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She Who Hates a Type Like Me..

2014-06-06T19:03:00.000+02:00

This post I'm going to write about someone who is not so pleasant that I know. A person who keep defending herself saying she's so good this and that but when you know more, she is just a big hypocrite. I'm sorry if there are things I wrote here that is not so good or a little harsh about her. I will named her Doris. This is how it's all begin... I met Doris several months ago. Somewhere towards the end of last year. It happened in an eatery. I walked in to get some pastry in a local café and she was there laughing fairly loud (having a good time) with someone who know me, Tania. The two of them were talking quite loud and there were lots of laughter. Who won't notice because they sat right at the corner of the entrance. I walked pass by not bother to check on them. Anyway, it's feel good to see people having their great time. As I stood in front of the cake shelf, "Cassie, hello!! You're alone?" I turned my head towards that voice. It was Tania. Yes, I was alone there. I waived at her and say hold on. She smiled.. Just a couple of minute, I'm done so on my way out, I approached them just saying hi back to Tania and apologize that I did not notice her earlier. This lady besides her, gave me a "one of a kind" look. I can't interpreted that look but who really cares anyway. So Tania introduced us she said "Met my friend Doris.."

Well... Hi Doris! I don't know how that came out of her mouth "Hey! So beautiful ho!" If that was a guy, I would have roll my eyes and say jerk! I know that was a compliment but with her voice tone and the facial expression, it wasn't sincere, not even a tiny bit. I left and let them continue their good time. Exactly two days later I received a text message from Doris saying she got my number from Tania and asked when I'll be free that she wish to share something with me. Not to be rude, I replied her saying I'm not free this time around. Perhaps next time soon. She keep asking again and again then I asked her "What is it that you can't explain through phone by text messages or phone call? What is so secretive that I must go to see you for? I guess this offended her but it is entirely up to me to meet or not to meet anyone. Especially her, I'm not even comfortable with her from the first sight. Which I am very sure she won't click to me well. She's someone in her late 40s. Actually it's not about the age or look or anything but I found her irritating and annoying because she does not know how to talk properly to someone she just know yet she don't know when she annoyed someone.

It's getting too much almost like a harassment each time she sent a text messages. The few that I recalled, the messages from her including what is my marital status, how many boy friends that I have, what's my religion, if I believe in God and etc.. Come on!! What on earth is she doing. The one text message she sent that made me to call her back almost immediately was this one, I still have it in my phone. I type exactly the way she typed. Don't mind her language, she said she's Chinese educated, not so good with English. Her text message "You know how sinful you are? We human all have many sins. You make yourself beautiful so men will look. Bad sin when men look, you smile happy because you feel beautiful. Pray to God. Ask forgiveness. Look not important, brain important!" Jeez! At that very moment I imagine she was right in front of me. The 4 inch heels that I had on will certainly keep her only half of my height but of course body size, I'm slightly smaller than half of her. Sarcastically, I'm giving you the idea of how she looks like. Very voluptuous and perhaps only 4 foot 5 tall. Yes! That's her..

I called her but she did not pick up my calls few times. Lucky her I'm the type that forget quite easily. I do not get angry easily because angry is such a negative feeling. I want to keep myself positive because it's good for life. I know how the conversation will be if she actually pick up the call. Not that I want to pick a fight but I need to confront her like "Hey! What's your problem with me?"

Days goes by but one day, maybe few weeks later after that crazy text message from her, so happened that I bumped into Doris in a local mall. I saw her first, I waited there until she walked nearer. She didn't see me until when she was exactly in front of me. I haven't say a word and there she go again "What are you up to now?" OMG! Unbelievable, she is just so loud. Nearly like an ill-mannered person. I took a deep breath and just tell myself, that's just her. Let it. However, that was a good opportunity for me to ask her "Doris, do you have a problem with me? What is it? Honestly, I don't even know you."

Amazingly, I was supposed to be the angry one but she acted very wrong. She try hard to open wide her small eyes and it just burst from her mouth. We communicate in Mandarin of course but I'll translate it here in English so that all of us can read. She said "I hate girls like you! The tall, slim, long hair, pretty and perfect girl. People like you only acted sweet and gentle on the outside but inside, you are evil and arrogant. You look down and pick on people like me.." Just remarkable what she said. Without further saying anything, she walked away quickly. I saw her face flushing red in either anger or embarrassment. I don't want to pursue her. Let her go.

The thing she said to me gave me a long thought. I'm not a girl anymore, neither is she. For an instance from her words, I'm sure she was bullied especially at school and have a rough time in her adolescence year and this has built hatred in her heart to a species like us. She just marked "all the same".. That's not fair to me because I've not done anything to her. Let alone bully. I've never bully anyone in my entire schooling time. I was too busy with books, not bully.

Then, I have a soft feeling for her. Can't imagine how bad she went through her growing up time. We all know children are naïve. They say nasty things sometimes, teasing each other and calling people by their looks like "Nerd, Fat, Skinny, Giraffe, Midget and so much more. I know too that she has been struggling with weight issue all her life. Since that day, she stopped texting me but I did saw her somewhere few times. I just try to avoid her. What I can concluded is, she need peace with herself and isn't she supposed to move on with her life? She's 48 years old now. Those thing at school was many decades ago. Perhaps something had really scar and hurt her badly. So people, please take bully seriously. We will never know how bad it can impact one's life. Let's work together to stop bullying.

