Serendipity Happens

How to Send Ants Marching home Without a Total Massacre

2014-08-01T19:36:00.002-07:00

I've been hearing a lot about it the ant invasion of 2014. Apparently, there are quite a few humans complaining that the ants have taken over their homes. I think it's especially prevalent where we live, which happens to currently be in a drought. Ants fascinate me. They are social insects, which means they have families, care for their young, and live in large communities. They are also, by observation, the most industrious, innovative critters I have ever seen. Ants carry out strategies for food gathering, and display great teamwork. I'm thrilled to learn that ants can be redirected with natural remedies like essential oils and spices. I live as best I can in harmony with all beings. That said, most folks have been reaching for the Raid for may years, trying to kill all the pesky critters that get in the way of their peaceful living spaces. I stopped using pesticides long ago, and although it may seem obvious, I'm about to tell you why.

Pesticides don't just kill insects. They kill people. Sometimes it’s a slow, painful death like cancer; or it can be fast, like an immediate respiratory paralysis, coma, or heart attack. I have a young child. Even if I didn't give a damn about myself, there's my beautiful tiny human to love and protect.

Pesticides deplete and damage our precious soil, get into our food supply, and slowly kill us some more. This can lead to the death of our planet. Earth is already dying, so let's at least treat Her well while we are still here. I just learned that our soils have had a 76% decrease of trace minerals in 51 years, all due to pesticide use (www.havahart.com).

I love insects and all other living beings. I want us all to be safe and healthy, living harmoniously with Mother Nature.

Humans are not the only ones who live here. People are acting like we own the place, but really, the ants were here first. They have been around for over 100 million years. We invaded their home, not the other way around. I can come up with plenty of other instances where human beings took it upon themselves to decide where everyone lives. Just think of our sad, hungry mountain lions, coyotes, and bears. How about possums, raccoons, rats, and mice? Is there any need to mention the many tribes of Native peoples who were living in peace before the new arrivals got greedy and just invaded their space? Anyway, I'm sure you get my point.

So, here's the good news. Are you ready for it? There are plenty of ways we can all live together in peace. Here are just a few to get you started:

1) Eat only plant based food. Yes, that's right, I'm talking Vegan with a capital "V". I plan to write more of my journey soon, as I'm newly vegan and have so much to share! By only plant-based foods, I mean no animal anything. Which brings me to my next point.

2) Buy cruelty free, which means the company pledges that there has been no testing or any harm done to animals. Many companies have either stopped testing on animals or have always had humane practices. We can choose our hair and skins care products, clothing, shoes, etc. wisely, looking for labels with a running bunny or a cruelty free statement. Of course, I'm also referring to anything made of leather, wool, lanolin, or gelatin. These all come from animals, so please buy cotton, bamboo, or any acrylic material.

3) So, what about the ants? How does one not kill them? They are everywhere. And when they are crawling on your baby in the middle of the night, what other solution do you have but to squish them all? Well, there is hope. It starts with prevention. There are some easy and compassionate ways that are readily available in your kitchen cabinet, or at your local health food store. In searching for natural remedies that didn't kill the ants, I found these:

*peppermint oil or leaves
*clove oil
*cinnamon
*cayenne pepper or paprika
*salt
*citrus (Note: Please don’t spray directly on the ants or they will die)
*coffee grounds
*cream of tartar
*garlic cloves

http//www.peta.org/living/humane-home/tips-humane-nontoxic-ant-control/

Just sprinkle or spray any of this stuff, and the ants will go marching on. Most of these remedies smell yummy, too. That’s a definite bonus. Or, you could just decide to coexist, like I have done with some of my spider and silver fish friends. The others can go live in the weeds, via my hand (yes, I am ok with picking them up), a jar, or paper towel transport. I am one of those people who delights in the scurry of a possum with her wee babes, and giggle at the swish of an adorable skunk’s tail. One of my first memories was that of feeding the ants some breadcrumbs on their giant anthill that I could barely reach. I lived in the Sierra Nevada Mountains, and our ants were huge. Perhaps I am a bit biased. I had a pet tarantula named Alma, for goodness sake. I can assert, however, that I am not alone when it comes to love. We all have the capacity for loving kindness toward each other, and we don’t need to leave out our nonhuman companions. So, make an insect your friend today. Compassion rules.

