Blog - Serenity Matters https://serenitymatters.com/blog/ Intuitive Counseling & Behavioral Coaching Sat, 28 Feb 2026 18:52:35 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.9.4 https://serenitymatters.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/06/logo-icon-150x150.png Blog - Serenity Matters https://serenitymatters.com/blog/ 32 32 The 5 Simple Steps to Get What You Really, Really Want: Step 5 — Get Worldly Help https://serenitymatters.com/2026/04/12/get-worldly-help-step-5/ Sun, 12 Apr 2026 07:33:40 +0000 https://serenitymatters.com/?p=2499 Get Worldly Help Spiritual Alignment Still Requires Action There’s a misconception that spiritual growth means everything should unfold effortlessly. That once you align with your Inner Power Source, life simply rearranges itself without effort. But alignment is not passivity. It’s partnership. Guidance often arrives through people, opportunities, books, conversations, or professional support. Sometimes the “answer” […]

The post The 5 Simple Steps to Get What You Really, Really Want: Step 5 — Get Worldly Help appeared first on Serenity Matters.

]]>

Get Worldly Help

Spiritual Alignment Still Requires Action

There’s a misconception that spiritual growth means everything should unfold effortlessly.

That once you align with your Inner Power Source, life simply rearranges itself without effort.

But alignment is not passivity.

It’s partnership.

Guidance often arrives through people, opportunities, books, conversations, or professional support. Sometimes the “answer” you’ve been asking for shows up in the form of a therapist, a coach, a class, or a difficult but necessary conversation.

Receiving help is not weakness. It’s wisdom.

Spiritual insight prepares you.
Worldly action activates change.

If you’ve been guided toward a next step — take it.

If a name keeps coming to mind — reach out.
If you feel prompted to learn something new — begin.
If a conversation feels overdue — have it.

Divine guidance rarely replaces responsibility. Instead, it clarifies it.

You still:

  • Make the call
  • Set the boundary
  • Fill out the application
  • Schedule the appointment
  • Do the work

 

But now you’re not acting from fear or pressure. You’re acting from alignment.

When spiritual awareness and practical action work together, change becomes sustainable.

You’re no longer forcing outcomes.
You’re participating in them.

Ask yourself:

Who or what might support me right now?

Then listen.

And take one grounded step forward.

 

This concludes the 5 Simple Steps to Get What You Really, Really Want.

 

Remember — when you align intention, invitation, awareness, and action, you don’t just change your circumstances — you change your relationship with yourself.

And from that place, life begins to meet you differently.

 

© Serenity Matters | Deborah A. Lindholm. All rights reserved.

 

 

The post The 5 Simple Steps to Get What You Really, Really Want: Step 5 — Get Worldly Help appeared first on Serenity Matters.

]]> The 5 Simple Steps to Get What You Really, Really Want: Step 4 – Notice the Differences https://serenitymatters.com/2026/03/29/notice-the-differences-step-4/ Sun, 29 Mar 2026 07:33:00 +0000 https://serenitymatters.com/?p=2497 Notice the Differences Change Rarely Arrives with Fireworks After you’ve set an intention, asked for help, and requested signs, something subtle begins to shift. But here’s where many people miss it. They expect transformation to be dramatic. They wait for a breakthrough moment. A visible result. A clear external confirmation that everything has changed. Real […]

The post The 5 Simple Steps to Get What You Really, Really Want: Step 4 – Notice the Differences appeared first on Serenity Matters.

]]>

Notice the Differences

Change Rarely Arrives with Fireworks

After you’ve set an intention, asked for help, and requested signs, something subtle begins to shift.

But here’s where many people miss it.

They expect transformation to be dramatic.

They wait for a breakthrough moment. A visible result. A clear external confirmation that everything has changed.

Real change rarely announces itself that way.

More often, it arrives quietly.

You respond to a situation differently than you used to.
You pause instead of reacting.
You feel less hooked by something that once consumed you.
You notice a small moment of calm where anxiety once lived.

These are not small things.

They are evidence.

Spiritual growth and alignment don’t usually begin with external outcomes. They begin internally — in perception, awareness, and emotional regulation. When you start noticing these differences, you’re seeing alignment in motion.

This is why awareness matters.

If you don’t consciously look for the changes, you may overlook them. And when you overlook them, you might assume nothing is happening.

Try asking yourself at the end of the day:

  • How did I respond differently today?
  • What felt even slightly easier?
  • Where did I choose calm instead of control?

You don’t need dramatic proof. You need honest observation.

