As someone who is lucky enough to work for herself, and who likes her work very much, I find it very difficult to take downtime. I LIKE working, damn it! Why should I be tethered to some arbitrary constraint of working hours?

And yet, this tends to blow up in my face. High as I’m flying when I’m working, if I go too long, there’s a gruesome crash at the end of it.

I’m good at taking care of some constraints. I know my body is quite finicky, and prone to fits if I starve it for food or sleep, so I rarely ever do. (Last week I missed a meal, and I spent the next two days trying to keep food down. My big, beautiful brain, utterly at the mercy of this persnickety body. ) So why can’t I regulate my activities in such a way as to avoid having meltdowns like an overstressed toddler?

Wisdom from Unlikely Places

There’s a nifty brand of personal finance called “Financial Independence” and the biggest blogger in this field is Mr Money Mustache.  He’s quite good. He saved 50-60% of his income and retired after only ten years of working. He is officially “retired”.

I’m sure we all want to be retired some day. But we’re not going to spend day in and day out rocking on the front porch or perhaps playing the odd game of checkers.

And neither does MMM. He likes to do woodworking and small construction projects, flip houses, and of course, blog. However, some people still think of those activities as work (he’s getting paid, you see) so he wrote an absolutely hilarious post/rant about what constitutes “work”.

“The “internet retirement police” (IRP), which you’ll meet in various online forums, have established five main directives:

In principle you can only participate in certain pre-approved retirement activities such as beach-sitting, staring out the window, and receiving visits from your grandchildren.
 
Traveling is also okay, as is eating “delicious food”, just make sure you don’t cook it yourself. Think twice before doing anything that’s not on this list! The IRP is watching you.
 
The IRP does grant one exemption should you become bored with the activities above. You can work for a nonprofit organization. Make sure you’re not getting paid though even if you have to plead your case with the CEO to put in special exemptions. Accepting money obviously means you didn’t do your retirement-math and that you ran out of money a couple of years after retiring. After all, what other obvious explanation could there be? (Besides the obvious ones) If you can’t find a way to work without pay, it’s best to head back to the beach towel and sit on that.
 
Just to be clear: You’re most definitely NOT allowed to be a kayak-instructor in your retirement. While it may sound like a fun job that you picked yourself even if you didn’t have to, the keyword is J-O-B. You can, however, spend a Saturday morning dressed up as an elephant handing out fliers and free lemonade at the entrance. And if you really must instruct in kayaking, please avoid doing something more engaging than blogging about kayaks (and if you do blog, try not to make the blog popular… because … then the blog would be a job!).”
 
(Technically, this quote is a quote from the ur-FI blogger, Jacob Lund Fisker, whose blog, I am delighted to note, is live again after a long hiatus.)

While we are not all “retired,” I think pretty much everyone reading this is more like the above-mentioned kayak instructor than not, what with our “fun jobs we picked ourselves.”

Buzz, buzz, buzz

Our work, our fun jobs, tend to be high in flow. But you can’t be in flow indefinitely—or maybe that’s what enlightenment is, I don’t know. But what I do know is that as much as I love my client calls, they pack a helluva whollup. And writing is almost as draining.

I’m sure that whatever your thing is, you have flow activities as well.

So, hypothetically, I could have 4 client calls a day, and sleep about 12 hours a day, and during the other six hours I’d probably feebly attempt to bash out coherent emails and read Gawker. Or I could have 2 client calls a day, 2-3 hours of writing a day, and you might get a return email from me in 4-6 weeks. Or, I can do what I currently do, which is 2-3 calls M-W, and Th/Fri is given over to writing and creating.

Or at least that’s the plan. But what actually seems to happen is that I write, and then I have calls, and then I email, and then I plot and then I write some more, and I make supper and I read, and I’d really like to write about what I’m thinking about at I read but I’m far too brain-dead and so I fall asleep at 10pm because I am an old woman.

I LOVE each and everything I spend my time on— but for some reason it’s not as restful as I think it should be.

I’m pretty sure I’m not alone in this. =D

Part of the reason for this, I’m convinced, is that because we’re self-employed, we see an immediate and direct correlation between the work we do and the success or fulfillment we achieve. That creates a positive feedback loop— working hard produces all sorts of great things for us, so of course we work harder. Why not? But there’s no such thing as a perpetual motion machine. We have to feed this cycle somehow. So how do you make sure you’re fueling yourself properly?

