreply@blogger.com (Jendeis) — Wed, 15 Jun 2011 15:49:00 +0000

I'm here.

The last seven months have been a tremendous struggle, but R is the absolute light of my life. He is worth all of this.

I haven't posted until now because I:

didn't have the time, juggling the baby, housework and full-time job;
was dealing with some issues that I didn't feel free to post about;
felt guilty that I hadn't posted anything;
prioritized all tasks over me time;
etc., etc., etc.

Yet, I've always found this blog to be a great outlet for me. I'm hoping that I will be able to post on a regular basis -- making use of a spare ten or fifteen minutes to at least check in.

I've missed you all desperately. I'm back (sheepish grin).

Still Alive

noreply@blogger.com (Jendeis) — Sun, 14 Nov 2010 19:49:00 +0000

First chance I've gotten to get online. We're still alive and doing relatively well. These first few days have been a muddled nightmare of sleeplessness, hormones, bossy in-laws and emotional breakdowns due to said sleeplessness, hormones, and bossy in-laws, etc. Hoping we'll eventually get it together.

Our baby could have been named C-SPAN

noreply@blogger.com (Jendeis) — Wed, 03 Nov 2010 14:02:00 +0000

Fitting for a total politics junkie mom, Raphael Max was born on Election Day at 6:38 PM.

He's 9 lbs 2 oz. and measures 21 inches long.

We're all doing well.

noreply@blogger.com (Jendeis) — Fri, 29 Oct 2010 16:49:00 +0000

My higher BP numbers this week have landed me on modified bedrest while we wait for Baby to show up. No shopping, no putting away of messes and lots of sitting being done around here. While I grow into my couch, I thought I'd share with you some examples of the political ads in our area.
_____________________

How well do we know Jack Smith?

We recently learned that Jack Smith plays golf with Satan every single Sunday.

Jack Smith kills puppies for fun.

And last week, Jack Smith said that he hated America.

We can't vote for Jack Smith, cause we don't know Jack.
_______________________

Jimmy Jones says that he's one of us, but did you know that his real name was Vladimir Lenin?

As a Congressman, Jones sponsored a bill that would end life as we know it.

Not only is Jimmy Jones a Democrat, he also hangs out with people in the Democrat Party.

Sorry, Jimmy, you're not one of us at all.
_______________________

Any crazy political ads being shown in your area?

Surely I Must Be on TV

noreply@blogger.com (Jendeis) — Wed, 27 Oct 2010 22:18:00 +0000

Why? Because this morning, I used a seat belt to strap in a jug of pee to my car. I'm on Candid Camera, right? Where are the cameras?

One of the midwives called with the results this afternoon. My pee is perfect (creatinine levels look good and protein levels are low) -- go me.

After the pee drop-off, I went to the store to buy a digital camera, thus guaranteeing that I will find the one that I can't find in my home. Now to make sure that we remember to bring the camera with us...

I got home to find that all of the sprinkler heads have been replaced in my home. Yay! I had gone first thing this morning to the building manager to ask if our unit could be prioritized for the work. Apparently, we were the first unit done today. Thank goodness. I believe the contractors have to come back tomorrow to check for leaks, so I can't put anything away yet, but there's light at the end of the tunnel now.

40 Weeks

noreply@blogger.com (Jendeis) — Wed, 27 Oct 2010 03:21:00 +0000

Well, we're here. No baby yet, but tons of excitement.

Early Saturday morning, I was having a lot of "contractions" that were very close together (1:30 apart for about an hour). I knew it couldn't be the real thing because the contractions were unpleasant but not painful. (After conferring today with my midwife and a friend who is a doula, it's likely that the contractions were my cervix effacing as opposed to dilating).

What was worse than the contractions was the nausea. It was back in full force. It's been so long since I've had nausea (and it was also 3 AM), that I couldn't remember what to do and I am the Nausea Queen! My body's response to any stimulus is nausea! I was embarrassed for myself. After finally realizing I needed to eat, I had a few small pretzels and made myself a cuppa tea. The pretzels didn't help much, but once I started drinking the tea, my stomach seemed to settle down.

I've worried that the nausea would return for labor, and I guess I have confirmation now that it will. I've spoken with both JD and our doula about this concern, stressing the need to make sure that I'm hydrating enough so that we can avoid the need for IV hydration. We're also going to make sure to pack a few things that help me with nausea to bring in to the hospital.

So, that brings us to today. At the midwives' office today, my blood pressure was pretty high for me (142/90). I had my first cervical check -- one of the most painful things I've ever experienced. I was 50% effaced and not dilated at all (maybe that's why the check was so painful). Baby's heartrate was steady in the 150s. A second bp check was still high, so I got sent to the hospital for a non-stress test and bloodwork.

I got hooked up to a fetal monitor and blood pressure cuff and the nurse had me lay down flat on my back on the gurney. I wasn't able to sleep (there were so many alarm bells going off all over the place - not from me) but I was able to just lay down and rest. They had me laying down for so long that my left hip started hurting (as it has done throughout the last couple months), so I managed to flip myself over to my side. Apparently, my bp stayed high the whole time until I turned to my side, when it came down immediately into the normal range and stayed there. Yeah, so I guess what they say about avoiding laying on your back when you're heavily pregnant is true and maybe the labor/delivery nurse should know that. You know, just maybe.