It's right Under our Nose

2014-05-11T12:36:00.001+02:00

Have you ever did something and you totally not aware of it until when you're sane back suddenly you felt like you're just awaken from something. The worst thing is, then you had a wet palms, a cold sweaty palms. Phew.. Just happened to me yesterday. I thought this incident would be a good share. I know deep within everyone of us, we do care but under so many circumstances, we are helpless and defenceless to offer that little help to those who needed especially with what I saw yesterday. In another way round, we couldn't identify if there are really victims and oppressor involve or whether everything is just one's willingness. Even if there are really victims there, we are not the authority to do something about it. What about the guys or gang behind this whole ring?

This is how it started. After such a long busy morning since 5am until late noon. That was about 2.30pm. I knew I needed a little head massage plus a hair wash too so without guilt, I headed straight to a salon. I've got about an hour free time before the next appointment come up. As usual while getting the relaxing head massage, I just keep myself busy flipping over magazine looking for any interesting topic to read. Also keep replying emails that came in through my phone. I did notice there were few people behind me getting their own hair treats but I guess I was too occupied to turn around and look at them. Just heard some noises of people chatting. However, I can't avoid it when I have to walk to the basin for a rinse. Then I saw 3 female, 2 adults in their seems to be 30s and the other is a very young girl fairly guessed by me 16 years old. A very young and sweet girl with clear eyes, long straight black locks, had white T-Shirt with short pants on.

On first look, they looked like two ladies friends spending pampering time together and one of them took her daughter along. It's normal I thought until I overheard their accent clearly, they conversed in English with a very heavy accent. Certainly not our locals. Done with my rinse, suddenly there was a guy came in. Hmm.. This really make me curious! He's almost in-charge of them. Understand what I say? Yes, he chose the hair colors for them and he is the one to pay!! Trigger anything yet?

If not for his eerie stares and nasty comment on me, I won't blast him. As I walked towards the chair where I seated, he looked at me from top to toes and that stupid comment from his mouth referring to me.. "Oh! Lady of class huh!" I stared sharp into his eyes maybe he could felt it pierced through his dirty soul and that make him really uncomfortable. So I said "They can be ladies of class too and that one, (I refer to the teen girl) she can grow up decently if not you and your kind just destroying them for your own selfish need." I sat and I guess he don't really understand me that well. He speak broken English so it was a big chance that he have no idea what I just said to him.

At that moment, I just want to get my hair done as soon as I can. I don't want to be in that supposedly relaxing ambiance which turned unpleasant. The salon owner saw it in my eyes. How upset I was, I told the hair-dresser to get another assistant so both of them can blow my hair quicker. I said I'm in a rush. So within 10 minutes, I'm done and this time that filthy guy was sitting at the couch, still looking. Suddenly I heard the girl said "I love this phone so much. It is really a smart phone!" A chance for the guy to annoy me. He said it loud to her "Good, you like. Work harder. Next time can buy better one.." Oooh!! He got me. I mean it.. He knew how much I hate what I saw there. I couldn't stop it but it just burst out from my mouth.. "I wish you can sleep well just for one night but I know you won't. You will never. As long as you're still doing whatever you're doing now!" I paid for my hair service and just walk away. He's there with his disgusting grin. I was satisfied, at least I know he understood what I said this time.

In case you don't understand, those people are actually a pimp with his three girls. A flesh trade, selling of human being, sex trade or whatever that they named it. Yes, those three female are taken care by him. Imagine what the hair color will do to the girl. She will look much older than her age. Then easier to fake her age. Probably she's only 15 or 16 years old but with the new hair color, whatever outfit they make her to wear and shoes, they can easily say she's 19!! What happened to the world!! but prostitution, as we know probably is the oldest job existing. It has been there maybe since the existence of human. I saw it with my own eyes so near yet there's nothing I can do about it. I know that guy won't sleep well that night too or probably he will..

Sometimes things like this happened just under our nose yet there's nothing we could do about it. First of all, what if the girls involved into it willingly? Then we will be risking a lot trying to help them only to be rejected in the end. Then what if the pimp and his guys going aggressive about this and do something harmful? This can be dangerous really but how I really wish I could asked those girls what happened to them? How do they ended up that way? Do they really know what they are into? I went home feeling sad and lots of disappointment that day. I wish something can be done. I will not forget the girl's face.

As I started my car engine and drove off slowly, suddenly I feel so strange. I was half shocked. Did I really talked to the guy? Did I? I can't believe myself. Now cold sweat started to wet my palms and felt some on my forehead too. Oh Gosh! Yes! I spoke to him and pierced his dirty soul with my sharp look.

Low Self Esteem Among Children and Teenagers - Parents, what can we do?

2013-11-18T16:56:00.001+01:00

Over the last decade, low self-esteem among children and teenagers is growing extremely fast. If you are like most parents, what you want more for your kids is self-confidence. They will tell you that academic and athletic come later on their wish list. Without self-confidence, it is extremely hard for children and teenagers to achieve any goals, resisting peer pressure and deal with adversity. Ultimately, without self confidence, it will affect directly their overall happiness and career success.

How can you help? The most important part of your job as a parent is to provide love and affection every day. All children and teenagers will benefit as they feel love by their parents. It is important for you to realize that love and affection alone it is not enough to build their self-confidence. They need two more ingredients in order to help them achieve self-confidence. They need People Skills and they need Character.

If you did a survey and surveyed people with people skills and people without, you would find that the main difference is the way they were raised. People skill is certainly very difficult to learn if you don’t learn it at a young age. That is why you should start with your children as soon as you can. Start with the basic technique. Teach them how to greet people, to look people in the eyes. When they become a teenager, you should add a firm handshake to what they should do. Teaching them how to listen well and not to be afraid to ask question will also be a good for them. There have been many studies done that shows people skills represent 75% of their success vs. 25% is technical knowledge. Don’t diminish the importance of your children learning math, read and writing but the emphasizing on their people skills will go a long way towards their overall happiness and career success.

