marriage 300

Cleave Unto Each Other

2016-12-07T18:16:00.000-08:00

The first reading was my favorite this week, titled “Chapter 37: Creating Healthy Ties with In-Laws and Extended Families” written by James M. Harper and Susanne Frost Olsen.

The main idea through the reading was based off the words found in Genesis 2:24, which read, “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.”

I thought it was cool in the reading when it said that to cleave is not only to live in the same home together, but to stick together through anything and everything-- to cling to one another. This can be a hard concept to initiate into a new marriage, especially if one or both spouses are close with their parents. The reading talked about how it can be especially hard for daughters who are close to their mothers and vice versa.

My mom has always been my best friend, so this part stuck out to me. I have made it a point through my 3.5 years of marriage thus far though, to be sure I am putting my husband first. He is my ultimate best friend, and he is who I get to be with for eternity. I think having close relationships with your parents can be one of the biggest blessings in life, and I feel incredibly grateful that I get to be so close to my mom. It does take adjusting though and a little re-working in the mind to make your natural reactions of telling your parents something first, to that becoming your spouse first.

Parents can always be a great tool in advising, guiding, directing, and loving through life. It is just vital that you remember not to “crowd out” your spouse by putting your parents in first place in your life, as the reading referenced. They can still be there for you in the good and bad times, but when you get married, your spouse becomes your #1.

I feel especially grateful that I am still able to feel close to my mom, and that my husband adores her and she loves him. They understand that they are both very important to me, and that they both play different roles from one another for me in my life. I am lucky to have two best friends that support and encourage me, and that I can always love.

Learning to Rephrase the Word "No"

2016-11-29T12:26:00.003-08:00

I enjoyed this week’s reading and thought it was well-rounded in its topics. It was nice to focus a little bit on parenting, some on fulfilling callings within the Church, and also equality between spouses in marriage.

One note that stood out to me was from the speech “Who Is the Boss?Power Relationships in Families”given by Richard B. Miller, PhD (the Director of the School of Family Life at Brigham Young University). It was in regards to effective parenting. He said, “Do not be afraid to set clear moral standards and guidelines. Be sure to say no when it is needed. As Dr. John Rosemond counseled: “Give your children regular, daily doses of Vitamin N. This vital nutrient consists simply of the most character-building two-letter word in the English language––‘'No’ . . . Unfortunately, many, if not most, of today’s children suffer from Vitamin N deficiency. They have been over-indulged by well-meaning parents who have given them far too much of what they want and far too little of what they truly need” (John Rosemond’s Six-Point Plan for Raising Happy, Healthy Children [Kansas City, MO.: Andrews & McMeel, 1989], p. 114) (Joe J. Christensen, Ensign, November 1993, p. 11).”

I found this interesting because I don’t entirely agree with its principles. Although I have yet to become a mother, I have always determined that I don’t want “no” to be a commonly used word from my vocabulary to my children. I want to be more creative in the ways they hear that they can’t have something right then, when they want it. I think when children become accustomed to hearing “no” all the time, they 1) learn to use it right back, and 2) perceive a negative connotation from feeling like their parent just wants to use their authority to turn them down.

I believe children shouldn’t always get what they want when they want it, so t I side with that part from Richard B. Miller’s thoughts. But I do believe parents can (and need to) be more creative in the way they say “no” to their children. If you can turn it around in a positive way such as by saying, “I’m sorry honey, since we are about to have dinner we can’t set the game up on the table to play, but how would you like to set it up as soon as we have all cleaned up after the meal?” Instead of outright saying “no” to the child, they feel as though you heard what they wanted, considered it, gave a logical reason as to why it can’t work at that moment, and offered a solution to try and make it work some other way.

I realize that everything that kids ask for may not have the chance to be figured out some other way, but by saying something such as “I love that you use your mind so creatively. Maybe that is something we can aim for in years to come. For now, let’s see if there is something else you could work towards getting” (if for example they asked to buy a horse).

I have much to learn in the time to come as a mother, but I am excited for the opportunity to learn with my husband and my children as we all figure it out together.

Greener Grass Takes Work!

