tag:typepad.com,2003:weblog-1275800 2013-05-23T21:49:06-04:00 We mock soaps out of love. And hate. But mostly love. TypePad tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451b72b69e201901c808249970b 2013-05-23T21:49:06-04:00 2013-05-23T21:49:06-04:00

I think it's fair to say that I'm not exactly super fond of Sabrina, to the point where I had a shrill moment of internal panic today when someone called me "Sabrina" (I've grown sadly accustomed to answering to other names--maybe I don't enunciate clearly enough, but more often than not, people assume that my name is Valerie, or Molly, and sometimes it's easier just to go with that, especially if the odds of my ever seeing the person again are slim, but that was just weird. "Am I annoying? Do I look all giggly and swoony and ridiculous? I mean, I WAS just reading an article about Star Trek that had a big picture of Chris PIne in it. And I WAS writing with a pink pen. Maybe I AM Sabrina-ish!") but if General Hospital plays its cards right (I know, cart, horse, etc.), she could be a part of what could go down as 2013's most hilarious story: THE ROOMMATE FROM HELL. There's some Must-Watch potential here if the writing goes the way I hope it does, and that is the hijinks-filled and wacky way. Patrick: There's been a change of plans. You're not going to come home...

Mallory tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451b72b69e20192aa2cd0b3970d 2013-05-21T21:13:22-04:00 2013-05-21T21:13:22-04:00

I tried (a little). I was patient (in a way). But the mystery of...Mystery Guy played by Roger Howarth has become officially bothersome. Is it just me? Or is everything about this story, from Howarth's creepy stares to the soundtrack of ultra dramatic music that comes on whenever he appears on screen or the writing that is just TRYING SO FREAKING HARD that I am suffering from profound secondhand embarrassment at the very sight of it, so incredibly lame that you can literally--literally!--feel the last of your nerves fraying from irritation? Man on Plane: Oh! Unh! I was sure that was it. I mean, your face is just --just so positive. I mean, at least I have a positive association to it. It's like a spotlight that's shining on it. It's -- it's just positive. Are you famous? Mystery Guy: Well, that depends on what you mean by "famous." Heather: I had no idea you were back in town. Mystery Guy: Surprise. Heather: Something about you looks different. Mystery Guy: You think? Heather: Not sure what it is. But it suits you. Lulu: I'm sorry. Are we close? Mystery Guy: No. Not at all. Lulu: Well, don't be offended if...

Mallory tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451b72b69e201901c64c552970b 2013-05-20T19:20:33-04:00 2013-05-20T19:22:08-04:00

Well, I started to take notes on today's General Hospital to find things to make light of in an effort to get my mind off of what's been happening in Oklahoma (I hope all of you in the area are okay) and, you know, there were definitely a few things I was gearing up to get all snarky about but then someone yanked the rug right out from under me and I found myself engaged in earnest and weeping. Not for fun-soapy-weepy reasons, but for being legitimately moved and heartbroken by some terribly painful and authentic scenes courtesy of the phenomenal Jane Elliott. It really felt like a sucker punch. But in a good way! I expected more relish chat (and dreaded it, to be honest) and then they just turned right on around and hit me straight in the gut. Seriously, if you're in "watching only sporadically" mode right now, do not miss today's second half. After Luke heinously kissed Tracy and tried to convince her to just sit and wait around for him while he goes off gallavanting, she stood up for herself in a way that garnered a standing ovation. (And lest we forget that had she...

Louise tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451b72b69e20192aa1b6ac8970d 2013-05-19T22:21:54-04:00 2013-05-19T22:21:54-04:00

We have been terrible at posting these, but they are still happening! Check out our monthly column in Soap Opera Digest, where this month we sounded off on our thoughts on GH as well as the returns of OLTL and AMC. My Take by Mallory Harlen I’ve become increasingly concerned for the citizens of Port Charles. And not just because of the dangers they face on a regular basis: constant mob wars, plans by supervillains that throw the entire town into chaos, the constant threat that you’ll catch Carly on a bad day and you’ll be collateral damage in her latest vendetta (or, worse, that she’ll start to confide in you about her problems). No, I’m more worried about what will happen to them once they are admitted to General Hospital, likely for injuries sustained in any of the aforementioned situations, because the medical care they are likely to receive there is questionable. Does anyone really feel comfortable right now putting their lives in Patrick’s hands? It’s not that I object to Patrick being trapped by a crazy woman claiming to be pregnant with his child—well, actually, I do object to that because of all people on this show, Patrick...

