meet me again
little white mare.
nuzzle thy muzzle
into  m’ear
tell me or’
all the time
you’ve been here.

Jacob was on the road when he ran into a man that tried to stop him. They fought through the night. Turns out the guy was an Angel, and he realized he couldn’t beat Jacob, so the angel touched his hip to weaken him, and said Jake you gotta let me go. But Jacob said, “Yeah right! I’m not letting go until you bless me!” [Genesis now...] The Angel said, “Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel, because you have struggled with God and with men and have overcome.”Jacob said, “Please tell me your name.” But he replied, “Why do you ask my name?” Then he blessed him there. So Jacob called the place Peniel, saying, “It is because I saw God face to face, and yet my life was spared.” The sun rose above him as he passed Peniel.

Ok! So here’s some background on the painting, should curiosity strike or perhaps tap you gently. Here are the words behind the gold:

Love will not betray, dismay, or enslave you, it will set you free. Be more like the man you were made to be. My heart was never pure. You know me. [Mumford & Sons, "Sigh no More"]

The stars got poured into the sky out of a magician’s hat last night, and all of them have fallen into my hair. Some have even tangled my eyelashes into luminous, playful knots. Wayfarer, you are welcome to cut a radiant tress that lays upon my shoulders. Wrap it around your trembling heart and body that craves divine comfort and warmth. I am like a pitcher of milk in the hands of a mother who loves you. All of my contents now have been churned into dancing suns and moons. Lean your sweet neck and mouth out of that dark nest where you hide, I will pour effulgence into your mind. Come spring you can find me rolling in fields that are exploding in holy battles of scents, of sounds- everything is a brilliant colored nova on a stem.

Forest animals hear me laughing and surrender their deepest instincts and fears. They come charging into meadows to lick my hands and face. This makes me so happy, I become so happy that my rising wink turns into a magic baton. When my soft-eyed creatures see that wonderful signal we all burst into singing and make strange and primal beautiful sounds! My only regret in this world then becomes: That your shyness keeps you from placing your starving body against God and seeing the Beloved become so pleased with your courage that His belly begins to rock and rock, then more planets get to leap onto the welcome mat of existence all because of your precious love. The friend has turned my verse into sacred pollen. When a breeze comes by falcons and butterflies and playful gangs of young angels mounted on emerald spears take flight from me like a great sandstorm that can blind you to all but the Truth! [The Gift by Hafiz translated by Daniel Ladinsky, "Out of God's Hat"]

They change your name, they change your face, and try to hide you from the human race.But still you broke through and spoke to me and said follow me and you will see. You say follow me, follow me, follow me and you will see. [Michael Brown, "Hymn"] Is it so hard to believe that you’re the one I need? Is it so hard to receive this love I have to give- I give to you. Don’t complicate it. Don’t anticipate it. Celebrate it. Celebrate it and let it go.You ask me how I feel? You want to know is it real? Is it real? [Michael Brown, "Is It Real?] And She knows that She can trust you, because She’s touched your perfect body with her mind. [Leonard Cohen, "Suzanne"] We all are onward, onward, speeding slowly, surely bettering, Life, life an endless march, an endless army. The world, the race, the soul- in space and time the universes, All bound as is befitting each- all surely going somewhere. [Leaves of Grass, Walt Whitman "Going Somewhere"] By now the initial upset and mourning have settled but she was a treasure uncovered and now a treasure once again buried back into the everlasting universe. [Tarynn Wiehahn, "Treasure"] There are children in the morning. They are leaning out for love. They will lean that way forever. [Leonard Cohen "Suzanne"] I see the love in your Brother’s eyes and the love in your Mother’s cries. Sister don’t let go. Sister don’t let go of us. [Mumford & Sons "Sister"]

I put those words on there nice and clean in cursive (as I entered this into the Masscribes Exhibit and wanted it to look like I could write alright) and then went to feeling what images ought to go where, and when I painted froggie and traced a circle behind his head to make a circle for the sun, it gave me that goosey feeling to see that the words within the sun were “dance, effulgence, of sounds, deeper.” And so had to name the piece after that. I looked up the word “effulgence.” It means radiant splendor. Is the sun the radiant splendor of sound? And does that make hummus holy?

Leonard Cohen. He is wonderful, huh? Tarynn posted a video from his Live in London concert (wow) on her site TarynnO.com. After hearing that I listened to the whole album a few times. There’s this great part between songs where he says, “I’ve studied all the major religions. But…. cheerfulness kept breaking through.” and everyone giggled.

