Sex and the DNA

Prostitution Ban Called Unconstitutional

2015-03-08T22:20:00.003-07:00

from courthousenews.com

SAN FRANCISCO (CN) - A prostitute and a man who would like to enjoy her services sued California on Wednesday, challenging the constitutionality of state laws against "private, consensual sexual activity ... as part of a voluntary commercial exchange between adults."

     Plaintiff K.L.E.S. says she "has been licensed to provide sexual activity for hire to consenting adults in Nevada," and would like to work in Northern California, where she lives.

     Plaintiffs C.V. and J.B. both worked as prostitutes in California, and would like to again, but fear criminal prosecution.

     Plaintiff John Doe, who has a disability, wants to hire a prostitute to "engage in this sexual activity consensually, respectfully, and in the privacy of his own residence."

     The lead plaintiff is San Francisco-based Erotic Service Provider Legal, Education & Research Project (ESPLERP), an advocacy group.

     They sued four counties' district attorneys and California Attorney General Kamala Harris on March 3, claiming that prosecuting sex that is "part of a voluntary commercial exchange between adults" violates the state and federal constitutions.
     ESLERP describes itself as a nonprofit serving "erotic service providers, escorts or other types of workers in the human sexuality field."
     The individual plaintiffs say they fear prosecution under California's prostitution and solicitation laws. Soliciting, agreeing to engage in, or engaging in prostitution is a misdemeanor in the state.
     Though women plaintiffs say they have abandoned their profession, in California, for fear of prosecution. K.L.E.S. says that this is a "particularly difficult concession" for her, as she was "licensed to perform identical activities in Nevada."
     They claim, inter alia, that criminalizing prostitution discourages safe sex and condom use, because prosecutors use condom possession as evidence of prostitution-related offenses.
     The law "unconstitutionally limits" a person's right to earn a living in her chosen profession and to "maintain certain intimate or private relationships," the plaintiffs say.
     They claim that prosecution of prostitution violates the First Amendment's protection of freedom of association.
     They seek declaratory judgment that California's prostitution statute is unconstitutional, and an injunction against its enforcement.
     They are represented by H. Louis Sirkin, with Santen & Hughes, in Cincinnati.
     The defendant district attorneys are from San Francisco, Marin, Alameda and Sonoma counties.
     Contact Arvin Temkar at sanfran@courthousenews.com

Porn Lovers Win: Blogger Ban on Adult Content Reversed

2015-02-27T08:36:00.002-08:00

from pcmag

Google has given in to porn enthusiasts who were less than thrilled about a recent ban on adult content within Blogger

BY ANGELA MOSCARITOLO
FEBRUARY 27, 2015 09:45AM EST

Not even Google can erase porn from the Internet.

Just three days after banning explicit sexual content on Blogger, Google has given in to pressure from porn fans who were less than thrilled about the new policy. The Web giant on Friday announced that it has changed its mind and will not crack down on adult content on its blogging platform, after all.

The turnaround comes after Google on Tuesday said it would no longer allow "images and video that are sexually explicit or show graphic nudity" on Blogger, as of March 23. Any existing blogs containing porn would be made private, unless the admin deleted the offending content.

Now, Google says that porn will be allowed on Blogger, but asked people to tag pages with nudity, so that Blogger can display an "adult content" warning page before that content is served up.

"This week, we announced a change to Blogger's porn policy," Google's Social Product Support Manager, Jessica Pelegio, wrote in a post on the Blogger Help Forum. "We've had a ton of feedback, in particular about the introduction of a retroactive change (some people have had accounts for 10+ years), but also about the negative impact on individuals who post sexually explicit content to express their identities. So rather than implement this change, we've decided to step up enforcement around our existing policy prohibiting commercial porn."

That commercial porn ban, instated in 2013, strictly prohibits adult ads on Blogger and the monetization of adult content, meaning you can't start a blog on the site to make money off porn.

So, in other words, long live porn on the Internet.

Warren Sapp arrested on suspicion of soliciting prostitute, assault Staff report, USA TODAY Sports

2015-02-02T14:11:00.003-08:00

from usatoday

Staff report, USA TODAY Sports4:48 p.m. EST February 2, 2015

Phoenix police arrested Sapp, 42, at 7 a.m. MT Monday at a downtown Phoenix hotel on suspicion of soliciting a prostitute and assault allegations, said Lt. Brandon Jones, a sheriff's spokesman.

Police were originally called to the hotel on a noise disturbance and when officers arrived a woman said she had been assaulted, said Sgt. Trent Crump, a Phoenix police spokesman.

The woman told police that she and another woman were working as escorts and that an argument about money in a guest's room turned physical and spilled out into the hallway, Crump said.

Investigators said they determined that an act of prostitution had occurred in the guest's room, and Sapp was arrested, Crump said.

Sapp told investigators that he had paid one of the women for sex but he denied any assault, according to police.

Investigators said they observed minor injuries on both of the women involved which were consistent with assault, Crump said.

One of the women was later cited for engaging in prostitution and released, Crump said.

The second woman left the scene before officers arrived and was later located at a Peoria hotel where she was cited for violating escort-related ordinances, Crump said.

Sapp is an NFL Network analyst and played professionally with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and Oakland Raiders after a collegiate career at the University of Miami (Fla.)

Sapp was inducted into the NFL Hall of Fame in 2013.

Lured Off the Streets, a Look at How Young Women Become Sex Trafficking Victims

2015-01-24T12:03:00.001-08:00

from abc

Jan 23, 2015, 12:55 PM ET

By ABC NEWS via NIGHTLINE

Hidden America: Chilling New Look at Sex Trafficking in the US

NEXT VIDEOHidden America: Prostitution And The Girl Next Door

AUTO START: ON |OFF

Thousands of young American women who slip into the seedy world of prostitution, advocates say, do so through no choice of their own. It begins with a pimp befriending them, giving them a place to stay, and then turning them out on the streets or in online ads to sell their bodies.

Childhoods marred by broken homes, abuse, drug use and a desperate need for love link their stories, and often their pasts deeply warp their sense of right and wrong.

“I was molested ... and one thing, I didn’t know that it was wrong,” said one woman at Magdalene House, a women's shelter in Nashville.

Another woman named Shelia said she was taught how to perform oral sex at age 6 by her own mother. “It happened so much that it seemed natural, like it was supposed to happen,” she said.

Sex Trafficking: Resources to Help Victims

In his upcoming PBS documentary, “A Path Appears,” New York Times journalist Nicholas Kristof says it’s time we acknowledge sex trafficking as an American problem, and that we take a hard look at prostitution and the notion of choice, especially by women.

“It's basically seen as a public nuisance issue, rather than as a human rights problem,” Kristof said. “And the person the police and prosecutors go after is the victim, is the 16-year-old girl, rather than the perpetrator, the pimp, or the customer.”

The average age for young girls to enter into prostitution is 12 to 14 years old, according to a University of Pennsylvania study. So many of these women, Kristof said, start off as young runaways. The National Center for Missing & Exploited Children estimates that in 2013, one in seven endangered runaways reported to them were likely sex trafficking victims, and a huge number of them are foster care kids.

“These are homegrown American girls,” Kristof said, adding that it’s common for the girls who are most at-risk to have “self-esteem problems, sometimes self-medication with drugs.”

“And they get in a fight with the mom and go away to the bus station and the only person looking for them there is the pimp, and that's trafficking in America,” he said.

The absence of a caring adult in their lives, advocates say, paves the way for predators to sneak in and deploy a type of charm offensive designed to tap into a young person's vulnerability, be it affection, attention or simply a place to sleep. One classic approach, law enforcement says, is for a recruiter to appear gentle and tell the girl she has beautiful eyes or say she should call him “Daddy,” knowing they crave family. These recruiters lurk in bus depots, homeless shelters and foster care facilities, authorities say, knowing vulnerable young people gravitate to these places.

Sergeant Hector Martinez and Officer Jack Collins with the Port Authority Police Department, shared by New York and New Jersey, walk New York City's cavernous bus depot, where an estimated 225,000 people pass through each day. In the past year, Martinez and Collins said their unit, the Port Authority Youth Division, recovered 69 runaways, about one to three per week.

“Pimps, recruiters, they sit here, they watch,” Martinez said, referring to the Greyhound ticket counter. “They watch as they go in and they purchase the tickets there."

“They sell [youth] the idea of a warm place to stay for the night, the possibility, potential for romance, maybe earning some money,” Collins added.

Just two blocks from Port Authority sits Covenant House, one of the largest shelters for at-risk youth in the country. But in the two avenue blocks between a journey's beginning or end and this safe haven lurk masters of manipulation, hoping to permanently intercept a young person's life.

Jayne Bigelsen, the director of anti-human trafficking initiatives at Covenant House International, said it drives her crazy that more hasn’t been done to prevent sex trafficking.

“Everyone says they’re anti-trafficking but when I go to talk to legislators ... on the trafficking day, they want to talk to me,” Bigelsen said. “On the runaway homeless youth day, they don’t want to talk to us. Same kids! Same kids! But they don’t want to talk to us."

Funding foster care and mentoring programs are crucial, Bigelsen says, and have the greatest potential to alter a young person's life. A caring foster parent or mentor has the power to divert the path of the very same young people who could fall into the hands of a pimp.

“There's this huge connection-- being alone for the first time in your life and being homeless, and the pimps coming in and preying on you,” she continued. “We found that age 18 to 19 to be pretty vulnerable.”

When young women come in, Bigelsen said Covenant House works with them to help figure out what happened, and works closely with Port Authority Police, the Manhattan District Attorney’s Office and Human Trafficking Courts authorities to find their recruiters.

“Young people show up at our doorstep saying, 'I'm hungry, I'm tired, I want a bed,’ they don't come and say, ‘I've been trafficked,’ So that requires further investigation and further digging,” Bigelsen said. “They're not always ready to open up. Trafficking is a really sensitive topic. So sometimes, it takes time to build a relationship to get them to open up.”

Whether online or on the street, prostitution is big business. One woman told Kristof of how an RV with seven girls can pull into a truck stop and earn the pimp $1,400 an hour.

“This is not something that people are choosing of their own free will, and it's not a business relationship,” Kristof said. “That is this fundamental misperception, is somehow a pimp and this girl are dividing up money or something. Every penny she earns goes to the pimp, every penny, and if she holds him back or she doesn't meet her quota that she is given of, whatever, $700, $800 that day, then she is going to be beaten up.”

Nineteen states have been experimenting with targeting the pimps in sting operations, instead of just rescuing the girls. The Cooks County Sheriff's Office in Chicago changed the way they handled prostitution arrests, launching a national campaign to target "johns." Their “National Day of Johns Arrests” program now includes "51 law enforcement nationwide partners" who have made a combined 1,832 "johns" arrests, according to the sheriff's office.

"It strikes me that if there were gun traffickers out there, that we would find ways to get them out of the picture,” Kristof said. “But that somehow, if it's people who are trafficking 15-year-old girls, that somehow, that's not enough of a priority.”

Ex-Ravens cheerleader charged with rape makes no plea deal

2015-01-07T20:47:00.000-08:00

from usatoday

James Fisher, USA TODAY Sports12:49 p.m. EST January 7, 2015

A lawyer for Molly Shattuck, the former Baltimore Ravens cheerleader charged with the rape of a teenage boy in Bethany Beach, discussed her case with prosecutors in a Sussex courtroom Wednesday but said she has not altered her not-guilty plea.

Eugene Maurer, Shattuck's attorney, said her life is "stressful" while she is free on $84,000 bond in the case. He declined to discuss whether prosecutors have offered a plea deal to Shattuck.

Shattuck, 47, was indicted Nov. 5 in Sussex County on charges of third-degree rape, second-degree unlawful sexual contact and obtaining alcohol for a minor. Police, in court documents, said she initiated a relationship with a 15-year-old boy last summer, first contacting him on Instagram.

Over Labor Day weekend, police allege, Shattuck rented a Bethany Beach summer house for her own teenage son and his friends, one of whom was the boy she had already met for romantic encounters in the back seat of her SUV. Late at night, in a bedroom of the house, Shattuck performed oral sex on the boy, charging documents state. She offered to have sex with him, police said, but the boy declined.

USA TODAY

Ex-Ravens cheerleader charged with raping teen boy

Police who interviewed the boy later in September said he told them he had not seen Shattuck after that night.

Shattuck is a prominent person in Baltimore's upper crust. She is divorced from Mayo Shattuck III, a former Constellation Energy CEO, and she was made a member of the Ravens cheerleading squad in 2005.

The scheduled case review Wednesday was an opportunity for Shattuck's lawyers and prosecutor John Donahue to reach a plea deal, but Maurer said that didn't happen. Another case review is set for March 18.

After the case review, courthouse staff afforded Shattuck a courtesy they only rarely extend to victims and witnesses during trials, much less defendants. Two police officers unlocked a rear door, marked as a juror's entrance only, and let her leave, avoiding a dozen reporters and photographers from Delaware, Baltimore and Washington, D.C. who were waiting for her to leave by the front door, the only one available to the public.

Maurer had spent several minutes talking to officers stationed at the rear door before Shattuck used that exit.

"That would be me, and there's no comment," said a Delaware Capitol Police officer who identified himself as Lieut. Helsel when asked which courthouse employee gave Shattuck permission to use the rear door.

Former Ravens cheerleader, Molly Shattuck, returned to court Wednesday for a hearing. She was indicted in November with having sex with a teenage boy and providing alcohol to minors. 1/7/15 JAMES FISHER/The News Journal

James Fisher writes for The News Journal of Wilmington, Del.

Florida Student Arrested For Running High School Prostitution Ring: Cops

2014-12-29T17:09:00.001-08:00

from wikipedia

A Florida high school student is accused of running a prostitution ring that involved selling underage girls for money and alcohol, authorities said. Alexa Nicole De Armas, a 17-year-old at Sarasota High School, was arrested Friday and faces a felony charge of human trafficking of a person younger than 18, the Sarasota Herald-Tribune first reported. A 21-year-old man — identified as John Michael Mosher — was also arrested Friday for allegedly paying $40 and a bottle of liquor in exchange for sex with a 15-year-old, according to the Sarasota County Sheriff’s Office. A third person is expected to be charged Tuesday.

Investigators learned about the ring when four students at nearby Venice High School told administrators in October about it, according to the Herald-Tribune. De Armas allegedly set up Mosher to have sex with the juvenile at a community pool, police said in a report. "[The underage girl] stated she told Mosher she did not want to have sexual intercourse with him to which he disregarded and forcefully held her against the wall of the pool shed building, restricting her movement and ability to flee," the report said. Authorities say De Armas and an accomplice had set up at least two other prostitution encounters using Facebook. The ring included other Sarasota County schools as well, police said.

