Imagine for a moment if you could use something to draw you into action, to inspire you in such a way that you could just do what needs to be done (so you could get to the things you really want to do)? And if there was a limitless supply of this magical something?

There is, and you have it. 

It’s your emotions. Consider this, how much easier is it to do something you want to do, that you feel good about compared to something you dread? 

Infinitely easier. 

This is a skill you can learn. It’s a fantastic self-coaching tool. I explain it all here. Listen to the recorded class, use the worksheet, and let me know how different it feels. 

Learn the process

Listen to the recorded class:

To download the mp3 file for later listening, right-click Super Simple Self-Coaching (ctrl-click for macs) and select “save link as…” to save the file to your hard drive.

Get the worksheet here.

Want to learn other self-coaching skills?

When you work one-on-one with me, I not only coach you, I teach you how to coach yourself. Your brain will learn new ways of thinking that will benefit you for the rest of your life.

Schedule a consult with me to experience this for yourself.

Back on Track: Make this the year you reach your goals

Do you set big goals or resolutions, and fail to reach them?

Or maybe you’ve quit setting goals altogether because you can’t stand the thought of being disappointed.

Again.

It doesn’t have to be so hard.

In this workshop, I will teach you the three reasons traditional goal-setting (and resolution-making) doesn’t work, and what to do instead. Then you’ll learn my “Good Enough Goal-Setting” process so you won’t get tripped up by perfectionism.

After you learn the process and set a goal for yourself, the real magic happens! I’ll coach participants and answer questions live. People’s real-life situations will help me teach everyone how they can move forward with their goals. You’ll be able to set goals and achieve them anytime you want!

Tuesday, March 10 from 6:30pm to 8:00pm MST

Changing Hands Bookstore, Phoenix

Get more details and sign-up here.

Back then, snorkeling would have been absolutely unthinkable. See, at that point, not only did I not know how to swim, but I had a pretty strong water phobia. It had gotten so bad, I obsessively tried to not let water splash me in the face while in the shower.

Just imagine the mechanics of that for a moment.

When faced with an actual body of water, I was this close to a panic attack. I don’t mean just a little anxious, but rather, full-on, heart-pounding, sweat pouring, choked breathing, pretty sure I was actually having a heart attack and going to die, panicking.

The last time I’d experienced it was when I was standing on the banks of a four-foot deep, man-made lake with my girlfriends. They were trying to talk me into canoeing. I was trying not to cry.

Something had to change

Then, in January 2007, I came to a crossroads. I was going on a month-long adventure in New Zealand in March of that year. I realized I could miss out on some amazing things, or do something about it. I decided to do something about it, and learned to swim.

Fast forward to now, eight years later. There I was, standing in a few feet of water, mask and snorkel on, those long-ago feelings of panic starting to rise.

I was near tears

Standing there, I was panicking about the water, and about the fact that I was panicking. It didn’t help to be upset that I was upset about something that I thought I had already transformed. Recognizing that helped. In that moment, I could recognize that I had overcome something similar before; that I had tools available to me; that I had many choices available to me, including simply breathing. And, most of all, it’s not about never getting stuck again, but how you treat yourself when you inevitably do.

Remembering all of this allowed me to choose what to do next. I set myself up for success, clutching the hand of my very patient guy and practiced putting my face underwater.

It didn’t take long before I felt brave enough to let go and float for a few minutes. Then, I was able to swim off a few feet. I floated over a coral reef and there were fish! Beautiful tropical fish. Gorgeous coral. Bright anemones. It was a whole new world just 15 feet off the beach.

I was near tears again, but for a completely different reason

What is fear keeping you from? What might you discover if you could venture out and see something new?

If you haven’t been able to get there on your own, yet, consider what it would be like to do it with Unbelievable Ease.

Still feeling stuck?

Answer six simple questions, and I’ll send you your customized strategy to overcome your productivity blocks and start taking massive action now.

