tag:typepad.com,2003:weblog-1275800 2009-11-12T23:20:16-05:00 We mock soaps out of love. And hate. But mostly love. TypePad tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451b72b69e20120a692d578970b 2009-11-12T23:20:16-05:00 2009-11-12T23:20:16-05:00

Due, perhaps, to her adorable friendship with Maxie, or the fact that she works best as a singleton and has been single until her promising romance with Dominante, or Julie Marie Berman substantially toning down the smug face, I found myself liking Lulu again in recent months for the first time in YEARS. And then Lulu found out Dominante's two secrets and I was reminded why the words I most often associate with the character are "vile", "shrieking", "shrew", "smug", "bratty", and "pout": because HOLY HELL, this girl is a judgmental asshole with a superiority complex and no moral compass. Lulu: Now you've gone from a warning to overkill, because even if I did believe that Sonny would kill you, there is no way under any circumstances that he would ever hurt Olivia. Yes, because there are no cases on record of Sonny ever lashing out and physically or emotionally hurting a woman who he felt betrayed him, except for that one case known as "Every relationship Sonny has ever had". Lulu: Sonny trusts Dominic Pirelli. He depends on you. You guard his children. In Sonny's book, that is a huge compliment. But officer Dante Falconeri is betraying him. You...

Mallory tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451b72b69e20128758816ea970c 2009-11-12T11:00:00-05:00 2009-11-12T11:00:00-05:00

Daytime Confidential's Melodie Aikels chatted with daytime legend Kim Zimmer at the So Long Springfield event in Pittsburgh. Read Kim's thoughts on her legendary character. (Daytime Confidential) With little to no air-time for our favorite couple we're back to creating puzzles at The Scrubs Hub. Come check out our latest word search! (Scrubs Hub) Serial Drama's guest-blogger Louise is lucky enough to watch the one ABC that is entertaining (on purpose, even!). She shares her take on the good, the bad, and the anger-making SORAS mess in Llanview. (Serial Drama) Claudia's exit on GH had the wubqueen on the edge of her seat. For once things didn't play out like a bad B Movie. Kudos to all, especially the actors. (Wubs)

Serial Drama tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451b72b69e201287585b043970c 2009-11-11T23:00:00-05:00 2009-11-11T21:42:03-05:00

I was trying to hold off to see how this played out, but clearly this needs to be addressed immediately, albeit briefly. Remember how my last post was pretty much a plausibility rant? I take it back. I apologize, show. I was foolish. Dear, dear show, I did not realize how awesome implausibility could be. Just utterly, utterly awesome. So uh... it's hard to figure out where to start, but let's go with the logical place: We start with Viki coming across Nash's empty grave, which, let's face it, falls pretty high up with the highest-up echelon of Friday cliffhangers, yes? But it didn't stop there. Because then: Awww, Jess is so happy. Her dead husband came back to life! Now, I do question why she's smiling here -- while Nash never did have spectacular hair, one could already tell that something here was... awry. But that didn't take long: I mean this is not the receding hairline she so fondly remembers. And then? Really, one of the greatest moments in daytime history: I know. I know! Would you like some more? I mean... I could give you more, because they showed it repeatedly. Over and over again. All week...

Louise tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451b72b69e201287584a9b4970c 2009-11-11T20:28:30-05:00 2009-11-11T22:56:25-05:00

Have you ever sat and truly, thoughtfully reflected upon the destruction Charles Pratt has unleashed upon Pine Valley? The answer to that is probably no, because why would you ever willingly do something so depressing? (Unless you--like me when I was younger, inspired by a Baby Sitters Club book where Mary Anne mentioned that she reads the passage of Little Women where Beth dies anytime she is feeling down--actively seek out sad things to have a good cry. But in this case, it wouldn't be a good cry, it would be a horrified, angry, "How is he allowed to roam the streets without supervision and COLLECT A PAYCHECK?" kind of cry). But if you DID undergo that sad exercise and dredge up memories better left repressed, you'd have a long list of terrible things and you'd see a clear pattern: everything he does is more awful than the last. So it shouldn't come as a surprise, then, that the spoilers for upcoming AMC stories are so wretched that they spur a person to organize a large protest, or at least design an angry button to wear. You sunk my battleship, Pratt. And you sunk it hard. **Remember:SPOILERS will be discussed...

