During these tough economic times, I imagine the word “vacation” is probably not on the tip of your tongue.  In fact, right now it’s likely clinging to one of your molars for dear life!

That doesn’t mean a romantic weekend getaway with your loved one will have to wait until your 401K gets out of the Intensive Care Unit.  Local travel can be just as exciting as the exotic trip you may have taken last year, for a fraction of the price.

This past weekend, my fiancée and I took the local ferry from Manhattan 40-minutes across the water to the beach in Sandy Hook, NJ.  We stayed two nights at a quaint little bed and breakfast near the water’s edge.  While we were there, we spent time at the beach, went for an afternoon bike ride, visited the oldest lighthouse in the U.S., and ended the day eating fish tacos along the water.  The whole trip cost around $650.  More importantly, we reconnected.

Amidst the slew of stresses we all face on a daily basis, it’s easy to overlook the importance of setting aside time to reconnect with your partner.  Just know that it is probably the most important thing you can do to ensure the health of your relationship during times of stress.

My advice is simply to remind yourself to make the effort despite all of the distractions in your daily life.  Put it in your Blackberry calender.  Go on a picnic.  Light some candles one night.  Pour a couple glasses of wine.

When worrying about money, romance is often the last things on one’s mind.  But you know what?  I’ve found that when I remember make the effort, I always feel much better and my loved one appreciates it.

I had my first Manhattan apartment well over a decade ago on 90^th and Central Park West that I shared with another girl, we were just entering drinking age and both waited tables at Houlihan’s on 59^th and 5^th. When not slinging beers for non-tipping European tourists (back then the tipping customs were still blurry I guess) our evenings were spent trolling New York’s bar scene.  I was single back then, and while never naïve my friends and I were slightly carless with our attire, showing more skin then maybe I would now and characteristically unconcerned with the “what if’s” that living in the city held for young attractive women.

We knew to walk fast looking straight ahead with purpose, and a lot of us attached pepper spray to our key chains, come to think of it you don’t see that so much anymore. Hmmmm? The one common thread though stringing us all together was the subway flasher.  We’d all seen one at some point.  The lone man sitting across from you, full car or empty, afternoon or night, he’d stare at you just long enough for you to notice and when you did there it was, his exposed member glowing beneath the fluorescent bulbs.  Some stories are more horrible than others and I am happy to say that that mine went pretty much as I just described it.  Not pleasant, yet hardly traumatic.  But there are men who have done unspeakable things on a busy subway when fronts are pressed to backs and well, let’s just say they, left their mark on a friend of mine.

Yes, that is correct.

So this supposed new string of flashers has grabbed the attention of a city and perhaps that has made it front-page news but I promise you this is nothing new.  The only difference now is the invention of the camera phone so flashers beware.  If you wish to be spared the embarrassment of the world knowing what New York women have known for years.  Keep it in your pants.

And ladies, I’m beginning to see a light at the end of the flasher subway tunnel.

The last week of August brings about sadness for the end of summer and a new focus on what lies ahead for the fall season. I guess I cling to that notion of the endless summer. It could be that my lack of summer enjoyment this year has been severely limited because of work. But I still have another week or so before the fall work days kick in and I start looking forward to spring.

One might say that I am diametrically opposed to myself because of some deep beliefs. I hate the cold weather. Just mention snow and I must resist the urge to punch someone. Summer is my favorite time of the year with the sun out, wearing shorts, outside dining, windows open, and vacations at the beach. The funny part of this is that beer wise, I dislike most of the spring and summer beer styles and love the fall and winter brews. The fall has some of the best beers available with Oktoberfest beers and pumpkin beers flowing, with the introduction of some porters and stouts as it gets later in the season.

All of those factors in place, you can understand my conflict when it is August 20th and I am having a conversation with some beer industry people about how the Oktoberfest and pumpkin beers are being shipped to the retailers by the end of the week. I love these beers more than any other, but the questions start flooding my mind:
• Is the summer over already?
• Isn’t it too hot to drink some of these styles?
• What if they all sell out before the heart of Oktoberfest season or pumpkin season?
• Why so early?
• Where did the time go?

