Servant's Diary

That Conversation You've Been Avoiding

2012-02-10T19:40:00.000-05:00

5 Common Fears That Make You Want To Avoid Confrontation

Does the thought of having that conversation with your boyfriend bring sweat to your brows? What do you do in a situation where you know something needs to be said, but you're not sure if you should follow your heart, feelings, thoughts...or what?

That dreaded word, "confrontation," is actually a good thing. It can actually be an opportunity to grow closer to someone. Before you continue worrying about how that person may respond, remember this:

"Speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ." (Eph. 4:15 NIV)

Ignoring that big elephant in the room--we've all been there. Confrontation is not easy. But, for relationships to flourish and grow it must happen. And God knows this. Relationships are very important to him.

"So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift." (Matt 5:23-24 ESV)

There's an entire book dedicated to healthy confrontation by Henry Cloud and John Townsend called, "Boundaries Face To Face." They have an entire series on boundaries in relationships. If you haven't heard of them I highly suggest checking them out.

One of the things I'm personally processing through is discovering what internal fears are driving me to avoid speaking the truth in love like God counsels me to do. Cloud and Townsend say that when people have had some bad experiences in relationships they tend to avoid conflict and confrontation altogether--it's because of fear.

Here are 5 fears they list in their book:

1. Losing the relationship: They fear that the person will withdraw either emotionally or physically from them.

2. Being the object of anger: They don't want to receive someone's rage or blame about being confronted.

3. Being hurtful: They are concerned about wounding the person and hurting their feelings.

4. Being perceived as bad: They want to be seen as a nice person, and they fear they will be seen as unloving and unkind.

If you identify with any of these fears, I encourage you take the time to find out where these fears are really coming from. I suggest starting with praying to God to search your heart, like David did:

"Search me, O God, and know my heart!
Try me and know my thoughts!
And see if there be any grievous way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting!"

(Psalm 139:23-24 ESV)

I think if we can resolve our fears, and fear God over all, confrontation can come from a selfless and loving place in our hearts. Speaking the truth in love with someone you care about can change your lives for the better.

Have you had to confront anyone lately and did you deal with any of these fears?

Boundaries Face To Face can be found on my Amazon Store: http://astore.amazon.com/sersdia-20

Christmas: A Wonderful Surprise

2012-01-13T12:00:00.000-05:00

Personal thoughts I journaled over Christmas break.

Life is interesting, filled with surprises. But the greatest surprise is to be surprised by grace. God's grace abounds. He's full of mercy, love, compassion for us. It is never His intention to harm us. That's not in His will for us, though in this life, on this earth, we will have momentary trials, He promises us that these are merely momentary, and have no comparison to what is ours in Christ Jesus and what the eternal side of our lives will be like. It seems like a long waiting game sometimes. But then again, ask someone in their old age and maybe they will still be able to find things they regret not experiencing, not saying, not doing. Time still passes, as slow as it can be, as fast as it can be, it does not stand still whether we want it to or not.

When Christ was born, entering the scene of our world, humble and in the form of a babe...the angels warned us to not be afraid. Whatever may come, there is hope. A Saviour is here. A savior of our souls, a lover, a groom, one who would come to love us to the end, sacrificing His purity for our filth. Making a great exchange, because of a love so great, so unending, never failing, relentless, untiring. We are now reborn into a Kingdom unshakable. There is an open invitation to the greatest banquet of all time. Come, sit, dine. More than what you are even yet capable of desiring is yours. Imagination beyond your imagination. Beauty and glory your human eyes would perish from peeking at. A gift you cannot lose once received. A gift that can never be taken away from you. A gift you can share with others.

Mary pondered these things in her heart. A woman in a society where she had not much of an identity. A young lady in a land where righteous men had the right to stone her to death for being pregnant with child before marriage. This is the way Jesus chose to enter our world. He stepped down from his throne.

God is perfect. Perfectly loving and good. His kindness came before us.

Eternity is written on our hearts. I love being His child. It makes the story of life so much more sweet. Though I see the bitterness, I am not a citizen of this world. No longer am I a slave to sin.

Jesus was born, died, and risen so that we can hear Him say, "Welcome Home My Child. I love you. Welcome Home."

Waiting On Him

2012-01-05T00:11:00.000-05:00

“Often a Christian man or woman falls prey to that cruel and vexatious spirit, wondering how to find marriage, who, when, where? It is on God that we should wait, as a waiter waits--not for but on the customer--alert, watchful, attentive, with no agenda of his own, ready to do whatever is wanted. 'My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from him.' (Ps. 62:5 KJV) In Him alone lie our security, our confidence, our trust. A spirit of restlessness and resistance can never wait, but one who believes he is loved with an everlasting love, and knows that underneath are the everlasting arms, will find strength and peace.”

― Elisabeth Elliot, Quest for Love: True Stories of Passion and Purity

What To Look For In A Spouse

2012-01-01T16:53:00.001-05:00

After finishing Tim Keller's book, "The Meaning of Marriage," I found myself still asking this question, "So what do I look for in a potential spouse?"

I went back to see what I could come up with as gleaned from the book. I still believe physical attraction is important, but am I missing out on discovering the qualities and characteristics I should truly seek in a person? Am I guilty of eliminating people with beautiful character by scanning a room based on looks and polish?

Here, I will remind myself and share with you what to keep in mind during the marriage-seeking season.

Jonathan Edwards tells us that, "true virtue in a person--contentment, peace, and joy from the gospel--is beautiful."