If you’ve ever felt resentful about chores, or taking care of yourself, everything changes when you think about it as a favor.

I was a little under the weather. Nothing bad, just a cold that had been hovering around the edges finally caught up to me.

I’m well taken care of though — I had homemade soup to eat, delicious hot honey + lemon + ginger concoction to drink and soft tissues with lotion for all the sneezing.

But all this helpful stuff not because someone showed up at the door and stocked me up. But because me of the past thought these things would be nice to have should I want them in the future.

And let me tell you, past me was right.

It was such a relief to open up the freezer and pull out homemade chicken soup. And see there was homemade turkey soup for later. It feels so nice to be taken care of like this!

When I started to think about it, I quickly realized there are lots of ways present me can take care of future me, sweetly, simply.

It could be as basic as making my bed for future me, because I know how she likes to see a made bed during the day, and crawl into one at night.

Or putting things away when I’m done with them, because future me loves to find things where she expects them and resents cleaning up after past me.

Chores don’t seem so much like chores when I’m doing them as a favor.

Even if the favor is for me.

Done future you any favors lately?

What are you feeling so resentful about you don’t want to do it, that could be done as a favor to future you?

Perhaps it could be not doing that thing that future you will regret.

Still feeling stuck?

Answer six simple questions, and I’ll send you your customized strategy to overcome your productivity blocks and start taking massive action now.

Ten years ago, a friend announced to a group of us that she wanted to walk the Portland Marathon. She wanted us to join her.

While I had started doing something about my years decades of relative inactivity, walking 26.2 miles seemed impossible for me. I dismissed it immediately. “I’ll support you however I can,” I said, “but, I can’t do it with you.”

I can’t do it.

I did support them. I didn’t complain (too loudly) when nights out were sacrificed for morning trainings. I made goofy little affirmation cards, one per mile, to make them laugh when they’d want to cry (and probably quit). During the marathon, I met them at the start, gave them their affirmation cards and cheered them on at six or seven different spots along the way, bringing different snacks and drinks.

Verklempt and inspired.

During that long day, I had the opportunity to see thousands of people running and walking their way through those long miles. My response surprised me. I became choked up, over and over again. And, not just when I saw my friends. I clapped for perfect strangers until my hands were bruised, I cheered until my voice was hoarse. All for these people who had the tenacity and perseverance to do something I, and most everyone else, thought was impossible.

It still didn’t seem like something I’d be able to do, much less want to do, but something inside me, a place of possibility perhaps, cracked open — just a bit — on the October day in 2004. It was something that would grow way beyond anything I could imagine at the time.

Fast forward, Boston Marathon 2014.

I’m still trying to put into words my latest experience at the Boston Marathon. I’ve talked a little bit about going from avowed non-runner to marathoner, but this last one, it was something else altogether.

For now, I’ll let this picture of me crossing the finish line at the 118th Boston Marathon speak for me.

Feeling stuck?

Answer six simple questions, and I’ll send you a customized strategy to overcome your productivity blocks and start taking action now.

A number of years ago I read a novel, I can’t remember the title or author’s name, just that the protagonist took up running. After reading it, a little question popped into my head, “I wonder if I could do that?”

The thing was, I’d been loudly and publicly claiming to be a non-runner for years *cough* decades. At the time, I was a few years in to a new-to-me active lifestyle, but running was still something I merely joked about.

I just couldn’t shake that little question.

It popped up over and over, when a non-running friend said she was signing up for a race, when my climbing buddies wore t-shirts from races they’d done, when I’d see people out running in the gorgeous Portland weather (Ha! In retrospect, that timing was probably critical.)

One day, I was at the gym, alone in the cardio room, walking on the treadmill. I looked around, feeling a little crazy, then turned up the speed until I had to start running. And I ran.

My knees didn’t break. My sports bra did a reasonable job. But most importantly, I didn’t die.

