It takes two to create a healthy relationship that works! Both parties need to share responsibility which in coaching terms is called “co-responsibility”. While the idea of sharing in relationships isn’t new, the “how to’s” of creating co-responsibility might be fresh insight that supports a positive shift in your relationships.

So what is “co-responsibility”? According to the Center for Right Relationship, sharing responsibility is taking a look at what you can be counted on as a partner in the relationship. Each person has a part in creating the experience you both want.

This approach might be different than what you are currently doing. What I see in my work with leaders and teams is that most team members feel they have no power or choice in relationship. Trust begins to dwindle and fingers are pointed blaming the other person.

To positively shift the dynamics in your relationships, here are some useful questions that will support you in developing co-responsibility:

• What can you count on/rely on from each other?
• What will you commit to for one another?
• What would help your partnership/team to flourish?
• How do you want to behave when things get difficult?

I invite you to ponder these questions as you contemplate the relationships you want to improve. These questions are a first step to developing yourself as a leader as you bring more of your authenticity in service to developing healthy relationships.

So what’s your next step? Share your wins and challenges at the blog so we learn from one another and bring about greater harmony in relationships as partners and teams.

“We are created, not for isolation, but for relationships. At heart, we are not a thousand points of separated light but, rather, part of a larger brightness. Within partnerships, teams and organizations, caring and committed relationships are not a luxury. They are a necessity.”
D. Johnson and F. Johnson

Running your business (& your life) doesn’t need to be overwhelming or hard. Amazing results are just 1-2-3 steps away!

As a coach, I have learned what it takes to find joy, create ease and achieve prosperity. I’ve personally taken these three steps and seen the positive impact in my life as well as the clients I serve.

It’s this simple:

1. Gain clarity of purpose and vision and keep it in front of you,
2. Have the right support behind you (and beside you, above you, and in front of you) and,
3. Take focused and inspired action consistently!

You might be asking yourself “how” do I start? It begins with saying “yes” to investing in yourself as you walk the path of change. For this type of transformational journey, partnering with a coach is imperative if you’re really serious about creating amazing results that are lasting and sustainable. This was confirmed for me yesterday when one of my clients shared, “I matter” and “I am worth the investment.” This is the place where you learn to believe in yourself and have the ability to accomplish what’s necessary for steps 1-2-3.

Too often I see people “stop” when it gets difficult. You’ve probably found yourself here as well as you begin to doubt and question; before you know it you find yourself doing the same old thing and expecting different results.

The truth is when it matters you can expect opposition. Don’t take it as a sign to stop but as an opportunity to pause and assess so you know how to proceed based on intention, wisdom and discernment. Partnering with a coach will give you the ability so stay the course. In my opinion, coaching is the “circle of life” as it relates to achieving extraordinary results by following the 1-2-3 steps.

Are you taking action on steps 1-3 above? If not, start today because you matter and the world needs what you have to offer.

So, what’s your next step? What will you commit to to achieve amazing results starting now? Post your comments at the blog and share 1. what you’ll commit to and/or 2. how working with a coach has helped  you achieve amazing results in your life!

“Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle. The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours.”–Ayn Rand

Photo Courtesy of Photoxpress © Olaru Radian

With the holidays ending and a new year beginning, now is the time to open the door to your 2012 vision. Why is this important? The abundance you desire is on the other side awaiting you!

As part of your year end celebrations, I strongly encourage you to set intentional time aside to reflect and acknowledge 2011. This check-in process is essential as it will allow you to really embrace your accomplishments as you dream for the year ahead. It also allows you to step back and access the wisdom for the sake of doing things differently in the year to come.

To support you in this process, I’ve provided you with a resource to Celebrate 2011. Be sure to download this tool and make the time to acknowledge all that you have become!

I would also like to thank you for allowing me to be a part of your journey this year. In 2012, you will see many changes to my work with the launch of a new business. My goal is to support you in making sustainable and positive changes that increase your productivity and profitability so you can have greater impact and influence. Stay tuned for the details to come and in the meantime, take the next step to open the door to your 2012 vision!

To your success and joy!

“Year’s end is neither an end nor a beginning but a going on, with all the wisdom that experience can instill in us.”
Hal Borland

If you were to rate yourself on the level of joy you consistently experience, what number would you give yourself on a scale of 1-10? “1″ means no consistency and rarely finding joy, and “10″ means each and every day, I find joy in my life. Where do you find yourself today in relationship to joy?