Developing character is an extremely hard thing to do. It takes a lot of commitment to teach it, be accountable to it. This is the second item your children and teenagers will need in life. Start as young as you can to teach them about integrity. Being honest can only bring good things for them. Teach them how to behave in today’s society. What is accepted and what is not and knowing that will help them both on a personal level and later in life, on a professional level. Also, you could have self-confident children or teenagers but lack character. This will result with your children to not resist peer pressure, potentially affects their personal relationship and professional life.

Why is it that more and more children and teenagers lack people skills and character today? It is mainly due to 3 areas. Today’s technology, the pop culture and academics emphasis are the main reasons. The technology today, having access to e-mails, IM, test messaging, cell phones, video games create a void in personal human contact which you can only improved by meeting people face to face. If you look at movies, cartoons, music videos and how it affects our children and teenagers, you will understand why it is another reason why people lack people skills. With the disrespectful gestures and expressions used today. It teaches our kids to behave the same way. It makes our jobs as parents much harder. Also, in today’s schools system, the emphasis in on academics. They do not believe people skills and character are priorities and therefore they do not focus on it. How many times have you heard small kids saying things such as “Stupid!” “Shut Up!” “Hell No!” “What the Hell?” Aren’t those sounds rude? But we heard it almost everyday from them.

There are many things you can do to help your children and teenagers to build their people skills and character. You should emphasis the importance of people skills before they interact with others. It could be on the way to school, to visit family or friends etc. Re-emphasizing greeting, eye contact and a firm handshake every time. Next, be a good role model. Remember, your children are always watching and listening so you should always act the part. Last, look for third party help, children, especially teenagers can tune you out so if you can find material such as books, CDs or DVDs; That way they can teach themselves as they become an adult.

Today’s generation is not learning people skills or character development. We do not hesitate to get help for our children for any other subject. So let’s remember what will ultimately help our children and priorities correctly so our children and teenagers never suffer of Low Self Esteem

Love Like the Olden Days...

2013-11-10T13:38:00.001+01:00

In the beginning of man kind, there are very strict rules and some rituals in every customs and traditions celebrating a boy entering his manhood. There will even be a celebration for puberty and of course circumcision. People used to take that really seriously. This kind of ritual comes along with full responsibilities as that boy is then considered a man and he have to start doing what a man supposed to do including the honour to quest for wife and goes into marriage. Marriages those days wasn't that easy as guys are request to do many tasks to prove that he is really man enough. The tasks including hunting deep into the wood, horse riding and many more depending on which surrounding they lived in. In term of marriage, the girls' family will request for something (usually tough request) to prove that the guy can really take care of their daughters. They are known for married because of love.

However, things change with time. Century after century, decades goes on until now!! Our living era. Perhaps the technology and advancement of life that we all sought after has make the value of love and marriage goes less. Not to deny that earlier times, there are many arranged marriages. Parents just get their children married without the needs to ask for their permissions but still the marriage last and many of them actually fall in love after the marriage. So, what went wrong with our society nowadays? What happened to most marriages that ended up with bitter divorced? I think the value of marriage has gone much lower now comparing to the olden days. Just imagine how hard the guy went through to prove his love to the girl he love and her family. It will not be easy for him to let go of their marriage just for some "irreconcilable differences" which is a very common reason for today's divorce cases.

Those time, love means everything to people. There's nothing more important than winning the heart of your love one. Nowadays it's really hard to hold on to love. What worst is when we confuse about lust with love. It happens everyday. If there are the lasting ones, we know there must be tonnes of effort put into the relationship. When there are lasting couples that we know of, we wonder can we really love like our ancestors did? How our great grandparents or grandparents did? Can we honestly still love like them? How does it feel to love like them when there are no mobile phones to contact each other, no email that can deliver in few seconds. No internet or data services for us to be online 24 hours! No Facebook or Whatsapp or Line or whatever apps that is available for us today. The good thing with this is we can check on the one we care almost immediately but it kind of turning more into virtual than the actual personal touch and care. Those days, they walked miles and miles just to catch the glimpse of the person they love. They dreamt about marriage and having children with their love ones. Although the marriages back then are just simple and humble celebration but it is more valuable than the Million Dollars weddings that some people throw nowadays. Some couples now get married and they don't even want to have children. Is the love not strong enough for them to wish for a child which carries feature from both of them? Or the priority of life has shifted to different directions. Those days the take time drafting love letters and sent it out even they know it might take months to delivered. They walk the distance to get to their love ones, they keep printed photo in the purse so they can have a look each time they misses love. All the meaningful things back then are what we call lame today. What really happen to us?

Because of this fading value of love that we are facing today, we always attracted to watch love movies or drown into love novel. The love stories seems so sweet that we even cried going through it but in reality, that's when we doubt those kind of love still existing. In a world full of disguise and fake individuals, we can't stop ourselves from being cautious and suspicious to people. That's the truth. It scares us to go through crime cases on news. Just too much! Thinking even about the love scams online or offline! Dude!! People do anything for money nowadays. For those who scam in the name of love, they tarnished the ones who really love from their heart. Asked me what would I say if out of the blue moon a strange message just came in which said "If only I'm a super human for just one day, I will go and pick the stars above and make them necklace on your neck for you are too beautiful for anything this earth can give. If only I have one wish left in this life which will be granted, I will wish for a baby girl with you because I know she will look just like you.." The reply sure will be something like "Yeah! Go to h**l then, perhaps there's something there which you can pick too! What baby you're talking about!!" It's not about being rude but this is the respond that person should expect out of sending such message out.