The Artist’s Way

Julia Cameron talks about this in The Artist’s Way. She refers to these rejuvenating activities as ‘filling the well’, and there does seem to be some evidence that people who work less are happier and more productive than the people who work more. She advocates taking your inner child on play-dates.

I think this is a good way to think about it, because there is a general tendency to make our play “productive.” I think this is because in our over-scheduled lives “if you don’t schedule it, you won’t do it.” Just leaving an hour open here or there leads to defaulting to the lowest common denominator (often TV) or using the hour to guiltily “catch up” on some other work that slipped through the cracks.

But thinking about it like you would a child is very smart.

We know that kids need unscheduled time to play without constraints.

We know that working them past a certain point is utterly useless.

We know that too much stimulation causes meltdowns and makes them require naps (or at least a time out in a quiet room.)

Shockingly, adults’ needs aren’t so very different.

Differentiating between Play and Rest

I used to be a member of the “Work Hard, Play Hard” school of thought. But since I started allowing myself to be the introverted Highly Sensitive Person I am, I notice that playing hard doesn’t cut the mustard when it comes to full rejuvenation. For that I need Rest.

The reason for this is a psychological state called arousal. Arousal isn’t as erotic as it sounds. It just means that your body is alert. If it’s negative arousal, your body is alert and stressed. Positive arousal is when your body is alert, but calm.

The flow state that we enjoy when doing our best work is positive arousal. However, you can’t maintain a state of high alert forever without stress creeping in. That’s why the work hard/play hard model is flawed. Eventually, you must come out of a state of arousal to rest. Extroverts may need less rest than introverts, but the still need some. If you don’t get it, you are like an overstimulated child, on the verge of a meltdown, and in dire need of respite from busy surroundings.

The difference between Play and Rest is subtle. Only you can gauge your level of arousal. For me, TV is play, because it is emphatically not restful. Rest is more like chilling on the front porch with a glass of wine watching the fireflies. Or it might be reading a cheesey space opera. Unless it’s too funny. Then it’s arousing and becomes play. Are you confused yet?

Similarly, Play projects might become Rest tasks, similar to the way that some people enjoy puttering around, tidying things up at the end of the day, and others see it as a dreaded inconvenience. A certain task can even switch depending on how stressed we are at the moment, so you really have to go at your own pace, and be prepared to switch things up if your chosen activity isn’t meeting your needs.

But what about Work?

Differentiating between Work and Play When They Are All Too Similar

Our work is very rewarding. Being rewarded is fun, hence work is fun. However, the tasks we do with our jobs have certain details associated with them that do make them Work. As ‘kayak instructors’, we have to show up for all the classes, whether we want to or not. Freelancers have deadlines, and often not too much choice in subject matter. Writers don’t get to play parcheesi until inspiration strikes. Sometimes you just don’t get to say ‘Fuck it’ and go fishing.

But work is not so terrible that I’m ready to put it to bed at 5pm. In fact, I’m often cranky at 5pm because I’m just getting my second wind but my stomach is demanding supper. If I go back to work after supper, it’s a 50/50 chance I’m going to over-arouse myself and not do any Rest before bed. (Your personal cycles will vary, of course, but I think everyone does better with at least an hour of Rest before bed.)

Same thing with weekends. Not working weekends is torture. I have often “joked” that I literally cannot have fun unless there’s a goal involved. But again, it has to do with arousal– having a target in mind makes me a bit more competitive than aimless, and that puts my mind in the arousal “sweet spot” that is most enjoyable to me. But it’s a double-edged knife. As soon as stress starts to tinge the arousal, BAM! Overwhelm and burnout strike.

I shared this sentiment with Erin, and she agreed. Her trick, she said, was to do a project that had no deadline.

I was gobsmacked by this small, brilliant differentiator (it seems obvious, but I’d truly never thought of it). I’d even go a step further and say that the concept of “should” shouldn’t be anywhere near it. For instance, if you feel like switching out your winter wardrobe for your summer wardrobe as a weekend project, go for it. But if you catch yourself thinking, “I really should put away my winter clothes this weekend,” you’re not Playing. You’re Working.

Your Turn

How good are you at monitoring your arousal? Is it hard to keep track of whether you’re working or playing? What sorts of activities work as Rest for you?

You are well-equipped, you know the territory, and your troops are well-led.

You are victorious in many battles and you gain a lot of territory. Hurrah!

What’s next?

More conquering? Strike while the iron is hot? Harry the enemy and scatter its forces?

Likely not.

No matter how much territory you’ve gained, it’s unlikely that you’ve achieved such a decisive victory that you can expect that whatever you gained won’t be at risk in the immediate future.

