tag:typepad.com,2003:weblog-1275800 2012-05-24T20:49:56-04:00 We mock soaps out of love. And hate. But mostly love. TypePad tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451b72b69e20168ebc44671970c 2012-05-24T20:49:56-04:00 2012-05-24T20:49:56-04:00

I just want to make sure that I'm understanding this correctly--it's entirely possible that I'm not and that I am, in fact, missing every single point, not because General Hospital is a deep and layered television program (I scoff a loud "HA!" at the very thought), but more because I often end an episode temporarily debilitated because of banging my head against a wall. Sonny is angry that Starr threatened to kill him and responds by...threatening to kill Todd in between raging some more about Starr? Sonny: You have a death wish, running that stupid little mouth of yours, challenging me in ways nobody would ever dare to...giving me options. Well, I've settled on an option, Manning. I'm going to kill you right now...[...]Michael and I are going to send your daughter to prison for attempted murder. I mean...we're supposed to come away from this with a renewed sense of Sonny hatred, right? Because that is just the worst of ALL possible things and the only thing keeping me from turning this from a mini-screed to a maxi-screed is Todd's completely unimpressed and also, hilarious responses to this prolonged tantrum. Like, "Yeah, yeah, okay, you're sticking my body in a...

Mallory tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451b72b69e2016305caab61970d 2012-05-24T09:57:27-04:00 2012-05-24T09:57:27-04:00

Look at Bill, sitting there basically twirling his mustache (I love getting to use that on a character who actual has a mustache for real for once!), listening in on a young girl's private therapy session and planning to exploit her most personal weaknesses so that he can further play puppet master in his douchenozzle son's life. I love him! Okay, not seriously. He's a total ass, and his mockery of women who actually have imperfections and problems is hilariously ironic considering the dude is one giant walking mommy issue. (Again, so dying for Katie to have a girl!) But I can't help it. I'm feeling warm and fuzzy toward him at the moment. And all because of this: Deacon!! Bill's going to bring Deacon back! ALL IS FORGIVEN. Okay, I know I know, rumor has it his return has turned into just a visit, and it'll only play into the triangle I'm always complaining about. But for now? I get Sean Kanan back on my screen and I will never complain about that. Also, more grownups! And so now just for fun, here's a little stroll down Deacon Memory Lane!

Louise tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451b72b69e20168ebbc0e29970c 2012-05-23T19:57:23-04:00 2012-05-23T19:57:23-04:00

I'll take an up-and-down episode over one that's all down any day of the week. Today was a bit of a back-and-forth roller coaster, so it's time for a Serial Drama list.... NUTS: Sonny gets to be right about Johnny. And he gets to learn that after "giving him some credit" today and revising his opinion. Damn. BERRIES: Tracy is actually in a real storyline, not just a stupid comic subplot. NUTS: They still haven't pointed out how easy it should be to convince a court that killing Lisa was completely justified. Sure, Felicia pointed out that Matt's attorney could argue extenuating circumstances, but that this is the first time it's been mentioned just illustrates the insanity of this storyline from its first moment. BERRIES: They're not letting people just forget about Robin's "death" just because we've moved on to new storylines. Anna sobbing over shampoo that smells like Robin was a lovely realistic touch. I might've sniffled a bit myself. Might've. NUTS: Oh crap. Daytime's 3,984th "we keep the actor on to be a kooky and wacky ghost" story! Can't freaking wait. BERRIES: Felicia actually got a morsel or two of decent dialogue today! NUTS: Is anyone buying Carly's...

Louise tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451b72b69e20168ebb304b0970c 2012-05-22T21:31:11-04:00 2012-05-22T21:31:11-04:00

These are things I learned about Johnny Zacchara today (in order to save my fingers from the carpal tunnel that would surely arise after typing the following ad nauseum after every point on this list, please imagine that each item ends with the words "--what. What? WHAT?! And this happened because--because why? Why?! HORRIBLE. HORRORSHOW. HORRORSHOWIBLE"): Johnny shot out Anthony's tires and is responsible for Hope and Cole's deaths, which is basically terrible because it means that Sonny was right to jump to the most anti-Zacchara conclusion in a matter of second and anytime Sonny is proven right about something, a small piece of my soul withers away. Also, it's terrible because, you know, a young father and a toddler are dead. Johnny tells stories to dying people in the most dramatic fashion possible, complete with flashbacks and a gravelly voice and extremely dramatic segues. Johnny: There she was in my face, as always. Connie. Just like she's always been. Johnny: The idea came to me right away. The best one I ever had. Johnny: You know at first, Connie wasn't really on board with the plan. It took a little convincing. Because, you know, that's how I tell stories....