2016-11-26T14:28:00.001-08:00

There was so much good stuff in the reading this week. I was very overwhelmed by the amount of reading however, I began to focus on the things that had meaning for me and that made sense. Some of the things I wanted to include are as follows:

Goddard wisely shared this: As my wise colleague James Marshall observes, “The grass is greener on the side of the fence you water.” If we tend our own little patch, even with all its weeds and rocks, we will find a joy that passes understanding. If we sit on the fence and dream, we will lose even our allotted garden spot. And the devil knows that.

I love that he pointed out it’s only greener on the side you water. It takes effort and work.

Goddard went on to say that, “Those who resist the lure and guile of Satan, those who honor covenants, those who tend the little garden of their own covenants, will enjoy sweetness in this life and rewards unmeasured in the world to come.”

Another idea that stood out from the reading said: As couples learn to communicate about sexual intimacy, they must learn to become comfortable with the topic and expressing their feelings and thoughts in specific ways. This is something that does not happen immediately, but over time as a couple trusts each other and learns to talk about a subject that may have been glossed over quickly or left undiscussed previously.

I truly believe that fostering an open communication within marriage will help with so many things! I am incredibly thankful for the open communication my husband and I share and always have shared with one another. It has made so many of our conversations a thousand times easier than they could have been, had we not felt comfortable enough to openly communicate with one another.

We also had the chance to discuss and study the effects of pornography. It is important to remember that both genders can be affected by the addiction of pornography. Often times it is overlooked and mainly focused on men being addicted. It is such a sad and harmful addiction. I thought the reading helped to provide a lot of good insight into how to help those who may be struggling with it, and to understand the effects of it as well.

I liked that much of the reading included hopeful thoughts, as the subject of pornography can so often feel heavy. One of my favorites was in Goddard's list of 10 guidelines to help prevent troubles within marriage, including the temptations Satan pulls on spouses who get into pornography. The tenth guideline said this, "Celebrate the sweet gift of companionship. The amazing message from our marriage partners is: 'I’m trusting you with my life, my body, my hopes, my dreams. Please be kind and gentle.' Each of us should rejoice in the sacred gift of spousal trust. If we have squandered any part of it, we should work to re-qualify for it."

Companionship is a sweet gift-- it needs to be celebrated! Too many times you hear about couples splitting up because they "weren't connecting anymore" or they "fell out of love" or they "didn't get each other." But all of those are ways to excuse the fact that their sweet companionship is not being celebrated! I loved the message he shared as if from partner to partner about how there is so much trust involved.

Another thought from Goddard is one I also shared in my own post, but is fitting to the topic of pornography addictions-- especially that occur within a marriage. He said, "Those who resist the lure and guile of Satan, those who honor covenants, those who tend the little garden of their own covenants, will enjoy sweetness in this life and rewards unmeasured in the world to come."

When we honor our covenants, resist Satan's powers through temptation, and work on nurturing our marriages, we will be able to enjoy the sweetness of that cherished companionship in our lives.

Natural Man or Naturally Charitable

2016-11-16T15:18:00.005-08:00

This week was a little frustrating as I worked hard to complete and study the reading, but still struggled with the quiz. It was frustrating to think that I completed all that was asked of me, and still didn’t perform the way I had hoped to because of my efforts. It sort of related to this week’s studies on the topic of charity, but even more so in the journey of life.

We may do all that we can, and still come up short. Without our merciful God, we wouldn’t be able to be perfect. Although I don’t believe He can make up the missed points we lack on a school assignment, He can remind us that we did all we could and to be proud of our honest efforts.

I believe this goes hand in hand with the way we view others, and especially our spouse. Goddard stated, “Each of us has weaknesses, “thorns in the flesh.” When we see weaknesses in our partners, it is easy to be annoyed… We will continue to be annoyed by our spouses unless we are humbled enough by our own limitations to call on heavenly grace… It is only when we recognize our weakness that we can be made strong by His perfect grace.”

It reminds me of the scripture, Ether 12:27: And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.

Goddard continued with the thought that, “We tolerate imperfections in our partners until they inconvenience us. Then we expect change.”

I really couldn’t complete this entry without including the story Goddard quoted from Terry Olson about a perfect example of how we can choose to rise above the natural man reaction.