Therefore, you must consolidate.

Consolidation is all the work that happens after the exciting work is over.

Erecting earthworks. Digging latrines. Getting the supply train caught up.

(Or, if you prefer, getting caught up on administrative tasks, decompressing and debriefing, and integrating the new status quo into your workflow. And, of course, planning the next campaign.

If we all plan less than we need to  we also consolidate less than we need to, too.

Consolidation might seem frustrating, or a waste of time better spent advancing, but all too often, consolidation is the only thing that allows you to hang onto your gains when you burn out or get thrown a monkey wrench. Consolidation means that you can hold the new territory, because you took the time to really make it yours,  instead of a shiny new thingamabob you stapled onto your existing structure or workflow.

What recent gains do you need to take the time to consolidate?

I really enjoy testing applications and services. I like seeing if they make a difference in my workflow, if they improved my life in some meaningful way. And I really like to see if they solve problems I didn’t know I had.

But, it’s selfish to keep all these goodies to myself, so I’ll show you some of my favorites as well as my recent additions to the line-up.

Focus At Will

If you try nothing else on this list, you must try this service. I’ve been a beta tester for the last few months, and they just opened to the public on April 25th.

Basically, the idea is that you’re more productive if your brain is in a relaxed and alert state. But most music is meant to arouse. So the smarty-pants’ at Focus at Will have researched, remastered, and developed hundreds of tracks that help your brain get in that flow state and stay there.

I say this as a person who hates music and listening to music, especially when I’m working. But the music, meant to be played low and quietly, relaxes you slightly without making you drowsy, and never intrudes (in fact, if you notice it, you should click skip on the program, and it will learn that that piece is not quite right for you).

They say that this technology works on two out of three people. So maybe it won’t work for you. But all I know is I can’t bear to be without it.

Evernote

I was first introduced to Evernote three or four years ago. It’s been on my radar a while. But when I tried it way back when, it wasn’t nearly as robust as it is now. I don’t remember a desktop application, for starters. And at the time I only had dial-up and apparently I was dealing with a lot less information (it seems hard to believe, now) because I couldn’t quite figure out what to do with it.

Now, however, I’ve run my business almost wholly online for more than two years (since my last truly meat-space business got shuttered)— and most of that work is done in a web browser. I never use MS Office, having found love in the integrated Google universe. In fact, it wasn’t so long ago that I was telling Ethan that I didn’t even use my desktop at all.

But at a recent Mastermind discussion of business systems, I realized that I needed a business dashboard. I needed to be able to have project plans, research, documents and notes all in one place. Google Documents didn’t work for that. For a time I used folders of bookmarks, but that still didn’t quite work– it was clunky and slow and hard to update.

So, I wrote out my needs for a dashboard and looked at my options, and it turned out the ubiquitous Evernote was perfect. And when I grow, I can easily upgrade to Evernote Business and share SOPs and checklists with my XO.

As I also mentioned, Evernote is a great place for my journaling. In fact, I start each day with two notes: “Todo [DATE]” and “Morning Pages [DATE]“. The ToDo contains the top project or two I’m working on and a handful of other little tasks I don’t want to forget. The morning pages note gets jottings put in it all day so that I don’t have to open the project files I’m not working on, and then at the end of the day or week, I sort all those jottings where they belong.

If this sounds like something you’d like to implement  I recommend Evernote Essentials by Brett Kelly. It’s worth the $30 bucks to get up to speed on what all Evernote can do rather than spend your time figuring it out. If you want to spend your time messing with things, mess with the specific integrations to services you already use. I spent about 4 or 5 days getting things set up. (I still have a big backlog of things to organize, but you really can’t go at this haphazardly. You’ll just waste your time.)

Expensify

One of the Evernote integrations  I mentioned, Expensify is a nifty little service. I wound up not using it, but it has merits that should not be overlooked.

At the core, Expensify is an expense tracking service. You know, where you take a picture of your receipt for a business lunch and it automatically files it for you, so you can find it when you go to do your bookkeeping. It links to Evernote as well as various invoicing softwares, so you could conceivably link up all your business books (or even your household books) to it.

But the cool thing about it is that for 20 cents each, Expensify has a “SmartScan” function where it reads the receipts and enters all the information into a spreadsheet for you. There’s no flat fee, just 20 cents (after the first ten, which are free.) Now, if you want to enter it all manually, Expensify is free. FREE. And I would assume that’s where they get you— after a few months, you can’t imagine why you’re wasting time doing it by hand, and you start using the SmartScan feature.

