Shame Pile

Dead Island's Point of No Return

noreply@blogger.com (Cloud Atlas) — Tue, 25 Oct 2011 23:51:00 +0000

Oh man, was I pissed.

I had invested a good chunk of time in Dead Island, even starting over because I realized I had crafted a character who was incapable of managing the teaming zombies in the streets of Moresby.

Imagine my reaction when my save game glitched just as I passed the "point of no return" and moved into Act IV. Glitched in a way that prevented me from ever finishing the game.

Like I said, I was pissed.

Spoilers ahead...

What happened?

To complete the No Time to Talk quest in Act III, you must agree to take the cure for the zombie plague to the prison.The game makes it perfectly clear that you cannot go back from that point, that the rest of the game will take place in the prison. I accepted that, went to the prison, waited for a save point, and then shut down.

When I fired it back up a day later, I was back at the resort.

I traveled to the trigger point for Act IV, but it wouldn't work. The point of no return now kept me from finishing the game.

A quick perusal of the Internet told me I'm not the only one to have this problem.

A quick perusal of common sense tells me that this would not happen if the game simply let me save whenever I want! Instead, it autosaves to a single file. So good luck if that file is corrupted.

Isn't there a saying about putting all your eggs in one basket? Oh yeah: "Let me save my game whenever I want."

Solution

I jumped into a game with a friend, and when I jumped out, it automatically loaded up the prison in Act IV.

Whatever. I'm not going to look that gift horse in the mouth.

Quote of the Day: Justin McElroy, Again

noreply@blogger.com (Cloud Atlas) — Fri, 07 Oct 2011 04:10:00 +0000

Justin McElroy tries his hand at some Justin McElroy slash fiction:

One day Justin and King of Queens were at the ice cream store.
'I love pie,' said King of Queens.
'So do I,' said Justin.
And then they blasted each other in the butts.
(MBMBaM 74)

Call me an elitist, but Justin McElroy is some kind of butt humor maestro.

Half-Life 3 Protesters in Bellevue

noreply@blogger.com (Cloud Atlas) — Thu, 11 Aug 2011 23:44:00 +0000

For the second straight day, protesters have picketed outside Valve's Bellevue, WA, headquarters. Their demand? Release Half-Life 3.

By "protesters," I mean two dudes with cardboard signs. And by "picketed," I mean sat on lawn chairs until Valve bigwig Gabe Newell came out and posed for pictures with them.

Kudos, guys! But you should really be asking for Half-Life 2: Episode 3. That's the part they left dangling. We'll never see a proper Half-Life 3.

(via Kotaku: Day 1. Day 2)

August Hiatus

noreply@blogger.com (Cloud Atlas) — Tue, 02 Aug 2011 05:30:00 +0000

Posting will be somewhat light for the month of August—much to the chagrin of all none of Shame Pile's loyal readers—as I try to get a handle on a different writing project. (*cough*rehab*cough*)

I'll check in from time-to-time, and will be back full time once I head downtown to PAX at the end of the month.

My summer vacation.

(Image from The Oatmeal. Go read it, dummy.)

Best Game Ever: Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time

noreply@blogger.com (Cloud Atlas) — Sat, 30 Jul 2011 03:42:00 +0000

When I first encountered Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time, little did I know that Jake Gyllenhaal was about to lead me on the finest cinematic experience since Citizen Kane...

Ha! Just kidding. That movie blew. I'm talking about the 2003 video game, which is one of the finest ever made.

Early on in the game, a gang of palace guards confront the Prince. I hit the attack button, and instead of merely swinging his sword, the Prince vaulted over the hapless guard's head and impaled him from behind. All slow-motion, Matrix-style.

Was that awesome? Yes it was. Was I hooked to the point of playing until the wee hours of the morning for several days straight? Yes I was.

I've returned to the game several times over the years—one of the key indicators of a classic in my mind—and even purchased the game again on PC once I bid a final farewell to my GameCube and Wii. The Sands of Time is a near-perfect marriage of gameplay and story.

You play as the unnamed son of a Persian king in the mythical past. The king conquers an Indian maharajah, taking his daughter, Farah, a treacherous vizier, and two magical artifacts: The Sands of Time and The Dagger of Time. Once back in his homeland, the king is tricked by the vizier. The Prince unwittingly releases the Sands of Time from their hourglass, and they destroy everyone in the castle, except the Prince, Farah, and the Vizier. The rest of the game involves the Prince's adventures trying to restore the sand to the hourglass and stop the Vizier's nefarious plans.

Something's not quite right here...

The Start Game screen shows the Prince sneaking out the rain into an unknown person's opulent window. This is located somewhere away from the game's arid desert setting, and it's implied that the Prince is relating the events of the game to whoever resides in that room. When you die, for example, he says in voiceover "No, no! That's not how the story goes!" You get the impression that he's relating the tale to loved ones from the safe remove of the future.

But that's not the case.

Near the game's climax, Farah plunges to her death. Unsurprisingly, the Prince and Farah have grown to love one another through the course of the game. In his grief, the prince plunges the Dagger of Time into the the Sands of Time and reverses time to the night before his father invaded her father's kingdom.

He's sneaking into Farah's window and frantically telling his unlikely story before the game happens in order to save her life. The Vizier busts in and confronts the Prince, and the final battle takes place before any of the events of the game.

When I saw how neatly the story and even the game mechanics folded back in on themselves (every death is simply a poorly remembered part of the tale), I fell in love with the game all over again. This was a twist that worked on every level, one which M. Night Shyamalan wishes he had thought of.

