Sewe's CyberHaunt

You are stupid! Period!

2012-02-23T08:49:00.004+03:00

Stupid people should have to wear signs that just say, "I'm Stupid". That way you wouldn't rely on them, would you? You wouldn't ask them anything. It would be like, "Excuse me...oops, never mind. I didn't see your sign."

It's like before I moved from Kisumu to Mombasa. My hut was full of boxes and there was a G4S truck at the gate. My friend comes over and says "Hey, you moving?" "Nope. We just pack our stuff up once or twice a week to see how many boxes it takes. Here's your sign."

When we still kids back in the days, while growing in the bundus, we went hunting for pheasants (aluru) and hares with my buddies, we got back to the village, I lifted up this big 'ol sack of giant hares and several pheasants and this idiot on the at the village market goes, "Hey, y'all catch all them alurus and rabbits?" "Nope - Talked 'em into giving up. Here's your sign."

I was watching one of those animal shows on the Discovery Channel. There was a guy inventing a shark bite suit. And there's only one way to test it. "Alright Jimmy, you got that shark suit on, it looks good... They want you to jump into this pool of sharks, and you tell us if it hurts when they bite you." "Well, all right, but hold my sign. I don't wanna lose it."

I remember while working as a casual with the WFP. One day while in a convoy of those big trucks taking the food to Lokichogio we had a flat tire, the truck driver pulled his truck into this isolated Total petrol station just past Kapenguria on your to Ortum. The attendant walks out, looks at the truck, looks at the driver, and I SWEAR he said, "Tire go flat?" The driver said, "Nope. I was driving around and those other three just swelled right up on me. Here's your sign."

A buddy who is a car broker was trying to sell a car about a year ago. A guy came over to see him and drove the car around for about 45 minutes. He got back, he gets out of the car, reaches down and grabs the exhaust pipe, then says, "Darn that's hot!" See? If he'd been wearing his sign, I could have stopped him.

Back to the days of WFP. So another time we had these monster 24 wheeler trucks ferrying grub to the guys up north of our beautiful republic. Wouldn't ya know I misjudged the height of a bridge. So at the Ortum River bridge, there were some repair works going on hence there was a detour. Seems the 24 wheeler truck driver misoriented the truck and got stuck at the temporary bridge. We radioed in for help. Now a highway cop happened by. He start asking a slew of questions, ok... no problem. I thought sure he was clear of needing a sign... until he asked, "So... is your truck stuck?" I couldn't help myself! I looked at him, looked back at the rig and then back to him and said "no I'm delivering' a bridge... here's your sign."

At a bar in Nyeri

2012-02-20T11:10:00.002+03:00

Kamau:.weh weh! Nakuabia bibi yangu
ni wale wabaya,ata nafikiria nyanya
yake arikua anapigana fietnam

NJOROGE:wewe shukuru
mungu,kamahujawai gongwo na nyina
wa Njoki
mpaka unaona marudu rudu,yani
kuona dim dim.

Kariuki:weee ,ma ya ngaiд AKI YA
MUNGU bibi yangu si ati anajua vita,
yeye mwenyewe dio
vita,naonanga akikuja sura. .nakaribia
murango

NJUGUNA:wewe uligongwa lini ya
mwisho,juu mi jana nimegongwa kama
darama ya wakurino. .

KINYANJUI:sasa dugu sangu tumeongea
sana,mi leo najua nitagongwo,ata
naogopa kwenda nyubani. .mi
nagongangwo naskia nitatokwo ni
shaitani,huyo bibi si
mushetho,ata tukiwa nayeye siwesi
ogopa wesi.

The Parliamentary Debate That Never Was

2012-02-08T10:45:00.000+03:00

*Mr. Shabeer:* Mr Speaker, I beg to ask the Justice Minister the
following question
by Private Notice.

(a) Why hasn't the Special Programmes minister been compelled to strip naked
as she promised?

(b) If she won't do it, why has she not been arrested for giving false
information
and misleading Kenyans?

*Justice Minister Mutula Kilonzo:* Mr Speaker, Sir, I beg to reply. As we all
know, the honorable Minister For Special programs promised, or threatened
if you like, to strip naked if the ICC confirmed criminal charges against
Uhuru Kenyatta. Well, the ICC called her bluff and did exactly that. But it
has only been a week. I propose we give her one more week to see whether
she will come good....

*Mr Khalwale:* On a point of order, Mr Speaker.

*Speaker:* What is it, member for Ikolomani?

*Mr Khalwale*: Is the minister in order to give Esther Special treatment in
the house? it is not like the ICC will reverse the decisions.

*Speaker:* Order, Mr Khalwale! The ICC may in fact reverse the decisions.
The member for Gatundu South has indicated that he will appeal the decision
to confirm the charges.

*Mr Khalwale:* Mr Speaker Sir, to end impunity in this country, Murugi must
strip. To teach other loose-mouths in the government a lesson, Murugi must
strip. to eassure the public who were misdirected into buying big-screens
for the strip-tease without adequate information, Murugi must strip!

*Speaker*: Order, Member for Ikolomani! Proceed, minister for Justice.

*Mr Kilonzo:* As I was saying, Murugi should be given one more week to come
good, failure to which I will appeal to the President to appoint a tribunal
to investigate her conduct.

*Health Minister Prof. Anyang' Nyong'o:* May I ask what measures the government
has put in place to ensure that the health of Kenyans is not compromised if
and when the Member for Mathenge decides to strip? Kenyans could get
traumatized....

*Speaker*: Order, honorable minister! You are the minister for Health,
and indeed
an integral part of the government structure, shouldn't you be asking
yourself that question ?

*Medical Services Minister Beth Mugo*: Mr, speaker, I have put all government
ambulances and and clinical officers on standby, should the people of Kenya
get shocked by the sight of her nakedness, and in case some Kenyans faint
in the process.

*Finance Minister Uhuru Kenyatta:* My ministry has also dispatched 12.5 million
shillings to Murugi' s Ministry. As the minister in charge of Special programs,
she has initiated an operation-badilisha- wardrobe for her naked stunt. Mr
Speaker, we have approved her proposal to overhaul her underwear. She shall
replace her old Mothers' Union panties with sexy lingerie, at a cost of 400
000 shillings per g-string. (applause)

*Karua:* On a point of order, Mr Speaker.

*Speaker:* What is it, member for Gichugu?

*Karua:* Mr Speaker, is the Finance Minister in order to use public funds to
overhaul the wardrobe of a Murugi? This is a private affair!

*Odhiambo:* we also have our privates....

*Speaker:* Order! Order honorable Millie, you are out of order! Minister for
Finance, you may proceed.

*Kenyatta:* Mr Speaker, the Honorable Murugi is a government minister.
She represents
the image of the government. Therefore, her actions are a direct influence
on the government's image and the government must take responsibility and
act decisively.

*Speaker:* Is 12.5 million decisive enough? I though the government would be
more sufficiently philanthropic.

*Kenyatta*: I have also set aside 5million shillings for the hire of a secure
and decent place for her to strip. Mr Speaker, we propose that Murugi
conducts her strip-tease in Liddos' Discotheque, to be aired live on KBC.
We have also contacted a popular porn website (name withheld) for space...
(uproar)

*Speaker*: Order! Order honorable Members! Can we please calm down and air our
views one by one. Member for Ugenya, what is your problem?

*Orengo*: Mr Speaker, this is an outrage! ODM was never consulted in
this matter.
PNU must recognize that we are equal partners in the coalition. This is
very disrespectful.

*Mr. Musyoka:* Will I be in order to ask for funds for round 3 of
shuttle diplomacy?
The international community needs convincing that this is indeed a noble
act and not in any way meant to spite the ICC. ..

*Speaker*: Mr Vice President that will not be in order. You will need to file
a motion to ask for funding.

*Khalwale*: And how did the Finance Minister arrive at the decision to award
Liddos the lucrative contract? How was the tendering done? What is the
problem with other strip-clubs, for example Apple Bees or **Tahiti**?

*Kajwang*: Yes, Mr Speaker, there is no strip-o -meter! How did he arrive at
the conclusion that Liddos is the best place to strip?

*Kenyatta*: Mr Speaker, this is an emergency. A special program. Tendering will
take weeks, within which time she may be arrested for providing false
information.

*Mbuvi*: Point of order, Mr Speaker.

*Speaker*: Yes, Member for Makadara?

*Mbuvi*: Ni aje vijanaa hawako kwa hii plot. Manze mkibuy mangodha za ngiri
soo nne bila kuinclude vijanaa kwa mpango, hizo ngodha tutachoma! Vijanaa
ndio majority, tunajua kustrip poa baada ua kupractise na zile song ya
bend-over, get down, wezere, kila siku wasee kuchips-fungana kwa club,
twitter na Facebook, experience tuko nayo kushinda wazae despite age
yetu....

*Speaker*: Order, member for Makadara! A point of order is not a debate!

*Bifwoli*: Endi why has chender palance noti peen consiteret in this tepate!
iko wanaume wengi wanawesa kutoa suruali pwana! (laughter)

*Speaker*: Order! Order, honorable members! Member for Bumula, you are out of
order! You know the standing orders well, at this juncture you can only
speak on a point of order or point of information. No one gave you permission
to speak.

*Bifwoli*: I am chust tellingi the truth. Hata sisi wanaume tunawesa kutoanga
suruali. Wakoli Bifwoli can also wear underwear worth 400 000. Mupunge
msima **kama** mimi hawesi shinda amefaa kaptula za Gikomba! Hata uchi
nitatembea, kwanza nimenyoeko....(loud laughter....applause )

*Speaker*: Order! Order member for Bumula! You are out of Order!

*Bifwoli*: In facti nikisimama uchi, na Muruki asimame uchi apo kando, am sure
nitapendeseko kumshinda. (more laughter and applause)

*Speaker*: Order! Order Honorable members, order! member for Bumula, you have
gone too far. That's it. I order you to leave the floor of the House
immediately. Sergeant at Arms, could you please escort Wakoli Bifwoli out
of this House!

*Bifwoli*: (walking out) Uuuuuwi! Uuuuuwi! Marende Pooole! Pole! Marende is
a tikteta!!!

LATER THAT NIGHT ON PRIME TIME NEWS.....

*Anchor 1*. And so, on our opinion question tonight, we ask:
*Anchor 2.* Should Esther Murugi strip naked? I repeat, should Esther Murugi
Strip naked?

Anchor 2. SMS your yes or no opinion to 6**6 and we shall sample some of
your responses at the tail-end of this newscast.****

** **

Blame my Idleness at the Office!

2011-11-28T15:57:00.001+03:00

A young smart Luo (Otieno) from Maseno walked into a jewelery store on Kenyatta Avenue one Friday evening with a beautiful young kikuyu gal at his side.

He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend (Wambui).

The jeweller looked through his stock and brought out a Kshs 5,000 ring and showed it to him. The Luo man said, "I don't think you understand, I want something very special."

At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought another ring over. "Here's a stunning ring at only Kshs 250,000," the jeweler said.

Wambui's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement. The young man seeing this said, "We'll take it."

The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the man stated, by cheque. "I know you need to make sure my cheque is good, so I'll write it now and you can call the bank on Monday to verify the funds and I'll pick the ring up Monday afternoon," he said.

Monday morning, a very teed-off jeweler phoned the young man. "There's no money in that account."

"I know", said the young luo man, "but can you imagine the weekend I had? Thanks!!!!!!!! Shred the cheque "

Tehehehehehe.....Wooooi Wambui! She gave out squonyos due to greed!!

Leaked KCSE 2011 Questions

2011-10-12T08:40:00.002+03:00

KISWAHILI PAPER 1

...Wiper,ODM Kenya...Wiper.. Raila huku, Kibaki kule alafu nitapita katikati yao..Wiper..ti hi hi hi hi

A. Nani alinena maneno haya? (2mks)

B.Nani alifaulu kupita katikati ya wenzake? (2mks)

C.Kucheka kwa msemaji kunatokanana na ulevi ama kuchizi?(2 mks)

KISWAHILI PAPER 2.

1.Mpanda gazi hushuka!

a. nini kinasababisha ashuke?

b. Huyu mpanda gazi amekosakazi?

c.Kwa maneno chini ya 20 eleza vile unamuelewa huyu mpanda gazi! (20mks)

2. Ukizingatia tamthilia ya "TAFAKARI YA BABU" kama ilivyo andikwa naye SWALEH MDOE, jibu maswali yafuatayo:
a. Kwani mwandishi hana nyanya?
b. Kama anaye, mbona asitafakari ya nyanya angalau siku moja?
c. Si babu ya mwandishi ni mwongo sana?

MATHEMATICS

1.11 men from Manchester can demolish Arsenal 8 times in 90 mins without being favoured by the referee; calculate how much Messi from Barcelona alone can demolish Arsenal in the same time. Use formulae (1 Man U=3 Messis) (5MKS)

2. A G4S van loaded with 25million shillings leaves equity bank Moi Avenue heading to equity Tom mboya street a distance of less than a kilometer;

(a) show cause why the van was found in KABETE?

(b) calculate how much money was left behind ?

(d)if the driver was mutuku what would he buy first assuming he got his share of the loot?

(40marks?

2. If Pifwoli Wakoli has 3White palls(read balls), 2 kreen palls and 4 plue balls in a pascket;

(a) What is the propapility of him picking a Mango?

(b) If Kalonzo was to pick a colour of his choice, how long would he take to decide?

ENGLISH

HAGUE in full is,

Henry Kosgey
Arap Sang
General Hussein Ali
Uhuru Kenyatta

Eldoret East MP William Rutto.

A]find the missing value to make ocampo six.

B}use a protractor and pencil on to draw and show how Ruto jumped to conclusion and went to Hague.

C}draw and paint arap sang's face into a saint. (10MKS)

COMPREHENSION

The following conversation takes place at Koinange Street at around 8:00 in the evening
CUSTOMER    : Unauzaje?
SELLER           : Inategemea.
CUSTOMER    : Nini
SELLER           : Unakulia hapa ama utafungiwa....

Q1. What is the customer buying.

Q2. Do you think it is cheaper to eat there, or take away

(17 Marks)

LITERATURE

1. "Kimunya must go"..
A. Who said these words?
B. Where is Kimunya going?
C. The speaker seems angry... explain using a labeled diagram.
D. What would have the speaker said had he not said this?
(4.99 Marks)

2. “... The thugs opened fire and my boys returned fire ...”
a. Who closed the fire in the first place
b. Why did the boys return a gift given so generously
(4 grenades)

ENGLISH PP 2:

1. The following was a poem by PLO Lumumba

“...In Kenya's job market, it’s about the technical know WHO, it’s not about technical know HOW.....”
a) Why didn't he make it to the national drama festival finals?
b) How many wrinkles were on Lumumba's forehead as he said the last line?

c) Explain the role of the poem in fighting corruption..
D) Why did he use plain English in this poem instead of his popular jargon?
(20 marks)

AGRICULTURE

Since we always talk of "the HORN of Africa",
a)what animal is Africa.
b) How long is the horn
c)Who performed de-horning on the other horn
(3 marks)

SOCIAL STUDIES:

1. Do you think there is a "NO SMOKIN" sign in Mr. SMOKIN WANJALA's office?
(0.5 marks)

2. “...this is green, this is green, hata ile red ni green...”
From the above extract, is it safe to say Peter Marangi is COLOR BLIND?
(2 green paints)

3. The number of ladies is larger than that of men. If 90% of the ladies prayed for by PASTOR OJGBANI at Nyayo Stadium actually get men, Calculate the probability that the Pastor has succeeded in creating more MPANGO wa KANDOs.(10MKS)

CIVICS
TRUE or FALSE? The green color on the Kenyan flag represents M-PESA.
(2 Bonga points).

“Some public officer have exhibited questionable behavior”. With this in mind answer the following questions.
i) Why does MIGUNA MIGUNA use the same name twice?
ii) Do you think a commission of inquiry should be formed to investigate his name?
(5 marks)

SOCIAL ETHICS
Bearing in mind that you are Kenyan, what do you do when you see a fallen oil tanker?

A) Run away and come back with a jerrycan
B) Call your family to make some quick money
C) Steal the battery
D) Light a cigarette
( 20mrks )

This is what all petrol tankers will be labeled in order to keep guys from harvesting oil when they roll. Do you support the move?
(10 Marks)

CRAFT

You have been provided with a lorry.
1. Show that you can make a VITZ from the lorry without reducing the lorry at all.
2.Now use the Vitz to make a tuktuk.
(5 mrks)

2011-09-09T10:33:00.002+03:00

Address by the President to a Joint Session of Congress

United States Capitol
Washington, D.C.

TMr. Speaker, Mr. Vice President, members of Congress, and fellow Americans:

Tonight we meet at an urgent time for our country. We continue to face an economic crisis that has left millions of our neighbors jobless, and a political crisis that’s made things worse.

This past week, reporters have been asking, “What will this speech mean for the President? What will it mean for Congress? How will it affect their polls, and the next election?”