When you acknowledge small shifts, you reinforce them. Your nervous system registers safety. Your mind registers progress. Your confidence grows.

And gradually, those subtle differences accumulate.

What begins as a quieter reaction becomes a new pattern.
What begins as one calm choice becomes steadiness.
What begins as a small internal shift becomes external change.

Transformation builds in layers.

Notice them.

Because what you recognize, you strengthen.

 

This is the fourth in a short series exploring the 5 Simple Steps to Get What You Really, Really Want. 

Next in the series: Step 5: Get world Help — Why worldly help is part of spiritual alignment.

 

© Serenity Matters | Deborah A. Lindholm. All rights reserved.

 

 

 

The post The 5 Simple Steps to Get What You Really, Really Want: Step 4 – Notice the Differences appeared first on Serenity Matters.

]]> The 5 Simple Steps to Get What You Really, Really Want: Step 3 – Request Signs https://serenitymatters.com/2026/03/15/request-signs-step-3/ Sun, 15 Mar 2026 07:33:02 +0000 https://serenitymatters.com/?p=2495     Request Signs Trust Grows Through Experience Once you’ve set an intention and asked for help, a natural question often follows: How will I know I’m being guided? This is where signs come in. Requesting a sign isn’t about testing the Divine or demanding proof. It’s about strengthening your awareness. It’s about learning to […]

The post The 5 Simple Steps to Get What You Really, Really Want: Step 3 – Request Signs appeared first on Serenity Matters.

]]>

 

 

Request Signs

Trust Grows Through Experience

Once you’ve set an intention and asked for help, a natural question often follows:

How will I know I’m being guided?

This is where signs come in.

Requesting a sign isn’t about testing the Divine or demanding proof. It’s about strengthening your awareness. It’s about learning to recognize that guidance is already moving in your life.

Many people hesitate here. They worry it sounds naïve or unrealistic. But asking for a sign is simply another form of relationship. When you’re building trust with another person, you look for evidence of reliability. In the same way, signs help you build trust in your inner guidance.

A sign can be subtle or obvious.

It might be:

  • A phrase you hear repeatedly in different places
  • An unexpected conversation that answers your question
  • A book falling into your awareness at exactly the right moment
  • A sudden calm where anxiety used to live

Signs rarely arrive with flashing lights. More often, they arrive quietly—woven into the ordinary moments of your day.

If you choose to ask for a sign, keep it light. Don’t demand a dramatic miracle. Instead, ask for something simple and specific. Then release the timeline.

For example:
If I’m moving in the right direction, show me something that feels unmistakably reassuring.

Then watch.

Not with strain.
Not with hypervigilance.
But with openness.

The purpose of a sign isn’t to control outcomes. It’s to build confidence. Each time you recognize one, even in hindsight, your trust deepens. You begin to move forward with less second-guessing and more steadiness.

Over time, you may find you don’t need signs as often. The relationship becomes more natural. Guidance feels less like something external and more like something you already know.

Trust grows through experience.

And experience begins with noticing.

 

This is the third in a short series exploring the 5 Simple Steps to Get What You Really, Really Want. 

Next in the series: Step 4: Notice the Differences — How to recognize real change as it unfolds.

 

© Serenity Matters | Deborah A. Lindholm. All rights reserved.

 

 

The post The 5 Simple Steps to Get What You Really, Really Want: Step 3 – Request Signs appeared first on Serenity Matters.

]]> The 5 Simple Steps to Get What You Really, Really Want: Step 2 – Ask for Divine Help https://serenitymatters.com/2026/03/01/ask-for-divine-help-step-2/ Sun, 01 Mar 2026 08:33:00 +0000 https://serenitymatters.com/?p=2494 Ask for Divine Help You Were Never Meant to Do This Alone One of the most powerful—and most overlooked—steps in creating meaningful change is simply this: Ask for help. Many of us were taught to push through, figure it out, and handle things on our own. We’re capable. We’re resourceful. We’ve built skills and knowledge […]

The post The 5 Simple Steps to Get What You Really, Really Want: Step 2 – Ask for Divine Help appeared first on Serenity Matters.

]]>

Ask for Divine Help

You Were Never Meant to Do This Alone

One of the most powerful—and most overlooked—steps in creating meaningful change is simply this:

Ask for help.

Many of us were taught to push through, figure it out, and handle things on our own. We’re capable. We’re resourceful. We’ve built skills and knowledge that serve us well. If we don’t know something, we can research it, take a course, watch a video, or ask someone with experience to guide us.