SARASOTA POLICE DEPARTMENT

John Mosher, 21, was arrested in Florida in connection with a high school prostitution ring.

SOCIAL

— Erik Ortiz

First published November 25th 2014, 8:36 am

“A billion husbands are about to be replaced”: Imagining the wildly effective vibrators of the future

2014-10-28T23:16:00.002-07:00

from salon.com

MONDAY, OCT 27, 2014 04:00 PM PDT

In dude-king Chuck Palahniuk's latest, men are made obsolete by sex toys -- but ultimately, the women get punished

TRACY CLARK-FLORY Follow

(Credit: Zhenikeyev via iStock)

“A billion husbands are about to be replaced.” That is the tag line of a brand of wildly effective vibrators in Chuck Palahniuk’s latest novel, “Beautiful You.” After the release of these innovative pleasure products, female characters start to make stereotypical battle-of-the-sexes proclamations like, “Men are obsolete!” and “Anything a man can do to me, I can do better!” and “This hunk of plastic is more of a man than you’ll ever be!” Women line up for miles and camp out overnight outside “Beautiful You” stores, hoping to get the latest toe-curling product before it sells out. Everywhere, fashionable, metropolitan “Sex and the City” types stomp around town in their stilettos, boldly carrying a bag bearing the brand’s logo, white curlicue lettering on a pink background, the new symbol of female empowerment. It’s the ultimate horror story for wounded little man-boys everywhere.

But then things take a darker turn: Women begin to drop out of public life entirely, locking themselves in their rooms, diddling away the hours. Their voices become sore from endless yelps of pleasure, their eyes sunken from lost sleep and their bodies weak and emaciated from skipped meals. “Missing” posters are pasted around town, as scores of women — mothers, sisters, daughters — disappear from their homes, driven mad by previously unknown pleasure. In a characteristically Palahniuk gotcha, it turns out that Beautiful You products are actually designed to control women’s consumer decisions.

This is what all of Palahniuk’s novels have been building up to, haven’t they? After all of the tales of disaffected men with mommy issues, here we have arrived at the ultimate expression of male disenfranchisement in our supposedly post-feminist age: men being replaced by vibrators.

Palahniuk takes great joy in writing about this fantastical post-apocalyptic world in which women’s sexual liberation is ultimately disempowering. Witness, for example, that the world’s foremost feminist organization is “on the brink of nonexistence.” He writes: “For the first time in its history the National Organization of Women was canceling its annual conference due to lack of participants. Six weeks ago the roster had been almost filled, but in the days since Beautiful You had launched, all of the delegates had canceled their plans to attend. Some cited more personal interests they wanted to pursue. The rest claimed to be exploring alternative avenues to self-fulfillment.” This fantastical allegory is awfully reminiscent of a favorite insult of male, anti-feminist trolls: You just haven’t been fucked right! If you just got a good lay, all that angry activism would disappear!

Tracy Clark-Flory is a staff writer at Salon. Follow @tracyclarkflory on Twitter and Facebook.

MORE TRACY CLARK-FLORY.

Gene Simmons offers advice to young single women

2014-10-24T12:47:00.003-07:00

from fox

Oct. 24, 2014 - 10:27 - KISS rocker Gene Simmons says women should assume the worst and prepare themselves accordingly

Direct link

The Adultery Arms Race

2014-10-15T05:38:00.002-07:00

from theatlantic

Technology has made cheating on your spouse, or catching a cheater, easier than ever. How digital tools are aiding the unfaithful and the untrusting—and may be mending some broken marriages.

MICHELLE COTTLEOCT 14 2014, 8:05 PM ET

All illustrations by Kristian Hammerstad

Jay’s wife, Ann, was supposed to be out of town on business. It was a Tuesday evening in August 2013, and Jay, a 36-year-old IT manager, was at home in Indiana with their 5-year-old daughter and 9-year-old son when he made a jarring discovery. Their daughter had misplaced her iPad, so Jay used the app Find My iPhone to search for it. The app found the missing tablet right away, but it also located all the other devices on the family’s plan. What was Ann’s phone doing at a hotel five miles from their home?

His suspicions raised, Jay, who knew Ann’s passwords, read through her e-mails and Facebook messages. (Like others in this story, Jay asked that his and Ann’s names be changed.) He didn’t find anything incriminating, but neither could he imagine a good reason for Ann to be at that hotel. So Jay started using Find My iPhone for an altogether different purpose: to monitor his wife’s whereabouts.

Two nights later, when Ann said she was working late, Jay tracked her phone to the same spot. This time, he drove to the hotel, called her down to the parking lot, and demanded to know what was going on. Ann told him she was there posing for boudoir photos, with which she planned to surprise him for his upcoming birthday. She said the photographer was up in the room waiting for her.

Jay wanted to believe Ann. They’d been married for 12 years, and she had never given him cause to distrust her. So instead of demanding to meet the photographer or storming up to the room, Jay got in his car and drove home.

Still, something gnawed at him. According to Ann’s e-mails, the boudoir photo shoot had indeed taken place—but on the previous day, Wednesday. So her being at the hotel on Tuesday and again on Thursday didn’t make sense. Unless …

In an earlier era, a suspicious husband like Jay might have rifled through Ann’s pockets or hired a private investigator. But having stumbled upon Find My iPhone’s utility as a surveillance tool, Jay wondered what other apps might help him keep tabs on his wife. He didn’t have to look far. Spouses now have easy access to an array of sophisticated spy software that would give Edward Snowden night sweats: programs that record every keystroke; that compile detailed logs of our calls, texts, and video chats; that track a phone’s location in real time; that recover deleted messages from all manner of devices (without having to touch said devices); that turn phones into wiretapping equipment; and on and on.

Jay spent a few days researching surveillance tools before buying a program called Dr. Fone, which enabled him to remotely recover text messages from Ann’s phone. Late one night, he downloaded her texts onto his work laptop. He spent the next day reading through them at the office. Turns out, his wife had become involved with a co-worker. There were thousands of text messages between them, many X‑rated—an excruciatingly detailed record of Ann’s betrayal laid out on Jay’s computer screen. “I could literally watch her affair progress,” Jay told me, “and that in itself was painful.”

One might assume that the proliferation of such spyware would have a chilling effect on extramarital activities. Aspiring cheaters, however, need not despair: software developers are also rolling out ever stealthier technology to help people conceal their affairs. Married folk who enjoy a little side action can choose from such specialized tools as Vaulty Stocks, which hides photos and videos inside a virtual vault within one’s phone that’s disguised to look like a stock-market app, and Nosy Trap, which displays a fake iPhone home screen and takes a picture of anyone who tries to snoop on the phone. CATE (the Call and Text Eraser) hides texts and calls from certain contacts and boasts tricky features such as the ability to “quick clean” incriminating evidence by shaking your smartphone. CoverMe does much of the above, plus offers “military-grade encrypted phone calls.” And in the event of an emergency, there’s the nuclear option: apps that let users remotely wipe a phone completely clean, removing all traces of infidelity.

But every new app that promises to make playing around safer and easier just increases the appetite for a cleverer way to expose such deception. Some products even court both sides: a partner at CATE walked me through how a wife could install the app on her husband’s phone to create a secret record of calls and texts to be perused at her leisure. Which may be great from a market-demand standpoint, but is probably not so healthy for the broader culture, as an accelerating spiral of paranoia drives an arms race of infidelity-themed weapons aimed straight at the consumer’s heart.

Every tech trend has its early adopters. Justin, a 30-year-old computer programmer from Ohio, is at the vanguard of this one.

Justin first discovered CATE on the September 21, 2012, episode of Shark Tank, ABC’s venture-capital reality show. The Call and Text Eraser, pitched specifically as a “cheating app,” won $70,000 in seed money on the program. Justin knew he had to have it.

His girlfriend at the time—we’ll call her Scarlett—was “the jealous type,” forever poking through his smartphone and computer. Not that he could blame her, given that she’d already busted him once for having sex with another woman. “It took a lot of talking and a lot of promising that it wouldn’t happen again,” he told me over e-mail. (I found Justin through a user review of CATE.) “So her wanting to check up on me was understandable,” he allowed. “But at the same time, it was my business and if I wanted to share I would have.”

Even a not-so-jealous girlfriend might have taken exception to many of the messages on Justin’s phone: “casual texting” (that is, flirting) with other women, “hard core” (explicitly sexual) texting, texts arranging “hookups.” In the past, he’d been busted repeatedly for such communiqués. (Scarlett is not the only girlfriend with whom Justin has found monogamy to be a challenge.) WithCATE, all Justin had to do was create a list of contacts he didn’t want Scarlett to know about, and any incriminating texts and phone calls with those contacts got channeled directly into a pass-code-protected vault.

CATE is just one of many tools Justin uses to, as he puts it, “stay one step ahead.” His go-to method for exchanging explicit photos is Snapchat, the popular app that causes pics and videos to self-destruct seconds after they are received. (Of course, as savvy users know, expired “snaps” aren’t really deleted, but merely hidden in the bowels of the recipient’s phone, so Justin periodically goes in and permanently scrubs them.) And for visuals so appealing that he cannot bear to see them vanish into the ether, he has Gallery Lock, which secretes pics and videos inside a private “gallery” within his phone.

Justin wound up cheating on Scarlett “several more times” before they finally broke up—a pattern he’s repeated with other girlfriends. Oh, sure, he enjoys the social and domestic comforts of a relationship (“It’s always nice to have someone to call your girl”). He understands the suffering that infidelity can cause (“I have been cheated on so I know how much it hurts”). He even feels guilty about playing around. But for him, the adrenaline kick is irresistible. “Not to mention,” he adds, “no woman is the same [and] there is always going to be someone out there who can do something sexually that you have never tried.” Then, of course, there’s “the thrill of never knowing if you are going to get caught.”

All of which makes it more than a little troubling that, while laboring to keep one semiserious girlfriend after another in the dark with privacy-enhancing apps, Justin has been equally aggressive about using spy apps to keep a virtual eye on said girlfriends.

Therapists say they’re seeing more spouses casually tracking each other, and lawyers are starting to recommend digital-privacy clauses for prenup and postnup agreements.

Justin has tried it all: keystroke loggers, phone trackers, software enabling him to “see text messages, pictures, and all the juicy stuff … even the folder to where your deleted stuff would go.” He figures he’s tried nearly every spy and cheater app on the market, and estimates that since 2007, he has “kept tabs,” serially, on at least half a dozen girlfriends. “The monitoring is really just for my peace of mind,” he says. Plus, if he catches a girlfriend straying, “it kind of balances it out and makes it fair.” That way, he explains, if she ever busts him, “I have proof she was cheating so therefore she would have no reason to be mad.”

Not that Justin is immune to the occasional flash of jealousy. More than once, he has gone out to confront a girlfriend whose phone revealed her to be somewhere other than where she’d claimed to be. One relationship ended with particularly dramatic flair: “The phone went to the location off of a country road in the middle of nowhere and there she was having sex in the backseat of the car with another man.” A fistfight ensued (with the guy, not the girlfriend), followed later by “breakup sex” (vice versa). One year on, Justin says, “I still don’t believe that she has figured out how I found out.”

Justin knows that many folks may find his playing both sides of the cheating-apps divide “twisted.” But, he reasons, “I am doing it for my safety to make sure I don’t get hurt. So doesn’t that make it right??”

Right or wrong, cheating apps tap into a potentially lucrative market: While the national infidelity rate is hard to pin down (because, well, people lie), reputable research puts the proportion of unfaithful spouses at about 15 percent of women and 20 percent of men—with the gender gap closing fast. And while the roots of infidelity remain more or less constant (the desire for novelty, attention, affirmation, a lover with tighter glutes … ), technology is radically altering how we enter into, conduct, and even define it. (The affairs in this piece all involved old-school, off-line sex, but there is a growing body of research on the devastation wrought by the proliferation of online-only betrayal.) Researchers regard the Internet as fertile ground for female infidelity in particular. “Men tend to cheat for physical reasons and women for emotional reasons,” says Katherine Hertlein, who studies the impact of technology on relationships as the director of the Marriage and Therapy Program at the University of Nevada at Las Vegas. “The Internet facilitates a lot of emotional disclosure and connections with someone else.”

At the same time, privacy has become a rare commodity. Forget the National Security Agency and Russian mobsters: in a recent survey conducted in the United Kingdom, 62 percent of men in relationships admitted to poking around in a current or ex-partner’s mobile phone. (Interestingly, among women, the proportion was only 34 percent. So much for the stereotype of straying guys versus prying gals.) On the flip side, according to the Pew Research Center’s Internet and American Life Project, 14 percent of adults have taken steps to hide their online activity from a family member or romantic partner. Therapists say they’re seeing more spouses casually tracking each other as well as more clashes over online spying, and lawyers are starting to recommend digital-privacy clauses for prenup and postnup agreements. Such clauses aim to prevent spouses from using personal texts, e‑mails, or photos against each other should they wind up in divorce court.

Tech developers by and large didn’t set out looking to get involved. As is so often the case with infidelity, it just sort of happened. Take Find My iPhone. Apple did not create the app with suspicious lovers in mind, but users pretty quickly realized its potential. Dr. Fone is marketed primarily as a way to recover lost data. Likewise, messaging apps such as Snapchat have many more uses than concealing naughty talk or naked photos, but the apps are a hit with cheaters.

The multipurpose nature and off-label use of many tools make it difficult to gauge the size of this vast and varied market. The company mSpy offers one of the top-rated programs for monitoring smartphones and computers; 2 million subscribers pay between $20 and $70 a month for the ability to do everything from review browsing history to listen in on phone calls to track a device’s whereabouts. Some 40 percent of customers are parents looking to monitor their kids, according to Andrew Lobanoff, the head of sales at mSpy, who says the company does basic consumer research to see who its customers are and what features they want added. Another 10 to 15 percent are small businesses monitoring employees’ use of company devices (another growing trend). The remaining 45 to 50 percent? They could be up to anything.

Apps marketed specifically as tools for cheaters and jealous spouses for the most part aren’t seeing the download numbers of a heavy hitter like, say, Grindr, the hookup app for gay men (10 million downloads and more than 5 million monthly users). But plenty have piqued consumer interest: The private-texting-and-calling app CoverMe has more than 2 million users. TigerText, which (among other features) causes messages to self-destruct after a set amount of time, has been downloaded 3.5 million times since its introduction in February 2010. (It hit the market a couple of months after the Tiger Woods sexting scandal, though the company maintains that the app is not named for Woods.)

