Sex and the Sushi

Caught Out There With The Sushi Girls™ – Episode 10

noreply@blogger.com (galaxyMafiaGlamourDivaMissSakamoto) — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 20:27:44 PST

I really debated posting this information. Not because I give a damn about the subject of this really juicy gossip but because I didn’t want to get all our Dear Readers excited, thinking we were back to blogging…because we aren’t! No this is just some really good gossip that I simply had to share with you! Unless you’ve already heard it then never mind. But for all of you who don’t know…THIS ONE’S FOR YOU BIOTCHES!

How many times do I have to say
To get away-get gone
Flip your shit past another lasses
Humble dwelling
You got your game, made your shot, and you got away
With a lot, but I'm not turned-on
So put away that meat you're selling
Cuz I do know what's good for me-
And I've done what I could for you
But you're not benefiting, and yet I'm sitting
Singing again, sing, sing again
How can I deal with this, if he won't get with this
M'I gonna heal from this; he won't admit to it
Nothing to figure out; I gotta get him out
It's time the truth was out that he don't give a
Shit about me
Get Gone - Fiona Apple

Are you ready? Okay…

Nonu got a baby ya’ll! Yes, THAT Nonu! No really, MA’A NONU of the 13-inch penis* and the 13-ounce brain** managed to get a woman pregnant! I know! I didn’t believe it when I read it either! But it’s so true! But wait, there’s more! The little bundle of sweetness and light is a BOY! God help him if he was born with his daddy’s eyebrows…but I digress…

But wait, there’s STILL more! The most shocking and inexplicable part of this whole sordid story is the incredible fact that the mother is NOT a white woman! No seriously yo! Not only is she not a white woman, she’s actually…get this…SAMOAN! To quote my source, who knew?! But more to the point, who would ever expect it? Lord knows the ‘Nesian brothas love themselves some white women! Unfortunately Nonu has already dumped her and moved on the next cum bucket…er, I mean Child of God. My guess is that he shut her down as soon as she told him she was in a gravid state! Which lead Ms. GD to postulate the following:

One day, nine months ago in Wellington, New Zealand in the parking lot of the local ghetto McDonald's at 9am on a Sunday morning just before church…

Unfortunate Samoan Lass: Hey Ma’a baby what’s up?
Nonu: [Ignores her and continues to talk to his boys about beer, sex, Hip Hop, sex, whiskey, sex, rugby, sex, corn beef and vodka…and sex]
USL: Ma’a please, I really need to talk to you!
Nonu: [Sighs heavily] What bitch!?
USL: I um, well you see Ma’a I um, well you remember two weeks ago when we were at your Mama’s house and I spent the night? You know, when she went to Auckland with your daddy and your brothers and your sisters and your nieces and your nephews and your cousins and your five play cousins and your Auntie Clarice who’s really not your Aunt but a family friend and…?
Nonu: Damn bitch is there a point in this shit?
USL: Well, um see we …
Nonu: Fucked! And?
USL: Okay yes but you said you didn’t have anymore condoms and I said I wasn’t on the pill and you said, “Well bitch I guess you better think positive thoughts ‘cause I’m ‘bout to nut” and…
Nonu: Bitch you fo real need to say what you wanna say! [Raises hand in classic pre-pimp slap formation]
USL: I’M PREGNANT!
Nonu: Bitch is this a muthafuckin hoaks?

Hey, you keep fucking you're bound to knock someone up, or get knocked up right? It was just a matter of time really. Soooooo – to totally misquote Beyoncé – He didn’t like it so he didn’t put a ring on it! [Everybody sing!] Wooohoh oh oh oh ohoh ah oh ohohoh!

Until next time Dear Readers!

Smooches,
Glamour Diva

P.S. Congratulations to Mils Muliaina and his thievin’ wife Haley! They are the proud parents of a bouncing baby something or other. Honestly I was too upset to give a good gotdamn! It’s over. Haley ain’t never leaving his tight, succulent little ass now! Sigh. Still no word on Tialata, Sally, Tialata’s trouser snake and the possibility of more ‘Nesian rugby babies. Sigh.

* That was for you gM! Luv ya!
**You see this is funny because the average human brain weighs about 3-pounds.

Don't be shy Dear Readers! If you have any gossip on any rugby player by all means drop us an email at rugbygossip@yahoo.com or Bebo and let us know. We don't discriminate, we'll take gossip on any player from any part of the world. Don't let the gossip die people!

Are we on vacation. . .?

noreply@blogger.com (galaxyMafiaGlamourDivaMissSakamoto) — Tue, 06 May 2008 22:14:04 PDT

Well, maybe you've noticed
Or maybe it's escaped your
attention
because it's focused elsewhere
but galaxyMafia hasn't been
writing much on this blog
and together, with her partner
Ms. GD, haven't been podcasting
for whatever reason
but gM has her theories
which probably won't even be
read but. . .
Everybody seems bored with rugby
nobody seems to care
Everybody's got a bad case of ennui
and the apathy is like a disease
because it's affecting me. . .
and besides, gM has other things
on her mind
lots of irons in the fire
not to mention
she's gotta deal with the fact
that the hottest guy she's seen
in a while she'll never see again.
*sigh*
How hot was he?
well, not that you asked
cause you could care less but
he made gM forget about her
sugar bear Tialata
oh well
and Ms. GD can speak
for herself but
she's preoccupied
so. . .
guess it's time to stick a
fork in this blog. . .
'cause it's DONE!
copyright. . .2008. . .you guys have a great life. Cya, gM!!

Hey Honey!!!!!!!!!!!!

noreply@blogger.com (galaxyMafiaGlamourDivaMissSakamoto) — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 07:49:01 PDT

Young, succulent chicken, just barely hatched!!!

copyright 2008. . .galaxyMafia

WTFH. . .?

noreply@blogger.com (galaxyMafiaGlamourDivaMissSakamoto) — Sun, 27 Apr 2008 21:07:51 PDT

galaxyMafia put this latest Tialata vid up on YouBoob, er Tube just a week ago and already close to 700 fools, ah, folks have looked at it. . .hmmmm? Usually, it takes a good six months to get that many hits for a vid of the fat, dark prop but, who knows, eh. . .? It's funny cause somebody only gave me 2 frickin' stars!!!!!!!!!