A little history lesson is in order. Oktoberfest started in Munich, Germany to celebrate the marriage of King Ludwig and Therese of Bavaria on October 18, 1810. The dates changed over time to be a 16 day festival that ended the first weekend of October so the weather was still nice to enjoy the outdoors. Mid September is the time to enjoy this mighty brew with the air getting a bit crisp and the caramel tones smooth to the palate.

Getting back to that conversation I was having with the beer industry people, I asked them why every year the date of this seasonal beer keeps getting earlier and earlier releases. The distributer told me that some of the bigger companies are starting to release their Oktoberfest beers earlier (Sam Adams release date for Oktoberfest is August 1), so they are asking for earlier release dates (July 30th).

We had a heated discussion about this issue and I was the lone non-industry person in the room. I was alone, but speaking for most of my friends who have been converted to the craft brewing revolution. The industry people kept droning on how if they sell the beer too late (September), that they would be stuck holding the bag on the Oktoberfest beers. I get it. Some people get the jump on it early because they gobble up as many cases they can afford when they come out.

Most average consumers are not that lucky.  The real problem comes when it is late September or early October and none are left to purchase.  This is the season for the Seasonal Fall Beer, yet none can be found.  It is like a fantasy football draft where running backs come at a premium.  If my starting running back gets hurt for the season, it is hard to get another one that will be as good.  When I was at my local watering hole this week, they had one Oktoberfest beer and one Pumpkin beer on tap.  By Friday night of that week, the Oktoberfest beer was kicked without any backup.  It is still August.

My argument is not to limit the release until the season, JUST MAKE MORE.

It’s a real August scorcher and I wake up to the shriek of my alarm. 7:30am, perfect. Just enough time to snap to it, drink my famously strong coffee have a bite and head out to kickboxing class. I joined CKO about a month ago and I am already seeing the results. This is not an endorsement, no they’re not paying me in fact I paid them to whip my Italian ass back in shape after a year of caloric indiscretions that are not the reason for this article.

I digress.

I’ve been hitting the bags (ya like that term?) around three days a week on average mixed in with some running and weight training and I’m starting to look like my old self again. The classes are brutal. I’ve had personal trainers, no, really good ones who’ll beat your body into submission, make you cry for your mamma and wish you were born French, (or maybe that’s just me) Point is, this is every bit the workout but in a class setting. You feel it, and see it quick.

The first three weeks I was so out of breath and just trying to get to the end that I didn’t notice how many chicks are in the class. The last few times I’ve gone the room is chock full of cute, in-shape, unmarried women, mostly under the age of 40 and a lot of them under the age of 30.

It’s a single guys dream!

And these women are getting DOWN. They’re punching and kicking and doing push-ups to beat the band. Seriously, if you can’t hang I say lovingly to stay home because you don’t want to pass out or anything, that’s not so hot but guys….this is where the ladies are AT!

I was shocked to see how few men take the classes. There are some but the competition is slim. I know what you’re thinking…it is MOST DEFINITELY a guy’s work out it was designed by a man many of the classes are taught by men and the gym is manly, don’t worry, it’s not like joining Elaine Roberts or Curves or anything.

Now Fellas, you’d be there to hit on the heavy bags, not the females, BUT if you play it right and are GENTLEMAN and don’t puke during class, you may meet a nice girl who’s body is tight and can afford a gym membership. OKAY?? That’s what I’m sayin’!

Just remember, one wrong move, and she’ll roundhouse you back onto Match.com.

(*CKO Kickboxing Gyms have a dozen of locations in the NY/NJ area.)

CKOkickboxing.com

I’ll admit it.  I’m a man who requires a weekly manscaping.