Once the marketplace identifies a revenue stream, of course, the water has been chummed and everyone rushes in for a taste. By now, new offerings are constantly popping up from purveyors large and small. Ashley Madison, the online-dating giant for married people (company slogan: “Life is short. Have an affair.”), has a mobile app that provides some 30 million members “on the go” access to its services. Last year, the company introduced an add-on app called BlackBook, which allows users to purchase disposable phone numbers with which to conduct their illicit business. Calls and texts are placed through the app much as they are through Skype, explains the company’s chief operating officer, Rizwan Jiwan. “One of the leading ways people get caught in affairs is by their cellphone bill,” he observes. But with the disposable numbers, all calls are routed through a user’s Ashley Madison account, which appears on his or her credit-card statements under a series of business aliases. “The phone number isn’t tied to you in any way.”

Both sides of the arms race have ego invested in not getting outgunned. Stressing Ashley Madison’s obsession with customer privacy, Jiwan boasts that the shift from computers to mobile devices makes it harder for members to get busted. “It’s much more difficult to get spyware on phones,” he told me. But mSpy’s Lobanoff pushed back: “All applications can be monitored. Let me make it clear for you. If you provide us what application you would like to track, within two weeks we can develop a feature to do that.” It all boils down to demand. For instance, he notes, after receiving some 300 calls from customers looking to monitor Snapchat, the company rolled out just such a feature.

Lobanoff admits that iPhones are tougher to monitor than phones from other brands, because Apple is strict about what runs on its operating system (although many Apple users “jailbreak” their devices, removing such limits). Which raises the question: Is an iPhone a good investment for cheaters worried about being monitored—or would it too tightly restrict their access to cheating apps? Such are the complexities of modern infidelity.

Of course, no app can remove all risk of getting caught. Technology can, in fact, generate a false sense of security that leads people to push limits or get sloppy. Justin has had several close calls, using CATE to conceal indiscreet texts and voicemails but forgetting to hide explicit photos. When a girlfriend found a naked picture of him that he’d failed to delete after sexting another woman, Justin had to think fast. “The way I talk my way out of it is that I say I was going to send it to her.” Then, of course, there is the peril of creeping obsolescence: after several months, regular upgrades to the operating system on Justin’s phone outpaced CATE’s, and more and more private messages began to slip through the cracks. (A scan of user reviews suggests this is a common problem.)

Virtual surveillance has its risks as well. Stumbling across an incriminating e‑mail your partner left open is one thing; premeditated spying can land you in court—or worse. Sometime in 2008 or 2009, a Minnesota man named Danny Lee Hormann, suspecting his wife of infidelity, installed a GPS tracker on her car and allegedly downloaded spyware onto her phone and the family computer. His now-ex-wife, Michele Mathias (who denied having an affair), began wondering how her husband always knew what she was up to. In March 2010, Mathias had a mechanic search her car. The tracker was found. Mathias called the police, and Hormann spent a month in jail on stalking charges. (It’s worth noting that a second conviction, specifically for illegally tracking her car, was overturned on appeal when the judge ruled that joint ownership gave Hormann the right to install the GPS tracker.)

Staying on the right side of the law is trickier than one might imagine. There are a few absolute no-nos. At the top of the list: never install software on a device that you do not own without first obtaining the user’s consent. Software sellers are careful to shift the legal burden onto consumers. On its site, mSpy warns that misuse of the software “may result in severe monetary and criminal penalties.” Similarly, SpyBubble, which offers cellphone-tracking software, reminds its customers of their duty to “notify users of the device that they are being monitored.” Even so, questions of ownership and privacy get messy between married partners, and the landscape remains in flux as courts struggle to apply old laws to new technology.

In 2010, a Texas man named Larry Bagley was acquitted of charges that he violated federal wiretapping laws by installing audio-recording devices around his house and keystroke-monitoring software on his then-wife’s computer. In his ruling, the district judge pointed to a split opinion among U.S. circuit courts as to whether the federal law applies to “interspousal wiretaps.” (The Fourth, Sixth, Eighth, Tenth, and Eleventh Circuit Courts said it does, he noted; the Second and Fifth said it doesn’t.) Similarly, in California, Virginia, Texas, Minnesota, and as of this summer New York, it is a misdemeanor to install a GPS tracker on someone’s vehicle without their consent. But when a vehicle is jointly owned, things get fuzzy.

“I always tell people two things: (1) do it legally, and (2) do it right,” says John Paul Lucich, a computer-forensics expert and the author of Cyber Lies, a do-it-yourself guide for spouses looking to become virtual sleuths. Lucich has worked his share of ugly divorces, and he stresses that even the most damning digital evidence of infidelity will prove worthless in court—and potentially land you in trouble—if improperly gathered. His blanket advice: Get a really good lawyer. Stat.

Such apps clearly have the potential to blow up relationships, but the question now may be whether they can be used to salvage them as well. Many of the betrayed partners I spoke with believe they can.

A couple of years ago, Ginger discovered that her husband, Tim, was having an affair with a woman he’d met through a nonprofit on whose board he sat. (As Ginger tells it, this was a classic case of a middle-aged man having his head turned by a much younger woman.) The affair lasted less than a year, but it took another eight months before Tim’s lover stopped sending him gifts and showing up in awkward places (even church!).

Ginger and Tim decided to tough it out—they’ve been married for 35 years and have two adult children—but that took some doing. For the first year and a half, certain things Tim did or said would trigger Ginger’s anxiety. He would announce that he was going to the store; Ginger would fire up her tracking software to ensure he did just that. Business travel called for even more elaborate reassurances. “When he was away, I would be like, ‘I want you to FaceTime the whole room—the bathroom, the closet; open the hallway door.’ ”

Ginger’s anxiety has dimmed, but not vanished. She still occasionally uses Find My iPhone to make sure Tim is, in fact, staying late at the office. “And we use FaceTime all the time. He knows that if I try to FaceTime him, he’d better answer right then or have a very, very good reason why he didn’t.”

Jay and Ann, of the boudoir photo shoot, also decided to try to repair their marriage. When he first confronted her with a record of her texts, Ann denied that the sex talk was ever more than fantasy. But when Jay scheduled a polygraph, she confessed to a full-blown, physical affair.

As hard as it has been for Jay, one year later he reports that tech tools are helping. Ann’s affair grew out of her sense of neglect, Jay told me: “She wasn’t getting the attention she wanted from me, so she found someone else to give it to her.” To strengthen their bond, Jay and Ann have started using Couple, a relationship app geared toward promoting intimacy by setting up a private line of communication for texts, pics, video clips, and, of course, updates on each person’s whereabouts. Every now and again, Jay sneaks a peek at Find My iPhone. He also has set his iPad to receive copies of Ann’s texts. “I don’t know if she realizes I’m doing that,” he told me. But in general, she understands his desire for extra oversight. “She’s like, ‘Whatever you want.’ ”

In fact, post-affair surveillance seems to be an increasingly popular counseling prescription. Even as marriage and family therapists take a dim view of unprovoked snooping, once the scent of infidelity is in the air, many become enthusiastically pro-snooping—initially to help uncover the truth about a partner’s behavior but then to help couples reconcile by reestablishing accountability and trust. The psychotherapist and syndicated columnist Barton Goldsmith says he often advocates virtual monitoring in the aftermath of an affair. Even if a spouse never exercises the option of checking up, having it makes him or her feel more secure. “It’s like a digital leash.”

And that can be a powerful deterrent, says Frank, whose wife of 37 years learned of his fondness for hookers last February, after he forgot to close an e‑mail exchange with an escort. “He had set up a Gmail account I had no idea he had,” Carol, his wife, told me. Frank tried to convince her that the e-mails were just spam, even after she pointed out that the exchange included his cell number and photos of him.

Frank agreed to marriage counseling and enrolled in a 12-step program for sexual addiction. Carol now tracks his phone and regularly checks messages on both his phone and his computer. Still, she told me sadly, “I don’t think that I’m ever going to get the whole story. I believe he thinks that if I know everything, the marriage will come to an end.”

For his part, Frank—who comes across as a gruff, traditional sort of guy, uneasy sharing his feelings even with his wife—calls Carol’s discovery of his betrayal “excruciating,” but he mostly seems angry at the oversexed culture that he feels landed him in this mess. He grumbles about how “the ease and the accessibility and the anonymity of the Internet” made it “entirely too easy” for him to feed his addiction.

Frank has clearly absorbed some of the language and lessons of therapy. “As well as it is a learned behavior to act out, it is a learned behavior not to,” he told me. He doesn’t much like his wife’s having total access to his phone, but he claims that his sole concern is for the privacy of others in his 12-step group, who text one another for support. Frank himself clearly feels the tug of his digital leash. “Now that she checks my phone and computer, I have a deterrent.”

Even as he calls virtual surveillance “a powerful tool,” though, Frank also declares it a limited one. No matter how clever the technology becomes, there will always be work-arounds. For someone looking to stray, “absolutely nothing is going to stop it,” says Frank, emphatically. “Nothing.”

Pennsylvania Teacher in Prison for Student Affairs, Husband Standing By Her

2014-10-14T16:55:00.001-07:00

from abcnews.com

Oct 10, 2014, 5:53 PM ET

By JOSEPH DIAZ and ALEXA VALIENTE via 20/20

Lauren Cooper is in prison for having inappropriate relationships with four of her students, and her husband Raphael Cooper is standing by her.

Courtesy Raphael Cooper

Lauren Cooper was an English teacher at Wyoming Valley West High School in Plymouth, Pennsylvania. She seemed to have it all.

But instead of a classroom, the 32-year-old is currently serving 9 to 23 months at the Luzerne County Correctional Facility for having inappropriate relationships with four of her students.

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“I’m glad I got caught,” she told ABC News’ “20/20” exclusively. “I went against what I know is right, and I did wrong. And there is no way to explain that away. I have no defense of myself. I was wrong, plain and simple.”

Her forbidden affairs began after she opened a dance studio in her town with her husband, Raphael Cooper. The new side-business was time-consuming and took a toll on their marriage.

“It turned into more of a business relationship than a marriage,” she said. “With us deteriorating in our marriage and having less and less of a relationship, I didn’t feel attractive. I didn’t feel wanted.”

“It was falling apart. It was coming apart. I wasn’t realizing it, possibly,” Raphael Cooper, 32, told “20/20.” “She was obviously not feeling loved.”

Needing to feel desired and accepted, Mrs. Cooper said she sought attention from an inappropriate source: an 18-year-old high school senior boy at her school.

Mrs. Cooper said the 18-year-old sent her text messages after getting her cell phone number from his sister in December 2013. Many students had her contact information because she directed several school plays, she said.

"He was very, very ... convincing, in terms of making me feel good about myself,” Mrs. Cooper recalled.

But the flirty chatter quickly turned physical, and she met the student in her car around the corner from his house and drove off. According to the senior, the couple had numerous sexual encounters.

“It wasn’t so much that I even needed a physical connection. It was just being able to interact with someone who made me feel valued and worthwhile,” Mrs. Cooper said. “As crazy as this might sound to some people, he’s very intelligent. I could have real conversations with him about real life issues.”

The six-day romance came to a halt when the boy’s parents found sexually explicit messages between the student and the teacher and immediate went to the high school.

“I wasn’t worried about him saying something. I was worried because I knew that it was wrong,” Cooper said. “I trusted him.”

Mrs. Cooper was arrested on Dec. 19, 2013 for her relationship with the senior and charged with having institutional sex. In Pennsylvania, it's illegal for a teacher to have sex with her student regardless of age or consent.

The following month, on Jan. 9, 2014, she was arrested again after a police investigation uncovered another accusation - that she allegedly had oral sex with another student, a 17-year-old boy.

Police say that the boy claims Mrs. Cooper was inappropriate inside the school as well, openly flirting and sexting with him. She reportedly whispered to him in the hallway, “All the candy you need is right here."

The boy told police that when he tried to end the relationship, she texted him saying, “What 17-year-old doesn’t want to have sex with his 31-year-old teacher.” ABC News was not given access to this text.

“My impression is that, from talking to the victims and [Mrs.] Cooper, was that she was strictly just looking for affection,” Luzerne County Detective Chaz Balogh told “20/20.” “She was very aggressive, very straight to the point.”

After the second arrest, Mrs. Cooper spent several days in jail before posting bond. “I thought my life was over, and I did make an attempt on my life,” she said.

“I just thought, ‘What is going on? What’s going on here? What is this? What are the implications going to be?’” Raphael Cooper said.

Three weeks later on Jan. 28, 2014, Mrs. Cooper was arrested a third time after two more underage male students came forward alleging that the teacher had previously had inappropriate contact with them. She was charged with corrupting minors, a misdemeanor, for reportedly showing a 16-year-old the tattoo on her breast and kissing and petting with a 17-year-old.

“I think what happened was the initial boy was getting a lot of attention, positive attention from his buddies at school. And some other people wanted to be cool as well and get the metaphorical high fives in the hallways. And so I think it was like a bandwagoning type thing,” said Mrs. Cooper.

But according to authorities, some of her other actions where even more brazen.

“She not only was victimizing the students,” said Balogh. “She [was] using other students to hook her up with others she finds attractive.”

Her attorney Joseph D'Andrea says his client is not a predator or a deviant.

"Lauren is a really, really troubled emotional person who had an insatiable need for attention," D'Andrea told "20/20."

It's a problem that Cooper said she is working out with her husband. In the months since her arrest, the couple has turned to church and a spiritual rebirth, which they say is helping them heal and rebuild their relationship.

“I don't want anybody else. I don't want to go anywhere else. I’ve had too many years built up with her, and too many good memories and too many ahead,” Raphael Cooper said. “I'm staying.”

“There are no words for it. I mean, he’s absolutely remarkable. I wish we never got away from the marriage part of our relationship,” Cooper said.

On Sept. 25, Cooper pleaded guilty to two counts of felony sexual contact and two counts of corrupting minors. Once she is released for jail, Cooper will have to register as a sex offender for 25 years. The state also revoked her teaching license for life.

“There are days that I hate myself, but I'm learning to forgive myself. I'm learning to forgive others,” said Mrs. Cooper.

“I did do wrong, but I’m not a monster. I am human, and like every other human, I made mistakes."

The Business Of Sex: Have We Come To A New Normal?

2014-09-05T21:46:00.003-07:00

from forbes

OPINION 9/05/2014 @ 11:18AM 262 views

Jim Zirin Contributor
I write about law, foreign relations and politics.

