seriously! are u joking???

Patna

2011-11-06T11:31:00.000-08:00

Gawd! the artsy me is back.. in bits & pieces. Thats something to be positive about. I am reading a novel and am hell bent on finishing it. I search music, try new songs... and repeat the ones i find ad-infinitum, till i can hear em no more. I click pictures and a whole lots of em. Movies are to the bare minimum & so are the serials. The very fact that i gathered courage to write a blog post confirms the same.

Other than that, Patna tour has crushed my hopes of MBA. I dunno, i am not doing good in procs.. and i have just eaten and slept last few days.. read 300 pages of A fine balance... listened to songs &blah-blah(ed) with relatives in festivities. Gained 2 Kg's :(

A challenging time waits ahead for me in Bangalore. Finding a new home. Exams. New Assignments at work. Life's changed.

**************

Btw this song(princess of china)... gawd! this song is awesome! the parts where rihanna sings..

"Cause you really hurt me
No you really hurt me
Cause you really hurt me
No you really hurt me
Cause you really hurt me
Ooooooooh no you really hurt me
Cause you really hurt me
Ooooooooh no you really hurt me...."

are so so... close to touching the heart... the encore is just painful. Brings out memories seldom remembered, the dead & buried...

The show goes on...

2011-10-11T12:29:00.000-07:00

(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rmp6zIr5y4U&ob=av3e)

Its been over an year now, since on a breezy cool Friday evening i landed up in Bangalore, unsure of the forthcoming. Gladly was in purple haze the very next day, boozing away to glory. Times spent have been... of all things... fresh... Every other Saturday night was another benchmark of awesomeness to be breached the very next. Pubs, restaurants, weekend out's ... gawd! i have cribbed so much over the beauty of the life in college, only to look back now and face a year spent doing things, i imagined were never to be in my life. From foreign trip to car trip. Drunken New year Party to Friday Horror nights.

I miss ppl from college. I miss college. I miss home. But i have AP & Nig for the partners in crime.And life's still a whole lot fun & new things every other WEEKEND.

Need to find new things for the weekdays.... The show goes on...

the roller coaster

2011-09-14T09:56:00.000-07:00

Lifes a roller coaster. Takes you on a ride. And if you've ever been on one, then you know!

You start off slow. Then there's this slow ascent taking you to a high point. While reaching the high-point, being there on the high-point, there's always this fear. The thoughts... "Whoa! i should never have been here!" "ah! i am taking this ride cause of this idiot, who forced me to accompany"... "never again! never again!"

And before you know it, you are going down, real fast. real real fast. The G's pulling up on you! The fear- all getting real.... And finally the low. Theres nothing that the ride can do to you now, when you get there. Its gone! the fear! The worse! Youve seen it! It was the fall that was scary. The transition. Now the low.

Then on, its a ride up! any movement only takes you high. The exhilaration,of rising up. Sometimes we forget it was that very fear of going down that caused this exhilaration of climbing up again. & sometimes when we do, its what we call "nostalgia".

Lifes on that high point now. I am going to go down. I was rising up all along. This is the high point for this cascade. Will go down, and will again rise up! Up! Up! so high....

(pic: The T-express, everland, Korea)

http://idongiveashit.blogspot.com/

2011-09-07T21:48:00.001-07:00

Aweomeness is Back!

2011-08-31T03:45:00.001-07:00

i shall let the pics do the talking...

Specs

Dell XPS with 2 gb Nvidia Geforce 540M + 6gb Ram + Core i5 sandybridge processOr

Cooler master Ergo Stand

Altec Lasnsing Octave 7 - 2.1

Frontech Mechanical Keyboard

logitech wireless mouse

GAME ON!

Thanks

2011-08-23T08:29:00.000-07:00

I remember a day, when all hope was lost.

Life was sad, glum.. on a train, returning back... scared... but without a choice... no where to go...

i dunno what would've happened, had he not trusted in me. Well i could not muster enough confidence to trust in my own self...