Now let me asked you, would you believe that someone walked miles to reach you because he don't have car and nobody he know could drop him over as time don't permit at that particular hour of the day. Definitely he don't want to have the chance to be late on the first meeting as he has been begging to meet up quite sometimes. Then, would you believe someone waited for 17 hours on the road hoping you would just come, see him and say hi? Now would you believe that someone would skip a meal because that little cash for meal he want to save it to recharge his phone so that he can keep in touch with you for another day? Would you ever believe that someone could hurts or harm himself so that you will finally come to check on him? He cried in front of you but you are doubting the tears are real or just movie. He said he have nothing left to offer but his heart and you're thinking.. "What is that heart for, black market organ trade syndicate?" I know this sound just so cruel as the respond he get for what he did but come on, what is a better way to respond? Be logical, can't just fall for him like that.

As time goes by, we... All of us are involved! Come on! Don't deny t. We all make things much easier as technology does. The rules are all loosen up, the customs and traditions are all left behind. Many people live on without rules anymore. I was once on a long journey flight and I watched one movie, an elderly man was talking to a young man and this was the line that I can remember "Young people nowadays like you, sometimes you get laid and you don't even know your partner's name!!" Whoa!! What about that? Not being prejudice or judgemental but the adult industry, everything beyond our imagination are available so the mentality has totally changed. If you can get it that easily, why do you need to try harder?

I'm here talking and reminding myself and all of you that true love still really exist. Be cautious and alert about people but never close your heart fully for love. I have seen it and it is real. Someone really hold on to the love that he believe in. He shut every doorway that might lead him to lose his love. He starve, he cried, he begged, he put aside his male's ego, he strive real hard to make his life better. He try every possible thing to keep that love and he believe at the end of it, all the hardship he is facing will worth the whole world once she truly belongs to him. Nothing could make him doubt what he have for her is the deepest love he ever feel in this lifetime.

Do You Believe in Past Life or Soul Reincarnation??

2013-10-24T17:09:00.002+02:00

I'm not sure how would you look at this. It is something out of my normal writing genre but I'm very curious about it. Life, religions, spiritual, meditation, soul... Are those connected to you? To me yes, they are certainly connected. Maybe I am not the right person to write or talk about this but from the events we sometimes encountered in life, some faces that we saw somewhere or things that happened. Not everyone but I believe some of us ever face it. As we called it Deja Vu sometimes. Have you been seeing a face in all the crowd and it takes you so long trying to remember who was that but you can never recall. The worst part of it is when you are so sure you know that person and you have been doing things together over and over again but who is that? We might be thinking about the person all our life but to no clue where we met. (Note: This is not about memory lost person. ) I'm writing about this because of someone I met. It remained jokes to me in the beginning but now I am getting curious about it. Not the stories he told me about me, but about the existence of the whole story. Ready? This is what I want to talk about... The past life, our past life. Do you believe? Our soul lives on but our body live only once. Lifetime after lifetime, the souls just reincarnate and what happen at "the space between lives"? That person told me "Believe me, I know you very dearly somewhere before. Not this lifetime but our past lifetime." I was sceptical with that because I heard a silly one before. The silly one was by a guy who looked familiar to me but I just can't recalled his name. When I asked he said the same "I know you before, from our past life. During primary school!" So hahaha! Ok, my most energetic time in life.

I neither talking about this without reading nor blindly writing about it without reference. I was mesmerized by how true it is. I watched him, I listened to him, I understood or at least trying to understand what he was saying and I believe in it. There's evidence on this. Not saying that I'm going to take you to the journey of past life discovery but there are few that I would share here. Know this name? Dr. Brian Weiss, a well known traditional psychotherapist. Dr. Weiss was astonished and skeptical when one of his patients began recalling past-life traumas that seemed to hold the key to her recurring nightmares and anxiety attacks. His skepticism was eroded, however, when Catherine, the patient began to channel messages from "the space between lives," which contained remarkable revelations about Dr. Weiss's family and his dead son. Using past-life therapy, he was able to cure the patient and embark on a new, more meaningful phase of his own career.

Dr. Weiss is using the method of hypnotize. He is able to bring someone to the process of deep hypnotism to connect with their soul. This is just so mesmerizing to me as how Dr. Weiss able to take someone travel to the journey back to the other lifetime when this person who lives currently is in a state of disconnected with their living soul. Isn't it interesting to know? Dr. Weiss is also conducting seminar on this topic across the United States. According to Dr. Weiss, "In hypnosis, the person is the observer as well as the person being observed. “Your conscious mind is always aware of what you are experiencing while you are hypnotized. Despite the deep subconscious contact, your mind can comment, criticize, and censor. . . Some people in hypnosis watch the past as if they are observing a movie. . . In hypnosis, your mind is always aware and observing. This is why people who may be deeply hypnotized and actively involved in a childhood or past life sequence of memories are able to answer the therapist’s questions, speak their current life language, know the geographical places they are seeing, and even know the year, which usually flashes before their inner eyes or just appears in their minds. The hypnotized mind, always retaining an awareness and knowledge of the present, puts the childhood or past life memories into context."

Here are some questions asked, all answered by Dr. Weiss, I want to share with you:-

Q: How can I go “within” ?
A: I suggest that you learn and practice meditation regularly. This has helped me a great deal, and now I meditate daily. After a while, the answers to your questions will come to you, but you must be persistent and patient and not get discouraged. This is a practice for a lifetime.