Serial Drama tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451b72b69e2017eeb35f772970d 2013-05-15T19:55:54-04:00 2013-05-15T19:55:28-04:00

Starting with honesty: I have not missed a minute of GH in years (seriously, not one minute). That is, up until the last couple of weeks. This isn't because of some big statement or that I'm giving it up or angry at the show or any of the above, it's just that since OLTL came back I've been too busy to maintain three soaps fully, and so for whatever reason GH is the one that fell into "occasional viewing with fast-fowarding" temporarily. (Y'all know I caught the Anna/Duke stuff from last week after being told about it, of course!) I think maybe with the intensity of the big 50-hour marathon and then all the anniversary coverage I just got a bit burnt out for a little while. Anyway, I'm trying to pick it back up again with some flying through and some reading of recaps. And as you can imagine, watching entire episodes laden with The Chew business was not really the best way to dive back in. Especially with this new version of Morgan that rubs me every possible wrong way and then the trio of former OLTL actors returning in their weird new roles. I'll say this: I...

Louise tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451b72b69e201901c2dcc74970b 2013-05-14T19:34:23-04:00 2013-05-14T19:37:13-04:00

Okay, I'm probably overstating the case considerably. But I have been waiting years for Blair and Natalie to hang out. The fun trouble they could cause! But they really barely ever interacted on OLTLABC, I guess because they made Nat spend so many years pretending to be squeaky clean so she could meet John McBain's boring standards or... something. Anyway, I have absolutely no idea if this will lead to anything, but it was a start and I was nonetheless gleeful! Plus, once again we see that Natalie looks better than ever and someone on that show realizes they should feature that (finally). I wasn't crazy about the fabric of her dress, but at least it was damn flattering and the appropriate parties noticed! And Natalie is definitely noticing Cutter, too: "What is it about bad boys?" (To be fair, Rama's response was even better: "I don't know, I just work here.") Speaking of people looking good in their outfits, Téa slid weeping down the last wall against which she got nailed by Victor, but she was wearing such a cute dress while doing it! Those types of dresses have always been my favorite on her. Of course then she...

Louise tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451b72b69e201901c23d979970b 2013-05-13T19:44:05-04:00 2013-05-13T19:44:05-04:00

Because of my fondness for routine and a quite consistent temperament that usually hovers somewhere around "irritated", I'm an incredibly predictable person. This has its benefits (ordering the same thing at Starbucks every morning means that the barista gets started on my latte as soon as I walk in the door, which makes my trips efficient--and expensive, and sad when they misspell my name in a variety of humiliating ways, but that is a rant for a wordy opening paragraph in the future) and its downsides (I often worry, usually after watching a Lifetime movie or a particularly disturbing Law & Order, that my routine makes me an easy target for unsavory creepers. They'll always know where to find me!), but for the most part, it is what it is. So I'm sure we ALL know, unequivocally, what moment on today's General Hospital made me clap my hands with glee and delight--and no, it wasn't the return of Michael Easton and his classy little ponytail; that made me laugh uproariously and say "Oh, John McBain, you are just too cute" because him playing another character is going to take a lot of getting used to because see above re: routine....