But the millions of Americans who are watching right now, they don’t care about politics. They have real-life concerns. Many have spent months looking for work. Others are doing their best just to scrape by -- giving up nights out with the family to save on gas or make the mortgage; postponing retirement to send a kid to college.

These men and women grew up with faith in an America where hard work and responsibility paid off. They believed in a country where everyone gets a fair shake and does their fair share -- where if you stepped up, did your job, and were loyal to your company, that loyalty would be rewarded with a decent salary and good benefits; maybe a raise once in a while. If you did the right thing, you could make it. Anybody could make it in America.

For decades now, Americans have watched that compact erode. They have seen the decks too often stacked against them. And they know that Washington has not always put their interests first.

The people of this country work hard to meet their responsibilities. The question tonight is whether we’ll meet ours. The question is whether, in the face of an ongoing national crisis, we can stop the political circus and actually do something to help the economy. (Applause.) The question is -- the question is whether we can restore some of the fairness and security that has defined this nation since our beginning.

Those of us here tonight can’t solve all our nation’s woes. Ultimately, our recovery will be driven not by Washington, but by our businesses and our workers. But we can help. We can make a difference. There are steps we can take right now to improve people’s lives.

I am sending this Congress a plan that you should pass right away. It’s called the American Jobs Act. There should be nothing controversial about this piece of legislation. Everything in here is the kind of proposal that’s been supported by both Democrats and Republicans -- including many who sit here tonight. And everything in this bill will be paid for. Everything. (Applause.)

The purpose of the American Jobs Act is simple: to put more people back to work and more money in the pockets of those who are working. It will create more jobs for construction workers, more jobs for teachers, more jobs for veterans, and more jobs for long-term unemployed. (Applause.) It will provide -- it will provide a tax break for companies who hire new workers, and it will cut payroll taxes in half for every working American and every small business. (Applause.) It will provide a jolt to an economy that has stalled, and give companies confidence that if they invest and if they hire, there will be customers for their products and services. You should pass this jobs plan right away. (Applause.)

Everyone here knows that small businesses are where most new jobs begin. And you know that while corporate profits have come roaring back, smaller companies haven’t. So for everyone who speaks so passionately about making life easier for “job creators,” this plan is for you. (Applause.)

Pass this jobs bill -- pass this jobs bill, and starting tomorrow, small businesses will get a tax cut if they hire new workers or if they raise workers’ wages. Pass this jobs bill, and all small business owners will also see their payroll taxes cut in half next year. (Applause.) If you have 50 employees -- if you have 50 employees making an average salary, that’s an $80,000 tax cut. And all businesses will be able to continue writing off the investments they make in 2012.

It’s not just Democrats who have supported this kind of proposal. Fifty House Republicans have proposed the same payroll tax cut that’s in this plan. You should pass it right away. (Applause.)

Pass this jobs bill, and we can put people to work rebuilding America. Everyone here knows we have badly decaying roads and bridges all over the country. Our highways are clogged with traffic. Our skies are the most congested in the world. It’s an outrage.

Building a world-class transportation system is part of what made us a economic superpower. And now we’re going to sit back and watch China build newer airports and faster railroads? At a time when millions of unemployed construction workers could build them right here in America? (Applause.)

There are private construction companies all across America just waiting to get to work. There’s a bridge that needs repair between Ohio and Kentucky that’s on one of the busiest trucking routes in North America. A public transit project in Houston that will help clear up one of the worst areas of traffic in the country. And there are schools throughout this country that desperately need renovating. How can we expect our kids to do their best in places that are literally falling apart? This is America. Every child deserves a great school -- and we can give it to them, if we act now. (Applause.)

The American Jobs Act will repair and modernize at least 35,000 schools. It will put people to work right now fixing roofs and windows, installing science labs and high-speed Internet in classrooms all across this country. It will rehabilitate homes and businesses in communities hit hardest by foreclosures. It will jumpstart thousands of transportation projects all across the country. And to make sure the money is properly spent, we’re building on reforms we’ve already put in place. No more earmarks. No more boondoggles. No more bridges to nowhere. We’re cutting the red tape that prevents some of these projects from getting started as quickly as possible. And we’ll set up an independent fund to attract private dollars and issue loans based on two criteria: how badly a construction project is needed and how much good it will do for the economy. (Applause.)

This idea came from a bill written by a Texas Republican and a Massachusetts Democrat. The idea for a big boost in construction is supported by America’s largest business organization and America’s largest labor organization. It’s the kind of proposal that’s been supported in the past by Democrats and Republicans alike. You should pass it right away. (Applause.)

Pass this jobs bill, and thousands of teachers in every state will go back to work. These are the men and women charged with preparing our children for a world where the competition has never been tougher. But while they’re adding teachers in places like South Korea, we’re laying them off in droves. It’s unfair to our kids. It undermines their future and ours. And it has to stop. Pass this bill, and put our teachers back in the classroom where they belong. (Applause.)

Pass this jobs bill, and companies will get extra tax credits if they hire America’s veterans. We ask these men and women to leave their careers, leave their families, risk their lives to fight for our country. The last thing they should have to do is fight for a job when they come home. (Applause.)

Pass this bill, and hundreds of thousands of disadvantaged young people will have the hope and the dignity of a summer job next year. And their parents -- (applause) -- their parents, low-income Americans who desperately want to work, will have more ladders out of poverty.

Pass this jobs bill, and companies will get a $4,000 tax credit if they hire anyone who has spent more than six months looking for a job. (Applause.) We have to do more to help the long-term unemployed in their search for work. This jobs plan builds on a program in Georgia that several Republican leaders have highlighted, where people who collect unemployment insurance participate in temporary work as a way to build their skills while they look for a permanent job. The plan also extends unemployment insurance for another year. (Applause.) If the millions of unemployed Americans stopped getting this insurance, and stopped using that money for basic necessities, it would be a devastating blow to this economy. Democrats and Republicans in this chamber have supported unemployment insurance plenty of times in the past. And in this time of prolonged hardship, you should pass it again -- right away. (Applause.)

Pass this jobs bill, and the typical working family will get a $1,500 tax cut next year. Fifteen hundred dollars that would have been taken out of your pocket will go into your pocket. This expands on the tax cut that Democrats and Republicans already passed for this year. If we allow that tax cut to expire -- if we refuse to act -- middle-class families will get hit with a tax increase at the worst possible time. We can’t let that happen. I know that some of you have sworn oaths to never raise any taxes on anyone for as long as you live. Now is not the time to carve out an exception and raise middle-class taxes, which is why you should pass this bill right away. (Applause.)

This is the American Jobs Act. It will lead to new jobs for construction workers, for teachers, for veterans, for first responders, young people and the long-term unemployed. It will provide tax credits to companies that hire new workers, tax relief to small business owners, and tax cuts for the middle class. And here’s the other thing I want the American people to know: The American Jobs Act will not add to the deficit. It will be paid for. And here’s how. (Applause.)

The agreement we passed in July will cut government spending by about $1 trillion over the next 10 years. It also charges this Congress to come up with an additional $1.5 trillion in savings by Christmas. Tonight, I am asking you to increase that amount so that it covers the full cost of the American Jobs Act. And a week from Monday, I’ll be releasing a more ambitious deficit plan -- a plan that will not only cover the cost of this jobs bill, but stabilize our debt in the long run. (Applause.)

This approach is basically the one I’ve been advocating for months. In addition to the trillion dollars of spending cuts I’ve already signed into law, it’s a balanced plan that would reduce the deficit by making additional spending cuts, by making modest adjustments to health care programs like Medicare and Medicaid, and by reforming our tax code in a way that asks the wealthiest Americans and biggest corporations to pay their fair share. (Applause.) What’s more, the spending cuts wouldn’t happen so abruptly that they’d be a drag on our economy, or prevent us from helping small businesses and middle-class families get back on their feet right away.

Now, I realize there are some in my party who don’t think we should make any changes at all to Medicare and Medicaid, and I understand their concerns. But here’s the truth: Millions of Americans rely on Medicare in their retirement. And millions more will do so in the future. They pay for this benefit during their working years. They earn it. But with an aging population and rising health care costs, we are spending too fast to sustain the program. And if we don’t gradually reform the system while protecting current beneficiaries, it won’t be there when future retirees need it. We have to reform Medicare to strengthen it. (Applause.)

I am also -- I’m also well aware that there are many Republicans who don’t believe we should raise taxes on those who are most fortunate and can best afford it. But here is what every American knows: While most people in this country struggle to make ends meet, a few of the most affluent citizens and most profitable corporations enjoy tax breaks and loopholes that nobody else gets. Right now, Warren Buffett pays a lower tax rate than his secretary -- an outrage he has asked us to fix. (Laughter.) We need a tax code where everyone gets a fair shake and where everybody pays their fair share. (Applause.) And by the way, I believe the vast majority of wealthy Americans and CEOs are willing to do just that if it helps the economy grow and gets our fiscal house in order.

I’ll also offer ideas to reform a corporate tax code that stands as a monument to special interest influence in Washington. By eliminating pages of loopholes and deductions, we can lower one of the highest corporate tax rates in the world. (Applause.) Our tax code should not give an advantage to companies that can afford the best-connected lobbyists. It should give an advantage to companies that invest and create jobs right here in the United States of America. (Applause.)

So we can reduce this deficit, pay down our debt, and pay for this jobs plan in the process. But in order to do this, we have to decide what our priorities are. We have to ask ourselves, “What’s the best way to grow the economy and create jobs?”

Should we keep tax loopholes for oil companies? Or should we use that money to give small business owners a tax credit when they hire new workers? Because we can’t afford to do both. Should we keep tax breaks for millionaires and billionaires? Or should we put teachers back to work so our kids can graduate ready for college and good jobs? (Applause.) Right now, we can’t afford to do both.

This isn’t political grandstanding. This isn’t class warfare. This is simple math. (Laughter.) This is simple math. These are real choices. These are real choices that we’ve got to make. And I’m pretty sure I know what most Americans would choose. It’s not even close. And it’s time for us to do what’s right for our future. (Applause.)

Now, the American Jobs Act answers the urgent need to create jobs right away. But we can’t stop there. As I’ve argued since I ran for this office, we have to look beyond the immediate crisis and start building an economy that lasts into the future -- an economy that creates good, middle-class jobs that pay well and offer security. We now live in a world where technology has made it possible for companies to take their business anywhere. If we want them to start here and stay here and hire here, we have to be able to out-build and out-educate and out-innovate every other country on Earth. (Applause.)

And this task of making America more competitive for the long haul, that’s a job for all of us. For government and for private companies. For states and for local communities -- and for every American citizen. All of us will have to up our game. All of us will have to change the way we do business.

My administration can and will take some steps to improve our competitiveness on our own. For example, if you’re a small business owner who has a contract with the federal government, we’re going to make sure you get paid a lot faster than you do right now. (Applause.) We’re also planning to cut away the red tape that prevents too many rapidly growing startup companies from raising capital and going public. And to help responsible homeowners, we’re going to work with federal housing agencies to help more people refinance their mortgages at interest rates that are now near 4 percent. That’s a step -- (applause) -- I know you guys must be for this, because that’s a step that can put more than $2,000 a year in a family’s pocket, and give a lift to an economy still burdened by the drop in housing prices.

So, some things we can do on our own. Other steps will require congressional action. Today you passed reform that will speed up the outdated patent process, so that entrepreneurs can turn a new idea into a new business as quickly as possible. That’s the kind of action we need. Now it’s time to clear the way for a series of trade agreements that would make it easier for American companies to sell their products in Panama and Colombia and South Korea -– while also helping the workers whose jobs have been affected by global competition. (Applause.) If Americans can buy Kias and Hyundais, I want to see folks in South Korea driving Fords and Chevys and Chryslers. (Applause.) I want to see more products sold around the world stamped with the three proud words: “Made in America.” That’s what we need to get done. (Applause.)

And on all of our efforts to strengthen competitiveness, we need to look for ways to work side by side with America’s businesses. That’s why I’ve brought together a Jobs Council of leaders from different industries who are developing a wide range of new ideas to help companies grow and create jobs.

Already, we’ve mobilized business leaders to train 10,000 American engineers a year, by providing company internships and training. Other businesses are covering tuition for workers who learn new skills at community colleges. And we’re going to make sure the next generation of manufacturing takes root not in China or Europe, but right here, in the United States of America. (Applause) If we provide the right incentives, the right support -- and if we make sure our trading partners play by the rules -- we can be the ones to build everything from fuel-efficient cars to advanced biofuels to semiconductors that we sell all around the world. That’s how America can be number one again. And that’s how America will be number one again. (Applause.)

Now, I realize that some of you have a different theory on how to grow the economy. Some of you sincerely believe that the only solution to our economic challenges is to simply cut most government spending and eliminate most government regulations. (Applause.)

Well, I agree that we can’t afford wasteful spending, and I’ll work with you, with Congress, to root it out. And I agree that there are some rules and regulations that do put an unnecessary burden on businesses at a time when they can least afford it. (Applause.) That’s why I ordered a review of all government regulations. So far, we’ve identified over 500 reforms, which will save billions of dollars over the next few years. (Applause.) We should have no more regulation than the health, safety and security of the American people require. Every rule should meet that common-sense test. (Applause.)

But what we can’t do -- what I will not do -- is let this economic crisis be used as an excuse to wipe out the basic protections that Americans have counted on for decades. (Applause.) I reject the idea that we need to ask people to choose between their jobs and their safety. I reject the argument that says for the economy to grow, we have to roll back protections that ban hidden fees by credit card companies, or rules that keep our kids from being exposed to mercury, or laws that prevent the health insurance industry from shortchanging patients. I reject the idea that we have to strip away collective bargaining rights to compete in a global economy. (Applause.) We shouldn’t be in a race to the bottom, where we try to offer the cheapest labor and the worst pollution standards. America should be in a race to the top. And I believe we can win that race. (Applause.)

In fact, this larger notion that the only thing we can do to restore prosperity is just dismantle government, refund everybody’s money, and let everyone write their own rules, and tell everyone they’re on their own -- that’s not who we are. That’s not the story of America.

Yes, we are rugged individualists. Yes, we are strong and self-reliant. And it has been the drive and initiative of our workers and entrepreneurs that has made this economy the engine and the envy of the world.

But there’s always been another thread running throughout our history -- a belief that we’re all connected, and that there are some things we can only do together, as a nation.

We all remember Abraham Lincoln as the leader who saved our Union. Founder of the Republican Party. But in the middle of a civil war, he was also a leader who looked to the future -- a Republican President who mobilized government to build the Transcontinental Railroad -- (applause) -- launch the National Academy of Sciences, set up the first land grant colleges. (Applause.) And leaders of both parties have followed the example he set.

Ask yourselves -- where would we be right now if the people who sat here before us decided not to build our highways, not to build our bridges, our dams, our airports? What would this country be like if we had chosen not to spend money on public high schools, or research universities, or community colleges? Millions of returning heroes, including my grandfather, had the opportunity to go to school because of the G.I. Bill. Where would we be if they hadn’t had that chance? (Applause.)

How many jobs would it have cost us if past Congresses decided not to support the basic research that led to the Internet and the computer chip? What kind of country would this be if this chamber had voted down Social Security or Medicare just because it violated some rigid idea about what government could or could not do? (Applause.) How many Americans would have suffered as a result?

No single individual built America on their own. We built it together. We have been, and always will be, one nation, under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all; a nation with responsibilities to ourselves and with responsibilities to one another. And members of Congress, it is time for us to meet our responsibilities. (Applause.)

Every proposal I’ve laid out tonight is the kind that’s been supported by Democrats and Republicans in the past. Every proposal I’ve laid out tonight will be paid for. And every proposal is designed to meet the urgent needs of our people and our communities.

Now, I know there’s been a lot of skepticism about whether the politics of the moment will allow us to pass this jobs plan -- or any jobs plan. Already, we’re seeing the same old press releases and tweets flying back and forth. Already, the media has proclaimed that it’s impossible to bridge our differences. And maybe some of you have decided that those differences are so great that we can only resolve them at the ballot box.

But know this: The next election is 14 months away. And the people who sent us here -- the people who hired us to work for them -- they don’t have the luxury of waiting 14 months. (Applause.) Some of them are living week to week, paycheck to paycheck, even day to day. They need help, and they need it now.

I don’t pretend that this plan will solve all our problems. It should not be, nor will it be, the last plan of action we propose. What’s guided us from the start of this crisis hasn’t been the search for a silver bullet. It’s been a commitment to stay at it -- to be persistent -- to keep trying every new idea that works, and listen to every good proposal, no matter which party comes up with it.

Regardless of the arguments we’ve had in the past, regardless of the arguments we will have in the future, this plan is the right thing to do right now. You should pass it. (Applause.) And I intend to take that message to every corner of this country. (Applause.) And I ask -- I ask every American who agrees to lift your voice: Tell the people who are gathered here tonight that you want action now. Tell Washington that doing nothing is not an option. Remind us that if we act as one nation and one people, we have it within our power to meet this challenge.

President Kennedy once said, “Our problems are man-made –- therefore they can be solved by man. And man can be as big as he wants.”