In my bathroom lives an army of hair trimmers, tweezers, lotions, and shaving creams.  I pluck my unibrow (faint as it may be), trim my chest hair, buzz the back of my neck, and now sometimes even parts of my back.  I know most of you may be thinking, “What does this have to do with being a Sexy American Boyfriend?” The answer is EVERYTHING.

On a given day, I see at least a dozen or so well dressed men making every effort to look good: wearing clean shirts, a nice suit, gel in the hair.  Then they turn around and on the back of their necks are tufts of hair that resemble Brillo.  Can someone explain this to me?  Because I’m dumbfounded.

Guys, listen.  You have a lot of hair on your body; we’re descendents of apes, and some of us more than others.  The stuff growing out of the top of your head is not the only area worth paying attention to.  Trust me.  Women appreciate a well-groomed man.  It shows that you take pride in your appearance.

If your only experience in male grooming is a bi-weekly $12 trip to your local barber, here are some tips to get you started.

Frist off, buy a good razor and make it your best friend.  I prefer the Gillette Mach 3.

Next, invest in a beard trimmer for all those “other” areas.  And for god’s sake, in between haircuts, use it to clean up the back of your neck!  (This is bordering on a personal crusade for me.  I know.  I’m working on it.)  Don’t forget to trim the front of the neck too.  A clean shaven face next to a dozen rogue chest hairs making their way up your neck is not sexy.

Bare chests are out (I went there.  Oh believe me, I went there).  The new look is groomed chest hair.  Despite what magazine ads would have you believe, most women view chest hair as a sign of virility.  So don’t throw the baby out with the bath water.  Just get it under control.

If you have back hair, lose it.  Fast.  In my personal estimation, two percent of the female population find back hair attractive and I doubt those are the women you’re after.  When it comes to back hair, it should really be waxed.  Almost any hair or nail salon will be able to accommodate you. The rooms are private, the technicians are discreet, and it’ll last you around four weeks.

DO NOT, under any circumstances, unless you are Michael Phelps, shave either your arms or legs.  This has become a popular look in certain circles.  And while it might score you points on the Jersey shore this summer, it will likely alienate you from the majority of the female population.

Lastly, remember to clean up the bathroom after you’re done.  Do I need to explain why?

So there you have it, a brief introduction to manscaping to help you get started on your journey.  Now get going.  Just remember there is a line.  Sometimes too much grooming is just too much grooming and may send the wrong message.  Where that line exists, I can’t tell you.  We all have to find it for ourselves and I guess it all really depends on the type of person you are trying to attract.  Figure that out and then you’ll be able to develop your plan of attack when it comes to body hair.

No matter what, if you simply make the effort to stay on top of it, I’m certain you will find the object of your desire very appreciative.

Ahhh, the days of wine and roses.

It went something like this: you’d call, ask her out for a little fun and romance, she’d happily accept then proceed to get a pedicure, new panties, a blow out. You might shave and even iron your shirt. Both of you would show up looking and smelling good.  Everything you said was funny and everything she did was a turn on.  And sex?  Oh that was in the bag, always a pleasure, never a chore, it was frequent and uncomplicated.

Remember?  I know that you do.

Fast forward two years later.  You took the leap, traded in your bachelor pad with the unmade bed, dirty socks on the floor and Right Guard on the kitchen counter to her place, a little more civilized, decorated and, well, let’s face it, clean.  Or maybe she moved into yours, there are flowers on the dining table now and you haven’t seen your Wii in a year.  But what you really can’t figure out is how all three closets in the place suddenly became hers and your left with half of the coat closet by the front door.  (The other half is for her coats of course, jeeze..)

You still love her, in fact you love her more, it’s different now, you feel protective of her, loyal, and perhaps slightly safe with her in a way you never have with anyone before.  She gets you and your stupid humor, you both crack up at Family Guy, she makes good tacos, and the flowers are a nice touch if you really think about it.  Plus she loves you back.  You can tell by how she looks at you, how she makes sure your birthdays are always planned and the milk’s never sour.