Mallory tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451b72b69e201901bf310b8970b 2013-05-08T20:44:03-04:00 2013-05-08T20:49:25-04:00

Anywhere in the world. There couldn't be! (Okay, maybe one.) I realize I can barely come up with anything else to say about B&B lately, but I seriously cannot get enough of hearing all these completely deluded borderline-psychotics come up with ways to defend the indefensible. Today, we had Brooke (who is just completely insane now) revisit the gem of, "But Katie told me she wanted me to sleep with her husband! You could totally tell by the way she angrily screamed it while crying and throwing her wedding ring!" That one's sort of her standby, but today they really had me choking on my vegetarian chili. Brooke (to Bill, the man who basically tried to ruin Brooke's daughter's life in order to control his son's in a completely creepy manner): You're a good father. Bill: I try. Donna (to Bill, the man she just learned cheated on his wife, her sister, with her other sister): And a good husband. Bill: I try there, too. Brooke (who is standing there all weepy because she is miraculously pregnant by Bill, her sister's husband, to Bill): You are. WHO THE FREAK ARE THESE PEOPLE KIDDING? They are hilarious! And seriously, they weren't...

Louise tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451b72b69e2017eeae810c0970d 2013-05-07T20:35:02-04:00 2013-05-07T20:35:02-04:00

Today started rough, y'all. As I'm sure many of you experienced, for some technical reason Hulu had not posted today's new One Life to Live by morning -- and it's become my getting-dressed routine! Add to that the fact that my television's HDMI ports have been on the fritz so I couldn't put anything on the TV and just had to get ready in silence like some CAVEPERSON! And then we won't even get into what happened at work today, but it might have had something to do with a pair of pants I had SPLITTING when I bent over to file something and might have resulted in my having to fashion a pashmina into some sort of skirt-esque thing for the subway ride home. It might have! BUT I'M NOT SAYING. But I came home and I got industrious and I signed up for my free trial at Hulu Plus and I did some HDMI trouble-shooting and I hooked up my brand new darling Roku and I got to watch a new OLTL on actual television for the first time since January of 2012! So that calls for just a straight recap, doesn't it? Here we go! Poor Vimal....

Louise tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451b72b69e2017eeae03d06970d 2013-05-06T19:29:48-04:00 2013-05-06T19:29:48-04:00

The Unbearable Dumbness of Patrick has been driving me to distraction. DISTRACTION! To be brief--and I'm only being brief because I am very much the opposite of brief on this subject in my upcoming Soap Opera Digest column--there is no earthly reason for Patrick to not be suspicious of absolutely every single thing Britt does, considering the fact that he lived out this ENTIRE story already with Lisa Niles. Every time the woman BLINKS, he should be raising an eyebrow and saying "What was that blink?! Was it code to one of your evil accomplices?! You sneezed REALLY MANIPULATIVELY just now!!" But he's NOT and that's worrisome. Sabrina: Felix and I both think that Britt told you she was gonna terminate the pregnancy in order to manipulate you into stopping her. Britt: That is reprehensible. Sabrina: Oh, my point exactly. Reprehensible is Dr. Westbourne's M.O. Patrick: Sabrina, please... Sabrina: Patrick, she was manipulating you, okay? And it worked. And now you've promised to take care of britt and the baby, but you know what? That's not enough for her. So she's gonna fake this morning sickness in order to reel you in even more and... that's working, too. Patrick: I...

Mallory tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451b72b69e2017eeac6a1eb970d 2013-05-03T08:17:00-04:00 2013-05-02T20:44:42-04:00

I promise* that I will soon stop making "All My..." jokes. It just feels so good to be able to make them again and have them be relevant! And the truth of the matter is that I really do have so many reasons to be thankful for All My Children, like how it's back in my life, for starters, but also for the half hour long running time that means episodes zip by breezily and I don't even have the chance to be bored and for Lindsay Hartley's shiny shiny hair and so on and so forth. *Lie So I am grateful for a lot of Pine Valley related things, but today nothing even comes close to my gratefulness for David Hayward just existing and for Vincent Irizarry's classic soap acting. His monologue at a comatose (and also SORASed? I know that the new JR is roughly the same age as Jacob Young, but the latter had such a baby face that it makes the former look like a contemporary of Dixie's, not her son) JR was all sorts of amazing because it contained a lot of emoting and also really stilted explanations of what happened at the Chandler Mansion...