The story goes:

The wife of a long-distance truck driver is worried about dinner being late. She and her husband always celebrate his return from his three or four days on the road with a quiet dinner. Although he is a little later than she expected, she is grateful she has not yet heard the brakes of the big rig in front of the house, because she wants the whole thing to be ready, and it’s not. Alas, there is the noise she had been both dreading and hoping for. She begins to imagine his coming in the back door, hanging up his jacket and then, before washing up, leaning around the hall entrance and smiling a greeting. She worries he will see the unset table and discover the unready meal. She is worried that his face will fall, that he will think his homecoming is no longer a big deal or will not include the spirit of welcome she typically offers. In other words, she is imagining him being offended—perhaps even resentful—at her unpreparedness. She worries he will hold it against her. Her imaginings seem absolutely realistic to her.

Her husband, however, presents her with an alternative reality. When he actually does lean around the corner and sees that dinner preparations are incomplete, he smiles, catches her eye, and says, “Hi, honey. Looks like I got here just in time to help. Be right there.”

We would all be wise to make a more conscious effort of our charitable reactions to situations, annoyances, and irritants where we may naturally want to react in a poor manner.

Grateful for the Good Things in Life

2016-11-09T16:14:00.001-08:00

This week I enjoyed learning about agency and ager and how we definitely have the choice between feeling the two. In one of my other classes this week I got to read an article titled “Creative Listening” written by Brenda Ueland. I felt that it was able to relate to agency and anger within marriage and family, so I wanted to tie it into this week’s post.

A couple things that stood out to me from her article are as follows: "For just as the tragedy of parents and children is not listening, so it is of husbands and wives. If they disagree they begin to shout louder and louder - if not actually, at least inwardly - hanging fiercely and deafly onto their own ideas, instead of listening and becoming quieter and quieter and more comprehending." Because I am trying to apply this to my marriage since I don't have children yet, I loved this statement by Ueland.

She later on noted that, "We should all know this: that listening, not talking, is the gifted and great role, and the imaginative role. And the true listener is much more beloved, magnetic than the talker, and he is more effective, and learns more and does more good. And so try listening. Listen to your wife, your husband, your father, your mother, your children, your friends; to those who love you and those who don't, to those who bore you, to your enemies. It will work a small miracle. And perhaps a great one." It is important to be aware of how we are listening to others, and work on improving that every chance we get. The better listeners we become, the more we can learn to really understand people and get to know them in a different, and hopefully more empathetic light.

In Goddard’s Drawing Heaven into Your Marriage he said the following, “The family is also Satan’s primary target. He is waging war on the family. One of his schemes is the subtle and cunning way he has of sneaking behind enemy lines and entering our very homes and lies.” Satan is known as the cunning an evil one and he will do all he can to hurt the strongest force in this life: families.

Goddard continued, “He damages and often destroys families within the walls of their own homes. His strategy is to stir up anger between family members… The ultimate joy is to surrender completely to God. We turn everything over to Him and life gets inexpressibly good.”

Impossibly good! Isn’t that the best promise? How could you not want to turn everything over to God and use your agency to rid your life of anger after hearing a promise like that?

I feel very blessed to have the influence of God in my everyday life. I am not perfect, but I love having something to aim for each day. I love that the Gospel makes me want to be a better person. I am grateful!

A Common Enemy-- Pride

2016-11-02T11:32:00.002-07:00

There were quite a few quotes from the talk titled “Beware of Pride” by President Benson that I loved. He said, “The proud cannot accept the authority of God giving direction to their lives.” Following that quote he referenced Helaman 12:6 which reads, “Behold, they do not desire that the Lord their God, who hath created them, should rule and reign over them; notwithstanding his great goodness and his mercy towards them, they do set at naught his counsels, and they will not that he should be their guide.” He talked about how the proud stand more in fear of men’s judgment than of God’s judgment. The thought, “What will men think of me?” weighs heavier than “What will God think of me?” I have been found guilty of this far too often in my own life. It is so simple to get caught up in worrying what others think of us, or if we will be pleasing others by our actions and decisions, in place of what God thinks of us.