My bloodwork and urine dip came back normal, so the midwife thought this was probably just pregnancy-induced hypertension. I think it was life-induced hypertension, as they are currently replacing all of the sprinkler heads in our building, and they were supposed to come this morning and tomorrow* and you have to move everything 2 feet away from each sprinkler head so my house looks like a tornado went through it, and it's a sucky thing to go through when you're in full-on nesting mode. There's been a couple of crying jags due to the stress and emotions and the drama of it all. Of course, the contractors didn't even show up today. I'm going to go down to the office tomorrow morning and see if our unit can be put on the priority list to get done because we can't clean up the place until after they are done and it's at least a 2-day process.

So, I get to do a 24-hour urine catch (hooray) and go back in to see the midwives on Thursday.

The hospital was packed today (Snowpacalypse babies in da house!) and triage was especially swamped. Given the crowd, they are booking an induction date for me in case we need it. I'm hoping we don't.

*The scheduling of the sprinkler work was not my idea. The process started around Labor Day and they should have gotten to our unit by the end of September. Unfortunately, there have been a lot of hiccups in the process and they've only gotten to us this week.

39 Weeks

noreply@blogger.com (Jendeis) — Tue, 19 Oct 2010 15:51:00 +0000

I'm alive and fine. Baby is still on the inside. I just haven't had much to say in the last month. I think about stuff to write and feel terribly guilty for not posting more often, but it's like I only have little things to say and then it's not worth it and then I go hide.

What's been happening?

-My office had an extremely low-key shower for me with cake and a few gifts. It was really nice and I appreciated my co-workers accommodating my wishes about not having a huge blowout party. These gifts happened to be the first baby items that we brought into our house, so that was a big thrill too.

-My sister and my BFF threw a Celebration of Awesome for me in lieu of a shower. This was a gathering of the women in my family at a local hotel for a high tea and we had a wonderful time.

-I have it on good authority from several people that based on the way that I'm carrying/the baby's heartrate/the date of conception/the angle of Venus that the baby is definitely a boy/girl. I am confident that the baby is a boy/girl.

-The baby dropped about 2 weeks ago in order to spare me the horrible heartburn (or, cause you know that's how anatomy works) and now I just feel like a 10 lb. (uneducated guesstimate, whatever it's heavy) weight is swinging between my legs when I'm walking.

-In other "Holy Crap, This Might Be Real, But Let's Not Tempt Fate" news, I have set up the Pack 'n' Play in our bedroom and my sister's boyfriend, a fireman, came over to install our car seat for us. I am now driving around with an infant seat in my car. I am praying that the fates are appeased by JD and I stubbing our toes on the much-larger-than-it-seemed-in-the-store Pack 'n' Play every time we walk by. Prior to getting the car seat installed, we took the car to the car wash and they vaccuumed out the inside of the car and then we got to ride through the car wash and it's so beautiful now I don't even want to drive it. Yes, I'm 5.

-Our house is a mess. We are hopeless clutterers. One day the crap will drown me in a tidal wave of junk mail and spare computer cables. JD does not think my solution of burning down the house is a good idea (probably because he refuses to abandon our clutter-filled ways and/or wants to avoid being labeled an "arsonist." He's small-minded like that). Also, the front of the house has a weird smell that I'm pretty sure is not me because wouldn't I then smell the smell wherever I went and I don't so I think it's something in the house. The smell might be from our houseplant; I don't think it's from stinkbugs cause they have a different smell. I don't think we're hoarders, but I'm not as diligent as I could be about cleaning up and maintaining and JD won't do anything involving cleaning unless I'm cleaning at the exact same time (sometimes not even then). I haven't found a solution yet, but I am ever hopeful.

-I love the show "Fringe." I feel so good knowing that I hung in there through the stupid period because the show would come back to a place of even more awesome and it did. I don't know why I'm still watching "Grey's" as it entered the stupid period long ago and it looks as if it'll never return.

-Will try to post more soon, even if it's just little things. I've been following everyone's blogs, just not commenting very often.

I'm Not Discounting Ebola Yet

noreply@blogger.com (Jendeis) — Wed, 22 Sep 2010 15:37:00 +0000

Finally back from all the High Holiday hoopla and the Bataan Death March that was our tour of the hospital where (knock on wood) we'll be delivering [the maternity ward is a very short walk, but they made us hike over to the hospital wing 4,000 miles away where they'll be storing overflow post-partum cases. They are anticipating an overflow due to all the babies who are about to be born because Keyzer Snowze happened 9 months ago, and apparently people who have sex during blizzards get babies. (Silly rabbit, that's what cures IF)].

I had my second appointment yesterday with my new practice of midwives and it went really well. Blood pressure is good; weight is good; baby is head down and is measuring right on time. I'm spilling a little glucose, but the nurse thinks that's more attributable to the Starbucks Hot Chocolate I had yesterday morning, then anything to really worry about.