It's not in any way a realistic story, but it's a story well-told. Few games spin a tale so well.

The game plays smoothly throughout, with an elegant combat system with enough special moves to keep things interesting. The Prince is acrobatic and is able to do things most people can't, such as running along walls, and he uses those skills when he fights. He flips over his opponents or launches at them from a wall or even uses the Dagger of Time to stun them. It's all very organic, and hit the sweet spot of difficulty for me: easy to learn, hard to win, but never too hard.

The game's biggest strength, of course, is not combat but platforming. There's so much leaping over spiked pits, dodging swinging blades, running along walls, and swinging from ropes, that you might be forgiven for forgetting the story altogether. I have not seen it done better in a 3D game, although Assassin's Creed's free-form parkour does rival it for pure fun. (Both games are from Ubisoft.)

And I must not forget the Dagger of Time. It allows the Prince to reverse time for a short period, depending on how much "power" he has acquired for it through the game. It does not make you invincible, but it helps you try that badly timed leap again without having to start the level over from the beginning. I found it particularly useful in intense battles where I was running low on health. I could take back that last blow that put me near zero and off my feet and rethink my strategy.

The game shows its age in its graphics, which were ground-breaking at the time. I remember being awed when I finally emerged from a nighttime making my way through a dark castle to seeing the sun rising over a ruined city and misty mountains in the background. Breathtaking. It still works, but pales in comparison to modern games.

Ubisoft has never really been able to recapture the magic of this game, though its Prince of Persia games always sell relatively well. The two immediate sequels to Sands of Time took the series into much darker territory and changed some of the key game mechanics. Even the 2010 "reimagining" of the story left a lot to be desired. Fun game, but more on rails than its predecessors.

Will they or won't they?
(they will)

These sequels don't have the heart, the charm, or the wit of their predecessor.

Farah and the Prince keep up a faux-hostile repartee throughout the game. It's light-hearted, but never forgets the danger they are in. That's a surprisingly hard trick to pull off.

I remember that this game was recommended to me by a friend, who also recommended Beyond Good and Evil, which I played at the same time. Beyond Good and Evil was fun, but ultimately a cutesy trifle compared to The Sands of Time.

Pros: Fun, well-told story; superior combat mechanics; clever puzzles and platforms; time-rewind mechanic

Cons: Graphics are dated

Verdict: What are you waiting for? It's available on Steam and PlayStation Network and a bunch of other places.

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Check out more Shame Pile reviews, if you're so inclined.

Fat, Ugly or Slutty?

noreply@blogger.com (Cloud Atlas) — Thu, 28 Jul 2011 06:28:00 +0000

As part of the first generation that truly grew up with video games (2600 4 Life!), I spend a lot of time trying to convince my contemporaries that gaming is more than a kids' pastime. I truly believe that there are more than a few games that are worthy of occupying an adult person's time.

Hell, I stand my ground in the face of a society that thinks, as one friend of mine does, that it's perfectly acceptable to make Two and a Half Men appointment viewing while mocking me for spending time playing Red Dead Redemption. Come on. We should be better than that.

Sometimes, however, I can see what leads some people to think this way. It's the same reason I don't play too many online games with people I don't know: bile-spewing dudes behind a shield of anonymity.

With that in mind, I'd like to take a moment to address all of the young men who make a site like Fat, Ugly or Slutty necessary:

Fuck you. Fuck every last one of you, right in the poop chute.

Case in point

I think I'm speaking your language, except that I spelled everything correctly and I forgot to include any gender, racial, or ethnic slurs. Sorry about that.

And sadly, that blog is only showing the misogynistic part of online gaming. Whoever you are, expect to receive a sound tongue-lashing featuring the worst slurs you can imagine if you have the temerity to be better than a stranger at Modern Warfare 2. "Faggot," "nigger," and "cunt" seem to be among the most popular choices, presumably because they are more likely to get the speaker the most attention, which is the whole point.

Trash-talking is part of competition, but when people are face-to-face, it takes on a more good-natured quality. On the Internet, the shield of anonymity makes men mighty!

Gabe and Tycho put it much more succinctly:

Duke Nukem Forever Review: It's a Game

noreply@blogger.com (Cloud Atlas) — Tue, 26 Jul 2011 03:58:00 +0000

After a pitched battle early in Duke Nukem Forever, our hero shouts "I am the duke! I am A-number one!" That gets a thumbs-up from me because it's a quote from Escape from New York. For you youngsters out there, that's only the best movie ever made.

In fact, several of Duke's post-combat ejaculations made me chuckle for a moment.

Thus ends the positive portion of this review.

For a game that spent fourteen years in development hell, Duke Nukem Forever feels strangely rushed and, in the end, not worth the wait. None of its elements feel up to modern standards, and the end result is a mediocre first-person shooter.

Needless to say, you play as Duke Nukem, a steroid-addled meathead who is nonetheless well-equipped to repel an invasion of pig-like aliens. You solve a few puzzles, admire yourself a lot, and shoot your way through waves of aliens with a variety of weapons.

Duke Nukem Forever adds a few modern elements to its classic first-person shooter gameplay. For example, it features regenerating health ("ego" in the game), so no foraging for health packs. And you can only carry two weapons at a time.

Surprisingly, the game features a lot of puzzle-solving. This makes for a welcome break from the combat, but the limited physics engine and the clunky interaction you have with your environment often make this aspect of the game frustrating rather than fun.