Mallory tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451b72b69e20120a6766a93970b 2009-11-10T19:55:55-05:00 2009-11-11T08:38:18-05:00

You know what I don't have enough of in my TV-viewing life? A character I've watched grow up on screen since birth, now a 17-year-old girl, being called a "stupid bitch" and then getting backhanded by her boyfriend. Thanks for filling that void, General Hospital! Your misogyny and lack of creativity are always so well-timed. And thank goodness we're going down this road with Kiefer and Kristina; nobody likes a fun teen romance on a soap. Always with your finger on the pulse, showru[n/i]ners. Fortunately, there was a little something to keep me from utterly hating today's GH... ...and that something is the wee but awesome Bruce Weitz. His portrayal of Daddy Zacharra's reaction to hearing that his daughter Claudia had gone off to the great Wilson's Leather store in the sky was brilliant[-ly awful and must have left slivers in his gums that remain to this day]. Also brill was Johnny's reaction. Brandon Barash must have been biting the inside of his cheek and digging his fingernails into his palms to keep from cracking up. Hat tip, sir. By the way, the first 15 minutes or so of today's episode wasn't shown here due to coverage of events at...

Becca tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451b72b69e20120a66c0a8b970b 2009-11-09T20:11:10-05:00 2009-11-09T20:11:10-05:00

If you happen to meet me, and I tune out during our conversation, please don't take it personally--I will merely be reflecting upon the pure, unadulterated and wholly unintentional amazingness of the ending of today's General Hospital. It was one of those soap moments where you can vividly imagine the episode's director wildly running to have the episode removed from his or her resume. Or you would be able to vividly imagine that, if you weren't busy laughing gleefully at how completely ridiculous this show is. LUCKY, enraged: You're sorry? You're sorry?! You're sleeping with my brother. You agreed to marry me, Elizabeth, and you're sleeping with my brother! LIZ, pleading: I'm so sorry. NIKOLAS, in a manner far too casual for a person who, unless he was experiencing temporary deafness and missed Lucky and Liz's conversation, knows that his brother now knows the truth about Liz and Nik: ...what's going-- LUCKY: (Randomly whips out gun and shoots) NIKOLAS: (Silently contemplates the fact that his brother just shot him--or maybe contemplates what to have Alfred make for dinner, because he doesn't seem at all shocked by this turn of events--for a full three beats) NIKOLAS: (Suddenly airborn) NIKOLAS: (Feet fly...

Mallory tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451b72b69e201287563342e970c 2009-11-08T18:21:15-05:00 2009-11-08T18:21:15-05:00

POP QUIZ When the theme song to this soap came on the other day, I said, aloud, to no one, "Oh, for the love of, I can't sit through this today" and hurried to change the channel to something more entertaining, which, in that case, turned out to be an E! True Hollywood Story about someone who was neither famous or connected to Hollywood. a) All My Children b) General Hospital c) The Young and the Restless Readers, the tragic answer to that question is c) The Young and the Restless, which you might have been able to guess since the horror I had over watching a full episode was relatively minor and nothing in comparison to the anxiety I experience about AMC and GH (for the record, my reactions to those shows are "KILL IT! KILLLLLLL ITTTTTT" and sobs, respectively). Is that not the saddest thing ever? Or at the very least, the saddest thing you've read in the past three minutes? It is! Just a few weeks ago, I was stockpiling Y&R episodes so that I could enjoy five hours of fabulosity all in a row over the weekend, as a prize for making it through the week....

Mallory tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451b72b69e20120a6ad5b03970c 2009-11-07T10:00:00-05:00 2009-11-06T18:57:08-05:00

(Continued from Part 1: I Love This Show) Everyone has different favorites, and character they love or hate for a million different reasons, but I feel like this storyline has a little something for everyone... to loathe. I would love to hear from people who are enjoying this, I honestly would. It would make me feel better. Everyone who watches daytime knows about SORAS (Soap Opera Rapid Aging Syndrome). It doesn't bother me. There's not much story potential for kids between the tiny-and-cute (and therefore generally kidnappable) stage and the old-enough-to-date-and-cause-trouble stage. Starr Manning is unusually un-SORASed (by a couple of years only) because Kristen Alderson worked out well because of the awkward ages and basically grew up on the show. They've aged Jack a few years (I'd say we're supposed to read him as about 12), but not too many since Starr is supposed to be much older than he is (and even fairly young audiences will remember how old she was when he was born, since his birth was a major story they love to ignore now). And they aged Sam a couple of years because clearly they found the cutest, most wonderful kid (twins, actually) to play...