President Benson said, “Fear of men’s judgment manifests itself in competition for men’s approval. Would we not do well to have the pleasing of God as our motive rather than elevate ourselves above others?” I relate with this so well. How often do we find ourselves worrying about how others will perceive us if we say or do something, and how often do we forget that what really matters is the way God sees us.

President Benson went on to talk about how, “When pride has a hold on our hearts, we lose our independence of the world and deliver our freedoms to the bondage of men’s judgment.” We shouldn’t allow ourselves to be tied down to what our peers think of us. This is so easy to say, and so hard to do.

I can’t go a week without referencing Goddard’s wise words from his book, “Drawing Heaven Into Your Marriage,” so this week is no different. In the chapter assigned this week he talked all about how we often easily find fault with our spouse, and fail to see where we have fault of our own. He stated, “Preparation for battle then begins in earnest. In our minds we review our partners’ violations of good will. And we analyze their characters and study our histories for other violations. Notice how the pride continues. We define the problem—whatever it is—in terms of our partner. And we tell the story to ourselves in ways that suggest we were earnestly and innocently going about life when our partners hurt us. We are innocent. They are guilty. Our narrow focus keeps us from noticing our own gaps in knowledge, our personal failings as well as the good qualities and good intentions of our partners.”

He finished that thought by saying, “We leave each battle dismayed that our partners did not see our wisdom and respond with needed changes.” We expect our spouse to think our fault finding is obvious and wise counsel for them, when in reality, all it does is hurt. If they did the same to us, we wouldn’t immediately want to respond with the “necessary changes” they pointed out we need to make in our character. We would most likely feel defensive and hurt. It is the same for them.

So many good thoughts this week. I seriously had to hold back from including almost the entire chapter. If you haven’t yet read “Drawing Heaven Into Your Marriage” by Goddard, I highly recommend it!

There is Purpose in Marriage

2016-10-28T09:44:00.002-07:00

I loved the reading this week and thought there were numerous good insights into there being a purpose for marriage on the earth. Of course, I have to quote Goddard again because he always has so many inspiring things to say in Drawing Heaven Into Your Marriage.

I wanted to include at least 15 different things from his chapter on how having faith in Christ can directly impact the success within your marriage, but I kept those as notes and narrowed it down to these two major points:

He said: It is hard to rightly express the truth about God’s influence in our lives. I believe the truth is something close to: “If I am trying to live the gospel, God will not allow anything to happen to me that cannot become a blessing for me.” Of course there is a little trick in this formulation. God can turn almost any of our choices into blessings. He has an amazing ability to transform our bad decisions into growth. But I believe it is also true that he even rescues us from having to face or confront decisions if we are not prepared for them. He keeps us from challenges that we cannot reasonably conquer.

If we are doing all that we can to live a life of purpose and serving and direction towards God, he will not allow anything to happen to us that cannot become a blessing for us. How incredible is that promise?

Goddard later on stated that: When we have vibrant faith, we trust that God brought us together for a good reason. We trust that He will refine and perfect us if we keep trying. We trust that all things work together for good for them that trust Him. We trust that we will one day be happier together than we can imagine. This is the perspective of faith. It acknowledges that our lives are not random or meaningless.

Who we chose to marry, was not directed by something random. We were brought together for a reason. Nothing in our life is meaningless or random, and as long as we keep our attention on the Lord and exercise our faith, nothing ever will be random. Our marriages should never be considered "mistakes" that are by "happen-chance." They are built upon covenants between you and your spouse and the Lord. The more focus that goes into that triangle (or pyramid), the more love and success can be felt within your marriage.

A few more notes to remember (From Drawing Heaven Into Your Marriage by Goddard):

• At times of relationship stress the best of us may wonder if we should have married differently—if we made a mistake. My guess is that, in ways not discerned by us, God guided us to be together.

• I believe that God guides our lives in ways that we almost never discern. Not only does He sustain us from moment to moment by lending us breath, He also guides, rescues, protects, teaches, and blesses constantly.

• Any time we feel irritated with each other it is an opportunity to grow. Irritation is an invitation to better thinking and acting. Since, in most cases, we are perfectly designed for each other, staying engaged with each other is vital. But it isn’t a matter of stubborn resolve. It is a matter of replacing irritation with compassion and charity; replacing accusation with humility; replacing frustration with invitation.

