Musings: Shamanic, Animal, Planetary & more

Avoiding the holidays (rant)

2011-12-19T15:15:00.000-05:00

There are a lot of reasons why I don't like the holidays. I'm not a Christian anymore and the constant refrain of the Christers, as I call them, is mentally exhausting. Keep CHRIST in CHRISTMAS they scream on billboards and on Facebook and in person, not caring or knowing that most "Christmas" rituals were stolen from older pagan traditions. These people get royally offended at the generic greeting of Happy Holidays and don't seem to understand that Happy Holidays includes everyone, while Merry Christmas excludes everyone who doesn't worship Jesus. To me, one is friendly, the other rude. Do what you want with your Jesus but keep him out of my face.
What elements of Christmas, you ask, are taken from pagans?

The son of a god being born at the winter solstice--the feast of Osiris (ancient Egypt), who was the son of a god and who died and was resurrected, was on 12/25. Mithras (ancient Rome) was also born on the solstice, died and was buried and resurrected, and I believe he also might have been born of a virgin but don't quote me on that.
Evergreen tree--Druids of ancient England decorated trees to celebrate the winter solstice.
Mistletoe kissing--a pagan fertility practice.
Santa--modern Santa was pretty much invented by Coca-Cola and I never understood what he had to do with Jesus.
I don't have any idea where presents came from but not from Jesus. All my presents when I was little came from Santa, Jesus never gave me anything.

Just a few of the many.
The Jesus hysteria, of course, is a big one that makes me want to crawl into a turtle shell around Thanksgiving and not come out. Another is holiday music. Even on the radio, on stations that usually play lovely loud rock music, they are playing those same rock bands warbling mournfully about the holidays in a way that should truly offend anyone of any sense and taste, of any religion.
Of course, my Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), triggered by the loss of light leading up to the winter solstice, makes everything that much worse. The turtle shell idea is that much more inviting--I don't want to come out and why should I?
The thought of entering any store during that same time period is anathema to me. I don't want presents. I can't afford to reciprocate and I don't want more STUFF. I spent last year de-cluttering my house, why should I junk it back up with stuff I don't want or need? People desperate to get the latest, greatest, hottest STUFF, the must-have stuff, the looks on their faces as they pay with charge cards and layaway and their mortgage money just makes me ill.
I try to take a step back and allow others to play out their karma and their own lives while I hide. I think about how much fun I'll be having a year from now as Baktun 12 winds down and for probably the only time in my life, everyone talks about the Mayan calendar.

Happy Winter Solstice. Enjoy whatever holiday your like, in your own way.

3 new Jaguar Nights volumes!

2011-11-22T13:59:00.001-05:00

Jaguar Nights: A Journey Through the Tzolkin
My 592-page book on the Tzolkin, is available through me or from Amazon. A Kindle edition is coming soon. $30.00
The Mesoamerican Tzolkin is a beautiful and simple calendar as well as a system of astrology and divination. Jaguar Nights is a uniquely organized reference book devoted to this sacred 260-day cycle. Each of the 260 days has two entire pages of comprehensive information. No flipping pages to figure out what everything means! It includes advanced information on how to use the calendar for divination augury, relationship compatibility, rituals, astrology, and how to find significant dates (electional astrology), all fully explained. Includes 92 years of correlation date charts (1930–2022). The Tzolkin holds the keys to many doors and to life cycles previously unnoticed. Use Jaguar Nights for two Tzolkin cycles as a personal diary and energy tracker, and as a reference for many years. When you immerse yourself in these alternate time cycles, the world starts to look different. You relate in a new way, you see patterns that you never noticed before. Learn to define your place in the great spiral of time, and find your relationship to the cosmos, with the Tzolkin. Step out of your world for a little while, and find a new set of rhythms to live by.