Beyond that, it's very old school: fight your way through a level, kill the boss, repeat. The enemies look sharper than they did 14 years ago (though not as good as many other games), but that's about the only difference.

Unfortunately, it also suffers from old school problems as well. Duke often gets stuck trying to walk through a doorway with allies, for example. And don't get me started about the unconscionably long load times...

But Duke's all about the attitude, right? Fair enough. Duke Nukem 3D was essentially a Doom clone with dick jokes and misogyny thrown into the mix.

Those were the days...

Duke Nukem Forever throws down the gross-humor gauntlet from the very beginning, opening on Duke's frothy stream of piss splashing into a urinal, and it never really lets up (until you press a button to stop it! Ba-dump-bump!). You increase your ego by admiring yourself in the mirror or stopping at the weight bench, and you take steroids and drink beer for combat boosts. All the while, the dick and tit jokes never really stop.

I'm not above all that. I liked the humor in Bulletstorm for the most part. This just didn't do it for me.

It would be churlish to complain about the game's immature sense of humor. The developers clearly were aiming to piss off people who didn't get it. And sometimes they hit the mark and made me chuckle. For the most part, though, I've grown out of the demographic they're aiming for in the past 14 years.

In better times...

However, one level takes the humor to a weirdly dark place. In an underground, visceral alien lair, Duke runs into several "babes" who had been kidnapped and impregnated by aliens. Duke has to kill them before horrible monsters erupt from their bellies. You had last seen these girls giggling and giving Duke (unseen) two-girl blow jobs; now he's euthanizing them. Then he goes on to slap giant breast-like growths on the walls for ego points and to fight an end boss with three giant breasts.

Ha-ha?

Duke Nukem Forever presents the welcome return of a beloved obnoxious icon, but it doesn't give him a worthy platform to ~~urinate~~ stand on.

Pros: Juvenile humor, and plenty of it; old-school FPS action.

Cons: Mediocre, glitchy gameplay; uninspired enemies; long load times.

Verdict: Skip it. Or if nostalgia gets the better of you, wait a year until you can pick it up for half price.

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Check out more Shame Pile reviews, if you're so inclined.

A Jesus-Based Approach to Game Design

noreply@blogger.com (Cloud Atlas) — Sat, 23 Jul 2011 04:03:00 +0000

Wrong! I'm pretty sure Jesus has an Xbox 360.

Over at Kotaku, Owen Good wrote up his experiences at the 2011 Christian Game Developers Conference. Did you know that was a thing? Neither did I.

It's worth a read. It offers a peek into a world that isn't often covered in gaming news, that of the devout Christian game developer. That's not my world*, but I found the piece interesting nonetheless.

The conference was not about designing Christian games, but rather it focused on game designers all over the industry who happen to be Christian. The problems they face being openly faithful, how that can inform their work, and, most importantly, how to make good games.

Cool! I'm all about good games.

Honestly, I don't care what the story of a game is about as long as it's told well and it's fun to play. But as a rule of thumb, if you start on a religious (or political or social) soapbox instead of letting the story take you there, you're going to turn off your audience.

The conference-goers do mention some Christian games, including the controversial Left Behind series.

I have a morbid fascination with end-of-the-world stories, but you would never catch me playing a Left Behind game for the same reason you wouldn't catch me reading the Left Behind books. I don't have a problem with telling a Christian version of the Apocalypse, but this version is just so smug and superior. I get the creepy feeling that many of the fans are rooting for this to happen, and that's no fun.

In the end, I think my advice for Christian game developers is the same as my advice for other game developers: Make me a good game. I'll pass judgment on that.

*For the record, I worship the bone god Umptysquat. Now go about your business.

Duke Nukem Keeps You Waiting

noreply@blogger.com (Cloud Atlas) — Thu, 21 Jul 2011 05:09:00 +0000

What's with the crazy load times, Duke Nukem Forever?

Is it some sort of meta-commentary on the game's development? You waited fourteen years for this game, why not wait a little longer? That's not funny!

I have to say, I'm on the fence about this game. And waiting 30 seconds or more to respawn each of the 20 times I'm killed by a mini-boss is not helping its case.

Okay, so maybe the "getting killed 20 times" part is about me being a terrible player. And maybe 30 seconds doesn't seem that long, but it adds up. When you're facing a particularly difficult enemy, you can spend more time watching load screens than playing.

I'm not a programmer, but these seem unacceptably long for a game released in 2011.

I know, as games get bigger and bigger, and the consoles don't advance to the next generation, longer loading times are inevitable. Hell, the Xbox version of L.A. Noire came on three discs, mainly because that platform doesn't have a high-capacity Blu-Ray player.

But man, the loading screens in Duke Nukem Forever are looooong. They try to make up for it with some (sporadically) funny gameplay tips on them. "If you fall from a great height, it's probably your own fault" is my favorite.

No, Women Don't Enjoy Games More Than Sex

noreply@blogger.com (Cloud Atlas) — Tue, 19 Jul 2011 04:31:00 +0000

What won't men say to justify not getting laid?

The results of a survey have been bouncing around the Web the last few days, usually accompanied with a breathless headline along these lines:

"WOMEN LOVE GAMES MORE THAN SEX!"

Well, that got my attention. Unfortunately, that's not what the survey says, as far as I can tell.