These are difficult years for our country. But we are Americans. We are tougher than the times we live in, and we are bigger than our politics have been. So let’s meet the moment. Let’s get to work, and let’s show the world once again why the United States of America remains the greatest nation on Earth. (Applause.)

Thank you very much. God bless you, and God bless the United States of America. (Applause.)

Courtesy of White House

Shi Lang - China's First Aircraft Carrier

2011-08-12T12:41:00.002+03:00

China's first aircraft carrier held its first sea trial on Wednesday, 10 August 2011. Officials said the trial was on schedule and that afterwards the ship will dock for further work. The August 2009 US Office of Naval Intelligence report "The People's Liberation Army Navy: A Modern Navy With Chinese Characteristics" had stated that "This carrier is expected to become operational in the 2010 to 2012 timeframe, and will likely be used to develop basic proficiencies in carrier operations."

Ex -Varyag

The ex-Varyag was acquired by China from Ukraine without engines, and must be outfitted with new engines before going out to sea. China lacks indigenous steam turbine or gas turbine engine capabilities, and absent purchase of such engines from foreign sources, the ex-Varyag would have to be equiped with marine diesel engines. Such engines are larger than turbine engines, so the ex-Varyag outfitted with marine diesel engines would be underpowered relative to the original design, and consequently slower than the original design. With a best speed in the neighborhood perhaps 20 knots [the standard speed for American amphibious ships], ex-Varyag would be considerably slower than the 30-knot standard for American aircraft carriers and escort ships. As such, ex-Varyag would seem far more suited as an aviation training ship than as a operational tactical combat unit, though it might have some combat utility under some circumstances.

Carriers can be built rather quickly, given enough money, but experienced carrier crews cannot. Continuous training is required to operate a carrier safely. Flight deck operations are a series of precise movements, and structured catapult and landing area procedures. Everything from ordinance handling to aircraft maintenance procedures differe from those for land based aircraft. During the most hazardous phase of both fixed-wing and helicopter flight operations and the launching and recovery of these aircraft, these personnel are exposed to hazards of jet intake, jet blast and propeller/rotor wash, highspeed propellers and rotors, possible arresting cable separations, and the obvious hazards associated with aircraft crashes and fires on confined flight decks at sea. Prolonged launch (takeoff) and recovery (landing) cycles may last greater than 24 consecutive hours in duration and may be accomplished in an all-weather, high paced environment, interrupted only by short periods of rest and nourishment.

Ukraine halted construction on the ex-Varyag in 1992, when it was about 70 percent complete but without many electrical systems, no engines and no weapons. Left exposed to the elements, it quickly began to deteriorate. In 1992 China was reported to have opened discussions with Ukraine to purchase of the Varyag, a 67,500-ton Kuznetsov-class attack aircraft carrier about two-thirds complete and docked at the Black Sea shipyard of Nikolayev. In mid-1992 China's Science Academy sent 15 naval specialists to Ukraine for two months to conduct a feasibility study on the matter. After hearing their report, the Central Military Commission decided to go ahead with the plan and buy a carrier, aircraft and electronic equipment by 1994. These negotiations were ultimately fruitless, after Japan and the United States put pressure on Ukraine to pull out of the deal.

Transition via the Bosphorus

In early 1998 a Macau-based company, Chin Lot Tourist and Amusement Agency bought the Varyagfor $20 million dollars, with the announced intent of turning it into a floating amusement park and gambling casino in Macau. The contract with Ukraine stipulated that the buyer could not use the carrier for military purposes, and that any equipment that could be used to build other warships would be removed from the craft. In 1999 a respected Hong Kong periodical reported that British and French companies had made Beijing an offer to equip the Varyag with many of the systems needed to make it operational.

A tugboat from International Transport Contractors (ITC), towed the Varyag out into the Black Sea in June 2000. For more than than a year thereafter circled the Black Sea, because the Turkish authorities said it is too big to be towed through the narrow straits into the Mediterranean. The Turkish authorities argued that, together with its tugs, the Varyag would be more than 550m long and would have difficulty making the 15 changes of course required to navigate the straits. By September 2001 the ship had been marooned in the Black Sea for 13 months waiting to be towed to Macau. In October, Turkey allowed the decommissioned aircraft carrier to sail through its congested waterway after China pledged to minimize potential risks and offered guarantees that it would compensate Ankara for any possible damages. On 01 November 2001 ex-Varyag entered Turkish territorial waters at 0700. Here, four tugboats which played an active role in Varyag's passage through the straits threw rope to the floating vessel. On November 4, 2001 ex-Varyag was brought back under control after breaking loose of its tugboats in the Aegean in strong winds. In March 2002 the Varyag was towed to the Chinese port of Dalian.

Chong Lot

Chong Lot was a subsidary a Hong Kong firm called Chinluck (Holding). Chong Lot was also connected to another Hong Kong company, Goldspot Investments Ltd. All three firms had connections with former People's Liberation Army officials. Directors of Chinluck were reported to have ties to the Chinese Navy, though Chinluck denied any People's Liberation Army involvement in the sale of the Varyag. Three of the five directors of Chinluck Holding, the parent company of Chong Lot, were Chinese nationals from Shandong, which happens to be the home of the Chinese Navy's North sea fleet. Chinluck (Holding) Co. Ltd. did not have any public presence, and Chong Lot carried a non-existent address in Macau.

In 2003 Sky Cruise International Company Limited sought the winding up of Chinluck (Holdings) Company Limited. The petition was filed on 16 August 2003, and was heard before the High Court of Hong Kong on 12 November 2003, at 9:30 in the morning. Sky Cruise held its registered office at 13th Floor, Bel Trade Commercial Building, 1-3 Burrows Street, Wanchai, Hong Kong. On 4 April 2003, Zhong Nan Group (Hong Kong) Investments Ltd filed suit against Chinluck (Holdings) Co Ltd to recover USD 1,928,200.

However, the the Chinluck Group remained active. On 10 March 2005, Xinhuanet quoted Cheng Zhen Shu, who was chairman of the Chinluck Group Ltd in Hong Kong, as saying "The adoption of the anti-secession law and mighty military strengthen will deter 'Taiwan independence' elements from pursuing illegal activities."

The carrier was surrounded with heavy security in Dalian, which bars civilian access. Police flank the shipyard entrance. This fueled speculation that theVaryag was being used by the Chinese military. It was not evident that China could actually turn Varyag into an active military warship, since she was badly deteriorated.

Shi Lang: Technical Aspects

Around 70 percent complete, Varyag displaces about 33,600 tons [versus the 67,000-ton design displacement]. The steam turbines that were to have powered Varyag had not been installed by the Ukrainian state-run Generating Systems of Crimea prior to sale. Electronics were either never fitted or removed before she was sold.

In May 2005 the Varyag reportedly entered the dry dock near its mooring in Dailan harbor. One picture from the side has been seen in multiple forms and an aerial shot was undoubtably fabricated. The ship was said to have emerged from the dry dock in its current paint scheme, a standard gray used by the PLAN. That the ship was only said to have entered the dry dock in May and was out by August 2005, a time span of around 3 months and a third of the time full operational US carriers usually spend in dry dock for repairs and refit called the speculation into question. That the ship continued to ride high at its morrings in Dailan harbor as of 2007, suggesting that reports of refitting and installation of equipment were at least grossly exaggerated.

Subsequent unconfirmed reports followed suggesting that the Varyag could be being readied for operational use, for use as a training carrier, or perhaps most probable of the possibilities, to be brought to some limited capability in time for the Olympic Games in 2008 as a propoganda tool.

As of June 2008 the newest pictures of the Varyag showed her with additional new paint, but a lack of any visible activity. In late Arpil, 2009, the Varyag was moved from the pier in Dalian, to a dry dock about two miles distant, apparently in order to install engines and other heavy equipment.

Varyag's island was rebuilt in dry dock in 2009 and early 2010, with what appeared to be new PAR (Phased Array Radar) support structure. Vayrag was out of dry dock in March 2010. Shi Lang's early years at sea will probably be devoted to training.

Jane's Fighting Ships states that Varyag may have been named Shi Lang (hull No. 83), a name reported in 2008. In the summer of 2007, it was commissioned into the PLAN. There is no corresponding official statement.

Shi Lang: Entymology

Shi Lang (1621-96) conquered Taiwan for the Kangxi emperor in 1683, previous to which it was under the sway of a Chinese chief named Koxinga. Admiral Shi Lang served as commander-in-chief of the Qing fleet of 300 warships and 20000 troops. In the 1662-64 period, the Qing government, in order to realize national reunification, had conducted peace talks 10 times over a period of 22 years. However, due to neglect of the construction and use of naval force and under the circumstance of the lack of necessary military pressure and effective military attacking capability, the first nine peace talks all ended in failures.

In 1683, Shi Lang, the navy military governor of Fujian, led more than 20,000-men to wipe out the bandits in Taiwan by employing the strategy for the use of force of "first taking Penghu and then Taiwan" and "resending invitation to surrender in annihilation". The Manchus took possession of the island and made it a district of Fukien Province, which it remained until ceded to the Japanese in 1895. Shi Lang's military and social influence carried on growing in the decade after his conquest of Taiwan. Shi Lang in his Memorial to the Emperor on Taiwan Issue analyzed the geographical situation of Taiwan, emphasized its strategic importance to the security of the southeast coast and the whole country and expressed his determination to safeguard it and keep it within the territory of China.

References

1. Jane's Defence Weekly

2. International Crisis Group

3. Institute of Strategic Studies

4. Wikipedia

5. Reuters

6. CIA World Fact Book

Whites are Superior to Blacks: Discuss!

2011-08-09T10:48:00.004+03:00

There are certain things that, if analyzed, will almost make you think that we have a problem as Africans. Its like the white man is more endowed in as far as intellectual capacity is concerned. Please note that i do not intend to insult anyone, but to defend the above hypothesis.

Africans got colonized by whites: The African man has been colonized before and after independence. Before independence, Africans worked for the white man, struggled to learn the British, French language, even adopt foreign culture at the expense of their own. We were made to feel inferior to the Whites. They settled on our land, and established a quasi apartheid state. After independence, we are waiting for donor funds from them to push our projects, but with sanctions (IMF).
Africans cannot stand for justice: When Kisa Bisigye was being harassed by Museveni in Uganda, just the other day, we behaved as if that was not our problem. We (Kibaki) even wen't and gave Museveni a pat on his back for winning the presidency. It took France to throw out Laurent Gbagbo. ECOWAS was still divided on how to go about resolving a clearly rigged election in Cote d Ivoire. And the AU could not mediate the Kenyan case in 2007, it took a former UN head. We have Zimbabwe envoys in the country, despite Mugabe's human rights record.
Africans would rather vote their tribesman: Tribalism is one reason why i think we are just monkeys. Even when a leader has been associated with human rights atrocities, has no record of integrity, and has no vision for the country, Africans will ignore all that on the basis that he is their tribesman.
Educated Fools: Its only in Africa, where we have Chief Justices, Attorney Generals, Proffesors, Doctors, the academic cream of the society, doing all the wrong things despite their education. The whole essence of being educated gets lost when you look at the legal systems in African states, that protect the incumbent.
Gap between the rich and poor: In-equality is a sign of poor leadership. It therefore tells us how inferior we are as Africans. The white man has created an atmosphere of equality in his country. So that a bus driver earns enough to take him on holiday, and buy him a house. In African societies, we look down upon each other, as if the person who is jobless is less deserving than you.
Innovation: It would appear the Afrian man cannot invent anything. We even import spoons from China. We cannot even make mere toys for our children. We are an import economy. When will we launch a vessel to outer space? When shall we have a Bill Gates, or someone do Facebook, Twitter? Why are we not able to innovate?
The White Mans God is Superior: Why is the white mans God more superior to whichever God that we had? Did we have to import even a God from them? Goddamn!!! Anyway, its a sign of inferiority. When you say you do not believe in Jesus, everyone looks at you as if its the worst thing in the world. Yet their great grand parents did not know who Jesus was.

It is my proposition that Africans are a cursed people.

Courtesy of @harrisonmumia

Classic 105 Trash

2011-08-08T09:38:00.002+03:00

Next time you send a text to an FM Station know that they log your number and conversation. Be warned. Do you know the numbers below?

Topic today was partying without panties.

Why do ladies go nuts whenever they see celebs?

254737XXX906

Classic fm. Maina its not our fault u guys drive us craizie na if u mix wid manyege wat cant we do? Luv u guys

254721XXX828

Fally Ipupa ni msupuu. I didn't remove my pant but had an orgasm by imagining him in me............. I didn't misbehave that much.

254721XXX010

Mornng maina & mwalimu, i was @ mike murimi mugithi wth bibi wa bro wangu. nilimwona akijitia kidole halafu akalamba na akaonyesha murimi! All the ladies were doing it. Karibu nikufe na heart atak.

254723XXX493

Maina! Wanawake wana wazimu, mwingine alirushia husband yangu panti yake kwa uso tukiwa lunch wimpy! Na huzzo akaiweka kwa mfuko. Nilifeel mbaya.

254722XXX034

Maina, I hiked a lady neighbor-senior admin UNEP. Frm the blues she told me "am in red thongs", unziped n asked me if i could run my fingers

A few from the archives......

254720XXX104

Hi maina.i couldnt contribute on y'days topic coz i was wth my hubby who soils & urinates on hmself mpaka ndani ya viatu akilewa.pls ask such men wat goes on in thea minds b4 & afta such deeds.wats thea xcuse?do they gve a damn abt th family feelings?pls i need 2kno.Dont call me now.he is asleep. Ameingia kwa keja 5am. LENA

254714XXX039

maina, mine is terrible-he has nothin, haja soma-yani my peroz and family dont penda him-I wish I "road tested" him first coz after kumuoa, I found out ako na kitu kama ya mtoi. am sexually starved-pals tell me to get shag buddy, dildo, av thought of goin gay yani the options are still comin-i am absolutely single and willing to mingle though married-love you guys

254722XXX198

Hi, maina cal me if u find time. I walked into my house only to find my husband having sex with his younger sister. Akaniuliza 'havent you heard of privacey'. I'm confused. Gday

254725XXX895

Maina,my boyfrnd who is maried wants 2 funguwa my boot na hajawahi funguwa ya bibi yake.pls help mi cz istl lov him.mary 4rm kisii.

254726XXX190

Mina its just naturall a woman can make love with more than 3 men in one day so long as u know how to take a shower well no man will ever know. Me I must get it from our tea boy at work juu ni msupuu, a mechanic who operates in the plot next to jobo and a neighbors son when he's on holiday. Na bado mzee wangu kant notice.

254725XXX409

Hi maina, am screwed daily b4 i get home, i get 2 the house take a bath and if my man wants i'll give it 2 him ave aborted 2wice nd he's nvr known. From Milli

254718XXX326

Classic H! MaUna n mwalim am munaa frm mbs n am in luv with my father in law n am 26 yrs his 57yrs n i luv him more than my hasband. We've been sleeping with him tangu my first yr in marriage. Ako na kitu kubwa!

254712XXX656

Classic 105, Hi maina, mine was worse coz my mum's boyfriend alifanya juu chini tulale pamoja, and he succeeded kumbe he turned out to be HIV positive. Nimeregret sana.

254720XXX236

050003E70301Hi Maina,i was married, I cookd 4him variety of food,respectd him,na palepale,i was da driver.He askd m 4 a3rd party,n brought her as he wishes.He statd beating m up,akaninyima my right place of sex coz he wntd ma Ass !Men cnt b satisfied wit 1woman

254726XXX722

0500034A0201Ma husband's libido is veri low.Marrd 3yrs now and have neva seen his goods only by accdent. Now its 3mnths snc we had sex. We have bcam a Bro an a sis. Am suffering sexualy wat do i do.But am hapi in al other areas

254733XXX855

Maina todays discussion has to be longer,we are miserable women..we end up having affairs with relatives...help us. Like now am sleeping with my first cousin...wambui

254729XXX848

Hi Maina. Been in a rut too .Married 4 the last 24 yrs to this ng'ombe. Love was alive for only the first year then we became hse mates. It's too bad mpaka he can't rise to the occasion for me. And he's also tiny. So imagine a small thing that can't wake up. Pathetic!

254722XXX970

0500032B0202 this lady has being using my husbands 4ne when they r 2gether in bed telng mi 2listen hw sweet my husband is en then she screams. God wht im i sapposed 2do.

254721XXX952

Nothing wrong with a woman who can control her drinking like me. My hubby is a drunk who cant control his drinking. Alikuja sato morning high akakojoa ndani ya wardrobe badala ya choo yet he keeps saying am the drunk! Karo

254716XXX031

Dnt be stupid Maina...I have a woman who drinks n she is generally n extremely dirty, first her genitals! Beer aint good 4 women... am tired of being woken up at 3am four times a week kumfungulia. Last week I refused to open and found her in the watchman's kibanda in the morning on my way to work. I've kept wondering if she gave him.

254722XXX997

Maina morning am a drinker n trust me i hv never ceased to be a gud mother to my 3 kids n wife to ma hubbi. The fact that naweza maliza 2 bottles of viceroy in one night doesn't make me a bad mother! Jana nilikunywa 3 quarters juu kulikuwa Sunday.