Mallory tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451b72b69e2016766aceb29970b 2012-05-22T10:24:29-04:00 2012-05-22T10:31:56-04:00

Thankfully, yesterday's The Bold & the Beautiful alleviated a few concerns about the new storyline regarding Karen and Danielle: turns out they were not in the closet when they lived in New York City (at least since the death of Karen's father), and that the only concern in L.A. is Bill, who Karen is (understandably) concerned will be as judgmental about it as their father was. That said, my question is this: so? It still seems odd to me. The explanation suggested that Karen's father made her stay closeted by basically blackmailing her regarding her career and her ownership shares in Spencer, but that's all done now so I'm not sure exactly what Bill could do to her. Anyway, obviously this is much more about Caroline and how she's dealing with it than it is about Karen and Dani since Karen and Dani are totally grown women and this is B&B so, you know, eww. So Caroline and Thomas had their little chat about it and were so utterly enamored of each other's open-mindedness and compassion that they had a little heat-free kissy-face, after which Thomas immediately left. (I'm assuming to go ring-shopping.) Well, Thomas, you should know better than...

Louise tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451b72b69e20168eb96c706970c 2012-05-18T10:12:02-04:00 2012-05-18T10:16:13-04:00

It's not that I won't forgive holes in soap stories; I will. I do routinely, in fact. Not being able to forgive holes in stories and demanding real-world logic of soaps at all times would make for a very frustrated (and undoubtedly brief) viewer indeed. But gaping holes are excusable if they exist to serve a great story. And in the case of the Murder of Lisa Niles? Oh, we have a big problem because this story is so far from great that not even the great Jason Morgan and John McBain's omnipotent spidey senses combined would be able to find their way without a detailed map. Just to scratch the surface of the many issues I'm finding insurmountable: Let's start with a small one. According to Spinelli's insistence that Maxie is a peace-loving, do-no-harm type of gal, she won't even use makeup tested on animals? That must be difficult in her industry! Especially interesting since she wears animals routinely and apparently, according to her comment to Matt in yesterday's episode, eats foie gras. You know, like all animal rights activists do. I hear it's the nightly dish at the PETA convention buffets. Spinelli has now filled the court in...

Louise tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451b72b69e20167668fccba970b 2012-05-17T10:22:13-04:00 2012-05-17T10:34:40-04:00

Y'all. Yesterday's The Bold & the Beautiful wasn't about Steffy and Liam and Hope! I mean okay, Hope was on the episode, but not talking about Liam or Steffy and therefore far less irritating! It was incredibly exciting. That said, the titular "Okay" is in reference to what we got in the Neverending Triangle's place being... okay. I mean if this is the next couple we're getting? Okay. They're not awful, they're not great. In fact, they're incredibly bland. It speaks volumes about how sick I am of the usual storyline that I found the featuring of such a milquetoast pair to be a huge relief. Thomas can go listing all the wonderful things about Caroline he wants to, but it doesn't make them true. According to him, she is allegedly "smart, beautiful, funny, and sophisticated yet down to earth." Okay, Thomas. To me so far she's pretty (albeit way too skinny, and can she please get out of that awful yellow dress with the weird blue skeleton-enhancing waistband and matching wristband?) and stands up straight and speaks English. I look forward to this "funny," I do! One thing we have learned about Caroline is that she's into terrible vampire...

