It’s going to be neat to be in a few states that I’ve never been, but honestly, at this point I have no interest at all in seeing anything that any of them have to offer along the way.  I’ve been talking for the past couple of years about checking out Washington D.C., and even though we’re going to be right there at it, I am just not in the right frame of mind or mood to even want to go there.  The only place I want to see at this point is John Hopkins Hospital, and getting mom well.  My camera will be with me in case I change my mind.  I don’t expect to, but the snow may persuade me otherwise.

We made a visit to the University of Tennessee a couple of weeks ago, and had an appointment for the University of Georgia, but ended up cancelling it after talking with and deciding to visit John Hopkins in Baltimore.  The idea of having a team that is dedicated solely to neurological surgeries and a doctor that genuinely seems to care about his patients, was the major deciding factors.  It’s not that we didn’t like UT, it’s just that it’s a one chance surgery, and we can’t risk any damage or losing mom because the place happened to be closer and more convenient.

All I ask is one thing, and I’m asking this particular of young people that watch. Please do not be cynical. I hate cynicism. For the record, it’s my least favorite quality. It doesn’t lead anywhere.  Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get, but if you work really hard, and you’re kind, amazing things will happen. I’m telling you, amazing things will happen.

—Conan O’Brien

I bowled with a 14lb ball that was probably a pound or two heavier than I would have liked, but it had what I found to be the most comfortable finger holes.  I couldn’t even break 100 though, but I’m going to blame that on lack of practice.  This is our first game, and our second was about the same but with the scores flipped vertically between us.  I have no idea how he did it, but I think this is Chase’s highest score ever.

I’ve done what I always do, and expected a situation to be what is probably on the worse end of the scale of outcomes, and unfortunately it was right.  Yet expecting the worse didn’t help ease the pain and feelings that surrounded the situation.  It was only confirmation for what I had hoped to be prepared for, but wasn’t.  And I don’t honestly think you can be prepared for all of the thoughts, the questions, the scenarios, and the possibilities that rush through your mind upon learning something that is devastating.

It all goes back to when we talked my parents into going to the eye doctor for a checkup and to get some real glasses.  The doctor did the checkup and said her eyes were healthy, but for some reason she had a loss of peripheral vision on her right side, and recommended that she see a neurologist.  Then my mom had her wreck last year, and since then has had on-again off-again headaches.  We’ve all noticed, especially in the past few months, that she has been getting easily confused, repeating things when she talks to us, lost quite a bit of weight, and has had no appetite at all.  Then she started mixing Chase and I up—something that moms never do, even with twins.  With all of this we knew that something was seriously wrong and we had to get her checked out.

Today she went in for a MRI and had it performed with and without contrast.  The images show what the doctor is calling a meningioma.  Billy called and told me about it and then the four of us had lunch to discuss what the proper route to take would be.  I was expecting something small, and I really want to believe that it will be something simple to remove, but the scan is showing a growth that is around 60mm.  I can’t help but believe this is very serious. Tomorrow we are supposed to get the report and hopefully know more detail about it as well as know what direction to start looking.

I’m trying my best to keep it together, especially around any of the others, but when thinking about it, or listening to my family try to figure out a game plan, I do tear up.  Alicia said on the way home both my mom and dad was crying.  I’ve never in my life seen my dad cry, so I know this is really going to be something tough for the both of them.  Heck, tough for all of us.  Both of my parents are very strong people, and have probably always done as I have done and just kept their fears to themselves up until now.  Even the very thought of my dad crying over my mom being sick just kills me.  But tears are not a sign of weakness, instead they are a sign of being human, a sign of love symbolizing words that the heart cannot express.

If I were to say that I didn’t tear up any writing any of this, I’d be a liar.  Please keep my family in your thoughts and prayers.  This is going to be a very trying time for all of us.

1. It’s a recycled cast.  Sure I really enjoy looking at Danielle and Parvati, but it’s not like an all new cast wouldn’t have provided some eye candy for the show either.  We already know how these players have played in the past, so it’ll be interesting to see what new they offer to bring to the show.
2. Winners are playing again.  The odds in being fortunate enough to be picked to play for a shot at a million dollars are extremely thin already, so giving people that have already one a million bucks a shot at making that two, makes no sense to me and is somewhat unfair to the countless fans that make an entry to maybe be picked each season.
3. Being on three seasons.  Basically the same reason as above applies here too.  If two opportunities together is considered a chance of a lifetime, what is 3?
4. Coach and Tyson.  These are two people who are so full of themselves that it makes me sick to watch them.  I’ll watch the entire season regardless of the disappointments, but I hope these two are the first to be voted out.