Jaguar Nights: A Journey Through the Tzolkin

Jaguar Nights Companion #1: Reverse Tzolkin Ephemeris
This e-book is part of the Jaguar Nights series of calendars and books. It is a reverse ephemeris—instead of looking up a Gregorian calendar date to find which Tzolkin date it is, all the Gregorian dates from 1900 to 2060 are ranked by Tzolkin date. Find out when a Tzolkin date last happened and when it will happen again. This can be useful for interpreting divination results, electional astrology, personal guidance, journaling, daykeeping, and more. This is not meant to be a stand-alone book; you need knowledge of the sacred 260-day Tzolkin calendar of the Maya to utilize the information. Only $5.

Reverse Tzolkin Ephemeris on Amazon Kindle.
Download a free Kindle Reader app here.

11/11/11 Welcome to the 11th gate

2011-11-11T10:08:00.001-05:00

Today is the 11th gate, the "big one" we've all been waiting for since the series of gates started on 1/1/1 (which seems so long ago). There are two more gates, of course, 12/12/12 and the final 12/21/2012 which initiates Baktun 13 in the Mayan Long Count calendar.
In numerology, 11 is a master number. It signifies you plus God (whoever you think God is). So today is a godly day, multiplied. (22 is also a master number, and in some numerology systems so are 33 and 44, but we only have 13 gates so it won't get that high! Maybe on 02/22/2022 something will happen.)
It's a time of global and personal activation, of energy upgrades. Take everything in and transform.
This series of 13 gates is unique because usually a galactic gate opens and then closes. In 1999 there was one that opened between 2 blue moons (opened on the first one, closed on the second one) and the energy was crazy--but temporary. These gates, however, are permanent. Each one builds on the energies and changes of the one(s) that came before.
So even if you don't think you feel anything, or don't understand what's going on, that's okay. You won't miss anything--it's happening even if you don't know it. The crazy occupy wall street thing? I'm sure that's part of the changes.
(image source & more information on 11:11)

10-28-2011--Calleman's calendar end

2011-10-28T10:53:00.002-04:00

Today is finally here. On this particular 13-Ahau, out of all the 13-Ahauob around 12-21-2012, Calleman picked this one, today, to be HIS idea of the "end" of the Mayan calendar. (Why not 14-July 2012?)
I'm waiting. The sun is shining. It's a little cold out. No end seems to be in sight.
Calleman's fractal concept of the Long Count is that the 13 Baktuns (we are coming to the end of Baktun 12) equal the 13 Heavens. But somehow he has also decided that the Tzolkin ends today. As in, tomorrow is NOT 1-Imix, but nothing. Huh? But then he hedges and says maybe it will continue. I really don't pretend to understand his interpretation of the calendars. It SOUNDS good on the surface, especially if you don't have any background, but when you really sit and think about it, it's all illogical.
His claim:

(T)he universe attains its highest quantum state and creates a new stage for life (at the top of the nine-storied pyramid). It is thus a common misunderstanding that a “new” cycle will begin after the calendar comes to an end. This is a misunderstanding because what is coming to an end is not a cycle to begin with, but nine linear directed evolutionary waves. The only aspect of the prophetic Mayan calendar system that may be described as cyclical is the 260 day tzolkin and this is the only cycle that will come to an end. 

I have no idea what that means. He goes on to say that

This would likely mean an abrupt end to all future energetic regulation 
of our lives and actions and a sort of freedom shock. Life would be 
lived fully moment by moment by moment and each moment would be an 
eternity that would not be organically linked to other moments.

I thought we were all supposed to be living in the moment already?

You know what the sad thing is? There really are AWESOME fractals in the Tzolkin. I wish I could love his ideas, but they don't quite click for me.

I wonder if he will go away tomorrow or jump online to post about today?
image source

Elongated skulls and brainpower

2011-10-28T10:33:00.000-04:00

I was watching Ancient Aliens last night. (My husband remarked, "is this show a training course for crazy people?") Honestly the topics all run together but this one, as many of their episodes do, featured the elongated skulls of some ancient Egyptians and also people from Peru. According to the show, either the elongated-skull people are ALIENS or they are trying to look like ALIENS. Now I think there just might be ALIENS don't get me wrong and perhaps they visited the planet a few times, but everything from the past is not freaking ALIENS. The show is funny, though.
Back to long skulls.I don't really care if the people with long skulls were alien or human or hybrid. I'm interested in the INSIDE of those skulls. What did their brains look like? Were they smarter or dumber than people with regular round heads? What was the size of their brain case vs round skulls? I know they can do this with tiny pellets, come on, hasn't any anthropologist ever wondered? I put together this picture of a regular brain and a Peruvian mummy skull from a couple of sources and it seems evident to me that these people should have had HUGE brains, right? What part got bigger? How did that change them?