The Best Way to Clean Up Baby Puke

2013-04-06T22:22:00.000-07:00

I don't get grossed out easily, so I'm not sure why baby puke gets to me so much. I've cleaned up lots of poop, and have been peed on countless times, which doesn't phase me at all. I have a cat with very stinky, runny poop and I can even handle that, to a point. But I had to try hard to keep from gagging when I rinsed out her vomit. It was almost as bad as touching a raw tomato's innards. And I don't "do" raw tomatoes. Eww. That said, I executed and carried out the best action plan possible in this sort of situation. Here are some tips to make it easier for anyone faced with the dire task of wiping up puke. I made sure she threw up on the kitchen floor. This location is probably the most ideal, unlike the bedsheets at 3am. She must have remembered that incident and planned accordingly. Then I gave her a perfunctory wipe down and we walked away. The best way to solve a problem at this point is to avoid it. I actually had an urge to take care of it right away, but my daughter helped redirect me and I comforted her instead. Then I started her bath, wiped up the grossness into a pile and moved it to a kitchen corner. I suddenly had forgotten about her regurgitated food gibs laying in a lump on the floor. Fast forward to bedtime. After she fell asleep, I knew I had to take care of business, but thought nothing of it. I purposely ate a snack first. Who wants to deal with vomit right before eating anything? Then I finally took care of the mess by dumping the puke pieces in the toilet. I do not recommend this action, but it had to be done in our house or I'd clog the pipes. I rinsed out the cloths, and that's when it dawned on me that I'm touching slimy puke. I purposely told myself not to think about it. Whatever you do, don't keep thinking, "Ohhhh that's sooooo gross!" while you're in the midst of touching said gross thing. I put all the cloths outside, not fully rinsed but ready for the big winds to dry them out and make baby vomit a distant memory. My strategy included scooping the litter box and ending with washing dishes which is such a clean easy activity for me. Suddenly cat poop was not that bad. Now I'm much more relaxed and ever so grateful, for a clean house and a beautiful, healthy child. My baby girl is safe and resting quietly at this very moment, puke free. That wasn't so bad. I've definitely been through much worse in my life. I think I'm gonna be ok. ;)

Autumn has Fallen

2010-10-05T13:15:00.000-07:00

I love how the air starts to feel in October. Even in Santa Barbara, where it's often sunny & seventy degrees, the Autumnal equinox can surely be felt. There's a cool breeze, clouds promising rain, and an overall feeling that change is imminent.

Transitions have always felt refreshing to me. It's a chance to begin anew, try on new thoughts or do something differently than I have before. I am ready for more of that. Bring it on, I say.

When I reflect on what changes I want to make in my life, I immediately think of my kitchen. I have a huge clutter pile there, right next to my stove. I don't know why I use this particular spot to store all my ambiguous junk, but it is home for most of it. My other spot is on the coffee table. I have various unread books and copies of our local free paper, the Independent, strewn about haphazardly. Then I "organize" this pile by stacking all of it together. But I never really find a proper place for it. I even started putting my bills there. At least I have finally begun to pay them on time. This is progress. The big kitchen pile is smack dab in the middle of my prosperity corner. This is not a good sign, according to the feng shui book I have stashed there.

So, what's a single puppy mama to do? When I get home from hanging with teenagers all day, Benji needs a walk or some kind of undivided attention for at least an hour. Then I have that part time job over at Taffy's Pizza, or an AA meeting so I can even have a home in the first place. When I return home, I am ready to plop down in bed and snooze. Then there's the weekend. Don't even get me started. I barely have time for meetings and friends, let alone get to know some new people in my life. So, the pile remains. It even grows with time.

I've heard what I need to do in this type of situation. I need to set aside 15 minutes (or more if I can spare) to focus on clearing this clutter pile. Then, I need to find permanent homes for everything, and make a concerted effort to keep them in their place. After that, I can relax and enjoy a prosperous, clean home with potential for visitors (some of them potential mates, perhaps).

Now that I've written this, I can't back out of it. I have made a commitment. I vow to clear my clutter pile and live free. Yay me!

2010-05-26T21:13:00.000-07:00

This is my first raspberry of the season, & the first one grown by me! I ought to say it WAS the first, since I ate it already. It was delicious. Raspberries are my favorite fruit. And now, thanks to Chuy at our local farmer's market, I will have them all the time. He was kind enough to offer me a plant of my own last year for a small donation. I am ever so grateful. Yum.

Space Travel

2010-03-20T22:22:00.000-07:00

That's how I feel...like I am on a journey through space. Lately I've been wiggling my toes & pushing my feet down. My head is in the clouds, but my feet are definitely planted on the ground. At least they were the last time I checked. I liken my recent internal shift to being on a new planet, since I keep feeling like I've never been "here" before. I am in uncharted territory, & this is the first time it feels really good. I am not afraid. I am so excited about my adventure! Every day, I completely abandon myself to a power greater than myself to guide me on this journey. I am ready to allow life to open its doors & I am jumping in! Woo hoo!!!

What I've been Up to Lately...

2010-02-07T18:23:00.000-08:00

I've been cooking a LOT of soup. In the last 2 weeks, I've made 17 bean soup with a tomato broth base (sorta the consistency of chili), spicy chicken and white bean with potato soup, and a vegetarian Asian style soup with Thai spices (including some coconut milk). I made the last 2 soups in 2 days. I had to fight for room in the fridge, and get really creative with containers. Now I want to cook soup every week. Someone here in SB began a business I now wish I had thought of sooner. She calls it "Souperwoman". As some of you may know, I am Rockinsupergirl. I use this name for my email and all sorts of other places online, and it has gotten quite catchy. Now I like making soup. But I am not so sure about actually selling it. I really enjoy giving it away. I love watching the expression on the recipient's face as they savor each slurp. So I guess I am ok with sharing the name. I hope she is, 'cause this month, I am the real Souperwoman.

Avatar...

2010-01-21T21:04:00.000-08:00

is AWEsome! This is me with my dear friends, awaiting our 3D Avatar experience. I see you. :)

2010-01-19T20:17:00.000-08:00

Here is my Benji, the cutest, most wonderful doggie ever. When I took this photo, he was just 4 months old & living at a shelter called DAWG. He came home that day, which was March 29th, 2009; so we decided to make his birthday November 29th. He had a traumatic beginning, found on the side of the road in Lompoc with his sister & mother. They all got adopted. He has had a happy ending in a loving home in Santa Barbara.