Anyhoo. . .here it is.
The song is "Feel like a woman" by MJ Blige

copyright 2008. . .galaxyMafia

Always cool. . .?

noreply@blogger.com (galaxyMafiaGlamourDivaMissSakamoto) — Wed, 16 Apr 2008 22:30:31 PDT

. . .hmmm, galaxyMafia thinks Mr. Tialata should replace "cool" with, oh perhaps. . ."fat and dark". . .? Just a suggestion. . .

Tialata's Revenge!!! (part deux)

noreply@blogger.com (galaxyMafiaGlamourDivaMissSakamoto) — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 13:45:57 PDT

Not that you give a ish but. . .when we last left our fat, dark antihero, he had just discovered www.sexandthesushi.blogspot.com, and he was pissed. Like, hands around Richie McCaw's neck pissed. And he vowed to get those Sushi b!tches!!!

In Tialata's Revenge, part 2, you'll find a new format (avec music. . .feelin' kinda French at the moment for some odd reason) and that our fat, dark antihero has come up with a diabiolical plot to put ya girls in tha dirt!!!!

And now, w/o further ado about nothing. . .

copyright 2008. . .galaxyMafia

And While We’re On The Subject Of Switching To League…

noreply@blogger.com (galaxyMafiaGlamourDivaMissSakamoto) — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 19:06:04 PDT

Okay so I know we weren’t really talking about actually switching to League, I mean we barely have enough time to cover a few Union games, but we would be remiss if we didn’t call your attention to a few Hot Like Fire Knife players on the other side of the rugby code fence! If you want to know the difference between Rugby League and Rugby Union click here. If you could care less and just want to drool over sexy ass men, keep reading. Oh and ladies…don’t forget your towels – GD

Ruben Wiki – NZ Warriors

And if the sexy photos weren’t enough, watch this hot video!

Roy Asotasi – Sidney Rabbitohs

We Hold These Truths To Be Self-Evident…

noreply@blogger.com (galaxyMafiaGlamourDivaMissSakamoto) — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 04:50:55 PDT

...That all men are created equal…but some are more deserving of a swift kick to the ass than others!

In this episode The Sushi Girls™ share their “Desire” to declare their independence and spill the truth about everything Super 14! Unfortunately, it is Glamour Diva’s job to write the descriptions of the shows and she hasn’t had the time to do it. Work has been kicking her ass lately and the impromptu road trip to Austin over the weekend didn’t help matters much. She has also embarked on an evening exercise regime, which leaves her tired, fat, old bones too exhausted to listen to two hours of silliness when she finally drags then into her house. And if that weren’t enough, the whole US Presidential Campaign ig’nance is very close to driving her insane! Soooooo…you’ll just have to listen to the whole damn thing if you want to know what’s up. But don’t you pout and don’t you fret, there is still plenty of fooliwang to go around…and much, much more!

Podcast Further Information

We Are Marshall

Pharoahe Monch – Desire

Mary J. Blige – Feel Like A Woman

Now without further ado, this week's podcast…

Warning: this podcast is definitely NOT SAFE FOR WORK so download our foolishness at your peril…

Crusaders Vs. Hurricanes – Commentary recorded Sunday, March 29

If the player doesn't work click here. (right click to download)

If you'd like to watch this game while listening to our commentary you may download it at Media Zone . Click on The Rugby Channel then choose the appropriate game.

Hate it or love it we want to hear from YOU! Send all your complements, questions, suggestions, and complaints to Ms. GD and gM at the_sushi_diaries@yahoo.com. If we really dig your comments we’ll give you a shout out during the next podcast!

Smooches,
Glamour Diva and galaxyMafia

Sweet Bush diss pic found here.

Tialata Candy. . .all off up in color this time, yo!!!

noreply@blogger.com (galaxyMafiaGlamourDivaMissSakamoto) — Mon, 31 Mar 2008 22:17:28 PDT

Here's galaxyMafia's latest foolishness. . .
And for those of you wondering what the song is, it's "Sell Me Candy" by Rihanna. . .

Lyrics below should explain why I picked it. . .other than the fact that I know Ms. GD will instantly fear and loathe it even though she ain't up in Vegas. . .(RIP Hunter Thompson!!!!!)

Sell Me Candy lyrics

[Verse 1]
Sell me candy like it’s summer when it’s melting in my hands
I know you’re around like the ice cream man
I can hear you calling, whisper something in my ear
You seem like sugar, tell me what I wanna hear
I’m weak by your touch and when it’s melting on my lips
I run through my body when you lick my fingertips
You’re selling me a fantasy that I want to explore
It sounds so good it’s got me rotten to the core

[Bridge:]

Talk to me
Take care of my dreams
All I need
Is you beside me
It’s destiny
Just let it be
If words can speak
Then baby sell it to me

[Chorus:]
Sell me candy, sell me love, sell me heaven, sell me doves
What’s the charge? What’s the cost?
(I’m the daddy)… you the boss.

[Verse 2]
You could be a professional, boy you make a sale
I try to resist but every time I fail
The one temptation that I gotta endure
The running through my body now you’re knocking at my door
A thin little kiss and your call is really sweet
But the shawty that you’re rocking is nothing like me
You’re selling me a fantasy that I want to explore
It sounds so good it’s got me rocking through the core (you know…)

[Bridge]
Talk to me
Take care of my dreams
All I need
Is you beside me
It’s destiny
Just let it be
If words can speak
Then baby sell it to me

[Chorus]
Sell me candy, sell me love, sell me heaven, sell me doves
What’s the charge? What’s the cost?
(I’m the daddy)… you the boss.

[Verse 3]
I wanna play… more than you know
So don’t you leave… and don’t you go
I want it all… until time falls
His arms… I want to roam
I want to love… give him my trust
I want to live… for both of us
I want to breathe you… lay on your shoulder
I want to warm you… when nights get colder
I want love… love… loveI want love… love… love

[Bridge]
Talk to me
Take care of my dreams
All I need
Is you beside me
It’s destiny
Just let it be
If words can speak
Then baby sell it to me

[Chorus]
Sell me candy, sell me love, sell me heaven, sell me doves
What’s the charge? What’s the cost?
(I’m the daddy)… you the boss.

