I recently was diagnosed with genital herpes. My boyfriend has it so I went to go get checked. I have never had a breakout in the genital area but since contracting the disease I have had two breakouts on my finger. I am only assuming it is herpes. But this second time is much worse. I now have pain from my finger running along a vein or nerve? all the way to my armpit. Is this normal?

I wouldn’t assume you have anything on your finger because it’s too easy to make a mistake. How about going to your doctor and having them take a look and Run Tests before you decide that your symptoms on your finger are because of herpes. Tell your doctor about the pain you are experiencing because I don’t think that is normal.

That is my unprofessional opinion. I am not a doctor.

When you were diagnosed with herpes how did your doctor confirm that? Did the doctor do proper Herpes Testing? Do you have Genital HSV-1 or Genital HSV-2?

Also, there are many people out there that have herpes and do not get signs or symptoms that they can see or feel. Just because there are no signs or symptoms doesn’t mean that the virus isn’t there anymore.

I just found out yesterday that I have herpes. I feel so disgusting and worthless right now. I feel like my entire life is over and I will never be the same. I don’t know what to do, I don’t know what to think. I am a mess and I don’t think I will ever be happy again. I am completely devastated. I feel like I want to die.

The first thing you need to realize is that it’s okay to be upset about your diagnosis. I was very upset, hurt and angry when I was diagnosed. I too felt like my life was over and who would want to be with me now? On top of that, I was a single mom at the time so I felt as if all the odds were stacked against me when it came to finding true love and happiness in life.

I can tell you from experience that the best thing you can do for yourself is to find a safe person you can talk to. Have you thought about who those “safe” people might be? What about a counselor?

In the meantime, if you just need to vent about what is going on in your life there are a couple of online support groups I can recommend: Picking Up the Pieces and Shut Up and Post! STD Message Board. If you decide to check those out be sure and create an alias that nobody knows about so that you will be able to vent and share in peace without fear of being judged.

I know you don’t feel this way right now but things will get better. I promise you that your life is not over. You will find happiness, live and love in spite of having herpes.

The first thing you need to do is to read the word documents that I’ve sent you. Arm yourself with information. Talk to people who understand what you are dealing with. Spend some time by yourself for awhile. Learn to Love who you are. Once you learn to Love yourself everything else will fall into place. You’ll see.

You’re best friend has herpes and you’re afraid to sit on her toilet? There is not reason to fear your best friend’s toilet seat. None. You can’t catch herpes from a toilet seat.

Herpes is not some sort of bug that jumps from someone’s vagina to the toilet seat. That’s not how it works at all. Herpes is a skin to skin STD. You can only get it from kissing, oral sex, anal sex or, vaginal sex.

On top of that herpes can’t really survive outside of the body for long periods of time. So unless you’re having sex with your best friend on her toilet seat, you’re not going to contract herpes that way.

Oh and Post Secret gets all the credit for that picture. I’m a big fan of the Post Secret Sunday Secret’s blog. When I see pictures like this one, I feel the need to clear the air.

What advice could you guys give to someone, who isn’t infected but loves someone who is infected? Are there any success stories, of happy marriages, where one partner has it and the other doesn’t?

How unconditional is your love?

When you love someone, truly love them, you love all the parts that make them who they are. When you love someone you are saying that person makes you feel good, they bring out the best in you, and you enjoy spending time with them, right?

I’ve had herpes for fifteen years and it has absolutely nothing to do with who I am.

Herpes doesn’t define me.

There are plenty of Success Stories out there.

You are welcome to read our Telling Story. My husband wrote it back when we were dating. It’s his version of what it was like for him when I told him that I have herpes.

Enjoy!!

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I came across your website while studying and wanted to know the difference between HSV 1 and HSV 2. Then I read your “about me” page.

Keep up the good work. We need more advocates like you out there, advocates who are doing so because they have been there, done that knowing that it takes a lot of courage and healing to act as you did. So, this is a “thank you” note for your thoughtfulness to the world wide web.

~A

A Positive Life by Shane Stanford from Anthony Thaxton on Vimeo.

Thank You K-LOVE!!

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Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.

John 15:13