But like a movie climax, on that sad, gloomy evening, on a train, while the sun set.... i was given hope.. He said he trusted in me & would like me to try again & not loose hope.

It changed everything.

Thanks for trusting in me, Dad! I haven't done as good as you expected, but hopefully i will do better.

I remember to this day & probably will, all life long.

longing..

2011-08-12T10:33:00.000-07:00

Come with me tonight, this feelings i hide...

spinning inside....
Take me to a place... our bodies go fly...
I get high................ sky.....

************************************************

just when things go all right.... i got frnds in korea now... real deal... gems they are... all drunked up.. enjoying... movies.. sightseeing... games... endless chatter.... all the good life... and then it friggin ends!

Crap! X-(

Sigths Smells & Sounds (part 1)

2011-08-01T06:08:00.001-07:00

Having spent more than 40 days in korea, life is more or less settled to a routine. And with routine i have come to accept the change in the daily ways of sights, smells & sounds. Following is what i see each day...

Sights

I venture out to see world every weekend from my small self sustained pigeonhole of a guesthouse room. I've more or less got a near complete superficial exposure to the Korean way of life. The people i have settled to observe on a daily basis are by all means hard workers, by habit. They come to office on time, leave late & work more. If free on weekends, will willingly spend 4-5 hours in office, doing if not some work, then simply planning what to do next :P.

The roads are clean & well marked & well lit. Streets, except those of office campus, are more or less empty. Hardly people anywhere unless its a market or a community park, or somethin.

In the markets the sights of small restaurants with large fish tanks filled with all kinds of aquatic life... fishes to octopus to squids to eel's is common. You can order what you see :).

The place is filled with huge apartment complexes. Each complex is a set of at-least 10 - 25 storey buildings. And the whole city is literally cluttered with so many apartment complexes. The reason for this, as i guess, would be that this whole city is build with winters in mind. A lone house is costly to warm. Apartments are a means of warming economically.

The best about the things you can see here are the chicks. *take a bow*. Matlab, they are all so well dressed. Mini-Skirts & super-short hot-pants & short dresses are the staple casual attire. High heels are as common as "hawai" chappals in India. Curvy they might not be, but they all look pretty :P. The other thing to write home about is that women here come in only two age groups... either young or old. Women here seem to skip something we call middle age. Its really hard to spot a middle aged lady here. The reason for that would be,

1) consumerism.. theres a whole world of cosmetics here. Markets have these huge shops selling ONLY cosmetics and they are just about everywhere. And so are the beauty salons & cosmetic clinics. A pseudo economy of sorts survives on beautifying women,

2) Well there are just too many girls. And less guys.. more competition :P (just guessing :D)

Btw yes, the nights are not dark here. They have a hue of yellowishness all throughout the night. The days are also long. Infact strangely very long, the sun sets at around 730! which literally translates to the condition that its still fairly "undark" till 8-830.

Night of a thousand checks..

2011-07-30T05:54:00.000-07:00

1) Visited THE most happening clubs in Korea (4 no's)-------(check)

2) Public tit flash on dance floor(random chick)--------------(check)

2.5) Loudest-most flashy dance floor ever seen--------------(check)

3) Hottest damn crowd (streets overflowing, literally thousands

of college crowd, foreigners & nothing less

than 50% bandi's)-------------------------------------------(check)

4) Hottest chinki junta on the planet-------------------------(check)

5) Shortest skirt seen---------------------------------------(check)

6) Skimpiest evening gown seen-----------------------------(check)

7) Awesomest chinki dancers seen doing awesome steps-----(check)

8) Streets filled with porche carrera, merc SLR's, aprelia, ducati,

lotus,.... brands i dunno but looked awesome....--------------(check)

9) Drunken dancing for 5 hours continuous------------------(check)

10) Staring in to the eye of a hot chinki while she looked back

straight in to yours (successful line maro attempt)-----------(check)