I also got a flu shot. About three hours later, my throat started hurting and I started feeling really congested. I've never had this kind of reaction to the flu shot before, so I'm thinking it's just the coincidental onset of a cold. Or Ebola. Cause you never know. Now I have to hunt down whoever gave me this cold/Ebola and kill them, since that's a proportional response. (I just heard one of the admins coughing, so he and my MIL (who's had a cold since Rosh Hashanah) are now the prime suspects).

Speaking of the lack of proportional responses, my MIL and SIL seem bound and determined to keep me in the middle of their never-ending battle, with each complaining about the other to me. I think they are both acting like immature hotheads, and I mean that in the most diplomatic way possible. I do think that each of them would benefit from actually learning the lesson that it's possible to convey the same message in many different ways, some more offensive than others. Given what I think is the generalized lack of understanding of conversational and social cues from undiagnosed and untreated Asperger's going on here, it's unlikely that either will learn this lesson, and that both people will invariably select the most offensive statement to use on any given occasion.

In other news, as I discussed with Calliope, LJ and Mel the other day, I'm now having nightmares related to my worries about SIL and her ~~crazy~~ ~~intolerant~~ very strong opinions on ~~everything~~ hand washing and the fact that her immediate family does not use any antibacterial products (which I'm OK with) and does not wash their hands with soap (which I'm not OK with). One of the bloggers on Who Wants to Know recently did a post on these signs that you hang on a stroller or car seat to discourage random people with unwashed hands from touching the baby. A little extreme? Perhaps. Would SIL respect the sign or my requests? Given her previous behavior, that's a bit doubtful. Suggestions for how to handle this would be appreciated.

Best Wishes for the New Year

noreply@blogger.com (Jendeis) — Wed, 08 Sep 2010 18:02:00 +0000

After taking a realistic look (brought on by a vent of crazy) at the list of what I was going to make for the holidays and the list of what I would be able to make for the holidays, I severely pared down my cooking to-do list. (Let us not mention that I now have ingredients for the former list sitting in my pantry -- maybe I'll cook some more next week). Thank goodness that both my mother and MIL are understanding women whose price is beyond rubies.

Just wanted to take a moment before tonight to wish everyone a sweet and happy new year. The poem below always moves me, so I like to include it each year in my new year greetings.

In the new year which now begins, these are my wishes for you:

May you experience no earthquakes, no hurricanes, no floods, and no dinnertime phone solicitations.
And if they come, may you have a flashlight, a radio, a cell phone, water, food, and a siddur [prayer book] ready, just in case.

May you see a good play, hear a great opera, and see no flashing police lights behind you.

May strangers greet you with smiles, and little children with sticky kisses.

May you have enough wealth to be able to give to tzedakah [charity], and enough left over to provide you with necessities:

May you have bread to eat and cake as well,

May you have a roof over your head and clothing to wear,
And may you help provide them for the hungry, the homeless and the ragged.

May your stocks come back,
And may your bank stay open,
And may your interest rate fall,
And may the IRS leave you a full 30% of what you earn to call your own.

May you banish all thoughts and conversations about the coming elections
For these next ten days,
So that you avoid fights with members of your family and your friends,
And may you remember that, no matter who is elected,
According to Hebrew National,
They all have to answer to a Higher Authority.

May you forgive the candidates for what they say about each other,
And may you remember that no one is as perfect as he claims to be,
And no one is as terrible as his opponent claims he is,
And forget the promises that they all make -- because they will, as soon as they are elected.

May you be able to decipher your electric bill, your telephone bills, your credit card bill, and your income tax forms,
And the tiny, tiny print at the bottom of all these documents,
Which says in essence that they don't mean what is written above in big print.

May you live long enough to be able to drive automobiles which do not run on fossil fuels.
And may this happen before you become an old fossil yourself.

May those of us who drive SUVs be blessed with enough wealth
To be able to fill them with gasoline enough,
To get to the corner store and back,
And may we not have to choose between having enough money with which to buy gas with which to get to the grocery store,
And having enough money with which to buy groceries when we get there.
And may our children, for the sake of whom we bought these vehicles in the first place
Never yell or fight but sit quietly buckled up, with their hands folded,
And never once ask us: Are we there yet?

May you learn how to control your television set,
And may you learn to cope with all the new buttons on the controls,
And may there be something worth watching when you finally figure out how to start your TV.

May neither you, nor your computer, ever be infected by a virus.

May peace reign over Israel,
And may its children not have to sleep in bomb shelters any longer,
And may all of its leaders, like Natan Sharansky, be people who have gone to prison BEFORE they ascended to high office, and not afterwards.

May the world become safe to live in for all of G-D's children,
And may some parents learn that it is not necessary to strap explosives onto the bodies of their children in order to attain paradise,
But that instead paradise can be found here on earth, if people will only learn to live together in peace.

May you stop rushing long enough to realize
How blessed we are
To be able to enjoy this amazing planet on which we live,
And may we try hard not to spoil it.

And whether you pray in the words of the machzor [a Hebrew prayer book],
Or in your own words,
May you feel the presence of G-D around you,
And may you love your G-D, with all your heart, and all your soul, and all your might,
And may you know that G-D loves you too,
And may G-D give you a shana tova u'metukah,
A good and a sweet new year.