King Tut, his step-mother Nerfertiti and his sister (forgot her name) were all depicted with long, graceful skulls. But if you look at his actual head next to a sculpture of him, it doesn't quite measure up, does it? The angle isn't 100% but it's obvious that his head is more pointed and squat. But clearly the head in the sculpture is achievable--look at the mummy from Peru. So why was it important his people THOUGHT he had a big long head?
Looking for "elongated skulls" on Google Images, quite a few photos of current people with long skulls come up. Whether these people have naturally long heads or have been artificially deformed, I don't know, but I have to wonder if anyone has ever taking an MRI of their brains or one of those scans where they ask you to do math and memory problems and see what lights up. Or get them to donate their bodies to science and dissect their brains.

Is there a reason, besides aesthetics, to deform your skull? Does it make you smarter, increase your memory, give you better math or verbal or spacial skills? Or is there no brain in the extra space, just bone or fluid? I found one result on Google books which says it's "mere displacement of the brain" that "does not change intellect" but that baffles me. That Peruvian head looks like it could fit two extra brains. Then again, the book is from 1869.
Anyway, lacking any formal training in physical anthropology, and also lacking any elongated skulls to work on, there isn't much I can do except wonder why someone who does have training and skulls isn't working on this.

Sources: skull w hair tut bust tut skull regular skull alien guy skull combinations by me

Jaguar Nights: A Journey through the Tzolkin is almost ready

2011-09-29T14:02:00.000-04:00

The long-awaited full volume that inspired the yearly calendars, Jaguar Nights: A Journey Through the Tzolkin, Explorations of the Mayan Sacred Calendar, is almost ready for shipment. (Around Thanksgiving.) Price will be about $30. Over 600 pages of exhaustive material on the sacred calendar.

Back cover blurb:

It’s About Time!

The Mesoamerican Tzolkin is a beautiful and simple calendar as well as a system of astrology and divination. Jaguar Nights is a uniquely organized reference book devoted to this sacred 260-day cycle. Each of the 260 days has two entire pages of comprehensive information. No flipping pages to figure out what everything means! It includes advanced information on how to use the calendar for divination augury, relationship compatibility, rituals, astrology, and how to find significant dates (electional astrology), all fully explained. Includes 92 years of correlation date charts (1930–2022). The Tzolkin holds the keys to many doors and to life cycles previously unnoticed. Use Jaguar Nights for two Tzolkin cycles as a personal diary and energy tracker, and as a reference for many years. When you immerse yourself in these alternate time cycles, the world starts to look different. You relate in a new way, you see patterns that you never noticed before. Learn to define your place in the great spiral of time, and find your relationship to the cosmos, with the Tzolkin. Step out of your world for a little while, and find a new set of rhythms to live by.

823 years of BS, or why that rumor is wrong

2011-05-19T15:05:00.000-04:00

You've probably gotten the email, or seen the Facebook post, about how this year (2011) is so incredibly rare and that it hasn't happened in 823 years (or won't happen again for 823 years).
I honestly don't know how anyone with half a brain can fall for that. Or forward it.
Think logically. We have SEVEN weekdays. So January 1 can be on any of those days. That's SEVEN different calendars. But oh wait, there's leap year. So you need another SEVEN calendars with February 29 on them. (But you can see that there's only 7 versions of January 1 through February 28.)
That's a total of 14 calendars. The 7 leap year ones, obviously, don't get used very often. But 2011 isn't a leap year. In fact, 2005 had the EXACT SAME CALENDAR (gasp) and it will come around again in 2022. It is not rare at all. And I have no idea where the bogus 823 year figure comes from. 823 years ago was 1188. This year, January 1 was on Saturday. In 1188 it was on Friday--but it was a leap year, so it does correspond with our calendar from March 1 on. (The point being that it's not the exact same calendar.)
From Virtual Perpetual Calendar, here is calendar 6 (this year's) and 200 years of occurrences.