11) Applauded by junta on dance floor-----------------------(check)

12) Surrounded by hottt dancing chicks while i sat in a corner having

my drink----------------------------------------------------(check)

1000) (beep)................................................................ (/beep)----(check)

no more

2011-06-26T06:34:00.000-07:00

a darkness engulfs this soul.. caressing before the kill... dripping blood... smoke everywhere..

wastelands of mind dip in the shallowness of soul...

seeking redemption from the bonds... young and old.. pains deep & cold....

faces float.. from memories and places long long gone....

passion craves & longing begs for a touch of skin or a sight forgotten so old..

laughter & shenanigans, that once formed the day & nights never came...

when the things were new & experience was rare..

i wish i wish so hard, i plead.. seeking innocence that i always lost, never gained..

or give me a medicine that this depth, this sorrow goes..

or takes me with it & the ways that people told..

it seems ive seen it ive done it all..

things i always lost & blots that never were gone...

i seek no glory no honor no love no pain..

i dont i just dont want to live no more..

Madness

2011-06-24T08:06:00.000-07:00

Having my first experience with madness here... I knew it was coming.. i was preparing.. and it has arrived.

They work like ass here. and they want to make me an ass.

the summary is...

Theres an issue. Theres no help.. no device... no logs to check how & what... they want me to fix issue based on code. BY TMRW MORNING. no matter what. :D

Only makes me laugh.

its 12:10 am... and i dont forsee leaving office for next 5 hours... and i think my weekend is lost... no saturday or sunday... :(

Such is life.....

i only hope, this broadens my horizons... i feel that its only those things that stretch a person beyond his realms.. push him.. can make him strong to face life, in ways more mature that others...

Yossarian's Trip (Part I)

2011-06-20T04:32:00.001-07:00

Seems am the proverbial(#catch 22) Yossarian... long lost, aimless sent on the front lines of a raging war... where the only aim, wish and prayer is to do a safe mission, return home the next day.

Day 1 in Korea has turned out so far so good. Place is awesome to say the least. Squeaky clean streets, every amenity to make living easy, gawd awesome infrastructure.. and a 22 mbps connection at room says it all. I have no work till now, and it wont be the same in near future by the time Anu leaves for India.

Work is the only negative here, they say. They work till 10 at night on usual days and up to 12 at-least 3 days a week. Am mentally preparing myself to do that 6 days a week for at least 2 months ahead. MBA hopes are also to be kept alive.. if i sail through this with decent study hour(s) each day, gawd i will swim oceans some day.

Koreans are cool btw (things other than work hours). Wear mini skirts and shorts which are like.. well.. really short ;). And many of em have this thing with wearing heels. Never seen so many wearing such thin long heels, and yet managing a decent gait.

Food is a piss off. Language too. You cant read what you are eating, and anycase there's nothing much to eat even for a faux-vegetarian like me. And no one speaks English. Hindi is far cry... we literally use slag all the times in office in Hindi (eg. Ye to pagal hai.. iska naam murgi hai... ye rhino hai). Such is life...

Will be posting pics... soon.. tada till then. :)

what happened to life?

2011-06-02T12:46:00.000-07:00

am i dead?

i dont talk to ppl. i dont want to meet em.. greeting and hi-hello is a pain. Am growing socially incapable by the day. i look 4 ways to bypass people without the trouble of a small talk.. its just beyond comprehension or reason.

i want to keep frnds & relations i had & never move on... sadly their life has :(

its so hard to maintain a thread of "relationship". the disconnect just sets in... slowly like a deep freeze it drives a chill in what used to be warmth of companionship. there are hardly things to talk & contentions of connect. i am so used to it, every time dad got transferred nd i changed a school... its a been there- done that affair, yet its unbearable every new time.

office is a dynamic place... you never work with the same people.. team changes, people join & leave... you get sent on assignments, others come on assignments... trainees.. koreans... indians... HRs...

its been ages since ive been Home... home. "home is where heart is" ... i dunno where my heart is... in to what... i have awaited for saturday the 4th of Junefor eternity now, nd now that the day is just about to arrive i am literally joy-less... its same ol social awkwardness... uncls... aunts... cousins... hi hellos he he ha ha...