There are many more sweet canine companions still waiting for a home. DAWG is open to the public on the weekends, or you can call for an appointment. The volunteers are so dedicated to helping the dogs adjust & stay comfortable. If you are not in a position to adopt, there are lots of opportunities to volunteer or foster a dog. For more info, please visit: http://www.sbdawg.org/

I Get What I Ask For

2010-01-19T19:47:00.000-08:00

I recently renewed my interest in photography. In fact, I'm rather obsessed with taking pictures of just about everything. About 2 weeks ago, I made an intention, "I make good money taking photos." Well...Just 2 days later, I found high quality photo paper on the side of the road only a block from my house! This is the fastest manifestation I have ever experienced.

This led me to take more action. I chatted with the photography teacher on our campus (I work at a high school). We got to talking about 32 mm cameras, since I have yet to get my much coveted digital SLR, but have an old school version. I asked her where I could find some film, since it's no longer readily available. She said it's now really expensive, but she gets it cheap so she offered to sell me some.

I took photography in high school. Back then we had actual dark rooms. I learned how to manipulate light & speed. I also appear to have already had the knack for good composition. Thus, I create masterpieces on film. Even when I currently use an outdated digital point & shoot, I can capture Nature's beauty & life happening. Although I am absolutely drooling over a camera like the Canon Eos digital SLR with 10.1 megapixels, I can handle kickin it old school for a bit longer. This is how I roll. Lol.

I'll post my wondrous works soon.

A Novel Idea

2010-01-17T21:37:00.001-08:00

Why don't I just tell you who I really am? Maybe I didn't know before. Perhaps that was the problem. Or I am just too prone to perfectionism to just let this ride. I have plenty of creative writing to share, & some of my old posts are noteworthy. Yet, I get the sense that I was hiding behind all those words. So many words. Most of my blogs were several paragraphs long. Truth is, I realize that none of you really care about all that. What most folks enjoy is hearing about the real deal.

It's late & it's raining. I am ready to cozy up in my bed. I love sleeping. I often recall my dreams. I write them down, & gain insight about my waking life. Sometimes I have prophetic dreams, where I predict future events. Other times I hope to God they aren't prophetic, since some really weird crap can go down inside my noggin at times. Anyway, it's time to go there & find out what's really going on. Good night all.

Z'ALL GOOD!

2009-08-19T20:27:00.000-07:00

Z'ALL GOOD! is a new, free publication, which offers all good news to Santa Barbara County. Uplifting stories, along with those of you interested in low cost advertising, are encouraged to join me. I will cheerfully accept all offers (from anywhere)...as long as the news is positive! Thank you & have an awesome day! :)

Feel free to visit our Facebook fan page by clicking on the title above. There is also a link on the bottom left corner. Thanks!

Gratitude List

2009-05-24T21:13:00.000-07:00

I am grateful for...

freedom

peace

honesty
recovery
friends
family
music
health
open mind
open space
humor
smiling
laughter
surrender
acceptance
empathy
intimacy
fertility
sleep
animals
nature
fitness
kids
communication
safety
sanity
clarity
compassion
creativity
respect
dignity
grace
support
guidance
direction

& LOVE...

If I already have a life, why do I need a second one?

2008-11-28T17:00:00.001-08:00

I just heard about this cyberworld called Second Life in my Media Lit class. Our professor shared a story of a couple who met in Second Life and got married in real life. Well, one day the wife saw the husband's Avatar (which is basically a little character that you pretend is you) sitting on a couch with another female avatar in Second Life. Now she has divorced him for cheating on him.

WTF?!

I had to stifle my uproarious laughter so as to not disturb the class. I have never heard of anything so tragically ridiculous. How sad that people can actually feel as though this virtual reality is truly "real life". It's one thing if he were discovered flirting in a chat room with another woman, since that is likened to flirting in person. But these avatars are not even real. *sigh*

I have an avatar. Her name is Serendipity and she "lives" in Yoville, which is a cyberworld available on Facebook. Although I, too, participate in such an activity, my grasp of reality remains strong. I know that Serendipity is just a bunch of pixels in a graphically created program on a friggin computer. "She" goes to a "factory" and earns her "coins" to buy "furniture". This is just a cartoon character that I find mildly amusing at best. Notice I don't even refer to it as "her". She is NOT REAL.

Technology is clearly leading our society astray, when a couple meets, marries, then breaks up based on activities in cyberspace. Human beings are yearning for a true connection, and technology keeps separating us from each other.

Consider online communities like Facebook, myspace and the like. These sites are supposedly intended to bring friends together, but I gotta tell ya that I see maybe a tenth of these folks in real life situations, mostly on an infrequent basis. My myspace page has about 200 + "friends" on it, and I know that about 3 of them are real friends. In fact, out of this group of faces on a page, I speak to one of them in person regularly. Otherwise, that is exactly what they are: faces on a page.

So I guess I am not surprised that their relationship didn't last. After all, they met each others' avatars, not each other. Healthy relationships include real, live meetings to get to know one another; not what clothes their avatars are wearing, but who they truly are as people. They were doomed from the start, using alter egos in graphic form to make a good impression.

If you are someone using an avatar to pick up guys/gals, just remember that a cartoon is make believe and we humans are flesh and blood. Real people cannot hide who they are, even if they try really hard. Besides, an avatar can't give snuggles and kisses like a real man or woman can. They can't comfort you when you are down, share in your joy, or raise your kids. You might wanna try taking a risk and going out into the world to find that special someone. Reality is far more exciting and wonderful than any fantasy world.