254722XXX913

So maina what if she drinks and doesnt come home and doesnt want to be asked where she is? Mine went out on Friday jioni and akarudi jana morning. Nikamuuliza ikakuwa vita. We have 3 yr old twins. Naogopa ukali wake.

254715XXX001

Hi Maina,salimia King'ang'i. Maina,wachana na hao wanasema ati bibi asilewe. My wife drinks,I don't. Na mimi humpeleka kwa bar namwacha huko akitosheka ananipigia ama analetwa na rafikfi zake. Only one day I was worried. Alinipigia akiwa florida 5am and her friends walikuwa wamemwacha. Apart from that day, I see no issues with her enjoy a drink.

254722XXX484

Hi Maina, am irene 24 yrs. I was involved with a catholic priest . He took me from my rural home and rented a hse 4 me . akaleta brother yake akanilazimisha nilale nayeye. Sikujua alikuwa anapenda porno pia. When I refused kuwatch nayeye akanifukuza. Plz help me kol him juu hachukui simu zangu. His fone no. 0721 895762 or 0735854143(Fr.Joseph

254725XXX592

Maina, his weight bothers me coz it affects palepale imagine ana choka haraka sana and he drips streams of sweat!na style zingine hawezi! Every time we do it, am worried atakufa juu yangu na vile ni mzito! mariam

254703XXX613

Av bn married 4one yr.Hez gaining weight n maina u knw the kitambi bng a pivot on me that puts me off! Namuona akiwa naked sometimes nakimbia kwa choo nitapike! n the longest he cn go is 4mins!he rols over n snores.nkt! I normally just sit and stare at his kathing vile kamekunjika naskia huzuni.

254721XXX670

Yes! I hate my husband of 23 years he eats like a big pig! Kitambi kama ya ngombe! Yeye huleta food kutoka fridge ili akule kwa bedroom usiku. Na bonoko ni kama yesu. Bado nangoja irudi.

254750XXX848

Morning Maina? Can you imagine comìng home 5pm and ur wife in nities with a stocking on, matiti hunging kama socks, the hse is dirty and the bed is not even made. Why not stay away get drunk and come at 3am and find this monster asleep. Ubaya nakuja nimelewa and see her thing juu amelala fuaa and she doesn't shave. She makes me sick!

254721XXX466

Hey Maina and Kingangi,i use to treat my huby like a king,gave him all the fredom and happiness in the world but u know how he repayed,he left me and now he's living with an old woman whom you Maina know.He left me with a kid of 11/2yrs.

254727XXX432

Maina, my man is always at home early. What is the formula for sending him away? Every time I pass him, he wants sex. It's too much! Take him with you to your bar. I'll even pay you.

And on today's topic on doing it with in-laws, here are some texts....

254716XXX962

Me i do it every 9te 4 de last 3month wid my bro-in-law iam 18 i dont like it coz ihv ma boyfriend in coast n ihv never sexed wid him I dont know wat 2do ATÂ

\
254722XXX878

Maina my real mother has been molesting me. Niliamka nikamukuta akininyonya. Who can I report to? Steve

254724XXX542

MAINA NOT OUR DAD ALOME. AV BIN HAVING AFFAIR WITH MA ELDER BRO NA TUMEZAA A BABY BOY. TOO MUCH ATTACHED N NONE OF US IS MARIED.HE REALY SATIFIES ME SEXUALLY

254723XXX780

Hey Maina pliz help me cos i found out that am datng my half bro. na ninaexpect! help. Brenda

And a karandom one...

254733XXX281 My wife is so dull, every time I try some positions all I get is "Baba nani, usiniharibu huko nyuma!" na dada yake ananicheki.

Courtesy of Siraj Murbe

Love, with a heavy dash of Luopean

2011-07-26T17:12:00.004+03:00

Dear Jaber,
I have excellently juxtaposed myself at my favorite corner at this juncture, this opportune time to narrate to you the status of my emotional condison and the posison of my heart Vis-a-Viz my lovely lady.
Atoti! It has been exactly two years, twenty three days, four hours and seven minutes from the day that my sight landed unavoidingly on your well endowed external outline. In all this time my feelings have surpassed everything to become true love. My love for you Nyako has grown deeper than the still waters of NAM-LOLWE the place where NYAMGODHO fished out the love of his life.
Nyathijomoko! As I write to you I am smiling, thinking of your beauty for which I have always thanked God. The day I met you, that your beauty struck me like lightening as my body felt weak and my heart skipped a beat. Speaking of God, I must admit that he must have held CONSULTATIONS with me albeit in my dreams because he created you in the very same way I have always described the woman of my dreams. Physically endowed, full chest, beautiful and big brown eyes, White teeth like CHA-CHIEW!
YAYE NYADUNDO! You are the love of my life, the reason of my being, the very essence of my existence. NYAR JO MWANDU! You enrich my life with your ever present and beautiful smile. You are my wealth and with you in my life the likes of BILL GATES and CARLOS SLIM are below my average. Baby you are the answer to all my questions, in fact with you, I have more answers than questions.You are the DOT in my email address and the only number on my mailing box. Sweetheart! you have made my life superliciously outstanding and because of you I have become the subject of envy to men like OBAMA, CLINTON, MANDELA and even JAKOM RAILA himself.
RAPUDO! When I first set my eyes on you I knew I wanted to be your slave. To run far and long, day and night for your heart more than KIPCHOGE KEINO could ever run for the GOLD. NYARJOKAOCHA! My love for you has grown exponentially and multi-purposely in all this time. I love you more than an OKUYU loves MBECHA; I value you more than a MAASAI values his CATTLE; I adore you more than a LUHYA adores his UGALI,CHICKEN and TEA; I want you more than RAILA wants to be PRESIDENT and I will always defend you more than a MERU would ever defend his MIRAA.

Lawyers can be stupid too

2011-07-15T08:24:00.001+03:00

Recently reported in the Massachusetts Bar Association Lawyers Journal, the following are questions actually asked of witnesses by attorneys during trials and, in certain cases, the responses given by insightful witnesses:

“Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?”

“The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?”

“Were you present when your picture was taken?”

“Were you alone or by yourself?”

“Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?”

“Did he kill you?”

“How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?”

“You were there until the time you left, is that true?”

“How many times have you committed suicide?”

Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? A: Yes. Q: And what were you doing at that time?

Q: She had three children, right? A: Yes. Q: How many were boys? A: None. Q: Were there any girls?

Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement? A: Yes. Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?

Q: Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn’t you? A: I went to Europe, Sir. Q: And you took your new wife?

Q: How was your first marriage terminated? A: By death. Q: And by whose death was it terminated?

Q: Can you describe the individual? A: He was about medium height and had a beard. Q: Was this a male, or a female?

Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney? A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people? A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to? A: Oral.

Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.. Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time? A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.

Q: You were not shot in the fracas? A: No, I was shot midway between the fracas and the navel.

Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample? A: I have been since early childhood.

What a Woman wants

2011-07-11T08:42:00.001+03:00

King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur's youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer and, if after a year, he still had no answer; he would be put to death.

The question? . . . What do women really want? Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man, and to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. But, since it was better than death, he accepted the monarch's proposition to have an answer by year's end.

He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everyone: the princess, the priests, the wise men and even the court jester. He spoke with every one, but no one could give him a satisfactory answer.

Many people advised him to consult the old witch, for only she would have the answer.

But the price would be high; as the witch was famous throughout the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged.

The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no choice but to talk to the witch. She agreed to answer the question, but he would have to agree to her price first.

The old witch wanted to marry Sir Lancelot, the most noble of the Knights of the Round Table and Arthur's closest friend!

Young Arthur was horrified. She was hunchbacked and hideous, had only one tooth, smelled like sewage, made obscene noises, etc. He had never encountered such a repugnant creature in all his life.

He refused to force his friend to marry her and endure such a terrible burden; but Lancelot, learning of the proposal, spoke with Arthur. He said nothing was too big of a sacrifice, compared to Arthur's life and the preservation of the Round Table.

Hence, a wedding was proclaimed and the witch answered Arthur's question thus:

What a woman really wants, she answered . . . is to be in charge of her own life.

Everyone in the kingdom instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth and that Arthur's life would be spared.

And so it was, the neighboring monarch granted Arthur his freedom and Lancelot and the witch had a wonderful wedding.

The honeymoon hour approached and Lancelot, steeling himself for a horrific experience, entered the bedroom. But, what a sight awaited him. The most beautiful woman he had ever seen lay before him on the bed. The astounded Lancelot asked what had happened

The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her when she appeared as a witch, she would henceforth be her horrible, deformed self only half-the-time and the beautiful maiden the other half.

Which would he prefer? Beautiful during the day . . . or night?

Lancelot pondered the predicament. During the day, a beautiful woman to show off to his friends, but at night, in the privacy of his castle, an old witch? Or, would he prefer having a hideous witch during the day, but by night, a beautiful woman for him to enjoy wondrous intimate moments?

What would YOU do?

What Lancelot chose is below. BUT . . . make YOUR choice before you scroll down below. OKAY?

Noble Lancelot said that he would allow HER to make the choice herself.

Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time because he had respected her enough to let her be in charge of her own life.

Now . . . what is the moral to this story?

The moral is . . .

If you don't let a woman have her own way . . .

Things are going to get ugly!

Courtesy of Siraj Murbe

Obama's Afghanistan Plan and the Realities of Withdrawal

2011-06-24T08:02:00.002+03:00

U.S. President Barack Obama announced June 22 that the long process of drawing down forces in Afghanistan would begin on schedule in July. Though the initial phase of the drawdown appears limited, minimizing the tactical and operational impact on the ground in the immediate future, the United States and its allies are now beginning the inevitable process of removing their forces from Afghanistan. This will entail the risk of greater Taliban battlefield successes.

The Logistical Challenge

Afghanistan, a landlocked country in the heart of Central Asia, is one of the most isolated places on Earth. This isolation has posed huge logistical challenges for the United States. Hundreds of shipping containers and fuel trucks must enter the country every day from Pakistan and from the north to sustain the nearly 150,000 U.S. and allied forces stationed in Afghanistan, about half the total number of Afghan security forces. Supplying a single gallon of gasoline in Afghanistan reportedly costs the U.S. military an average of $400, while sustaining a single U.S. soldier runs around $1 million a year (by contrast, sustaining an Afghan soldier costs about $12,000 a year).

These forces appear considerably lighter than those in Iraq because Afghanistan’s rough terrain often demands dismounted foot patrols. Heavy main battle tanks and self-propelled howitzers are thus few and far between, though not entirely absent. Afghanistan even required a new, lighter and more agile version of the hulking mine-resistant, ambush-protected vehicle known as the M-ATV (for “all-terrain vehicle”).

Based solely on the activity on the ground in Afghanistan today, one would think the United States and its allies were preparing for a permanent presence, not the imminent beginning of a long-scheduled drawdown (a perception the United States and its allies have in some cases used to their advantage to reach political arrangements with locals). An 11,500-foot all-weather concrete and asphalt runway and an air traffic control tower were completed this February at Camp Leatherneck and Camp Bastion in Helmand province. Another more than 9,000-foot runway was finished at Shindand Air Field in Herat province last December.

Meanwhile, a so-called iron mountain of spare parts needed to maintain vehicles and aircraft, construction and engineering equipment, generators, ammunition and other supplies — even innumerable pallets of bottled water — has slowly been built up to sustain day-to-day military operations. There are fewer troops in Afghanistan than the nearly 170,000 in Iraq at the peak of operations and considerably lighter tonnage in terms of armored vehicles. But short of a hasty and rapid withdrawal reminiscent of the chaotic American exit from Saigon in 1975 (which no one currently foresees in Afghanistan), the logistical challenge of withdrawing from Afghanistan — at whatever pace — is perhaps even more daunting than the drawdown in Iraq. The complexity of having nearly 50 allies with troops in country will complicate this process.

Moreover, coalition forces in Iraq had ready access to well-established bases and modern port facilities in nearby Kuwait and in Turkey, a long-standing NATO ally. Though U.S. and allied equipment comes ashore on a routine basis in the Pakistani port city of Karachi, the facilities there are nothing like what exists in Kuwait. Routes to bases in Afghanistan are anything but short and established, with locally contracted fuel tankers and other supplies not only traveling far greater distances but also regularly subject to harassing attacks. They are inherently vulnerable to aggressive interdiction by militants fighting on terrain far more favorable to them, and to politically motivated interruptions by Islamabad. The American logistical dependence on Pakistani acquiescence cannot be understated. Most supplies transit the isolated Khyber Pass in the restive Pakistani Federally Administered Tribal Areas west of Islamabad. As in Iraq, the United States does have an alternative to the north. But instead of Turkey it is the Northern Distribution Network (NDN), which runs through Central Asia and Russia (Moscow has agreed to continue to expand it) and entails a 3,200-mile rail route to the Baltic Sea and ports in Latvia, Lithuania and Estonia.

Given the extraordinary distances involved, the metrics for defining whether something is worth the expense of shipping back from Afghanistan are unforgiving. Some equipment will be deemed too heavily damaged or cheap and will be sanitized if necessary and discarded. Much construction and fortification has been done with engineering and construction equipment like Hesco barriers (which are filled with sand and dirt) that will not be reclaimed, and will continue to characterize the landscape in Afghanistan for decades to come, much as the Soviet influence was perceivable long after their 1989 withdrawal. Much equipment will be handed over to Afghan security forces, which already have begun to receive up-armored U.S. HMMWVs, aka “humvees.” Similarly, some 800,000 items valued at nearly $100 million have already been handed over to more than a dozen Iraqi military, security and government entities.

Other gear will have to be stripped of sensitive equipment (radios and other cryptographic gear, navigation equipment, jammers for improvised explosive devices, etc.), which is usually flown out of the country due to security concerns before being shipped overland. And while some Iraqi stocks were designated for redeployment to Afghanistan or prepared for long-term storage in pre-positioned equipment depots and aboard maritime pre-positioning ships at facilities in Kuwait, most vehicles and supplies slated to be moved out of Afghanistan increasingly will have to be shipped far afield. This could be from Karachi by ship or to Europe by rail even if they are never intended for return to the United States.

Security Transition

More important than the fate of armored trucks and equipment will be the process of rebalancing forces across the country. This will involve handing over outposts and facilities to Afghan security forces, who continue to struggle to reach full capability, and scaling back the extent of the U.S. and allied presence in the country. In Iraq, and likely in Afghanistan, the beginning of this process will be slow and measured. But its pace in the years ahead remains to be seen, and may accelerate considerably.

The first areas slated for handover to Afghan control, the provinces of Panjshir, Bamiyan and Kabul — aside the restive Surobi district, though the rest of Kabul’s security effectively has been in Afghan hands for years — and the cities of Mazar-e-Sharif, Herat, Lashkar Gah and Mehtar Lam have been relatively quiet places for some time. Afghan security forces increasingly have taken over in these areas. As in Iraq, the first places to be turned over to indigenous security forces already were fairly secure. Handing over more restive areas later in the year will prove trickier.

This process of pulling back and handing over responsibility for security (in Iraq often termed having Iraqi security forces “in the lead” in specific areas) is a slow and deliberate one, not a sudden and jarring maneuver. Well before the formal announcement, Afghan forces began to transition to a more independent role, conducting more small-unit operations on their own. International Security Assistance Force (ISAF) troops slowly have transitioned from joint patrols and tactical overwatch to a more operational overwatch, but have remained nearby even after transitions formally have taken place.

Under the current training regime, Afghan units continue to require advice and assistance, particularly with matters like intelligence, planning, logistics and maintenance. The ISAF will be cautious in its reductions for fear of pulling back too quickly and seeing the situation deteriorate — unless, of course, Obama directs it to conduct a hastier pullback.

As in Afghanistan, in Iraq the process of drawing down and handing over responsibility in each area was done very cautiously. There was a critical distinction, however. A political accommodation with the Sunnis facilitated the apparent success of the Iraqi surge — something that has not been (and cannot be) replicated in Afghanistan. Even with that advantage, Iraq remains in an unsettled and contentious state. The lack of any political framework to facilitate a military pullback leaves the prospect of a viable transition in restive areas where the U.S. counterinsurgency-focused strategy has been focused tenuous at best — particularly if timetables are accelerated.

In June 2009, U.S. forces in Iraq occupied 357 bases. A year later, U.S. forces occupied only 92 bases, 58 of which were partnered with the Iraqis. The pace of the transition in Afghanistan remains to be seen, but handing over the majority of positions to Afghan forces will fundamentally alter the situational awareness, visibility and influence of ISAF forces.

Casualties and Force Protection

The security of the remaining outposts and ensuring the security of U.S. and allied forces and critical lines of supply (particularly key sections of the Ring Road) that sustain remaining forces will be key to crafting the withdrawal and pulling back to fewer, stronger and more secure positions. As that drawdown progresses — and particularly if a more substantive shift in strategy is implemented — the increased pace begins to bring new incentives into play. Of particular note will be both a military and political incentive to reduce casualties as the endgame draws closer.