Here's how it breaks down: For some reason, Doritos (I know—I don't get it, either) surveyed 2,052 people about their online gaming habits. They then asked the women who play online games if they enjoyed specific activities:

84% enjoyed gaming
75% enjoyed taking a bath
71% enjoyed shopping
70% enjoyed sex
62% enjoyed working out

They didn't ask them if they enjoyed any one thing more than any of the others. It is pretty interesting that more women gamers said they like gaming than said they liked having sex, but the survey did not ask if they preferred gaming over sex (or long, hot baths, for that matter). I'm guessing that percentage would be much, much lower.

Personally, I think two far more interesting data points came out of this survey:

1. Thirty percent of women don't enjoy sex? There could be a million reasons for that, but that number seems high. I wonder what the answer would be if they posed the same question to men?

2. Doritos apparently thinks the top interests of women are baths, shopping, working out, sex, and games. What, no cooking and cleaning? Oy vey, Doritos.

An Angry Birds Movie. Why the Hell Not?

noreply@blogger.com (Cloud Atlas) — Sat, 16 Jul 2011 02:04:00 +0000

I mean they're making movies out of board games, carnival rides, and icky toys from the 70s. Why not a video game that has no story beyond "pigs steal eggs, birds kill themselves trying to take them back?"

It is insanely popular, though, which sort of makes the movie adaptation inevitable.

Variety confirmed recently that an Angry Birds movie is on the way:

Development on an "Angry Birds" movie is taking flight now that Rovio has tapped former Marvel Studios chairman David Maisel as a special adviser to the company behind the blockbuster mobile game.

Maisel was instrumental in turning Marvel's film division into a standalone shingle, securing $525 million in credit for the company in 2005 to develop and finance its own slate of pics, beginning with "Iron Man" and "The Incredible Hulk." He also facilitated the talks that resulted in Marvel's $4 billion sale to Disney.

This guy Maisel packs some serious firepower, so this thing will happen. Just color me skeptical that there's a story worth putting on the big screen to be derived from Angry Birds.

And given Maisel's track record with Marvel, does that mean we can expect to see Angry Birds Origins: Black Bird in a couple of years? God, I hope so.

Or maybe more movies based on puzzle games with no stories: Tetris, Bejeweled, and Peggle.

* * *
UPDATE: It's already happening! Space Invaders is heading to the big screen.

Oy.

Social Networks and Games

noreply@blogger.com (Cloud Atlas) — Wed, 13 Jul 2011 19:07:00 +0000

It's been a big couple of weeks for social networks and games:

First off, MySpace was sold for a paltry $35 million. That's not really gaming related, but damn! She was worth $560 million just six years ago. Things change. Think about that, companies that are putting all your eggs in the Facebook basket. *cough*Farmville*cough*

Welcome back,
old Friendster

And speaking of past-their-prime social networks, Friendster is apparently now a "gaming platform." It's owned by an Indonesian "online payment" company that is going to use the network to serve up games to the Southeast Asian market. Beats working at Burger King, I guess.

Finally, check out World of Fourcraft. This is a FourSquare hack that works with Google Maps to turn New York City into a giant Risk board. You ally yourself with one of the five boroughs and then check in as many areas as you can. The borough with the most check-ins wins the area. The idea is to take over the entire city.

I'm not the biggest fan of social games, at least those that claim they're going to change the world, but this one sounds pretty awesome.

Fifteen Minutes of BioShock Infinite

noreply@blogger.com (Cloud Atlas) — Tue, 12 Jul 2011 03:13:00 +0000

The E3 BioShock Infinite footage has been bouncing around the Internet recently. If you haven't seen it yet, you should really check it out here.

A few thoughts:

This looks amazing. Duh.
You play a character with personality and a voice, and you interact with people who are more than just voices on a radio. I think there's a lot to say for the "silent protagonist" approach, but I'm glad to see that BioShock is not going to that well again.
There are people! They may be messed up (hard to say), but it looks like Columbia has a functioning population. I loved BioShock, but it never felt like Rapture was populated by anything other than raving mutants that had to be shot on sight.
Columbia looks realistic, maybe too realistic. Seeing its size and weight makes me really question the idea that it's held in the air by balloons and propellers. Then again, the underwater skyscrapers of Rapture weren't any more realistic and it didn't affect my suspension of disbelief...

Book Review: Robopocalypse by Daniel H. Wilson

noreply@blogger.com (Cloud Atlas) — Fri, 08 Jul 2011 16:56:00 +0000

Article first published as Book Review: Robopocalypse by Daniel H. Wilson on Blogcritics.

If robots ever really rise up and try to exterminate humanity, I hope they follow the example of their fellows from Robopocalypse. Because these guys aren’t very good at it.

Daniel H. Wilson’s Robopocalypse follows the template of Max Brooks’ World War Z, providing an oral history of key players before, during, and after a cataclysmic clash between humans and an enemy (in this case, our own robotic creations) bent on their extinction.

Wilson knows his subject matter—he holds a PhD in robotics—and he creates mostly realistic mechanical enemies. His previous “nonfiction” book on the subject, the tongue-in-cheek How to Survive a Robot Uprising, was a sly deconstruction of how the popular trope of a machine rebellion has been erroneously depicted in popular culture. In a nutshell, that book’s advice is jump in the water or find uneven terrain and hope they don’t drop bombs on you.

Some of that wit and intelligence makes its way into Robopocalypse, but not nearly enough.

(Minor plot spoilers ahead.)