Mallory tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451b72b69e2019101bebe6c970c 2013-05-02T19:30:17-04:00 2013-05-02T19:30:17-04:00

I mean Brooke really does always know when someone has LEFT HER WITH NO CHOICE. Today, she confessed to their mutual sister that she bumped uglies with Katie's husband (oh sorry to be so crass, they would refer to it as "made love" or "what they shared" because what could be more beautiful), and she justified it over and over and over again by explaining that FIVE MINUTES BEFORE, Katie had said the marriage was over and she totally meant it. Donna suspects that Katie was just angry but, no, Brooke knows that Katie meant what she said. It hasn't occurred to her quite yet that EVEN IF SHE'S RIGHT AND KATIE WAS DONE, you actually do not get to fuck your sister's husband five minutes after she announces she wants out. You actually do not. Even if said married sister is super-hard on her husband by being all judgmental and not having energy for sex when she's taking care of a newborn and not wanting her hubby to get wasted and, like, knock nieces off of balconies or whatevs. THERE IS LITERALLY NO CIRCUMSTANCE UNDER WHICH THIS BEHAVIOR IS OKAY. But Brooke doesn't get that, because she's "wired" wrong....

Louise tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451b72b69e201901bc01904970b 2013-05-01T20:06:06-04:00 2013-05-01T20:13:40-04:00

Y'all, I have in no way calmed down or adjusted to this little fantasy world we're now living in where we can wake up to new episodes of One Life to Live every day. And it's just getting better, really. The first episode really had to cram everyone in, have an event as a set-piece, and give at least basic teasers for all the major plotlines. Since then, they've settled in a bit and we're delving a little deeper without having to spread everyone too thin. Tuesday's episode had the odd hiccup of Victor's big "back from the dead" return being pretty much the most anticlimactic entrance of a zombie anyone's ever seen -- most people just looked a little surprised or unnerved that he was in town but, you know, not enough to actually ask him why or how. I mean come on! They even ask for I.D. on Amtrak now! But today, they awesomely finally let someone think it was a big freakin' deal. To be fair, the long-time residents of Llanview probably see about three or four people come back from the dead in a slow year, so it's really more like getting a surprise phone call....

Louise tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451b72b69e201901bbd6ffe970b 2013-05-01T09:57:46-04:00 2013-05-01T21:09:33-04:00

Big week for soaps! There was that thing that happened on Monday, and today we have the Daytime Emmy nominations announcement. Shall we take a look? OUTSTANDING DRAMA SERIES The Bold and the Beautiful CBS Bradley P. Bell, Executive Producer Rhonda Friedman, Edward J. Scott, Supervising Producers Ronald W. Weaver, Senior Producer MarkPinciotti, Coordinating Producer Cynthia J. Popp, Colleen Bell, Casey Kasprzyk, Producers Days of Our Lives NBC Ken Corday, Executive Producer Lisa de Cazotte, Greg Meng, Co-Executive Producers Janet Drucker, Tim Stevens, Coordinating Producers Albert Alarr, Producer General Hospital ABC Frank Valentini, Executive Producer Mary-Kelly Weir, Michelle Henry, Mercer Barrows, Producers One Life To Live ABC Frank Valentini, Executive Producer Suzanne Flynn, Senior Producer Jackie Van Belle, Coordinating Producer John Tumino, Leah Weber, Producers The Young and the Restless CBS Maria Arena Bell, Jill Farren Phelps, Executive Producers Jay Gibson, Consulting Producer Sally McDonald, John Fisher, Tony Morina, Supervising Producers OUTSTANDING LEAD ACTRESS IN A DRAMA SERIES SUSAN FLANNERY, as Stephanie Forrester The Bold and the Beautiful CBS PEGGY MCCAY, as Caroline Brady Days of our Lives NBC MICHELLE STAFFORD, as Phyllis Summers Newman The Young and the Restless CBS HEATHER TOM, as Katie Logan Spencer The Bold and...