The desire to accelerate the consolidation to more secure positions will clash with the need to pull back slowly and continue to provide Afghan forces with advice and assistance. The reorientation may expose potential vulnerabilities to Taliban attack in the process of transitioning to a new posture. Major reversals and defeats for Afghan security forces at the hands of the Taliban after they have been left to their own devices can be expected in at least some areas and will have wide repercussions, perhaps even shifting the psychology and perception of the war.

When ISAF units are paired closely with Afghan forces, those units have a stronger day-to-day tactical presence in the field, and other units are generally operating nearby. So while they are more vulnerable and exposed to threats like IEDs while out on patrol, they also — indeed, in part because of that exposure — have a more alert and robust posture. As the transition accelerates and particularly if Washington accelerates it, the posture and therefore the vulnerabilities of forces change.

Force protection remains a key consideration throughout. The United States gained considerable experience with that during the Iraq transition — though again, a political accommodation underlay much of that transition, which will not be the case in Afghanistan.

As the drawdown continues, ISAF will have to balance having advisers in the field alongside Afghan units for as long as possible against pulling more back to key strongholds and pulling them out of the country completely. In the former case, the close presence of advisers can improve the effectiveness of Afghan security forces and provide better situational awareness. But it also exposes smaller units to operations more distant from strongholds as the number of outposts and major positions begins to be reduced. And as the process of pulling back accelerates and particularly as allied forces increasingly hunker down on larger and more secure outposts, their already limited situational awareness will decline even further, which opens up its own vulnerabilities.

One of these will be the impact on not just situational awareness on the ground but intelligence collection and particularly exploitable relationships with local political factions. As the withdrawal becomes more and more undeniable and ISAF pulls back from key areas, the human relationships that underlie intelligence sharing will be affected and reduced. This is particularly the case in places where the Taliban are strongest, as villagers there return to a strategy of hedging their bets out of necessity and focus on the more enduring power structure, which in many areas will clearly be the Taliban.

The Taliban

Ultimately, the Taliban’s incentive vis-a-vis the United States and its allies — especially as their exit becomes increasingly undeniable — is to conserve and maximize their strength for a potential fight in the vacuum sure to ensue after the majority of foreign troops have left the country. At the same time, any “revolutionary” movement must be able to consolidate internal control and maintain discipline while continuing to make itself relevant to domestic constituencies. The Taliban also may seek to take advantage of the shifting tactical realities to demonstrate their strength and the extent of their reach across the country, not only by targeting newly independent and newly isolated Afghan units but by attempting to kill or even kidnap now-more isolated foreign troops.

Though this year the Taliban have demonstrated their ability to strike almost anywhere in the country, they so far have failed to demonstrate the ability to penetrate the perimeter of large, secured facilities with a sizable assault force or to bring crew-served weapons to bear in an effective supporting manner. Given the intensity and tempo of special operations forces raids on Taliban leadership and weapons caches, it is unclear whether the Taliban have managed to retain a significant cache of heavier arms and the capability to wield them.

The inherent danger of compromise and penetration of indigenous security forces also continues to loom large. The vulnerabilities of ISAF forces will grow and change while they begin to shift as mission and posture evolve — and those vulnerabilities will be particularly pronounced in places where the posture and presence remains residual and a legacy of a previous strategy instead of more fundamental rebalancing. The shift from a dispersed, counterinsurgency-focused orientation to a more limited and more secure presence will ultimately provide the space to reduce casualties, but it will necessarily entail more limited visibility and influence. And the transition will create space for potentially more significant Taliban successes on the battlefield.

Courtesy of StratFor, Reuters , Foreign Policy Magazine, and Jane's Defence Weekly

China - Fake Miracle

2011-05-26T14:03:00.003+03:00

China's miracles is one that is built on shifting sand. Yes, we know—Starry-eyed investors and a certain gray-haired con man named Bernie aren't responsible for the 2nd largest economy in the world. But there are some striking similarities that should make you think twice about the direction China is headed, and I am serious.

Consider this, China's economy (according to China) needs 8% annual growth, just to keep the roughly 16 million new people entering the work force from rising in jobless protest—and to keep up with climbing wages and to sustain a growing retired population. A combination of exports, loose lending practices, super low margins, and government spending help keep up the growth.

Now, does that sound healthy to you

References

1. World Bank

2. Stratfor

3. Ministry of Finance and Commerce, China

5 Minute Management Course

2011-05-25T08:10:00.000+03:00

Lesson 1:

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.

The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.

When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour.

Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.'

After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.

The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.

When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?'

'It was Bob the next door neighbour,' she replies.

'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?'

Moral of the story:

If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

Lesson 2:

A priest offered a Nun a lift.

She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.

The priest nearly had an accident.

After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.

The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'

The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.
The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'

The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.'

Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily
and went on her way.

On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'

Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.

Lesson 3:

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.

They rub it and a Genie comes out.
The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'
'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.'
Puff! She's gone.

'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.'

Puff! He's gone.

'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after
lunch.'

Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.

Lesson 4

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.

A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?'
The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

Lesson 5

A turkey was chatting with a bull.

'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.'
'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients.'

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.

The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.

Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.

He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

Moral of the story:
Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there..

Lesson 6

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.

While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.

As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was.

The dung was actually thawing him out!

He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.

Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.

(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your
friend.

(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep
your mouth shut!

Samuel Wanjiru - Murder most foul or terrible accident? Take a pick!

2011-05-21T15:25:00.002+03:00

After the passing away of Kenya's contemporary - if not all time - greatest athlete, I decided to take a dig into the circumstances surrounding his death. One thing noticeable is the fact that a woman is right smack in the middle of it.

Above is the trifecta of Wanjiru's women who are officially known - minus his Mum that is. To the left is the official wife according to the government, middle is a woman who is claiming to be carrying his son, and to the right is Wanjiru's wife according to his mother.

Happier Times....Wanjiru with Wife, Trizah Njeri

As our once mighty Police investigators get down to some serious business of getting us some answers the following questions linger in our minds and refuse to accept the contrasting explanations put forward so far

? If Njeri had already left the house after catching Wanjiru red handed with another woman and was fleeing his ire when Wanjiru was calling out for her and consequently did not see him jump; how and when did she become aware of the need to bring in the police?

? If Trizah Njeri was the one who summoned Wanjiru to travel to Nyahururu urgently; then why would the victim risk going home with another woman?

? If the watchman did not see the other woman namely Jane Nduta in the car when Wanjiru arrived: where did she emerge from?

? As Wanjiru seemed to be in a hurry to rush home at that time of the night to settle some issues and the Wife apparently away in Nairobi, how comes he,allegedly takes home a call girl for the night?

? From where does the Wife (Njeri) appear suddenly from at the very late hours?

? Is the watchman who 'witnessed' Wanjiru falling down the Balcony, the same Watchman who had dropped criminal charges against the deceased?

? Who was accompanying Njeri at this hour of the night?.

? Who called Njeri to inform her that Wanjiru had arrived and that she can now surface?

? Why did she lock the husband in the house and rush to the police station to bring officers...why couldn't she had done that earlier as she had come afterWanjiru? Why couldn't she have requested the cops to accompany her to her husband before she busted him with the call girl?

? And last but not least WHY did a renowned police officer like Jaspher Ombati, the senior most Cop at the crime scene, deduce that it was suicide and he wasn't there? Isn't that against police Standard Operating Procedures?

? Why were we being 'fed' the suicide line FIRST?

? See the picture below, note the Yellow Dot (commencement of fall) and the Red Dot (where Wanjiru allegedly hit his head). What are the chances of a fully fit athlete (drunk or not) dying from this fall?

AND WHY OH WHY ARE THE POLICE STILL FAILING TO SECURE CRIME SCENES? Isn't it surprising to see the deceased's wife operating the CCTV camera system THAT could have possibly captured the late Samuel Wanjiru's last dying moments? Hmm?

The house is a CRIME Scene, suicide or no suicide! The should have been a BOLD NO ENTRY sign for all except detectives. These are the fellows the govt claims can effectively investigate the PEV cases! Trust me, don't hold your breathe.

So guys, wallow in the suspense that is attached to this story.

Barack Obama's New Middle East North Africa Policy

2011-05-20T07:42:00.001+03:00

I want to thank Hillary Clinton, who has traveled so much these last six months that she is approaching a new landmark -- one million frequent flyer miles. I count on Hillary every day, and I believe that she will go down as of the finest Secretaries of State in our nation's history.

The State Department is a fitting venue to mark a new chapter in American diplomacy. For six months, we have witnessed an extraordinary change take place in the Middle East and North Africa. Square by square; town by town; country by country; the people have risen up to demand their basic human rights. Two leaders have stepped aside. More may follow. And though these countries may be a great distance from our shores, we know that our own future is bound to this region by the forces of economics and security; history and faith.

Today, I would like to talk about this change -- the forces that are driving it, and how we can respond in a way that advances our values and strengthens our security. Already, we have done much to shift our foreign policy following a decade defined by two costly conflicts. After years of war in Iraq, we have removed 100,000 American troops and ended our combat mission there. In Afghanistan, we have broken the Taliban's momentum, and this July we will begin to bring our troops home and continue transition to Afghan lead. And after years of war against al Qaeda and its affiliates, we have dealt al Qaeda a huge blow by killing its leader -- Osama bin Laden.

Bin Laden was no martyr. He was a mass murderer who offered a message of hate -- an insistence that Muslims had to take up arms against the West, and that violence against men, women and children was the only path to change. He rejected democracy and individual rights for Muslims in favor of violent extremism; his agenda focused on what he could destroy -- not what he could build.

Bin Laden and his murderous vision won some adherents. But even before his death, al Qaeda was losing its struggle for relevance, as the overwhelming majority of people saw that the slaughter of innocents did not answer their cries for a better life. By the time we found bin Laden, al Qaeda's agenda had come to be seen by the vast majority of the region as a dead end, and the people of the Middle East and North Africa had taken their future into their own hands.

That story of self-determination began six months ago in Tunisia. On December 17, a young vendor named Mohammed Bouazizi was devastated when a police officer confiscated his cart. This was not unique. It is the same kind of humiliation that takes place every day in many parts of the world -- the relentless tyranny of governments that deny their citizens dignity. Only this time, something different happened. After local officials refused to hear his complaint, this young man who had never been particularly active in politics went to the headquarters of the provincial government, doused himself in fuel, and lit himself on fire.

Sometimes, in the course of history, the actions of ordinary citizens spark movements for change because they speak to a longing for freedom that has built up for years. In America, think of the defiance of those patriots in Boston who refused to pay taxes to a King, or the dignity of Rosa Parks as she sat courageously in her seat. So it was in Tunisia, as that vendor's act of desperation tapped into the frustration felt throughout the country. Hundreds of protesters took to the streets, then thousands. And in the face of batons and sometimes bullets, they refused to go home -- day after day, week after week, until a dictator of more than two decades finally left power.

The story of this Revolution, and the ones that followed, should not have come as a surprise. The nations of the Middle East and North Africa won their independence long ago, but in too many places their people did not. In too many countries, power has been concentrated in the hands of the few. In too many countries, a citizen like that young vendor had nowhere to turn -- no honest judiciary to hear his case; no independent media to give him voice; no credible political party to represent his views; no free and fair election where he could choose his leader.

This lack of self determination -- the chance to make of your life what you will -- has applied to the region's economy as well. Yes, some nations are blessed with wealth in oil and gas, and that has led to pockets of prosperity. But in a global economy based on knowledge and innovation, no development strategy can be based solely upon what comes out of the ground. Nor can people reach their potential when you cannot start a business without paying a bribe.

In the face of these challenges, too many leaders in the region tried to direct their people's grievances elsewhere. The West was blamed as the source of all ills, a half century after the end of colonialism. Antagonism toward Israel became the only acceptable outlet for political expression. Divisions of tribe, ethnicity and religious sect were manipulated as a means of holding on to power, or taking it away from somebody else.

But the events of the past six months show us that strategies of repression and diversion won't work anymore. Satellite television and the Internet provide a window into the wider world -- a world of astonishing progress in places like India, Indonesia and Brazil. Cell phones and social networks allow young people to connect and organize like never before. A new generation has emerged. And their voices tell us that change cannot be denied.

In Cairo, we heard the voice of the young mother who said, "It's like I can finally breathe fresh air for the first time."

In Sanaa, we heard the students who chanted, "The night must come to an end."

In Benghazi, we heard the engineer who said, "Our words are free now. It's a feeling you can't explain."

In Damascus, we heard the young man who said, "After the first yelling, the first shout, you feel dignity."

Those shouts of human dignity are being heard across the region. And through the moral force of non-violence, the people of the region have achieved more change in six months than terrorists have accomplished in decades.

Of course, change of this magnitude does not come easily. In our day and age -- a time of 24 hour news cycles, and constant communication -- people expect the transformation of the region to be resolved in a matter of weeks. But it will be years before this story reaches its end. Along the way, there will be good days, and bad days. In some places, change will be swift; in others, gradual. And as we have seen, calls for change may give way to fierce contests for power.

The question before us is what role America will play as this story unfolds. For decades, the United States has pursued a set of core interests in the region: countering terrorism and stopping the spread of nuclear weapons; securing the free flow of commerce, and safe-guarding the security of the region; standing up for Israel's security and pursuing Arab-Israeli peace.

We will continue to do these things, with the firm belief that America's interests are not hostile to peoples' hopes; they are essential to them. We believe that no one benefits from a nuclear arms race in the region, or al Qaeda's brutal attacks. People everywhere would see their economies crippled by a cut off in energy supplies. As we did in the Gulf War, we will not tolerate aggression across borders, and we will keep our commitments to friends and partners.

Yet we must acknowledge that a strategy based solely upon the narrow pursuit of these interests will not fill an empty stomach or allow someone to speak their mind. Moreover, failure to speak to the broader aspirations of ordinary people will only feed the suspicion that has festered for years that the United States pursues our own interests at their expense. Given that this mistrust runs both ways -- as Americans have been seared by hostage taking, violent rhetoric, and terrorist attacks that have killed thousands of our citizens -- a failure to change our approach threatens a deepening spiral of division between the United States and Muslim communities.

That's why, two years ago in Cairo, I began to broaden our engagement based upon mutual interests and mutual respect. I believed then -- and I believe now -- that we have a stake not just in the stability of nations, but in the self determination of individuals. The status quo is not sustainable. Societies held together by fear and repression may offer the illusion of stability for a time, but they are built upon fault lines that will eventually tear asunder.

So we face an historic opportunity. We have embraced the chance to show that America values the dignity of the street vendor in Tunisia more than the raw power of the dictator. There must be no doubt that the United States of America welcomes change that advances self-determination and opportunity. Yes, there will be perils that accompany this moment of promise. But after decades of accepting the world as it is in the region, we have a chance to pursue the world as it should be.

As we do, we must proceed with a sense of humility. It is not America that put people into the streets of Tunis and Cairo -- it was the people themselves who launched these movements, and must determine their outcome. Not every country will follow our particular form of representative democracy, and there will be times when our short term interests do not align perfectly with our long term vision of the region. But we can -- and will -- speak out for a set of core principles -- principles that have guided our response to the events over the past six months:

The United States opposes the use of violence and repression against the people of the region.

We support a set of universal rights. Those rights include free speech; the freedom of peaceful assembly; freedom of religion; equality for men and women under the rule of law; and the right to choose your own leaders -- whether you live in Baghdad or Damascus; Sanaa or Tehran.

And finally, we support political and economic reform in the Middle East and North Africa that can meet the legitimate aspirations of ordinary people throughout the region.

Our support for these principles is not a secondary interest- today I am making it clear that it is a top priority that must be translated into concrete actions, and supported by all of the diplomatic, economic and strategic tools at our disposal.

Let me be specific. First, it will be the policy of the United States to promote reform across the region, and to support transitions to democracy.

That effort begins in Egypt and Tunisia, where the stakes are high -as Tunisia was at the vanguard of this democratic wave, and Egypt is both a longstanding partner and the Arab World's largest nation. Both nations can set a strong example through free and fair elections; a vibrant civil society; accountable and effective democratic institutions; and responsible regional leadership. But our support must also extend to nations where transitions have yet to take place.

Unfortunately, in too many countries, calls for change have been answered by violence. The most extreme example is Libya, where Moammar Gaddafi launched a war against his people, promising to hunt them down like rats. As I said when the United States joined an international coalition to intervene, we cannot prevent every injustice perpetrated by a regime against its people, and we have learned from our experience in Iraq just how costly and difficult it is to impose regime change by force -- no matter how well-intended it may be.

But in Libya, we saw the prospect of imminent massacre, had a mandate for action, and heard the Libyan people's call for help. Had we not acted along with our NATO allies and regional coalition partners, thousands would have been killed. The message would have been clear: keep power by killing as many people as it takes. Now, time is working against Gaddafi. He does not have control over his country. The opposition has organized a legitimate and credible Interim Council. And when Gaddafi inevitably leaves or is forced from power, decades of provocation will come to an end, and the transition to a democratic Libya can proceed.