I want to learn to find myself attracted to one's spiritual fruit.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. (Galatians 5:22,23 ESV)

Tim Keller urges us to look at these things in a person: Character, mission, future self, and mythos.

What is a mythos? It can be described as books, places, music, pastimes--inconsolable longing, things that get you in touch with the Joy that is God. Sharing this with someone is a wonderful experience, I think.

When you meet this person, get to know each other in aspects of family, church, and community life.
-deeper everyday life to evaluate character
-serve together
-fellowship and bible study together in community
-worship together

Also, ask yourself if you've made it past the infatuation stage with this person:
-have we been through and solved a few sharp conflicts?
-have we been through a cycle of repenting and forgiving?
-have we each shown each other we can make changes out of love for the other?

One more thing I suggest is to get mentorship and friendship from a married couple before and after marriage.

The Goodness of Singleness: Excerpt From, "The Meaning of Marriage"

2011-12-10T10:44:00.001-05:00

I'm about half-way through Tim Keller's new book, "The Meaning of Marriage." And even though I read a lot of material and study the biblical meaning of marriage, this book is still blowing my mind, convicting, humbling, and resetting my heart back to God's purpose and desire for marriage.

Here's a piece of encouragement for you single peeps! An excerpt from chapter 7, "Singleness and Marriage."

"The Christian church in the West, unfortunately, does not seem to have maintained its grasp on the goodness of singleness. Instead it has labeled it 'Plan B for the Christian life.' Paige Benton Brown, in her classic article, 'Singled Out by God for Good,' lists a number of common ways that Christian churches try to 'explain' singleness:

'As soon as you're satisfied with God alone, he'll bring someone special into your life'--as though God's blessings are ever earned by our contentment.
'You're too picky'--as though God is frustrated by our fickle whims and needs broader parameters in which to work.
'As a single you can commit yourself wholeheartedly to the Lord's work'--as though God requires emotional martyrs to do his work, of which marriage must be no part.
'Before you can marry someone wonderful, the Lord has to make you someone wonderful'--as though God grants marriage as a second blessing to the satisfactorily sanctified.

Beneath these statements is the premise that single life is a state of deprivation for people who are not yet fully formed enough for marriage. Brown responds along the lines of Paul's 1 Corinthians passage: 'I am not single because I am too spiritually unstable to possibly deserve a husband, nor because I am too spiritually mature to possibly need one. I am single because God is so abundantly good to me, because this is his best for me.' That fits perfectly with the reasoning and attitude of St. Paul. Christianity affirmed the goodness of single life as no other faith or worldview ever has."

---

So, what are your thoughts about this? Has it opened your eyes to anything? Feel affirmed? Disagree? Have something to add on to this? Please share in the comments!

Authors@Google: Timothy Keller

2011-12-05T13:01:00.000-05:00

Finding A Spouse In Church

2011-10-21T17:30:00.000-04:00

Finding A Spouse In Church: Every Christian's Dream, But Pretty Much A Dead End!

"People who met their spouse at church or a place of worship were just as happy as those who met on eHarmony, but keep in mind only about 6% of people meet their spouses that way." -EHarmony.com

Look at the image above. It's a typical church newsletter. You've got plenty of event choices pertaining to being or getting married, or even having been married.

But if only 6% of successful and happy couples meet at church, does that say something about the effort of the church to cultivate healthy and loving relationships before they even form? It's almost as if the message is, "We don't have much for you unless you go find a spouse...then you can come join us and we'll have plenty of programs for you to choose from. Yup, because we'll help you once you get one, but as far as finding one, you're on your own."

Maybe there would be less of a need for a DivorceCare program if the church payed more attention to the singles in their church than chasing all the married couples...because HELLO, 94% OF YOUR PEOPLE AREN'T MEETING IN CHURCH. And maybe that needs to change, because according to a study through EHarmony, how you meet your spouse matters:

A couple meets:

In a Bar 24.14% higher risk of divorce
Work – 7.61% higher risk of divorce
Social Event – 6.25% higher risk of divorce
Match.com – 4.35% higher risk of divorce

Friends -5.95% lower risk of divorce
Church -11.76% lower risk of divorce
Family -14.81% lower risk of divorce
School -41.07% lower risk of divorce

eHarmony -66.67% lower risk of divorce

Here's a YouTube clip on what John Piper thinks about using the internet to find a spouse:

There's Nothing In The Bible About Dating

2011-10-15T18:19:00.001-04:00

Tim Keller gives this Q&A talk on whether dating a Non-Christian is "ok" and makes the point that there is nothing in the bible about dating! So what can we glean from scripture about dating or relationships at all? Listen on in the clip below to find out.

Nervous about a first date? You can view my post on "5 Ways To Glorify God in Dating"

Here's another talk from Pastor Tim Keller: "Is There A Biblical Commandment Against Pre-Marital Sex?"

You're A Leader

2011-10-13T12:38:00.001-04:00

...shepherd the flock of God that is among you, exercising oversight, not under compulsion, but willingly, as God would have you; not for shameful gain, but eagerly... (1 Peter 5:2 ESV)

If there was a conversation going on between Jesus and I a few years ago you would hear it going something like this:

"Christina, you're a leader."

"No, Jesus, I'm a servant only. Right? I'm following you're lead."

"Yes Christina, you are following my example by serving others which will lead them to Me. That makes you...a leader. Go and make disciples of all nations. There is nothing else to wait on. I am with you 'til the end of the age."