Louise tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451b72b69e2017eeab73ad9970d 2013-04-30T21:03:06-04:00 2013-04-30T21:03:06-04:00

I'm not psychic--although I DID correctly predict that my allergies today would be so overwhelmingly terrible that I'd be unable to hold my head up by late afternoon, although that's less of a sixth sense than it is a regrettably consistent pattern--but I have a feeling I know exactly what we'll all be doing tomorrow afternoon: watching General Hospital feeling a potent mixture of discomfort, confusion and mild disgust, because the end of today's show was just one long bad touch*. "Sure, sure", the writers said. "People say they want steamy romance, but what they really mean by that is dysfunction and randomness and a thick layer of what we in the biz call ick." I'm incredibly uncomfortable. *Okay, it was almost entirely a bad touch. It's just that something about AJ and Carly together is disturbingly compelling. I CAN'T EXPLAIN IT. They are gross and dysfunctional and yet...I think it's that Sean Kanan just has chemistry with everyone and everything he comes into contact with. He was even eyeing up that crystal decanter all flirtatious-like. But the rest of it? BAD TOUCH. New Lulu (NuLu?) and Milo were so random and awkward together that it was like...well, it was...

Mallory tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451b72b69e201901bb18d1f970b 2013-04-29T20:01:53-04:00 2013-04-29T20:01:53-04:00

The most ridiculous part of my day was not the sheer and utter GLEE I had at the return of All My Children and the way I actually squealed when the show opened with Brooke and Adam, because none of that is ridiculous at all. It's expected: Chandlers and Hubbards and Cortlandts are back in our lives. The only reaction a person should be having is GLEE. No, the most ridiculous part of my day was looking at the AMC/OLTL Premiere note I had written in my planner, as if I actually needed a reminder. I have an impeccable memory to start with so I almost definitely wouldn't have forgotten it and also, it's kind of a huge deal that I've been talking about incessantly for weeks to anyone who would listen and by "would" I mean, "was in close quarters in which escape wasn't an option". So why I felt the need to write myself a note is a little beyond me, unless Early-April Mallory just wanted to leave it there as a treat so that Mid and Late-April Mallory could get all flaily everytime she noticed it. I'm not even going to pretend like I have the presence...

Mallory tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451b72b69e201901baa6fd8970b 2013-04-29T11:55:00-04:00 2013-04-29T20:08:19-04:00

Our afternoons have felt undeniably sadder ever since ALL MY CHILDREN and ONE LIFE TO LIVE aired their finales. There are still times that we'll look at the clock during the 1 and 2PM hours and sigh wistfully. "What sort of nefarious plots would David Hayward be hatching right now, with that smug smile of his?" We ask. “In what regal and well-intentioned manner would Dorian Lord screw up the lives of everyone she loves this week and, most importantly, which hat would she be wearing while doing it?” We wonder. Our lives were a little emptier without the Chandlers and the Hubbards and Ryan Lavery (just kidding--we wanted to inject a little levity here before the schmaltz police arrested us.) The days seemed a little longer and lonelier without the Buchanans and the Hubbards and Robert Ford (okay, kidding again on that last one). But--and it's actually impossible for us to overstate our excitement about this. It's like our birthdays and a year's worth of holidays, plus our teams winning the Super Bowl and World Series all at once. And even that comparison is a little subdued compared to how we're actually feeling--we are finally going to be reunited...

Serial Drama tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451b72b69e2019101a3a196970c 2013-04-29T10:00:00-04:00 2013-04-29T07:37:48-04:00

Okay, this is just surreal. It might be the ridiculous amounts of coffee, but my hands are a little shaky as I sit down to type this out and I actually clicked on the "One Life to Live" category for this post and it wasn't about anticipation and it wasn't about OLTL characters on another show, but about today's new episode. Today's new episode! There's so much to say and it's nearly impossible not just to offer up a blow-by-blow account with lots of squealing and every single frame screencapped, but that would be silly so let's just dive into a few major points. Like this one: speaking of blow-by-blow, here's my favorite "no more network censors!" moment.... Love it. Love it! And another thing I'm super-psyched about right off the bat? Somebody's finally realized that Melissa Archer is insanely hot and dressing her like it. Those of you who were with me here for the last couple years of the ABC version of the show might recall how annoyed I'd get when they mysteriously made her frumpy so often when the woman is just lightning hot. Someone realized! And oh yeah, I'm pretty much already a hardcore Natalie/Cutter 'shipper....