The painting isn’t exactly real- what with the white lion who doesn’t actually live in the wild anymore. White men shot them. Then there’s the San Pedro flower- the American guy that grows and ships that to people just got raided and jailed by our federal government. Then there’s Laura Who Owns the Fire- who knows where her line is now- what with the 22 battles between the US and the Sioux. Probably dead. Then there’s the frog- one of those mass extinction species on account of water pollution. But we still have the Sun! And Brother is he workin’ it. I hear even in Alabama they saw the auroras this week. From spaceweather: “The sun is waking up from one of the deepest solar minima in a century, and the solar cycle seems to be rapidly gaining strength. Forecasters expect a new “Solar Max” in 2012-2013 with plenty of aurora storms between now and then. Stay tuned.”

Do indeed!

Steve and I went for a walk in the elements today. We walked up to a little fox in the field, who was sitting in the dry grass licking his little feet. We walked towards him, his back to us, and his sweet little furriness did not mind us, he just went licking about as the sun shined on his head and he laid in the sand and the breeze moved through the oaks and the maple trees. He is so cute.

Steve said, “Trees grow tall towards the sun. They need soil and water. Do you think part of dying in life is dying to trying to be someone special? Look- they just stay right here.”

On our way home he held my hand and said, “Let me show you his den,” and we walked over to the shallow hole where fox lives. I was surprised! So simple! No furniture or anything! I said that before thinking- maybe he would have a little blanket in there? But no. Just enough room to curl up and go to sleep. I wanted to have him over and give him a burger or maybe a slice of pie, and pat his head while he eats. But he doesn’t really need anything from me.

Which is the great thing about the elements. They have their own length of reality. I hear that when you are a magical person and a powerful person you can ask the elements to do something and they will. I sat by the river the other day and asked the water why was I born a human? And the water went by and by, and did not say anything, nor stop what it was doing, which was flowing.

So I was driving on the highway wondering about the Periodic Table of Elements.
Check out the Noble Gasses:
HELIUM hexagonal, from natural gas and air. Greek for ‘Sun’ (helios)
NEON is from liquid air, cubic crystal structure. Greek “New“
ARGON from air, cubic structure. Greek “Inactive”
KRYPTON from air, cubic. Greek “hidden” (kryptos)
XENON liquid air, cubic. Greek “stranger”
RADON from the decay of radium, cubic.
Radium is number 88, Symbolized by “Ra.” Radium is also the heaviest alkaline earth metal! But don’t touch it or get near it. Even though it glows in the dark and people thought it was curative so that companies added it to water in the early 1900′s, it is actually treated by the body as calcium and gets put into the bones and then eats away at the marrow. Not helpful.

But neat! All very neat.

I was thinking about how humans have hankered for certain elements, dug the earth deep for them, and want more but there’s not always more to find.

It’s interesting, isn’t it?
That perhaps the elements will limit us.

It’s elementary, dear Watson!

And so our mothers and grandmothers have, more often than not anonymously, handed on the creative spark, the seed of the flower they themselves never hoped to see – or like a sealed letter they could not plainly read.
Alice Walker

They’re both wearing the Fall Collection here.

It’s true that we do get stuck around here. I mean, take chickadee for instance. He was excited to find the seed house hanging in the air, and he squeezed himself into it. It seemed like a good idea at the time…but then he couldn’t find the hole that got him in, nor a way to fly out.

…so he flapped his wings a bit and made some noise. And you know how the saying goes- knock on the door long enough, and someone is bound to open it for you.

God, the infinite eye, is able to see all, and all able-to-see’s originate in that I. So focus on your abilities! Focus on your ability!

Without further ado…

Samer Jaber in NYC asked me to make a calligraphy piece for his brother, Ronnie. This is his favorite quote. Clicking on it will open it, and clicking again will enlarge it.

I heard “Mysterious Ways” on the radio yesterday. What a great song. Now I’m listening to Achtung, Baby!

I’m down here in Pennsylvania with Pop-Pop and Mollie. I made some dinner tonight, and I’m gonna tell you what: that gravy that comes in a jar is pretty good!

Pop-Pop came home today from the Rehab place and he swore he’d never climb a ladder again. He said, “I swear on a stack of bibles that I’ll never climb another ladder. Why I wouldn’t even climb a stack of bibles!” We saw lots of people with amputated legs there. And I’ll tell you one more thing today- having legs and arms is a fine fine thing indeed. Very fine! We all counted our blessings and came out with a higher figure than we had going in.