Final thought for the week: Having faith does not make everything easy. Rather, faith makes life and its challenges both bearable and meaning-filled. Thank you for your wise thoughts, Goddard.

Nurturing Fondness and Admiration

2016-10-18T12:20:00.001-07:00

For this week I wanted to focus mainly on the discussion question: How has nurturing your fondness and admiration strengthened your relationship with [your spouse]? I changed it to mean how nurturing my fondness and admiration has strengthened my marriage with my husband. Goddard, as always, had so many excellent insights into this idea and I wanted to share one first, “Even if we have had a mighty change of heart—even if at some time in our lives God has filled our souls—every day we decide anew whether to live by the guidelines of the mind of Christ or the imperatives of the natural man. Every day, every hour we decide whether we will continue to sing the song of redeeming love—or whimper in discontent (Goddard, Drawing Heaven into your Marriage (Kindle Locations 700-702)).”

Every single day we have the choice to decide how we will react to our spouse, how we will react to our lives, and we continually have the opportunity to nurture our fondness and admiration for our spouse so that when times do get tough we can better weather them together. Some people assume that marriage is complete bliss, and comes easily as long as you decide you love someone once. Marriage takes work and effort and strengthening, and ultimately none of that can be practiced if we don’t first have the desire to nurture our fondness and admiration and appreciation for the person we decided to be with forever.

Goddard also talked about how, “If we listen carefully and learn humbly about our partners’ points of view, we will be enlarged and enriched…. [In marriage…] We make a covenantal step toward unselfishness.” When we can sacrifice for the better of our spouse, and they can reciprocate, our marriages will be better for that.

In The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, I love that John Gottman says, “There is nothing complicated about reviving or enhancing your fondness and admiration.” He talks about how you simply need to remember positive feelings and that by thinking about them and getting back to how you truly felt when they happened, is the first step in bringing your fondness and admiration back to life. Gottman went on to say, “When you acknowledge and openly discuss positive aspects of your partner and your marriage, your bond is strengthened.” I think of it like watering plants. If you don’t nourish and take care of a plant, it will wither and die, and that is the same for any relationship, but especially marriage. Good things take work, and the things worth keeping taking continual efforts on our part.

One of my classmates added some inspiration when discussing my plant analogy with her. She said, "And even when we water the plant, weeds can still pop up! We just have to be proactive about pulling them and then working to keep them away. You can add fertilizer and weed-killer, but like anything else in life, we can become complacent and those weeds will crop right up again."

A final thought from Goddard really stuck out to me when he stated, “Character and companionship do not come without consistent investment.” The ore we are willing and take action to invest in our most meaningful relationship with our spouse, the more love and success we will experience within that eternal bond. We are so lucky to have the chance to be with one person forever. Let’s make sure we continually do all we can to nurture fondness and admiration within our marriages.

Inspirations from Goddard

2016-10-13T19:17:00.003-07:00

I thought there were so many inspiring ideas from the reading material this week. I loved diving into both books for this class and especially enjoyed what Drawing Heaven Into Your Marriage by Goddard had to say. He noted a few things that I keep referring back to and want to make sure I write down so I don’t forget them. One thing he touched on was the idea that, “We sometimes are so concerned about being right in an argument that we fail to be good.” How many times have we argued with someone we love for no apparent reason other than to be right? But if more fully focus on being good people, being right won’t seem so desirable in arguments.

On the subject of being right in arguments (especially with those whom we love), I really liked the visual Goddard gave when he stated, “For example, in a spousal squabble we attack our partners, their wisdom and goodness, in the process of proving that things should have been done our way. We leave them injured and half dead as we stomp off to inventory our rightness.” If remember to look at it that way, instead of feeling proud of proving our point, our hearts can be softened and we can return to reality in knowing that we may be hurting someone in the process of trying to be right.

Goddard also noted, “Those truly succeeding at marriage are those who are applying the Gospel of Jesus Christ in their lives.” The more we can implement the Gospel teachings into our day-to-day, the more successful and happy our relationships can be. It leaves room for more love, more support, more encouragement, more laughter, and so many good things, that our relationships will begin to flourish the more we are applying the teachings of the Gospel into our lives every day.