Is There Anything Stronger Than Hail Maries And Our Fathers?

noreply@blogger.com (galaxyMafiaGlamourDivaMissSakamoto) — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 05:06:55 PDT

If anyone ever needed me it would be you two fools…

In this episode The Sushi Girls™ are “Lettin’ Go!” of all their decorum and good sense as they flagellate themselves with more Super 14! Grab your towels and your holy water as your girls: ponder the “’Nesian Grimace”, explore New Zealand’s bizarre immigration policies and the insanity that is NZ news, bemoan the introduction of the odious Masoe Cam in lieu of The Nonu Cam, muse on the utter hotness that is “Jose” Gear and his magnificent chesticles, lay out Warren Gatland’s deliciously evil plot to ruin the Chiefs, mull over the amount and texture of the pubic hair had by Jerry Collins and Neemia Tialata, discuss their plans to visit the new Tongan nature preserve at Dallas’ DFW Airport, debate the apparent nepotism of Tamiti Ellison and his bloated less cute brother Jacob and the dirtiest, filthiest, bawdiest most obscene sex talk yet! Oh, and much, much more!

Podcast Further Information

Crème de la Mer

Van Dyke Beard

Lamb Chomp

Brave New World by Aldous Huxley

Cheaters

The Wild Man of Borneo

Wolf Tales by Kate Douglas

Susan Johnson (Historic Romance Novelist)

Janelle Monáe – Lettin’ Go!

Bun B Feat. Sean Kingston – That’s Gangsta

Now without further ado, this week's podcast…

Brumbies Vs. Hurricanes – Commentary recorded Friday, March 21

If the player doesn't work click here. (right click to download)

If you'd like to watch this game while listening to our commentary you may download it at Media Zone . Click on The Rugby Channel then choose the appropriate game.

Hate it or love it we want to hear from YOU! Send all your complements, questions, suggestions, and complaints to Ms. GD and gM at the_sushi_diaries@yahoo.com. If we really dig your comments we’ll give you a shout out during the next podcast!

Smooches,
Glamour Diva and galaxyMafia

Sacred Heart of Jesus pic found here.

Desperate Hairstyles. . .WTFH!!!!!!!!!!!

noreply@blogger.com (galaxyMafiaGlamourDivaMissSakamoto) — Sun, 23 Mar 2008 16:20:40 PDT

Oops. . .he did it again.
And it looks as if he will continue to do it. . .over and over ad nauseum. Well, if you haven't yet seen it, and gM is sure you have, Sione, our very own Big Tongan, has changed his hair. . .yet again. First, he had the jacked up, Tongan-rigged braids that looked like Hame had done 'em. . .and now, he's gone and got himself a mohawk.

What's that sound, you ask. . .? Why, it's the hair folicles, screaming in torment and protest!!

Well, galaxyMafia doesn't know if Sione's new look is some sort of homage to Mr. T - he was born when the A-Team was on television - or if he's actually trying to be a damn American Indian. But, gM will tell you this, Sione. . .the Mohicans called, they want their hairstyle back!!

And you can rest well tonight knowing that this latest stunt pretty much guarantees that gM will not waste any more time creating stupid videos of your image set to music. . .*sigh*

copyright 2008. . .galaxyMafia

Rugby News Roundup

noreply@blogger.com (galaxyMafiaGlamourDivaMissSakamoto) — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 05:41:25 PDT

“Bored now. This is the part that's less fun. When there isn't any screaming.” – Willow in “The Wish” from Buffy the Vampire Slayer

What’s my “wish”? That the thrill ride that was Super 14 2005 would return and wake me from my Sleeping Beauty like slumber. Or, if that’s too tall an order for the rugby gods to fill, I request that they kick South Africa, Australia and New Zealand in the ass and out of their Snow White like repose so I can, to quote Madonna, justify my love of this game! Jeez Louise I don’t think I can take much more of this! And I thought the World Cup was lame? At least there was a shock ending (AB’s losing in the quarterfinals), questionable coiffures (Michalak’s flocked wallpaper hair and Tonga not being allowed to die their hair green) and rags to riches performances (Argentina and Fiji) to break the monotony! But this tired shit here…I think I’m gonna take a page from Piri Weepu and Ma’a Nonu’s coloring book and threaten to switch to League if the level of play doesn’t get any damn better. Seriously Dear Readers…UGH!

more at twiigs.com...

The following are a list of old stories I found utterly preposterous but never got around to posting because of my serious lack of gumption so enjoy! – GD

Jesus Take The Wheel!
I know this is old news but it bears repeating…
Shut Up Jerry! And further more, kiss my black media ass! Stop whining like a bitch and play! If you don’t want the media in your business then stop playing rugby. That’s all there is to it really, become an anonymous, boring citizen or be a man and suck it up!

You can’t handle the rugby you have now!
Australia wants an expanded Super Rugby franchise which is great for them but unless they spike New Zealand’s water supply with Zoloft, give all the players adamantium skeletons and delete the Air New Zealand Cup from the rugby calendar, this shit will never fly! But who knows, some folk want this and some don’t so we’ll see if John O'Neill gets his way.

Do these men have parents or did they sprout up out of a landfill?
This is just so sad. The fact that this type of shit is needed says way more about our sporting culture as a whole then about the players individually. And this guy agrees with me! But I love this quote though:

The point the AFL is trying to make is that young men come into football and they go from the year before not being able to get a date for the social to suddenly half the nightclubs throwing themselves at them.

Indeed (I hope you’re reading this Nonu…)! But if this is what it takes to keep their asses out of court and free of STI’s then so be it! Can we get this program in the US?

The AFL should send a free DVD to this guy!
Poor Leroy Houston. Read his sad tale of ignorance, inexperience and stupidity. Then weep for his banishment to the worst team in Australia.