Louise tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451b72b69e2017eeaa51853970d 2013-04-28T11:04:48-04:00 2013-04-28T11:04:48-04:00

Y'all, it's literally less than one day away. Oh wait, I shouldn't watch. Here's a poll that I developed after combing the internet and finding the most popular reasons that people are not going to watch the revived All My Children and One Life to Live and I think you'll all agree that this is how we should live and think and we should totally not watch. Vote now on why you absolutely will not watch! Check your pick! _ I refuse to pay to watch soaps, even though you absolutely can watch them for free. _ I watched a 118-second promo video and I can already tell that THEY HATE THE FANS AND DON'T CARE ABOUT THE VETS! _ I base all my viewing decisions on routine entertainment litigation and obviously Prospect Park is a super-evil production company and the first to ever sue a television network and therefore it is my moral obligation to refuse to watch a show that, actually, earns ABC money if I watch it. _ Prospect Park told us we'd keep AMC and OLTL online and it would happen in January of 2012 and it didn't happen because they couldn't put the money together...

Louise tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451b72b69e2017d43232bdc970c 2013-04-26T10:51:13-04:00 2013-04-26T10:54:09-04:00

If you've ever spent any time browsing the B&B posts on here, y'all probably know by now how much I irrationally love it when they end episodes with those super-cheesy juxtapositions of characters longing for each other across space and time or whatever. And those corny oft-repeated flashback montages to airy music are no different. Brooke and Bill flew in a balloon together! She cried in his arms when Stephanie died! And, most importantly, there was that one time she called him "Stallion" and HE ACTUALLY NEIGHED. So as you can imagine, yesterday was Good Times for Weezie because they did both in one episode. And we got the full concluding zooming-in juxtaposed LOVAHS shot: So romantic! Isn't it sad that these two soulmates can't be together?! I seriously can't even figure out what we're supposed to be rooting for here. What's this whole "they're totally in love and meant for each other!" thing all of a sudden? Or is this supposed to be a legitimate triangle? Look, I have no idea, but I am cracking up a lot and I won't complain about that. I look forward to them getting busted. (I say that now, but this being B&B...

Louise tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451b72b69e2017eea83bc53970d 2013-04-23T21:20:19-04:00 2013-04-23T21:20:19-04:00

Well, there are upsides and downsides. When it comes to soap amnesia, those who are perfectly aware of the amnesiac situation must never give advance notice to any loved ones or acquaintances in advance of the first meeting. No warning to the extended family, no heads-up to friends. Shit, y'all. The Spencer/Falconeri gang seemed to have even made an appointment with Patrick for Lulu without having even mentioned that the most acute need for this particular exam was that she's FORGOTTEN HER WHOLE LIFE. Why would her doctor need to know? He'll find out when she shrieks that she doesn't know him! Oh and another thing that happens with soap amnesia: they only forget their personal lives. They remember their command of the English language, they remember what year it is and who the President is. Nobody ever asks them if they remember learning to read and write, or if they remember whether or not they voted for this particular president, or how they even know that they can legally walk into a bar and order a drink. And they never want doctors to help them actually get their memory back, they just want to be LEFT ALONE! (Does Lulu...