My running grew from there; at first slowly, and then more quickly (literally and figuratively) as I grew to love it. Each new stage always started with that question, “I wonder if I could…

…run to the park?

…run my favorite trail in the gorge?

…run a race?

And I did.

That first race, a half-marathon in April of 2011, was what really started me dreaming. The energy of the other runners, the spectators, running down the middle of city streets. I let my mind go crazy dreaming about the possibilities beyond this, “I wonder if I could run a marathon, if maybe I could even get into the Boston Marathon?”

I could. And I did.

On April 21st, 2014, three years and two weeks after that first race, I ran the Boston Marathon.

From dream to reality

While there are lots of things I did to make that day happen, my process for bringing it, or any other dream, into reality is always the same.

It’s these three basic steps:

1. Pay attention when I start asking, “I wonder if…”

2. Decide to do it.

3. Take somewhere between one and a bazillion tiny actions to bring it into being.

Oh sure, you can divide those steps into more steps, but these three are the essentials.

The thing is, most people get caught up trying to figure out #3. Here’s a secret I’ve learned from a lifetime of being big dreamer me, and working with big dreaming clients, who need to be big doers: When you’re getting stuck over and over again, and just not moving forward with ease (which doesn’t always mean easy), and think it’s about the plan, take some time to back up and check in with #2, your commitment to the dream.

Is there a part that doesn’t fit any longer? Are you getting lost in glades of reluctance, something that brings up concerns?

When those things have been made conscious, and transformed, the doing becomes infinitely easier.  When you’re hooked in and committed to your dream, you’ll figure the rest out — any obstacles are temporary and can be navigated.

Sometimes your dreams need nurturing and flow, sometimes structure and plans, but they always, ALWAYS need your full commitment.

Photo: Me at mile 18 of the 2012 Portland Marathon, channeling the joy of “I get to do this!” 

This post was originally part of Andrea Schroeder’s Give Your Dream Wings Blog Hop, a peek inside the process of how inspiring people make the magic happen. Learn more about Andrea and her free e-course, Give Your Dream Wings. 

Still feeling stuck?

Answer six simple questions, and I’ll send you your customized strategy to overcome your productivity blocks and start taking massive action now.

When you’re feeling stuck and want to move forward, sometimes you need to go backwards first.

Let’s say you have a habit, a pattern that isn’t working for you. Maybe it’s frustrating, or starts a torrent of mean chatter in your head, or you just don’t plain enjoy it.

Maybe your habit is starting out your morning by getting online right away. You start by checking email then moving on to Facebook, or Twitter, or just clicking around looking at blogs or news articles, or what-have-you. Next thing you know a certain amount of time has past. More than you realized.

Not so horrible in and of itself. But if it leaves you feeling like you’ve been wasting time, or are still needing something, or just aren’t getting done the things you want to do, then it starts to feel like a problem.

The noticing–that’s the important part.

If you don’t even realize you’re doing it, you can’t make any changes. But once you have awareness about it you can do something about it. Although it’s possible it can get even more annoying first.

Here’s why.

If you’re anything like my clients, or me, you might try some systems things first. Something like setting a timer, or giving yourself a reward for not doing it (or doing what you want to be doing), or otherwise trying to set it up so you don’t do it anymore. This can be enough to keep your attention where you want it to be.

On the other hand, it can make things feel worse. If those systems you set up to keep you on the straight and narrow don’t work, self-recrimination can kick in. That’s when the “I should have more willpower!” self talks begin. Also, not very helpful.

On the other hand, it can make things feel worse. If those systems you set up to keep you on the straight and narrow don’t work, self-recrimination can kick in. That’s when the “I should have more willpower!” self talks begin. Also, not very helpful.

It isn’t always about your childhood.

Certainly, you can delve into the behaviour, understand what you’re seeking from it, and find other ways to meet those needs. This is great. And also sometimes more time and effort than you want to put into it.