And I thought the Bulls' Cheerleaders were skanks!
Call me old fashioned, call me a prude but there’s just no cause for all this boobage, public stripping off of clothing and booty shorts (lingerie!) that barely cover the pubis as well as the crack of the ass! The Shark’s cheerleaders are on some straight hoochie shit fo reals yo! These South African folk are a trip!

And In 6 Nations News…
They won't be able to tell Gatland nothing now!
WALES WON! WALES WON! WALES WON! Charlotte Church and her boobs came out to support her man, Gavin Henson, and everybody had a grand old time! YAY!

Now instead of blowing all that tournament money on booze and prostitutes (Cause you know that’s what they’re gonna do), the whole Welsh National Team should head down to their local cosmetic surgeon/dentist/hairstylist and finally get all that tremendous fug worked on! Seriously!

Have you seen these guys? Save for one man, they all look like they fell from the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down! Is busted-upness a prerequisite for playing on the team? It would seem so according to their current roster of Quasimodo’s!

There are some beautiful people in Wales but this team…Lord this team…is sooooo not reflective of that fact! As the folk over in the UK say…bless their little cotton socks!

And finally…
Why was this fool on that show in the first place? But still, nothing can be as embarrassing as being a rugby star with fat paper stacks and still living at home with your mother! I don’t care if your crib is worth a cool £1million; your MOTHER is in the house with you which, last time I checked, was enough to get you banned from the Ballers and Shot Callers Club for life!

galaxyMafia's in-laws. . .

noreply@blogger.com (galaxyMafiaGlamourDivaMissSakamoto) — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 12:43:35 PDT

. . .just a few pics from the (maybe) soon-to-be fam. . .

Rugby News Roundup

noreply@blogger.com (galaxyMafiaGlamourDivaMissSakamoto) — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 05:33:28 PDT

YAWN!

Is this year’s Super 14 boring the shit out of you too? My computer was so bored it completely shut down. Seriously, she went to sleep Thursday night and didn’t wake up until sometime Sunday afternoon. I tried shoving her but she wouldn’t budge. So I just left her the fuck alone because, quite honestly, I felt her pain. But then my iPod, in a show of solidarity, decided to take an extended nap too and that was where I had to draw the line! Email and rugby shit I can live without but a weekend without music is a fate worse than death! Fortunately Mr. iPod decided to rise and shine this morning just before I left for work…typical male… - GD

Full On Fooliwang
Damnit Nonu! Damnit Jerry!
Somebody check on Nonu! What the hell is wrong with the boy? And what the fuck is going on with Jerry? Check on JC too while you at it! I would say they both need to calm down and maybe relax, have a drink and get laid but we all know lack of alcohol and sex is the least of their problems! Maybe Nonu is acting all discombobulated because of something I know which I can’t say anymore about because I’ve been sworn to secrecy? And maybe all the baby drama is finally getting to Jerry and he had to take it out on nigga’s face?

You didn’t ask for my opinion Nonu but uh…you need to check yo self before ya wreck yo self! Jerry will be on the next All Black’s squad no matter what but your spot, as you well know, is a bit more tenuous. Have you seen the opinion polls? When I took it most people thought you’d never see another black jersey unless you bought it your -damn-self! If you’re not going to show Graham Henry your peepee you best get you act together Bruv. Oh well, nigga has yet to listen to a word I say so…WHATEV!

Just look a him ya’ll! Sittin’ in the sin bin lookin’ like butter wouldn’t melt. Oooooo LAWD!

That’s not why they suck!
I wish The Highlanders’ terrible game play could be blamed on bad hair but if we followed that logic every NZ rugby team would suck! Oh wait; they did lose the World Cup so I guess they may have a freakin point! Kudos to the NZ public for finally recognizing how shitty that shaved, mullet mess is although you left it a bit late don’t you think?

Bitch And Moan, Bitch And Moan!
I don’t know who this Kronfeld dude is but he makes an interesting assessment! Check out the quote below regarding the recent rule changes:

I think it is shit, I think it is absolute crap personally

Indeed! If the Hurricanes’ current lackluster performance on the pitch is any indication then old, angry dude has a point. However, SHUT UP! If the IRB wanted your opinion you’d be on the next plane to Dublin, Ireland but as it stands you are sitting in Dunedin, New Zealand eating meat pies like you NZers love to do! If anyone has a right to complain it’s me and galaxyMafia; we’re the ones who have to struggle to make this shit funny! Get your priorities straight and chill out before that vein in your neck pops…fo reals homie!

Bits And Pieces
Gatland stands on his Wales record and stands by the new asshole he ripped for New Zealand. I ain’t mad atcha boy!

Troy Flavell heads back to Japan after Super 14…and who among us besides Cécile really gives a damn? Yes, that’s what I thought…

The Chiefs are doomed and that’s all there is to it!

Nucifora has yet to buy a clue, even after getting his ass kicked in South Africa…

Richie, DC and Co. have way too much time on their hands and not enough razor blades!

I admit the NFL and the NBA have irrevocably spoiled me but in this situation imitation is not the sincerest form of flattery – it’s a fucking insult! Check out these so called cheerleaders in all their denim, cutoff booty shorts and horrendous dance moves glory!

Super 14 week three slideshow featuring: Sione getting his pants pulled down, Nacewa getting crushed to death, Mose perfecting his Heisman trophy stance with his sexy afro, Hurricane hug fest, Ig’nant Highlanders mascot and all up betwixt Richie’s legs. Listen to the commentary if you like but I suggest hitting the mute button.

And In Six Nations News…

I am so damn happy for Scotland, really I am, but shit if the English peeps aren't being hard on poor Jonny! He got the top scoring record ya’ll give him a break! It’s okay pookie toot, you’ll get’em next year!

Irelands scrappy little leprechauns could not out scrap Wales and were therefore sent home.

France poured Hollandaise all in Italy’s Marinara and that shit tasted just as good as it sounds! UGH!