Louise tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451b72b69e20168eb8ac8c5970c 2012-05-16T10:00:20-04:00 2012-05-16T10:00:56-04:00

Starr, come here. No, closer. A little closer. I have something important to tell you. No, just a little bit -- Shhhhhhhhhhhh. SHHHHHHHH. Be quiet. My lord this girl. I get that she's dealing with unspeakable tragedy and all that, but give us a break, please! People know that death means you'll never see someone again, Starr! Oh and also, Starr, you are not the first person you know to experience something incredibly tragic! In fact, most people you know have experienced something incredibly tragic! Recently, even! It's May now. If memory serves, the accident was in February. Can we ease up on the grief rage? I'm not saying it's unrealistic, I'm just saying it's tedious as hell to watch and try as I might, I've been having a tough time sympathizing with her. And that she's mad at her family now (all except the one family member who encourages her to hold on to her rage and get revenge) because they're trying to get her to continue living and trying to provide comfort to her is... it's not helping. Nothing's helping right now. Silence would help. You know how Patrick's grieving by hotly self-destructing quietly in his home? Try...

Louise tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451b72b69e20168eb86a0b1970c 2012-05-15T18:52:58-04:00 2012-05-15T18:52:58-04:00

Be careful what you wish for. There cannot be a single viewer of The Bold & the Beautiful who hasn't wished super-hard for a storyline other than this program-devouring Hope/Liam/Steffy horror show. There really cannot. Tastes vary, so I'm sure someone out there likes the storyline, but those viewers can't possibly think a one-plot daily soap opera is the strongest choice. However, a subplot in which Caroline is totally freaked out beyond all reason that Rick wears dresses and makeup (which he doesn't, but Amber's set it up to look that way -- marking possibly the first time ever that Amber's instincts about how someone would react to something were bizarrely dead on) is not my idea of the proper fix. And sure, sure, now they're trying to backtrack a little and say that Caroline isn't so shocked and startled that he likes to dress like a lady (Caroline, a young woman who supposedly grew up in New York freakin' City and has claimed to have literally never seen a man in heels) (as a New York City resident, allow me to assure the writers [some of whom have probably lived here] that, sorry Caroline, it's rare not to see...

Louise tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451b72b69e2016766749393970b 2012-05-13T10:49:00-04:00 2012-05-13T10:49:00-04:00

One of the many things I love about soap operas is the comically low standards the characters and writers have for good parenting. Sonny Corinthos, for example, occasionally says positive things about his children and has only shot one of them, so he's constantly lauded as the greatest parent in all of Port Charles; his ex-wife is probably the runner up, referred to constantly as a great mother because...she seems to like Joss? Which, you know, who wouldn't?! The late and spectacularly unlamented Babe Carey and her equally repellent mother Krystal stole and SOLD children on All My Children and all people could talk about was how these two were the pinnacle of motherhood (the months since AMC's cancellation has not at all lessened my hatred for these two fictional creatures). But there ARE some good mothers out in soapdom, and in honor of Mother's Day, I'd love to know: who is your FAVORITE soap mom? Biological mothers, adoptive mothers, mother figures, mothers who live entirely offscreen, mothers who are actually terrible but get treated like icons. Let's list away!

Mallory tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451b72b69e20168eb6ae015970c 2012-05-10T19:31:08-04:00 2012-05-10T19:48:56-04:00

Well, I hate to go with just a snarky straight recap again, but until this show moves out of this one never-ending storyline, there's really not much else to say or do. So here we go! Casa Bridge. Hope wants Steffy to explain why she's awfully smug about Liam. Steffy flashes back to the not-at-all-overdramatic tearing up of the annulment papers. Bill is still trying to convince Liam to break up with Hope. Caroline and Katie come in and immediately take off, knowing the menfolk need to have an important discussion. This is no place for ladies! Credits. Katie is listening in as Bill continues to pressure Liam to break off the engagement. Bill thinks that Liam kissing Steffy means he doesn't really want Hope. (But does Liam kissing Hope means he doesn't really want Steffy? No, because this is Bill we're talking about.) Brooke and Ridge wonder what Hope and Steffy are discussing, and Brooke picks on him for being unwilling to design Hope's wedding dress. Brooke doesn't seem to understand why Ridge would be reluctant to do this, despite his daughter being in love with the groom. Steffy tells Hope that Liam did something in Aspen that made...