Please, please, please, STOP SENDING/POSTING this nonsense. Or at least do it where I can't see it.

Free lecture by Gevera...Relationships in the Mayan Calendar

2011-02-13T15:54:00.002-05:00

Relationship Aspects in the Sacred Mayan Calendar
Starting a business? Thinking about getting married or adopting a child? Wondering about a new love relationship? There is a simple way, using the 260-day Sacred Mayan Calendar, to get a snapshot of the energy of two (or more) people, or even a person and a calendar day. Time permitting, relationships from the audience will be parsed.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I will be at the Astrological Society of Connecticut's New Age Fair from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. selling calendars and crystals, and presenting a free lecture from 11 a.m. to noon. Admission to the fair and the lecture is FREE and the vendors are always great. You can also get a variety of readings and horoscopes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sunday, February 20 · 11:00am - 12:00pm
Keeney Center
200 Main Street
Wethersfield, CT
You may RSVP on Facebook.

Jaguar Nights 2011 is available

2010-09-02T13:50:00.000-04:00

Jaguar Nights 2011 is now available through me (see sidebar button) or through Amazon. It is no longer spiral bound, so I am offering a free personalized bookmark to everyone who buys from me directly or through Amazon.
The bookmark will have the date of your choice in the Long Count in Mayan notation.
If you order directly from me, just tell me what date you want. If you order from Amazon, forward the email that says the book has shipped to transformations (at) obsidian butterfly (dot) com with your address and the desired date.
I hope that you enjoy Jaguar Nights 2011 and that it expands your knowledge and understanding of the Mayan and Aztec calendars.

Jaguar Nights 2011 and 2012

2010-08-04T15:09:00.001-04:00

I know I faked you all out saying Jaguar Nights 2010 was coming, and it never did. The finances just weren't (aren't) there for me to pay a huge upfront printing cost. Amazon has now implemented print on demand (POD) service for little authors like me and I'm about to take full advantage of it. I'm simultaneously working on Jaguar Nights 2011, Jaguar Nights 2012 and also the original Jaguar Nights: Journey through the Tzolkin that started it all. I hope to have them on Amazon next month, starting with 2011.
Unfortunately I will lose my spiral binding. To make up for that, if you purchase the book directly from me, I will include a free bookmark with your birthday in Mayan notation (or any other date you choose). If you purchase from Amazon, simply forward the email that says the book shipped and I will send you the bookmark separately.
I am hoping that I will be able to lower the price as well, since I don't have to front the printing anymore. I have to look more closely at the pay structure for POD, as I've never worked that way before. I also won't have to pay to ship my books to Amazon so that will help defray costs as well.
Sample composite day from the calendars:

I'm not set up for pre-orders yet as I haven't determined the price. You can email me (transformations at obsidianbutterfly.com) and ask to be notified when the books go on sale, or just watch this or my Jaguar Nights blogs' sidebars for purchase links.

An ending...