Like I said, I would up not using it because my bookkeeping is already so streamlined and automated, and it’s not worth the trouble to switch, but if you’ve been wanting to keep better track of receipts and expenses and you haven’t been able to, you might want to look into Expensify.

Instapaper vs. Pocket

I liked Instapaper. I really did. I’ve used it for the last year or so. But it didn’t integrate with The Old Reader (below) and Pocket did. I was still a little torn, but then I realized The Old Reader didn’t have an Android app, and Instapaper had an Android app, but it was paid, and Pocket had a free Android app. So that’s what tipped the balance for me. (I don’t mind paying for what I use, but my phone already costs me $55/month, which is excessive for the 4-5 days a month I really need it.)

And it turns out I like Pocket’s colorful interface better than Instapaper’s. The previews make it a lot easier to decide what to read. The various integrations are a little bit hard to manage— there’s no search function, you just have to scroll until you find what you’re looking for— but once you get things set up, it’s a breeze to use.

The Old Reader

I know many of you are looking for a replacement for Google Reader, and I want to recommend my pick The Old Reader. It’s basically a clone of the old Google Reader interface. No learning curve, no fancy doodads or interface. Just all your feeds in one place.  Some parts of it, like their “Add New Feeds” function, is even easier to manage than Google Reader was.

It’s one of those garage-based start-ups, they’re only a year old, but they’re very responsive and run on donations. That’s not to say they’ll always be free, but I’m all right with that. Google’s got us spoiled that everything should be free, but you know what they say: If you don’t pay for the product, you are the product. I hope they have an Android app soon, though.

Because they’re so small, they don’t refresh the feeds lightning fast– I’d say there’s a 6-10 hour lag for some feeds. But as far as I’m concerned, that’s just fine. If I needed these posts the second they were posted, they’d be coming to my inbox. And speaking of inbox management…

Unroll.me

This is a great service I heard about from Erin. I can’t quite bring myself to unsubscribe from a lot of stuff, but I have Inbox Zero OCD, which means that even when emails land in my mailing list folder, I still must mark them as read. It’s a sickness, I’m telling you.

So what unroll.me does is scoop them up, mark them as read and give them back to you in a list view at one point in the day (morning, afternoon, or evening, your pick).

I’m not a fan of the interface, and the fact that when you open the individual emails, it opens them on the unroll.me site but I do like that I can unsub with ONE CLICK. Somehow, not getting redirected to a bunch of different screens reduces my regret quotient, so hopefully I will whittle down my mailing lists subscriptions to the ones that I actually read… at which point I won’t need unroll.me anymore. Because ugh. The interface is way too… what’s the word… tablet-y for me. You know? Like suddenly now that we have touch screen we HAVE to have tiles and sliders and you can’t tab around things, you have to use your mouse. What is this, Web 3.0 now? Whatever it is, I don’t like it.

Flashblock

This is a great app if you have to load media or news sites and the page crashes because of the ads. It’s not an ad-blocker, it just prevents Flash from running on a site unless you specifically allow it. Since I never watch embedded videos, this has increased page load times immensely. You can whitelist certain pages (like Focus@Will!) and all media is available to you with a single click, so it’s very unobtrusive, unlike this next extension.

StayFocusd

I don’t use this all the time, but the StayFocusd extension for Chrome is a good way to train myself out of surfing websites. (You can also try Leechblock for Firefox and Self Control for OSX. IE users, you appear to be SOL.) Typically I’ll use it for a few weeks, then disable it, then enable it again when I notice myself backslide.

It’s super customizable, with whitelists, blacklists, a “Nuclear” feature, which blocks everything but the whitelist for a given period of time, and even a feature where you can spend a limited amount of time on unproductive sites (like for breaks and things.)

Your Turn

I’m noticing a big trend amongst start-ups for tracking and responding to even random blog posts about their services (You might have seen the LiveFyre liaison in the comments from time to time!) so if that’s you, welcome!

But tell me, what services or apps have made your life easier or more manageable? I’m always looking for new stuff to test!

There are all kinds of situations where we have to decide whether to continue doing what we’ve been doing, or change tacks.

It’s always interesting to examine at this point the difference between “settling” and “avoiding deluding ourselves”.

Life is a series of decisions; a gamble, if you will. Essentially, the decision of when you ‘hit’ or ‘stand’ comes down to a matter of priorities.

These are not typically all-or-nothing decisions.

They can be. Sometimes you can only decide one way or the other: Yes or No to kids. Yes or No to relocating for your spouse’s job.