Finally took the blog down three weeks ago! And lo, here it is again. Dern thing. I’ll spare you the uninspiring details of internal and interpersonal angst, and suffice to say that I’m sorry for yanking this away without any sort of goodbye. In the future, when I feel complete with it, I’ll just leave it up here. O! My kitty’s home! Alabaster just arrived at the door…. ok I’m back. He didn’t come home last night. Steve and I called for him, but he was busy with his late night kitty escapades, which sometimes include eating mice whole and regurgitating them whole- all wet and ratty- on our doorstep. I love you, Alabaster! He’s like a little black lion with his great fuzzy flag of a tail. He just presently finished eating in the other room and came beside me and yelled out some meows and rolled on his back. So I rubbed his belly. He likes to know he’s adored. I mean, who doesn’t! He just went into the kitchen to talk to Steve. Now he’s back at my feet squinting his eyes and purring. It’s very difficult to write when the kitty is such a lovey beast. Anyway! Anyway! I’m sure there was some sort of important point to make here, unlikely as it may seem.

Hmm. Well, no, no there doesn’t seem to be a point. But if I do find one…

o wait. Yes now I remember! Read some of a book, Illuminations, that I wanted to share with you by a Frenchman named Rimbaud. The name “Rimbaud” was chiseled high into a stone pillar inside the pyramid of Luxor about a hundred years ago, though not by him- he never went to Egypt. Here’s one small bit from the book:

From ILLUMINATIONS

“The sight of him, the sight! and the old boot-licking and the penalties null and void when he comes.

His day! the abolition of all blatant and restless sufferings in music more intense.

His step! migrations more far-ranging than the invasions of early times.

O he and us! pride more largehearted than lost charities.

O world! and the clear sound of up-to-date adversities.

He’s known to all of us and has loved us all: let’s, this winter night, from Cape to Cape, from uproarious pole to the castle, from the crowd to the beach, from look to look, our energies at low ebb, announce him and see him, and send him on his way, and down under tides and high in deserts of snow, go after his sight- his breath- his body- his day-“

This from the notes in the back of the book:

The real poet, he writes to Paul Demeney, “Makes himself a seer by a long, immense, and reasoned derangement of all the senses.” in order to become the instrument of higher powers that long to speak through him. The poet can transfigure the drab “real” world into the paradise that shimmers, precariously, right under the skin of mere brute appearances. This is what Rimbaud means by “illuminations.” An “illuminist” is a person who can transmit light because he enjoys and possesses light himself. Rimbaud knew that occultists have always taken the sun to be the symbol of universal creative energy. Swedenborg says that God appears in the heavens as the sun because he is the Divine Love by which all things of the spirit exist, just as by means of this solar light all natural things exist. When a seer has transformed himself into pure light and has placed his own mortal will in direct touch with the voice-tones of divinity, his words will be magically transmuted into a luminous new kind of language that will change life itself! His powers are now unlimited because he has become one with divinity. He’s now a creator in his own right….the first duty of man, according to Levi, is to perceive full the significance of what he’s able to experience and to utter (to “utter” is to “make outer”) Then humanity will glow in the dark like stars and angels. That’s the burden Rimabaud was laying… in Illumination: “I’d made a vow, in absolute sincerity, to bring him back again to his primitive state of son of the Sun.”

And from Adi Da:

“This is not a place of comforting. Only those who realize that are fit to love here.“

Steve and I are going to give it a go anyway. We married each other! It was just completely fantastic in all the ways that wonderful is. Our friends and family were here (o happy day!) and we danced and sang songs and ate cupcakes and smoked a peace pipe. Here’s Aly the beautiful flower…

And I had to include this picture from Steve’s Bachelor party. Before they left in the RV headed for Massachusetts, Steve and the guys were all raucous and rowdy. I heard a bunch of times, “Hey what happens at the bachelor party stays at the bachelor party!” “Yeah!” “Yeah!” accompanied by chest thumping and tough guy walks and all that. Steve got home really late that night, and in the morning when he woke up I asked him as he was fresh from sleep, “Did you have a good time?”

As he opened his sparkly eyes cozy in his pillow he said, “Yeah! We went to the spring and drank so much water and then when we picked up Ryan at the farm, Sarah fed us all blueberries and vanilla ice cream!”