Amen.
--Rabbi Jacob Pressman

50/50

noreply@blogger.com (Jendeis) — Mon, 30 Aug 2010 23:04:00 +0000

Dizziness and nausea started last night and continued all through most of the day today. Blech. I'll mention it to my OB when I see her tomorrow, but she had told me that it was possible that the nausea might come back, so I'm not sure there's much to do beyond taking some Zofran if I need to. (Also, her office called me today to let me know that the copy of my files was ready for pickup. Yay!)

On the good side though, I was able to start cooking for the High Holidays. Yay me! I mixed together two batches of MyMahtha's Honey Walnut Coin Cookies and put them in the freezer. I'll defrost the dough and bake off the cookies next week.

I Heart Lists

noreply@blogger.com (Jendeis) — Fri, 27 Aug 2010 19:15:00 +0000

Because I just can't go into how infuriating my OB's office is (current threat level: firebombing = proportional response), I present you with a List of The New Classics as seen on books i done read. I've probably done this before, but I heart lists.

If there's any that I haven't read that you recommend, let me know!

THE NEW CLASSICS

~~1. The Road , Cormac McCarthy~~

~~2. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, J.K. Rowling~~
~~3. Beloved, Toni Morri~~son
4. The Liars' Club, Mary Karr
5. American Pastoral, Philip Roth
6. Mystic River, Dennis Lehane
~~7. Maus, Art Spiegelman~~
8. Selected Stories, Alice Munro
9. Cold Mountain, Charles Frazier
10. The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle, Haruki Murakami
~~11. Into Thin Air, Jon Krakauer~~
12. Blindness, José Saramago
13. Watchmen, Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons
14. Black Water, Joyce Carol Oates
15. A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius, Dave Eggers
~~16. The Handmaid's Tale, Margaret Atwood~~
17. Love in the Time of Cholera, Gabriel García Márquez
18. Rabbit at Rest, John Updike
19. On Beauty, Zadie Smith
~~20. Bridget Jones's Diary, Helen Fielding~~
~~21. On Writing, Stephen King~~
22. The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao, Junot Díaz
23. The Ghost Road, Pat Barker
24. Lonesome Dove, Larry McMurtry
~~25. The Joy Luck Club, Amy Tan~~
26. Neuromancer, William Gibson
27. Possession, A.S. Byatt
28. Naked, David Sedaris
29. Bel Canto, Anne Patchett
30. Case Histories, Kate Atkinson
~~31. The Things They Carried, Tim O'Brien~~
32. Parting the Waters, Taylor Branch
33. The Year of Magical Thinking, Joan Didion
~~34. The Lovely Bones, Alice Sebold~~
35. The Line of Beauty, Alan Hollinghurst
36. Angela's Ashes, Frank McCourt
37. Persepolis, Marjane Satrapi
38. Birds of America, Lorrie Moore
39. Interpreter of Maladies, Jhumpa Lahiri
40. His Dark Materials, Philip Pullman
41. The House on Mango Street, Sandra Cisneros
42. LaBrava, Elmore Leonard
43. Borrowed Time, Paul Monette
44. Praying for Sheetrock, Melissa Fay Greene
45. Eva Luna, Isabel Allende
46. Sandman, Neil Gaiman
47. World's Fair, E.L. Doctorow
~~48. The Poisonwood Bible, Barbara Kingsolver~~
49. Clockers, Richard Price
50. The Corrections, Jonathan Franzen
51. The Journalist and the Murderer, Janet Malcom
52. Waiting to Exhale, Terry McMillan
~~53. The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay, Michael Chabon~~
54. Jimmy Corrigan, Chris Ware
55. The Glass Castle, Jeannette Walls
56. The Night Manager, John le Carré
~~57. The Bonfire of the Vanities, Tom Wolfe~~
58. Drop City, TC Boyle
59. Krik? Krak! Edwidge Danticat
~~60. Nickel & Dimed, Barbara Ehrenreich~~
61. Money, Martin Amis
62. Last Train To Memphis, Peter Guralnick
63. Pastoralia, George Saunders
64. Underworld, Don DeLillo
65. The Giver, Lois Lowry
66. A Supposedly Fun Thing I’ll Never Do Again, David Foster Wallace
~~67. The Kite Runner, Khaled Hosseini~~
68. Fun Home, Alison Bechdel
69. Secret History, Donna Tartt
70. Cloud Atlas, David Mitchell
71. The Spirit Catches You and You Fall Down, Ann Fadiman
72. The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time, Mark Haddon
~~73. A Prayer for Owen Meany, John Irving~~
~~74. Friday Night Lights, H.G. Bissinger~~
75. Cathedral, Raymond Carver
76. A Sight for Sore Eyes, Ruth Rendell
77. The Remains of the Day, Kazuo Ishiguro
~~78. Eat, Pray, Love, Elizabeth Gilbert~~
~~79. The Tipping Point, Malcolm Gladwell~~
80. Bright Lights, Big City, Jay McInerney
81. Backlash, Susan Faludi
~~82. Atonement, Ian McEwan~~
83. The Stone Diaries, Carol Shields
84. Holes, Louis Sachar
85. Gilead, Marilynne Robinson
~~86. And the Band Played On, Randy Shilts~~
87. The Ruins, Scott Smith
88. High Fidelity, Nick Hornby
89. Close Range, Annie Proulx
~~90. Comfort Me With Apples, Ruth Reichl~~
91. Random Family, Adrian Nicole LeBlanc
92. Presumed Innocent, Scott Turow
93. A Thousand Acres, Jane Smiley
94. Fast Food Nation, Eric Schlosser
95. Kaaterskill Falls, Allegra Goodman
~~96. The Da Vinci Code, Dan Brown~~
97. Jesus’ Son, Denis Johnson
98. The Predators' Ball, Connie Bruck
99. Practical Magic, Alice Hoffman
~~100. America (the Book), Jon Stewart/Daily Show~~