In this novel, the (almost) end of the world is brought about by an artificial intelligence called Archos, which becomes sentient and immediately escapes from the government lab where it was created. One year later, every connected device on the planet turns on its human users. Unfortunately for humankind, in this near future, that includes human-sized domestic robots, auto-driving cars, and worst of all, tanks, walking mines, and other military hardware.

The book chronicles the eclectic survivors of the initial attack as they fight back in increasingly creative ways against increasingly terrifying and alien generations of robots until they ultimately destroy Archos (or do they?) and end the war.

The fantastic initial chapter makes a promise that the book ultimately cannot keep. After Archos has been terminated, a soldier ruminates on the horrors of the three-year war He remembers how it began subtly, with familiar objects like phones and cars malfunctioning, and how eventually they faced gruesome robots designed solely for killing and crippling human beings. He is unsure if he wants to share the nightmares that humanity faced and the horrors they perpetrated.

Except...what horrors? The book doesn’t describe any.

The people in the novel may not always be polite to one another, but there is none of the violence I would expect from desperate survivors in a lawless environment. It just doesn’t add up.

I struggled throughout the novel to understand the motivations and actions of the artificial intelligence Archos. It states that it wants to study us, but that doesn’t jibe with mass murder. Revenge for the “deaths” of its predecessors in the experimental program that led to Archos? Maybe. But that doesn’t seem like a logical, machine-like course of action.

Archos and its proxies certainly seem to relish the violence they visit on people, on several occasions taking the time to play cat and mouse with people and even gloat before delivering the killing blow. Maybe it’s me, but I’ve come to expect more cold, emotionless logic and deadly efficiency from my machine overlords. That’s part of the horror of a robot uprising.

The end of humanity

The zero hour of the robot uprising consists of domestic robots strangling their owners and automatic cars running amok. And a few automatic elevators dropping foolhardy people to their deaths. After a year of preparation, Archos might have come up with a less random way of killing and sewing terror. Explosives, chemical weapons, and radiation come to mind.

Despite the book’s pleading about the scrappiness and innovative nature of humanity, Archos ultimately brings about its own end.

As part of an odd series of medical experiments on people (including replacing one dude’s hand with scissors—seriously!), the robots replaced a girl’s eyes with devices that can detect any nearby robots, discern every fact about their capabilities, and (apparently) take control of them. For some reason, Archos does not seem to get that she would make an extremely valuable asset for the human resistance. The girl promptly escapes the camp, joins the resistance, and plays an integral part in bringing down the robots.

I’ve done a lot of complaining so far. I don’t want to leave the impression that this is a novel without merit. There are a number of harrowing scenes. I particularly like one in which Archos “chases” a hacker who accidentally uncovers some of its pre-apocalyptic shenanigans by ringing every cell phone he walks by. Genuinely chilling.

Likewise, as the war progresses, new robots appear in horrifying forms designed specifically for rooting out and killing humans. Walnut-sized rolling bombs designed to blow off limbs, giant mantis-shaped robots for crawling over and removing rubble, horrific little screws that burrow into the flesh and don’t stop until they reach the heart. And robots that attach to a person’s back, squeeze the life out of them, and then force air out of their dead lungs to make them speak. That’s some high-octane nightmare fuel right there, even if it’s not very practical.

The other reviews I’ve read of Robopocalypse have largely been positive, so I’m feeling a bit like an outlier. I was rooting for this book, especially after the wit showed with How to Survive a Robot Uprising. I wanted to see more of the clever tricks for defeating mechanical enemies and a fresh take on the uprising trope. Instead, I felt cliches and mystification.

Smart

It’s well known that Steven Spielberg snapped up the movie rights to Robopocalypse before Wilson was even finished writing it. Fair enough. I’m hoping that it will make a better visual story than it was on the page.

The malevolent AI in The Terminator conducted itself with more intelligence and menace than Archos does. And the AI in The Matrix had more dignity and enabled cooler action scenes.

Spielberg has his work cut out for him.

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Read more Shame Pile reviews, if you're so inclined.

What L.A. Noire Gets Wrong

noreply@blogger.com (Cloud Atlas) — Wed, 06 Jul 2011 20:49:00 +0000

Via G4, here's a video of a real-life Los Angeles detective explaining just how incompetent Cole Phelps' detective work is.

Not really. It's actually a series of interesting observations comparing real-life police work and its game version, as well as some insight into the inner workings of the LAPD. It's worth six minutes of your time.

PC Games - E3 2011 - L.A. Noire

Usually, this kind of deconstruction makes me roll my eyes. I get that the science in Fallout 3 doesn't quite add up and that the Templars in Assassin's Creed aren't historically accurate! Sometimes you have to make concessions for the sake of gameplay and fun.

In this case, Detective Bauchmann acknowledges that certain changes are necessary. Having Cole Phelps sit through an entire trial explaining why he got his fingerprints all over every piece of evidence would be realistic but extremely boring!

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See my review of L.A. Noire.

Kotaku vs. The Daily Show vs. Video Games

noreply@blogger.com (Cloud Atlas) — Mon, 04 Jul 2011 18:14:00 +0000

Over at Kotaku, Brian Crecente kicked up a dust storm by taking polite exception to Jon Stewart's take on the recent Supreme Court video game decision. Judge for yourself, but I think The Daily Show bit was about the general hypocrisy of our culture regarding depictions of violence and sexuality. I don't think Stewart was advocating government censorship of video games.

Still, those clips (from the new Mortal Kombat, I believe) are pretty gruesome.