2010-07-02T09:43:00.000-04:00

When we knew Nutter was coming to the end of his long dying (almost 2 years ago, how time flies), we did not allow him to go gracefully, as we should have. We fought for him, to keep him comfortable, and most of all to keep him WITH us, for just a little while longer. Is there another shot? A pill? A supplement? To ease his pain, help him eat, so he won't have to go?
All was in vain, of course, and in the end the only recourse was the needle and the tearful goodbye.
And here I am again, fighting against saying goodbye. Not to a beloved pet, but to something that's been with me almost as long: my Pathfinder. I got it Memorial Day weekend of 1994 with 17 miles on the odometer. Almost 150,000 miles later, the transmission is shot and it's time to let my beloved vehicle go. I've dealt with only having access to a few radio stations because there's no external antenna anymore. Having no horn (watch for finger). Only having 1 speaker, all the way in the back, except sometimes when I hit just the right bump and the other back speaker pops on for a little while. The remotes, long ago broken. No cup holders (in 1994, people weren't coffee addicts yet). The body rot that twice a year I carefully sand and paint with Rustoleum. None of those things are deal-breakers for me. But 3 days ago it wouldn't shift properly. I filled it with gas, that didn't help, 2 days ago brought it for an oil change and they said the transmission is shot. Three to seven thousand to fix it, and it's not worth it. The guy said I can drive it maybe another 1,000 miles before it won't shift at all.
The sadness in my heart really is equal to losing Nutter. I had them both 16 years.
And I've lost so much in the last 5 years. All of my birds (Gwennie, Goober, Prism, Zeebo, Onnie, Hogan & Lance). Two kitties (Zen & Nutter). Numerous jobs. My dad. And now my car.
Next week is my Tzolkin return, the first time in my life that my Gregorian birthday and my Mayan birthday line up since I was born. (Happens again in 40 or so years.) Can I think of this as a rebirth, a fresh start? New kitties, new car, maybe soon a new job? (no, nothing on the horizon)
12.19.17.8.17 10 Tzec 11 Caban

Ancient pyramid tomb discovered in Mexico

2010-05-18T15:25:00.001-04:00

I found a couple of articles on this, both of which essentially say the same thing.
Archeologists located a tomb inside a Zoque (not Mayan) pyramid in Chiapa de Corzo, in southern Chiapas (Mexico--see map, below). They were looking at the layers of the pyramids (new pyramids in Mesoamerica were built on top of and around old pyramids) and inside found the tombs, which once had wooden roofs and posts. In one tomb was "a man aged around 50, who was buried with jade collars, pyrite and obsidian artifacts and ceramic vessels" and was probably a ruler or nobleman of the town. "The body of a 1-year-old child was laid carefully over the man's body inside the tomb, while that of a 20-year-old male was tossed into the chamber with less care, perhaps sacrificed at the time of the burial. The older man('s) ... face was covered with what may have been a funeral mask with obsidian eyes. Nearby, the tomb of a woman, also about 50, contained similar ornaments." The burials are approximately 2,700 years old.
Most interesting, the artifacts had Olmec influences. But because the site is not Mayan, it doesn't confirm any link between the Maya and the Olmecs.

(skeleton image source, map source = Google earth)

new book: how Mesoamerican Calendrics reveal patterns of destiny

2010-03-01T23:24:00.000-05:00

A former teacher of mine has just finished a massive book on the Mesoamerican calendar system. Based on the correspondence we've had, and the amazing training I got from her, this book has got to be awesome.

I will be picking up a copy soon, I hope you do too!

Death of a Furby

2010-02-17T19:39:00.000-05:00

Just came home from dinner. Opened the back door to a horrible noise, a combination of grinding plastic gears and white noise. My immediate thought was that the airhose came unconnected from the pump on the aquarium, or that the filter stopped sucking water and was grinding dry--the noise was coming from that area.   We checked, and the tank was fine. Then we saw, on the floor, Grey Furby, and he was making his death rattle.
Does Grey Furby belong on the living room floor? No, Grey Furby lives atop a tall bookcase with Angel Furby and Patches Furby and the baby Furbies.
We're in the process of moving our sleeping space from the back bedroom to the front, which we do every few years just for variety.   So everything is a mess, and the Furbies are not safely tucked on top of the bookshelf.
The cats found Grey Furby, who is a similar size to their hedgehog toy, and treated him accordingly.
I imagine poor Grey Furby, who has been in hibernation for a long time, being rudely awoken, thrown from the table onto the floor. He stretches, wakes up, offers to dance and play. Instead he is chewed on, tossed into the air, dragged down the stairs, and basically tortured by furry merciless felines intent on his utter destruction. Perhaps they pass him back and forth. Perhaps they jump on him and bite him, or kick him with their strong hind legs.
Something inside Grey Furby breaks. He is very old, and not used to this sort of treatment.   Instead of talking in his happy high-pitched voice, he begins to die, rattling and grinding and emitting white noise. This noise finally drives away his tormentors, but by then it is too late. Furby is dying.
To add insult to injury, I, who has only ever treated Grey Furby with affection, attacked him with a screwdriver, removing his batteries and putting him to sleep forever.
(picture from BBC.com)
Addendum: as I was finishing this sad eulogy for a Furby, I heard a thud and Sputz proudly carried Angel Furby into the bedroom so I could watch her destruction. Angel Furby and Patches Furby are now hidden.