More on Records and EFM Stuff

noreply@blogger.com (Jendeis) — Thu, 19 Aug 2010 18:46:00 +0000

So, I didn't have to get all lawyer-y on my doc's office - I just asked if a letter requesting my records for my own use would be sufficient, and they said yes. Thank goodness. I faxed in that letter yesterday afternoon, and I plan to follow up with them first thing tomorrow morning. (I'll be picking up the records myself and delivering them by hand to the midwives' office to avoid any screw ups. Well, to avoid screw ups by other people -- never discount my own ability to mess things up). After getting off the phone, I basked in my utter rebelness, did a victory dance and told my assistant that "I fight for the forces of justice and goodness."

In answer to a few commenters' questions regarding the availability of a compromise with my doc, unfortunately, there really isn't one. My doc wants me to be on continuous monitoring from the second that I walk in the hospital doors. She wasn't even thrilled with the idea of my getting off of the monitor for bathroom breaks, let alone only being on the monitor for 10 or 20 minutes out of every hour. Also, as I mentioned yesterday, at my hospital, if you're on the monitor, you're in the bed, and that's that.

I've got some issues with the whole idea of continuous monitoring in general (e.g., the monitors are notoriously inaccurate, and are even more so for overweight women), but am willing to do continuous monitoring with a wireless system, that would enable me to move freely during labor, while giving my care provider the information that they would like.

Hopefully, this will all work itself out in the coming days.

A Change Is Gonna Come - We Think

noreply@blogger.com (Jendeis) — Wed, 18 Aug 2010 17:50:00 +0000

I saw my doc on Monday for my 30-week (yikes!) appointment. Everything looks good, and I even managed to lose 4 lbs. The weight loss is likely due to a slight return of nausea over the past two-week period. My doc had warned me previously that this could occur in women who've had hyperemesis and that I should take the Zofran pills on an as-needed basis. Most of my nausea was eased by a cup of tea and longer naps; there was really only one day where I needed the Zofran to get me out of the cycle.

I also went over our preferences for the birth with my doc. JD and I are both hoping to have as "natural" a birth as possible, i.e., one that is as unmedicated as possible. Our doc was mostly willing to work within our preferences, but absolutely balked on the question of external electronic fetal monitoring (EFM). Apparently, the policy of our hospital and of our doctor (who only works out of this one hospital) is to have the mother on continuous EFM from the time she walks in. At our hospital, this means that mom cannot get out of bed while she's in labor. (Other hospitals have the capability to do wireless EFM, so that moms can move around, change positions, and even take a bath while remaining monitored; it's just that our hospital does not have this capability).

In our research and through our Bradley Method classes, JD and I have learned techniques to cope with labor and almost all involve being able to move freely and change positions as needed to encourage an easier labor and easier delivery. It seems like we're at a deal breaker with our doctor, which just stinks. If our doc delivered at any other hospital in the area, we could go on the wireless EFM and that would be fine with me. But we can't, so it's time to investigate other options, even at this late stage in the game.

I contacted a local midwifery practice that delivers at a hospital only 30 or so minutes from us. The nurse was pretty sure that they'd be able to take me on; I just have to go through a phone consult with one of the midwives to make sure that I'm not high-risk for their practice (I'm not).

Once that's done, they'll want me to meet all of the midwives in the practice, and I need to make sure that I get my records transferred over at least 3 business days before they meet with me. The nurse highly recommended that I call my doc's office to inquire about their policy for transferring my records and the doc's office manager said, "Well, you have to give us at least 30 days, although we usually get it done before that." WHAT?! 3 days vs. 30 days. After looking at my records though, the office manager said it shouldn't take really long to get them together, since I only started with the practice during this pregnancy.

Still, before they start copying the records, they need a letter from me releasing me from their care. I'm not ready to do that yet, because I don't know if the midwives will take me on.

I also didn't want my doc to know that I was thinking about changing practices until after the decision was made and I could write a letter explaining that I loved her, but that the EFM issue was a deal breaker for me (maybe this would give her leverage with the hospital). This stinks.

I think I may have to get a little lawyer-y with the office manager and tell her I want a copy of my medical records for my personal records. It's called HIPPAA, dude, I'm pretty sure I'm allowed to get my files cause they're MY files.

Anybody have any other ideas or experience in dealing with this?