Louise tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451b72b69e2017eea8017bf970d 2013-04-23T09:38:01-04:00 2013-04-23T09:39:38-04:00

Y'all, Liam got married again!!! (He does that a lot. His wedding-to-actual-marriage ratio is pretty shameful, but he sure has broken the record on weddings.) There's not much to say about it, really, but I couldn't resist posting this particular close-up of the big ring moment: I can't help it, it cracked me up. I like that Steffy is an unconventional kind of gal (though I do think their presentation of it is pretty perfunctory -- she's something like 22 and wants nothing more than to settle down with a husband and new baby, but look! She rides a motorcycle into her wedding and wears black!), even if I do not share her particular version of unconventional aesthetic. Otherwise, what a bummer of a little wedding. I always feel so sad for these soap characters who only have about five wedding guests and have to get married in the backyard. And they did the toasts in the middle of the ceremony -- so is there no reception? Lame! The reception is the good part! (Then again if you only have five guests, I guess a reception would be a little embarrassing. That would be such a sad electric slide.)

Louise tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451b72b69e2017eea7c6e70970d 2013-04-22T20:19:32-04:00 2013-04-23T06:08:46-04:00

Because I am a compulsive planner, I've started to look ahead to December and the Serial Drama Best and Worst of 2013 post and, specifically, the category "Worst Time People Talked About Killing Brenda And Did It With Lots of Meaningful Looks And A Humorous Tone So It Didn't SEEM Like They Were Serious About Actual Murder Except For The Part That They Totally Were" which has a shocking amount of potential honorees, like Sonny's jokey-except-not discussion of Brenda murder today. Sonny: Don't give [Carly] too mch credit. You know why? Because she asked me to kill Brenda. Olivia: How hard was it for you to resist? Sonny: [Meaningful look] Audience At Home: [Dawning horror] Olivia, genuinely worried about the answer to her question because it's not out of the realm of possibility: You didn't kill Brenda, did you? Sonny: No! [Beat] I mean...[Silence, in which it's heavily implied that he fantasized about gruesomely killing her because she made Carly mad, in which case baristas all over upstate New York better look into some security detail] Olivia: So if I wouldn't have called you, you would have gone and found Brenda and, um, what? Sonny: [Grateful for the appearance of...

Mallory tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451b72b69e2017eea4f8bbf970d 2013-04-16T19:38:38-04:00 2013-04-16T19:46:05-04:00

Because that's what Robin Mattson is. All right, let's do this thing as we go, shall we? Spinelli goes to see Heather in the crazy lady hospital. Welcome back, Heather. Felix gives Sabrina a hard time for ruining his makeover by pulling her hair back for work. You know, her job at the hospital. As a nurse. I'm going with, "Yes. Pull your hair back." He has actually referred to having turned her into Cinderella. I'm glad they spelled it out because thus far it sure had been subtle. Britt tells Patrick she's aborting her baby which, based on that bump, is about two months from birth. So yeah, that makes sense? Nik is talking on the phone to Spencer. I wonder if a SORAS'ed Spencer will return soon in the form of Michael Easton. Oh, and Katie Couric is Nik's doctor today. Lulu still hasn't seen "any of you people" in her life. WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE? (Confession: I totally love soap amnesia!) Konnie is at Sonny's door. She's been released from treatment. Oh I like her little outfit! He asks if she's Kate or Connie, which.... isn't how integration works, but okay. It's Soap D.I.D., so we just...

Louise tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451b72b69e2017d42d74a76970c 2013-04-16T10:06:12-04:00 2013-04-16T10:06:12-04:00

Oh, Bill. Silly, silly Bill Spencer. Yesterday's The Bold & the Beautiful gave us a few delicious tidbits of hilarity, starting with Bill and Brooke's utter inability to make even small talk without standing at most three inches away from one another. And then of course the two of them had one of the more hysterically delusional conversations I've ever heard in which they talked themselves into thinking that Katie, in fact, wants the two of them to be together. And it's not their fault and they had no choice and they tried literally everything to make Katie feel better and stop her from ending the marriage! Everything! Brooke: We made love. And it just seemed so right. Katie didn't want you, but I did. I hadn't loved somebody like that in a long time. But did she mean it? Did she really mean she wanted us to be together, or did she just say that out of anger? Bill: We tried to convince her. Brooke: And she just kept insisting. Bill: What more could we have done? I'm not going to apologize for what happened. We wouldn't even be having this conversation if Katie weren't sick. That's right, Bill....

Louise