Louise tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451b72b69e20120a65370da970b 2009-11-05T13:30:00-05:00 2009-11-04T21:08:51-05:00

So much to cover, so little time. Fair warning: this is going to be very, very long. Hence the two-part format. Feel free to skip all my tangents! I do have to apologize for not posting constantly, because the last several episodes have warranted (nay, demanded!) commentary, but I have been utterly baseball-obsessed. I do have to share this anecdote: so I'm out at a bar to watch Game 6 of the ALCS and some random other baseball fan strikes up a conversation with me about how everyone is divided between the baseball game on some of the screens and the football game on some others. The inevitable baseball-vs-football discussion ensues, and I'm talking about how so many of my football-loving friends think that baseball is about as exciting as watching paint dry and they find it unbearable that the teams play almost every single day. We're both saying we can't relate to that point of view, but that maybe if you don't watch enough baseball to get really invested in the nuance, a low-scoring game might seem dull while to us it's a riveting pitchers' duel. So he says it must be how daytime soap opera fans feel when...

Louise tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451b72b69e20120a6aa356a970c 2009-11-05T10:30:00-05:00 2009-11-05T07:46:11-05:00

Daytime Confidential's Melodie discusses Soap Done Good on ABC's One Life to Live (Daytime Confidential) First look: "Venice" images and sneak previews at Michael Fairman Soaps. (Michael Fairman Soaps) Guza may not acknowledge baby Emma's birthday, but he does listen and writes what the audience wants...in his own twisted way. (Scrubs Hub) It's November in Port Charles, and we all know what that means: kidnapping, murder and liberal use of the word "whore". Oh, GH Sweeps. How we hate you. (Serial Drama) The soaps goddess reaches out to General Hospital's Claudia Zacchara Corinthos. (Soap Opera Examiner)

Serial Drama tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451b72b69e20120a6aa1a46970c 2009-11-04T22:30:00-05:00 2009-11-04T21:21:20-05:00

There is so much I'd like to say. Like, how cute Lulu and Dominante are together (or at least how cute they are until the fawning over Sonny starts). Or how great it is that Jax finally has a child. Or how Olivia can't decide if she wants to be awesome or loathsome, and went back and forth about ten times today. Or how stupid it is that Jason is covering up what happened to Claudia, because that will totally end well (well, it actually will end well for Jason, because things always do, but it will be a long, terrible time before it ends). Or, I don't know, give my two cents on the past eight weeks of The Young and the Restless (I am a terrible blogger. I know!). But I cannot. Because: Michael, distraught because he feels responsible for the fact that his mother was kidnapped and forced to give birth (after a high-risk pregnancy) in a random cabin in the woods: No, no. I should have warned you. I knew she was dangerous. Sonny: That's not on you. Michael, also distraught because he USED AN AXE TO KILL A WOMAN HOLDING A BABY: I could have...

Mallory tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451b72b69e20120a6aa28a2970c 2009-11-04T21:29:51-05:00 2009-11-04T21:29:51-05:00

The very awesome Heather and Jessica of Go Fug Yourself and related fame mentioned us as #5 on their list of favorite time-wasting websites in the December issue of Marie Claire! How cool is that? We're so incredibly appreciative of the shout-out and their support for Serial Drama. If you have a chance to pick up the December issue (with Blake Lively's boobs on the cover), check out the mention and the rest of the Fug Girls' list on page 98.

Serial Drama tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451b72b69e20120a64c8c0d970b 2009-11-02T23:00:00-05:00 2009-11-02T20:56:00-05:00

I don't know if it's from a lack of sleep or the gradual death of my brain cells caused in no small part by prolonged exposure to the (non-OLTL) ABC soaps, but I have been completely oblivious to the world at large the past couple of weeks. We're talking "Walking into a wall...okay, fine, walls, and having long conversations only to realize after a few minutes that you have no idea what you've been talking about" oblivion. And I spent the better part of last Tuesday CONVINCED that it was Friday, and I wept bitter tears when I realized how wrong I was. No matter what my mental state, I do, at least, know what month it is, because I've survived enough GH sweeps "events" to know that (Hostage Taking + "You lying whore" + Police Ineptitude + Carly in peril) x 847 = GH November Sweeps Sigh. I knew that Sonny's puzzled reaction to the truth about Claudia's involvement in Michael's shooting wouldn't last and that we'd be in for a spittle-filled diatribe at full volume filled with awkward pauses and/or an amazing, emotional performance, depending on what you thought about Friday's episode. We live in an era of...