Darth Vader GPS

noreply@blogger.com (Jendeis) — Sat, 14 Aug 2010 17:33:00 +0000

(H/T to We Are THAT Family)

Shitteth Fanneth Meeth

noreply@blogger.com (Jendeis) — Fri, 13 Aug 2010 16:03:00 +0000

Note Bene: everything is fine with the baby, and will be fine with me once I knock some heads.

I have tons and tons to post, but, as I think the title subtly hints, things are a bit crazed 'round these parts, specifically in the job sphere. It involves the always pleasant People Who Hate Me and their sidekicks, People Who Are Freakin' Stupid and Need to Learn to Do Their Jobs. See, if you don't tell me about something really important that needs to go in a document, I won't know it needs to go in said document and won't include it. So, when you start yelling at me about the missing clauses, I can reference my 10 EMAILS TO YOU REQUESTING RELEVANT INFO. Bums.

Heart Cake

noreply@blogger.com (Jendeis) — Fri, 06 Aug 2010 14:50:00 +0000

In honor of the 300th (well, really 200th) edition of the Friday Roundup, Mel has asked everyone to post a cake photo and talk about what the ALI community means to you.

I consider myself truly blessed to have found this community and to have you in my life, and to share in your lives. Blogging has served as a needed outlet for my stress, anxieties and depression related to our IF struggles, and it has been my readers and bloggy friends who have helped me to weather the storms and who have celebrated with me during happy times.

I fell in love with this heart cake by Amanda at I Am Baker when I first saw it, and hope one day to have the mad skillz to bake it. (For anyone interested in doing so, Amanda has a tutorial on how to do so here).

Please join the party at Mel's by posting your own cake and/or commenting on one of the blogs in the Roundup!

Overachiever

noreply@blogger.com (Jendeis) — Thu, 05 Aug 2010 14:41:00 +0000

This week, my doc sent me in for an estimated fetal weight scan. (Acause of the two bellays, fundal height measurements aren't exactly accurate). The result? This kid is in the 91st percentile for weight, at an estimated 3 lbs., 6 oz. at 28 weeks. My mom said her grandchild is an overachiever.

If the baby maintains this rate of growth, we're looking at about a 9 lb. baby. Yes, I am growing the next Alex Ovechkin.

This large size (assuming that these estimates are accurate, many times they are not) doesn't bother me and I was not all that surprised. I'm large and was a bigger baby (over 8 lbs.) and my siblings were both bigger babes as well (sis was the same as me; brother was over 9 lbs). My only concern here is that I not be pushed into an unnecessary induction or c-section just because of my weight or the weight of the baby. I'd greatly prefer to have labor start on its own and have an unmedicated birth. Obviously, if me or the baby is in danger, we do what's necessary, even if that includes meds and/or a c-section. I plan to sit down with my doc when I see her in 2 weeks, to discuss our preferences and how that will work with her practices and that of the hospital.

The good news is I've really been trying to do all that I can do to help us have that unmedicated birth that we want. I've been walking every day and doing my Bradley-recommended exercises most days. I've been pretty good at getting the right amount of sleep. I'm drinking lots of water. I'm doing really well at controlling my portions and making sure I'm eating good foods (ex: I'm having yogurt almost every day which has really helped with the heartburn). I passed the 1-hour glucose test, yay! I successfully limited my weight gain to 3 lbs. this month, yay!

This month, I'd like to keep my exercise up and work on doing the Bradley exercises every day. I'm going to work on making sure I include a 20-minute nap at lunchtime, so I'm not worried about falling asleep on the drive home from work. I'm also going to try and get back to meal planning, to make sure that I'm eating a good variety of proteins and fruits and veggies. (Yeah, including grains has never been a problem for me).

Last, and definitely not least...JD got a job! He started this week and is feeling very positive about what he'll be doing and the people with whom he'll be working. We're both hoping that this job will be a good fit for him -- something that will be more of a longer-term situation.

I'm hoping to post more often than I have been, not only about the baby and how we're doing with cleaning out what will be the baby's room, but also with regard to how we're doing with routines, meals and exercise. Thank you all for sticking with me through these lean-posting times.

27 Weeks

noreply@blogger.com (Jendeis) — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 01:02:00 +0000

Just wanted to update on some stuff, so this post will be all over the place.

So, last week I thought I was having preterm labor, but it turns out that I was just on the toilet for so long that my digestive system started cramping. I'm figuring (from the soreness) that I did the equivalent of 13 million situps, so you know, it's all good.

My mom and BFF have been helping me declutter my house most weekends and we've really been accomplishing a lot. No before pictures, just imagine Theo Huxtable's room when he was in junior high. I now have access to a sliding glass door that had been blocked with stuff, and we can now see carpet in the bedrooms! We threw out a ton of stuff and were able to donate many huge bags of clothing and household items to Goodwill. Mom and BFF each deserve gold stars!

Work has been really stressful lately, as I try to complete Mission Impossible. Today I just completely broke down in tears and it was hard for me to calm down. I think that I have been trying to do too much all by myself, and I really needed to ask for help earlier. I now have some more help on the project and my boss was able to relax on the deadline when he realized just how much work this mission comprises.