Marriage is a commitment that needs to be consistently nurtured, and it can’t be nurtured when we are harboring feelings of resentment towards one another. Those feelings of resentment come from arguments intentionally aimed at hurting the other person in an attempt to be right, or prove a point. Humility is something that every spouse and every marriage needs to continually incorporate into the everyday so that more peace and love and growth can be present.

A few more inspiring notes from Goddard I don't want to forget:

When we are more godly, fewer things bother us. And when we run into problems, we are more likely to process them in helpful ways.
Unexpected service to the stranger is often warmly appreciated. Service to family is expected and often goes unappreciated. As a result, many of us cheerfully do for others the things that we grudgingly or sporadically do for family. What would we do if we were less concerned about the rewards of appreciation? Probably we would offer gentle healing regularly to injured family members.
We can be humbled by reflection. How often have I seen my partner’s pain and added to it by heaping discontent on my already-injured spouse? When she is hurting do I take an “I told you so” stance? Maybe we do a little better than the thieves. Maybe we act like the priest or Levite. We blithely ignore our partner’s struggles. Maybe we figure they deserve it. Maybe we figure it’s not our problem. Maybe we are absorbed with our own problems.

(Goddard, H. Wallace. Drawing Heaven Into Your Marriage. JoyMap Publishing. Kindle Edition.)

Have a happy week!!

Incomprehensible Joy

2016-10-06T15:11:00.002-07:00

The study for this week was very insightful and included many inspiring thoughts throughout the videos and reading.

It was interesting to see the difference between a covenant and a contract marriage and be able to determine which one I want for me and my husband. A covenant marriage has more promise and hope, with love and Heavenly Father at the foundation. It seems like people can get so caught up in their own wants and needs, putting those above all else and it can greatly harm a marriage in doing so. The more focus on oneself, the less room for success in working and growing together in a marriage. People have become more focused on how they can progress in the world, versus in their own homes. I think that is one of detrimental downfalls in our society.

The decision to choose a career or mothering is a very prominent choice among today's women. It is inspiring to see when even those who are so successful and in love with their careers choose the Lord's way by creating and raising a family of their own. Progression within the home is viewed so much differently (and looked down upon) from progression in the world, yet within in the home is where it really matters, looking at it from an eternal perspective. People often forget this principle and I even bounce back and forth with the option to work while I am a mother or not. I think decisions like these are personal between you, your spouse and the Lord, but I love to see proof where women can power through in their own homes by nurturing, teaching, and raising children.

I think so many women have incredible strength and independence. I am amazed that we have the capacity to bring children into this world. We made commitments before we came to the earth and we were very well aware of what we agreed to before we got here. We all have such vibrant and extraordinary gifts. I also believe that we were each individually called to carry out special assignments while on the earth and I feel that we are blessed as we do what we were called to do and strengthened each time we do so.

Going back to the idea of a covenant marriage versus a contract marriage, I loved the thoughts throughout Elder Hafen’s talk on a Covenant Marriage. He said, “A covenant marriage requires a total leap of faith: they must keep their covenants without knowing what risks that may require of them. They must surrender unconditionally, obeying God and sacrificing for each other. Then they will discover what Alma called ‘incomprehensible joy.’”

I have found this so true in my life, because for all major decisions, I have had to rely entirely on my faith in the Lord to trust that I was moving in the direction that He hoped for me to go. My husband and I always talk about how with any major decision we have had to make, we always have to first make that initial step into the dark, before we receive confirmation that what we chose is right. Heavenly Father wants to see our action of faith before we know for a certainty that we have progressed forward in the path we should be taking.

This can relate to the words we heard in conference last weekend from Elder Nelson on joy. He said, "The joy we feel has little to do with the circumstances of our lives, and everything to do with the focus of our lives." There is so much truth in his words that we can often forget in our everyday.

I also loved Elder Bednar’s thoughts on eternal marriage when he said, “I testify that we have been blessed with all of the spiritual resources we need to learn about, to teach, to strengthen, and to defend righteous marriage—and that indeed we can live together in happiness as husbands and wives and families in eternity.” We are so lucky to know what we know and to have the blessings of eternal marriage and eternal families through the restored Gospel and our holy temples on the earth.