So, you can start by backing up. Look at the steps you take to do the thing you don’t want to be doing. Get all curious researcher on yourself and take some notes.

And then back up some more.

Back all the way up to the point where you have free choice. (Because let me tell you, if you’re already clicking around the internet or standing in front of the open refrigerator or sleeping in instead of working out) you have already fallen down the hole. There’s so much momentum at this point, it’s a gazillion times harder to stop.

So back up.

For the wasting the morning clicking around the internet example, retrace the steps. Really notice the details.

For the wasting the morning clicking around the internet example, retrace the steps. Really notice the details.How do you do it?
“I sit down at my desk in the morning. I notice the things I was working on yesterday, my to-do list, a pile of mail. I start to feel overwhelmed and I decide to just quickly check my email.”

Oops, there’s the hole, and person with good intentions falling into it!

So, back up before then. What are you doing?

“Eating breakfast, showering, getting dressed.”

Before that?

“Waking up. Sleeping. Going to bed. Reading. Relaxing. Eating dinner.”

Before that?

“Finishing up work.”

Interesting. How do you finish up work?

“At some point I just get up from my desk and don’t come back to it.”

What would it be like if you purposefully ended your day?

“Hmmm, that would be interesting. If I purposefully ended it, I would neaten up my desk. Leave the thing I want to work on first thing, right in front of me.”

What would your morning be like if you started with a desk like that?

“Oh, so nice. I would know exactly what to do, what was most important for me to start with. I could also turn off my computer. Then when I sit down at my desk, I can start by turning on my computer, which will get me some time to plan my day, even beyond what I left for myself the night before.”

So it turns out, that turning off your computer the night before helps you stay focused and spend your time where you want to, rather than getting lost in email, and falling down the hole.

Back all the way up to the point where you have free choice. (Because let me tell you, if you’re already clicking around the internet or standing in front of the open refrigerator or sleeping in instead of working out) you have already fallen down the hole. There’s so much momentum at this point, it’s a gazillion times harder to stop.

So back up.

Imagine doing this for something else.

Perhaps you find yourself not exercising as much as you’d like. Back up the routine, until you find the spot where you can make a change before falling down the rabbit hole of not doing it. Again.

Start with when you want to exercise. Let’s say you want to do it in the morning. Start there, then beginning backing up.

Think about a morning when you could have exercised, but didn’t. Trace back through your steps. Starting with what you did instead:

• Instead of getting up and exercising, I clicked around online for awhile.

• Instead of getting up and exercising, I spent some time on my phone, then got up.
• Before that I checked the weather on my phone, because I didn’t know what the weather was like and what I’d need to wear to go for a run.
• Before that I was thinking about what I should wear, and where my running clothes might be.
• Before that I was thinking about what I’d need to do to actually get up and go for a run.
• I woke up and thought, I should really go for a run this morning.

Right there is a point where you have free choice, and you’re pointed in the direction you know you want to go. But, it quickly blossoms into a bunch of decisions that quickly feel insurmountable. While you can be immediately successful looking at stuff on the internet. 

Set yourself up for success

Great mornings start the night before. So make the decision then, so you don’t have to think about it in the morning. Make it ridiculously easy for your morning self. 

• Check the morning weather the night before.
• Lay out the appropriate exercise clothes next to your bed, so you can put them on straightaway.
• If you want to go to the gym, have your gym bag packed and by the door.
• If you want to do a yoga video, queue it up the night before and roll out your mat where you’re going to practice.

Get the idea? Start with where you want to end up, and back up step-by-step to find a point of choice. Then explore how you to set yourself up for success.

How many other ways can you make one small tweak that will help you do what you really want to be doing?

Remember, the trick is to keep going backwards until you’re at a place where you are unattached and have free choice.

Still feeling stuck?

Answer six simple questions, and I’ll send you your customized strategy to overcome your productivity blocks and start taking massive action now.