But the physical part seems to be more complicated now, less of a done deal and more of a negotiation.  She’s hard to read and even harder to get naked.  Her legs aren’t shaved as often these days and what ever happened to that cute little silky thing she used to wear?

On the other hand you’re belly’s a little bigger now from all the comfort eating you’ve been doing on the couch together and she did buy those flowers on the table herself.

Here’s a tip.

I’m not every woman (although I do love that song) I’m just one girl in my own unique situation. 3 years, same dude, living together, totally in love, but human….oh so very human are we.

We still do it, and frankly we still like it.  But I get fridgy, all women do.  And he tries everything, dinners, new shoes (oh yes, the seeming secret weapon) I know some of you men buy jewelry hoping for the fire to re-kindle, and there are couples spending thousands on therapy all with little result.

I can’t say what’s right or wrong with that stuff or what deep seeded issues there may or may not be in your relationship.  Some women are never happy I know this. I’m neutral guys. I’m just here to help and this is what works for me.

When my gorgeous, strapping, very masculine Alpha male slaps on the rubber gloves and cleans our bathroom, it’s ON.  And I’ll tell you what else, for my birthday, he got me a cleaning lady for the day.  Now, THAT was hot.

I realize that some of you already have a cleaning lady the truth is I don’t like strangers in my house. (I know I’m neurotic.)  The one time he surprised me with her though was really nice, and that night my sexy American boyfriend got laid.  And well.  But honestly, never do I love him more than when he cleans our home himself.  And not after I’ve screamed about it, that doesn’t count.  But when he thinks of it, does it and doesn’t moan about it.  And guys, he only has to do that like 4 or 5 times a year but it’s a damn aphrodisiac I swear to God. Because here’s the secret, while I’m NOT doing the cleaning, I AM shaving my legs, and digging out my cute little sumpin’ sumpin’ to put on to say thank you in a big way.

Here’s the deal. We feel like your Mommies, and it’s not recipe for hot sex.  We do like making a home, it’s in our nature but sometimes we want you to show an interest in the nest also.  We notice it when you do, and when you don’t.  Again, I can’t speak for all women, but if you have not tried this yet I urge you.

The next time it’s a little cool in the South,

Save your money, clean the toilet.

I used to think I liked ironing.  I did.  Call me OCD, but starting my day in a clean, crisp, white shirt was important to me, and if that meant it came down to a good old fashioned steam ironing, that was what I was prepared to do.

At the time I lived on Long Island, where I grew up.  I lived in my parents’ house, where there was a guest bedroom dedicated solely to folding and ironing laundry.  I had it rough, I know.

When I moved to my first New York City apartment, I soon found that my limited closet and drawer space meant I would not only have to iron every day, but each shirt would now take twice as long.

I tried to make it work at first, but in a matter of a few short months, I was showing up to work in wrinkled shirts.  Not very Sexy American Boyfriend of me, I know.

A couple more months went by and I finally decided to buy one of those small “city living” style ironing boards.  You know, the short ones that you stand on a desk?  Up until then I had been using my kitchen table.  I thought that was working well until one of my co-workers told me he could tell what I had for dinner the night before from the stains on my shirt the next day.

That night I went to Bed Bath & Beyond and found my way to the ironing section.  I had my iron all picked out, when suddenly, at the top of the shelf, I saw a tiny bottle labeled Grandma’s Secret Wrinkle Remover.  It claimed to remove wrinkles simply by spraying it on the shirt and tugging at it a few times.  I thought this product would probably end up in the closet with all the other gimmicks I had been sold on television infomercials.  That was not the case.

I’ll just get right to it.  Buy this product guys.  Even if you prefer to iron your shirts on most days, you may find yourself in a jam and need a wrinkle free shirt in 60 seconds.  This product exceeded all of my expectations.  I use it every day.  I give it a few short sprays, and a minute later I’m wrinkle free and ready to start my day.

It’s something every Sexy American Boyfriend should have in his linen closet.