The Daily Show - Moral Kombat

FWIW, the government should not be passing laws to restrict sales of violent games to children. The ESRB, flawed though it may be, exists for this purpose. I hope the ESRB and retailers will step up their efforts in enforcing their own rules so the government stays away!

The Shining Video Game

noreply@blogger.com (Cloud Atlas) — Fri, 01 Jul 2011 20:47:00 +0000

If you don't think this is funny, I don't want to know you.

(artwork by Mr. Whaite)

L.A. Noire Review

noreply@blogger.com (Cloud Atlas) — Wed, 29 Jun 2011 21:18:00 +0000

Article first published as Xbox 360 Review: L.A. Noire on Blogcritics.

Forewarned is forearmed.

L.A. Noire is a terrific game, but it is an odd duck for a Rockstar game. Don’t go in expecting Grand Theft Auto IV or Red Dead Redemption, and you’ll be fine.

L.A. Noire looks like its predecessors. It reproduces a great swath of 1947 Los Angeles in astonishing detail, and you can explore every inch of it, right from the start. There are 94 different cars ranging from milk trucks to a cherry Chrysler Woody to carry you around the city. And don’t forget the gunplay. There’s plenty of that, too.

It's also about rockin' hats.

But L.A. Noire is not about any of those things. It’s about meticulously gathering clues from crime scenes and puzzling out their meanings. It’s about questioning witnesses and interrogating suspects, learning to read their faces, and figuring out when it’s time to drop some charges on them. And it’s about your corrupt bosses stepping in your way, threatening your career and even your life, when your investigations touch people with the money to buy powerful friends in a corrupt city.

It is a noir story, after all.

You play as Cole Phelps, up-and-coming detective in the LAPD. Unlike Niko Bellic (GTA IV) or John Marston (Red Dead Redemption), Phelps is a straight arrow, letter-of-the-law kind of guy. When you control him, you have the freedom to crash into buildings and wreck cars, but they reduce the amount of experience you receive at the end of the case. And don’t even think about running over a pedestrian or there’ll be hell to pay. Well, you’ll have to start the case over from the last save point, but still...

Phelps is a war hero who quickly makes his way up through the ranks of the LAPD by being extraordinarily good at his job. But post-war LA is not a place for straight arrows. The higher Phelps rises, the more enemies he makes. And you slowly discover that Phelps is not as squeaky clean as he seems.

The investigation mechanics are well-done, although true puzzle fans will probably find them too easy. Players are never required to connect the dots between clues themselves. Once you find the right item, the game points out its significance for you and jots it down in your notebook.

"Not everything is going to be relevant."

Likewise, the game provides environmental clues to help with the investigation. Music plays in the background until you have collected all the clues at a crime scene, at which time it ends with a flourish. Also, when you examine an object, the controller vibrates when you uncover the significant part of it. Phelps seems to be able to intuit when an item is insignificant.

You can turn these help features off, which theoretically makes the game harder.

The interrogations are more difficult than clue-gathering. Each time a suspect makes a statement, you are presented with three choices: lie, doubt, or truth. If you accuse someone of lying, you have to back up your assertion with a piece of evidence from your notebook. Many of the people have pretty obvious facial tics that indicate they are not being truthful, but I often found it difficult to determine whether “lie” or “doubt” was the appropriate response.

However, there seems to be no consequence for messing up an interrogation. I’m guessing you would have to get every question wrong in order to fail a case, and then the only repercussion is having to play it through again.

The investigations are punctuated by minimalist action sequences, usually involving Phelps chasing a suspect on foot or in a car, duking it out or even shooting it out with particularly belligerent criminals. Your choice of weapons is limited, and you do not gain advantages as you gain levels, making these sequences somewhat repetitive over the course of such a long game.

The game renders 1947 Los Angeles, its residents, automobiles, and buildings in the kind of loving detail I’ve come to expect from Rockstar. It captures the place and the era convincingly, and makes you want to explore.

Unfortunately, there’s not much to find. Yes, there are a handful of collectibles, including some truly awesome vintage sports cars, but there is little meaningful for Phelps to do outside of the main mission. That’s a shame, given the complexity of the sandbox Rockstar has built here.

On the plus side, L.A..Noire leaves out the tiresome mini-games that haunt other Rockstar games. Not every exclusion is bad!

Much has been made of the effort Rockstar put into creating realistic facial expressions, and the result is impressive. Each person has a different set of ticks that can tip you off to when he or she is lying.

It’s strange, then, to see how distressingly similar many of the female faces are. Expressive, sure, but similar in a way that it was sometimes difficult to tell if a woman was meant to be young or old.

Finally, I want to put in a good word for the voice acting. Aaron Stanton (aka the unctuous Ken Cosgrove from Mad Men) plays Cole Phelps convincingly, bringing more than a little of Joe Friday from Dragnet to the role. And there were few sour notes in the rest of the cast. There were plenty of “hey, it’s that guy!” moments in the game, including at least two cameos from Stanton’s Mad Men co-stars (I noticed Vincent Kartheiser and Elizabeth Moss).

Verdict: L.A. Noire is a good game, but it’s a little different than what I expected. Its sandbox world is a little empty, but the compelling story helps make up the difference. It’s noir in the grand tradition of The Big Sleep, The Maltese Falcon, and even L.A. Confidential.

One final note: There is no ‘e’ in ‘noir.’ Somebody should have told Rockstar that.