Louise tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451b72b69e201630569e298970d 2012-05-09T19:45:43-04:00 2012-05-09T19:45:43-04:00

I admit I have extremely mixed feelings about Todd Manning on General Hospital. Sure, part of it is that it's bittersweet to see any Llanview residents in Port Charles because it serves as a reminder that One Life to Live is no more. And in many ways it would be easier on my heart just to imagine the characters living on happily with their families. And while I really love Todd Manning as a character (I phrase it that way to emphasize that I find him compelling, not that I think he's a super-swell guy who I'd really root for in real life), my very favorite thing about Todd Manning just happens to be Blair. So it's hard to see him without her -- even broken up they're better in each other's orbits than outside of them. Not to mention one of the coolest things about how they've developed his character over the years is that they resisted the urge to turn a gray-hat former gang rapist into some heartthrob who went from hot relationship to hot relationship. We've only ever seen him with Blair and with Téa (and in both cases, these were not typical romances by any means),...

Louise tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451b72b69e2016305600d9f970d 2012-05-08T21:45:06-04:00 2012-05-08T21:45:06-04:00

Even though I like to consider myself an understanding person, which is a self-assessment that just caused everyone who knows even the slightest bit about me to burst into peals of scornful laughter, I see where Sonny is coming from here. I know, I can't believe that I typed that either, but really: if my significant other did something outrageously hurtful (like cheat on me) or unspeakably offensive (like occasionally adopting a Rosie Perez accent and spackling cosmetics on by the truckload) and then explained it away as being the actions of a split personality, I wouldn't know what to make of it. I like to think that unwavering support would be one of my reactions somewhere along the line, but it would probably follow reactions like Shouting "What does this look like, a freaking soap opera?!" and staring, wordlessly, in confusion and texting my friends "Can you believe this lame-ass excuse?!" So I'm not quibbling with Sonny's reluctance to believe that there is a Connie, or even some of his anger. What I am quibbling with is what a freaking child he is, always and forever. Sonny: You went and banged my enemy! On my birthday, no less. He...

Mallory tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451b72b69e20163052f8123970d 2012-05-06T09:28:00-04:00 2012-05-05T21:52:11-04:00

I don't even want to think about how many minutes--nay, hours I've spent trying to put a fresh new spin on the same sentences. Writing something clever about Kelly Monaco spending the end of, literally, every General Hospital storyline ever tied up and looking miserable was easy back in 2006, when it only had a slight "Been there, done that" vibe and Sonny being held at gunpoint got stale a good few years before that. So when this week's run ended with both of those situations happening AGAIN, I rolled my eyes, gritted my teeth and started writing down nonsense sentences like "repeated repeatedly, in a repetitious manner" and planned a few references to Groundhog Day because, yeah: Sam was tied up. And Sonny was held at gunpoint. BUT! To be fair to the writers, while there is a minor sense of deja vu happening here, these stories aren't total retreads. I mean, yes, Sonny being on the wrong end of a gun is a total rerun of years past, but when you consider that he's so firmly entrenched in a life of crime and is a horrible human being to boot, his being held at gunpoint doesn't happen nearly...

Mallory tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451b72b69e20167661cba5d970b 2012-05-04T10:29:37-04:00 2012-05-04T10:25:47-04:00

Well, Steffy has finally signed the annulment papers. Hallelujah, this storyline is finally over! Just kidding. We should be so lucky. Considering this... ...was Liam's response to the news, I imagine this is far from over. Years from over, as if we've all committed some terrible, terrible crime against humanity and this is our punishment. I'm going to have quite the headache if Liam fights Steffy on this. He's constantly impressed by her big turned-into-a-magnanimous-low-maintenance-saint-overnight turnaround lately, and I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if he just loves having both of these women on the hook. (Not that I don't welcome this change in Steffy. While I don't think Jacqueline MacInnes Wood is exactly the next Meryl Streep by any means, she's got presence and charisma and is a hell of a sport with some of the embarrassing material they give her ["Cha cha cha!"], so seeing Steffy evolve into a spitfire with ethics who doesn't get all scheme-y and pathetic over a loser like Liam would be a welcome change. I am not, however, holding my breath.) In the meantime, we did actually get a good scene with some good dialogue (in this storyline?? I know, right?) in...