In my work over the years as a professional coach, many people find joy based on what they are doing so it’s often an inconsistent and/or a fleeting experience. Why? Because our external circumstances are always changing and with this unpredictability it can be difficult to sustain joy.

But I want you to experience”joy” as your “inner” experience no matter what you are doing or what’s happening around you! You might be wondering, “Is that possible?” I say “Absolutely!” as long as you put attention and intention toward being “joy filled”.

I really appreciate what Becky Mason, Director of Marketing at Compass has to say about “joy”:

“Choose joy today. Right now, make a choice to receive joy and let it flow through you – not based on what’s going on around you, but based on the fact that you are loved and that you have a purpose that is bigger than yourself. We have no control over many of the things that happen to us, but we do have control over how we respond and how we think about those situations. You might think there is no way you can respond positively or joyfully to a particular circumstance. I am here to tell you that you can choose to allow joy to flow through you.  We have control over one thing: our attitude. Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we respond.

A good friend of ours was diagnosed with cancer one year ago.  After lots of chemo, radiation, surgery, pain and suffering, he received a clean bill of health. He said one thing recently that really stuck with me. He said, ‘I will not allow cancer to define me.’ His response to a circumstance he could not control was to choose joy. To find the joy in the situation. Our circumstances can be pretty ugly, but do you allow them to define you – or will you choose to rewrite your definition? Will you choose to respond with joy?”

After reading this, what will you choose?

If you need a little encouragement or some next steps, I have two immediate solutions for you that will cost you nothing but a little bit of your time:

1. Listen to the first three days of the Compass MAP on the topic of “Find your Joy”. Visit my Compass website and click on the picture box that says “Find your Joy”. It takes you to the page of the MAP where you can access the first three days of audio recording (these are the ones in blue).
2. Join me for a FREE Compass Group Coaching Call this Thursday, 12/15/11. I will facilitate the Compass Action System using the theme of “Celebrate Life”. For more information visit the event page at Facebook.

I know this is a busy time of year so you might decide you don’t have the time. But if not now, when?

It’s counter intuitive but it’s true that if you make the time to find your joy, you will experience it more often and consistently. So make the time…you’re worth it!

Yes, you read the the question correctly….I just asked, “Are you crazy?” Perhaps you’re not quite sure so read on as I know your answer is forthcoming after you watch the video connected with this post. It’s a video that Steve Jobs, Founder of Apple made years ago. I invite you to watch it…it’s only a minute long and could change your life.

Steve Jobs–The Crazy Ones

So let me ask you again. Are you crazy? I hope so.

I want to be crazy and I want you to be too! I want you to know who you are with such crystal clear clarity that you remain steadfast in the pursuit of your calling like these other incredible men and women with the names of Einstein, Martin Luther King and Amelia Earhardt.

You have it in you, just like Steve Jobs did. It’s hardwired into your DNA and your job here on earth is to discover it for the sake of giving it back for the benefit of the world. It’s your legacy that you leave behind as you invest in the lives of others. And even though you may not be as “famous” as some of the people in the video, you will be “famous” with those who you touch with your unique gift.

Now take a moment to contemplate your answer to the question, “Are you crazy?” If not, do you want to be? The choice is yours…what will you decide?

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”
[Quote from Steve Jobs - Stanford commencement speech, June 2005].

Your thoughts?

You’ve probably heard the phrase “stop shoulding on yourself.” Intellectually you get that should’s, have to’s and ought to’s just drain your energy and leave you feeling heavy and unfulfilled. Yet regardless of this knowledge you find yourself “shoulding” more often than not.

So what do you do? How do you change the cycle from “should” to “want”?

Let me paint the picture of what’s happening behind the scenes for me. I’ve been in an intense transition season, on a mission to reclaim my “want to’s” as I eliminate the “should’s” in my life. It’s literally impacting every facet of my life, including my work, my relationships with myself and others, and even basic things like how I schedule my time. As I go through this process, I’m amazed at what I’m learning.

I have allowed “should’s” to drive my life…often! Mostly because I didn’t realize that many behaviors and beliefs that drive me aren’t core to who I really am. Through my discovery , I’ve tapped into what’s true for me so I have stopped several things cold turkey, like writing my blog. I haven’t written a post in over a month and half because it wasn’t a “want to”. I found I was writing because I thought I “should” based on others’ opinions, expertise and beliefs so I decided to take a break for awhile to get clear for myself.