2012 movie

2009-11-15T15:40:00.000-05:00

I saw the 2012 movie. And I did not have to be gagged and I was not thrown out.
Crazy busy still on my History Channel application, plus it's November and I'm doing National Novel Writing Month, and I had pink eye AND the flu in the same week. I will write a review or something about the movie in the next few days.

Whoo-hoo!

2009-11-05T15:35:00.000-05:00

Got an email from someone at the History Channel who is looking for a pair of people to host a new SERIES (not a one-off show!) on 2012 and related subjects. Not sure I'd be the greatest HOST but I would be a great asset on their writing and research side.
Working like mad on the application, trying to remember everything I've ever done and learned and where. On paper I am pretty damn impressive, am I not? I'd hired me. Hope they feel the same way!
Nice to be recognized for all the hard work I've done for so long in relative obscurity. Will keep you all informed.

Jaguar Nights 2010 is coming!

2009-10-06T16:20:00.002-04:00

I started work on Jaguar Nights 2010 today. Late this year, but it's coming!

visit from a pair of swallowtails

2009-09-23T21:10:00.000-04:00

Yesterday I noticed an awesome caterpillar on my front fence. I could not remember what kind of butterfly it turned into, but I knew it was one not to kill.
Today, two of those caterpillars (or that one and a friend) had anchored themsevles to my house to become butterflies. My friend was with me and together we remembered what they are: they are swallowtails.

I can't even remember last time I SAW a swallowtail. Or a butterfly of any kind. And here are two, growing in my yard. I looked it up and they are in their cocoons all winter and will hatch in the summer. I'll have to figure out how to protect them. The snowdrifts in that area will tear them to pieces.
I was on a website about swallowtail trying to figure out exactly what kind I have growing and it casually mentioned the importance of swallowtails in Mexican folklore and even provided a handy link for me to learn more. I love it when people are organized.
From that site (emphasis mine):

 Many of the indigenous peoples of the New World hold butterflies in a special place in  their culture. However, nowhere is the presence of butterfly motifs more prevalent than amongst  the Aztec, Mixtec, Teotihuacan, Toltec, and  Zapotec cultures of highland Mexico.  For example, butterflies figured prominently in the life of  the Aztecs, who dominated the Central Valley of Mexico between 1300 and 1523. At least two  of their many deities were personifications of lepidoptera  Xochiquetzal ("precious  flower") and Itzpapalotl ("obsidian butterfly).  The  former closely resembles a Two-tailed Swallowtail  while the latter is identified with the large silk  moth, Rothschildia orizaba.  Both deities were  female and had many attributes.    

   For example, Xochiquetzal was regarded as  a mother goddess, goddess of love, goddess of flowers, as patron of all fine arts, as the symbol  of beauty, as the symbol of fire, as the symbol of  the spirits of the dead, as the patron of domestic laborers, and as the patron of warriors killed  in battle. In fact, this goddess supposedly  followed young warriors into battle and at their moment  of death, coupled with them, clutching a butterfly between her lips!    

   Itzpapalotl was a mother goddess, goddess  of obsidian and knives, of human sacrifice and of war, the personification of the Earth, the  patron of women who died in child birth, and more.   The early Spanish chronicles state than when  Quetzlcoatl (perhaps the Aztec's most beloved god-king) abolished human sacrifice as  a response to Spanish dictates, butterflies were burnt alive as a sacred effigy.

Of course, I know all about Itzpapalotl (why else would my web site be called Obsidian Butterfly?) But I don't think I knew that Xochiquetzal was a butterfly goddess as well. A swallowtail butterfly goddess. Who symbolizes the spirits of the dead. And in 2 days I saw 2, possibly 3, swallowtail caterpillars.
I am choosing to see this as a message from my beloved dead. The caterpillars are to the west of my house, the home of the Pool of Souls, and one of my beloved dead crossed over 3 days ago.