There are countless ways to gain practical help.

But spiritual help doesn’t operate in the same way.

Spiritual support isn’t something you acquire through research or effort. It’s not limited by what you already know or what you can control. It exists outside the realm of everyday knowledge—subtle, expansive, and responsive.

And it responds to invitation.

Divine growth and spiritual support begin with willingness. You don’t need perfect words. You don’t need certainty. You don’t even need to know exactly what to ask for.

You just need honesty.

And a quiet openness to the possibility that you don’t have to work so hard to bring about the changes you truly want. You don’t have to remain in constant stress. You don’t have to carry everything alone.

When you ask for help, something shifts. Effort softens. Perspective widens. What once felt heavy can begin to feel guided.

Of course, asking isn’t the end of the process. You still follow through. You still take action. But now it becomes inspired action—action that feels aligned rather than forced.

Try saying—out loud, if you can:

Please guide me. Please help me see the next right step.

Then pause.

Help rarely arrives with fireworks. More often, it comes as a quiet nudge, a calming thought, a sudden clarity, or an unexpected sense of relief.

When you ask, you open a doorway.
When you pause, you allow guidance to enter.

 

This is the second in a short series exploring the 5 Simple Steps to Get What You Really, Really Want.

Next in the series: Step 3: Request Signs — How signs strengthen trust and confidence.

 

© Serenity Matters | Deborah A. Lindholm. All rights reserved.

The post The 5 Simple Steps to Get What You Really, Really Want: Step 2 – Ask for Divine Help appeared first on Serenity Matters.

]]> The 5 Simple Steps to Get What You Really, Really Want: Step 1 – Set Your Intention https://serenitymatters.com/2026/02/01/the-5-simple-steps-to-get-what-you-really-really-want-step-1-set-your-intention/ Sun, 01 Feb 2026 16:00:00 +0000 https://serenitymatters.com/?p=2483 A Gentle Reintroduction I haven’t written here in a while. Not because I had nothing to say—but because life was asking me to listen more deeply, integrate what I was learning, and live it first. Over the coming weeks, I’ll be sharing a short series called The 5 Simple Steps to Get What You Really, […]

The post The 5 Simple Steps to Get What You Really, Really Want: Step 1 – Set Your Intention appeared first on Serenity Matters.

]]>

A Gentle Reintroduction

I haven’t written here in a while.

Not because I had nothing to say—but because life was asking me to listen more deeply, integrate what I was learning, and live it first.

Over the coming weeks, I’ll be sharing a short series called The 5 Simple Steps to Get What You Really, Really Want.

These steps blend spiritual awareness with grounded, practical action—a process I’ve used personally and with clients for years.

If you’re feeling called to slow down, realign, and move forward with more clarity and ease, you’re in the right place.

 

The 5 Simple Steps to Get What You Really, Really Want
Aligning with Your Inner Power Source—One Grounded Step at a Time

 

Set Your Intention

The First Step to Getting What You Really, Really Want

There comes a moment in life when something inside us whispers, “There has to be more than this.“

More peace.
More clarity.
More alignment.
More you.

That whisper is not random. It’s the voice of your Inner Power Source—the steady, wise part of you that remains connected to the Divine no matter what’s happening in your outer world.

Every real change begins with intention.

An intention isn’t a wish or a vague hope. It’s a clear inner declaration:
This is what I’m ready for now.

When you set an intention, you’re signaling—to yourself, to your Inner Power Source, and to the Divine—that you’re willing to participate in your own evolution.

Try this simple practice:
Write one sentence that begins with:

What I really, really want is…

Then ask yourself:

    • How do I want to feel as my life unfolds?

    • What am I ready to release or invite in?

You don’t need the full plan.

Clarity opens doors—one honest step at a time.

Take your time with this step. There’s no rush—only readiness.

 

This is the first in a short series exploring the 5 Simple Steps to Get What You Really, Really Want.

Next in the series: Step 2: Ask for Divine Help — Why asking for help changes everything.

 

© Serenity Matters | Deborah A. Lindholm. All rights reserved.

The post The 5 Simple Steps to Get What You Really, Really Want: Step 1 – Set Your Intention appeared first on Serenity Matters.