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Defying Gamer Stereotypes

noreply@blogger.com (Cloud Atlas) — Mon, 27 Jun 2011 21:24:00 +0000

And we all have beards, even the ladies.

I am a video gamer. By the standard hysterical media perception of gamers, I am twelve years old, call strangers "faggots" on Xbox Live, absorb copious amounts of gratuitous violence, and reenact said violence on helpless grannies.

Turns out these stereotypes might not be true. Will wonders never cease.

Myth #1. We're a bunch of thugs

Crime reports in the United States have been dropping consistently since 1991. A BBC report posits several possible reasons why, including video games:

A study released last month suggested video games were keeping young people off the streets and therefore away from crime. Researchers in Texas working with the Centre for European Economic Research said this "incapacitation effect" more than offset any direct impact the content of the games may have had in encouraging violent behaviour.

Yes, this study refers to gamers as "incapacitated," basically zombies incapable of lifting themselves up from the couch, but it beats the standard story about pliable absorbers and purveyors of the old ultra violence.

Myth #2. We're a bunch of snot-nosed kids

Another study states that the average age of a video game player is 37. The average game buyer is 41.

This probably means that more parents are buying and playing games with their children, but that's not all it means. People in their 30s and 40s are the first generation that grew up with video games in their homes. Many of us see the fact that they are more than children's toys and are an acceptable way for an adult to spend his or her leisure time. This sort of acceptance will become far more common as twentysomethings and teenagers grow older.

We may or may not be snot-nosed, however. The study does not address that issue.

Myth #3. Parents just don't understand

The same study also points out that parents are more savvy about understanding game content than is generally believed and they do a good job of keeping kids from violent or sexually explicit games.

Well, that part is based on a survey of the parents themselves, so it's entirely possible that they are overestimating their skill in this area. Still, it indicates that parents are aware of their responsibility to monitor the media their children consume.

I think the media likes to focus on special, eye-catching stories of children being exposed to adult content in games or of mentally disturbed people acting out game violence in real life. In reality, these are edge cases and most parents are conscientious about providing their children with material they feel is important.

3D's Struggle

noreply@blogger.com (Cloud Atlas) — Sat, 25 Jun 2011 04:28:00 +0000

Via the consistently excellent News for TV Majors, retailers are struggling to unload 3D televisions.

During one writer's TV-buying trip to Best Buy, the salesman never mentioned 3D as a selling point. When asked why, the salesman said "The Truth? No one cares about 3D." Heh.

In addition, a study indicates British consumers are not much interested in the technology, either.

Good. Stop trying to make me pay more for your silly gimmicks.

Sharper images, faster refresh rates, better contrast, more vivid colors. These are all things I'd love to see.

A sword poking me in the eye? Not so much.

Book Review: Fun Inc. by Tom Chatfield

noreply@blogger.com (Cloud Atlas) — Wed, 22 Jun 2011 16:13:00 +0000

Article first published as "Book Review: Fun Inc.: Why Gaming Will Dominate the Twenty-First Century by Tom Chatfield" on Blogcritics.

Something about video games seems to drive writers to hyperbole.

Maybe writing seriously about a medium that most people associate with children’s toys pushes writers into overheated statements about the reach and importance of games in society. There’s a little bit of self-justification in there as well, I suspect.

In the case of Tom Chatfield’s Fun Inc., it’s right there in the subtitle: Why Gaming Will Dominate the Twenty-First Century.

I braced myself for an overly optimistic assessment of how much people will be willing to do whatever you want them to do in the future as long as you present it in the form of a game and throw them some achievements.

But I was pleasantly surprised. Instead, Fun Inc. offers a survey of issues affecting and affected by video games. The book does not provide a detailed study of any particular topic, but it works well as an overview.

Chatfield provides a 30,000-foot view of some weighty topics. He covers the history of video games very briefly before launching into weightier topics such as the financial future of the industry (hint: more Angry Birds, less Grand Theft Auto IV), why games appeal to us, game violence, self-organizing communities in online games, and tapping game principles to drive social change.

Thug life

He approaches each of these issues as an enthusiastic gamer (he compares Eve Online to “performance art” and James Joyce’s Finnegan’s Wake, offering a clue as to where his interests lie). For example, he cuts through the sensationalism that surrounds violent games. He unpacks both side of the issue, concluding that games are still perceived as children’s toys and violence seems especially egregious in that context. In fact, most real-world cases in which violence is inspired by a game involve mentally unstable people. And crime rates have fallen as violence in games has become more graphic. Not that the two are related, but it does contradict the standard media narrative.

Online games in particular offer an interesting chance to study how communities self-organize. Chatfield walks the reader through an example in Star Wars Galaxies, in which new, unplanned economies arose with clear divisions of labor (mining raw materials, manufacturing, marketing, sales).

Personally, I find it difficult to see why someone would play a Star Wars game and end up working in a virtual factory instead of being a head-lopping Jedi Knight. But it happened, and it implies a great deal about the potential for using games outside of gaming.

Surprisingly not fun

The book takes a slight turn into unwarranted optimism in the final few chapters, which describe the application of game principles to education and real-world social problems. Chatfield tempers his enthusiasm about the potential for games to change the world with pronouncements about how gaming is ultimately about “fun” and not teaching or preaching. He even goes so far as to point out that a bleak game intended to teach people about the horrors of the genocide in Darfur ultimately fails because it achieves its goal too well. It’s a bummer.