"Yea Jesus, but I'm a woman. I'm not supposed to lead. Wait, you mean like start a children's ministry?"

*Jesus shakes His head*

"Ok Christina, since you are a willing child, I'm going to be gracious with you here and place you in a Pentecostal church for a while."

"Ok, Jesus. :-)"

-------------------------------

I'm learning more and more that a woman can lead from where she is--wherever God places her. Because He gives us special grace to do whatever we are called to do. He is with us, always. And leadership comes in many forms, oftentimes in ways we wouldn't define as leadership. Service is the secret to leading and leading well.

What does it mean to you to be a leader? Are you running from the call to be one? Are you surprised to find that maybe you are one?

The Mystery of The Gospel

2011-10-12T18:00:00.000-04:00

This mystery is that the Gentiles are fellow heirs, members of the same body, and partakers of the promise in Christ Jesus through the gospel. (Ephesians 3:6 ESV)

Like a child who has always had this inheritance, I find it difficult to understand the “big deal” of this “mystery.” I find it hard to understand why this was such a mystery? Is it really about Jew vs. Gentile?

Why did God keep this as a mystery for so long?

Maybe it’s about people realizing it’s not by works but by grace through faith. No matter how successful, no matter how poor, no matter how sick, no matter how healthy, no matter how popular, no matter how alone...you are welcomed into God’s Kingdom. You can be made Holy and stand in God’s presence by simply receiving the gift of Jesus Christ. Even more, He dwells in us.

Maybe it takes getting into moments of realizing how undeserving I am and how great of a gift I have to truly appreciate the revealing of this mystery. What things in my life am I allowing to hold me back from living in His Kingdom come on earth as it is in heaven? Perhaps I have mindsets based on lies masking themselves as normal and true, masking themselves as my identity. Mindsets holding me back from seeing more of His glory right now instead of thinking I must do more to get there.

It’s like the tree of knowledge of good and evil in a land of abundance and intimate fellowship with God. I’m focusing on what is not entitled to me. Ignoring the great gift that is given to me, that belongs to me. Forgetting that I belong to Him, and it is sweet to depend on Him. This tension must exist in order for me to have a choice to love Him in return. Or else it would not be love.

Do Angels Eat Food?

2011-10-05T12:46:00.000-04:00

Man ate of the bread of the angels; he sent them food in abundance.

(Psalm 78:25 ESV)

Ok, I know there's a deeper moral to this verse, but it's got me wondering...

Do Angels really eat food?

Did this verse inspire Angel Food Cake? They probably wish sometimes their "angel bread" tasted like our earthly spongie and slightly sweet angel food cake. Hmm, do angels get to eat dessert? Do they care for it? Maybe they are pretty disciplined and have to stay really fit so they can be better warriors and fight off demons with good stamina. Maybe the more we pray the more they work out.

Meet Me At The 2011 Blogger's Meetup! October 5th, 7pm

2011-09-07T22:55:00.000-04:00

Calling all Bloggers and Catalyst Fans...come on out to the 2011 Bloggers Meetup next month on October 5th happening at California Dreaming. You'll meet some awesome people from those avid bloggers to those just thinking about blogging, blog reading fans, and usually "big-time," full-time bloggers like John Saddington, Tyler Stanton, and Jon Acuff. Because we all start out as just people putting our thoughts out on the web. You never know where it could take you! There is power in blogging.

Chris Allen, Founder of iServe.org | John Saddington of Tentblogger.com | & Me! @ Last Year's Bloggers Meetup

Poke The Box: Don't Hold Back What God Created You For

2011-09-03T10:24:00.000-04:00

Poke The Box by Seth Godin. It's about being an initiator. It's about staring down your fears because in order to succeed you will need to look forward to failing. In his book Seth describes excellence this way:

Excellence isn’t about working extra hard to do what you’re told. It’s about taking the initiative to do work you decide is worth doing.

We can look at all the characters in the bible and decide they weren't qualified to contribute anything meaningful in this world. We could assume that they were not worthy to carry out God's purpose or receive His goodness. King David was a murderer and adulterer, Elijah struggled with depression, and Peter denied Jesus--not once but 3 times! The list goes on.

Through His Son Jesus Christ we are qualified to run the race and win. Victory is actually guaranteed for those who are called according to His purpose. So why wait until we "have it all together" to START?

If you are walking with Christ in faith, press in to your passions and desires and believe God has put you here on this earth to start something and finish it well. Yes, you might fail before you succeed. But the greater reward is building your faith and growing closer to Him along the way--all the while helping others to do the same!

In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven. (Matthew 5:16 ESV)

And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ. (Philippians 1:6 ESV)

For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them. (Ephesians 2:10 ESV)

__________________________

RELATED POSTS: 7 Points of Experiencing God

(Book By Henry & Richard Blackaby): http://www.servantsdiary.com/2009/09/experiencing-god-by-henry-richard.html

Sex Before Marriage and Christians on eHarmony

2011-07-08T14:29:00.002-04:00

"Sex Before Marriage" is a term that 49,500 people search on Google every month. In Atlanta, GA alone that number is 22,200 (10,000 of them probably being youth pastors looking for sermon materials).

I think most people, Christian and Non-Christian, know that sex before marriage is not openly accepted in the church. But most Christian peers are turning their heads to the issue while others remain confused, rebellious, or under informed.