While Libya has faced violence on the greatest scale, it is not the only place where leaders have turned to repression to remain in power. Most recently, the Syrian regime has chosen the path of murder and the mass arrests of its citizens. The United States has condemned these actions, and working with the international community we have stepped up our sanctions on the Syrian regime -- including sanctions announced yesterday on President Assad and those around him.

The Syrian people have shown their courage in demanding a transition to democracy. President Assad now has a choice: he can lead that transition, or get out of the way. The Syrian government must stop shooting demonstrators and allow peaceful protests; release political prisoners and stop unjust arrests; allow human rights monitors to have access to cities like Dara'a; and start a serious dialogue to advance a democratic transition. Otherwise, President Assad and his regime will continue to be challenged from within and isolated abroad

Thus far, Syria has followed its Iranian ally, seeking assistance from Tehran in the tactics of suppression. This speaks to the hypocrisy of the Iranian regime, which says it stand for the rights of protesters abroad, yet suppresses its people at home. Let us remember that the first peaceful protests were in the streets of Tehran, where the government brutalized women and men, and threw innocent people into jail. We still hear the chants echo from the rooftops of Tehran. The image of a young woman dying in the streets is still seared in our memory. And we will continue to insist that the Iranian people deserve their universal rights, and a government that does not smother their aspirations.

Our opposition to Iran's intolerance -- as well as its illicit nuclear program, and its sponsorship of terror -- is well known. But if America is to be credible, we must acknowledge that our friends in the region have not all reacted to the demands for change consistent with the principles that I have outlined today. That is true in Yemen, where President Saleh needs to follow through on his commitment to transfer power. And that is true, today, in Bahrain.

Bahrain is a long-standing partner, and we are committed to its security. We recognize that Iran has tried to take advantage of the turmoil there, and that the Bahraini government has a legitimate interest in the rule of law. Nevertheless, we have insisted publically and privately that mass arrests and brute force are at odds with the universal rights of Bahrain's citizens, and will not make legitimate calls for reform go away. The only way forward is for the government and opposition to engage in a dialogue, and you can't have a real dialogue when parts of the peaceful opposition are in jail. The government must create the conditions for dialogue, and the opposition must participate to forge a just future for all Bahrainis.

Indeed, one of the broader lessons to be drawn from this period is that sectarian divides need not lead to conflict. In Iraq, we see the promise of a multi-ethnic, multi-sectarian democracy. There, the Iraqi people have rejected the perils of political violence for a democratic process, even as they have taken full responsibility for their own security. Like all new democracies, they will face setbacks. But Iraq is poised to play a key role in the region if it continues its peaceful progress. As they do, we will be proud to stand with them as a steadfast partner.

So in the months ahead, America must use all our influence to encourage reform in the region. Even as we acknowledge that each country is different, we will need to speak honestly about the principles that we believe in, with friend and foe alike. Our message is simple: if you take the risks that reform entails, you will have the full support of the United States. We must also build on our efforts to broaden our engagement beyond elites, so that we reach the people who will shape the future -- particularly young people.

We will continue to make good on the commitments that I made in Cairo -- to build networks of entrepreneurs, and expand exchanges in education; to foster cooperation in science and technology, and combat disease. Across the region, we intend to provide assistance to civil society, including those that may not be officially sanctioned, and who speak uncomfortable truths. And we will use the technology to connect with -- and listen to -- the voices of the people.

In fact, real reform will not come at the ballot box alone. Through our efforts we must support those basic rights to speak your mind and access information. We will support open access to the Internet, and the right of journalists to be heard -- whether it's a big news organization or a blogger. In the 21st century, information is power; the truth cannot be hidden; and the legitimacy of governments will ultimately depend on active and informed citizens.

Such open discourse is important even if what is said does not square with our worldview. America respects the right of all peaceful and law-abiding voices to be heard, even if we disagree with them. We look forward to working with all who embrace genuine and inclusive democracy. What we will oppose is an attempt by any group to restrict the rights of others, and to hold power through coercion -- not consent. Because democracy depends not only on elections, but also strong and accountable institutions, and respect for the rights of minorities.

Such tolerance is particularly important when it comes to religion. In Tahrir Square, we heard Egyptians from all walks of life chant, "Muslims, Christians, we are one." America will work to see that this spirit prevails -- that all faiths are respected, and that bridges are built among them. In a region that was the birthplace of three world religions, intolerance can lead only to suffering and stagnation. And for this season of change to succeed, Coptic Christians must have the right to worship freely in Cairo, just as Shia must never have their mosques destroyed in Bahrain.

What is true for religious minorities is also true when it comes to the rights of women. History shows that countries are more prosperous and peaceful when women are empowered. That is why we will continue to insist that universal rights apply to women as well as men -- by focusing assistance on child and maternal health; by helping women to teach, or start a business; by standing up for the right of women to have their voices heard, and to run for office. For the region will never reach its potential when more than half its population is prevented from achieving their potential.

Even as we promote political reform and human rights in the region, our efforts cannot stop there. So the second way that we must support positive change in the region is through our efforts to advance economic development for nations that transition to democracy.

After all, politics alone has not put protesters into the streets. The tipping point for so many people is the more constant concern of putting food on the table and providing for a family. Too many in the region wake up with few expectations other than making it through the day, and perhaps the hope that their luck will change. Throughout the region, many young people have a solid education, but closed economies leave them unable to find a job. Entrepreneurs are brimming with ideas, but corruption leaves them unable to profit from them.

The greatest untapped resource in the Middle East and North Africa is the talent of its people. In the recent protests, we see that talent on display, as people harness technology to move the world. It's no coincidence that one of the leaders of Tahrir Square was an executive for Google. That energy now needs to be channeled, in country after country, so that economic growth can solidify the accomplishments of the street. Just as democratic revolutions can be triggered by a lack of individual opportunity, successful democratic transitions depend upon an expansion of growth and broad-based prosperity.

Drawing from what we've learned around the world, we think it's important to focus on trade, not just aid; and investment, not just assistance. The goal must be a model in which protectionism gives way to openness; the reigns of commerce pass from the few to the many, and the economy generates jobs for the young. America's support for democracy will therefore be based on ensuring financial stability; promoting reform; and integrating competitive markets with each other and the global economy -- starting with Tunisia and Egypt.

First, we have asked the World Bank and the International Monetary Fund to present a plan at next week's G-8 summit for what needs to be done to stabilize and modernize the economies of Tunisia and Egypt. Together, we must help them recover from the disruption of their democratic upheaval, and support the governments that will be elected later this year. And we are urging other countries to help Egypt and Tunisia meet its near-term financial needs.

Second, we do not want a democratic Egypt to be saddled by the debts of its past. So we will relieve a democratic Egypt of up to $1 billion in debt, and work with our Egyptian partners to invest these resources to foster growth and entrepreneurship. We will help Egypt regain access to markets by guaranteeing $1 billion in borrowing that is needed to finance infrastructure and job creation. And we will help newly democratic governments recover assets that were stolen.

Third, we are working with Congress to create Enterprise Funds to invest in Tunisia and Egypt. These will be modeled on funds that supported the transitions in Eastern Europe after the fall of the Berlin Wall. OPIC will soon launch a $2 billion facility to support private investment across the region. And we will work with allies to refocus the European Bank for Reconstruction and Development so that it provides the same support for democratic transitions and economic modernization in the Middle East and North Africa as it has in Europe.

Fourth, the United States will launch a comprehensive Trade and Investment Partnership Initiative in the Middle East and North Africa. If you take out oil exports, this region of over 400 million people exports roughly the same amount as Switzerland. So we will work with the EU to facilitate more trade within the region, build on existing agreements to promote integration with U.S. and European markets, and open the door for those countries who adopt high standards of reform and trade liberalization to construct a regional trade arrangement. Just as EU membership served as an incentive for reform in Europe, so should the vision of a modern and prosperous economy create a powerful force for reform in the Middle East and North Africa.

Prosperity also requires tearing down walls that stand in the way of progress -- the corruption of elites who steal from their people; the red tape that stops an idea from becoming a business; the patronage that distributes wealth based on tribe or sect. We will help governments meet international obligations, and invest efforts anti-corruption; by working with parliamentarians who are developing reforms, and activists who use technology to hold government accountable.

Let me conclude by talking about another cornerstone of our approach to the region, and that relates to the pursuit of peace.

For decades, the conflict between Israelis and Arabs has cast a shadow over the region. For Israelis, it has meant living with the fear that their children could get blown up on a bus or by rockets fired at their homes, as well as the pain of knowing that other children in the region are taught to hate them. For Palestinians, it has meant suffering the humiliation of occupation, and never living in a nation of their own. Moreover, this conflict has come with a larger cost the Middle East, as it impedes partnerships that could bring greater security, prosperity, and empowerment to ordinary people.

My Administration has worked with the parties and the international community for over two years to end this conflict, yet expectations have gone unmet. Israeli settlement activity continues. Palestinians have walked away from talks. The world looks at a conflict that has grinded on for decades, and sees a stalemate. Indeed, there are those who argue that with all the change and uncertainty in the region, it is simply not possible to move forward.

I disagree. At a time when the people of the Middle East and North Africa are casting off the burdens of the past, the drive for a lasting peace that ends the conflict and resolves all claims is more urgent than ever.

For the Palestinians, efforts to delegitimize Israel will end in failure. Symbolic actions to isolate Israel at the United Nations in September won't create an independent state. Palestinian leaders will not achieve peace or prosperity if Hamas insists on a path of terror and rejection. And Palestinians will never realize their independence by denying the right of Israel to exist.

As for Israel, our friendship is rooted deeply in a shared history and shared values. Our commitment to Israel's security is unshakeable. And we will stand against attempts to single it out for criticism in international forums. But precisely because of our friendship, it is important that we tell the truth: the status quo is unsustainable, and Israel too must act boldly to advance a lasting peace.

The fact is, a growing number of Palestinians live west of the Jordan River. Technology will make it harder for Israel to defend itself. A region undergoing profound change will lead to populism in which millions of people -- not just a few leaders -- must believe peace is possible. The international community is tired of an endless process that never produces an outcome. The dream of a Jewish and democratic state cannot be fulfilled with permanent occupation.

Ultimately, it is up to Israelis and Palestinians to take action. No peace can be imposed upon them, nor can endless delay make the problem go away. But what America and the international community can do is state frankly what everyone knows: a lasting peace will involve two states for two peoples. Israel as a Jewish state and the homeland for the Jewish people, and the state of Palestine as the homeland for the Palestinian people; each state enjoying self-determination, mutual recognition, and peace.

So while the core issues of the conflict must be negotiated, the basis of those negotiations is clear: a viable Palestine, and a secure Israel. The United States believes that negotiations should result in two states, with permanent Palestinian borders with Israel, Jordan, and Egypt, and permanent Israeli borders with Palestine. The borders of Israel and Palestine should be based on the 1967 lines with mutually agreed swaps, so that secure and recognized borders are established for both states. The Palestinian people must have the right to govern themselves, and reach their potential, in a sovereign and contiguous state.

As for security, every state has the right to self-defense, and Israel must be able to defend itself -- by itself -- against any threat. Provisions must also be robust enough to prevent a resurgence of terrorism; to stop the infiltration of weapons; and to provide effective border security. The full and phased withdrawal of Israeli military forces should be coordinated with the assumption of Palestinian security responsibility in a sovereign, non-militarized state. The duration of this transition period must be agreed, and the effectiveness of security arrangements must be demonstrated.

These principles provide a foundation for negotiations. Palestinians should know the territorial outlines of their state; Israelis should know that their basic security concerns will be met. I know that these steps alone will not resolve this conflict. Two wrenching and emotional issues remain: the future of Jerusalem, and the fate of Palestinian refugees. But moving forward now on the basis of territory and security provides a foundation to resolve those two issues in a way that is just and fair, and that respects the rights and aspirations of Israelis and Palestinians.

Recognizing that negotiations need to begin with the issues of territory and security does not mean that it will be easy to come back to the table. In particular, the recent announcement of an agreement between Fatah and Hamas raises profound and legitimate questions for Israel -- how can one negotiate with a party that has shown itself unwilling to recognize your right to exist. In the weeks and months to come, Palestinian leaders will have to provide a credible answer to that question. Meanwhile, the United States, our Quartet partners, and the Arab states will need to continue every effort to get beyond the current impasse.

I recognize how hard this will be. Suspicion and hostility has been passed on for generations, and at times it has hardened. But I'm convinced that the majority of Israelis and Palestinians would rather look to the future than be trapped in the past. We see that spirit in the Israeli father whose son was killed by Hamas, who helped start an organization that brought together Israelis and Palestinians who had lost loved ones. He said, "I gradually realized that the only hope for progress was to recognize the face of the conflict." And we see it in the actions of a Palestinian who lost three daughters to Israeli shells in Gaza. "I have the right to feel angry," he said. "So many people were expecting me to hate. My answer to them is I shall not hate.… Let us hope," he said, "for tomorrow"

That is the choice that must be made -- not simply in this conflict, but across the entire region -- a choice between hate and hope; between the shackles of the past, and the promise of the future. It's a choice that must be made by leaders and by people, and it's a choice that will define the future of a region that served as the cradle of civilization and a crucible of strife.

For all the challenges that lie ahead, we see many reasons to be hopeful. In Egypt, we see it in the efforts of young people who led protests. In Syria, we see it in the courage of those who brave bullets while chanting, ‘peaceful,' ‘peaceful.' In Benghazi, a city threatened with destruction, we see it in the courthouse square where people gather to celebrate the freedoms that they had never known. Across the region, those rights that we take for granted are being claimed with joy by those who are prying lose the grip of an iron fist.

For the American people, the scenes of upheaval in the region may be unsettling, but the forces driving it are not unfamiliar. Our own nation was founded through a rebellion against an empire. Our people fought a painful civil war that extended freedom and dignity to those who were enslaved. And I would not be standing here today unless past generations turned to the moral force of non-violence as a way to perfect our union -- organizing, marching, and protesting peacefully together to make real those words that declared our nation: "We hold these truths to be self evident, that all men are created equal."

Those words must guide our response to the change that is transforming the Middle East and North Africa -- words which tell us that repression will fail, that tyrants will fall, and that every man and woman is endowed with certain inalienable rights. It will not be easy. There is no straight line to progress, and hardship always accompanies a season of hope. But the United States of America was founded on the belief that people should govern themselves. Now, we cannot hesitate to stand squarely on the side of those who are reaching for their rights, knowing that their success will bring about a world that is more peaceful, more stable, and more just.

Reference

1. Whitehouse

2. Foreign Policy Magazine

Civilian and Soldier

2011-05-19T20:07:00.001+03:00

My apparition rose from the fall of lead,
Declared, 'I am a civilian.' It only served
To aggravate your fright. For how could I
Have risen, a being of this world, in that hour
Of impartial death! And I thought also: nor is
Your quarrel of this world.

You stood still
For both eternities, and oh I heard the lesson
Of your traing sessions, cautioning -
Scorch earth behind you, do not leave
A dubious neutral to the rear. Reiteration
Of my civilian quandary, burrowing earth
From the lead festival of your more eager friends
Worked the worse on your confusion, and when
You brought the gun to bear on me, and death
Twitched me gently in the eye, your plight
And all of you came clear to me.

I hope some day
Intent upon my trade of living, to be checked
In stride by your apparition in a trench,
Signalling, I am a soldier. No hesitation then
But I shall shoot you clean and fair
With meat and bread, a gourd of wine
A bunch of breasts from either arm, and that
Lone question - do you friend, even now, know
What it is all about?

By Wole Soyinka

Why Choice of Tobiko as DPP is a Faux Pax

2011-05-19T19:09:00.002+03:00

Impunity has been a major concern of Kenyans. Why should wananchi be tried, and convicted of crimes whether major or petty (and sentenced to severe terms of imprisonment), while the prominent, wealthy and well connected walk free however grave their offences? Repeatedly severe action is promised against those who have looted, raped, grabbed land, taken bribes or even committed murder, but nothing happens. Files are lost, reports are suppressed, witnesses disappear or recant, judges make incomprehensible decisions – all leading to wickedness going unpunished. From the Wagalla massacre to the latest piece of land grabbing the story is the same.

The causes have been identified. Apart from a certain moral decay, a culture of impunity among the ruling classes, the institutions have simply not been up to the task. When they have not been co-opted, they have been intimidated. A major culprit has been the Attorney-General. In theory independent, but in reality a tool of the government of the day, Attorneys-General have been propagators of impunity – and its beneficiaries.

The Constitutional solution includes abandoning the Attorney-General as a way to ensure justice. Although the office will still have a general responsibility for promoting the rule of law, the AG is to be mostly just the government’s lawyer, appointed - with National Assembly approval - and dismissible by the President.

Responsibilities for prosecution are now to be exercised by the DPP. Now this office it is to be truly independent. The DPP cannot be controlled by the AG. Appointment is to involve the President, but the President cannot dismiss the person. The DPP cannot even have a second term – just one term of 8 years. The DPP is not to need anyone’s permission to prosecute a case. And must not be under anyone’s control.

In the past the AG has been able to withdraw prosecutions at will, even those started by others: the ancient, much abused, nolle prosequi. Now taking over a prosecution started by anyone else is to be a power of the DPP. And he or she must not stop any prosecution without the approval of the court.