C.R.U.S.H. on Neemia

noreply@blogger.com (galaxyMafiaGlamourDivaMissSakamoto) — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 18:53:24 PDT

. . .well, galaxyMafia was bored again, and decided to fool around with some footage of the mammoth prop. . .

copyright 2008. . .galaxyMafia

But Alas, A Damn Would Not Be Given This Night

noreply@blogger.com (galaxyMafiaGlamourDivaMissSakamoto) — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 20:57:02 PDT

In this episode The Sushi Girls™ give the “Green Light” to their apathy towards the Super 14! Experience the ennui as your girls: chat about Jonah Lomu’s “Lame Report”, ponder the possibilities of a Sione Lauaki without genitals, guess what flavor the teat milk of various players would be if they had teat milk, suffer Glamour Diva’s advice to UK soccer WAGs and boppers worldwide, chew over the fooliwang that is Piri Weepu’s new hairstyle, testify to the savagery of Conrad Smith’s orthodontia, calculate galaxyMafia’s mathematical Match Report, encounter the fug that is Chris Masoe and his stupid facial expressions, cheer the return of the ubiquitous Nonu Cam and much, much more!

Podcast Further Information

Alexyss K. Tylor

Richard "Dimples" Fields

The Song of Hiawatha by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Bergamot and Sulfur 8 Hair Dressing

Renaldo "Skeets" Nehemiah

Xaviera Hollander

Iceberg Slim

Tooth Disorders

Beyonce – Green Light

Body Head Bangerz – I Smoke, I Drank

Now without further ado, this week's podcast…

Chiefs Vs. Hurricanes – Commentary recorded Friday, February 29

If the player doesn't work click here.

If you'd like to watch this game while listening to our commentary you may download it at Media Zone . Click on The Rugby Channel then choose the appropriate game.

Hate it or love it we want to hear from YOU! Send all your complements, questions, suggestions, and complaints to Ms. GD and gM at the_sushi_diaries@yahoo.com. If we really dig your comments we’ll give you a shout out during the next podcast!

Smooches,
Glamour Diva and galaxyMafia

In Other Hot Boy News...

noreply@blogger.com (galaxyMafiaGlamourDivaMissSakamoto) — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 10:49:58 PST

So full disclosure, I’m not really feeling Prince Harry (He's gM's boo). In fact, I don’t really feel any royals that came after Prince Edward VIII abdicated the British throne to marry Wallis Simpson. No, the golden age of Royals Behaving Badly has long since passed…sigh. But I do, however, feel hot shirtless redheads playing rugby and that is precisely what young Harry is doing…in Afghanistan no less! By now I’m sure you’re read how he was all deep undercover in The ‘Stan playing soldier and how the press dropped a dime on his ass so he had to hop a jet and get his royal self back to London right fast and in a hurry before Granny (AKA Queen Elizabeth II) had a coronary!

Well now that he’s back you will begin to see many pictures like the ones below so enjoy! Although, this whole thing seems so damn surreal to me! Intellectually speaking I know royals have been participating in (And starting/sanctioning) wars for centuries but this is just so damn peculiar to me! And what about this whole veil of secrecy thing too?!? I could argue that this is the whole problem with royalty in the modern age and a prime example of why ALL royalty should be eradicated but I won’t go there.

Let’s just take this time to remember all our service people from all over the world who aren’t royalty and are therefore forced to stay in their respective warring communities until they die or are finally allowed to come home to the families that love and miss them. And while we’re at it, let us also take an additional moment to think about the futility of war in general and the insanity of this current war in particular!

And when you’re done reflecting on the futility and insanity of humans killing other humans for fun and profit, pick up a newspaper, magazine, book or click on the myriad internet sites available and arm yourself with information which you will in turn take to the polls this November (Or Tuesday March 4 if you’re in Texas like me) and cast your vote to bring all our soldiers home. End Of Sermon. - GD

Pics courtesy of WENN

Portrait of the rugby superstar as an a$$hole. . .

noreply@blogger.com (galaxyMafiaGlamourDivaMissSakamoto) — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 05:38:37 PDT

galaxyMafia is sure you know by now that, after months of hemming and hawing, Jonah Lomu and his wife, Fiona, have finally stopped pretending that their marriage isn’t shot to hell, and have admitted, through their rep, that they’ve stuck a fork in their four-year union because it’s done.
The end of the Lomus’ marriage is no breaking news flash (but just in case you haven’t heard, you can read it for yo’self). Jonah Lomu’s actions of late have spoken louder than the “I-don’t-comment-on-my-personal-life” spiel he’s been spouting 24/7 on a continuous loop.

First, Lomu moved out of the Auckland mansion he shared with wife Fiona.
(Although, at a value of $1.35 million dollars, it would struggle to be listed as a two-bedroom house in California or New York. To call it a mansion in those upscale markets would be quite charitable but, galaxyMafia digresses. . .)

Second, Lomu got a new girlfriend.

It was pretty clear, then, that Lomu, who some say is the most recognized rugby star in the world (whatever the hell that means), had raised up outta that bitch. Literally, and, ahem, figuratively. . .

And that’s when Lomu’s shit really started to stink.

Thing is, galaxyMafia really doesn’t have a problem with Lomu moving on. Because that’s what n!ggas do. They break up with one girl, and quickly move to the next one, with no provocation or preamble. And, unfortunately, n!ggas often move on to the next chick even if they have not entirely, with clear and convincing undisputed evidence, extricated themselves from a previous relationship. Yes, that’s tacky and immature and unnecessary because it really don’t take all that but. . .that’s n!ggas for you.

What galaxyMafia has a problem with is Jonah Lomu’s choices.

Selfish, unsympathetic, pugnacious choices which have led him to behave like a seething, unrepentant heathen. . .

You see, Mr. Lomu, apparently without any shame or remorse, has begun a new relationship with the wife of another man. . .and Mr. Lomu himself is still married. . .

galaxyMafia must tell you that she doesn’t know Mr. Lomu personally. She doesn’t know what kind of man he is, and she is not privy to his side of this tacky, sad, ghetto story. But, galaxyMafia has to wonder what kind of man, who purports to be a role model for young athletes, would so blatantly violate and spit upon the sanctity of holy matrimony, what kind of guy would enter into an adulterous relationship with a casual shrug of his shoulders?

What the hell kind of person is Mr. Lomu. . .?