The hardest decisions, in fact, are where one option is revocable, and the other is not. (If I sell my business now, it’s gone. But I could just say no now and sell it later if I want to.) Sometimes it’s beneficial to know you have options open, and sometimes it merely distracts you from the business at hand.

But most decisions you are only faced with a choice of where you would find it most advantageous to focus your time and energy. Focus, after all, is ALL you have, as a self-employed person.

Now that I’ve covered the basics, let’s get down to instances.

  We can all agree that most projects, whether it’s your website, your marketing, or even a new product you’re developing is better off getting to “good enough” and being shipped than it is being polished and primped to perfection.

And yet, there is a fierce battle being fought about whether it is damaging to women to tell them “they can have it all” because it leads to unrealistic expectations.

Telling women they should settle for “good enough” whether it’s getting mommy-tracked when they decide to have children, to whether they should lower their standards for partners because “life is not a romance novel” is tantamount to a declaration of war. It pushes buttons big time.

And that’s because the situation is so loaded when it comes to women and the expectations society holds for them.

In fact, pretty much any time you run into strong expectations like that, you’ll trigger a crisis about whether you should “settle” and “do the responsible thing” or whether you should “stay the course” and “hold onto your dreams.”

An Example:

Let’s say, for instance, that your business isn’t making as much money as you want it to. Maybe it isn’t even making as much as you need it to. You probably have certain expectations for yourself. You consider yourself to be a contributing adult. You consider yourself a successful person. Maybe you even consider yourself to be someone who makes good decisions or who follows your instincts.

And yet, here you are, faced with a situation, a reality, that seems to test your expectations. It seems to be defeating the things you think are true. Things about yourself. Whether you realize it consciously or not, this situation represents a huge threat. A threat to your ego, your very sense of self.

Your brain is on the defensive because it feels, accurately or not, cornered. Fee fi fo fum.  Here comes reality to crush your very identity.

Learn to be a Giant-Killer

The answer to this, hard as it is, is to disassociate. When Erin talks about invisible walls she is talking about those parts of your identity that are under threat.

One way to get around them I heard from Chip and Dan Heath. They gave advice to CEOs who had their backs to the wall. “Pretend you just got the job as CEO. You’re starting from scratch in this very situation. What would you do to turn it around?”

This releases you from the attachment from your previous plans, strategies, and decisions. All you have to do, now, is decide what to do next.

It’s wonderfully clarifying.

It dissolves the walls of expectations and identity.

That’s not to say slaying your giant will be easy. But you’ve broken through the biggest limitation, which is that you were afraid to be wrong. You were afraid you might have been lying to yourself.

But when you stop, take a breath, and cease looking for justifications, stop trying to measure yourself against society or your own upbringing, the decision becomes simple.

Some Surprising Benefits

And you may even find that some stuff isn’t necessary. You wanted it because it fulfilled some need inside you. I love to be the center of attention. I have in the past spent a lot of time and tears on social media, trying to being in that center of attention, yet being frustrated all the time because it wasn’t working. Lately I’ve been able to realize that all the time spent slavishly following “the conversation” so that people would listen to me is far better off spent doing something worth being asked about.

Speaking of social media, and media in general, it’s very easy to feel like you should be doing more. The media is run on novelty, so it has a vested interest in persuading people that it is both normal and right that they should be constantly expanding their horizons and doing new things.

But in general it’s far better to be spending more time on what’s really important to you, and only shifting away from that if you are really intrigued by the new thing and it won’t take up too much of your time. For instance, I think it’s pretty cool that George RR Martin writes one or two of the scripts to the Game of Thrones tv series each season because it’s the sort of cross-pollination that will tremendously strengthen his craft.

On the other hand, I’m staying far, far, away from the online game Eve, which I am fairly certain would drain off my real-life empire-building efforts due to the more responsive nature of running business and managing people in the game.

You’ve really got to manage what efforts get your attention and focus, especially when some of the things you focus on are more attractive than others. It’s a lot easier to cultivate a hobby of enjoying craft beer than it is a Cross-Fit hobby, but it’s most important to focus on the activities that are actually good for you, not the ones that simply make you look good.

And if you’re the sort of person (like me) who will go from enjoy craft beer, to brewing craft beer, to starting a craft beer company while still deluding herself she’s enjoying a hobby, it’s even more important to keep limits on your vision.