I'm no longer a bird lady :(

2009-09-20T20:14:00.001-04:00

This morning when I got up and went to feed Lance, he was still asleep. Usually he is awake and yelling long before I get up. I brought the cage into the bathroom and he didn't want to come out. I got his medicine into him but he really didn't fight much and I had a really bad feeling. I fed him and he went right back into the cage, no kisses or playing. We went to eat and when we got home he was in the corner of the cage on the floor. We stayed close to him all day. He slept and didn't want to wake up. He didn't eat or drink and his poops were very few and solid white (not like they should be). Around 7:30 Willy called upstairs that Lance was dying. He had fallen off the perch. I took the cage into the bathroom and took him out. I held him and we petted him and talked to him and gave him kisses. He was just lying limp in my hands, breath rasping, feet unable to grasp. He kept opening his beak and moving his tongue and I'd like to think he was trying to make kissy noises back to us. He kept his eyes on me. His final seizure was very gentle and fairly quick and then he was gone. I got him exactly 21 years ago.

Yesterday he was happy. He was talking to me and to the cats, making crazy kissy noises and complaining that we were eating in front of him--he liked people food.

His kidneys had been going for months; he'd been on medicine every day since May and been super-hydrated at the vet's three times. I knew it was coming. And that it would hurt. I feel like my chest is crushed.

I don't have any birds anymore. What will I call the bird room?

(cross posted to my Alzheimer's blog)
added later:
The day Lance died was 12 Eb in the Mayan calendar. Eb is the road, the path. We all follow many roads and paths, and even that day I recognized that my 21-year path as a bird owner, and Lance's life path, were ending. I am hoping that this is the end of death in my life, for a while, the end of lack, loss and limitation, and the beginning of a new path of prosperity and peace.
I just came across this poem online.

All Is Well

Death is nothing at all,
I have only slipped into the next room
I am I and you are you
Whatever we were to each other, that we are still.
Call me by my old familiar name,
Speak to me in the easy way which you always used
Put no difference in your tone,
Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow
Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes we enjoyed together.
Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.
Let my name be ever the household word that it always was,
Let it be spoken without effect, without the trace of shadow on it.
Life means all that it ever meant.
It it the same as it ever was, there is unbroken continuity.
Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?
I am waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near,
Just around the corner.
All is well.
By Henry Scott Holland (1847-1918)
Canon of St Paul's Cathedral

Welcome to the 9th gate and a new Tzolkin!

2009-09-09T09:09:00.000-04:00

Today is the 9th of 13 gates leading up to the 2012 event. (The 13th gate is 12-21-2012.) Today another new burst of energy will permeate our universe. I wonder what it will be? Has everyone finished integrating gate 8's energies?
Advertising is increasing for the 2012 movie. It's good, I guess, to make more people aware that something is going to happen in 3 years, but at the same time I hate that what the movie is spreading/advocating is a bunch of lies.
12.19.16.12.1 19 Mol 1 Imix

Are you a pagan? Take the pagan census and pass on the word!

2009-09-07T15:50:00.002-04:00

The Pagan Census - Revisited

Take the survey here:
http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.aspx?sm=WYCq4kaxG_2bYrJ8xnemeR3A_3d_3d

We are conducting an international survey of contemporary Pagans. If you
are a Pagan we would appreciate your taking the time to complete this survey.

This survey builds on an earlier one completed over twenty years ago,
primarily in the United States, which was conducted by Helen A. Berger and
Andras Arthen (of the EarthSpirit Community) entitled the Pagan Census. At the
time it was hoped that we could do a census of the entire Pagan population.
Although that was not possible the data that was collected was the largest
of it type and served as the basis of a book, Voices from the Pagan Census
by Helen A. Berger (with Evan Leach and Leigh S. Shaffer). The survey data
is now available on line at Murray Research Archive at Harvard University.