Use 3 Words

2008-09-29T14:00:00.000-07:00

I write things. I manipulate words. Experts advise practice. They suggest trilogies. Threes communicate concisely. This necessitates creativity. I recommend this. Use three words. Do it correctly. Notice the challenge? Keep work fresh. Keep it simple. Shorter is better. Sometimes we elaborate. Others will pontificate. I just write. Habitually I ramble. So trilogies help. Practice improves skill. Wordplay is chill. I use slang. That is okay. Whatever works today. Now I rhyme. I have time. Can you relate?

I choose wisely. Yet words flow. I need change. Growth is evident. Pain is immenent. Relief comes next. Joy will follow. Everything is connected. Our planet spins. Our stars shine. Babies are born. People grow up. I create imagery. Progress replaces perfection. Awareness succeeds reduction. Pain precedes growth. Sometimes we cry. We all die.

Keep it real. Live life fully. Spread peace around. Share your love. Enjoy the moment. Seize the day.

Tra la la LAH!

2008-06-13T18:11:00.000-07:00

“Shot through the heart, and you’re to blame. Baby, you give love…a bad name.”

My neighbor across the way has been singing again. Bon Jovi is not her usual, however. She is an opera singer.

I am privileged to listen to opera almost every night. This woman is apparently practicing for an upcoming performance. Although I do not typically welcome any loud noises while settling in and eventually drifting off to sleep, this is different. Her voice would never qualify as “noise”. She sounds so beautiful, I find myself opening my kitchen window and remaining quiet so as to get a taste of her arias. I am grateful to have my bathroom window open in her direction as well, so that she can sing me to sleep.

We have never met. I don’t even know where she lives. She has made me so relaxed, I forget that my other neighbors nearby have porch lights that could light up a football field, which might as well be shining directly into my bedroom.

She is MY opera singer. I am being serenaded by her sweet dulcet tones, and can almost feel the tension release upon hearing her first notes. I also have the tune called “Opera Singer” by Cake stuck in my head all the time now. So, when I am not home I often think of her. A part of me wishes for her to remain anonymous, so as to retain the mystery. Of course, I am also dying to put a face with the voice. For now, I will just enjoy my nightly concerto in the comfort of my adorable little home.

Earwigs Love Artichokes Too

2008-05-28T10:29:00.000-07:00

I love gardening. This season, I discovered that my artichoke plant was finally producing some beautiful thistles for my dining pleasure. I had a total of 4 awesome chokes in all. Well, I went on a road trip last week, having forgotten that I had a couple waiting for me. This was perfect timing. I had next to nothing in the fridge. I always like to have something green, and this qualify, even if they are not technically a vegetable.

Two nights ago, I steamed one, and decided to peel off the leaves beforehand. I usually just peel as I go, but I wanted to enjoy it without having to scoop out the heart. It was ready to eat. Yum. Sometimes I like to eat two at a time. This gives me more meat. I will tend to eat fast and furious, as if my life depended on it. I have been working on that. But still, I scarf my food down.

So…Even though I had pre-peeled, I hadn't noticed that some earwigs had decided to make this artichoke their home. I had boiled them along with my meal. One of the leaves I had eaten had one stuck to it. Ewww! Thankfully, it had been the leaf on the bottom of my stack, so I had not really eaten an earwig, but I was close.

Here's the deal. I am a lover of all living things. Correction: most living things. No matter how hard I try, I just cannot like the earwig. My last home was in a studio where it tended to get a little moist. I had a very large earwig infestation once that totally grossed me out. They were right outside my front door, and making their way inside. There were literally hundreds of them swarming at my doorstep. Those pincers creep me out, and the scales are reminiscent of cockroaches.

I am one of those people who carry a Daddy Long Legs out, gently laying them down on the porch. That is not the case with earwigs. I will step on them, flush them, whatever it takes to get them as far away from me as humanly possible.

Apparently, this time, I cooked them up as a delicacy.

Knowing my feelings about earwigs, I decided to try not to make too big of a deal out of this. I carefully inspected each artichoke leaf, remembering that the crunch I tasted was in fact the garlic in my butter and not a bug. This was challenging, but I got through it. The fact that the artichoke was absolutely delicious really helped.

Last night, I thoroughly rinsed my choke, peeled beforehand, AND looked at the leaves before devouring my feast. Luckily, there were no earwigs present in this one. Whew.

I survived a near earwig consumption, and did not have nightmares. There is a God.

Summer Break

2008-05-26T11:22:00.000-07:00

At the beginning of each summer break, I often feel a little out of control. School is officially over, so I know I have no plans, at least for a couple of weeks. I end up ditching my routine almost entirely and tend to stay up til the wee hours, complaining later about how I feel horrible being tired. So here I am at 10:35pm, at a crossroads. I could continue on the same self destructive path, known in some circles as a state of SLOTH. Or, I could change my behavior. Hmm.

Here's the rub: I am trying to loosen up a little. I am so attached to a certain routine, particular foods, etc, that I feel like I ought to shake things up a bit. But instead, I turn to meaningless internet activities when I have free time. I isolate in my kitchen, googling things like Pastor Britt (on You Tube), who I used to know as plain ole Britt, or Burt. I went to high school with him, and the last time I saw him in person, he was walking across our stage at graduation yelling "Burt don't surf!". Now he gives sermons at Reality Church in Carpinteria that are reminiscent of Baptist fire and brimstone with some sales pitch mixed in.