Opinions expressed by Forbes Contributors are their own.

Times have changed, and it is hard convincing our children and grandchildren that it wasn’t always this way. Although child pornography continues to be the proper subject of criminal prosecution, there is now little legal activity in art censorship. We just don’t see the obscenity cases we used to see. The New York Society for the Suppression of Vice dissolved in 1950. The Catholic Legion of Decency and its rating system for books and movies have all but disappeared. Contemporary community standards of what is obscene have become porous, perhaps because of the freewheeling nature of the Internet, which is now into publishing photos of nude celebrities hacked from a Cloud. Indeed, the Internet has made effective censorship virtually impossible. Only dull repetitiveness and superfluous specificity differentiates hard-core pornography from the literature of sex in books or the modern cinema. What once was X has become R; R has become PG-13; the really dirty films have become NR—not even rated at all. There is a new normal.

We are all fascinated by sex. Justice William J. Brennan, writing for the Court in Roth v. United States, saw sex as a “great and mysterious motive force in human life…indisputably…a subject of absorbing interest to mankind through the ages. ” Jefferson thought it the “strongest of human passions.” Benjamin Franklin considered it essential to health. Sex caused Henry VIII to renounce Catholicism; Edward VIII to renounce the throne, causing his mother to say “to think he gave up this for that”; sullied the reputations of

John F. Kennedy and Bill Clinton (who saw sex as a “mystery”), and paused the promising careers of Eliot Spitzer and General Petraeus.

Americans are obsessed with sex, and it’s not necessarily our own intimate relationships. We hunger to know what astonishing sex acts others may perform, particularly our public officials, with whom, in what position, and even with what toys and props. Not content with our interpersonal experience, which is generally conducted in private behind drawn shades or on deserted beaches, we gorge on commercially published erotica from which we derive vicarious gratification. Forbes has estimated that porn in the United States is a multi-billion dollar industry. Let’s face it, sex sells. Ask any of the Mad Men.

Erotic ideas find expression in books, movies, television, tabloid newspapers, supermarket magazines, and on Internet videos. King Farouk of Egypt was said to have a multi-million dollar collection of erotica.

Sex abides in museums, and is not necessarily limited to painting and sculpture. The Museum of Modern Art in New York recently featured a show by performance artist Marina Abramovic where the viewer could enter the exhibit by squeezing between two facing nude models (usually, but not always, a man and a woman).

Interest in erotica pervades the ages. Cavemen depicted sexual imagery on the walls of caverns. The two thousand year old Indian temples at Khajuraho, which have been called the “apogee of erotic art,” are festooned with pornographic carvings showing tantric sex in all the permutations of the Kama Sutra. In the ancient cities of Pompeii and Herculaneum, one can visit secret cabinets and see on the walls every kind of sexual coupling, including a satyr copulating with a goat. Yet, we are totally ambivalent, and even hypocritical, about our urges. Many think of this interest in the prurient as a bad thing—degrading or even a sin against God, who gave us our libidinal urges in the first place. Churches, synagogues and even our laws condemn the very erotic material we are so eager to consume.

Clerics denounced Whitman’s Leaves of Grass from the pulpit as pornographic and obscene. One critic pounced on Whitman’s supposed homosexuality, saying that the great poet was guilty of “that horrible sin not to be mentioned among Christians.”

Ultra orthodox Jews in the Jerusalem neighborhood of Mea Shearim tear down billboard advertisements depicting images of attractive women who invite the viewer to use a certain credit card.

Cole Porter’s haunting “Love for Sale,” written from the point of view of a streetwalker, was considered shameful and scandalous when first published in 1930, and was even banned from the airwaves as being too raw for radio audiences. In spite of the ban, or perhaps because of it, “Love for Sale” became a timeless hit.

English: Official portrait of Justice Potter S...
Justice Potter Stewart. He knew it when he saw it. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Since much erotica came from Europe, where attitudes tend to be less prudish, Americans made laws proscribing the importation of obscene books. Novels, such as James Joyce’s Ulysses, Henry Miller’s Tropic of Cancer or Anais Nin’sDelta of Venus that are tame by today’s standards were deemed contraband, like opium, to be confiscated by the authorities. When I was in the U.S. Attorney’s Office in the late 1960s, government lawyers congregated on Friday afternoons in a basement screening room to review for prosecution the latest cache of dirty films seized by Customs at the border. I can report that their attitude was not entirely judicious.

If Americans were ambivalent about sex, the courts have been even more dodgy as they groped for workable definitions as to what constituted obscenity and what was protected by constitutional values of free expression.

Supreme Court Justices particularly were all over the lot, formulating such unworkable tests as “whether to the average person, applying contemporary community standards, the dominant theme as a whole appeals to the prurient interest.” Some judges thought that material couldn’t be obscene if it had “redeeming social value,” as though a line from the Bible might redeem a book of hardcore erotica. This test soon morphed into the “utterly without” standard that, leaving prurience and community offensiveness aside, whether the publication is “found to be utterly without redeeming social value.”

In 1966 a commentator observed that, the Supreme Court had elaborated at least five separate and contradictory tests. One justice, Potter Stewart, would have outlawed only hardcore pornography, which he could only define this way:

“I shall not today attempt further to define the kinds of material I understand to be embraced within that shorthand description [hard-core pornography]; and perhaps I could never succeed in intelligibly doing so. But I know it when I see it, and the motion picture involved in this case is not that.”

Stewart was astonished that he became better known for this statement than any other he had written in his 23 years on the Supreme Court.

In 1922, James Joyce first published in Paris hismagnum opus, Ulysses. In one episode, the protagonist, Leopold Bloom, surreptitiously watches Gerty, a young woman on the street, and contemplates love, marriage and sexuality. As she exposes her legs and underwear to him, Bloom’s sexual fantasies escalate and reach a masturbatory climax heightened by the fireworks at the nearby bazaar.

The Little Review serialized the novel in America over a three-year period. In 1920, after the Little Review got to the particularly dirty chapter, the New York Society for the Suppression of Vice was successful in getting the state court to ban the book. The basis of the action was the masturbation scene, and the court declared the work obscene.

In 1933, publisher Bennett Cerf of Random House, represented by renowned literary property lawyer Morris Ernst, decided to launch a test case aboutUlysses. One copy of the book would be imported and then seized by customs at the pier. The case came before federal district judge John Woolsey who didn’t have at hand–and didn’t need–the divergent definitions of obscenity that perplexed Supreme Court Justices in later years. What Woolsey added to the fledgling obscenity jurisprudence was that a work must be taken as a whole, and not just judged on the dirty parts taken in isolation. He then dismissed the case and vacated the seizure.

But the story doesn’t end there. By 1968, obscenity had reached the silver screen. The Swedish film, I Am Curious-Yellow, was far more explicit than anything ever shown before in the United States. It was about a young Swedish girl named Lena and her search for identity. Lena wants to know all she can about life and reality. The film turns to Lena’s interpersonal relationships, including those with her lover.

Judge Murphy, after a jury trial in the Southern District, backed the government in its confiscation of the film as “obscene or immoral.” The Court of Appeals reversed and found error in Judge Murphy’s putting the issue of obscenity to the jury. “[T]he question whether a particular work is [obscene] involves not really an issue of fact but a question of constitutional judgment of the most delicate and sensitive kind.”

Second Circuit Judge Henry Friendly was annoyedthat I Am Curious Yellow even came before the courts. Concurring in the result, he noted that, as an inferior court judge, he was not writing on a blank slate and was bound by the Supreme Court precedents, which were difficult to harmonize. He concluded that,

“When all this has been said, I am no happier than Chief Judge Lumbard about allowing Grove Press to bring this film into the United States. But our individual happiness or unhappiness is unimportant, and that result is dictated by Supreme Court decisions…. With these reservations and with no little distaste, I concur for reversal.”

Chief Judge Lumbard, however, wrote a stinging dissent,

“While the sex is heterosexual, the participants indulge in acts of fellatio and cunnilingus. Needless to say these acts bear no conceivable relevance to any social value, except that of box office appeal.”

The Second Circuit opinion in I am Curious-Yellow spawned a succession of hardcore films as though spat out of a pornographic cornucopia. We had arrived at the “Golden Age of Porn.” The origins of the Golden Age are typically associated with the 1970 film Mona the Virgin Nymph, the first adult film to obtain a wide theatrical release in America. Following this was the massive success of the 1971 gay film Boys in the Sand and of the notoriousDeep Throat and Behind the Green Door, which were both released in 1972. These three were the first hardcore films to reach a mass mixed-sex audience, and all received positive reviews in mainstream media. Other key films from the period include The Devil in Miss Jones and Score, which appeared in mainstream movie houses for the first time. It seems we just couldn’t get enough of it.

Deep Throat was a 1972 American pornographic film written and directed by Gerard Damiano and starring Linda Lovelace. The title did not refer to FBI man W. Mark Felt, the Watergate informant for Woodward and Bernstein. The film offered a cascading continuum of streaming fellatio on a scale never before seen on the screen. What I am Curious-Yellow was for the literati and the cognoscenti, Deep Throat was for lowbrow moviegoers seeking sheer titillation.

Judicial acceptance of Deep Throat was long in coming. There was a criminal trial in the New York state Supreme Court, Manhattan. Despite expert testimony that the practices depicted in the film were well within the bounds of “normal” sexual behavior, state court Judge Joel Tyler thundered against the film. On March 1, 1973, he wrote of Deep Throat with overblown judicial invective.

“this feast of carrion and squalor,” “a nadir of decadence” and “a Sodom and Gomorrah gone wild before the fire.”

Tyler fined the producers $100,000, later reduced on appeal. But the ruling gave the film must-see cachet in many quarters. It was not long before Deep Throat was widely shown, although with some scenes cut in some states. It became the most popular X-rated film of all time. Silent partners in the film were Anthony Peraino Sr. and his son Louis, members of the Colombo crime family, who raked in millions from the venture.

In 1983, Deep Throat reached the federal court. In United States v. Various Articles of Obscene Merchandise, Judge Sweet held that various “hard-core” pornographic articles of merchandise (video cassettes and magazines), including Deep Throat were not “patently offensive” under contemporary community standards in the Southern District, and hence not “obscene.”Deep Throat was good to go. And the floodgates were henceforth wide open.

Tell your grandchildren that we totally failed in our quest to define the boundaries of obscenity. After all, it’s all in the eyes of the beholder.

—-

James D. Zirin is the author of the book, The Mother Court—Tales of Cases That Mattered in America’s Greatest Trial Court from which this article is an excerpt.

Rotherham Shocked By Revelations Up To 1,400 Children Were Sexually Abused

2014-09-02T21:11:00.001-07:00

from huffingtonpost

Reuters

By Jack Stubbs

ROTHERHAM, England, Sept 2 (Reuters) - Swapping cigarettes and chewing gum, the teenage girls outside Rotherham's Centenary Indoor Market are not engrossed in the conversations students should be having on the first day of term.

Instead of timetables and summer gossip, theirs is a new school year dominated by revelations that as many as 1,400 children in this northern English town were sexually abused by gangs of predominantly Asian men over a 16-year period.

An independent report last week exposed the scale and graphic nature of the crimes and raised difficult questions about whether timidity about confronting the racial aspects of the abuse had prompted authorities to turn a blind eye.

Some of the victims, mainly white girls in social care homes, were as young as 11 and were plied with drugs and alcohol before being trafficked to cities across northern England and gang-raped by groups of men, predominately of Pakistani heritage, the report said.

Those who tried to speak out were threatened with guns and made to watch brutal gang rapes. Their abusers said they would be next if they told anyone. One girl was doused with petrol, her rapist threatening to set her alight.

The report added that senior managers in social care "underplayed" the problem while police regarded many victims with contempt.

"The council motto is 'Where everybody matters,'" one girl outside the market, a 16-year-old sports and public services student who didn't want to be named, told Reuters.

"But them there girls didn't matter. People like us, we don't matter."

On a newsstand across the street, the front page of the Rother Advertiser newspaper calls for the resignation of council members and police officials.

"Rotherham is in disgrace," the editor writes in his paper's leading article. "It is this week the most shameful town in Britain."

Rotherham council leader, Roger Stone, resigned following the report's publication and South Yorkshire Police have commissioned an independent investigation into their handling of the scandal.

RACIAL SENSITIVITIES

Last week's report said misplaced racial sensitivities perpetuated the failure by police and local authorities to investigate the crimes over the last 12 years.

"Several councilors interviewed believed that by opening up these issues they could be 'giving oxygen' to racist perspectives that might in turn attract extremist political groups and threaten community cohesion," wrote the report's author, Professor Alexis Jay.

Allen Cowles, a Rotherham councilor for Britain's United Kingdom Independence Party (UKIP), which campaigns against what it calls "open door" immigration, said local politicians were too scared of losing votes from Rotherham's large Muslim population to speak up about the allegations, a view reiterated in much of the British press.

"Quite clearly, an excessive adherence to political correctness led to a failure to do or say the right thing for fear of being called 'racist,'" he said. "This hindered the investigation of these awful crimes from day one."

But others say concerns over racism are a weak excuse put forward by those who failed to protect some of the most vulnerable members of society.

On a residential street in Rotherham's Eastwood estate, groups of Pakistani men gather outside the Jamia Masjid Abu Bakar mosque, to talk and make plans before attending afternoon prayers. Their voices drown out the Adhan Muslim call to prayer played on speakers through an open window.

"For all of these wicked things we have seen, I blame the police and council entirely," said Mahir, a 63-year-old retired chemical salesmen. "They're not scared of being called racists when they're out arresting Pakistani drug dealers - then they are doing their job."

Others nod in agreement. "Now they are scared," says one man. "Scared that nothing was done. The whole world knows what happened here in Rotherham."

POVERTY AND VULNERABLE PEOPLE

A small town just outside the city of Sheffield in South Yorkshire, Rotherham was once known to the world as a prospering hub of Britain's steel and coal industries.

Now it typifies the poverty of post-industrial northern Britain. The site of regional fairs and trade markets since 1208, the town's medieval market square is today lined with bookmakers, "pound shop" bargain stores and empty retail spaces.

The founder of the British Muslim Youth community group, Muhbeen Hussain, said it was poverty and the exploitation of vulnerable people, not racial sensitivities, which led to the widespread sexual abuse of teenage girls in his home town.

"What happened is to do with poverty, social class and vulnerable people," said the 20-year-old history and politics student who has been interviewed by media around the world since holding a news conference saying the scandal was not a racial problem and calling for the convictions of those accused.