Q: Can everyone be hypnotized ?
A: Many people are able to be hypnotized easily and deeply the first time they try hypnosis. Some need more experience and practice. Unfortunately there is a percentage of the population (up to 15%) that can’t be hypnotized at all. Sometimes non-hypnotic techniques help those people to retrieve memories.

Q: Why do we reincarnate ?
A: I think everybody reincarnates because we have many lessons to learn, lessons about love, compassion, charity, nonviolence, inner peace, patience, etc. It would be hard to learn them all in only one life. Also, some people come back voluntarily to help others.

Q: Do all souls reincarnate ?
A: I think that sometimes you have to come back. If your learning is not finished, you find yourself being born into another lifetime. There may be some choices involved, however, but apparently there are limits to the choices. Highly evolved souls do not have to come back but often choose to reincarnate to help as teachers.

Q: Can there still be communication with a loved one if that soul has reincarnated?
A: Souls can reincarnate and often do, but their spirit also remains “available” in the spiritual world. Our soul is far greater than our physical body; it’s not limited by our constructs of space and time.

Q: Can souls “split” ?
A: In rare circumstances a soul can split and have more than one experience at the same time in order to increase its learning opportunities.

Q: Is there a difference in the evolution of the soul and that of the body?
A: I think that there are at least two lines of evolution. The evolution of the soul is different from the evolution of the physical body. At which exact time souls entered bodies for the first time I’m not exactly sure. But it is important to remember that these evolutionary lines are separate and distinct.

Q: Tell Us about your past life..
A: The first time I remembered was during an acupressure massage for an old neck injury that was flaring up. At that point, Many Lives… had been written, but wasn't published yet.
         And I wasn't telling a soul. I was afraid for my reputation and career. So I mentioned nothing to the therapist. I would go into this very relaxed, almost meditative state, and during the third or fourth one-hour session I saw this image.
          It was me, taller, thin, wearing a multi-coloured robe, standing in a large geometric shaped building. I knew I was a priest of some sort, very powerful, with the ear of the royal family. I had some psychic abilities in that life, too. And I was misusing it to gain more power, sex, greed, things like that. It was a very good life! Very easy, but wasted. The word "ziggurat" kept ringing in my head. I had no conscious memory of ever coming across that word. It doesn't prove that I didn't, in college or something, but I didn't remember it. I didn't say anything to the therapist, went home and looked up ziggurat. It's a word for architectural structures, temples of the Babylonian era, like the hanging gardens of Babylon.
         I had another experience years later. I had this dream of being imprisoned in a European dungeon, my arm chained to the wall. I was being tortured for teaching about my religious beliefs, which included reincarnation. And I died there. I became aware, as I died, of a message: "When you had the chance to teach it, you did not." I knew that was referring back to that episode with the ziggurat. "When you didn't have the chance, you did."
         And I knew that meant that I should have taught about love. I didn't have to teach about reincarnation and get killed for it. I went too far. The implication was: "Now you can have both. You have the chance, and you can teach about it." It's as if those two were the important past lives.

Dr. Weiss wrote few books which are top sellers and of course worth reading. He is working closely with his daughter Amy Weiss on their books. There are few that I would love to share the little details with all of you.

Book 1: Miracles Happen : The Transformational Healing Power of Past Life Memories
In their revolutionary book, Miracles Happen, Dr. Weiss, and his daughter, Amy, examine the physical, emotional, and spiritual healing that is possible when you freely accept and embrace the reality of reincarnation. A leader in the field of past-life therapy, Dr. Weiss has helped thousands connect with their past lives and experience tremendous healing. In Miracles Happen, he and Amy share these remarkable real-life stories to reveal how past-life regression holds the keys to our spiritual purpose.

The awareness that we have multiple lifetimes, separated by spiritual interludes on the other side, helps to dissolve the fear of death and bring more peace and joy into the present moment. And in Miracles Happen, personal stories, accompanied by Dr. Weiss’s inspiring teachings, reveal how getting in touch with our past lives can profoundly and permanently heal mind and body. In the end, we come away inspired, renewed, and assured of the truth that we are eternal beings who are free to heal our current wounds by better understanding our past. It’s a practice that helps us improve our current lives, evolve along our spiritual paths, and live each day with purpose.

Book 2: Many Lives, Many Masters
As a traditional psychotherapist, Dr. Brian Weiss was astonished and skeptical when one of his patients began recalling past-life traumas that seemed to hold the key to her recurring nightmares and anxiety attacks.

His skepticism was eroded, however, when she began to channel messages from “the space between lives,” which contained remarkable revelations about Dr. Weiss’s family and his dead son.
Using past-life therapy, he was able to cure the patient and embark on a new, more meaningful phase of his own career.

Book 3 : Only Love Is Real
With Only Love Is Real, Dr. Weiss takes his research one breathtaking step further. He portrays two strangers unaware that they have been lovers throughout the long centuries, until they are brought together again.

He shows how each and every one of us has a soulmate whom we have loved in past incarnations and who waits to reunite with us now. And he opens up entirely new worlds for all of us everywhere, based on a single, powerful truth….

Book 4: Same Soul, Many Bodies
We all have lived past lives. We all will live future ones. What we do in this life will influence our lives to come as we evolve toward immortality. Dr. Weiss encourages this important recognition because recently he has not only regressed his patients into the past, but has progressed them into the future. And what they have discovered is that our futures are variable, so the choices we make now will determine the quality of life when we return.

That is some brief about the work of Dr. Brian Weiss in helping some people finding who they were, what life they lived before and self discoveries. As Catherine, one of his patients case was portrayed in his book Many Lives, Many Masters, she was "Aronda" in her previous lifetime. The year flashes to her, and she found herself building a pyramid in ancient Egypt in 1900 B.C.