The DPP needs to be a person of solid legal knowledge, especially in the area of criminal law. Even more he or she must have independence of mind, strength of character and without any “skeleton in the cupboard” which might be used to undermine that independence. Like any other state officer, the DPP must satisfy Chapter 6 on Integrity.

Now that Keriako Tobiko has emerged as the front runner, I believe I have a responsibility to share my knowledge of him publicly – my private communication to the nominating committee having made no impact.

My knowledge of Tobiko is based largely on his performance as a commissioner of the CKRC. Under their oath, commissioners were to exercise their responsibilities “without fear, favour, bias, affection, ill will, or prejudice”, and without “influence by any political party, religious society or any organisation or person which may have nominated me for the appointment”. This oath, and the Code of Conduct, Tobiko repeatedly violated.

Tobiko was the leader of commissioners who on the basis of lies waged a campaign to get rid of me. He led the group which went to see President Moi, widely believed to urge him to remove me. This did much to discredit the commission, but the very publicity meant that his plot fizzled out.

He constantly reported to the President and some ministers, in clear breach of confidentiality and impartiality. He engaged in a campaign to disrupt the work of the commission to prevent the drafting and adoption of the new constitution.

A drafter prepared a mock up of a draft constitution, with a view to presenting the possible architecture of the constitution for discussion by the commission. Tobiko somehow wormed his way into my office and removed it. Tearing away the front page (with its explanation of the purpose of the document), he made several copies, one delivered to President Moi and others distributed to the media. He told them that I had secretly prepared the constitution on my own. This story appeared prominently in the media, but fortunately was rapidly discredited as the front page was shown to them.

During procedures to remove the first Secretary of the commission, for dishonesty and failure to perform his functions, Tobiko took the secretary into hiding and removed his phone to prevent the commission from contacting him. It was only when pressure was brought on him by his political masters that the Secretary emerged - and resigned.

When the commission was about to start preparing the draft constitution after consulting the people, Tobiko objected, saying that people had not been consulted! However, apart from a handful of commissioners who joined him in the boycott or sabotage of the process, the commission completed the draft. Tobiko’s sole contribution was to take copies of our confidential papers and pass them on to persons who were not authorized to receive copies them..

Although a lawyer with a good degree, his intellectual contribution was negligible. I personally have no recollection of a single idea or proposal about the constitution that he made.

He later becomes DPP, as a member of the system that has perpetuated impunity (most recently Ruto’s acquittal in the land case). Is he a suitable person to be appointed to the new more powerful office designed to eradicate this evil?

By Yash Pal Ghai

The Raven

2011-05-18T09:04:00.001+03:00

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore,
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.
"'Tis some visitor," I muttered, "tapping at my chamber door -
Only this, and nothing more."

Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak December,
And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor.
Eagerly I wished the morrow; - vainly I had sought to borrow
From my books surcease of sorrow - sorrow for the lost Lenore -
For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore -
Nameless here for evermore.

And the silken sad uncertain rustling of each purple curtain
Thrilled me - filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before;
So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating,
"'Tis some visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door -
Some late visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door; -
This it is, and nothing more."

Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
"Sir," said I, "or Madam, truly your forgiveness I implore;
But the fact is I was napping, and so gently you came rapping,
And so faintly you came tapping, tapping at my chamber door,
That I scarce was sure I heard you"- here I opened wide the door; -
Darkness there, and nothing more.

Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing,
Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortals ever dared to dream before;
But the silence was unbroken, and the stillness gave no token,
And the only word there spoken was the whispered word, "Lenore?"
This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word, "Lenore!" -
Merely this, and nothing more.

Back into the chamber turning, all my soul within me burning,
Soon again I heard a tapping somewhat louder than before.
"Surely," said I, "surely that is something at my window lattice:
Let me see, then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore -
Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore; -
'Tis the wind and nothing more."

Open here I flung the shutter, when, with many a flirt and flutter,
In there stepped a stately raven of the saintly days of yore;
Not the least obeisance made he; not a minute stopped or stayed he;
But, with mien of lord or lady, perched above my chamber door -
Perched upon a bust of Pallas just above my chamber door -
Perched, and sat, and nothing more.

Then this ebony bird beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,
By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance it wore.
"Though thy crest be shorn and shaven, thou," I said, "art sure no craven,
Ghastly grim and ancient raven wandering from the Nightly shore -
Tell me what thy lordly name is on the Night's Plutonian shore!"
Quoth the Raven, "Nevermore."

Much I marvelled this ungainly fowl to hear discourse so plainly,
Though its answer little meaning- little relevancy bore;
For we cannot help agreeing that no living human being
Ever yet was blest with seeing bird above his chamber door -
Bird or beast upon the sculptured bust above his chamber door,
With such name as "Nevermore."

But the raven, sitting lonely on the placid bust, spoke only
That one word, as if his soul in that one word he did outpour.
Nothing further then he uttered- not a feather then he fluttered -
Till I scarcely more than muttered, "other friends have flown before -
On the morrow he will leave me, as my hopes have flown before."
Then the bird said, "Nevermore."

Startled at the stillness broken by reply so aptly spoken,
"Doubtless," said I, "what it utters is its only stock and store,
Caught from some unhappy master whom unmerciful Disaster
Followed fast and followed faster till his songs one burden bore -
Till the dirges of his Hope that melancholy burden bore
Of 'Never - nevermore'."

But the Raven still beguiling all my fancy into smiling,
Straight I wheeled a cushioned seat in front of bird, and bust and door;
Then upon the velvet sinking, I betook myself to linking
Fancy unto fancy, thinking what this ominous bird of yore -
What this grim, ungainly, ghastly, gaunt and ominous bird of yore
Meant in croaking "Nevermore."

This I sat engaged in guessing, but no syllable expressing
To the fowl whose fiery eyes now burned into my bosom's core;
This and more I sat divining, with my head at ease reclining
On the cushion's velvet lining that the lamplight gloated o'er,
But whose velvet violet lining with the lamplight gloating o'er,
She shall press, ah, nevermore!

Then methought the air grew denser, perfumed from an unseen censer
Swung by Seraphim whose footfalls tinkled on the tufted floor.
"Wretch," I cried, "thy God hath lent thee - by these angels he hath sent thee
Respite - respite and nepenthe, from thy memories of Lenore:
Quaff, oh quaff this kind nepenthe and forget this lost Lenore!"
Quoth the Raven, "Nevermore."

"Prophet!" said I, "thing of evil! - prophet still, if bird or devil! -
Whether Tempter sent, or whether tempest tossed thee here ashore,
Desolate yet all undaunted, on this desert land enchanted -
On this home by horror haunted- tell me truly, I implore -
Is there - is there balm in Gilead? - tell me - tell me, I implore!"
Quoth the Raven, "Nevermore."

"Prophet!" said I, "thing of evil - prophet still, if bird or devil!
By that Heaven that bends above us - by that God we both adore -
Tell this soul with sorrow laden if, within the distant Aidenn,
It shall clasp a sainted maiden whom the angels name Lenore -
Clasp a rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore."
Quoth the Raven, "Nevermore."

"Be that word our sign in parting, bird or fiend," I shrieked, upstarting -
"Get thee back into the tempest and the Night's Plutonian shore!
Leave no black plume as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken!
Leave my loneliness unbroken!- quit the bust above my door!
Take thy beak from out my heart, and take thy form from off my door!"
Quoth the Raven, "Nevermore."

And the Raven, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting
On the pallid bust of Pallas just above my chamber door;
And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon's that is dreaming,
And the lamplight o'er him streaming throws his shadow on the floor;
And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor
Shall be lifted - nevermore!

By Edgar Allan Poe

A Close Encounter with Dr. Willy Mutunga

2011-05-18T08:40:00.001+03:00

He had a distinguished career as a law lecturer at the University of Nairobi in the 1980’s, has actively engaged in the political reform movement for over two decades, and was LSK Chairperson in 1993-95 after serving previously in various capacities including vice-chair (1991-93). He was also a leader in the Citizens Coalition for Constitutional Change (4 C’s), later giving rise to NCEC. So his reform credentials cannot be questioned.

He was Executive Director of Kenya Human Rights Commission (KHRC) from 1998, and had previously co-founded it with Maina Kiai in 1993. He was part of the Kenya Alliance for Change, which led effort to form an opposition alliance, eventually NARC, in the sunset years of Moi’s regime. After 2002 elections, Mutunga was appointed by President Kibaki to the Council of Jomo Kenyatta University (JKUAT), but he declined the position, explaining that he did not consider himself qualified for the position and also that the President had not consulted him before making the appointment.

He wears an earring, and if asked to choose between the earring and the CJ’s position, he would choose the former. He states that he wears the earring not because of his sexuality but spirituality. He says he is attached to it the way a Catholic is attached to a crucifix.

He started off as a practitioner of African traditional religion, became a Catholic, Protestant and now is a Muslim although he still follows his ancestors. In fact, he says it is his ancestors who instructed him in 2003 to wear the earring as a connection to them so that they can protect him. Since then he has religiously followed the direction.

He states that he is not gay, and neither is he homophobic. He is a father of four. He has been married twice and is currently engaged in divorce proceedings in relation to his second marriage. All his four children are from his first marriage.

Courtesy of Daily Nation

Phenomenal Woman

2011-05-17T17:59:00.002+03:00

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It's the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.
I say,
It's in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman

Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

By Maya Angelou

A Good Pirate is a Dead Pirate

2011-05-17T10:40:00.002+03:00

The economic costs of piracy in the Indian Ocean were as high as US$12 billion last year, according to an analysis by World Bank and International Maritime Board (IMB). The total costs – including ransoms, insurance cover, naval operations, prosecutions and the rerouting of ships to avoid piracy danger zones – were estimated to be between $7 billion and $12 billion in 2010 alone. Some analysts predict that the costs of piracy could rise even higher to $15 billion by 2015.

A further study suggests that Somali pirates earn up to $79,000 a year, 150 times the average annual income in Somalia.

As at 28 April, Somali pirates continued to hold 26 vessels and 518 hostages, according to figures compiled by IMB. Hostages include the seven Indian seafarers from the Asphalt Venture who pirates continue to hold despite the payment of a ransom to free the ship and rest of the crew last month.

Recent incidents reported to the IMB’s worldwide Piracy Reporting Centre include:

* Pirates armed with rocket-propelled grenade (RPG) and guns chased and fired on a tanker 220 nautical miles south of Oman on 11 May. The captain raised the alarm, took evasive manoeuvres and instructed the crew to proceed into the citadel. The pirates abandoned their attack after the armed onboard security team took measures to deter them boarding.

* Two pirate skiffs approached a containership off Somalia on 10 May but abandoned their pursuit after the vessel altered course, increased speed, raised the alarm and the crew went into the citadel.

* Pirates armed with RPG and guns chased and fired on a bulk carrier 235 nautical miles off Salalah, Oman on 10 May but abandoned their attack after the captain raised the alarm and took evasive manoeuvres.

* Five pirates armed with RPG and automatic weapons fired on a bulk carrier 280 nautical miles east of Socotra island, Yemen on 8 May. The vessel raised the alarm, increased speed, made evasive manoeuvres, deployed the onboard security team and contacted the military authorities, who deployed a military aircraft. The pirates abandoned their attack after the onboard security team fired warning shots.

* Armed robbers boarded a chemical tanker anchored at Cotonou, Benin on 8 May, assaulted some crewmembers and escaped with ship’s and crew property. That evening, six armed pirates boarded a tanker 20 nautical miles off Cotonou, opened fire on the bridge and accommodation, and escaped with ship’s cash and crew personal belongings. Two crew members were injured during the raid.

* Twelve robbers armed with guns boarded a containership anchored at Guayaquil, Ecuador on 7 May. The crew locked all the accommodation doors but the robbers stole cargo from three containers and escaped.

* Armed pirates chased and fired on a tanker 115 nautical miles off Salalah on 6 May but abandoned their attack after the vessel took evasive manoeuvres and navies in the area responded to the distress call.

* Four armed pirates approached and fired on a cargo ship 190 nautical miles off Salalah on 6 May but abandoned their attack after the vessel took evasive manoeuvres and the onboard armed security team returned fire with warning shots.

* Seven robbers armed with knives approached a vessel anchored at Takoradi, Ghana on 6 May. Two robbers boarded and stole ship’s property.

References

1. International Maritime Board

2. IISS

3. Lloyds Bank

4. World Bank

5. Wikipedia

6. Save our Seaferers

The Curious Case of Syria

2011-05-15T22:26:00.001+03:00

Syria is clearly in a state of internal crisis. Protests organized on Facebook were quickly stamped out in early February, but by mid-March, a faceless opposition had emerged from the flashpoint city of Daraa in Syria’s largely conservative Sunni southwest. From Daraa, demonstrations spread to the Kurdish northeast, the coastal Latakia area, urban Sunni strongholds in Hama and Homs, and to Aleppo and the suburbs of Damascus.

Feeling overwhelmed, the regime experimented with rhetoric on reforms while relying on much more familiar iron-fist methods in cracking down, arresting hundreds of men, cutting off water and electricity to the most rebellious areas, and making clear to the population that, with or without emergency rule in place, the price for dissent does not exclude death. (Activists claim more than 500 civilians have been killed in Syria since the demonstrations began, but that figure has not been independently verified.)

A survey of the headlines would lead many to believe that Syrian President Bashar al Assad will soon be joining Tunisia’s Zine El Abidine Ben Ali and Egypt’s Hosni Mubarak in a line of deposed Arab despots. The situation in Syria is serious, but in my view, the crisis has not yet risen to a level that would warrant a forecast that the al Assad regime will fall.

Four key pillars sustain Syria’s minority Alawite-Baathist regime:

• Power in the hands of the al Assad clan

• Alawite unity

• Alawite control over the military-intelligence apparatus

• The Baath party’s monopoly on the political system

Though the regime is coming under significant stress, all four of these pillars are still standing. If any one falls, the al Assad regime will have a real existential crisis on its hands. To understand why this is the case, we need to begin with the story of how the Alawites came to dominate modern Syria.

The Rise of the Alawites

Syria’s complex demographics make it a difficult country to rule. It is believed that three-fourths of the country’s roughly 22 million people are Sunnis, including most of the Kurdish minority in the northeast. Given the volatility that generally accompanies sectarianism, Syria deliberately avoids conducting censuses on religious demographics, making it difficult to determine, for example, exactly how big the country’s Alawite minority has grown. Most estimates put the number of Alawites in Syria at around 1.5 million, or close to 7 percent of the population. When combined with Shia and Ismailis, non-Sunni Muslims average around 13 percent. Christians of several variations, including Orthodox and Maronite, make up around 10 percent of the population. The mostly mountain-dwelling Druze make up around 3 percent. Alawite power in Syria is only about five decades old. The Alawites are frequently (and erroneously) categorized as Shia, have many things in common with Christians and are often shunned by Sunnis and Shia alike. Consequently, Alawites attract a great deal of controversy in the Islamic world. The Alawites diverged from the mainstream Twelver of the Imami branch of Shiite Islam in the ninth century under the leadership of Ibn Nusayr (this is why, prior to 1920, Alawites were known more commonly as Nusayris). Their main link to Shiite Islam and the origin of the Alawite name stems from their reverence for the Prophet Muhammad’s cousin and son-in-law, Ali. The sect is often described as highly secretive and heretical for its rejection of Shariah and of common Islamic practices, including call to prayer, going to mosque for worship, making pilgrimages to Mecca and intolerance for alcohol. At the same time, Alawites celebrate many Christian holidays and revere Christian saints.

Alawites are a fractious bunch, historically divided among rival tribes and clans and split geographically between mountain refuges and plains in rural Syria. The province of Latakia, which provides critical access to the Mediterranean coast, is also the Alawite homeland, ensuring that any Alawite bid for autonomy would be met with stiff Sunni resistance. Historically, for much of the territory that is modern-day Syria, the Alawites represented the impoverished lot in the countryside while the urban-dwelling Sunnis dominated the country’s businesses and political posts. Unable to claim a firm standing among Muslims, Alawites would often embrace the Shiite concept of taqqiya (concealing or assimilating one’s faith to avoid persecution) in dealing with their Sunni counterparts.

Between 1920 and 1946, the French mandate provided the first critical boost to Syria’s Alawite community. In 1920, the French, who had spent years trying to legitimize and support the Alawites against an Ottoman-backed Sunni majority, had the Nusayris change their name to Alawites to emphasize the sect’s connection to the Prophet’s cousin and son-in-law Ali and to Shiite Islam. Along with the Druze and Christians, the Alawites would enable Paris to build a more effective counterweight to the Sunnis in managing the French colonial asset. The lesson here is important. Syria is not simply a mirror reflection of a country like Bahrain, a Shiite majority country run by a minority Sunni government. Rather than exhibiting a clear Sunni-Shiite religious-ideological divide, Syria’s history can be more accurately described as a struggle between the Sunnis on one hand and a group of minorities on the other.