Anyway...the point is that all of this free time drives me crazy. I am stuck between overplanning and becoming one of those people who play guitar hero for 5 hours straight (just making that up, as a good example of what I am doing).

My road trip is another fine example of trying to mix things up, Michelle style. I took nearly every item of clothing I own (and wore only 2-3 outfits), all my regular foods in a cooler, and my favorite utensils and dishes. I loaded my car to the brim, including a guitar I never played, and a beach chair I never sat in. I drove 7-9 hours a day (!) to the weirdest places. Some were quite breathtaking, others were downright nasty. I visited my friend Rozanna and her family. That was ok. But other than that, what was my motive for taking a trip anyway? Well, I had time to kill and money burning a hole in my checking account. Why not stay in a motel near a meth smoker who yelled at his girlfriend about peeing in the bed, among other things. BTW, I smelled meth in the bathroom after my shower, and still smelled it on my nightie the next night. I was so grossed out! Other than the obvious entertainment factor for writing an interesting book, why did I endure such ridiculousness?

Well, because I needed something to do.*sigh*

Here's my solution: I will sign up for a class of interest, like meditation, yoga, or hiking. I will plan on attending said activity once a week. I will go to more meetings, and do more writing. I also need a part time job, so that ought to keep me sorta busy. And...I could call my friends more often. Lunch dates at Daily Grind would be very pleasant. Butterfly Beach is awesome, as always. My bald friend returns from New York soon. Hmm. I should discuss the bald one in another blog. Yes, I could write about him all day long, and into the night. Ha ha.

See, I have plenty to do. Wish me luck with that. I am gonna need it.

Going to Any Lengths With Macrame and christianity with a little c

2008-05-12T11:49:00.000-07:00

Sunday, May 11, 2008

I had a lovely Mother's Day dinner at the folks' house tonight. We talked for an hour or so about various topics, beginning with my sneaking out as a teen and ending with christian with a little "c".

So here's the story. I only snuck out of my bedroom window once. After that, my dad simply screwed it in place so I could not even open the window. I was probably around 15 years old at the time, just starting to get a little crazy, but not so bad that I got arrested or injured...yet. That was not until I became a legal adult. Anyway, it astounds me that I didn't just take out the screw. Maybe I was scared of getting busted for taking it out, or worried I wouldn't be able to replace it? It also surprises me that I didn't use the front door. That is all I remember doing, although the memory of the window came back upon reflection.

My mom asked me tonight if I remembered the bells on the front door. I was drawing a total blank. She told me that they nailed an old macrame wall hanging above the door (I remember it as a plant holder actually) so the bells attached to it would sound if I snuck out. I think this is hilarious, imagining some ugly macrame whatever thing over the door to deter their wayward teen from sneaking out. Instead of confrontation, they used tactics that would (conceivably) prevent me from leaving. Tonight, I referred to this as "natural consequences". They usually had no problem with confronting me about this kind of stuff, as I recall. But perhaps what I remember is young adulthood, when I bounced in and out of living there and just came and went through the front door. The bells were gone by then for sure.

The other challenge I had was when my mom would be awake, watching TV, after getting a call from a patient. She often would have trouble getting back to sleep, and was up at all hours at times, in the living room near the front door. In my 20s, I would do the walk of shame, reeking of booze at 3-4am, disappointed that I couldn't make food. When I could make something to nibble on, it was a full course meal of cheap elbow macaroni and tomato paste, seasoned with lots of spices.

My mom asked me where I went when I snuck out. As an adult, I told her a few likely places without hesitation. We usually went down to a place in Carpinteria (CA) called the Square, above the beach. Sometimes we went to State Park, and other times down to Shit Creek, as we so lovingly called the creek near our shores. Carpas, or Carp (Carpinteria for short) is a small town, so everyone knows everyone and everything you're doing. My parents didn't know the details, but I am sure they could have guessed that there was drinking involved. I am not sure if the vomiting and confusion set in until age 17, but there was definitely beer and boys. Actually, I was hanging with men in their late 20s, early 30s. Not such a good scene, in fact.

As I ought to get into my cozy bed soon, I will tell you about the christian with a little "c" part of this story. My mom was brought up Jewish, and does not practice any formal religion. Although we celebrate Passover and Hannukah, we are not orthodox and have never been to temple. My dad has a Christian upbringing, his parents following the King James Version of the Bible. I went to Protestant church as a wee child, but do not currently attend any congregation. My mom has claimed over the years to be an atheist. One time she did qualify as spiritual, however. I totally understand this. Anyway, we were discussing religion and all its aspects, all the way from Religious Serpent Handling in the Pentacostal churches of West Virginia, to ancient history, to Catholicism vs. all other Christian sects. Specifically, my mom was referring to those in the Catholic Church suffering through this life, with the belief that the after life will be better, and the others' belief in being good in this life.

I believe in the power of being completely in the present moment. The Universe, power greater than ourselves, or what some call God, takes care of the rest. I believe in consequences for our behavior, that either will serve us or will not. I want to remember daily that all beings want to be free from suffering and want happiness, that compassion for others is paramount.

That being said, my mom's closing thoughts on the subject were, "I believe in being christian with a little c. You know, living by the Ten Commandments." She was saying that a good life did involve some rules, but that all we need to worry about is being kind to one another. Nice. I like that kind of simplicity.