The awareness that we have multiple lifetimes, separated by spiritual interludes on the other side, helps to dissolve the fear of death and bring more peace and joy into the present moment. And in Miracles Happen, personal stories, accompanied by Dr. Weiss’s inspiring teachings, reveal how getting in touch with our past lives can profoundly and permanently heal mind and body. In the end, we come away inspired, renewed, and assured of the truth that we are eternal beings who are free to heal our current wounds by better understanding our past. It’s a practice that helps us improve our current lives, evolve along our spiritual paths, and live each day with purpose.

Do you ever wonder about your past life? If never, will you now? I started to be really curious, if I do have one, I wish to know who was I? What kind of lives I ever lived? And how many lifetime will I ever able to find for myself. If one day I will found it, I will share it here.

It Is Your Freedom to Dream and STOP Complaining..

2013-10-03T09:13:00.002+02:00

Life in certain countries can be really devastating. It often come to the point when most people waking up everyday to nothing. No hope, no where to go, no one there who can show them better way, no job and no promised meal of the day. Worst of all they are fearful to dream. Life in Third World or Developing countries can be really challenging and oppressing. As what we all know of, the rich will keep getting richer while the poor will keep going from bad to worst. It's when life has become a living nightmare. I've spend 10 months of my life in one of the African countries. A country where you can really see how the poor and the rich are noticeably divided. The area where the riches live in, the poor should just stay away. Justice haven't really found it's meaning yet here. Some people went into prison for no real convictions while some people went in because they were paid off by the real culprit who happened to be wealthy. Rich people can just made up story about someone and sent them to prison if they're not happy with them.

The issue I wanted to share here are issues that touched girls and women there. For sure nobody really know how many girls are forced into child marriage and it is often to men double or triple their age! For once I know, most girls does not have enough or fair value here. Why would I say so? I experienced it with a young man. (my driver while I was there) One day he was so happy to inform me that he's getting married soon. I was happy for him so we talked about it. To my surprised it was real what we heard or read somewhere. He bought a cow for the girl's family. Of course I'm not saying all family doing it but the one in rural area still highly practicing it. Girl's father demanded for things according to the value they put on their daughters. If their daughter ever went to school they will ask for something they think worth it. The education level applies to what they asked for too. Some asked for one goat, some asked for heard of goats, a cow or few cows and some other things which can be use to feast the village for that wedding. Come on! I might not say it right & I know many will disagree with me but this is how I viewed it. Don't you think the girl is equivalent to a cow? Remember everyone tells a story their own way. This is my way of telling this story.

Come on! For your information, they are still too many girls here denied educations. They can't go to school because they need to help their mother to fetch water. They can't go to school because they need to help look after the younger ones in the family. They can't go to school because their parents can't afford it. They can't go to school because their parents say let the boys go to school, they will be someone one day and girls doesn't need to learn from school how to cook or clean the house. So that's what girls are for. Cooking, washing, cleaning and enslaved to the house chores and her family. Not to deny why many young girls are married off by their parents at such a young age. They said they can't afford to take care of her and if she's married, her husband will feed her and take care of her. Really? That's where I even read a write up a while ago about domestic violence in such marriage. A marriage that consist of young girls with her older husband, can be double to triple her age. According to the person who wrote it, girls in these marriage, they can't fight their husband even if he beat her because of his status as head of the family. He can beat her if she refuse sexual intercourse. (Do you know there's an Act protecting rape in marriage?) Whenever she don't want, that mean it's by force. She got beaten if she served meals late for her husband! Imagine that!! Basically it is "The husband marry them, feed them and they must obey to every of their demand. Be it wrong or not!!" Wow! This is really still happening. They will not protest because they are told by their parents- must obey husband. I think this is not obey, it's way beyond obey. What is marriage if only one side priority are taken care of while the other can't even speak.

Most girls and women in that country, they work like horse and they are almost not allowed to rest. If they can't work because they are not well or tired, everyone will assume they are lazy. They wake up really early to fetch water for the house and do all the house chores before they go out to do their work. Working mean every possible work available. Odd or petty works. Anything as long as they will get little paid at the end of the day. Sometimes they just stay outside office blocks or building and asked every passers by if they can help to get anything for them. They asked me if I need newspaper or anything and they can get it for me. After all you just need to give them something equivalent to RM1 here. Just give it to them, they will say so many thank you and God bless you. They stays outside sometimes from 7am to 7pm late in the evening to look for the little money they can so they can bring it home. During some unfaithful days they might ended up getting nothing despite the 12 hours being outside beating some harsh weather.

They sell groundnuts, cassava, breads, pure water and anything else. They carry all these loads on their head. Some girls carrying their younger siblings with them while they're selling or hawking on the street because there was no one available to help taking care of them. Very common you will see women carrying their babies on their back while working. I known of one lady who is cleaning our office building then. (Of course while I was in Africa) She sweep the office, the walkway, stairs and lobby. She clean toilets on every floor. She clean windows and throw rubbish for people. That was a five storey building and she was the only person cleaning it! During lunch hour, she will asked if anyone need her to go get them lunch. She sacrificed her own lunch hour to get things for people because she knew if she did that she will get some extra money. Think about that again, people does not even respect her. I heard they called or yelled at her "You woman, come!" It was so heart breaking to know that but she seems fine. People don't even bother to ask her name because they think not worth it. She came to work with 3 children everyday. A baby that she tied on her back and another two kids perhaps age around 3 and 4. I saw her sometimes giving food to her children under the tree and I never saw her eating. I believe she might only eat once a day, maybe early in the morning before she left to work or late at night after all her work done. Is that how a woman should live? I spoke to her few time, a lot with sign language because she doesn't speak English. What I know from the girl next office is, this cleaning lady's husband died in an accident while she was still pregnant with her last born. Look below, that's how they walked about the city selling things everyday.