He turns his back on his wife, Fiona, and cheats on her, the woman who stuck by him when he was literally facing death. But for a kidney transplant, Mr. Lomu might be dead now. Does Mr. Lomu thank God for Fiona, who clearly took seriously the vows to love him “In sickness and in health”? Does Fiona’s loyalty to him during that crises mean shit to Lomu? Now that Mr. Lomu is well, are all bets off? Does he think he cheated death so he can do whatever the fuck he wants to whomever he wants? Does he really think he will not have to stand before the Lord and give account of his behavior? We will all have to do that, whether you believe it or not, and Mr. Lomu will not be excused because he’s some supposed rugby superstar.

But, galaxyMafia can’t, and won’t blame it all on Mr. Lomu. Cliché but true, it takes two to make a thing go right, and galaxyMafia must place blame on Jonah’s new girl, Nadene Quirk.

If you’ve read anything about Nadene, you know she’s a smart, successful, accomplished young woman. Indeed, the New Zealand government has even enlisted her to be a role model for young women. Nadene has her own business, she’s moderately attractive and lives an exciting life.

Ten months ago, she also became what many women would kill to be – a brand, spanking new bride. She and Jarek Goebel were married, took vows before God and their family. But, obviously, something went wrong. galaxyMafia doesn’t profess to know what went sour in Nadene’s and J’s relationship. As galaxyMafia said, there are so many sides to every story. Perhaps, Nadene and Jarek were unevenly yoked to begin with, so their relationship never would have worked. Or, maybe, Nadene and J felt pressured to get hitched. Maybe they just couldn’t get along, and couldn’t make it work.

Or, maybe, when Jonah Lomu stepped to Nadene, she saw it as an opportunity she just couldn’t pass up, J be damned.

Because galaxyMafia figures that if every little ‘Nesian boy dreams of growing up and being an All Black then every little New Zealand girl’s fantasy is to marry or date or screw an All Black.

Of course, Jonah Lomu isn’t an All Black. But he was. One of the very damn best. And Jarek Goebel. . .well, he’s not even on the Blues team yet. . .just a shadow player, and who knows if he’ll be picked for the team and well. . .

Kinda, sorta makes you see Nadene’s dilemma, huh?

On the one hand, there’s the rugby superstar. And on the other, there’s a guy who looks up to said superstar, who may or may not be a rugby superstar himself one day.
And with Lomu’s marriage to Fiona heading into the ditch, Nadene told J adios, cholo. . .and walked out on her marriage, seemingly with no regret.

galaxyMafia must admit, Jonah’s and Nadene’s selfish actions are repugnant but, even more than that, gM is discouraged by their behavior. . .

What was the purpose of throwing Fiona and J under the bus? What does it profit Jonah or Nadene to cheat on their respective spouses so unabashedly? Now, Fiona is devastated and embarrassed. J is simply gutted. Nadene’s hasty departure from the life they should have lived until death do them part shocked and destroyed him. And Jonah and Nadene, who are apparently looking for a new house, can’t really enjoy their new relationship because everywhere they go, some reporter is asking them about the circumstances surrounding their coupling. And what was that posturing with Jonah and Nadene showing up at a Blues practice? When J saw them there together, he was decimated. Why would they do that? So Jonah could show his ass and reveal just how much of a stupid Tongan n!gga he is? Why would Nadene go along with Jonah’s Neanderthal tomfoolery? Later, she admitted it was awkward. Really, bitch, ya think?

galaxyMafia can’t help but think that all of this could have been avoided if Jonah and Nadene had divorced their spouses, and then entered into a relationship. But, it seems to be a case of two selfish people who want what they want when they want it and damn everything else to hell. . .

Well, Jonah and Nadene. . .pray, pray that you don’t end up there yourselves.

copyright 2008. galaxyMafia

Come Back To The World Rugby Pitch, Ben Cohen, Ben Cohen

noreply@blogger.com (galaxyMafiaGlamourDivaMissSakamoto) — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 19:21:48 PST

What is it about hot men snuggling cute babies that makes women weak in the knees? I was surfing the UK news today and found this adorable pic of rugby star and all around Hot Piece of Rugby Trash Ben Cohen MBE with one of his precious twin girls, little Isabelle! So a little background on the pic – As part of a campaign to raise awareness of the issues facing new fathers, Ben was asked to recreate a famous poster from the 1980’s. I think he and Isabelle did a fantastic job!

The original version can be found here.

I’m normally not a fan of the chest hair but Ben somehow makes it work. Sigh. When Mr. Cohen isn’t making ladies and gentlemen drool he divides his time between furthering his rugby career with French team CA Brive, spending time with his young family and spearheading charitable events. - GD

Update: I received a "cease and desist" email which states:

Subject: Editorial information re:Ben Cohen Feature.
Date: Fri, 29 Feb 2008 11:18:03 -0000
From: Rebecca Gobel
To: the_sushi_diaries@yahoo.com

Hi

I saw the image of Ben that has appeared on your website. We are really glad that you are featuring the lovely image!

We work on this campaign and I just wanted to get in touch with you regarding a kind request we hope you will honour.

We would rather that the images that you have found on the problem shared website – the extra images from the shoot, are taken down… as we have only allowed for the Ben’s Athena Pose image to be released.

We really appreciate your co-operation on this issue.

Very best wishes,
Rebecca Gobel

Pegasus Public Relations Ltd  
Ridgeworth House 
Liverpool Gardens 
Worthing West Sussex BN11 1PX
t 01903 821550
f 01903 821552 
www.pegasuspr.co.uk

Can you believe this shit? Why would a big time PR firm waste their time telling me to remove three photos from my tiny blog? Three photos that anyone can Google and COPY directly from the website? It’s not like I said I took the pictures of Ben and his kids! I think they just want everyone to go out to the website where the pictures are held and READ about the program (Not that anyone outside the UK cares) so they can tell their client how many hits from all over the world they got and therefore how much they are worth the huge price the client paid for their services! WHATEV! So If you didn’t get a chance to copy the pics from my slide show, send me an email and I’ll forward them to you…

A few of my favorite photos of Ben

Ben, his underwear and his treasure trail promoting prostate cancer awareness

Silence Is Golden…Unless You Have Something To Say

noreply@blogger.com (galaxyMafiaGlamourDivaMissSakamoto) — Thu, 28 Feb 2008 05:11:13 PST

Today I was checking out Site Meter when I noticed an interesting development. Every few months The Sushi Girls™ receive an anonymous comment from a woman, presumably, somewhere in South Africa claiming to be the as yet unknown girlfriend/secret lover/significant other/piece of ass/ride or die bitch of the heavily tattooed Samoan winger and former Hurricane Lome Fa’atau.