Mallory tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451b72b69e20120a6a22ee4970c 2009-11-02T20:39:16-05:00 2009-11-02T20:39:16-05:00

So, after Friday's General Hospital I was appalled (even a little more so than usual, which hardly seems possible or mentally advisable), and I chatted with Mallory, who was also appalled. The big "Claudia put the hit on Sonny that got Michael shot" reveal finally happened, and it was set up as a grand moment for Sonny -- the town hero, remember! -- to do what he does best, namely call his wife a whore and a bitch. Gross. But some people whose opinions I actually respect seemed to really like the episode, and Maurice Benard's performance in particular, so I am concerned that someone has swapped out my vitamin D supplements for crazy pills. Therefore, in honor of election day (in like three states that have no impact on me whatsoever), I will take the time-honored stance of a politician and decide what I thought based on a poll. Did I hate Friday's episode because it was yet again Sonny held up as the long-suffering, much-aggrieved town leader while an (admittedly loathsome) woman was called every name in the Big Book of Misogyny and townspeople nonsensically stood around in their formalwear at a party most of them had no...

Becca tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451b72b69e20120a6910c47970c 2009-10-29T23:40:25-04:00 2009-10-29T23:40:25-04:00

I just can't with this show. I hate it. All of it! Even aspects of the show that I used to reliably see as a beacon of light amidst the dark, dank majority of the show have driven me to the point that when I say that this show has robbed me of my ability to speak, I mean it. I know I often say "There are no words" and then follow that declaration up with a six thousand word screed filled with run-on sentences and hysteria, but truly, after watching today's episode (what with the Jake/Amanda/David inanity and skeeziness; Erica/Zach/Ryan drugging and emotionally manipulating Adam on the off chance that it will get Annie thrown in jail; Ryan existing), the only thing I can do is attempt to write a list of things I hate more than I hate AMC. And I could only come up with clowns, people who don't use turn signals and the song "What's Up?" by 4 Non Blondes! Am I being too critical? Does the show have any redeeming qualities that I am missing? Or am I correct in stating that it is the worst ever to ever be the worst?

Mallory tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451b72b69e20120a6330d22970b 2009-10-29T11:30:00-04:00 2009-10-29T11:30:00-04:00

Guiding Light and One Life to Live star Gina Tognoni dishes about her "exciting" return to One Life to Live with Daytime Confidential. (Daytime Confidential) This week the Pine Valley Bulletin takes on the "big reveal" of Stuart's killer. *yawn* (Pine Valley Bulletin) This week at The Scrubs Hub we have one simple question for you: What will happen next for Robin & Patrick? (Scrubs Hub) The Serial Drama girls are longstanding Jonathan Jackson fans, but think it will take some time to adjust to him as Lucky again. No amount of time, however, will make them adjust to his beard. (Serial Drama) Claudia's time is clearly running out of time in a big way these days in Port Charles...Sigh, if f I had a TRIGGER button on my remote control, Claudia would have been a done deal month's ago. (Soap Examiner) Sunday Surgery finds the Wubqueen pondering the blow-ups offering clues to the Franco mystery. Could it really be all about Alkazar--AGAIN? What do you think? (Wubs)

Serial Drama tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451b72b69e20120a6306411970b 2009-10-28T21:25:34-04:00 2009-10-28T20:57:24-04:00

Nothing can sum up my complicated feelings on Jonathan Jackson's return as Lucky better than this image: On the one hand: Jonathan Jackson! Exclamation point, exclamation point, exclamation point! On the other hand: Written by Bob Guza. Like, "...oh. Right. Well, this will be a debacle by the end of the episode." And on a third, mutant hand: the scruff. I didn't get to watch yesterday's episode live (which was super disappointing!) (Please reflect for a moment on the fact that I was sad to not get the chance to watch General Hospital live and send all of your pity my way. Thank you in advance.), but Becca warned me about how hilarious it was. And oh, is it ever hilarious. After I did watch yesterday's show, I agreed with B's assessment: underwhelming! And I was disappointed to feel that way, not least because I could almost feel myself circa 1997 giving present me an ice cold "Bitch, please" look. But it's true: after the initial "Eeee!!!" or seven, I started to worry that maybe this would be a complete clusterfuck. And while it's possible that it may, indeed, become a clusterfuck in the near future--and since this is the...