Louise tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451b72b69e201630516061b970d 2012-05-02T19:53:13-04:00 2012-05-02T19:56:06-04:00

I'm practicing my "doctor breaking the news" speech because there's a new opening at General Hospital in Port Charles, New York. I hear it's a tough town and tends to be overrun by the mob, but I actually hear the particular mob that's generally winning the various mob wars is made up of saintly hitmen and mob bosses who really, really love their children. So it can't be all bad, right? Wrong. So let's start with the bad news, shall we? Starr is back. She is looking for Sonny, the man who killed her family, "unless he dint." As she put it. Is that mean? I'm feeling mean. Anyway, she took Johnny's gun, so is of course off to do something really smart and fun. Jason is still an ass. Getting excellent advice from both Elizabeth and Sonny to actually try to be patient and listen to Sam and show her some compassion in the wake of her trauma, well... it didn't stick. He walked into his house and started yelling at his wife within seconds. And it's still about her talking to John McBain, just after he has reported Sam's personal business to two other people. After telling Sam...

Louise tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451b72b69e20168eaf440fa970c 2012-04-30T21:26:34-04:00 2012-04-30T21:26:34-04:00

That's not to say that the show is without its flaws (see below for a list, and by no means an exhaustive one, of flaws with this episode, an episode I happened to enjoy quite a lot. I...am a mean-spirited complainer of a person, I realize), but I do have to take a second to marvel at how easy it is to sit through an episode of General Hospital in which Sonny and Jason don't make appearances. Right? Normally by the time the credits roll, I've already began to wish away the next 58 minutes of my life, but on days like this, the only time I fast-forward is to get through the commercials and back to the show as quickly as possible. It's a world gone mad! Well...not totally mad. It's a world gone very slightly crooked. Because as much as I liked today's show (the things I type that I never imagined typing!), I still have quibbles. Like: why the hell would Dante, without a single shred of evidence (or, evidently, any real understanding of how to manage the behavior of nutters! Screaming and threatening is very rarely effective, Falconeri!), tell Ronnie every single one of the suspicions...

Mallory tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451b72b69e2016765e5f6e9970b 2012-04-29T19:06:04-04:00 2012-04-29T19:06:04-04:00

That's all. That's how to end a Friday.

Louise tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451b72b69e2016765b79819970b 2012-04-25T21:26:21-04:00 2012-04-25T21:27:28-04:00

I gave GH the regular recap-as-it-goes treatment yesterday, so I felt it was only fair to subject treat B&B to the same delight. Standard opening shots of the city. Steffy is packing stuff and her hair is still too light. Brooke walks into Steffy's office and glares at her. This doesn't faze Steffy and, although I loathe Steffy's embarrassing preoccupation with Liam, she's pretty hilarious responding to Brooke with such amusement. Hope and Liam are making out on the private jet and the male-model/pilot -- -- says they'll be ready to take off as soon as Steffy, their other passenger, arrives. Hope seems trashed, though she's not. The team in Aspen is setting up for Aspen Fashion Week (is that a real thing ever?). None of these people are played by actual actors (I have to assume) so it's pretty torturous to watch. AspenOliver gets a call from Bill about "getting the job done." Credits. Short version. So apparently Bill's genius plan is to have the press attack Hope like never before. Bill complains to Justin, smugly (as if he could do it any other way). Hope and Liam get all saccharine with each other some more on the jet....

Louise tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451b72b69e20168eaaa3d41970c 2012-04-24T20:09:05-04:00 2012-04-24T20:14:42-04:00

Well y'all, I've made it up to the opening credits of today's General Hospital and it's clear to me that the only way to keep my sanity and sort through my feelings on it is going to be to just recap it as we go. To catch us up: Ewen's trying to figure out why Kate didn't show up to commit herself, Sonny's barging in on Johnny and Konnie in bed together (after a hilarious moan from Konnie that Sonny heard from downstairs, a moan so silly that I'm continuing to cross my fingers that this whole thing was staged and Johnny is not really that gross now -- I mean I know he's a mobster, but does he have to be a super-gross mobster in such an appealing package?), Michael is referring to Franco's rape of Sam as "all that craziness with Franco" because that is a respectful way to speak to a rape victim about what happened to her, Alexis is trying to chat with Jason (good luck), and Liz is lurking. Credits. Commercials. So... where was I? I kind of got distracted by "Johnny" and "appealing package" in the same sentence. Oh, Konnie looks kind of freaked...