Prioritizing Visions and Values

Because the choice between ‘settling’ on a certain level of success in any given activity and ‘going all the way’ comes down not just to your priorities as I’ve said before, but to a priority of visions. Is it better to have the tight-knit family who eats dinner together every night, or the baller company that dominates its field. You might not have to choose between them but you do have to choose where to focus

Your Turn

Where have you had to draw the line between staying the course and pivoting? What helps you slay your giants?

There and Back Again

“It’s a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don’t keep your feet, there’s no knowing where you might be swept off to.”
J.R.R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings

Fuck, yeah!

Self-employment is a personal journey. You really have to overcome a great deal of your own hangup and weaknesses. Sometimes you can (and must) do that on the fly, busting down the walls that only you can see. Other times it requires deep introspection in order to bring forth that growth.

In my own case, I was startled to find that a lot of my personal “studies” were made a long time ago; either in school or shortly after. Nothing wrong with that– in fact, that’s the ideal time to do them. But I was dismayed to find that they had nearly stopped altogether. I still had things I was interested in, concepts and ideas and models that I wanted to explore, but that I hadn’t made the effort to study. I would read something, think it was really cool, write a note to myself to explore it “later” and then never get back to it. I was busy building businesses. Making a sustainable living for myself.

That’s what the priority is supposed to be, right?

Radical Self-Edification

But, stupid me, I realized that part of what made me a successful business person was the studies (self and otherwise) that I had made when I was younger. The deep research I had done on group dynamics, human motivation, organizational methods, cognitive biases, linguistic coding and much more, was responsible for a great deal of my success. And in my shortsightedness of making bank, I had neglected what I’ve come to call self-edification.

Self-edification is one of those delightful practices that seem dreadfully selfish and unproductive on the surface, but which are actually quite valuable. Potentially invaluable, but of course you can’t know that yet.

Self-edification is, at the most general scope, the pursuit of excellence for excellence’s sake, exploration for exploration’s sake, and reflection on knowledge and experience in order to live more fully and deeply.

What that looks like can differ a great deal from individual to individual. Because I’m a lover of words, writing is my métier. I need to not only do a thing, I need to examine it verbally. That’s how I learn, and that’s how I experience life, through language; a written journal. Other people might do it through art, through an artist’s notebook, and some people might not even need words at all (although I confess I don’t quite know how that works, I have know people who have done it.)

Being self-employed, there is a certain impulse to submerge myself into my business. I love it. I’m incredibly lucky to be able to do what I do and I’m grateful every day to be so privileged.

But when you have little to talk about other than business, that’s a concern. I know I didn’t used to be so one dimensional. I used to write about all sorts of things, but gradually I drifted to only writing things it “paid” to write. Instead of a gift I gave myself, writing became a form of currency.

And maybe some people get stuff all figured out and no longer need to do any self-examination, or learning, or experimentation. Maybe they don’t need to become aware of their habits and ways of thinking and weaknesses and strengths. Maybe they can go through life simply doing. But I can’t.

I also know that there’s stuff about me, and the world, that I still want to understand, non-work-related goals that I still want to achieve, and so on. When did I stop paying attention to those things? I’m not sure. But it’s been a while.

One of the weaknesses in Your Next 6 Months Forever that I mentioned, was that I show people how and why to envision and write down their personal goals at the 5-year and 1-year mark, and then I completely ignore them. I basically say, “So, you’re going to want to figure out how to accomplish these personal goals, but that’s not really something I can help you with. Try not to forget about them, though!”

Part of the reason I couldn’t help you with that is that I didn’t have a system myself to manage them. Treating personal goals like work goals is a good way to become a royal bitch, in my experience.

My Journey

To be honest, I’m not sure what triggered the realization that I really needed to focus on self-edification. I have told several clients about something called “kaizen journalling” which is an absolutely wonderful thing– it eventually became the backbone of my edification system. In part, I think, was that I started using Evernote and suddenly it seemed possible to have a well organized dashboard, a sort of virtual brain where I could keep all my plans and lists and dreams and research and spreadsheets. In the same way that Leonardo DaVinci’s notebooks could contain plans for helicopters and illustrations of physiology and notes on experiments and lists of things to pick up at the market and books he wanted to read– suddenly I had a place to do that and I realized that I wanted it, desperately.

It was like a thirst that I’d ignored for too long. It burst out of me and demanded my attention. All of it. it refused to be ignored. And soon, I was addicted. It enriched my life in ways I can’t even describe, and I can only imagine how much more valuable it will be after a few months or years.