Mallory tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451b72b69e20120a6265834970b 2009-10-27T20:57:17-04:00 2009-10-28T07:56:15-04:00

Mallory really wanted to post about Jonathan Jackson's return as Lucky Spencer after today's airing of his first episode back, but she and her therapist were wary of her venturing back into multiple-personality land (it's never as fun as they make it seem on soaps!). So you are stuck with me, and -- Debbie Downer alert! -- while I enjoyed Jackson's Lucky very much back in the day, I was far too old to have a crush on him and therefore my assessment of his return is likely to have far less "eeeee!"ing than Mal's. I'm sure she will balance the scales at a future date. I have it on good authority that screencaps with animated exploding hearts are well underway. So, first day back. "Remember me?" was a terribly cheesy opener, but Jackson had the decency to look chagrined by that, so kudos. And then we cut to the credits, which readers have emailed to point out still include Greg Vaughan. How grossly cheap is this show?! It is bad enough that the credits have at least four dead characters in them, but really, you somewhat brutally fire a longtime cast member and then leave him in the credits...

Becca tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451b72b69e20120a679b416970c 2009-10-27T11:00:00-04:00 2009-10-26T21:20:52-04:00

The newest issue of Soap Opera Digest is on newsstands now, and in it is our latest My Take/ My Take, Too column. This month, Mallory continues to be all atwitter about the crazy casting news hitting the soap world: Thorsten Kaye, Beth Ehlers, Aiden Turner and Greg Vaughan are out, while Jonathan Jackson and James Franco are in, and she is seriously embarrassed to think about how long it must have taken for our editor to get rid of the approximately eight thousand exclamation points she had in her original draft. Meanwhile, Becca tries optimism on for size, and thinks of how great Jonathan Jackson's return to GH could be, especially if it coincides with Greg Vaughan landing a gig on the increasingly good Days of Our Lives.

Serial Drama tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451b72b69e20120a675af7e970c 2009-10-25T17:10:08-04:00 2009-10-25T17:12:31-04:00

Now, granted, my dog is exceptionally gifted, but I do think it's a problem if even a very bright Labrador is routinely sharper than your [inexplicably] critically acclaimed, "Best Writing in Daytime and No That Wasn't a Vote Tabulation Error, We Double-Checked Because SERIOUSLY," daytime drama. I had to watch about two weeks' worth of GH episodes while doing chores today. [Insert obvious joke about the real chore being watching this show.] So I thought perhaps I had misheard when, in the midst of sorting through paystubs from 2003 (oh, filing system, you are so cute sitting empty in my drawer), I heard Claudia say something so stupid that surely I must have mis-heard. So I rewound, but nope, she actually did say: Claudia to Sonny: Maybe you could take me somewhere. Show me off a little bit. We are in Puerto Rico – the city of excitement and fun, lights. Ah yes, Puerto Rico, City of Lights. I think I heard that on travel commercial once! It's like how France is the City of Caribbean Sea Views and Chicago is the Windy Country.

Becca tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451b72b69e20120a61895a8970b 2009-10-23T20:53:45-04:00 2009-10-23T20:53:45-04:00

If General Hospital continues to play "Mad World" at the end of every episode, I will be forced to update my list of Things General Hospital Ruins Without Even Trying and add Tears For Fears, Donnie Darko and Adam Lambert to a list that already includes cake, babies, Facebook, smackdowns of Jason Morgan and, of course, brain cells. Curse you, GH! The song is, of course, being played in teaser scenes for an upcoming story that I believe may be the one involving James Franco, but I don't now for sure. Actually, all I now for sure is that a character is obsessed with Jason (this is not at all surprising. After all, why should the new character be the only one on the show not obsessed with Jason?) And that character also has very nice handwriting. Six seconds of neat printing is the only thing I found to compliment this show on. I smell a repeat Emmy win next year! The big story of the day was, of course, Jason finally uncovering what he long suspected and what he was on a lifelong mission to prove: Claudia "First I was thrown under the bus, and then they reversed the...