******************

time destroys everything. as you grow up things get taken from you... you realize... sooner or later... "things" could be material or immaterial lil joys... things which seemed fascinating remain so-nomore... bars pubs branded clothes.. laptops... graphic cards.. games... bikes... cars... fancy colleges.. high life.......... they are all just things.. and when you get em, you want em no more... they are just things.

too much partying and you dont want it. to much game and you dont like it. too much good food and its tasty no more.... too much adventure and thrill goes...

i cant have things, i learnt & i dunno how to "have" people..

***********

am i dead?

Ruchi is leaving

2011-04-11T09:49:00.000-07:00

Am homesick. And work everyday in office is killing me. Daily deadlines... new devices and their crappy problems... P1, P5, U1, T1, Stealth...... CRAPPPP! Phones are CRAPPP!!!

Fights with dodo...

And if there was something left, now ruchI is leaving. Amongst the few times i really miss home is now. :(

Though a hosteler, i never was one in true spirit... for i spirited away to the cozy confines of home, every weekend. Missing home or frnds was never that effected me much. Hence that feeling of loss never stuck me... or may be that bonding was missing in some bits that mattered. And now that Ruchi had become such an integral part of our "Bangalore family", its saddening beyond words when she is leaving so fast so soon... just 2 days.. not even a weekend to bid good byes...

I only have endless positives to say about her. Probably the coolest adventurous gal Ive *ever* met in this lifetime. And high chances wont meet any other... I hope she succeeds in whateve she does... and her "corporate" at Coke takes her to heights... that she could easily get my future offsprings to do intern at her place... :P

Will surely miss her in all the spirit, vivacity.. and chirpy bubbliness she was! Bangalore would never be the same :(

Bye Ruchi

world is a small place

2011-03-21T10:13:00.000-07:00

It really is..

I had this batch-mate of mine. we studied together for like a year or so in Kolkata. We werent some close pals or anything... just knew him.. played chess with him a few times. Defeated him to gain glory as a chess whiz back in school. And then he left school.. dad got transferred et al..

So few days back i saw this guy in a frnds frndlist, so i sent him a frnd request. And today just as he accepted the frnd request, what i see is that his wall sports a pic, in delhi, in metro walk(where ive spent quite some time... a lot of my 4 yrs at college), of his, with a girl, who happens to be one of my good frnd's ex-girlfrnd. :P

Yeah! its pretty far fetched. But then again... even so i hardly would ever expect it.

STRANGE (:D) and small, of course!

#That frnd of mine, btw, is munching away in glory ;)

For Sachin

2011-03-06T11:01:00.000-08:00

Really dunno, why i stopped blogging. The fountain stopped and the water was no more rushing out... like it used to. And now i know why sachin does not write.

Flash back 3 years and i was in Tinsukia, Assam, after a grueling-adventurous-slightly monotonous 54-HOURS long train journey. With little to do other than Maasi's food extravaganza, sleeping and watching prison break, all i did was to Read Sachin's Blog

(http://thesachingarg.com/about_sachin.html), which sadly is not there.. now and write my own.

Man! i was so big a fan of his... his life in dce... his adventures and his love life or the lack of it... his placement problems to frivolous flirtations with life.. i read his blog through and through within 3 days and then may be re-read it twice... thrice. I was in awe of him. And wanted to be him. Wanted his life.

But what really soon dawned on me was that he had stopped blogging.. he was out of college... in to another one... may be writing his book... And i was unable to grasp why he could ever stop.