Flying Squirrels Are Legal in Texas

2008-05-12T11:45:00.000-07:00

Saturday, May 10, 2008

When asked if he has any pets, my checker Ron at Trader Joe's told me he has 2 flying squirrels. They are sisters. He said that they are illegal here (I will not reveal too many personal details about you, Ron), but are of course legal in Texas.

I wonder what qualifies them to be ok there and not here. Do they have more room to fly in Texas? Actually, they don't really fly. They just jump really far. He told me of someone who trained their flying squirrels to fly up and down stairs.

Ferrets are illegal here, too, but I know so many people who have them as pets. They are so cute! I heard that we are allowed to breed them here in California, but not have them. So, as long as we make money off of them, they are ok, huh? That sucks.

My kitty cats would have a field day with these little gals.

Flying squirrels. The ultimate cat toy.

I've gotta go to bed. I probably had you at pet flying squirrels.

Flirt While U Shop

2008-04-27T22:00:00.000-07:00

Spring has sprung people! I am feeling warm all over, and I am ready to do something about it. Hee hee. Forgive me, I don't hold back much.

Seriously, I feel as though my vibe is stronger than ever. I am a magnet. The only thing missing is some follow through. Such is the story of my dating history. That is about to change. I'll make sure of it.

Do you ever notice how the warm weather can make people act kinda funny? Take today, for instance. I was driving home from my regular meeting and hit a stop light. A fire truck had just been there to check on someone, and they were driving in front of me. They were gorgeous, as is the requirement for being a firefighter, I guess. At least from my subjective opinion, they are all attractive in some way. Anyway, I waved to them as they turned right. For some strange reason, I thought I saw a green light. I drove through the intersection, noticing all the cross traffic coming toward me. I honked, and so did they. It took me a second to realize I was running a red light. Whoa.

Later, at Butterfly Beach, I was driving toward a good parking spot. It was late in the day, around 4:30. I did this on purpose so as to avoid heavy traffic everywhere. I saw someone packing up to leave on the other side. I made a U-turn near the end of the drive, but not quite. Suddenly, I saw a cop car facing me, stopped. I rolled down my window. I realized I had just driven across a double yellow line.

I apologized profusely, telling him I completely forgot. I was totally being honest. I do it frequently without thinking about it. I was driving about 2 miles an hour, so I did not expect to get the reaction he shot out at me. This cop was really pissed off. He barked at me, "It's not a question of forgetting. Do you realize if I gave you a citation right now, it would be over $300? And for what?" He even hurumphed. I said I was really sorry again, about to tell him I would never do it again. He let me go. I have never experienced such an aggressive response to such a minor infraction. I was not in a hurry, and would have gone all the way around, had I remembered what the hell I was doing. But it was like 95 degrees and humid. He was obviously not thrilled with his patrol route either.

I swear the heat definitely went to my head today. I have been really inattentive in the worst way. This whole weekend has been kinda nutty anyway. Lust is in the air, and I am not alone in feeling it. I find it especially interesting to go grocery shopping lately. What fun. Odds are definitely in my favor, as far as getting a date anytime in this century. In fact, I might even be busy as soon as the next few weeks. Who knows? It's been awhile, so I am unaccustomed to being treated to a meal, walk down State Street, a hike, or maybe even a sunset beach stroll. There are some ideas for any of you who would like to take me out. I told you, I am ready.

The Sound of Silence

2008-04-26T10:33:00.000-07:00

Last Wednesday, I participated in the Day Of Silence, which honors those being silenced by harrassment and violence every day in the GLBT community. Lawrence King, a 15 year old Oxnard boy, was one of these people. He was shot by a classmate for being homosexual and gender expression. If you would like to know more about this, please visit this website: http://dayofsilence.org/

I am rarely silent. I have plenty to share, and talk all the time. I always have something to say. Being completely silent (save a few accidental peeps) for about 5 hours was a spiritual experience for me. I plan on being silent once a week now, for a full day or at least a partial day. I found myself able to pick up on the chatter in the classroom, as well as the lectures. I was really listening. Often, when we have a burning desire to share something, our ears turn off. I found relief in not responding. There were times I would write in a notebook, out of necessity (group work) or to clear confusion about what I was communicating. Other times, I just wrote because I felt like talking. I feel like that was the most difficult part of the experience, because I had to make such an effort.

There are times when saying nothing is better than any words spoken aloud or even written down. I did notice that when I wrote an in class essay on "Love", I could express myself well, as though my thoughts were clearer when freed from the clutter of words spoken.

As I left campus for the day, I entered the freeway to begin my commute back home to Santa Barbara. I attempted to merge, as I noticed a woman driving too fast to let me in swiftly approaching. I had to veer to the right, almost off the road, to avoid her crashing into me. So, the first words out of my mouth were, "Oh my God, what the f*ck are you doing?!"

Once I recovered from the panicky feeling of the potential disaster, I had to laugh. However, I was disappointed that negativity poured out of my voice, after 5 hours of peaceful nonresistant silent time, so I remained silent for another 30 minutes of the drive. This included being mute to Jack Johnson and Ben Harper singing "With My Own Two Hands", but could not hold out for the entire song. It is just too beautiful not to sing along to.

What I thought would have been a challenge became a wonderful learning experience and quite calming. Who would have thought this chatterbox would actually welcome keeping quiet. But I did, and I will again. You may see more blogs from me on those days. I still have lots to share.