Mallory tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451b72b69e20120a6158e1d970b 2009-10-22T20:07:53-04:00 2009-10-22T20:20:29-04:00

I'm having a difficult time wrapping my head around the reveal of Stuart's murderer. Not because I am surprised--it's been heavily telegraphed the past few weeks to the point that even Reese, with her blindness and complete obliviousness to the world around her (how sad is it right now that I can look back on the Reese era of this show wistfully?) and even before that, many people guessed that Adam was the culprit. No, I am having a problem coming to terms with the fact that one soap opera storyline could be infused with so much rot. The decision to kill off Stuart was terrible. The half-assed setup for the murder itself, with the dark and stormy night, and the hysterical raging at Adam for circumstances almost entirely out of his control, and the parents leaving the side of the child they thought was dead to go confront someone who was not responsible for the death at all, was terrible. Turning the death (violent, of course) of a much-beloved character into a story almost completely about Kendall being suspected and eventually imprisoned, kind of, for a crime that she only wanted to, but did not commit (because Kendall hasn't...

Mallory tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451b72b69e20120a66973be970c 2009-10-22T11:30:00-04:00 2009-10-22T11:30:00-04:00

Daytime Confidential's Jamey Giddens interviews The Young and the Restless star Wilson Bethel. They talk about his role as Ryder, working with Sean Kanan and Greg Rikaart and Generation Kill. (Daytime Confidential) Kimberly McCullough and Jason Thompson's General Hospital Scrubs Team raised $44,878.10 and walked for AIDS Walk LA last weekend, and are currently in top positions individually and as a team. Check out the great pictures from the event! (Scrubs Hub) Elizabeth Webber's polka dot cardigan has been the sole highlight of GH this week, which has led the Serial Drama girls to wonder if the show should change its name to "Stupid people doing terrible things in an uninteresting fashion." (Serial Drama) The extended dragged out "Stu-Murder" mystery is driving me up a wall. On top of all of this, the totally irritating promo ABC continues to run about the real murderer being revealed has been way over done and frankly, it's turning my hair gray. (Soap Opera Examiner) Great weekend for Wubs! AIDS Walk LA, scoops, tweets and news are all up in the Sunday surgery. (Wubs)

Serial Drama tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451b72b69e20120a665a7ea970c 2009-10-21T21:15:24-04:00 2009-10-21T22:27:26-04:00

While I have no factual basis for asserting that any of the stars of All My Children are bored, I am willing to wager that this entry's title is actually an understatement, if anything, because this poor group of actors has literally done nothing for the past few months but say the exact same lines of dialogue in every scene they are in, and if it is cripplingly boring for me to watch, can you imagine what it is like to have to constantly repeat those poorly written lines about hating Annie, or hating everyone who hates Annie, or Madison being a life ruiner, and whatnot? They probably lose little pieces of their soul each time they report to the set! I certainly lose little pieces of my soul each time I sit through a full episode which, to be perfectly honest, is rarer and rarer these days, as I've taken to fast forwarding maniacally when I'm disinterested. This led me to once finishing an episode in three minutes... Ryan, to Annie: You lying, manipulating, twisted bitch. Ryan was completely correct in his assessment of Annie, and I have described her underdeveloped, soap-crazy, overtanned self using those same terms, but...

Mallory tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451b72b69e20120a60baed2970b 2009-10-20T23:39:34-04:00 2009-10-21T00:14:56-04:00

Even if you and your husband-to-be are having your third wedding, and even if these nuptials are, like the ones that came before them, doomed to fail spectacularly since you actually have no desire to marry your husband-to-be, it is still important to spend quality time with your in-laws, so it's not wrong, exactly, that Luke and Liz spent a good deal of time today bonding over shared interests and habits. What is wrong is that they bonded over...being miserable in lives that they never wanted. At an engagement party! What the what? Liz, to her credit, knew how blatantly inappropriate the conversation was and flashed Luke one of her patented awesome facial expressions when he said... Luke: He will. I'm very happy for him. I'd like to be happy for you, too, but I...I get the feeling maybe you're not as sure about all this as he is. (It was very "We're going there? Really? Here? I don't think that's what you want to be doing") but that didn't stop the douchery. Elizabeth: This time, Lucky and I are gonna make it. I know we will. I want to be married to him. I really do love him. Luke:...

Mallory