Ive never read a sunny shady life.. probably never will... i like real stories... like his and his blog (was).

and off lately i see even my blog count has crossed 4000... certainly pretty insignificant...nothing infact. but still i wonder if people see the relics of this nothingness... my college life and if they even feel any hint of what i felt.. the exhilration that excitement... the realization that "they are doing some abhishek"... like i wanted and did "some sachin garg" with my life....

Only makes me wonder...

we all believe that our times were so great and wonderful and unique... and yet we are all part of that same cycle.. which repeats over and over and over again..

The terminal

2010-12-25T21:09:00.000-08:00

F*%ed up Spicejet has done a "the terminal" on me!

Boarded a train last night.. reached here early 7(screwed up railway had to drop me on time!). Had a flight in the evening 5.

One message: your flight has been delayed by 3 hours and "we deeply regret the inconvenience!"

and my pain is prolonged by another 3 hours... :(

its been 3 hours and i still have 9 more hours to go... i have luggage.. & i have wait :(

hmmm

positives... i have laptop, FB, Internet, Java Headfirst and money for food and food for thought (what the fudge happened that am so screwed?)

i know this is not the first time am stuck and there are times ahead where i might be in worse situations... So just trying to remain positive. Eat, FB, wait and watch latest episodes of HIMYM and BIG BANG and CALIFORNICATION :)

hoping the ordeal comes to an end sooooonnnn.. amen!

New found love

2010-10-13T10:17:00.000-07:00

Amongst all other things what i cherish the most, amongst what Bangalore has bought into my life is GYMing.

Ive always aspired... to be be an idealist. I know ive failed miserably on all counts... and i am not a step headed even in the direction where i want myself to be in, as an idealist (following a set of beliefs that one prescribes to, at-least he thinks he aspires to follow )... and i hate myself for not being even a beginner there.... Yet somewhere down in the heart of my hearts i love ideals... the very spirit of following an ideal, a principle... a belief and the idea to uphold it in one's life, come what may...

So coming back to GYMing, i think this is where ive taken the very baby step towards even starting towards following an ideal. I had never attempted GYMing in my life. Always day dreamed about it once in a while, but never gathered enough courage to actually step into one. And now 15 days since i first stepped in to one, GYM turns out to be a place, something i never imagined.

The bedrock of the very foundation of GYMing is the idea of being true to oneself.

There the only person one is competing with is himself. The very benchmark one wishes to cross is his own, challenging once own limit. Ofcourse, one may be inspired by someone else to be able to develop muscles/stamina like him, but then again, to get there the competition is only with one's own limits.

I feel this very feeling... a feeling of purity... when i try to jog that last 500 metres on the treadmill... or those last 8 counts of dumbell... or the last 5 counts of ab crunches... I feel an ablution, cleansing me a lil... beneath all the many lies that i tell to myself everday... all the lies i "do" to myself everyday...

you ever dressed up?

2010-09-25T14:09:00.000-07:00

Have you ever dressed up and waited for someone???

its so coo... i did once :)

i think am gonna remember it for life... like things that you never forget..

antiquity

2010-09-25T12:05:00.002-07:00

antiquity is coo... ( was actually looking fir VAT 69... not lucky this time... just like lewis nixon was... in band of brothers... episode- "why we fight")

talkin bout antiquity... you can actually smell the caskets in which it aged.. smooth... "velvety" if you can call it that...

accentuates the melody of anything you listen... just like any good drink should do...

"electric blue eyes" - cranberries

*****

missing college for the first time.. since a long time.... since i left college...