So what about you? Where do you need to stop the “should’s” in your life?

I invite you to explore the question as you create awareness around where you are run by “should’s”. Without judgment, decide what you need to do with that “should”.

Here’s a system I use called the “Three D” system that will help you choose:

1. Dump it. If it’s not necessary or life giving do you really need to keep the should?
2. Delegate it. Maybe this is something that you can hire out or you can get help from someone else?
3. Defer it. Take a break from it. See what happens and decide when you want to pick it back up or if you even want to. This is what I did with the blog writing.

As for me, I’m not convinced that I’m ready to re-engage in blogging. I know I wanted to begin with this post as I continue to explore what blogging looks like for me. I am committed to staying connected to community in a way that is life giving and allows me to use my wisdom and inspiration creatively. I want to support a win-win and I’m not quite sure what that looks like, yet.

The key here is to focus not on “should’s” but on what you really want paying special attention to where you come alive. Choose powerfully to do those things that “light you up”, because this is the place  you will be energized, filled up and on purpose as you give to others.

What do you think? Share your thoughts and comments at the blog.

Bottom line: Stop the Should’s! It could be the most life transforming decision you’ll ever make as you free more of authentic self to positively impact the world!

Photo Courtesy of Photoxpress © musk

For the past five years, I have had the honor of partnering with Marcia Brixey, Author of The Money Therapist and Founder of Money Wise Women Educational Services to educate, empower and enlighten men and women around their finances. While the theme of the conference is about “money”, you will gain so so much more!

This conference is about bringing conscious awareness to your relationship with money and helping you go deeper as you connect with your inner passion and vision. You will leave this event empowered and connected to your heart, with practical action steps to improve your finances. Register for the conference today or visit the Money Wise Women Blog or attend a Money Wise Women Get Smart free call to take a next step in the direction of your dreams! And spread the word to increase awareness around this important event!

Here are some of the highlights of the event:

Money Wi$e Women Conference

The September 24th Money Wise Women Conference at the University of Puget Sound in Tacoma is quickly approaching. We’ve got a great lineup of keynote speakers and breakout sessions. This is our last conference this year.

Do you want to:

• Be financially independent and determine the age you retire?
• Understand your finances and ensure your family is protected?
• Get educated and empowered about your finances?
• Meet and network with other women?
• Learn from professional experts in a safe, comfortable environment?
• Create a plan for a healthy, financial life?
• Live a life that “lights you up?”

If you answered yes, register to attend the Money Wi$e Women Conference in Tacoma on Saturday, September 24, 2011.

The half-price registration ($19.50) for the first 25 people has sold out. But we know everyone loves a sale so we’re extending the offer to the next 25 people who register. Don’t wait — REGISTER NOW.

Warmly,
Marcia Brixey, President
Money Wise Women Educational Services

Read on for more information and to register

Oxygen therapy. What’s this you might ask? According to Wikipedia it’s the administration of oxygen as a medical intervention. In the case of this blog, it pertains to this question: “Could you use a breath of fresh air?”

Take a minute right now and breathe deeply. What do you notice?

Are you alive and energized?

Or are you exhausted?

No matter where you find yourself, I have an invitation. Will you take a break for at least one and maybe two hours and join me to experience some oxygen therapy as a way to refresh renew and refuel?

This Thursday, I’m facilitating a FREE group coaching call on the theme of Celebrating Life using the Compass Action System. This will be your opportunity to experience the power of community while leaving replenished and inspired. For more details about this offering Click Here or Contact Me. You can also visit my Compass coaching website or Compass rep page.

This coming Saturday, I have the awesome opportunity to be on “live” radio with my friend and coach colleague Laurie Hardie. I’ll be co-hosting with her on the Saturday morning radio show Coffee with the Coaches on Seattle 820AM or KGNW.com. Our theme for this call is the title of this blog “Oxygen Therapy: Could you use a breath of fresh air?” If you can’t make it, be sure to listen to the archived call after the fact.

Will you take an hour to invest in and “love” on you? Grant yourself permission to take a break as you connect with your spirit. I guarantee you’ll leave replenished and renewed, filled with love and joy that will make you a better woman, wife, mom, daughter, sister, friend and business owner.