I gained 6 pounds from Month 5 to Month 6, and my doc really wanted me to make sure that I not gain as much in subsequent months. I've been trying to be really conscious of my food choices and increase my activity level, and I think I've only gained 2 lbs this month! Hopefully, I can keep making good choices the rest of the pregnancy.

Tomorrow is my sister's birthday! Yay her! We got her an awesome gift, if I do say so myself; I just hope that it arrives on time. :)

70,000

noreply@blogger.com (Jendeis) — Thu, 15 Jul 2010 13:19:00 +0000

No, it's not the number of days since I posted. It's the mileage on my car right now. I was able to watch it turn from 69,999 to 70,000 on my way to work this morning. It was a thrill. :)

Nothing much going on here; I think that's a good thing. Currently at 25 weeks and baby has decided that if it presses its fist as hard as it can against the side of my belly for an extended period of time, that it will "break on through to the other side." So far the baby isn't listening to me, so I may be giving birth to a teenager. Here's some bullet points for your amusement:

-Last weekend, we went up to see JD's family and, true to form, my SIL could not keep herself from making some truly obnoxious and hateful statements. As I told JD later, this is sad in two ways. First, the family is close and I'd love to have a good relationship with SIL. I'm settling for guarded but cordial, and the fact that I'm settling stinks. Second, if it were any other person, I'd just have nothing to do with them, but because this is JD's sister, I can't just totally avoid her or think of her as having died in some freak napalming incident. That stinks too.

-This week, JD and I visited our preferred choice for a daycare center and everything went well. Something had to, eventually, right? I mean, it's the law of averages.

-Today, the junk company is coming to take away some large pieces of furniture that were living in what will be the baby's room. The company recycles or donates the vast majority of the stuff that they collect, so I felt good knowing that the usable things (as opposed to JD's desk made of sawdust which won't last a move of 2 inches) wouldn't just end up in a landfill. I would've preferred to have Goodwill or a similar organization get the stuff directly, but the charities in my area won't pickup from an apartment. I figure I'm paying for the convenience of getting it all out at one time.

-I also had a freak out this week while researching pediatricians. Saw the schedule for recommended vaccinations and my eyes almost fell out of my head. It really seems like a lot of shots. I got The Vaccine Book from the library, so I'll be going through that to start some initial research. I'm also going to schedule an info session with the pediatrician group near us that I've found. I'm pro-vaccine, particularly considering that the baby will be in daycare, but I'm concerned about the multiple shots for multiple diseases in very short periods of time. Opinions/suggestions welcome here.

-The other thing I've started working on this week is getting us and The Boy signed up for some training on introducing dog and baby. I still need to make appointments for the 1-hour glucose test (hooray) and a fetal scan at 28 weeks to get an estimated weight. This last scan was recommended by my doctor as measuring fundal height on me (and my upper and lower bellies) won't be at all accurate for judging the size of the baby.

I'm being swamped at work, so I'll end this here. Hope y'all are doing well.

Untethered

noreply@blogger.com (Jendeis) — Wed, 23 Jun 2010 23:25:00 +0000

I'm writing this post without my constant companion of the last few months, my sub-Q pump providing anti-nausea meds. Over the past several weeks, I had been weaning off the pump, hoping that the hyperemesis would have abated this late in the pregnancy.

My weaning went slower than the averages, driven by a few bouts of severe nausea from which I had to recover before dialing down the meds another level. One of these bouts happened last week during a tour of our hospital's maternity ward, where I passed out and, eventually, vomited. It sucked to pass out, but if you're gonna have to do that, where else but in the hospital? We were able to do a "test drive." :) (The nurses checked out my blood pressure, which was fine, and the baby's heart rate, also fine. After a consultation with my OB, we concluded that I hadn't eaten enough prior to the tour, and that the heat and humidity was getting to me. I was discharged a couple hours after I checked in).

My insurance company had been working actively to get me off the pump since I reached 12 weeks, and had only dialed up the shrieking in the past few days. Now, at least, getting me off the pump makes sense, since: a) my hyperemesis has abated, b) my nausea is, for the most part, under control, c) I'm no longer having issues with dehydration, since I'm able to eat and drink, and d) my weight has finally stabilized after a way too rapid weight loss in my first trimester (total weight loss of 45 pounds in 12 weeks; 35 of those happened in only 4 weeks).

So, I'm off the pump. It's pretty cool, and I'm cautiously optimistic that I'll be able to stay off of it. :)

Thanks A**hats for Proving My Point

noreply@blogger.com (Jendeis) — Tue, 15 Jun 2010 23:24:00 +0000

Way to go fat-hating anonymous commenters! Many thanks for proving my point on my last post.

I welcome all constructive comments, from those that point out that my health might be improved by weight loss to those that disagree with my political stances. When it comes to needlessly mean and unconstructive comments, however, I draw the line. At the very least, if you're going to insult me, have the stugatz (i.e., the balls) enough to sign your name. Don't just hide your m.u.d. (made-up drama) behind an "anonymous" shield.

From now on, this blog will not allow anonymous comments. Want to comment? Sign in with any account that Blogger allows (e.g., Blogger, Google ID, Open ID, Wordpress, etc.).