:'(

missing a lot of things...

i miss the coterie of my group... i miss classes (which i missed anyways :P)... i miss stupid profs and lecturers and their super stupid lectures... i miss missing lectures... i miss sitting at OAT... i miss being with friends... i miss dodo... i miss campus... i miss that shitty-crappy weather of Delhi... i miss the walk from hostel to college.. i miss the super tasteless mess food... i miss the super spicy "rajma chawal" of punjabi dhaba.. i miss people... i miss acquaintances... i miss people who i never met but knew they belonged to the my year... i miss the class room and the dysfunctional AC's... i miss the ocassional daaru party.. i miss being unemployed even after an year if placements.. i miss my lone hostel room... i miss barua... i miss RM... i miss aastha and her antics... i miss nigam and his company.. i miss amar and his room... i miss anupam dadhi and the way he was.... i miss ap, the way he was in college... i miss rashmi and the bold self she was... i miss silky and the weekend frivolities.... i miss cc and the group tasks of labs which myself aastha ap and ankita did together... i miss plying LAn games... i miss bhalu and his most most most amazing company.... i miss bhaskar and his carefree nature... i miss maneet and his punjabi self... i miss the innocence of first year... i miss avinash and group( chchp, jhatu, mishra)... i miss saksham his games and his most affable nature... i miss night walks in college... i miss end sems.. i miss end sems... i miss cs, RON, halo and the way i played em in college... i miss the way i was... i miss the way people were... i miss the way the life was.. i miss delhi.. i miss maa :'( i miss papa... i miss bhaiya... i miss home cooked food.. i miss the way maa scolded me... i miss the washed and ironed clothes without any effort.... i miss the life without any responsibilities...

i miss myself amongst those people in that place in those ways in those times...

i feel alone and lost in new city amongst people i dont know... i cant trust... i donno whom to talk to and how to behave with people i dont know... i dont know what where and how...

I I I....

Namma Bengaluru

2010-08-24T23:13:00.001-07:00

So here i come Bengaluru... here i come in a couple of days...Hope you acknowledge and accept me with open arms...

Ive lived in south India for the most part of my childhood, and my memories are all awash with the sights ,smells and flavors of Andhra. Bengaluru, though different would be somewhat similar as i expect. New place, new people... am scared. Yet the presence of college friends would certainly be a lot of help.

I just hope transition is smooth...

truth...

2010-07-21T11:03:00.002-07:00

"To the heart and mind, ignorance is kind
there's no comfort in the truth
pain is all you'll find..."

Rajnikant facts

2010-07-02T13:07:00.000-07:00

(here's something i found online)

Top Rajnikant Facts Published

* There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Rajnikant has allowed to live.

* Outer space exists because it’s afraid to be on the same planet with Rajnikant.

* Rajnikant counted to infinity - twice.

* When Rajnikant does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down. (God help me.. i cant take this anymore)

* Rajnikant is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

* Rajnikant doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is. (LOL)

* Rajnikant gave Mona Lisa that smile.

* Rajnikant can slam a revolving door.

* There are no races, only countries of people Rajnikant has beaten to different shades of black and blue.

* Rajnikant’s house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.

* Rajnikant can divide by zero.

* Newton’s Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction,

there is no force equal in reaction to a Rajnikant turnaround kick.

* When taking the GRE, write “Rajnikant” for every answer. You will score over 1600.

* Rajnikant has 12 moons. One of those moons is the Earth.

* Rajnikant grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.

* Archeologists unearthed an old English dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined “victim” as “one who has encountered Rajnikant”

* If you Google search “Rajnikant getting kicked” you will generate zero results. It just doesn’t happen.

* Rajnikant can drink an entire gallon of milk in thirty-seven seconds.

* Rajnikant doesn’t bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.

* It takes Rajnikant 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.

* The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Rajnikant kicked one of the corners off.

* There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Rajnikant lives in Chennai.

* Rajnikant once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.

* James Cameron wanted Rajnikant to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.

· Thousands of years ago Rajnikant came across a bear. It was so terrified that it fled north into the arctic. It was also so terrified that all of its decedents now have white hair.

purpose of life

2010-07-01T00:33:00.000-07:00

What if the purpose of life?

Before more is discussed, i think what needs to be pointed out is that the question

is not actually one. But is a set of three. Each connected and answered by the other

1) Where are we?

2) What are we?

3) Why are we?