Did you see how the lady in the centre tying her baby on her body?

That is just one of the story I can share or it will be too long as I sat at the road side with a lady selling grilled corn, I spoke to girls who's selling bread, I sat among hookers in Five Stars Hotel and many more. I just want us to be more generous with life. Stop or just please cease on complaining about every little thing that comes our way every now and then. As we complaint about one extra paperwork found on our desk this morning, think how persistent they are begging for work there. As we are complaining about the food in that restaurant too salty or tasteless, think if they have had any meal today. As we complaint that our body are too stiff and need massage, think if they have even had the chance to sit down resting for the tiny five minutes today. As we are updating status on Facebook, think if they can even read from A to Z. I'm not preaching here but if we could and allow our mind and body to be a little more adapting to life outside our comfort zone, I'm sure we are going to live better. Those are people who does not have any clue on what is there tomorrow but they never give up instead trying harder each day to live on this earth. As we are busy complaining to the left and right, you might never knew how many people are actually breathing their last breath. Complaining seldom take us to the next level, instead it might just waste our time and make us stressfully angry. Why do it then?

We have the whole world in front of us waiting to be explore. Why don't take the chance to make the best out of our life while we still can. Dreams and work on realizing it. Just know that no matter who we are, either the President of a country or just a garbage collector, we can never do enough for this life but that shouldn't stop us from trying. The smallest gesture or did can change a community or even a country. Believe that we shall all try to do some good. The enemies fight the hardest when they know God have something great for you in store so do not stop if people criticize you just once when you are trying to do something good. Have faith in God and do things sincerely from your heart.

What Is Perfect Beauty?

2013-09-25T15:44:00.000+02:00

This is just something I want to share about experience that I face a lot. Excuse me, it's not a story of bragging. Just a reality which I think can be a little helpful to share here. Everywhere that I go, I heard a lot of compliments from total strangers. People who I don't have any clue at all and of course people that I know too. However, I wonder why the look always came first. To be honest, I'm just an average looking person but I heard a lot "You're beautiful.." Isn't that ironic? To me, everyone is beautiful. Then of course I will smile back and say thanks but usually I will sealed it with "You're beautiful too..."

At first I just found it pretty annoying from guys because I took it as sign of flirting or something but as I grew a little older, now I look at it from another different angle. It comes back to me as when you look at things more positively, everything will be better and... that smile. Smile is a free gift from the heart. It's free but invaluable. You will never know when you smile to someone that might be the best smile they saw for the day after a long struggling day they been through. It's courtesy and nice thing to do. Trust me, it's not that hard to smile, they can't tie 50Kg bag on people's lips so it's not heavy to curl up a little of your lips to smile. By the way, everyone looks better when they smile. Putting on a long sour face will not make you feel better anyway.

Few example here for your pleasure readings. I usually pass through the International airport security or Immigration pretty easily. It's not something good to say but after a really long flight and queue, won't everyone wish the officer to just stamp it and let you pass through instead of more questions with some suspicious look on their face? Few remarkable experience I had, in LA airport last year when the Immigration officer, a guy asked me "Have anyone here tell you yet that you're beautiful?" I'm too tired to answer promptly. Then instead of asking me what was I there for, he asked if I need hand with my luggage. Sweet isn't it? The next was Sydney airport... (Toot... Toot... They're one of the strictest in the world. They use sniffing dogs throughout the airport ok!) There's this guy who I don't know that he could be that speedy. He slipped a paper inside my passport with a note saying.. "Hey beautiful, call me in case you have any difficulties at this airport next time. XOXO" and signed by Ian. That's his name. And the last I wanted to share is at Dubai airport, the Immigration guy said "Today itself I've seen more than 250 faces on my counter since my duty started but you are the most beautiful face I saw in a long time.." How about that?

It's not just guys, believe me ladies too. Sometimes they said "You look sweet in red" or whatever color I'm wearing at that time. Sometimes they said "You make the dress look stunning.." and most recently, a policewoman at airport stopped me and asked "Where's your destination?" I wonder what's happening. I told her and showed her my boarding pass. She just smiled and said "Miss, you're so beautiful." Thanks to her. I was once stopped by 3 girls in the middle of G Street in Washington, DC. They came from the opposite direction and asked if they can just snap a shot with me. I said yes and they were so exhilarated! Before I walked away they asked how did I keep the figure and the beauty. Ok, another remark here. I'm neither in size 2 like super models nor have any gorgeous hourglass curve as Beyoncé. In fact I'm quite straight in figure. Neither do I have obvious noticeable lady humps! (front or back) All just ordinary..

Not to mentioned how sometimes during queue people will just say you may go first or they give me a little bit more for what I ordered for and even better bargain or discount when buying things. Okay, let's cut all this short. Why did people say "You're beautiful.." ? Why people from all different continents use this same word? Beautiful.. So I started to be curious to the meaning of beautiful in the eyes of everyone. But what really touched me is the younger generation. Little girls, teenage girls and unfortunately, boys too. That lead me to start asking questions. One of my friends used to say I have a fan base ranging from 5 years old to 65 years old. That was just a joke from him.