"The reason the council didn't take notice is because these children are from the most deprived backgrounds out there, not because they were white or the criminals were Muslim.

"They thought 'it's normal for these children to do these kind of things, they're just those kind of girls.'"

Hussain's raised voice attracts looks from other customers at the cafe on Rotherham's All Saints Square.

Joining the conversation from a neighboring table, Isobel Greyling, a teacher from the nearby town of Worksop, said the debate about ethnic sensitivities has been driven by a desire to avoid uncomfortable truths.

"People are trying to make this about race and community segregation because that's a conversation we're used to having," she said.

"It's not nice, but it's easier than facing up to the true horror - which is that these despicable things happened, on our doorstep, and nobody stopped them."

Outside, children shout, playing in the fountain, and a young boy is scolded by his teenage mother. College students sit on benches discussing the events of the first day of term.

Hussain addresses the assembled crowd of older ladies who have stopped eavesdropping and are now openly listening to him speak. He says the debates about community and meaningful change are yet to come and the main focus is achieving convictions and the resignations of those responsible for the abuse.

"When you are falling down a cliff, the first thing you do is you stop. Then you think 'how did I slip?'" he says, jabbing his forefinger into the table.

"Rotherham is falling down Mount Everest at the moment. Rotherham is falling down the biggest mountain there ever was, and Rotherham has to stop itself first." (Reporting by Jack Stubbs; Editing by Giles Elgood)

Years of Rape and ‘Utter Contempt’ in Britain

2014-09-01T19:39:00.003-07:00

from nytimes

Life in an English Town Where Abuse of Young Girls Flourished

By KATRIN BENNHOLDSEPT. 1, 2014

ROTHERHAM, England — It started on the bumper cars in the children’s arcade of the local shopping mall. Lucy was 12, and a group of teenage boys, handsome and flirtatious, treated her and her friends to free rides and ice cream after school.

Over time, older men were introduced to the girls, while the boys faded away. Soon they were getting rides in real cars, and were offered vodka and marijuana. One man in particular, a Pakistani twice her age and the leader of the group, flattered her and bought her drinks and even a mobile phone. Lucy liked him.

The rapes started gradually, once a week, then every day: by the war memorial in Clifton Park, in an alley near the bus station, in countless taxis and, once, in an apartment where she was locked naked in a room and had to service half a dozen men lined up outside.

She obliged. How could she not? They knew where she lived. “If you don’t come back, we will rape your mother and make you watch,” they would say.

At night, she would come home and hide her soiled clothes at the back of her closet. When she finally found the courage to tell her mother, just shy of her 14th birthday, two police officers came to collect the clothes as evidence, half a dozen bags of them.

SCOTLAND

North Sea

Rotherham

ENGLAND

WALES

London

English Channel

But a few days later, they called to say the bags had been lost.

“All of them?” she remembers asking. A check was mailed, 140 pounds, or $232, for loss of property, and the family was discouraged from pressing charges. It was the girl’s word against that of the men. The case was closed.

Lucy’s account of her experience is emblematic of what investigators say happened during a 16-year reign of terror and impunity in this poor northern English town of 257,000, where at least 1,400 children, some as young as 11, were groomed for sexual exploitation while the authorities looked the other way. One girl told investigators that gang rape was part of growing up in her neighborhood.

Between 1997 and 2013, despite numerous reports of sexual abuse, only one case, involving three teenage girls, was prosecuted, and five men were sent to jail, according to an official report into the sexual exploitation of children in Rotherham published last week.

Even now, the official reaction has been dominated by partisan finger-pointing and politics. The leader of the Rotherham Metropolitan Borough Council has resigned, and the police chief is under pressure to follow suit. But criminal investigations continue, and more than a dozen victims are suing the police and the Council for negligence.

The scale and brutality of the abuse in Rotherham have shocked a country already shaken by a series of child abuse scandals involving celebrities, public officials, clerics and teachers at expensive private schools. The Rotherham report suggests that it continues unchecked among the most vulnerable in British society.

It has highlighted another uncomfortable dimension of the issue, that of race relations in Britain. The victims identified in the report were all white, while the perpetrators were mostly of Pakistani heritage, many of them working in nighttime industries like taxi driving and takeout restaurants. The same was true in recent prosecutions in Oxford, in southern England, and the northern towns of Oldham and Rochdale, where nine men of Pakistani, Bangladeshi and Afghan origin were given long prison sentences in 2012 for abusing up to 47 girls. Investigators in Scotland have reportedly uncovered a similar pattern of abuse.Continue reading the main story

Sexual abuse of children takes many forms, and the majority of convicted abusers in Britain are white. But as Nazir Afzal, the chief crown prosecutor in charge of sexual violence and himself of Pakistani heritage, put it, “There is no getting away from the fact that there are Pakistani gangs grooming vulnerable girls.”

The grooming tends to follow a similar pattern, according to Alexis Jay, a former chief inspector of social work who was commissioned by the Rotherham Council to carry out an independent investigation following a series of reports in The Times of London: a period of courting with young men in public places like town centers, bus stations or shopping malls; the gradual introduction of cigarettes, alcohol and sometimes harder drugs; a sexual relationship with one man, who becomes the “boyfriend” and later demands that the girl prove her love by having sex with his friends; then the threats, blackmail and violence that have deterred so many girls from coming forward.

But the report also outlined how those victims and parents who did ask for help were mostly let down by the police and social services, despite a great deal of detail known to them for more than a decade, including, in some cases, the names of possible offenders and their license plate numbers.

“Nobody can pretend they didn’t know,” Ms. Jay said in an interview.

Unimpeded, the abuse mushroomed. Over time, investigators found, it evolved from personal gratification to a business opportunity for the men.

Increasingly, the girls were shared not just among groups of men locally, but sold, or bartered for drugs or guns. They were driven to cities like Sheffield, Manchester and London, where groups of men raped them, sometimes overnight.

When parents reported their daughters missing, it could take 24 hours for the police to turn up, Ms. Jay said. Some parents, if they called in repeatedly, were fined for wasting police time.

Some officers and local officials told the investigation that they did not act for fear of being accused of racism. But Ms. Jay said that for years there was an undeniable culture of institutional sexism. Her investigation heard that police referred to victims as “tarts” and to the girls’ abuse as a “lifestyle choice.”

In the minutes of a meeting about a girl who had been raped by five men, a police detective refused to put her into the sexual abuse category, saying he knew she had been “100 percent consensual.” She was 12.

“These girls were often treated with utter contempt,” Ms. Jay said.

Lucy, now 25 but too scared to give her last name because, she said, the men who brutalized her still live nearby, knows about contempt. During an interview at her home outside Rotherham, she recalled being questioned about her abuse by police officers who repeatedly referred to the main rapist as her “boyfriend.”

The first time she was raped, there were nine men, she said, one on top of her, another to pin her down and force himself into her mouth. Two others restrained a friend of hers, holding open her eyelids to make her watch. The rest of the men, all in their 20s, stood over her, cheering and jeering, and blinding her with the flash of their cameras.

It was November 2002, and Lucy was 13.

When she went to bed that night, she found a text message from the man who had groomed her for months: “Did you get home all right?”

She hesitated, then texted back: “Yes, I’m fine.”

At that moment, she said, rape became normality. “I thought, ‘This must be my fault, I must have given them a signal,’ ” she said.

Unlike other victims, Lucy came from a stable family. Her parents owned a convenience store and post office. They lived in a middle-class neighborhood. “I had been brought up in a nice world,” she said. “I thought rapists were people hiding in bushes, and pedophiles were people who drive white vans and park outside schools.”

After that first rape, she said, she began to think she had overreacted, and told her friend that she had been upset because she had lost her virginity. After school, they went back to the town center. The leader of the group took her to McDonald’s and rolled her a marijuana cigarette, she said. For a week, it was as if nothing had happened.

Then he raped her again, and soon the rules changed. The girls were to speak only when spoken to. They had to sit quietly in town and wait. Taxis would come by and pick them up. They were raped by different men in different places, mostly outdoors.

There seemed to be no way out. “They threatened to gang-rape my mother, to kill my brother and to firebomb my house,” Lucy said.

Once, she said, when they thought she might go to the police, a man with gold teeth whom she had never seen before dragged her into his car, a dark-green Honda with left-side drive, and put a gun to her head: “On the count of three you’re dead,” she said he told her. He pulled the trigger on three, but nothing happened. “Keep your mouth shut,” he said. “Next time there will be a bullet inside.”

Eventually, Lucy’s parents sold their business and moved to Spain for 18 months. “It became quite clear that leaving the country was the only way we could save Lucy,” said her mother, who participated in parts of the interview.

Lucy experienced years of depression and anorexia, her mother said. She now works as a consultant on child sexual exploitation issues for police departments and charities.

“They say it’s vulnerable girls these people are after,” her mother said. “Well, of course they’re vulnerable. They’re innocent. They’re children.”

COPS CHARGE WOMAN WITH BIKINI BARISTA PROSTITUTION RING

2014-08-30T22:31:00.002-07:00

from abc7

GEETIKA RUDRA

Saturday, August 30, 2014

A Washington woman has been charged with running a multi-million dollar prostitution ring from the "bikini barista" stands she owned and operated.

Carmela Panico, of Snohomish County, Wash., was charged with promoting prostitution and money laundering, police told ABC affiliate KOMO-TV in Seattle.

Police say they caught baristas at six bikini barista coffee stands owned by Panico across Snohomish County engaged in acts with customers that went beyond merely serving coffee.

According to court records obtained by KOMO-TV, Panico allegedly set a sales goal for the women working each coffee shift that was used as "effectively rent that the girls paid to have the opportunity to perform lewd conduct and acts of prostitution."

The young women made anywhere from $15,000 to $30,000 a month, according to the documents. One girl allegedly made $89,000.

The baristas were fined if they did not wear high heels, have a tan, or wear makeup, according to the documents.

Panico's bank records, obtained by police, show that she deposited more than $2 million between 2010 and 2013.

Police say she kept two sets of accounting books. The first book was allegedly intended for the IRS and Washington State Department of Revenue and the second detailed her actual profit.

Detectives also allegedly confiscated $227,863 in cash from Panico's home, according to KOMO-TV.

A police investigation into Panico and her coffee businesses began when the department began to receive complaints about baristas showing their breasts to customers for tips.

According to The Associated Press, Panico's attorney told Snohomish County Superior Court that she left the coffee business and sold some of her stands and leased others.

Last summer, a sergeant at the Snohomish County Detective's Office was arrested for allegedly giving Panico information on undercover operations to gain evidence against her suspected prostitution ring, in exchange for sex.

The sergeant resigned after he was charged with promoting prostitution and official misconduct.

Berlusconi 'directed' bunga bunga sex parties: court

2013-11-21T08:55:00.003-08:00

from reuters

BY EMILIO PARODI

MILAN Thu Nov 21, 2013 10:05am EST

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1 OF 2. A combination photo shows file photos of Karima El Mahroug of Morocco posing during a photocall at the Karma disco in Milan November 14, 2010 and Italy's former Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi waving as he arrives for a meeting of the European People's Party in Brussels June 28, 2012.

CREDIT: REUTERS/STRINGER (L) AND SEBASTIEN PIRLET/FILES

(Reuters) - Former Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi was the ringmaster of "bunga bunga" sex parties at his luxurious villa near Milan, giving the go-ahead for young women to perform pole dances and stripteases, according to a court document.

Berlusconi, who faces potential expulsion from his Senate seat next week after receiving a final conviction for tax fraud in a separate case, was handed a seven-year jail sentence in June for abuse of office and paying for sex with a minor during the parties.

In a document released on Thursday explaining the reasons behind the conviction, the court said there was sufficient proof that the 77-year-old had sexual relations with former nightclub dancer Karima El Mahroug, who was 17 at the time, in exchange for money and jewelry.

It said Berlusconi directed women to perform and dance erotically during the parties.

"It is proven that the director of the young women's sexual performances was Berlusconi himself," the court said.

Berlusconi has described the evenings as "elegant dinners" and is appealing the verdict. He will not have to serve any jail time for the conviction unless it is upheld after two appeals.

The court said it was Berlusconi who decided when to begin "the so-called 'bunga bunga' in which female guests worked to satisfy the desires of the defendant, that is to 'make him feel bodily pleasures'... performing pole dances, striptease, dressing in disguises and fondling each other".

RUBY HEARTSTEALER

Evidence also shows Berlusconi was aware that El Mahroug, also known by her stage name "Ruby the Heartstealer", was under 18 at the time, below the legal age limit for prostitution in Italy, the court found.

In May 2010, the then-prime minister called a Milan police station to instruct officials to release El Mahroug, who was being held on suspicion of stealing a 3,000 euro ($4,000)bracelet.

Berlusconi's lawyers said he had made the call to avoid a diplomatic incident because he believed El Mahroug was the grand-daughter of Hosni Mubarak, then Egyptian president. But prosecutors said he was anxious to cover up their sexual relations.

The court said in the document that if Berlusconi had not known El Mahroug was under-age, he would have had no reason to make the call and try to secure her release.

The prostitution case forms only one part of Berlusconi's legal problems [ID:nL6N0HT2FS]. In August Italy's top appeals court confirmed his conviction for massive tax fraud at his Mediaset TV empire, a decision he says was politically motivated.

The Senate is due to vote on November 27 on whether to expel him from his seat. Berlusconi, whose center-right party is part of Italy's coalition government, has said he may no longer back Prime Minister Enrico Letta if he is kicked out. But a split in his party has left him without the numbers to bring the government down.

(Reporting by Emilio Parodi, writing by Catherine Hornby; Editing by Mark Trevelyan)

Arrest made in Miss Teen USA Cassidy Wolf 'sextortion' case

2013-09-26T18:11:00.005-07:00

from cnn

By Greg Botelho, CNN

updated 8:58 PM EDT, Thu September 26, 2013

Beauty queen says webcam was hacked

STORY HIGHLIGHTS

NEW: FBI: Suspect released on bond, can use computer for school only
Jared James Abrahams, 19, is arrested after being accused of extortion
Authorities say he hijacked webcams, took photos, threatened to expose women
One of his alleged victims was Cassidy Wolf, who is now Miss Teen USA

(CNN) -- A college student was arrested Thursday for allegedly hijacking the webcams of young women -- among them reigning Miss Teen USA Cassidy Wolf -- taking nude images, then blackmailing his victims to send him more explicit material or else be exposed.