My last post featured a great 3 minute talk from Pastor Timothy Keller on some of this matter. (Check it out here: Sexual Compatibility )

I'm returning to this subject because I recently decided to join eHarmony and I'm discovering some interesting views on there.

A good number of the men I've seen on eHarmony talk much about their faith, following God, self-sacrifice, God's grace, and desiring a Christian woman with morals, etc. That's great!

One of my guided questions to these guys includes, "Are you opposed to pre-marital sex?"

Here's the kicker: Many say they are "a-ok" with sex before marriage.

Some say it's ok as long as marriage is imminent, or others say they will wait if their partner wants to even though they are not opposed to it.

I just don't understand, if God clearly commands us to save sex for marriage and marriage alone, what makes these people think it's alright to compromise on any level? I think waiting for marriage is certainly beneficial to all, even non-Christians. Mostly due to being able to avoid pain, loss of emotional objectivity, unwanted pregnancy, and STDs. But for the Christian, waiting until marriage goes beyond even that. It's an act of worship and obedience to Christ and it's to our benefit mind, body, and spirit. It's not a restriction as if having fun is a sin, it's how God protects us and allows us to have the most fulfilling relationship possible. Marriage is the greatest earthly example of Christ's relationship to us. (As the Scriptures say, "A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one." This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. [Eph 5:31-32 NLT])

Check out this video from John Townsend answering a question about sex before marriage:

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Video not working? Go to http://bit.ly/sexb4marriage

But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband. (1 Corinthians 7:2)

Finally, then, brothers, [1] we ask and urge you in the Lord Jesus, that as you received from us how you ought to walk and to please God, just as you are doing, that you do so more and more. 2 For you know what instructions we gave you through the Lord Jesus. 3 For this is the will of God, your sanctification: [2] that you abstain from sexual immorality; 4 that each one of you know how to control his own body [3] in holiness and honor, 5 not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God; 6 that no one transgress and wrong his brother in this matter, because the Lord is an avenger in all these things, as we told you beforehand and solemnly warned you. 7 For God has not called us for impurity, but in holiness. 8 Therefore whoever disregards this, disregards not man but God, who gives his Holy Spirit to you. (1 Thessalonians 4)

Tim Keller on Sexual Compatibility

2011-06-24T00:34:00.004-04:00

Is Sexual Compatibility important to determine before marrying someone? Pastor Keller really drives it home on this 3 minute audio piece!

MP3 Download: Tim Keller on Sexual Compatibility

Relationship as an expression of sex vs. sex as an expression of the relationship. Why Christians wait to have sex until marriage.

Additional Resources On This Topic: Sex Before Marriage: How Far Is Too Far?
by Tim Lane #1 Most-Read Article at CCEF.org of 2010!

Catalyst Conference [East] is Coming! Atlanta, GA October 5-7, 2011

2011-06-15T17:39:00.000-04:00

Last year at Catalyst East 2010 I made a new friend at the Catalyst Blogger's Meetup and her husband is one of the guys worshipping at the beginning of this video! :) His moment of fame. Her name is Lindsey and she cracks me up because she still hasn't launched her blog, although I met her at a Blogger's meetup! :)

Can't wait for Catalyst East, I hope to see you there! It's an amazing experience and you will meet some of the greatest people on this earth there. God is doing great things through the hearts of these leaders that attend Catalyst.

Created With Character

2011-04-08T07:35:00.007-04:00

You made all the delicate inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother's womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous--how well I know it. You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb. You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed. How precious are your thoughts about me, O God. They cannot be numbered!

(Psalm 139:13-17 NLT)

"God's character goes into the creation of every person. When you feel worthless or even begin to hate yourself, remember that God's Spirit is ready and willing to work within you. We should have as much respect for ourselves as our Maker has for us." --Life Application Bible on Psalm 139:13-15.

This passage touches me closely. I am reminded of God's tender care for us. On the days I'm too tired to even ponder my purpose I can know that there is a God who loves me. Reading this part of Psalm 139 over and over I cannot deny that in whatever circumstance I am facing, good or bad, God is in it. He laid out every moment ahead of time with a desire to love me every step of the way. He didn't whip me up out of nothing because He was bored. He didn't overlook any details. And He didn't frown at any "imperfection" in me--be it that silly bump on my nose or my lack of height. God is Royalty, Christ is King. He is the Author and Perfecter of our faith. And I was created in the hands of Royalty. Nope, nothing about me was a mistake. His thoughts about me are precious and cannot be numbered.

When a woman is placed on the cover a magazine she is "edited" to "perfection." Air brushed, photoshopped, angled, heightened, clipped, cut, nipped, tucked, glossed, bronzed, and more. This has become norm for us. Someone has said, "this is beautiful." I do believe the women on those covers are beautiful--they were beautiful before they were even born. They were created with a purpose and are precious in God's sight. But society tries to tell her that's not enough. And they disrespect God's design thinking they can do a better job at "beauty." Now, don't get me wrong, I like cute clothes, looking hot, putting on some bronzer and volumizing my hair. But I think (or at least hope) you know what I'm getting at here.

This is why I cannot order magazines or watch t.v. half the time. It disheartens me--and maybe I'm a little more sensitive than others. Or maybe many of us our desensitized? I don't know. But, listen to the thoughts in your mind and see if any of them are telling you that you are not enough. Refute those thoughts with scriptures like the one above. You are wonderfully complex. You are God's workmanship. How precious are His thoughts about you. Stand in agreement with God today.

Is there any scripture that helps you get through negative self talk? Please share with other readers below!