*Weekly Challenge*

I encourage any of you to be silent for at least one hour. Find a time when you know you will be uninterupted, and have no prior commitments involving kids or work, etc. Be around people talking. Share how it feels. If you have had a silent retreat before, please share your experiences. Thanks!

Enjoy the weekend all.

Reality Bites...Or Does It Simply Blow Kisses?

2008-04-19T20:13:00.000-07:00

First things first. I am feeling so in the moment, completely present right now. Such was the case earlier at Trader Joe's. This very angry man I've seen yelling around my neighborhood walked across the driveway, as I was chatting with Mark the petition guy. As a driver waited to leave the lot, the man exclaimed, "Get your f*ckin car off the sidewalk, you bitch!" and he kicked the bumper. He felt offended by this person being in his way.

I really feel for this man. He is completely miserable. He carries multiple bags and appears homeless. His energy is as heavy as the duffle bag he carries. His anger can literally be heard all throughout the town. This is probably not the first time he has caused a scene.

I am a very friendly person. I tend to say hello to everyone I see. Seriously, I leave no one out. I also am aware that people who behave as this man does usually do not get friendly greetings. I held back today, just turning to send him some positive energy. I felt such discomfort left in his wake, and realized that saying "Hi" would not help. Brian, my favorite cashier (BTW he is such a cutie), came out to witness the event. He is from Iowa. I wonder if this is foreign to him, seeing such an upheaval. Anyway, the man is very upset because he is unable to live in the present moment. What he is experiencing is an inability to accept life as it is. This is probably one of the more extreme instances I've witnessed. I believe it is a moment I needed to pay attention to.

This man is not alone. There are so many people on our planet expressing their pain this way. They could all use some good energy. Imagine a world where we all cared for one another, regardless of circumstance. Imagine letting go of all of that anger. Wow. What a relief.

This man illustrated for me what it is like when I am in a state of nonacceptance, wanting to control the uncontrollable. Another issue is one of action. In his case, his choices included waiting, moving around, or walking slowly until s/he drove away. When I accept what IS, all of this is really simple. I don't even have to make an effort to take action or surrender.

Now, if I apply this to a relationship with someone I have had conflict with, it feels more complicated somehow. But is it? Notice I said that I have had conflict with him. I am not currently experiencing any conflict with this person. He is not even in my present space. Oh how I want to make the past and future into the present! I totally relate to the angry man on the street today.

I have been thinking way too hard about past behavior of a particular someone. I judge our current situation with our past. To put this in more understandable language to those of you who have no idea what I am getting at...I was seeing this guy for a couple of years, after 3 months of dating and a break up. Every time we saw each other, we would get intimate. He does not want to date me. I don't want to just sleep with him. We stood at a crossroads. We always do this. We are repeat offenders, continuing the same insanity until we learn something.

Let me say right now that I have flip flopped this around in my head for a few years. I used to engage in behavior with him that did not serve either of us. I no longer do this. I will put space between us. I get angry at him, in his absence (part of the process). He appears in my space, either by supposedly "random" chance (there are no accidents), or on purpose by calling. I get more angry at him for being in my space. Eventually, I come to my own crossroads. I could go yell at him to stop bothering me, tell him he hurt me, blah blah blah. Or...I could forgive him. Whenever I've forgiven before, I get the urge to call him. Inevitably, I feel like kissing him (old behavior). All of this scares me. Fortunately, it's all in my head.

Well, today I realized that I can forgive him and still have boundaries. Every time I let go of expectation of any kind, he and I get along and there is no pain. I am not blind nor stupid. Neither is he. We both know that the way we have been approaching this has not worked. We have both pushed against that, and tried anyway, to no avail. It's time to stop screwing around and show some true love to one another. I have no control over what he does, but I am sick and tired of being angry. I am grateful for a lesson learned. What a blessing. I am ready to love him for who he is, as is. Without fear of attachment issues, without obsession. Just pure love. Unconditionally, just like I love my cats. :)

All we need is love y'all. That is all.

Stream of Consciousness...

2008-04-17T17:52:00.000-07:00

Don't know what to write about yet, so I am pulling the free association out of my head and will see what comes out. I have had a few zillion thoughts today, so I am sure it won't be difficult to find something interesting to say.

I just watched Juno last night. It is going to be or already is a cult "classic". I guess it is not classic yet, but it has some lines in it like Napoleon Dynamite that will linger and be repeated profusely, esp in the teen world. They say things like "wizard" (def: cool) and "I need to procure a hasty abortion". Juno is so freakin lovable, I want to adopt her myself. For those of you who haven't seen copious ads for this film, it's about a pregnant teen with precocious and brilliant, quirky and cute all over her face. Jason Reitman produced it, I believe? Can't remember the guy's name, but he rocks. Juno is one of the better movies I've watched in some time. A must see for people of all ages.

Today before I went to my work study at Body Therapy Institute, I took some time to relax in my lawn and write a gratitude list. I observed a standoff amongst the DLV Kitty Posse (that's De La Vina, what I have named our hood, since we live on that street) and a cat who lives behind us named Sadie. I may have mentioned before that we have a total of 9 cats in our little community. My neighbor Starr and I each have cats who are related to one another. They pretty much get along well, and claim the area as their own.