Now as many of you know Mr. Fa’atau is currently linked to a woman named Rachel who, last I heard, left Wellington and the life she once knew to follow him to Scotland where it appears he has failed to make much of an impression on the good people of Glasgow as well as his team, The Glasgow Warriors. So you can understand our…interest…when Ms. Anonymous first popped up, telling us she knew the real deal about Lomz. We thought Ms. Anonymous would eventually come forward and send us a long and detailed email on all the finer points of their tawdry affair but such an email was never forthcoming.

No Dear Readers it seems Ms. Anonymous is content with sending us periodic comments hinting at what a fantastic cocksman Lome is and how foolish Rachel is for thinking she owns his heart…and his cock.

Well Ms. Anonymous I am here to tell you that we are not amused!

Listen girlfriend, if you insist on turning up like a bad penny every three months then so be it; we can’t stop you. But if you have something to say, which you obviously do because you keep coming back and commenting on the same posts over and over again, we’d appreciate you saying it or put us all out of our misery and just go away!

Won’t you try to see this from our point of view Dear Ms. Anonymous? Just say you know someone that every so often runs up to you and screams, oh I don’t know, something like, “I know where there’s a cache of Nazi gold!”

I can’t be 100% on this but I think your instinct might be to either ignore the person altogether (Because telling a complete stranger something so amazing seems almost as crazy as the Nazi who originally stole the gold) or to simply ask the screamer where the secret cache is (Still thinking they must be crazy of course but hey, you like adventure so whatev...). Now if after telling you this piece of news and having you do/say one of the things mentioned above, the screamer were to look around furtively then run away screaming never to return…until three months later screaming the exact same thing with the exact same furtive looks and running away and screaming…wouldn’t you find that odd and tremendously annoying?

Well that’s the place we are currently squatting in Ms. Anonymous! We love all our Dear Readers, even the annoying ones, but enough is enough! This affair with Mr. Fa’atau is wrecking havoc on your psyche and your refusal or inability to share the nasty details is testing our patience. So, as my Grandmother used to say, either piss or get off the pot Ms. Anonymous! Purge yourself of this awesome burden or stop screaming at us about Lome’s golden tongue! If we could reveal our sources they would tell you that we are excellent secret keepers so if it’s your identity you’re concerned about you really shouldn’t let that trouble you Ms. Anonymous. Also, neither Rachel nor Lome reads this blog so what the fuck right? I mean, if they did you’d be so busted anyway because you’ve already said in your comments that you’re a) blond, b) South African, and c) fucking Lome. If you’re still doing him that means that both he and Rachel are still blissfully unaware. What have you got to lose baby?

But if you’re still timid about revealing more information I will tell you how to get in contact with us AND keep your anonymity:

1. Get an anonymous email account (Hotmail, Yahoo! Mail, GMail, etc.)
2. Copy this email address – the_sushi_diaries@yahoo.com
3. Open your new email account and paste our email address into the “To:” section
4. In the body of the open email, pour out your little heart to The Sushi Girls™ (Including what city in South Africa you currently reside so we can match this against Site Meter and keep the wannabes away)

If after doing this you find yourself feeling frisky please include any and all photo evidence you might have of Lome Fa’atau in flagrante delicto as well as any photos of yourself because you may very well be blond and petite but you know good and damn well you don’t look a thing like Kate Hudson so don’t even go there girlfriend! I hope this helps and stay blessed!

Smooches,
Ms. GD

Update: Someone claiming to be Ms. Anonymous reared her delusional head but alas, she didn't write anything I was interested in reading (such as FACTS about her supposed relationship with Lome) and she didn't do it where I asked her to (In my email) so I deleted her comment and will continue to delete them until she buys a clue. Peddle your wares elsewhere Dear Ms. Anonymous. And oh yes...this is me being nice... - GD

DESPERATE HAIRSTYLES: The Comic Strip

noreply@blogger.com (galaxyMafiaGlamourDivaMissSakamoto) — Mon, 25 Feb 2008 21:50:27 PST

Well, galaxyMafia is sorta kinda gettin' the hang of this comic strip tomfoolery. . .

Rugby News Roundup

noreply@blogger.com (galaxyMafiaGlamourDivaMissSakamoto) — Mon, 25 Feb 2008 15:04:08 PST

Zzzzzzzzz. Snore. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…Snort!

Oh goodness! Didn’t see you there! I was just going over the Super 14 news and must have dozed off there for a second. Yawn! No, don’t worry, I’m awake now. YAWN!

Okay so what’s going on? Not much really…at least not anything I feel I can get too excited about. I like this cutie cartoon though. The Hurricanes were pretty hopeless during their first game...and not much better during the second…so I feel this ‘toon is quite apropos indeed! There were some other items that caught my eye before I drifted off and they are as follows:

Talkin’ Mo Shit Then A Little Bit!
Boy HUSH!
Did someone snatch New Zealand’s lollipop? Does the baby need its bottle or a nice long nap? I can’t believe anyone in NZ would have the unmitigated gall to snap on any South African team! Talk about HATERATION! Even though Nucifora sounds like he’s being gracious I can read between the lines. Please don’t go there Nuc or I shall be forced to go there and no one wants that! Especially not all your players who were on the LOSING World Cup squad as well as that curly headed, half Tongan jumping on cars and causing a commotion all up in London! Yes that’s what I thought…

Oh no he didn’t! But I’m so happy he did…
You see the Sushi Girls™ aren’t the only ones who know the real deal yo! Warren Gatland, current Wales coach and likely NZ ex-pat (And current inhabitant of Graham Henry’s shit list), had this to say about New Zealand, New Zealanders and NZ rugby:

Like Scott Johnson (former Wales skills coach) said, we are just a couple of poxy islands in the Pacific. New Zealanders who haven't traveled [sic] think we make a difference in the world. We don't make a squat of difference. Our views politically aren't important; nobody takes notice of us.