Created For A Purpose

2011-04-07T07:35:00.006-04:00

"God created everything through him, and nothing was created except through him."

(John 1:3)

"When God created, he made something from nothing. Because we are created beings, we have no bases for pride. Remember that you exist only because God made you, and you have special gifts only because God gave them to you. With God you are something valuable and unique; apart from God you are nothing, and if you try to live without him, you will be abandoning the purpose for which you were made." -Life Application Bible

"The Purpose Driven Life," is a book many of us are aware of, have read, or briefly skimmed. I did the whole 40 day deal (you are supposed to read one chapter a day for 40 days) and it indeed was eye-opening for me. Did it change my life? Not really, but it certainly equipped me and stuck with me. I love the idea of living a life with purpose, on purpose. It fires me up every time I think about it and maybe that has a little to do with my personality.

Without being a psychologist or scientist, though, I think it's safe for me to assess that we all are attracted to the idea of living a life with purpose. Deep down I think we all desire to know our purpose or to even be reassured we DO have a purpose in life. It's part of our DNA; it's a longing that just comes with the package since we were created by a Creator for a purpose, after all.

I think it's a beautiful thing when someone finally wakes up to their purpose. When someone realizes they are nothing without God but are wonderful and unique with him. When they realize that God loves them, and that the unique ways they were created start to line up in a way that reveal further God's plan for their lives. When living as a slave to this world is no longer appealing and fully living for God sets them free. Can't you just see it now? A young mother lives with the lie that her abusive boyfriend is all there is in this world for her, but finally realizes that all he has said and done to put her down are not true about who she really is? That she finally realizes she was created with a purpose and that God's purpose for her life was not to be in an abusive relationship but to be set free? God sent His one and only Son to die for her sins and set her free! With an awakened sense of purpose she is finally able to distinguish lie and truth and stand strong in her identity in Jesus Christ.

There is so much hope and freedom in living for God. The fate of living for ourselves and for the pleasures of this world is essentially death. In "The Weight of Glory," C.S. Lewis says,

".....it would seem that Our

Lord finds our desires, not too strong, but

too weak. We are half-hearted creatures,

fooling about with drink and sex and

ambition when infinite joy is offered us,

like an ignorant child who wants to go on

making mud pies in a slum because he

cannot imagine what is meant by the offer

of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily

pleased."

Consistent prayer, reading God's Word, and fellowshipping with other believers who speak God's truth into my life helps me realize my purpose and constantly move forward in it. Ultimately, having a purpose means we are highly valued and loved by God. That's the most awesome thing about it!

What are some ways you've discovered your purpose in Christ and how do you live that out? What difference has it made in your life and how has it affected your relationships?

Join Me & Win a Free Ticket! - March 26th from 9am - 12pm

2011-03-11T11:52:00.015-05:00

Hey Everyone! I'm going to a workshop in Atlanta on March 26th called Identity, Innovation and Increase: 5 Tools To Equip You & Your Organization for Success.

I know a lot of you out there need some spark, influence, encouragement and empowerment to move forward in what you feel called to do! Let's help each other do this!! This workshop is really gonna be great for us. I'd love for you to join me at this upcoming workshop so we can connect, learn together and keep an ongoing conversation about everything we learned at the workshop after it's over.

Win a FREE ticket (worth $50) to Identity, Innovation, and Increase by simply reposting / retweeting this info on Facebook, Twitter, or your Blog and asking others to do the same! Tell me about your repost and you will have a chance to win a ticket. Use this short url for the info and registration: http://conta.cc/successwkshp

More Info About the Workshop:

Identity, Innovation and Increase: 5 Tools To Equip You & Your Organization for Success.

Are you a Christian non-profit or small business leader?
Have the last few economic years left you concerned and cloudy?
Do you need prayerful (yet practical ways) to build and grow your vision from surviving to thriving?
Ready for more innovation, momentum and increase in 2011?
Prepared to get a purposeful and paced plan?

During this workshop you will learn:

The 5 Top Sabotages That Prevent Clarity and Boldness
3 Practical Ways To Grow Authentically and Without Hype
Innovative Growth Strategies You Create Out of Your Unique Identity
The Key To Maintaining Momentum and Consisent Growth
How To Partner With Men and Women In A Healthy Way To Grow Your Vision

We will also be hosting a short question and answer period where we will be answering YOUR unique challenge. This is a great opportunity to build the connections and get the resources you need to launch and grow your vision with power.

Earlybird Registration is $50.00. Registration after March 12 is $60.00

In addition, there will be a limited space luncheon (15 seats) with Clay and Brett Williams (former Kansas City Chiefs) directly following the workshop. Please contact Becky directly at Becky@successnotsabotage.com with "Power Lunch" in subject line.

Register Now!

I'm pretty excited because I believe it's going to help me focus all my gifts and skills and apply them strategically at work and with the ministries I'm helping. As some of you may know, I came to Atlanta specifically answering a call to come here and launch into full-time ministry. I came here when the economy was HORRIBLE and gladly took two part-time jobs: one at a coffee shop the other at an oil change place! Crazy huh? I then started working for a homebuilding company as a paper scanner (no joke) until I implemented what I learned at the Catalyst Conference and through materials from Seth Godin about being an indispensable employee. I am now full-time at this job and am getting them on board with their online marketing as a Social Media Director! (they even got me a DROID and an iPad...I'm totally spoiled) =)

I hope 2011 is the year to greatly move forward in ministry, since this month marks my 1 year anniversary of living in Atlanta.