Anyway, Sadie comes to visit, as do some other neighboring cats. Sadie likes to hang out, whether our local crew likes it or not. She just settled down behind my worn out window screen in the dirt, with a definite plan to stay a while. Well, first I heard Delilah begin to grumble. Then her brother Moses came over. I noticed Lucho creeping over from the other side. Suddenly, Sophie showed up too. They were surrounding Sadie, but she did not budge. Lucho's sister Layla made an appearance a few minutes later. I swear I need a soundtrack for this. Finally, they all sort of closed in on her and she yowled and moved about half a foot. She eventually left for the day without any of them having to scuffle with her. Brave little bobtail, I'll tell ya, what with the 5:1 ratio. She was seriously outnumbered.

My littlest kittens are Moses and Delilah, at 11 months old. They keep catching mosquito hawks. Delilah will bring them in to show off her prize. She has orange stripes with a white face, and has black lips. It's too cute to see her head buried in this helpless insect, then slowly peek up to seek acknowledgment from me.

Moses has some strange habits. He enjoys any paper product, especially tissue and toilet paper. He has an inclination to unravel the TP roll every so often. I have had to take it off the handle when he gets out of hand with it. I also hide my tissue boxes. There have been times when I left it out, like when I've watched a movie that makes me cry. I'll get up in the morning to discover tissues all over the living room. He would be adorable if he wasn't destroying stuff. He massacres any paper. He could be my shredder. Ha ha. His other habit is totally gross. He tips over the trash can in my bathroom once a month, in search of personal hygiene products. I don't even want to share any further info on that one. Ew. Of course, he makes up for his destructive tendencies by purring really loud and long. He comes over for what I call a purr session several times a day. He sounds like he has some respiratory condition, but it's just him purring his heart out. So sweet, my motor mouth.

Maxed Out

2008-04-17T17:50:00.000-07:00

Note: written on Tuesday...

I am so worn out, burnt out, totally fried from a marathon make up study session! I have all these diaries to do for social psychology. I have been writing all friggin day. OK, it was only 6 hours...I am already becoming a PhD lunatic, saying things like ONLY 6 hours. Sheesh.

So I decided that I cannot do everything. I am not really Supergirl, at least not in the superhero sense of the word. Once again, I did not get everything done. I had 4 days. I used 2 days to relax, as I should. Perhaps next time I can actually use part of Friday, keep Saturday for myself, and study Monday or Tuesday, not both in a row. Cramming just does not work. Ugh. I am hungry. I felt like I needed to write this, though. I want to remember what it's like. I am NOT Superwoman!

That being said, I can now officially let go of all residual guilt from not finishing a paper that I had extra time for, in order to work on other make up stuff for a different class. I can get some sleep and make a go of finishing in the morning. I can be flexible.

OK, now I can eat. I can only hope that others reading this will understand that we do not have to do everything! It is OK to do what we can and leave the rest. Life happens. Oh yea, and just because I am a psych major does not mean I have to always enjoy analyzing human behavior. Frankly, I am sick of it at the moment. I am happy to just be and let be.Love you all!

Would I get arrested if I jogged in the buff?

2008-04-14T15:17:00.000-07:00

This weekend was so hot, I actually considered ditching my clothes. I am totally serious. I don't mean in the privacy of my own home. I am talking about 7am, in the neighborhood, sweating in 80 degree weather. Or at least it felt like it. I go running every morning, usually between 7-8am. Saturday I decided that I might risk getting arrested for pulic nudity. Incidentally, we ARE naked all the time, but clothing covers our parts. Clothing keeps us warm. Well, I did not need to stay warm. So, why bother?

I pondered whether I would actually have the cajones (that's balls en espanol) to be that nonconformist. Maybe I can start my own club for athletes who are tired of being confined by the cloth on their hot, muscular bodies. We will run together, get our pictures in the paper, be featured in the news. All that crap. And we will be so comfortable letting it all hang out. Go Club Naked, baby!

I felt a twinge of jealousy as I gazed at a shirtless young man walk by me yesterday. I told him my thoughts of just taking it all off, and lamented that I could not go without a shirt, although I had of course considered the possibility. I had just finished my meeting, so I was feeling a bit spiritual. I almost began a train of thought which included breaking gender norms and all that. I realize that clothing is ridiculous, really. We use it to sustain the illusion that we are different from each other somehow. We also connect it to sexuality.

So of course I had noticed that this guy was hot, in more ways than one (I am quoting 11 year old Paul, who said this of himself at my friend's daughter's bday party. Hilarious). This shirtless guy was hot, and I was horny. I admit it. Why else would I mention getting nude to beat the heat to a supposedly random stranger, while standing in a lovely sundress looking just as hot? Like I said, there's a sexual element to nudity in this country, and I am socialized this way, just like everyone else. Or I am just lookin for love in all the right places. Ha ha.

I have a proposition to make. I dare you to do something that violates a norm. I did this for an assignment once, and so much was revealed. Except my clothing...I did not take it that far. I invaded personal space, and took my guy friend out on a date which I paid for. I even opened his doors. That was silly. I will share more on that later. But first, I have a question.

*Weekly Challenge*

Would any of you risk possible ridicule and embarrassment, or even legal intervention by walking around your neighborhood in the nude?

If you could not bring yourself to do something this extreme, how far would you go to break a societal norm?

I was fully clothed all weekend. I wish I could have just gone for it, but I didn't have the guts. Please share your stories. Have fun!