Under the French, the Alawites, along with other minorities, for the first time enjoyed subsidies, legal rights and lower taxes than their Sunni counterparts. Most critically, the French reversed Ottoman designs of the Syrian security apparatus to allow for the influx of Alawites into military, police and intelligence posts to suppress Sunni challenges to French rule. Consequently, the end of the French mandate in 1946 was a defining moment for the Alawites, who by then had gotten their first real taste of the privileged life and were also the prime targets of purges led by the urban Sunni elite presiding over a newly independent Syria.

A Crucial Military Opening

The Sunnis quickly reasserted their political prowess in post-colonial Syria and worked to sideline Alawites from the government, businesses and courts. However, the Sunnis also made a fateful error in overlooking the heavy Alawite presence in the armed forces. While the Sunnis occupied the top posts within the military, the lower ranks were filled by rural Alawites who either could not afford the military exemption fees paid by most of the Sunni elite or simply saw military service as a decent means of employment given limited options. The seed was thus planted for an Alawite-led military coup while the Sunni elite were preoccupied with their own internal struggles.

The second major pillar supporting the Alawite rise came with the birth of the Baath party in Syria in 1947. For economically disadvantaged religious outcasts like Alawites, the Baathist campaign of secularism, socialism and Arab nationalism provided the ideal platform and political vehicle to organize and unify around. At the same time, the Baathist ideology caused huge fissures within the Sunni camp, as many — particularly the Islamists — opposed its secular, social program. In 1963, Baathist power was cemented through a military coup led by President Amin al-Hafiz, a Sunni general, who discharged many ranking Sunni officers, thereby providing openings for hundreds of Alawites to fill top-tier military positions during the 1963-

1965 period on the grounds of being opposed to Arab unity. This measure tipped the balance in favor of Alawite officers who staged a coup in 1966 and for the first time placed Damascus in the hands of the Alawites. The 1960s also saw the beginning of a reversal of Syria’s sectarian rural-urban divide, as the Baath party encouraged Alawite migration into the cities to displace the Sunnis.

The Alawites had made their claim to the Syrian state, but internal differences threatened to stop their rise. It was not until 1970 that Alawite rivalries and Syria’s string of coups and counter-coups were put to rest with a bloodless military coup led by then-air force commander and Defense Minister Gen. Hafez al Assad (now deceased) against his Alawite rival, Salah Jadid. Al Assad was the first Alawite leader capable of dominating the fractious Alawite sect. The al Assads, who hail from the Numailatiyyah faction of the al Matawirah tribe (one of four main Alawite tribes), stacked the security apparatus with loyal clansmen while taking care to build patronage networks with Druze and Christian minorities that facilitated the al Assad rise. Just as important, the al Assad leadership co-opted key Sunni military and business elites, relying on notables like former Syrian Defense Minister Mustafa Tlass to contain dissent within the military and Alawite big-business families like the Makhloufs to buy loyalty, or at least tolerance, among a Sunni merchant class that had seen most of its assets seized and redistributed by the state. Meanwhile, the al Assad regime showed little tolerance for religiously conservative Sunnis who refused to remain quiescent. The state took over the administration of religious funding, cracked down on groups deemed as extremist and empowered itself to dismiss the leaders of Friday prayers at will, fueling resentment among the Sunni Islamist class.

In a remarkably short period, the 40-year reign of the al Assad regime has since seen the complete consolidation of power by Syrian Alawites who, just a few decades earlier, were written off by the Sunni majority as powerless, heretical peasants.

A Resilient Regime

For the past four decades, the al Assad regime has carefully maintained these four pillars. The minority-ruled regime has proved remarkably resilient, despite several obstacles.

The regime witnessed its first meaningful backlash by Syria’s Sunni religious class in 1976, when the Syrian Muslim Brotherhood led an insurgency against the state with the aim of toppling the al Assad government. At that time, the Sunni Islamists had the support of many of the Sunni urban elite, but their turn toward jihadism also facilitated their downfall. The regime’s response was the leveling of the Sunni stronghold city of Hama in 1982. The Hama crackdown, which killed tens of thousands of Sunnis and drove the Syrian Muslim Brotherhood underground, remains fresh in the memories of Syrian Brotherhood members today, who have only recently built up the courage to publicly call on supporters to join in demonstrations against the regime. Still, the Syrian Muslim Brotherhood lacks the organizational capabilities to resist the regime.

The al Assad regime has also experienced serious threats from within the family. After Hafez al Assad suffered from heart problems in 1983, his younger brother Rifaat, who drew a significant amount of support from the military, attempted a coup against the Syrian leader. None other than the al Assad matriarch, Naissa, mediated between her rival sons and reached a solution by which Rifaat was sent abroad to Paris, where he remains in exile, and Hafez was able to re-secure the loyalty of his troops. The 1994 death of Basil al Assad, brother of current president Bashar and then-heir apparent to a dying Hafez, also posed a significant threat to the unity of the al Assad clan. However, the regime was able to rely on key Sunni stalwarts such as Tlass to rally support within the military for Bashar, who was studying to become an ophthalmologist and had little experience with, or desire to enter, politics.

Even when faced with threats from abroad, the regime has endured. The 1973 Yom Kippur War, the 1982 Israeli invasion of Lebanon and the 2005 forced Syrian withdrawal from Lebanon may have knocked the regime off balance, but it never sent it over the edge. Syria’s military intervention in the 1975-1990 Lebanese civil war allowed the regime to emerge stronger and more influential than ever through its management of Lebanon’s fractured political landscape, satisfying to a large extent Syria’s strategic need to dominate its western neighbor. Though the regime underwent serious internal strain when the Syrian military was forced out of Lebanon, it did not take long for Syria’s pervasive security-intelligence apparatus to rebuild its clout in the country.

The Current Crisis

The past eight weeks of protests in nearly all corners of Syria have led many to believe that the Syrian regime is on its last legs. However, such assumptions ignore the critical factors that have sustained this regime for decades, the most critical of which is the fact that the regime is still presiding over a military that remains largely unified and committed to putting down the protests with force. Syria cannot be compared to Tunisia, where the army was able quickly to depose an unpopular leader; Libya, where the military rapidly reverted to the country’s east-west historical divide; or Egypt, where the military used the protests to resolve a succession crisis, all while preserving the regime. The Syrian military, as it stands today, is a direct reflection of hard-fought Alawite hegemony over the state.

Syrian Alawites are stacked in the military from both the top and the bottom, keeping the army’s mostly Sunni 2nd Division commanders in check. Of the 200,000 career soldiers in the Syrian army, roughly 70 percent are Alawites. Some 80 percent of officers in the army are also believed to be Alawites. The military’s most elite division, the Republican Guard, led by the president’s younger brother Maher al Assad, is an all-Alawite force. Syria’s ground forces are organized in three corps (consisting of combined artillery, armor and mechanized infantry units). Two corps are led by Alawites (Damascus headquarters, which commands southeastern Syria, and Zabadani headquarters near the Lebanese border). The third is led by a Circassian Sunni from Aleppo headquarters.

Most of Syria’s 300,000 conscripts are Sunnis who complete their two- to three-year compulsory military service and leave the military, though the decline of Syrian agriculture has been forcing more rural Sunnis to remain beyond the compulsory period (a process the regime is tightly monitoring). Even though most of Syria’s air force pilots are Sunnis, most ground support crews are Alawites who control logistics, telecommunications and maintenance, thereby preventing potential Sunni air force dissenters from acting unilaterally. Syria’s air force intelligence, dominated by Alawites, is one of the strongest intelligence agencies within the security apparatus and has a core function of ensuring that Sunni pilots do not rebel against the regime.

The triumvirate managing the crackdowns on protesters consists of Bashar’s brother Maher; their brother-in-law, Asef Shawkat; and Ali Mamluk, the director of Syria’s Intelligence Directorate. Their strategy has been to use Christian and Druze troops and security personnel against Sunni protesters to create a wedge between the Sunnis and the country’s minority groups (Alawites, Druze, Christians), but this strategy also runs the risk of backfiring if sectarianism escalates to the point that the regime can no longer assimilate the broader Syrian community. President al Assad has also quietly called on retired Alawite generals to return to work with him as advisers to help ensure that they do not link up with the opposition.

Given Syria’s sectarian military dynamics, it is not surprising that significant military defections have not occurred during the current crisis. Smaller-scale defections of lower-ranking soldiers and some officers have been reported by activists in the southwest, where the unrest is most intense. These reports have not been verified, but even Syrian activist sources have admitted to western media that the defectors from the Syrian army’s 5th and 9th divisions are being put down.

A fledgling opposition movement calling itself the “National Initiative for Change” published a statement from Nicosia, Cyprus, appealing to Syrian Minister of Defense Ali Habib (an Alawite) and Army Chief of Staff Daoud Rajha (a Greek Orthodox Christian) to lead the process of political change in Syria, in an apparent attempt to spread the perception that the opposition is making headway in co-opting senior military members of the regime. Rajha replaced Habib as army chief of staff when the latter was relegated to the largely powerless political position of defense minister two years ago. In name, the president’s brother-in-law, Asef Shawkat, is deputy army chief of staff, but in practice, he is the true chief of army staff.

The defections of Rajha and Habib, which remain unlikely at this point, would not necessarily represent a real break within the regime, but if large-scale defections within the military occur, it will be an extremely significant sign that the Alawites are fracturing and thus losing their grip over the armed forces. Without that control, the regime cannot survive. So far, this has not happened. In many ways, the Alawites are the biggest threat to themselves. Remember, it was not until Hafez al Assad’s 1970 coup that the Alawites were able to put aside their differences and consolidate under one regime. The current crisis could provide an opportunity for rivals within the regime to undermine the president and make a bid for power. All eyes would naturally turn to Bashar’s exiled uncle Rifaat, who attempted a coup against his brother nearly three decades ago. But even Rifaat has been calling on Alawite supporters in Tripoli, in northern Lebanon and in Latakia, Syria, to refrain from joining the demonstrations, stressing that the present period is one in which regimes are being overthrown and that if Bashar falls, the entire Alawite sect will suffer as a result.

While the military and the al Assad clan are holding together, the insulation to the regime provided by the Baath party is starting to come into question. The Baath party is the main political vehicle through which the regime manages its patronage networks, though over the years the al Assad clan and the Alawite community have grown far more in stature than the wider concentric circle of the ruling party. In late April, some 230 Baath party members reportedly resigned from the party in protest. However, the development must also be viewed in context: These were a couple of hundred Baath party members out of a total membership of some 2 million in the country. Moreover, the defectors were concentrated in southern Syria around Daraa, the site of the most severe crackdowns. Though the defections within the Baath party have not risen to a significant level, it is easy to understand the pressure the al Assad regime is under to follow through with a promised reform to expand the political system, since political competition would undermine the Baath party monopoly and thus weaken one of the four legs of the regime.

The Foreign Tolerance Factor

Internally, Alawite unity and control over the military and Baath party loyalty are crucial to the al Assad regime’s staying power. Externally, the Syrian regime is greatly aided by the fact that the regional stakeholders — including Turkey, Israel, Saudi Arabia, the United States and Iran — by and large prefer to see the al Assads remain in power than deal with the likely destabilizing consequences of regime change.

It is not a coincidence that Israel, with which Syria shares a strong and mutual antipathy, has been largely silent over the Syrian unrest. Already unnerved by what may be in store for Egypt’s political future, Israel has a deep fear of the unknown regarding the Syrians. How, for example, would a conservative Sunni government in Damascus conduct its foreign policy? The real virtue of the Syrian regime lies in its predictability: The al Assad government, highly conscious of its military inferiority to Israel, is far more interested in maintaining its hegemony in Lebanon than in picking fights with Israel. While the al Assad government is a significant patron to Hezbollah, Hamas and Palestinian Islamic Jihad, among other groups it manages within its Islamist militant supply chain, its support for such groups is also to some extent negotiable, as illustrated most recently by the fruits of Turkey’s negotiations with Damascus in containing Palestinian militant activity and in Syria’s ongoing, albeit strained, negotiations with Saudi Arabia over keeping Hezbollah in check. Israel’s view of Syria is a classic example of the benefits of dealing with the devil you do know rather than the devil you don’t.

The biggest sticking point for each of these regional stakeholders is Syria’s alliance with Iran. The Iranian government has a core interest in maintaining a strong lever in the Levant with which to threaten Israel, and it needs a Syria that stands apart from the Sunni Arab consensus to do so. Though Syria derives a great deal of leverage from its relationship with Iran, Syrian-Iranian interests are not always aligned. In fact, the more confident Syria is at home and in Lebanon, the more likely its interests are to clash with Iran. Shiite politics aside, secular-Baathist Syria and Islamist Iran are not ideological allies nor are they true Shiite brethren — they came together and remain allied for mostly tactical purposes, to counter Sunni forces. In the near term at least, Syria will not be persuaded by Riyadh, Ankara or anyone else to sever ties with Iran in return for a boost in regional support, but it will keep itself open to negotiations. Meanwhile, holding the al Assads in place provides Syria’s neighbors with some assurance that ethno-sectarian tensions already on the rise in the wider region will not lead to the eruption of such fault lines in Turkey (concerned with Kurdish spillover) and Lebanon (a traditional proxy Sunni-Shiite battleground between Iran and Saudi Arabia).

Regional disinterest in pushing for regime change in Syria could be seen even in the April 29 U.N. Human Rights Council meeting to condemn Syria. Bahrain and Jordan did not show up to vote, and Saudi Arabia and Egypt insisted on a watered-down resolution. Saudi Arabia has even quietly instructed the Arab League to avoid discussion of the situation in Syria in the next Arab League meeting, scheduled for next week.

Turkey’s Islamist-rooted Justice and Development Party (AKP) has given indications that it is seeking out Sunni alternatives to the al Assad regime for the longer term and is quietly developing a relationship with the Syrian Muslim Brotherhood. AKP does not have the influence currently to effect meaningful change within Syria, nor does it particularly want to at this time. The Turks remain far more concerned about Kurdish unrest and refugees spilling over into Turkey with just a few weeks remaining before national elections.

Meanwhile, the United States and its NATO allies are struggling to reconcile the humanitarian argument that led to the military intervention with Libya with the situation in Syria. The United States especially does not want to paint itself into a corner with rhetoric that could commit forces to yet another military intervention in the Islamic world — and in a much more complex and volatile part of the region than Libya — and is relying instead on policy actions like sanctions that it hopes exhibit sufficient anger at the crackdowns.

In short, the Syrian regime may be an irritant to many but not a large enough one to compel the regional stakeholders to devote their efforts toward regime change in Damascus.

Hanging on by More Than a Thread

Troubles are no doubt rising in Syria, and the al Assad regime will face unprecedented difficulty in trying to manage affairs at home in the months ahead. That said, it so far has maintained the four pillars supporting its power. The al Assad clan remains unified, the broader Alawite community and its minority allies are largely sticking together, Alawite control over the military is holding and the Baath party’s monopoly remains intact. Alawites appear to be highly conscious of the fact that the first signs of Alawite fracturing in the military and the state overall could lead to the near-identical conditions that led to its own rise — only this time, power would tilt back in favor of the rural Sunni masses and away from the urbanized Alawite elite. So far, this deep-seated fear of a reversal of Alawite power is precisely what is keeping the regime standing. Considering that Alawites were second-class citizens of Syria less than century ago, that memory may be recent enough to remind Syrian Alawites of the consequences of internal dissent. The factors of regime stability outlined here are by no means static, and the stress on the regime is certainly rising. Until those legs show real signs of weakening, however, the al Assad regime has the tools it needs to fight the effects of the Arab Spring.

References

1. Reva Bhalla - IISS

2. StratFor

3. Foreign Policy Magazine

3. CIA Factbook

4. Janes Defence Weekly

5. Wikipedia

Being a man is hard!

2011-05-15T10:33:00.000+03:00

a.. If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from
the rat race, you're a male chauvinist.

b.. If you stay home and do the housework, you're a pansy.

c.. If you work too hard, there is never any time for her.

d.. If you don't work enough, you're a good-for-nothing bum.

e.. If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay,this is
exploitation.

f.. If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should
get off your ass and find something better.

g.. If you get a promotion ahead of her, that is favoritism.

h.. If she gets a job ahead of you, it's equal opportunity.

i.. If you mention how nice she looks, it's sexual harassment.

j.. If you keep quiet, it's male indifference.

k.. If you cry, you're a wimp. If you don't, you're an
insensitive bastard.

l.. If you thump her, it's wife bashing.

m.. If she thumps you, it's self-defense.

n.. If you make a decision without consulting her, you're a
chauvinist.

o.. If she makes a decision without consulting you, she's a
liberated woman.

p.. If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy, that's
domination.

q.. If she asks you, it's a favor.

r.. If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear,
you're a pervert.

s.. If you don't, you're gay.

t.. If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape,
you're sexist.

u.. If you don't, you're unromantic.

v.. If you try to keep yourself in shape, you're vain.

w.. If you don't, you're a slob.

x.. If you buy her flowers, you're after something.

y.. If you don't, you're not thoughtful.

z.. If you're proud of your achievements, you're full of
yourself.