“If you want a love message to be heard, it has got to be sent out.
To keep a lamp burning, we have to keep putting oil in it.”
Mother Teresa

Photo Courtesy of Photoxpress © Sergej Khackimullin

So often it is the simple wonders that fall in the shadows of the steep expectations we hold for our self and the way we think the world should work.

I am sure not to be the only one who experiences that whatever task I undertake or project I agree to, it consistently takes two to three times as long as I anticipate to accomplish my intended goal.

You think we would get smart enough to do better at time management by planning for these certain realities, accepting that it always takes longer. But no, instead we judge ourselves and compress life, not wanting to ‘drop a ball’ or say ‘no’ to anything.

Can we be happy even at these times? Expanding compassion and patience, not for the outer world or others, but for ourselves seems to be the key to happiness until we can adjust our perception of time and surrender to and trust in Divine Order.

It is important not to miss the simple wonders in our hurry to force life along. So today, amidst looming project due dates (I refuse to call them dead-lines) and having more on my plate than I have allowed time for, I choose to take the time to notice that the sun is out for the first time in days, delight that I heard my grandson giggle over the phone, and show gratitude for the simple wonders, big and small, that reconnect me to the perfection in mis-perfection today.

WHAT DO YOU PERCEIVE AS THE SEVEN WONDERS OF THE WORLD? 
by Author Unknown

A group of students was asked to list what they thought were
the present ‘Seven Wonders of the World.’ Though there were
some disagreements, the following received the most votes:

1. Egypt’s Great Pyramids 
2. Taj Mahal 
3. Grand Canyon 
4. Panama Canal 
5. Empire State Building 
6. St. Peter’s Basilica 
7. China’s Great Wall

While gathering the votes, the teacher noticed that one quiet student hadn’t turned in her paper yet. So she asked the girl if she was having trouble with her list. The girl replied, ‘Yes, a little. I couldn’t quite make up my mind  because there were so many.’

The teacher said, ‘Well, tell us what you have, and maybe we can help.’

The girl hesitated, then read, ‘I think the ‘Seven Wonders of the World’ are:

1. to see 
2. to hear 
3. to touch 
4. to taste 
5. to feel 
6. to laugh 
7. and to love.

The room was so quiet you could have heard a pin drop.

The things we overlook as simple and ordinary and that we take for granted are truly wondrous!  Be grateful for simple things!

Special credit for this blog post goes to Rhonda Hall, founder of The Center for Happiness. Be sure to learn more about Rhonda and her work at www.driveyourselfhappy.com.

Your life is on the fast track; school is ending, you’re preparing for the summer, and somewhere inside there’s a nagging question whispering “How will I do it? How can I be effective this summer as a Mompreneur when both my home and my business need me at the same time?”

The answer? It’s an inside job and only you hold the wisdom.

I’m asking myself these same questions, especially during this season of my life. My daughter just completed 4th grade last week and as I watched her with great joy at the awards ceremony, I wondered what happened to my little girl? Now that she’s 10, I realize that we are on a new trajectory of her life that is preparing her to become a woman and honestly, I don’t want to miss any of it.

My reality is that I’m a single parent which means I need to work; however, I’m on a mission to do this in the most life-giving and fruitful way. I am dedicated to leveraging my time, energy and resources for the sake of achieving my “lights on” vision. I am committed to thriving as a woman, showing up consciously and engaged as a Mom, while growing a sustainable business that leaves a positive impact on others and makes a larger contribution in the world.

How about you? What do you want?

It’s a tall order and I truly believe it’s possible for you and for me. It requires tenacity, perseverance and commitment to continue finding your way in the midst of an ever changing world as you create a life that is “less, yet more”.

I’m not alone in this movement….This is what I’m up to with Wendy Balman and our work through The Leadership Collaborative and Compass. Wendy and are just two examples of thousands of others who are after the same thing; another movement of these types is led by Soren Gordhamer who shares his thoughts about the 2010 Wisdom 2.0 Conference that he created.

Soren poses the question:

“What does it mean to say “yes” to a connected life and use all of the great technologies of our age AND say “yes” to what it means to have an inner life and cultivate wisdom, compassion and awareness?”

Ahhhh, sweet music to my spirit as I listen to industry experts from Google, Twitter, Facebook and more share their insights and ask provocative questions at the Wisdom 2.0 Conference Highlights. Be sure to watch the video and post your comments at the blog.

So what  do you think? Is it possible to live from the heart, honor your role as a Mom AND build a sustainable business at the same time? Let’s get the conversation going…the time is now!