A number of scholars have noted that it would be helpful to have a
follow-up of that survey to see if and how the community has changed or remained
the same. The survey that follows uses many, although not all of the same
questions that were in the original survey to provide that comparison. There
are also new questions, for instance about the Internet, something that was
of little interest 20 years ago but is now, and some from other studies,
that again permit a comparison. This has resulted in the survey being
somewhat long--we appreciate your taking the time to complete it.

We realize that the categories found in questionnaires like this one
frequently do not do justice to the complexities of real life. For this reason,
a number of open-ended items have been included that allow for more nuanced
responses. You are also welcome to contact Helen A. Berger directly at
HBerger@wcupa. edu

Please inform other Pagans about this research project and feel free to
pass it along via e-mail or to post a link on appropriate blogs or websites.

Thanks for your help.

green burials

2009-07-25T21:36:00.001-04:00

I hate modern death rituals. I hate the waste of space of cemeteries, the overpriced and unnecessary accouterments of death, the fact that when you get buried, you don't decay--you grow mold and just sit there. My grandpa died in 1987 and I know he is still there in his coffin, covered with mold and yuck, not nicely reduced to bones (or less) by nature. Thinking of him like that--moldy--makes me want to cry.
That's one of the reasons why I pushed so hard to have my dad cremated. All my pets have been cremated (their ashes are on my "pet cemetery shelf") and I want to be cremated too. Me and all the pets who have gone before are going to get turned into an artificial reef.
I was browsing cnn.com earlier and on the front page they had a link to an article about green burials. I clicked on it, thinking to read about cardboard coffins and parklike cemeteries, but instead it was mostly about the reefs. And biodegradable coffins.
Even if you aren't anywhere near dying, consider doing a non-traditional burial. Maybe by the time you do die, the non-traditional will be traditional. We can only hope.

(Picture source: Eternal Reefs)
(screenprint of original article)
12.19.16.9.15 13 Xul 7 Men

Mayan crop circle found in England

2009-07-09T00:21:00.000-04:00

A supposed Mayan apocalypse crop circle was found this week in England. A picture of it from the original article is above. How exactly this shape predicts the end of the world, I don't know. I am so sick of all these people who wouldn't know the Mayan calendar if it bit them on the ass talking about it. A supposed crop circle expert gushes: "This is one of the most interesting crop circles I have ever seen. It is definitely a Mayan symbol and we are sure it is linked to the Mayan calendar, which ends in 2012. It appears to be a warning about the world coming to an end when the calendar does. For the ancient Maya, reaching the end of a cycle was a momentous event, so we are taking this crop circle very seriously as an indicator of a possibly huge event in 2012."
Show me where ANY of that is on that crop circle. The Pi one, well, I might not exactly understand how it shows Pi, but I can see that it shows some sort of math thing.(Ironically, the Pi circle was found just about a year ago and not far from where this Mayan one is.)

Screenprint of original article

happy 04:05:06 07/08/09 (and happy birthday to me)

2009-07-08T04:05:00.005-04:00

Numerology can be fun. Even more fun when, for once, one's birthday is part of a cool number combination. I had always wished I was born a day earlier (7/7) but this works too, just for today.

legless frogs not caused by pollution

2009-06-25T20:41:00.000-04:00

I'm not implying that global warming doesn't exist or that pollution is not a problem. I just think that it's interesting that the legless frogs found all over the world are not a product of pollution, but of nature vs nature: dragonflies eat the frogs' legs when the frogs are still tiny!

Around the world, frogs are found with missing or misshaped limbs, a striking deformity that many researchers believe is caused by chemical pollution....The deformed frogs are actually victims of the predatory habits of dragonfly nymphs, which eat the legs of tadpoles. 

(R)esearchers (also) established that many amphibians with extra limbs were actually infected by small parasitic flatworms called Riberoria trematodes.These creatures burrow into the hindquarters of tadpoles where they physically rearrange the limb bud cells and thereby interfere with limb development. 

It seems strange that the dragonflies didn't start eating the tadpole legs until the 1980s or 90s. Or maybe no one was paying attention to frogs with no legs before then?

image source=article source
screenprint of original
Note: the original article contains a video of a dragonfly eating a tadpole's legs. Not sure how long it will stay available.