Louise tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451b72b69e20168ea85896e970c 2012-04-22T10:33:00-04:00 2012-04-22T10:33:00-04:00

There are some days that I find myself so uninspired by the events on General Hospital that I have literally--literally!--nothing to say. Nothing. No things. I try! I do. I sit and look at a blank TypePad screen and I attempt to write, like, "And then Spinelli..." but I am so profoundly uninterested by whatever it is Spinell is doing or has done that I can't even muster up the energy to straight up recap it. (There are also some days and some storylines in particular (like, say, F****o being Jason's t**n--I can't actually type those words out. My fingers won't let that sentence be a real thing) that I can say plenty of things about but those things are semi-intelligible and outraged, not pithy and hilarious, but posting it would be proof that my detractors are right and I DO need to take a walk, get some therapy, etc.) And then there are times that I watch twenty seconds of this show and am overwhelmed with things that I want to say in ALL CAPS and italics and with lots of interrobangs. Kate-Connie, gasping for air as if she'd just run a marathon which, hey, maybe one of those...

Mallory tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451b72b69e20168ea634381970c 2012-04-19T09:15:00-04:00 2012-04-19T09:15:00-04:00

I guess I really cannot resist just posting lone screencaps that speak volumes and volumes today. Because: Trapped MirrorKate! That was some of the funniest shit I have ever seen. I am just so happy right now.

Louise tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451b72b69e20168ea62f819970c 2012-04-19T08:30:19-04:00 2012-04-19T08:30:19-04:00

It's not as if they could repeatedly show this image on yesterday's episode and I could, as a living human with a sense of wonder and awe, actually resist posting a screencap. And so without commetary: Enjoy.

Louise tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451b72b69e201630457f9db970d 2012-04-18T10:35:24-04:00 2012-04-18T10:35:24-04:00

When I'm watching B&B, I frequently have to remind myself that these Spencer men are supposed to be great heartthrobby catches. And when I remember that, I realize that I'm just not living in the same paradigm B&B is asking me to and so it is inevitable that I'm going to spend many of my viewing hours frustrated, lost, disoriented, and baffled. Or, you know, with bile rising in my throat every time a Spencer dude appears on screen. Which means a lot of bile for ole Weezie here because they are daily fixtures, especially Liam. Liam is currently in a committed relationship with one woman and spending much of his free time talking about the problems he's having in said committed relationship with another woman who refuses to let go of him (and at this point, who can blame her? He's given her zero indication that he's done with her). Oh and yesterday we got the, "Oh in the good old days when Liam and Steffy were together they had such great times! He never laughs with Hope!" treatment, equipped with goofy facial expressions just in case we hadn't gotten the anvilicious point yet that Steffy is now the...

Louise tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451b72b69e201630451b3ab970d 2012-04-17T21:16:39-04:00 2012-04-17T21:16:39-04:00

It's true that most of what unfolded, story-wise, on General Hospital today was the opposite of compelling. "Oh, yes! It's the one where we find out if Sonny, the central character on this show whose various misdeeds are swept under rugs and hidden with posters saying 'Yeah, but he LOVES his kids! Especially Michael and Dante, but also the other one! Two! I mean two!', is going to go to prison for a crime he did not commit. Wait, it's also the one where Sam and John McBain have a variation of the same conversation they've been having for two weeks? All of this AND more about the exotic dancer attacks that not even the actors involved can feign interest in*?! This is way too much entertainment for one hour!'** But it's equally true, if not more true, that I had absolutely no problems rewatching this episode today solely for the CAH-RAZY facial expressions that marched in the epic parade of overacting. Well, contorted eyebrows and fearsome snarls are one way to inject entertainment into a storyline whose conclusion we all saw coming the day it began... The other way to entertain? Turn Sonny's emotional stuntedness and ridiculous immaturity from...

Mallory