People Who Hate Me: The Fat Haters

noreply@blogger.com (Jendeis) — Thu, 10 Jun 2010 01:48:00 +0000

Welcome back to another edition of People Who Hate Me, now with more hate. Who's hating me this week? The incompetent sonographer (we'll call her "Dum Dum") and her azhat supervisory doc at the testing site for my week 20 scan. Why? Because I'm fat, have bones and require the Zofran pump for my hyperemesis.

As you know, I'm receiving Zofran through a subcutaneous pump. Here's how it works (in non-technical language):

1) Infusion site: This is a plastic disc about the size of a quarter that sticks to my belly. The disc has a spiked, fixed tube on it that goes into my skin (hence: subcutaneous).

2) Tube: The disc is connected to a thin, 2 ft. long tube that attaches to a syringe of meds on the pump.

3) Pump: The pump is about the size of a remote control and you wear it in a purse-like bag with an arm strap. You put a syringe of meds in the top of the pump and the pump's computer pushes on the syringe plunger, thus pushing the meds through the tube and into me, stopping me from doing my never-ending Exorcist imitation.

So, I can't stop the meds and remove the site for you, Dum Dum. You are not worth continuous vomit. You'll have to work around it. This totally threw her.

Also throwing her was that I was fat. Now, I am aware that extra padding does make it a little more difficult to do a sonogram; it does not, however, make a scan impossible. In addition, I don't think it was my fat, I think it was Dum Dum's lack of knowledge of anatomy. See, no matter how much you shove on my hip bone with the transducer, the bone will not move out of the way. It's bone, that's how that works.

After Dum Dum finished the scan, we were sent back to speak with her azhat supervisory doctor. He told us, "Your baby is really big. It's something we're worried about and you should be too. You're going to have to have a c-section because you're so big and because the baby is so big. In fact, we've included a note on our report that the scan was technically difficult due to your fatness."

Fine, asshole, but is the baby okay? Are all the parts in the right place? Are all the parts there that are supposed to be there? Oh, yes. The baby is perfectly healthy. F-ck you, you prick.

Thank goodness I was seeing my doctor that afternoon anyways. She's awesome and was like, "don't listen to that asshole, he doesn't know what he's talking about. You're measuring a few days ahead, the baby is a little larger than average (baby is 14 oz.) and you're not automatically going to do anything. You're only at week 20. The baby is fine. Your weight looks great and your blood pressure is fine. We can all calm down." I love my doctor.

19 Weeks and the Ongoing Saga That Is JD's Search for a Job

noreply@blogger.com (Jendeis) — Thu, 03 Jun 2010 16:13:00 +0000

Nothing really going on here, so I haven't felt that much motivation to update. My nurse insists that what I think is gas is actually the baby. I think that at least half of what I think is gas is, in fact, actually gas. Who knows?

I'm still on the Zofran pump, but I'm in the middle of weaning off of it. I seem to be doing ok on the weaning, so hopefully that continues and I can get off the pump soon.

JD is still without employment or a plan. Some history: JD told me (in response to questioning, at some point in the last year) that he was happiest and most fulfilled in terms of work when he was programming, as opposed to the more computer administration stuff that he's been doing for the last several years. To me, that says that what JD should be doing is programming. Find the work that makes you happy.

Now, in our area, in order to find a job as a programmer, you need to know and have experience in Java. JD does not have this. Why? 1) He says that Java is a stupid, inefficient language. 2) He doesn't want to go to school anymore, he doesn't want to be graded, he doesn't want to be "judged" (his words).

Here's my trying to answer as rationally as possible to his BS:
1) If all you speak is Latin and everyone else in the world speaks English, wouldn't it make sense to learn English so that you could communicate with others? I told JD that it was as if his college degree was in being a Roman gladiator. Well, there are no more jobs available for Roman gladiators, so you've gotta do something about that.

2) There are few jobs or even kinds of jobs available that don't require some type of continuing education or need to learn new skills or improve upon current skills in your life. Really, I think that if you foreclose any job that would require new learning, you limit yourself to retail. I don't think that JD would enjoy or even be successful at a job in retail, but assuming that's what he wants to do, fine. Now, apply for jobs.

After meeting with his therapist yesterday, JD came up with another reason for not taking a class: "It's not that you need to know Java, it's that you need to have work experience with Java."

OK, well, you're not going to get any work experience with Java if you don't freakin' know it, so why don't we cross that bridge when we come to it?

He seemed yesterday as if he was on the precipice of agreeing to sign up for classes. This morning, he said that he would be doing job searching today and when I asked about the classes, he said that he was still thinking about it. When I asked what his therapist had said, JD told me that his therapist thinks he should "volunteer and network to figure out what he [JD] wants to do." This is utter BS. JD knows what he wants to do. He wants to do nothing all day long.

As my Fairy Godmother once told me, "The problem with responding to JD in a rational manner is that he is not in his rational brain. This is all emotional stuff for him." But what do I do? Rant and scream and cry? That doesn't change his lazy, irresponsible ass either!

Any suggestions/comments you might have would be appreciated.