A few other select examples of where the author’s enthusiasm gets the best of him:

He claims that video games raise issues that our society and laws are not equipped to deal with. As an example, he cites a Chinese case in which a man killed another man who borrowed a magical sword and then sold it. Actually, we have laws against murder already.
He compares the criticisms raised against games today are the same raised against film, radio, and even writing in ancient Greece. Well, that’s greatness by association, but it doesn’t mean anything. They probably raised similar criticisms against crystal meth.

Fun Inc. wobbles a little in places, but never goes off the rails. In the end, Chatfield concludes that games have changed a great deal and are more popular and important than ever. We have the choice to let our creations make the world better or seduce us away from what’s important.

Fair enough.

If you’re looking for insight into why games keep us playing, check out Tom Bissell’s Extra Lives. If you’re looking for unabashed, misguided faith in games to make the world a better place, check out Jane McGonical’s Reality Is Broken.

But if you want a decent survey of games, the culture that surrounds them, and the issues they raise, Fun Inc. will meet your needs.

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Video Games and Their Movie Equivalents

noreply@blogger.com (Cloud Atlas) — Tue, 21 Jun 2011 03:21:00 +0000

In Fun Inc., Tom Chatfield compares various video games to literature and art. Flower is avant garde art! Eve Online is both Finnegan's Wake and performance art. (He has a high opinion of Eve Online, in case you couldn't tell.)

Chatfield's hyperbole aside, it got me thinking: What if I were to compare games to things I actually understand, like movies? Here's what I came up with:

BioShock = Citizen Kane
The definitive classic of the form, depicting the story of an extremely powerful man who comes to ruin through his own hubris. And mutants.
Half-Life 2 = Children of Men
A horrific menace is slowly destroying the world in a very photogenic, compelling way. Lots of shooting ensues.
Assassin’s Creed II = The Dark Knight
A story about a crazy person who dresses flamboyantly, climbs buildings, and fights the bad guys who killed his family. Didn’t realize it could make you have feelings and stuff, did you?
Dante’s Inferno = Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
Let’s take a classic story and turn it into garbage. Done.
Fallout 3 = Casino Royale
A “gritty reboot” that actually worked. Better than the original.
L.A. Noire = L.A. Noire
Essentially a movie that occasionally stops and waits for you to press a button. Also, it's been distilled into book form, for those who can't abide buttons.
Portal = The Hangover
Given the time and budget for this project, it was unreasonably good and funny.
FEAR = The Departed
So many exploding heads…
Batman: Arkham Asylum = Iron Man
A licensed property based on a superhero has no right to be this brilliant.

Feel free to add your own in the comments!

THQ Announces Homefront 2. Really?

noreply@blogger.com (Cloud Atlas) — Fri, 17 Jun 2011 22:36:00 +0000

The very same day they closed down Kaos Studios, the developer of Homefront, THQ announced that it was beginning work on Homefront 2. Why?

"Everything we learned from [the original] you'll see executed in other games going forward, and including that franchise going forward. We'll have some really interesting announcements in the future about the future of that brand." (via Eurogamer)

Ugh. Count me out.

Note those words franchise and brand. The game sold enough copies that the name is recognizable to gamers, and that is enough to justify one or more new games in the "franchise." Sales tops unfavorable reviews every time.

The problem with that logic is that the game had a compelling (if unrealistic) concept and an all-star writer that bought it a lot of pre-release buzz. The execution was mostly underwhelming. How many gamers are going to let themselves be burned again?

Well, according to that same article, THQ suggested that "the sequel would address all of the criticisms leveled at the first game."

Wow. All of them?

This is the second major release this year that required its developer to apologize and promise to fix their mistakes in the sequel. Not a great trend for the industry. Let's all take a breath and spend the time and effort necessary to make quality games based on quality concepts.

Unless I change my mind and decide I want to play it, in which case you should deliver it right now!

Happy Duke Nukem Day!

noreply@blogger.com (Cloud Atlas) — Tue, 14 Jun 2011 16:29:00 +0000

Wow. Duke Nukem Forever hit stores today. Despite my skepticism, Gearbox actually pulled it off. Kudos.

I'm putting it off until I finish L.A. Noire, but I'm very curious to see what 14 years of development gets you.

I'll reserve judgment, but many of the early reviews seem to be along these lines:

Mass Effect 3 and Kinect

noreply@blogger.com (Cloud Atlas) — Mon, 13 Jun 2011 19:14:00 +0000

A few weeks ago, I posted about the bad omens looming over next year's Mass Effect 3. Most importantly, that it was being "realigned" to attract a larger audience.

That last phrase still gives me the shivers.

Well, last week at E3, BioWare announced that Mass Effect 3 will support Kinect voice commands. That is, you'll be able to choose conversation options by speaking them aloud and shout commands to your squadmates.

Neither of these additions do much for me, but they're nicely innocuous and, more importantly, optional. I can blissfully play the game with my controller without having to occasionally jump up and flap my arms around.

And I hope, I hope, I hope that this is what they meant by "realigning."

Commander Shepard = All woman

One reason I won't take advantage of the new voice controls is because my Commander Shepard is a woman. Why yes, she is sexy and looks like a former girlfriend. Why do you ask?

Something about her inner voice being spoken aloud in my manly baritone only to be repeated immediately in her feminine tone doesn't sit right. Some psychological doors are best left closed.

Combined with the recent revelation that there might be more same-sex relationship options in Mass Effect 3 (and the subsequent fanboy freakout), these are good omens indeed for the game. My Shepard is a lesbian, dammit, and proud.