Look forward to seeing you at the workshop!

-Christina

Christina's Highlights of Catalyst 2010

2010-10-11T11:29:00.015-04:00

Yes, the tension IS good. This is what I was reminded of at Catalyst 2010.

Here are some random thoughts, take-aways, cool things, etc. from my Catalyst Week:

_Met John Lee Saddington in person at the Bloggers Meetup to find he has started blogging full-time! Good deal bro.

_Met Tyler Stanton and was able to tell him how much I loved the ads for his book, but never bought the book and forgot what it was called. Sorry bro. (It's called, Everyday Absurdities, btw) And he's a great guy who is reary funny, so someone reading this should go buy the book.

_Rubbed elbows with my bloggin' bro Brett Trapp. (Sorry to disappoint with my empty hand lacking PBR this year)

_Worshipping w/ Gungor Band live! Love this song (sounded amazing live):

_Majorly Cool Thing: Started playing corn-hole with a young guy outside and talked to him about where he was from, how we was in school, and if he'd be going to grad school. He proceeded to tell me his desire to enter law-enforcement. He then told me that this was his first year at Catalyst or anything like Catalyst and how it was getting him to think more about what God would do through him. I asked him if he heard of International Justice Mission, and he hadn't. I told him more about IJM and he got super excited because he said it was really on his heart to end sex trafficking! Man, that was the highlight of my week. To connect a young person with a resource that could help him fulfill God's calling on his life. I live for that kinda stuff.

_Craig Groeschel. His talk was amazing! And convicting.

_Hanging with my peeps from Mountain West Church.

_Hearing about Gabe Lyons' story of he and his wife being found by the calling to educate people on down-syndrome children and the wonderful lives they can lead--destroying the myth that their lives are terrible which have lead to many abortions in America. God is in the business of restoration...reconciling all things to Himself! Thanks for emphasizing this message, Gabe.

_Seeing a guy so excited about Catalyst he flew out of his van onto the Gwinnett Center sidewalk. (He was ok though)

_Finding out that the devil indeed invented skinny jeans.

_Seeing a man shoot out of a canon.

_Being confused by bad hairstyles (Sadly, I must admit I caught a guy glancing at me and I think I instinctively gave him a funny look b/c of his haircut...same response I have to flat tops--LOL):

[Real-Time Connections] Chapter 1: Rethinking The Great Commission

2010-03-02T11:43:00.003-05:00

(This is a repost from my contribution over at bibledude.net)

Don’t have a seminary degree? Awesome! Can’t quote a bunch of scripture? Ok. Never said the sinners prayer with someone? Fine, neither have I. Converted 10 of your friends to Christianity? Wow. BUT…
“The one question that matters to Jesus is: Have you loved people enough to minister to them?”Bob Roberts, Jr. in Real-Time Connections (Read Matt 25.34-40)
Chapter 1 in Real-Time Connections is about rethinking the Great Commission because many seem to have lost sight of this command to ALL CHRISTIANS. If we are obeying this command then we should see everyday regular Christian people turning the world upside down from where they are. The time is now.
“These who have turned the world upside down have come here also…” Acts 17:6
So, what’s the Great Commission again?
TO GO AND MAKE DISCIPLES OF ALL NATIONS(Matthew 28:18)
Bob says, “The Great Commission is not simply a call to recruit people in the Christian faith; it is a command to engage in discipleship in every domain of a society in such a way the nation is transformed…..It’s about transforming people in such a way that they cannot help but transform their families, their neighborhoods, their cities, and their countries.”
At Bob’s church in Texas they use this term called, “Kingdom In, Kingdom Out” in regards to discipleship:
Kingdom In: The way we talk about our personal relationship with God.
Kingdom Out: How we refer to our relationships with other people and our calling in the world. It’s all about my love for God overflowing from a grateful heart into the hearts and lives of other people, drawing them into the joy I have experienced through his grace.
“When ordinary believers in their different domains engage in discipleship – transformation and change will come.
Not because we have more preachers and churches.”
Bob lists FOUR COMMON MISUNDERSTANDINGS OF THE GREAT COMMISSION:
1. The Great Commission begins in Matthew.
Rethink it: The Great Commission begins in Genesis.
2. Preachers Are the Key to the Great Commission.
Rethink it: Disciples, ordinary followers of Jesus, are the key.
3. The Church is Where We Focus Our Efforts to Fulfill the Great Commission.
Rethink it: Society is where disciples should engage the world.
8 Domains of Society that Bob Roberts, Jr. likes to focus on:
1. Economics
2. Education
3. Health
4. Communication
5. Society
6. Science-technology
7. Agriculture
8. Governance
Are you currently working in any of these domains of society? What are some doors God has been opening for you to turn the world upside down from where you are? Please share!
4. Only Certain People or Groups Are Allowed to Participate in the Great Commission
Rethink it: The barriers that separate people come down in the church, starting with our witness to the world.
In his book, Bob asks, “If the gospel were to break loose in our world today, what are the divisions that would have to come down?”
I want to know what you think.
Learn more about Bob Roberts, Jr. and “Glocalization” at http://www.glocal.net/
(In addition to rethinking the Great Commission you may want to revisit the message of the gospel. Tim Keller of Redeemer Church in NYC has a sermon that is very helpful and encouraging to me: http://sermons2.redeemer.com/sites/sermons2.redeemer.com/files/sermons/RPC-The_Gospel.mp3)

Not gonna write you a love song...err story...or am I?