Supreme Court Ruling

2016-10-02T20:01:00.001-07:00

This week we were able to learn about being defenders of marriage and keeping the family unit an important aspect in the eyes of the world. This is a huge undertaking to convince the world how individuals think a family should be, but I think it is important for all of us to be able to express our opinions on matters that relate to our lives.

My discussion thought for the week:

I thought the reading was actually fairly interesting this week and gave an eye-opening perspective within the Supreme Court. Usually when I see court cases I have to read for classes I am immediately frustrated by the idea of trying to understand the language and words used within the cases. However, I thought this case was interesting because it really dove into the detailed thoughts and opinions for judges on the Supreme Court about the decision to allow same-sex marriage through all states.

One of the statements that Roberts made I continued to think about through the course of the reading and went back to after. Roberts said, "It arose in the nature of things to meet a vital need: ensuring that children are conceived by a mother and father committed to raising them in the stable conditions of a lifelong relationship." I find it intriguing to hear outside perspectives of people that may not be members of our Church, who still fully support the idea that marriage is between a man and a woman and that children should be raised within those very bounds. I am encouraged by the fact that although these viewpoints can be skewed within the world, there are still others who support the original make-up of the family unit that has been around since the beginning of time.

Roberts continued with support of that point by saying, "The Constitution itself says nothing about marriage, and the Framers thereby entrusted the States with '[t]he whole subject of the domestic relations of husband and wife.'" Although the Constitution doesn't say that marriage is absolutely required to be between a man and a woman, it leaves the decision up to the people and in this case, it seems to be in support of the family institution including a husband and wife, a father and a mother.

I appreciated the chance to teach these points, as well as some subject matter from the article on the Supreme Court Ruling, to an individual in my life. We were able to discuss it together and hear each other out on our personal opinions that reflected some of the dissenting on the subject.

The debate of same-sex marriage is a tough one to fully get into for me because I feel that everyone is entitled to make their own decisions in this life. That is why we were given the gift of free agency, to be able to choose what we think is right for us as individuals. I think it is important to remember though, that when marriages are not between a man and a woman, the sacred powers of procreation become impossible, thus eliminating the possibility of bringing children into this world.

I never want to offend, or sound harsh, and I hope that through these discussions on sensitive topics we are all able to feel like we are being heard, and giving others the chance to voice their opinion as well.

Let's Begin!

2016-09-23T09:20:00.001-07:00

Here I will record my thoughts from class discussions, readings, lecture info, etc. through the semester.

Looking forward to learning together through these blogs we have created!

My discussion thought for the week:

This week’s reading felt overwhelming to me at first. I wondered how I would be able to feel inspired by the words in the text if there was so much of it. It was interesting to see that I did end up noting a few things that struck a chord with me.

One of these includes the quote in the PowerPoint that talked about being a transitional character. How cool is it that we each individually have the opportunity to be a transitional character in our families? To refresh, this was defined as, “A transitional character is one who, in a single generation, changes the entire course of a lineage.” We have the chance to change the entire course of a lineage, the entire course! That is a huge undertaking and a huge opportunity all in one. It is up to us to determine whether we want to do so for better or for worse within our family lineage. So far through interacting with students through these boards I am assured that all would choose the first, to improve a lineage for the better. I am also confident that each of us can and will do so.

Another thing that I continue to reflect on from this week’s reading is actually from the other PowerPoint which included a quote by President Kimball. Quotes usually hit home for me. He said, “Many of the social restraints which in the past have helped to reinforce and to shore up the family are dissolving and disappearing. The time will come when only those who believe deeply and actively in the family will be able to preserve their families in the midst of the gathering evil around us.” There will come a time (and it already feels this way, at least for me, in the world), where we are who the Lord is counting on to preserve and protect the family unit. That’s us! He is putting full trust in us to carry forth His work and we have the opportunity to come unto Him and push forward with faith. I think that is so cool. We get to be such a vital part in the Lord’s plan day after day, and we need to remember that this is the plan we chose before we came down here. We chose to support, we knew it would be challenging, and we took it on. Now is our chance to prove that we can do it. We can succeed!