Jared James Abrahams, a 19-year-old computer science student from Temecula, California, surrendered on Thursday to the FBI on federal extortion charges, the agency announced. Authorities say he victimized young women surreptitiously, by taking control of their computers then photographing them as they changed out of their clothes.

Abrahams appeared in court later in the day, then was released "on intensive pretrial supervision and home detention with electronic monitoring" after his parents signed a $25,000 bond, FBI spokeswoman Lourdes Arocho said. U.S. District Judge Jean Rosenbluth ruled that he could use a single desktop computer at his parents' home for school only, albeit only after monitoring software is applied.

When he admitted what he'd done in June, Abrahams said he had 30 to 40 "slave computers" -- or other people's electronic devices he controlled -- and has had as many as 150 total, according to acriminal complaint.

His arrest came six months after a teenager identified in court documents as C.W. alerted authorities. She has since publicly identified herself as Cassidy Wolf, the recently crowned Miss Teen USA. She touted news reports of her alleged tormenter's arrest on her Twitter feed.

How easy are you making it for hackers?

At the time she contacted police, in March, Wolf was not a national figure -- even though she was Miss Teen California -- and lived in an apartment and attended Orange Coast College in Costa Mesa.

Wolf got a Facebook alert that someone had tried to change her password to the social networking site, then noticed other passwords had been changed and that her Twitter avatar was now a half-nude picture of herself.

A short time later, she received what would be the first of many messages, this one featuring pictures of Wolf at her Riverside County address and others apparently taken months earlier when she lived in Orange County, says the criminal complaint. The message explained "what's going to happen" if Wolf didn't send pictures or videos or "do what I tell you to do" in a five-minute Skype videoconference, according to the criminal complaint.

"Either you do one of the things listed below or I upload these pics and a lot more (I have a LOT more and those are better quality) on all your accounts for everybody to see and your dream of being a model will be transformed into a pornstar (sic)," he wrote.

Recalling that day, Wolf told NBC's "Today" show she started "screaming (and) bawling my eyes out."

"I wasn't sure what to do," she said in August, shortly after her Miss Teen USA win. "So it was terrifying."

The messenger had taken great efforts to hide his online identity. But investigators were eventually able to find corresponding e-mails, IP addresses and other communications they linked to Abraham. They also tied him to online forums asking about malware, how to control webcams, and hacking into Facebook accounts.

Investigators also linked him to at least eight other young women -- some of them, like Wolf, from Southern California, though others were from as far away as Moldova. The victims told authorities similar stories: of a person they did not know saying, and in some cases proving, he had nude images and making demands as a result.

The stalker claimed to have 1,000 photographs of one woman, the complaint said. When she asked, "Why are you doing this to me?" the response was, "I told you I'll answer any questions after you Skype."

As an FBI agent was speaking by phone to this young woman, she logged onto her Instagram account to find it populated by nude pictures of her, the complaint said.

A few young women apparently complied with the demands for a Skype session. The man promised not to record the sessions and he made it look like he was erasing the nude pictures of them. One such session was found on the suspect's phone, police said.

Foul-mouthed hacker hijacks baby monitor

Investigators examining e-mail exchanges found one in which an alleged victim wrote she was downloading Skype and pleading, "Please remember im only 17. Have a heart."

"I'll tell you this right now! I do NOT have a heart!!!" he wrote back, per the complaint. "However I do stick to my deals! Also age doesn't mean a thing to me."

Authorities executed a search warrant at Abrahams' home on June 4, at which time he "voluntarily agreed to speak" with a pair of FBI agents. Describing himself in that interview as a college freshman who was good with computers, the complaint said, he admitted using malware and his expertise to "watch his victims change their clothes and ... use the photographs against them."

Abrahams further admitted the e-mail accounts, VPN, domain names or other pieces of the electronic puzzle that investigators used to build a case were his, according to the criminal complaint.

There were no publicly listed phone numbers for Abrahams in Temecula, and his legal representation was not immediately known.

As to the now 19-year-old Wolf, she is juggling her studies at the New York Film Academy with duties tied to being Miss Teen USA.

A lifelong dancer and aspiring model, Wolf is using her platform to promote a number of initiatives -- including, given her personal experience, the issue of cyberstalking.

"It does happen," she said in an interview with CNN affiliate WPIX. "And there are ways to prevent it."

Naked scammers seduce, blackmail men on Web

Teacher Who Allegedly Had Baby With Teen Student Arrested

2013-07-02T17:41:00.002-07:00

She gave birth June 18 after an alleged nearly one-year relationship with a 16-year-old

By Melissa Pamer

| Tuesday, Jul 2, 2013 | Updated 5:17 PM PDT

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This picture of Laura Whitehurst -- a Redlands teacher arrested Monday for allegedly having an affair and a baby with a 16-year-old student -- appeared in the 2013 Citrus Valley High School yearbook, according to the photo editor for the newspaper the Redlands Daily Facts.

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6 Reasons Marriage Counseling is BS

2012-10-13T22:16:00.001-07:00

Posted: 10/13/2012 5:00 am

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If you want to save your marriage, for the love of God, don't go to marriage counseling.

Eighteen years ago my marriage was in tatters. My husband and I went to counseling for years thinking there was something wrong with us, but we finally realized that the counseling was the problem. That set me on a path to discovering the principles of intimacy, which I describe in The Surrendered Wife, a New York Times best-selling book printed in 26 countries and 15 languages.

Hundreds of thousands of women have used these principles to transform their shredded marriages into intimate, passionate relationships, but too many are still stuck in ineffective marriage counseling. Here are some of the reasons that marriage counseling is a big, fat lie.

1. It starts with calling your spouse a loser

When a wife says to her husband, "We should go to counseling," what she really means is, "You're a loser."

Since a key ingredient for intimacy is emotional safety, this approach puts the connection she craves further out of reach. The last time your husband criticized you, did it make you want to hug him?

A woman who doesn't realize she just criticized her husband by suggesting marriage counseling might think his snarky response is coming out of nowhere -- which proves he needs marriage counseling.

No relationship ever got happier from one person criticizing the other. What takes more courage -- but always results in much greater connection -- is being vulnerable by admitting you feel hurt, rejected or lonely.

2. Some marriage counselors are failures

Some marriage counselors aren't married. Others are divorced twice or unhappily married. Is this who you want to pay for advice? Would you take fitness tips from a 350-pound personal trainerwho just had bypass surgery?

If your marriage counselor doesn't have the kind of relationship you want, she simply can't tell you how to get it. When I think about the lousy advice that we got during our marriage counseling, I'm amazed that we survived it.

Instead of someone with an impressive diploma, consider seeking the advice of a wife with a happy, healthy, intimate relationship.

3. Any fool can complain and most do during marriage counseling

The fastest way to destroy your relationship is to focus on what's wrong with your partner. Dwelling on his faults is the opposite of what you did when you fell in love. If you admired his ambition and now you think he works too much, guess what changed? Only the way you're looking at him.

Couples typically argue after a marriage counseling session because focusing on each other's faults makes you feel more resentful and hopeless.

If you want to restore your relationship, here's a great remedy: Make a habit of giving your partner three expressions of gratitude daily. Focusing on the things you appreciate about your mate is a powerful way to remind yourself why you chose him in the first place.

4. It's a hideout for hypocrites

Lots of us go to marriage counseling secretly believing we're just there to be supportive while the counselor fixes the other person's shortcomings. Marriage counselors will tell you that the only thing you have to do to change your spouse is get him to come in for a hundred sessions. But marriage counseling will never work because it focuses on someone you can't change: Your spouse.

Trying to control someone else not only wears you out, it gives you the illusion that you're working really hard on your relationship while the other person isn't doing anything. It also steals energy away from improving the only person you can: Yourself.

It's only when you accept and celebrate your spouse as the quirky individual he is that you can both relax into being yourselves -- just like you did when you were dating.

5. Men are not big, hairy women

Many women believe that if their man would just share his feelings, they would finally have the connection they crave. But asking a man how he feels in counseling is like asking a woman in a bathing suit who's eating a piece of cake how much she weighs.

Trying and failing to get a man to talk about his feelings in marriage counseling may confirm a wife's worst fears that her husband is defective. But the real failure here is her lack of respect for the man he is -- the one she picked to marry.

Chances are good that you married an imperfect man who's perfect for you. Instead of trying to pry his feelings out of him, consider bringing respect back into the relationship by honoring your husband's masculinity and his choices for himself. If you want more passion in your marriage, there's no stronger aphrodisiac than respect.

6. It's the most expensive way to try to control your spouse

Marriage counseling may seem like an important purchase, but it's actually a tragic waste because it diverts funds from something that really would help your marriage: Self-care.

Self-care means not only getting enough rest and nourishment, it means that you make it a priority to do three pleasurable things every single day. Relationships naturally take a little energy and if you're depleted, you give your relationship no chance to thrive. Showing up delighted instead of depleted is indispensable for a gratifying and intimate partnership.

You may have thought it was your husband's job to make you happy, but it's actually yours. Your husband would like to make you happy, but if he can't he may stop trying. Once you make yourself feel good, he sees that you are pleasable, which opens the door for him to delight you too. Men love making their women happy. "Happy wife, happy life" is not just an adage. Ask any guy.

To have the relationship you crave, fire your marriage counselor and discover the principles of intimacy. To find out which skills you need to work on to experience love and connection that lasts a lifetime, take the quiz at lauradoyle.org.

Prostitution scandal at Zumba dance studio rocks Maine tourist town

2012-10-10T07:24:00.002-07:00

Published October 09, 2012

Associated Press

Oct. 9, 2012: Alexis Wright, 29, turns towards her attorney Sarah Churchill, left, during her arraignment in Portland, Maine on 109 counts of prostitution, violation of privacy, tax evasion and other charges for allegedly providing sex for money at her Kennebunk fitness studio and office. (AP)

KENNEBUNK, Maine – This upscale southern Maine town is known for its ocean beaches, old sea captains' mansions and the neighboring town of Kennebunkport, home to the Bush family summer compound.

But the talk of the town these days is the arrest of a local fitness instructor who's been charged with running a prostitution business out of her Zumba dance studio and secretly videotaping her encounters. Now the town is on the edge of its seat, waiting for the revelation of which of their friends and neighbors are among her more than 100 alleged johns.

"There's still some of that puritanical New England left around," said Will Bradford, who owns a copy shop in town. "There are places in the world that would laugh at this."

Alexis Wright, 29, was dressed conservatively in a jacket, blouse and slacks as she pleaded not guilty Tuesday in Portland to 106 counts of prostitution, violation of privacy, tax evasion and other charges for allegedly providing sex for money at her fitness studio and a nearby one-room office she rented. The man police say was her business partner, 57-year-old Mark Strong Sr. pleaded not guilty to 59 counts of promotion of prostitution and violation of privacy.

Prosecutors haven't detailed why Wright would have been videotaping her encounters. But they gathered more than 100 hours of video and nearly 14,000 screen shots from seized computers, Deputy District Attorney Justina McGettigan said.

"The state's in over its head. This case isn't ready for prosecution," Daniel Lilly, Strong's lawyer, said at the hearing.

Wright's lawyer, Sarah Churchill, has declined to comment, and the defendants did not speak as they left the hearing. Wright, who lives in the nearby community of Wells and is the single mother of a young son, and Strong are free on personal recognizance.

Police have begun issuing summons to Wright's customers and will release the names in the weeks ahead. Townspeople say they've heard that lawyers, doctors, law enforcement officials, a television personality and other well-known people in town are included in a detailed clientele list police found.

A lot of people would rather not see the names made public because it will hurt families, children and careers, said Dan Breton, the owner of a convenience store and deli.

"I think most of my customers were shocked this was going on," Breton said. "But any time something like that happens, people get curious. It's almost like the newspapers are teasing us that there are prominent names on the list. But maybe it'll be nothing."

The superintendent of schools issued a memo to teachers and staff last week, instructing them to be on the lookout for students who have relatives on the list of names and may be teased or have trouble coping.

Wright opened her Pura Vida fitness studio teaching Zumba, a Latin-inspired fitness program that combines aerobics and dance, in 2010 about a block from the downtown business district in this town of about 10,000 people 25 miles south of Portland, the state's largest city. She later rented a one-room office across the street, above a hair salon and a flower store.

That same year, an anonymous blog appeared accusing of Wright of not being the sweet, friendly Zumba instructor she portrayed herself to be. "She's living a double life and is a porn star. She may be a prostitute for all I know," the first blog entry reads.

Police began investigating after hearing reports of cars coming to the studio and the office at all hours of the day and night and men going in for a half an hour or an hour at a time, according to a police affidavit released when Strong, of Thomaston, was arrested in July.

The landlord who rented the office space to Wright told investigators one of his tenants sometimes heard "moaning and groaning" coming from Wright's office, the affidavit says.

When the landlord checked the office himself, he found a massage table and a video camera set up on a tripod. He told police he later found an online porn video of Wright that was recorded in the office, which he recognized by the walls, the floor and the window.

When police raided the studio and office in February, they seized electronic ledgers of sexual acts, video recordings and records of clients and the sexual acts performed by Wright, according to the affidavit. Judging by what they found, police said Wright's sexual activities generated as much as $150,000.

Investigators said there was both a "business and personal" connection between Strong and the activity at the studio. Video footage showed Wright and Strong having sex, according to the affidavit.

Bee Nguyen, who rented the studio space to Wright and Strong, said Tuesday he often saw cars pulling up to the back of the studio and men going in but didn't think anything of it.

"She had a boyfriend," said Nguyen, adding that Wright and Strong owe him about $10,000 in back rent.

It wasn't clear whether Wright still had custody of her son; the agency that oversees child welfare says it can't comment.

It wouldn't be surprising to hear of a prostitution operation with clients coming and going day and night in a big city, residents say -- but not in Kennebunk, a tourist town with traditional white-steeple churches, tree-lined streets and quaint bed-and-breakfasts.

"Still, the fact that it's happening in Kennebunk shows we're not above it all," Greg Patterson said while getting a haircut at a downtown barber shop.

Seal accuses ex-wife Heidi Klum of ‘fornicating with the help’ amid rumors model is dating her bodyguard

2012-09-01T14:53:00.001-07:00

Gossip

‘Project Runway’ host Heidi Klum was the target of some barbed remarks from ex-husband Seal who blamed her for the split by cheating on him with her bodyguard.

Comments (14)

By Charlie Wells / NEW YORK DAILY NEWS

Saturday, September 1, 2012, 2:43 PM

Chris Pizzello/AP

Heidi Klum and Seal at the Grammy Awards back in February.