Because, you see, I’m smart. I’ll admit it. I solve problems, I think profound thoughts, and I have tons of ideas. I do little tests all the time, as do other people, I think. But the question is never, “do you have knowledge?” it’s “what can you do with this knowledge that you’ve accumulated?”

I think far too often, people are moving swiftly from one goal to another, one situation or crisis to the next, without ever stopping to take inventory. What did I learn? How can that knowledge be applied elsewhere?

And what about the other side? Sometimes we get stuck in a rut. But self-reflection can help that. You can say, “What do I like about my life? What do I not like? What would I need to change to be really happy with where I’m at in twenty years?” And then, you can set little goals, make little experiment to see what works.

This shade would be fine, thank you.

Right now, I’m testing to see what spending at least twenty minutes outside, every day, does for my life. (Preliminary results are feelings of contentment, more exercise, and a sense of well-being that permeates my days) Another test I’m doing is paying attention to my arousal levels to ensure that I am not over- or under-stimulated, as being in the sweet spot tends to trigger the flow state more effectively. I am also testing a henna shampoo to see if I can go red again without having to piss around with dyes and salons (Problem: I like having auburn hair. But I hate the cost, inconvenience and maintenance of dyeing. Henna shampoo is a possible solution I am testing.)

I feel so fucking alive. I am so conscious of my thoughts, of my experiences. I feel like I’m taking a far more hands-on approach in my life without having to be so calculating and driven as having business goals tends to make me. I have one friend who’s been blogging for 6 years. Nothing special, just his thoughts about whatever he’s reading. He says that his life, since he began, feels more vivid than before. He has a more fully developed inner life, more thoughts about his experiences, which of course make the experiences all the richer.

That’s what I want, too.

But more than that, I fully expect this sort of explosive consciousness-raising to have a marked effect in my business. I don’t know what that will be, yet, but I greatly suspect this habit is one that will spawn inspired business decisions, even aside from whatever lateral opportunities it brings me; I think self-edification is the sort of hard work that makes you lucky.

Your Turn

The system I’ve developed over the last little while when I dropped off the map is still a bit vague. I’ll tell you more about it later, if you’re interested. But I want to know, how vividly or consciously do you feel your experience of life is? Do you have some process of self-edification, or journaling? Do you think I sound like a pothead puffing on some wicked chronic? =P

Guys, I’m pleased to announce the launch of  E-books Suck (But They Don’t Have To) —The Most Comprehensive Guide to eBook Conception, Creation and Promotion Quite Possibly Ever.

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(of course there’s more; there’s always more)

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Apparently I’ve become something of a neurology buff. I guess breaking something and then figuring out how to fix it  gives one a lot of hands on experience.

So have you heard of this thing called decision fatigue?

Basically, it’s the concept that you’ve got a certain number of decisions available to you to use in a day. Once you’ve used them up, it’s like draining the battery on your phone – you’re SOL until it’s had time to recharge.

This is actually related to the concept of having limited willpower — and for similar reasons.

A Brain Is An Expensive Piece of Equipment — to Own, Run, and Maintain

To understand why, we have to look at the way the brain uses up energy. Some scientists think that the reason we developed our forebrains (the source of conscious cognition)  is because we started eating starchy foods like grain and rice as opposed to the less calorically dense foods like vegetables.

Whatever the cause, certain parts of our brain are more expensive to run than others. It’s like the difference between running your air conditioner and running your microwave.

photo: futureatlas.com

Executive function includes learning, planning, comparing, and deciding. Willpower is the conscious decision to countermand your habits. That’s why willpower is so hard, and why attempting to change too many habits at once fail.

Your brain runs on glucose — sugar, essentially, but converted fat, ideally— but its easier to think of it like a smart phone.

You have one battery, a battery that putatively lasts 8 hours. But if you use it for high-bandwidth activity, it might only last 6 hours. Or four. Or two.

It’s not about the NUMBER of decisions, per se, but about the amount of thinking each decision requires.

How One Major Executive Manages the Limitations of Decision

One of America’s most famous executives has taken this research to heart. Maybe you’ve heard of him. His name is Barack Obama.

In the Vanity Fair profile of Obama, he reveals that he does as much as possible to streamline the decisions he has to make, because even small decisions add up, and he can’t afford it. So he only has two colors of suits, blue or brown. Someone else decides his meals for him, someone else plans his calendar.

It seems a bit ridiculous at first glance, like going to bed fully clothed to save time getting dressed in the morning, but when you think about the sheer weight of the types of decisions he has to make, you sorta see his point.