]]> 3 Simple Ways to Move Out of a Funk https://serenitymatters.com/2022/09/06/3-simple-ways-to-move-out-of-a-funk/ Tue, 06 Sep 2022 18:31:44 +0000 https://serenitymatter.wpenginepowered.com/wp/?p=1659 Ever find yourself in a funk?  You know the feeling that nothing is going right?  It happens to everyone. The trouble is that for some people, those funks can last weeks, months, and even years.  Why does this happen?  Negative self-talk, negative beliefs, negative thoughts – these negatives all send negative energy out and bring […]

The post 3 Simple Ways to Move Out of a Funk appeared first on Serenity Matters.

]]>

Ever find yourself in a funk?  You know the feeling that nothing is going right?  It happens to everyone. The trouble is that for some people, those funks can last weeks, months, and even years. 

Why does this happen? 

Negative self-talk, negative beliefs, negative thoughts – these negatives all send negative energy out and bring negative energy right back in like a magnet.  It’s the law of attraction.  

We attract what we send out.  It’s not a new concept; in fact, there are many age-old sayings that model this law:

  • You reap what you sow
  • The rich get richer
  • Give and you shall receive

And so on, I’m sure you can think of a few yourself.

The point is that what you put out, you get back.  So if you’re in a funk and feeling or saying things like – I’m never going to lose this weight or I hate my job or Why am I always so darned tired?  You’re going to get exactly what you sent out – weight gain, an unhappy and unfulfilling work environment and fatigue. Not so good, right?

The good news is that there are real steps you can take to modify your thoughts and change your life.  Simple steps you can take and practice to find the serenity to replace the negative thoughts and attract what you desire most in life.

Gratitude.  There are many things we do on a daily basis.  We brush our teeth, we watch TV. Maybe we walk the dog, get the mail, go to work, watch the news and so on.  Adding gratitude into your daily practice is really just a matter of setting five minutes aside to be grateful.  This very small practice can change your life. It’s a funk buster!

Writing down what you’re grateful for will help you get started on those days when you perhaps struggle to find something to be grateful for.  You can read your list and remember just how very fortunate you are. Once gratitude becomes part of your life, you’ll find that you can quickly improve your mood or handle any situation by thinking about what you do have instead of what you don’t have.

Responsibility.  Take responsibility for your life and your present situation.  Now that doesn’t mean that you consciously, deliberately and directly caused all the tragedies and strife in your life.  However, you are responsible for how you react, respond, and deal with your present situation regardless of the cause. This very basic switch in mindset takes you from being a victim to being empowered. 

The real key here is to respond rather than to react.  When something happens to you, whether it’s as minor as a person cutting you off in traffic or something as serious as a loved one passing away, reacting takes the control away from you.  Responding, however, takes responsibility and puts you in control of what happens next.

Responding embraces the experience and allows you to be in the moment; in your body and at one with the experience. Try it the next time something happens good or bad – respond.  Take responsibility for how you handle things and you’ll be surprised how you’re able to change your perspective and your life.  Simply pausing and taking in a deep breath is all it takes sometimes. It’s really about response-ability.

Acceptance.  There are times when things happen which we cannot control.  People die, the stock market crashes, our car breaks down, our children or loved ones make mistakes.  Trying to control all of this is enough to drive anyone into feelings of despair and powerlessness.

At a certain point, it may be wise to accept what is going on or what happened.  This is about accepting the reality of the situation as it is.  It’s as easy as saying, “I accept that______(fill in the blank).”  Stating your acceptance out loud is recommended, but repeating it mentally over and over can also work.   

You don’t have to like the situation, approve of it or condone it.  We may have difficulty understanding the big picture, but we acknowledge it and know that all will be well.  Because, denying it usually leads to more discomfort and staying stuck in the negative thoughts and beliefs.

Any one of these practices can help shift you out of a temporary or prolonged funk.  Giving up the need to control and understand everything is important.  Be grateful, create and state your intentions and be the very best person you can be and then accept what is present in your life.  Go forward and have faith that everything will eventually work out as it should.   

© Deborah A. Lindholm 

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEBSITE? You can, but you must include the following resource information in its entirety: In her unique journey as a former CPA and psychotherapist, Deborah Lindholm underwent a profound spiritual awakening during a tumultuous divorce, empowering her to beat an incurable illness while creating a new profession and business. If you yearn to take charge of your life with renewed hope, clarity and focus, reach out to her for a complimentary consultation at SerenityMatters.com

The post 3 Simple Ways to Move Out of a Funk appeared first on Serenity Matters.