Soul singer Seal accused Heidi Klum of “fornicating with the help” Friday night, suggesting his ex-wife’s cheating with her bodyguard was responsible for their split.
“I would have thought Heidi would have showed a little more class and at least waited until we separated first before deciding to fornicate with the help,” Seal told TMZ in an unexpectedly frank interview.
After nearly seven years of marriage, the British-born singer and the German-born supermodel separated in January and filed for divorce in April.
They had three biological children together, and in 2009, Seal adopted one of Klum’s children from a different relationship.
Clearly angered when reflecting upon his ex — and, it would seem, her very public appearances with her bodyguard this summer — Seal told reporters that people move on after they separate. He said his main priority is the emotional well-being of his children.
But according to the “Kiss from a Rose” singer, his kids’ mental health could be damaged by having someone new around.
“You know if there is going to be somebody else in their lives, I’d much rather it was a familiar face,” he told reporters.
Klum has reportedly begun an entirely new relationship with her bodyguard, who sources identify as Martin Kirsten.
"They've been seeing each other," a source told In Touch magazine. "They were recently spotted together on vacation in Sardinia, Italy."

Brian Flannery/FameFlynet

Heidi Klum strolling in Greenwich Village with with two nannies, her four children, her mother and an unidentified bodyguard, right.

The “Project Runway” host feels “happy” and “so safe around him,” another source told the magazine.
Even if she’s happy with her new man, fans shouldn’t expect to hear wedding bells any time soon.
"I really enjoyed being married," Klum told In Touch. "I’m a dreamer. I loved our annual fairy-tale weddings that were our big family parties. But sadly, it somehow didn’t work out. I don’t know if I’ll get married again."
cwells@nydailynews.com

A nation's sex strike for democracy

2012-08-30T10:57:00.000-07:00

updated 7:46 AM EDT, Wed August 29, 2012

A woman confronts police officers outside a gathering in Lome, Togo, of the opposition group Let's Save Togo.

STORY HIGHLIGHTS

Activist women of Togo are withholding sex to get men to take action against dictator
Sex strike organizers say they will use whatever power they have for democratic change
Successful sex strikes have happened many times historically and globally
Frida Ghitis: But women need real power to have a fair say and role in political process

Editor's note: Frida Ghitis is a world affairs columnist for The Miami Herald and World Politics Review. A former CNN producer/correspondent, she is the author of "The End of Revolution: A Changing World in the Age of Live Television." Follow her on Twitter: @FridaGColumns

(CNN) -- In a time of global political combustion, with calls for democracy sparking mass demonstrations, self-immolations and civil wars, the women of the small African country of Togo might be the first to try to bring down a dictator by staging a sex strike.

The women, along with many men in Togo, have had enough of one-family rule. President Faure Gnassingbe took the presidency in 2005, shortly after the death of his father, who had held power for 38 years. The country has maintained a thin democratic façade, holding regular elections, but between father and son, the family has not relinquished power in four decades.

Opposition protests demanding changes to the electoral law ahead of the next elections have resulted in clashes with security forces and mass arrests. So on Saturday, in front of thousands of people at a rally in the capital of Lome, the female members of the opposition group Let's Save Togo announced the deployment of their new weapon.

Isabelle Ameganvi, head of the women's wing of the group, called on all Togolese women to "keep the gate of your 'motherland' locked up" for a week. If all goes according to plan, this is the week during which Togo's men are having time to think about the motherland and about their yearning for, well, democracy.

Frida Ghitis

Organizers of the sex strike say they want to bring about the release of prisoners, and they want to motivate the men to take action against Gnassingbe. Ultimately, they want to see a true democratic change and the president to step down.

The idea of using sex for political objectives is not new. Women, who throughout history have found themselves at a disadvantage with men holding most of the power, have long known that men have a special vulnerability when it comes to sex. Withholding sex has been used to achieve political goals before.

As with every occasion when women have resorted to this tactic, the decision was reached after profound frustration with other methods. And it is a sign that women's power remains very limited that their best strategy is to pressure men to take action.

Some women say this tactic harms women by emphasizing their sexuality rather than their humanity. But Togo's activists say they are using their power wherever they can find it.

The idea of a sex strike has a history that goes all the way back to ancient Greece. In the play "Lysistrata," the women of Athens, fed up with the men's endless wars, decide to stop having sex with them until they put an end to the Pelopponesian War. The comedy was performed before Athenian audiences exactly 2,500 years ago.

Interestingly, in the play by Aristophanes, the women do more than withhold sex. They also take over the Parthenon, where the city holds the treasury that funds the war, and they fight to hold on.

It may take more than sex to persuade men to do the right thing, but "Lysistrata"-inspired actions have an illustrious and possibly successful track record.

In the countless times when women have launched sex strikes, it's impossible to know whether it was the lack of sex that ultimately produced the desired outcomes, because by the time women opted to brandish this weapon, they had tried many other ways. And it is also impossible to know just how thoroughly each strike was implemented. Or how many men resorted to sexual violence to break the strike.

Still, there are some interesting examples of women achieving their objectives -- which, incidentally, always seem to benefit society at large, not just women -- after the sex strike was called. Whether one thing produced the other is a subject of debate.

The clearest case of success took place in the Colombian town of Barbacoas, where last year women launched their "crossed legs strike" to demand construction of a road. They would not have sex, they vowed, until the men managed to get a road built so that it wouldn't take 10 hours to reach the provincial capital just 35 miles away.

Moved by the men's unimaginable suffering, the government agreed to build the road.

A few years earlier, also in Colombia, the wives and girlfriends of gang members in the embattled city of Pereira said they would keep their legs crossed unless the men stopped the violence that had killed nearly 500 people. The murder rate reportedly dropped by 26.5%.

But it wasn't ancient Greece or South America or a recent sex strike in the Philippines that inspired the Togolese pro-democracy activists. It was the amazing story of Liberia that gave them cause for optimism.

In 2003, the Liberian people had endured 14 years of a brutal civil war that had torn the country apart. The leaders of the Women of Liberia Mass Action for Peace organized a series of nonviolent actions, including a sex strike, demanding an end to the war. The group's leader, Leymah Gbowe, later won the Nobel Peace Prize, sharing with Ellen Johnson-Sirleaf, another Liberian woman who was about to make history.

Again, nobody knows just how important a role the no-sex portion of the protests played. But before the year was over, the parties to the conflict signed a peace deal ending the war and laying the groundwork for democratic elections.

When Liberians went to the polls, the majority voted for Johnson-Sirleaf, the first woman elected president in Africa's history.

Now that is a success story, because once women hold real political power, they no longer need to resort to sex strikes and other indirect means to express their views and obtain results. In the end, it's about giving all citizens, including women, a fair say in the political process. That's the ultimate goal in the struggle for true democracy.

Follow us on Twitter @CNNOpinion.

Join us on Facebook/CNNOpinion

Warrants: Fetishes led to Marine wife's slaying

2012-07-19T16:15:00.000-07:00

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By JULIE WATSON and ELLIOT SPAGAT / The Associated Press

SAN DIEGO – Three roommates involved with a "sex dungeon" at their home may have murdered a Marine's wife as they tried to satisfy their fetishes, investigators say in newly unsealed search warrants.

Detectives found "bondage type sex apparatuses, toys and tools" and the home of the two woman and man who have been charged with murder in the death of 22-year-old Brittany Killgore, whose body was found near a Riverside County lake. The warrants were unsealed Wednesday at the request of news organizations including The Associated Press.

This image provided by the San Diego County Sheriff's Department shows Brittany Dawn Killgore, who was reported missing April 14. Her body was found near a Riverside County lake.

MORE PHOTOS »

Investigators believe all three suspects were with Killgore at their home in Fallbrook, north of San Diego, shortly after the victim sent a desperate text message to a friend, "Help."

Killgore was last seen April 13 in a borrowed purple evening gown, three days after she filed for divorce from Lance Cpl. Cory Killgore, who was serving in Afghanistan at the time. The documents say her body was found with neck injuries consistent with strangulation and marks on her wrist and leg that suggested someone tried to use a saw or other tool to dismember her.

A San Diego County sheriff's detective said in one affidavit that the trio may have targeted Killgore for their "unusual sexual fetishes." Louis Ray Perez and Dorothy Maraglino told authorities they were involved in "master, servant and slave role playing."

The third suspect, Jessica Lopez, said she strangled the victim, fearing the victim would upend a kinky sex ring by seducing her "Master," according to the warrants. Lopez wrote in a seven-page letter that she believed Killgore was trying to come between her, Perez and Maraglino. All three have pleaded not guilty.

Lopez, who calls Perez her "Master," shoulders full blame for the killing, saying she acted after the victim told her that she had a "whole night planned" with Perez, comments suggesting jealousy was a motive.

Lopez, 25, said she had been burned before in a relationship and knew what she had to do when Killgore entered their Fallbrook home. Lopez said she shot the victim with a stun gun, wrapped a rope around a neck, buried her face in a pillow and strangled her.

Lopez said she made "a few attempts to chop her up" with Perez's power tools and doused Killgore's body in bleach to get rid of evidence before dumping the nude body near Lake Skinner, near Riverside.

The documents give no indication that Killgore knew about the sex ring and prosecutors call her an innocent victim. Detectives said she accepted Perez's invitation to a San Diego dinner cruise after Perez helped her move that afternoon. The warrants do not say how Killgore met the suspects.

Sloan Ostbye, Lopez's attorney, didn't immediately respond to a phone message Wednesday. She joined the San Diego County district attorney's office in an appeal to keep the documents sealed, calling much of her client's letter "false or at least misleading and possibly delusional."

In her letter, Lopez called Perez the "Master" and told police he wasn't responsible for the killing. Detectives found it in a San Diego hotel where Lopez was discovered with self-inflicted cuts four days after Killgore disappeared.

The handwritten letter – below a mirror that was scrawled with the word "PIGS READ THIS" – accused police of "complete incompetence." It is laced with profanity and poor punctuation.

The letter says where the body was dumped, telling police they would likely find handcuff marks on the wrists. It says the handcuffs and a knife were disposed of at a beach restroom in Oceanside.

Three days after Killgore vanished, detectives searched Perez's mud-caked Ford Explorer and found a plastic bag with a stun gun, latex gloves and Killgore's blood, officials said. Perez's DNA was found on the stun gun.

The documents describe an elaborate ruse for Perez to conceal his whereabouts on the night Killgore vanished.

The Marine told detectives he picked up Killgore for the dinner cruise but instead dropped her off at a downtown San Diego nightclub. He said he couldn't find her at the club after parking and returned home.

Killgore's and Perez's cellphones remained in Fallbrook that night, contradicting his statement that he was in San Diego, according to authorities.

Killgore sent a text message to a friend that said, "Help," at 7:50 p.m., about 13 minutes after Perez picked her up. The friend asked if she was OK and insisted she call. About two hours later, the friend got a response, "Yes I love this party," which fueled suspicions because Killgore always texted 'yeah' instead of 'yes' and had said nothing about going to a party.

A transient found Killgore's phone at his feet when he woke up in the doorway of a downtown San Diego hotel that night. A San Diego County sheriff's detective said he believed Perez drove downtown to get rid of the phone.

All three defendants are being held in lieu of $3 million bail. A preliminary hearing is scheduled Aug. 21.

Scientology’s Sea Org: An Escape Story for Katie Holmes and Suri Cruise

2012-07-06T17:51:00.000-07:00

by Abigail Pesta Jul 6, 2012 4:45 AM EDT

Astra Woodcraft grew up in the militaristic arm of Scientology called the Sea Org—until she broke free. As told to Abigail Pesta.

I was 7 years old—just a year older than Suri Cruise—when I entered the Orwellian world of rules, rewards, and punishments known as the Church of Scientology.

Abigail Pesta on Astra Woodcraft’s escape from Scientology.

Prior to that, I had led a relatively normal life with my family in London. My parents were Scientologists, but not in a zealous way. Then my mother decided to become more involved with the church, and we moved to Clearwater, Florida, where she joined a religious order called the Sea Organization. She signed a contract commiting herself to the group for a billion years—covering her future lives, as the church believes people are immortal. We settled into a compound with other families. The year was 1986. I remember it as the year I lost my freedom.

I imagine that Katie Holmes is trying to protect her daughter, Suri, from the rigid world of Scientology now, and I applaud Katie for that. I wish my mother had done the same. 

Instead, my own mother became a stranger to me, when I needed her most—when I was a scared kid in a strange compound in Florida. But in the Sea Org, as it is known, parents aren’t supposed to pay much attention to their children; kids are a distraction from a higher mission. 

Free at last: Astra Woodcraft lives in L.A. with her daughter, Kate.

Scientology, founded by the late science-fiction novelist L. Ron Hubbard in the 1950s, has its roots in Hubbard’s self-help system known as Dianetics. Hubbard believed that people could be counseled, or “audited,” to recall and cast off negative events that prevent them from reaching their full potential. The Sea Org came along after Scientology, in 1967, initially operating from several ships. The group essentially serves as the managerial arm of the church; its members live together in communal compounds, wear uniforms, work for minimal wages, and supervise church operations. It is run with military precision. 

Suri Cruise may be having a different experience with the church than I did as a child. Her parents are celebrities, and are likely treated as such. They would be more like “public” Scientologists, people who live at home and have careers outside the church. But Suri could certainly be going through indoctrination. She could be learning that if something bad happens to her, it’s because she “pulled it in,” or brought it on herself with negative thoughts. If her friends question her religion, she may be labeled a “potential trouble source,” a person with bad influences. She would be taught that wanting to leave the church is deeply shameful—and possibly a result of her misdeeds in a previous life, coming back to haunt her. She would need to be “audited” to bring her back in line. 

THE COST OF LEAVING SCIENTOLOGY

See Astra Woodcraft's $89,000 bill from the church.

I was “audited” from an early age, even before we moved to Florida. I remember a Scientology official asking me to answer the same questions over and over, or telling me to touch a wall time and again, until I felt almost dizzy. The repetition in an auditing session, essentially, is designed to help you clear your mind, and make the physical world disappear—to separate you from your body. In Scientology, you go through increasingly advanced sessions over the years, to ensure that your mind remains “clear,” that you shed negative thoughts and reach your potential. 

Once, after one of these childhood auditing sessions in London, I fell while running down a hill. I remember my mother telling me this was a good thing; it meant I had left my body. It’s a memory that stayed with me, in vivid detail. I didn’t quite understand what my mother was saying, but I knew it was important.   It was an indicator of what was to come. 