Very few people will go to the extent of creating an outfit for each day of the week, or a set of meals they never deviate from. But when it comes to your business, there are lots of places where it would not only be perfectly acceptable to reduce decision loads once and for all, but actually advantageous to do so.

You know how they say that children “like” structure?  Well, like might be a strong word. They appreciate it. It gives them a sense of security. It makes them feel safe. It will work the same way on you.

How to Use the Science to Your Advantage

Think about it– how many worthwhile things do you put off doing because they’re too high-bandwidth? Everything from getting Evernote set up so that it can be your external brain, to really being able to harness some of the ideas you have, to just having enough juice at the end of the day to read a good book. What are you doing that’s the equivalent of filling out TPS reports? How can you get rid of it? Because it’s slaughtering both your ability and your motivation to do more with your time.

1. Figure out your highest bandwidth, highest payoff activities
2. Schedule them earlier in the day, preferably after a good breakfast so your brain is well fueled.
3. Assess whether you are actually making decisions or if you defaulting on the decision to preserve brain power (your brain will do this automatically if at all possible, it’s called ‘cognitive miser-hood.’) If you’re defaulting as a general rule, why not go ahead and codify this default decision, because your brain is still draining its battery by thinking about whether or not you’re going to go with the default.
4. Notice when your brain is low on fuel, and give it something to eat. If you don’t, it will shut down. It’s an evolutionary survival mechanism! But don’t just feed it cola. Plan your diet so you have lots of high quality fats and proteins to burn throughout the day.

Not too long ago, there was a bit of a hubbub in literary circles.

When asked for his advice, Philip Roth told an aspiring writer,

Elizabeth Gilbert, getting wind of this, wrote in response,

The New Yorker’s Avi Steinburg also weighed in, giving what I think was the most measured opinion.

Welcome to the Club. Get outta here.

I see this dynamic with business owners as well. “Oy, this is terrible. You work 14 hours a day, 7 days a week, you pay half your income in taxes, and no one believes you have a real job. There’s no security, no health insurance. At the end of the day, you just want to pull the covers over your head.”

Unquenchable

Sure, that’s that truth. At least, some of the time. That’s what Philip Roth was referring to.

But what about Elizabeth Gilbert’s point? You get to work for yourself. You call the shots– Control is one of the main indices of happiness. ‘Purpose’ and ‘Mastery‘ are the other two– both things which solopreneurs tend to have well in hand.

But, like Steinburg points out, I think the truth is somewhere in the middle. The cool thing (and also the terrifying thing) about being self-employed is that you’re not buffered from the consequences of your actions. On the con side, that means when you screw up, you can screw up your whole life.

But on the plus side, that positive feedback loop you get into from experiencing the rewards of your efforts is seriously addicting! I’m convinced that’s why entrepreneurs are always like “I hate it, it’s hard, it’s scary — but I couldn’t do anything else” We’re all addicted to the rush of making small bets (whenever we make a decision) and winning. We get better results directly proportionate to the effort we put into things (even more so when we work smarter). And most importantly, we get to do things that we’re good at, for reasons that matter.

What do you think? Is self-employment easy or hard? Or both?

Do you rely too much on guarantees?

Have Something of Value to Sell

photo: LSE Library

What the hell kind of business is that?

I have no problem with content marketing, for instance. Give away your best stuff, sell just a little bit of it, that’s fine. But until you have something for sale, you don’t have a business. You have— at best—a movement.

So the first fundamental: Have something of value for sale.

Know Your Right People

The second thing, is know who your right people are. Ideally, they should know who you are as well. It’s very hard to have the first fundamental without the second (indeed, you almost certainly need the second first, but the first is first because it is the most important. Because if you only have your right people, but you don’t have something for sale, you do not have a business yet. You have, as I said, a movement.)

Know Who You Are

We build the best damn phone booths around

The third thing is to know who you are.

I know, that sounds strange in a business context, but if you’ve done any reading, you know that there are more ways to build a business than there are stars in the sky, and none of them is unequivocally the best.

So knowing yourself (and to a lesser extent, Your Right People) is bar none, the simplest way to figure out how you will build your business. You will build it in such a way as it plays to your strengths and preferences.

You also want to Stand For Something. Not only because Standing For Something is a good thing anyway, but also because Standing For Something makes you a lightning rod for your Best People. This is sometimes known as “Knowing your Why”, and is a very important subset of Who You Are

I don’t know that anyone does every aspect of these fundamentals perfectly. Knowing is one thing— Execution is quite another.

So I’ll leave you with the key to good execution:

How are you doing with your business fundamentals?