2010-02-21T00:50:00.005-05:00

Lately, I've been toying with the idea of writing stories. I remembered that as a child I often would write short stories, and wondered where my desire for that had gone.

Apparently, it hasn't gone that far. I just didn't think it would be a good use of my time. But I thought about how maybe it could reach a certain kind of person in a way I'm not reaching others currently. Even fictional stories can give the message of hope to a hurting world (I've realized this after reading "Redeeming Love" by Francine Rivers and then watching the short film "Butterfly Circus" by Josh Weigel) They could even bring about change through God's grace. So, I'm gonna give it a shot!

I've started out with a love story. Of course, haha. ;-) Below is a snippet. Please let me know what you think. If you are an author, I'd love to hear about what you are doing.

___

Serah and Caleb stood at the door. Whenever they were about to say good-bye, she became aware of a certain gravity in her heart. It must have shown on her face as she stared off into the dark of the night behind Caleb.

As if this look on her face alerted him to examine her, he stood there.

Her focus came back to him. His eyes seemed to say he knew and that maybe he wanted to reassure her of something.

Not wanting to get her hopes up, she straightened herself ready to say something casual like, "Welp, see you later!" But that gravity in her heart seemed to make it's way into her throat. Wait...don't speak.

A kiss. Warm, comfortable, reassuring, and loving. Caleb had leaned into Serah and kindly kissed her beneath her left eye on the very top of her cheek. Overwhelmed with hope and desire and filled with delight, Serah froze. Caleb stepped back, smiling with care. Serah couldn't tell if she was smiling back.

"Is he waiting for me to say something? Should I return the kiss? Oh shoot, stop thinking he's gonna walk away soon! Hurry, do something." But Caleb never budged. So Serah smiled, stood on her tippy-toes and lightly pecked his cheek, she couldn't remember which side. All she knew was that it felt like there were warm golden specks on her own.

Caleb didn't know what he was waiting for, but it seemed to be the response he hoped for. Seemingly satisfied he told her good night.

"Good night Caleb..."

She closed the door and let out a big sigh. Her mind filled with wonder. "How will I sleep tonight? Oh, it was just a kiss on the cheek and we're good friends. That's all it was. A friendly gesture...right? But he's never done this before." Her heart ached momentarily, but sleepiness soon hit her with a yawn. "It'll make more sense in the morning, I guess."

Confessions of a Serial (Cereal?) Dater

2009-12-13T11:29:00.006-05:00

Whenever I hear the term "serial" I always think "cereal"...

Anyways, the topic of dating always gets people interested for some reason. And I never did get to finish my "dating series" for this blog because I suddenly have two jobs and am working 6 days a week. (Praise God for work, though!)

I've tried online dating and for the most part it has been a positive learning experience. Although, I've met the end of my ropes with it. I might try eHarmony.com as a last resort, but I'm not interested in spending my money on that right now. So, we'll see where God leads with that.

I'm still on a few free sites where I've actually met some godly men, but also some not-so-godly men. Then there are those whom we might categorize as "in-between." "Who am I to really judge?" is what seems to be my initial knee-jerk response. But honestly, there is something to judge here. In dating, LOTS of judging goes on. I mean, we are talking about considering someone with whom you may go from "hello, nice to meet you" to "I do" one day!

If you have not read the sermon notes from Tim Keller on Singlehood and Marriage then let me clarify why I'm "ok" with dating and why it has been a positive experience for me. It has allowed me to:

1. Affirm people of the opposite sex within the Christian community.

2. Help one another learn the intricacies of cross-gender communication, discernment, and relationship.

3. Stay open to God's own leading about whether I should be married or not.

4. Avoid the contemporary idols that make dating and marriage very threatening.

5. Avoid avoiding. Dating and marriage-seeking is a process of self-discovery as well as understanding cross-gender relationships. Don't procrastinate.

In my dating, a common thing I get from the categorized "in-between" men is the fact that they don't understand or agree why it is good for two people to be on the same page in their walk with God to have a great marriage. Maybe the difference here is a great marriage in the eyes of the "world" vs. a marriage that pleases God. And that's been very difficult for me to explain to someone who isn't on the same page as me spiritually.

Tim Killer says it best in his sermon, "If your partner doesn't share your faith, then he or she doesn't understand it. And if Jesus is central to you, then that means that your partner doesn't understand you. He/she doesn't understand the mainspring of your life, the ground motive of all you do. Over and over you will make decisions that your partner can't fathom. Now the essence of intimacy in marriage is that fianlly you have someone who really understands you and accepts you as you are. Finally you have someone that you don't have to hide from or always be 'spinning', who 'gets' you. But if the person is not a believer, he or she can't understand your very essence and heart."

He also goes on to say how marrying someone who does not share your faith can only go two ways, "One is that you will more and more have to lose your transparency. In the normal, healthy Christian life, you relate Christ and the gospel to everything. You will think of Christ when watching a movie. You will base decisions on Christian principles. You will think about what you read in the Bible that day. But if you are natural and transparent about all these thoughts, your partner will find it at least tedious or appalling and even offensive. Your partner will almost have to think that the normal Christian is obsessed. He or she will say, 'I had no idea you were this overboard about this.' The other possibility is that you simply move Christ out of such a central place in your consciousness. You may even have to let your heart-ardor for Christ cool. Why? Because if you keep Him central you will feel isolated from your spouse."