In the compound in Florida, my mother seemed to change overnight, transforming from a loving, caring parent into a distant, aloof figure, as she dedicated herself to her religion. She had grown up in Scientology; she took her new role in the Sea Org very seriously. I remember a time, soon after we moved to the compound, when I was delirious with fever and desperately wanted her by my side. She came—but only briefly, before disappearing. I felt abandoned. 

I saw her only once or twice a week. I wasn’t supposed to call her “Mom” in public, but rather “Sir,” reflecting her rank within the organization. My older brother, Matt, also signed the billion-year contract, dedicating himself to the Sea Org. My dad reluctantly committed himself to the organization, too. As an architect, he was sent off to renovate a Scientology ship, theFreewinds, where Tom Cruise would later celebrate his birthday. My little sister, Zoe, and I were too young to become full-fledged members of the organization, so we became trainees. 

My first two years in Florida, I attended a public school, along with other Scientologist kids. Our group was not terribly popular—we often had head lice, I guess because we were all living together in the compound, sleeping in dorm rooms on sofas and bunk beds. We were dressed in old, sometimes stained and torn clothing. The compound wasn’t the cleanest of places, even though we were all tasked with cleaning chores after school, like sweeping floors and scrubbing toilets. 

I made friends within our community, but they didn’t feel like real friends; I couldn’t confide in them that I felt miserable, or they would tell on me for being negative. There were rewards for good behavior—such as a dip in a swimming pool—and punishments for bad behavior—such as extra chores. There was always a looming threat of hard labor for those who seriously misbehaved. At night we drank a beverage we called “CalMag,” a terrible mixture of calcium, magnesium, vinegar, and water. It was supposed to calm us down. I'm 33 years old now and can taste it still when I think of it. 

When I was 9, my mother got transferred to Los Angeles. Our family moved into a rundown apartment, and my public-school days were over. Instead I went to Cadet School, a training school for the Sea Org, where I learned the basics of reading, writing, and math, but had no classes in subjects like history or geography. After school, I worked for hours in the basement of the Sea Org offices, filing papers and doing other organizational tasks. I often stayed there overnight with my fellow students, sleeping on cots. 

Astra Woodcraft in her Cadet uniform as a child in the Sea Org, with her mother. (Courtesy of Astra Woodcraft)

I complained to my father, and he got me into a different school, also run by Scientologists. This school, called Ability Plus, was supposed to be better, but it was about the same. There was no real curriculum; our teacher spent hours reading to us from L. Ron Hubbard's science-fiction book Battlefield Earth. Other than that, I remember a lot of spelling bees and math bees.

At this point, my father had begun to get frustrated with the rules of the Sea Org. He separated from my mother, taking a leave of absence from the Sea Org and becoming a “public” Scientologist. I continued to live with him in the apartment, while my mother moved to a Sea Org compound. 

In my early teens, I, too, began to rebel. I envied the public-school kids and their freedoms. I started smoking. But at the same time, I feared the outside world. I had been told that kids in pubic school are all on psychiatric drugs. And I knew that leaving the church would mean separating, or “disconnecting,” from my family; it would mean I was a flawed, dishonorable person. 

So, at age 14, I agreed to commit myself to the Sea Org. I attended a two-week boot camp called the Estates Project Force. There, from morning till night, I memorized Sea Org policy, performed chores such as emptying trash cans and polishing shoes, and eventually, signed the billion-year contract. 

People often married young within the Sea Org, as premarital sex was forbidden. I chose a husband at age 15, a 22-year-old named Jason Merrill. I was attracted to him and we had known each other for some time; we married in Las Vegas, with parental consent and a signed order from a judge, as I was underage.

We eventually settled into a small room at a Sea Org compound, and I accepted my fate—for the most part. Sometimes, I would sneak away at from bed at night and visit my father, and remember that outside world. He lived in a comfortable house and had a cat; visiting him felt like heaven. 

One of my first jobs as an official member of the Sea Org was in the security department, meaning I had to make sure people obeyed church rules and ethics. It seemed that people were always in some kind of trouble—the place felt ruled by fear. You could get in trouble for random things; for instance, someone might question why there were so many loose papers on your desk. Another thing you could get in trouble for: masturbation. Early on in my new job, I had to sit down with a man in his 40s who had admitted to masturbating, and tell him to cut it out. I was 15 years old. 

And then, I had an idea—a way out. I knew it meant separating from my family, and the thought of it tortured me.

A turning point came when I was 17. For reasons I do not know—perhaps money-related—members of the Sea Org were suddenly advised not to have children. We were told that a pregnant woman would be turned out of the organization. I felt shocked and betrayed; I had always wanted kids. A wave of depression set in. I felt I had utterly no freedom or control over my life. I worked round the clock; I was not allowed to go to school. I saw a dreary future unfolding.

 And then, I had an idea—a way out. I would secretly get pregnant. Maybe it could help me exit the organization without the usual routine: the relentless chastising, ostracizing, and auditing from superiors that often made people feel they should stay. I knew that leaving the Sea Org, or “blowing,” as it was called, meant separating from my family, and the thought of it tortured me, but my mother and sister had been transferred to Florida without me, and it had become increasingly difficult to visit my father. My family was already disjointed. I stopped taking my birth-control pills. I got pregnant. 

As I hid my pregnancy and dreamed of escape, I decided not to discuss it with the officials, but just to go. So, one morning in February 1998, I snuck off to my father’s house. My plan was to go from there to the airport, where I would fly to my aunt’s house in England. I didn’t tell my dad my ultimate plan, as I didn’t want to put him in a difficult position. I knew he would help me, but that the church would make my sister “disconnect” from him for doing so. 

At the airport, I remember looking around frantically, to see if anyone had followed. Indeed, someone had. I heard my brother, Matt, shout my name as I neared the security line. He was there with a Scientology security guard. I felt a searing pang of fear—and guilt. I didn’t want to get Matt and my mother in trouble for my escape, but I had to go. I ran from him and made it to the plane. 

In England, I was free—at least physically. Psychologically, I still felt connected to the church. Conflicting emotions tore me up inside. I didn’t want to be viewed as a negative “suppressive person” who had left the church without following procedure, abandoning my family. So, two months later, I went back to Los Angeles to go through an official “routing out” procedure. Essentially, this meant confessing all my bad deeds over and over again, and eventually signing a document saying I had had a wonderful experience in the Sea Org.

I got ushered out unusually quickly, due to my rebellious pregnancy. I received a bill for $89,000 for the Scientology classes I’d taken over the years. I filed for divorce from my husband, and moved in with my father. In September of 1998, I gave birth to my daughter, Kate. 

 I remember being amazed in those early days by the most simple of freedoms, like riding my bike around a nearby park. I felt so free. Even a trip to the grocery store made me happy—I could buy whatever food I wanted. I began working with my father in his architecture firm, and he literally saved me, offering his full support and helping me realize what an oppressive environment I had been in. He encouraged me to get my GED, take college classes, and pursue my architecture license. He did the same for my sister, swooping in to whisk her away from the Cadet Org in Florida.  

 I started speaking out about my experience in Scientology, talking to publications likeThe San Francisco Chronicle and Glamour magazine. My mother stopped communicating with me, as did my brother. I started a website with two friends, Ex-Scientology Kids, inviting others to share their stories. 

 Today, it has been 14 years since my escape. I live in L.A. and have my architecture license. I continue to work with my dad, designing buildings. My sister has graduated from Berkeley with honors. My daughter just finished middle school; I can’t believe her classes—biology, Spanish, geometry. I’d never had such classes myself; I’d never gone to middle school. My former husband has not kept in touch with either one of us.  

 I saw my mother two years ago, for the first time in a decade. Her sister, my aunt, had arranged the meeting, in the hopes that we could work things out. I can only describe seeing my mother after all those years as a strange and sad experience. She said she wanted to have a relationship with me, but that I needed to respect her beliefs. I said I could do that. I also said I wouldn’t stop talking publicly about my experience within the church. I have not heard from her since. 

 I never did pay that $89,000 Scientology bill. I received several follow-up letters about it in the years after my exit from the church. It took me a long time to gain my confidence, to feel like I was a part of normal society. It saddens me deeply that I have no relationship with my mother; I feel that she chose Scientology over her daughters.

At the same time, I’m proud to be where I am today. I had the courage to leave and to choose my own future. I appreciate my freedom in a way that some people might not be able to imagine. I hope Suri Cruise gets to appreciate hers.

Like The Daily Beast on Facebook and follow us on Twitter for updates all day long.

Abigail Pesta is an award-winning journalist who has lived and worked around the world, from New York to London to Hong Kong. Currently she is the editorial director of Women in the World at Newsweek and The Daily Beast. She is a former editor-at-large of Marie Claire magazine, and a former news editor at The Wall Street Journal in Hong Kong. She also has worked as an articles editor atGlamour, where she launched Mariane Pearl’s popular column about women changing the world. Abby writes short stories for her website, Fine Words Butter No Parsnips.

For inquiries, please contact The Daily Beast at editorial@thedailybeast.com.

The New Republic of Porn

2012-06-27T20:28:00.002-07:00

By Paul M. Barrett on June 21, 2012

Companies Mentioned

VRSN
VERISIGN INC
- $43.62 USD
- -0.14
- -0.32%
INTC
INTEL CORP
- $26.22 USD
- 0.21
- 0.82%
AAPL
APPLE INC
- $574.5 USD
- 2.48
- 0.43%
MCD
MCDONALD'S CORP
- $88.33 USD
- -0.77
- -0.87%
PEP
PEPSICO INC
- $69.75 USD
- 0.81
- 1.16%

Company Lookup

Stuart Lawley navigates Bear’s Club Drive in his midnight sapphire Rolls-Royce Phantom Coupé, a $464,000, 3-ton, 12-cylinder land yacht so well-engineered that ensconced in its butter-soft leather, one barely senses motion at all. Lawley docks gently at a French-style château adjacent to the 15th fairway of a luxuriant tropical Florida golf course designed by “the Golden Bear,” Jack Nicklaus. Celine Dion owns a place nearby, Lawley mentions. Michael Jordan is building on two lots just around the bend. Lawley’s one-story, five-bedroom, 9,300 square-foot stone manse has a perfectly green lawn made of plastic. “AstroTurf,” he confirms. “I rather like it.” The previous owner, an auto parts heiress, has moved to a larger spread elsewhere in the development. She was eager to sell, Lawley says. He offered $3.8 million, all cash, take it or leave it. She took it. There’s a catch, however: In early June, the homeowners’ association delayed the closing because some members were uneasy about Lawley’s occupation. “The neighbors are worried that a ‘big-time pornographer’ is moving in,” Lawley says. “Bollocks!”

Photograph by Colby Katz for Bloomberg Businessweek

The son of a municipal bus driver, Lawley grew up in Britain’s industrial West Midlands. By the time he was 37, he had made two decent-size fortunes selling fax machines and creating business-to-business websites. In 2000 he moved to the Bahamas to work on his golf swing and sidestep a $40 million tax bill. He does not consider himself a pornographer. “Until I invested in ICM Registry in 2003,” he explains, “I was like any other normal bloke. I had looked, furtively, at dirty websites maybe three or four or five times.”

These days, he owns ICM, a 12-person business in Palm Beach Gardens, Fla., that operates the top-level domain name “.xxx,” an alternative to “.com.” The domain is designed specifically to showcase pornography. On a wall of Lawley’s office on PGA Boulevard, the framed item bearing his company logo is an oversize cerulean-colored condom. ICM’s spokesmodel, the curvaceous Nina Mercedez, markets herself online as “THE HOTTEST LATINA in the XXX industry.” So, let’s be adult about it, in the words of ICM’s slogan, and stipulate that Lawley is in the porn business.

Assume you want to charge customers for videos and live webcam conversation featuring male-to-female transvestites. You could come up with a catchy name and buy an address ending in .com from GoDaddy or another website retailer. If you did, VeriSign (VRSN), a separate company based in Reston, Va., that operates the digital infrastructure for .com sites, would get a cut of your fee. In online argot, VeriSign is a “registry.” Lawley’s ICM is also a registry, and its .xxx sites are available via GoDaddy, too. As for the transvestite porn site, it’s called shemales.xxx, and it’s already been taken.

Since ICM went active last fall, online shingles have been hung for, among others, orgy.xxx, bollywood.xxx, and german-sex-portal.xxx. For several years, Mercedez, a former Miss Nude Universe, has run a cluster of .com sites. Lately she has also leased space at ninamercedez.xxx. If a potential fan Googles “Mercedes,” or “Mercedez,” “they’ll probably get cars or car parts,” she notes. If they want to see Nina Mercedez having sex, and they search for her name and .xxx, “they know they’re going to get porn.” Mercedez has built enough of a following that she shows up fairly high in search results anyway, but the ability to quickly find the porn you’re looking for is, in a nutshell, what the investment bankers would call Lawley’s value proposition.

Within the virtual realm made up of “top-level domains”—.com, .net, .org, .gov, .edu, and so forth—Lawley portrays .xxx as a responsibly run red-light district. Go there if you want wall-to-wall copulation of a decidedly unsentimental strain; stay away if you do not. The days of “Ding, dong, pizza delivery man …” porn with a goofy plot and two principals are fading. Much of what’s online now is Web-quick, more revolting than titillating, and involves a level of brutality one dearly hopes is feigned.

Not to worry, says Lawley. It’s all just fantasy for consenting adults. Parents can use free browser settings or commercially available software to block all .xxx sites. What’s more, he promises that on his domain, legitimate customers can indulge carnally without fear of credit-card fraud, viruses, or inadvertent encounters with illegal child porn. As part of the purchase price of a .xxx site, Lawley includes daily scans by the Internet security firm McAfee (INTC), ensuring that the sites are protected from scammers using porn as bait to steal personal information.

Next year, ICM plans to introduce a proprietary micropayment system. This service, Lawley promises, will help blue-chip pornographers fight back against the proliferation of free and pirated smut online. “We’re going to do for adult what Apple (AAPL) did for the music business with the iTunes store,” he predicts. Consumers who have become conditioned to grainy, poorly shot giveaways, Lawley says, will get reacclimated to paying for higher-quality hard core. Price, quantity, and specificity are key. Rather than the traditional model—$24.99 upfront for all-access monthly memberships—porn consumers will shell out 99¢ apiece for short clips of niche material (akin to buying a favorite song, not the whole album). Perhaps more compelling, people seeking porn on their mobile devices will have a convenient way to purchase a quickie on the run.

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Barrett, an assistant managing editor and senior feature writer atBloomberg Businessweek, is author, most recently, of GLOCK: The Rise of America’s Gun.