]]> Refocus Your Energy To Change Your Life https://serenitymatters.com/2016/10/25/change-your-energy/ Tue, 25 Oct 2016 08:52:18 +0000 http://ld-wp.template-help.com/wordpress_61119-sample/?p=421 Have you ever noticed that you can walk into a room and the energy is almost palpable?  Maybe you’ve heard the phrase “You could cut the tension with a knife.”  We’ve all felt it.  That almost tangible feeling you get when you walk into a room where people have been fighting.  Energy has a vibration […]

The post Refocus Your Energy To Change Your Life appeared first on Serenity Matters.

]]>

Have you ever noticed that you can walk into a room and the energy is almost palpable?  Maybe you’ve heard the phrase “You could cut the tension with a knife.”  We’ve all felt it.  That almost tangible feeling you get when you walk into a room where people have been fighting.  Energy has a vibration and when concentrated, as it is when a group of people are tense and agitated, you can almost reach out and touch it.

This kind of tense or negative energy, if you walk into it or surround yourself with those who are releasing it, can have a profound effect on your own disposition and attitude – especially if you are unaware of the powerful effect energy has on us.  It affects your thoughts, your attitude toward yourself and others, and how you live your life.

The same holds true for positive energy.  Walk into a room full of positive people, a party, a person’s home, and even a house of worship or a sanctuary and feel your life force surge.  You feel surrounded by positive energy and your mood and attitude get better. You feel uplifted.

How Does This Happen?  Where Does This Energy Come From And Why Does It Have Such A Strong Effect On Us?

Plain and simple – your thoughts have energy.  If you are in an argument with someone, then you may feel negative, angry, or resentful and even have some hurtful thoughts.  The other person probably is experiencing this too. This negative energy is given off by everyone.  Unless you’re aware enough to recognize it and separate yourself from it, you can become mired in negative energy, which means more negative thoughts.  It can become a vicious circle.

However, the universe has created all things in balance and good thoughts emit good energy.  So, you can tap into this concept in your daily life by simply connecting with a more positive level of consciousness. By taking a little time for yourself to focus on a peaceful and harmonious inner world of thoughts, you’ll be able to cultivate the power of positive energy each day.

  • Do you pray?
  • Do you meditate?
  • Do you create intentions?
  • Do you talk to God, The Divine, The Universe or your Inner Power Source or Higher Self?
  • Do you take quiet time to contemplate?

What You Send Out Comes Back To You.

Each time you send a thought out into the universe it carries energy with it.  Think about that for a minute. It’s a pretty powerful concept. Not only do your thoughts have a direct effect on those around you – your thoughts carry energy into the universe too; they have a direct effect on the energy you bring back to you.

Explore these statements:

I am drowning in debt.

I am debt free.  I am a strong, powerful, resourceful person.

Each statement sends out a different tone, a different vibration.  Each statement brings something back to the person who said it. The person who says “I am drowning in debt,” will likely continue to drown in debt.  That’s the energy they’re sending out and it’s what they’ll get back. It’s the good old law of attraction in action.

The person who says, “I am debt free.  I am a strong and resourceful person,” will become debt free.  That’s also the law of attraction at work.

What do you want to receive? 

What do you pray for, if you pray?  What do you meditate on? What do you ask the universe for?  What do you desire most?

Are your thoughts in line with your requests?  Are you asking in a manner which will attract what you desire?  If you want better health, are you framing your thoughts, intentions, and prayers in a positive manner – so you will draw better health to you?  Or are you focused on the negative and unintentionally attracting more of what you don’t want?

Most of us slip out of balance from time to time.  We forget, momentarily, to focus on the positive and let negative energy sneak in.  However, there are various methods to help yourself refocus on the positive and make it a way of life.

They include:

  • Practicing awareness – staying in tune with your thoughts
  • Clearing and letting go of negative beliefs
  • Surrendering to the divine
  • Expressing gratitude regularly
  • Taking responsibility for your outlook on life

If you ask for what you want in life in the right way, you’ll be setting the stage to receive it. By staying positive, the right energy will be behind your requests Then you’ll be able to notice what changes or not and make course corrections to your energy, your thoughts, and your intentions. By refocusing your awareness, you will be directing your energy toward a better life.

©2009-2019 Deborah A. Lindholm

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEBSITE? You can, but you must include the following resource information in its entirety: In her unique journey as a former CPA and psychotherapist, Deborah Lindholm underwent a profound spiritual awakening during a tumultuous divorce, empowering her to beat an incurable illness while creating a new profession and business. If you yearn to take charge of your life with renewed hope, clarity and focus, reach out to her for a complimentary consultation at SerenityMatters.com

The post Refocus Your Energy To Change Your Life appeared first on Serenity Matters.

]]>