Ladies and gentlemen, I cannot emphasize what Pastor Keller is saying here. It is SO true! It's important to be fair to someone who doesn't understand this and not get emotionally involved with them. And you don't want to let go of your heart-ardor for Christ. You really don't. As I continue to go on a few dates here and there, these are the things I remember. I am not worried at all about meeting a great man who will choose to love me and who shares the same faith and the same heart for Christ. I know he's out there. Until then, I'm just taking things one step at a time as God leads. :)

Now excuse me as I go to the store, I've run out of milk for my cereal...

You can find my blog post about and link to Tim Keller's sermon on Singlehood and Marriage by clicking here.

Feng Shui, Computers, and Jesus

2009-10-31T09:23:00.007-04:00

I don't know much about Feng Shui, but I like to joke and say I have my own personal "Feng Shui." I like to sit at certain places at restaurants, pick certain spots at the beach, and my room has to be a certain way for me to want to sit and read or journal peacefully. ("Personal Feng Shui" sounds so much better than OCD, right?)

Sadly, at times, I apply this personal "Feng Shui" to my relationship with God. I often want to tackle the clutter first, then go to Him. (If you're asking, "What's so wrong with that?" then you should read on!)

I recently got a part-time job at a computer store and I start training next weekend. Last night I was sitting worrying about how being busy with an extra job would really throw off my Feng Shui b/c I wouldn't have time to tackle the clutter. I started to think maybe this part-time job was not in God's will...b/c with all that clutter I woudln't have the right Feng Shui set in place for me to pray, journal, and spend time with Him. God reminded me that computer products are not eternal, but the people that sell them and buy them are. Like C.S. Lewis said, "But it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub, and exploit--immortal horrors or everlasting splendours."

Check out what Jesus says in the book of Luke chp 10 vv.40-42:

"But Martha was distracted with much serving. And she went up to him and said, Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me. But the Lord answered her, Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her."

So, the moral of the story here is that we can go to God anytime, anyplace. Clutter and bad Feng Shui and all. Because He is carrying out His eternal purpose through the hearts of people. Maybe my room will get a little messy and out of balance, but I can still spend time with God. And working at a computer store will give me more opportunities to invest in eternal lives, not just temporary products.

Now excuse me...I need to go clean my room! (Maybe I'll go for a walk and talk with God first :-)

Chuck Swindoll In Jeans On Leadership

2009-10-13T19:56:00.008-04:00

"Dude! You're like...the Godfather!" That's what one of the Catalyst Conference reps said to Chuck over the phone when he mentioned his concern about being a little too old to speak for this next generation crowd of Christian leaders. As Chuck stood there on stage in his jeans telling us this story we laughed along with him mostly agreeing! Haha, he went on to make a hilarious comment about something to the effect of "ministry mafia." Too funny.

Before I knew about Andy Stanley or Louie Giglio, or many other well-known Christian leaders, speakers, pastors, etc. I knew about Chuck Swindoll. And I have to say, I was looking forward to his talk to the most.

Here are some of my notes from his talk:

He talked about being crushed, time, dissappointments, and failure.

He went on to give a list of top 10 things for ministry or something like that. ;)

1. It's lonely to lead.
2. It's dangerous to succeed.

3. It's hardest at home.

4. It's essential to be real.

5. It's painful to obey.

6. Brokenness and failure are necessary. (He said something about how we learn the most about Christ through afflication...P. Shaun King was sitting across the table from me in the volunteer breakroom during this and we heavily agreed on that one!)

7. My attitude is more important than my actions.

8. Integrity eclipses image.

9. God's way is always better than my way.

10. Christ-likeness begins and ends with humility.

Chuck is older in age, and has been doing ministry for quite some time. That is why I respect him and what he says. And what he says here in this list is not just a bullet list. They are key things that come to the mind of a man who has been walking with God strongly way longer than I have. There is weighty wisdom in there for me to pay attention to. Chuck is the Godfather! LOL

Some more points to ponder from Chuck's talk:

-He said the only place in scripture that Christ actually describes Himself is in Matthew 11:28-30 where He tells us he is gentle and lowly in heart. We find rest in Him and His yoke is easy.

-He also noted how we should preach Christ...that we are bondservants.

-We must be willing to leave the familiar methods without disturbing the biblical message.

-DON'T MESS WITH OR ALTER THE MESSAGE NO MATTER THE METHOD.

Another numbered list from 2 Cor 4:

1. With every ministry a special mercy is needed (God promises that..2 Cor 4:1)

2. In every ministry the same things must be renounced and rejected (v.2)

-hiding shameful things

-doing deceitful things

-corrupting truthful things

3. Through every ministry a unique style should be pursued (vv. 5-7)

-we do not preach or promote ourselves (it isn't about us!!)

-we declare Christ Jesus as Lord (it's all about Him!!)

-we see ourselves as bondservants for Jesus' sake

-we never forget what we are and who He is

5 Statements:

1. Whatever you do, do more with others and less alone

2. Whenever you do it, emphasize quality not quantity

3. Wherever you go, do it the same as if you were among those who know you best (helps you keep from exaggerating the truth)

4. Whoever may respond, keep a level head

5. However long you lead, keep on dripping with gratitude and grace...stay thankful and gracious!!!

Finally, Pastor Swindoll finished by reciting this poem by Amy Carmichael, which really struck me. (I love poetry)

I remembered the last part that said,

"Let me not sink to be a clod, Make me thy fuel thy flame of God."