The purpose of life is only a manifestation of the above three eternal-immortal queries. And the question can only be answered if only one could ever understand the answer of the three queries.

It’s a question that has been asked and answered and asked again, then answered again many times in history of our consciousness. Religions came to existence and exited. Philosophers pondered and proposed theories. Scientists have come to prominence in our age and they too have their reasons. Yet whatever be the time, for ages it has been the very hallmark of our consciousness. The ability to ask the very question.. Why? What is the purpose of this life?

What is the purpose? For each-his own, the question persists in the mind of each living human and he seeks to find the purpose of life, his life, in his works, his religion, and his philosophy and above all in his life.

Religions define the purpose of life essentially as worshipping the lord almighty and on the sidelines often suggest doing well to others as the purpose of life. They define the purpose of life to be thankful to the lord almighty for his very creation, i.e. us and this world around us. From Hinduism to Christianity to Jainism to whichever religion one may name, all of them nearly follow a similar path to redemption and meaning of the question.

Philosophers throughout ages have thought and pondered and have come up with philosophies ranging from absurdity at best (there is actually a philosophy called absurdism) to very intriguing and answering ones such as theories of existentialism , humanism and epistemology. These theories in their essence have been results of hard thinking by our greatest thinkers. And it isn’t hard to find many answers in them. Yet the biggest of the shortcoming of these theories is the fact that they still cannot answer the three eternal questions of What? Why? and Where?, All together simultaneously and satisfactorily.

This is the age of science. In the last 200 years which we have changed so much ( i wonder if we can call it a progress). And fields of science have developed at a rate unprecedented, Be it astronomy to biology or physics. All the branches of these developments in the core of their curiosity only seek to answer the very queries of what? Why? and where? And for the moment there has been no answer.

I think we don’t know for sure. No one can claim that he alone is correct and the other view

is incorrect.

If one understands and appreciates the view that us Humans are imperfect creatures. And Have our own biases and views, one can clearly understand that each one of us looks at our lives with a different point of view. To some life is merely living and to some it is seeking something through life something which is beyond life.

To sum it up, I think the answer is stares right in our face. To each-his own, life has its ownpurpose its own meaning. We humans and other life forms are life. We live, procreate and die. Us gifted humans unlike other life forms also have aspirations and our curiosity. And to seek out to those purposes and aspirations and curiosity is the purpose of our lives in spirit.

Thus although we may not be able to answer the question of where’s and whys and what’s of our lives, yet fulfilling our curiosity and aspirations and our feelings in essence remains something that we all aspire for. Thus it is our purpose. Life is living.

The question which was thus answered remains unanswered...

Immortality

2010-06-10T23:22:00.000-07:00

College has come to an end. From last year to last month, from last month to last week, from last week to last day... The ending of the end has ended.

Gosh! sometimes it feels its all over. Everything. If not everything then, at least everything that i called college. But most of the times i don't even want to think on those lines. Endings and partings and sadness and happiness or whatever. Mind has its mysterious ways, now i know.

And more than often i think how this could be the new beginning. A new life. A life where i have the freedom and opportunities. Opportunities to explore things and do things the ways i wanted and in the ways i dared not. New friends and new people. New things to learn and new things to do. Sometimes this feeling of being in the newness of things is so overwhelming i often have this feeling to leave everything and everyone so so back (with only one exception)....

The journey to "Tinsukia", Assam ... The long journey. The loneliness and sometimes abominable often amenable lull... All coming back to life.

*****

With placement in a mediocre company, something the least DCE has on offer, theres often a heaviness at heart. Feels bad a lot of times. I dunno what to name this feeling. Jealousy or anger or injustice, i don't know. Yet a lot of times, it does seem that it has happened for something good. For something good to follow. At least i can, many a times feel that lightness of being the beginner, an underachiever again. Afraid a little. But with a curiosity to try out things. And not much worries of loosing out on anything.

*****

College was immortality... Seems am back... Living. :)