Oooooooooooo LAAAAAAWD! Has he been listening to our podcasts?!?!? I feel you Gatland but you best watch ya back son! Kiwis are a sensitive, albeit self-destructive, lot.

Now If They Could Just Put All That Energy Into Something Useful
I guess this could be interesting but...

I’m thrilled for Asia, really I am, but I don’t think I’d be too interested in seeing this! Would you?

BBbbbbbbb

Worst. Idea. EVER!

Someone tell me how this is any fucking different from the World Cup? UGH!

And In 6 Nations News…
Italy wears “The Scarlet L” on their beautiful blue jerseys this week! Wales smelled Italia’s desperation and laughed all the way over the try line! Mauro Bergamasco must have caught a HUGE whiff of himself which most likely led to his sexy ass being sin-binned for numerous and flagrant infractions. Poor baby…

JWil breaks records as well as hearts – France’s heart to be exact! You know, he seems like such an earnest and sweet young man. Which is why I can’t wait for the tell-all exclusive about all his deviant ways that is sure to rumble our way very soon!

Ireland broke out their shillelaghs and spanked Scotland like the naughty little boys they are! In related news, sales of Guinness reached an all-time high Saturday night! - GD

In Other Hot Boy News...

noreply@blogger.com (galaxyMafiaGlamourDivaMissSakamoto) — Thu, 21 Feb 2008 10:37:25 PST

So what are some of your favorite non-rugby/non-NFL hot boys up to? Well from the looks of things not a whole hell of a lot! But it really doesn’t matter because all we care about is how hot they are thus the title of this post!

The Smile That Launched A Thousand Orgasms
Oh dear A.C. Slater you are just the most adorable smoochie face! I swear I could just dive right into those dimples and drown in your exquisite cuteness! Dancing with the Stars did nothing for your career but so what? You’re hosting some crazy dance show on MTV and working on replacing Dean Cain as the king of Lifetime Movie Network. No hate here Mario…nuthin but love…

Adios Chulo! Mario Lopez pics found here.

Don’t Talk, Just Listen
No seriously, don’t talk! Hearing you speak would only make our coochies dry and who among us want’s that? But let’s not dwell on your hideous girlie voice. We shall endeavor to put that out of our minds and focus on your chiseled abs! Mmmmmm…yeessssssss…

We see you too Becks! Beckham pics found here.

And The Battle Rages On
In this corner wearing el traje de Charro we have the young upstart Alejandro Fernández! He comes from a long line of sexy Mexicanos – Papá Vicente Fernández has been knockin’em dead with his tight ass Charro suits and pencil mustache for over forty years – so you know he ain’t no punk!

Alejandro pics found here.

And in this corner wearing classic denim is Rock and/or Roll legend Chubby Checker! He may have thirty years on El pequeño Fernández but he also has experience on his side – this ain’t his first rodeo yo! He’s been working those tight ass pants since tight ass pants were invented in the 60’s! And dancing in those bad boys too! Check out those Cat Daddy boots ya'll!

Chubby pics found here.

So Dear Readers, who wins this round? Age and experience over sexy, young hotness? YOU MAKE THE CALL! The winner will receive an industrial size tube of jock itch cream and a nice pair of loose fitting, old school boxers. - GD

Whoever Invented Clippers Should Be Sainted!

noreply@blogger.com (galaxyMafiaGlamourDivaMissSakamoto) — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 17:40:31 PST

Looks like brother Eaton FINALLY did something ‘bout his head! Yes I know he was looking like the Shaggy D.A. for charity but seriously people, a year’s worth of new, untamed hair growth will only ever be good for charitable purposes…or Beyonce’s hair weave. I’m just saying!

Behold, the freshly shorn and baby faced Jason Eaton!

And if you’re curious about how he got to that point, check this out:

And if you’re still in complete and utter shock over how much Mrs. Eaton’s baby boy has changed you can check out the cutie video here.

Now if we can just do something about the wonky front tooth and the adult acne I will feel so much better about this whole situation. You know I love you Jas but um…you need to do a much better job of preserving ya sexy baby boy! Na-mean? - GD

We Heard You Missed Us! We’re Back!

noreply@blogger.com (galaxyMafiaGlamourDivaMissSakamoto) — Sun, 24 Feb 2008 20:02:17 PST

In this episode The Sushi Girls™ party like it’s “Space: 1999” in honor of the return of the Super 14! Giggle with glee as your girls cheer the return of the wonderful Waratahs and their warrior ways, explore Tialata’s apparent genetic predisposition for being a fat ass, introduce galaxyMafia’s new Celebrity Impersonation Match Report, analyze the plight of the Aborigine people, confer about why NZ rugby players conceal their spouses from public view and why they’d never get away with that in the US, consider the continuing horribleness of the Hurricanes hairstyles, ponder Glamour Diva’s peculiar elation at the return of Jason Eaton, chew over the bountifulness of no-neck jokers on the Waratahs side, discuss the ever-present Nonu Cam and the impracticality of owning a Nonu in the first place, the Nesian’s continued infatuation with blond hair dye and buckets of KFC, chat about Piri Weepu’s “Lame Report” and much, much more!

Podcast Further Information

Lone Wolf and Cub

Zatoichi

Space 1999 Intro

Timbaland – Kill Yourself

Gnarls Barkley – Run

Now without further ado, this week's podcast…

Waratahs Vs. Hurricanes – Commentary recorded Sunday, February 17

If the player doesn't work click here.

If you'd like to watch this game while listening to our commentary you may download it at Media Zone . Click on The Rugby Channel then choose the appropriate game.

Hate it or love it we want to hear from YOU! Send all your complements, questions, suggestions, and complaints to Ms. GD and gM at the_sushi_diaries@yahoo.com. If we really dig your comments we’ll give you a shout out during the next podcast!

Smooches,
Glamour Diva and galaxyMafia