The few incidents that touched me were when girls brave up to approach me. They said I'm beautiful and they wish to look like me when they grow up. Hmmm.... Couple of years ago I did an event with our local women. Some of them brought their daughters along during each gathering. The ladies said let them learned from young age. So few girls there age between 5 to 9, five of them. First gathering all of them just sat aside watched us quietly. After few meet up, they took the chance to walked up to me while I was busy looking at their mothers practicing on something. Actually the 7 years old girl looked really nervous when they approached me. It was sweet, they addressed me as Miss Cassie. All of them said they want to grow up to be just like me. I was bumped! Didn't know how to react to that but as usual smile first. So I asked "Why want to be like me? What do you sweeties like about me? Now all the words and excitement came out of their mouth. "You're beautiful. You're tall. You're slim. You're smart. You're really nice and kind" and oops!! The youngest one said "All our mommies listen to you and my mommy really likes you. She talk a lot about you to everyone.." Feel like my brain stop functioning for a while at that little moment. Somehow excitement really sparks in their eyes when they talked and surrounded me. They showered me with lots of love and joy. They are so adorable and one thing I know for sure, they spoke from their heart.

Since I had that simple chance, I talked more with them and part of the rhythm of our conversation went like this:-

Me: Girls, what do you see as beautiful?
Girls: They shouted instantly at the same time "You!"
Me: Why me? What about me? Can you girls tell me slowly?
Girls: You are so perfect. Your face are beautiful. Your skin is fair. You are tall and slim. Your hair shiny and long. Your nails are pretty and ......
Me: Ok, thanks girls.. Is that all you see as beautiful?
Girls: (This is by the 9 years old) She said: You have nice pretty dresses and all your shoes are nice! (By this she mean high heels/stilettoes)
Me: Don't worry Darling. You will have all of this when you grow up.
Girls: Why my mommy don't have that?
Me: (I won't answer to that and I changed to something else) So you want to be like me when you grow up right? Why?
Girls: Because you look like those girls in the magazines and TV advertisements. So famous.. You walk like models too
Me: I want all of you to know that each one of you are beautiful. Very beautiful. Just promise me do not be mean to people. Can you? Always try your best to be nice to people okay..
Girls: Love your smiles. You are so nice, talking to us. You're outstanding in the crowd and you are not scared or shy talking in front of many people.

And the cute little crowd disperse...

Did you notice about the conversation? That was a direct impact from media. How many of us actually fallen into the stereotype beauty? Medias only present girls with certain look while fashion shows parading extra slim and tall girls! What come to our mind then? Only girls like them are considered beautiful and they will live famously. Everyone love them and want to be like them. How many of us actually look like them? The honest truth, not many.. We are all real everyday people that comes in many size, shapes, height, build and one thing for sure we are all unique in our own way.

Another quite sickening beauty trend. The nip and tuck under knife procedure in the name of beauty. Yes! Plastic surgery. Why do we have to do that? Bigger eyes, sharp pointed nose, popping high cheek bones, sharp chin, boobs job and all the possible things. Don't you think that the features we have are from our creator? He gave us our own identity and he made each one of us over a billion population on this earth to be unique! There might be a look alike person somewhere. Similar yes but never the same. There is no second you or me in this world.

There was even one girl during a friend's wedding. She was so attached to me that day. She's the bride's niece. At the end of the wedding reception, this little 8 years old girl asked her mom if she can allow me to drop her home. She wanted to spend time with me so ended up I drove her home. In the car, she asked "Can you please make my face like yours?" I didn't know what to say but I noticed her so I told her "I wish to have a nose like yours and a define lips like yours. They are so pretty." She looked puzzle and she asked me "really?" She reacted like it was the first time someone told her that. I asked her to look into the mirror everyday and see how beautiful she is and she still call me on phone until now.

I wish everyone know they are beautiful. Do not let the beauty being so narrowly define. Real beauty comes in every shape, size and color. By the way I told the girls nobody is perfect. In fact I don't have the exact definition of "perfect" in a human being. I told them I don't have sharp nose, I have flaws and scars too. I have extra fat here and there and that help keep me warm sometimes. I use make up to enhance what is there not to change my face. I know I am blessed for the little height I have and somewhat a lean body. I don't starve myself, I eat everything that I want. I eat whenever I feel hungry. Live your life the way you want it. Make sure to live a good and healthy life. If you're too busy observing someone else because you want to be like them the result is you are living his or her life not yours. Don't let it be too late to the point when you realize you don't even know the real you anymore because it has been too long you're living the life of someone else. Remember life can be too short if we don't live it well and there's nothing permanent in life. With a blink of eyes, time pass us by. Whether you're using braces or have birth marks, who give them the right to say you're not beautiful? If your natural looks provokes anyone, forget about them. Just know that everyone have their own flaws. Please keep in mind magazine advertisements mostly is the end result done by professionals. A simple photo shoots involved so many people in it and Photoshop is kind of magic too.

We have the whole world in front of us to explore. Explore it, live your life. Don't live and bound to the stereotype beauty. Looks, undeniably is very important but that perfect beauty we sought after isn't everything that we need in this life. Be you and let's imagine beauty as the source of confident and well being not anxiety or worries which lead us to low self-esteem. You're beautiful.

So what exactly is perfect beauty? I guess there is nothing really is.

Welcome to Tania's Little Secret...

2013-09-06T14:35:00.000+02:00

Guys, sorry that I need to share this story with all of you. Some part of it might be quite intimidating and provocative to some of us but I wouldn't hide it because it happens around us. I believe it is everywhere. Though disgusting for some of you, I believe it's worth a share. Why would I want to share something that is hurtful if there's no reason behind it. This is something I would say an advice for women from a woman who wish to cultivate a better generation of women and even men. Come on! Everything about women is directly or indirectly related to men. You read the story and you judge it yourself. I hope we can rebuild respect for women from the tiniest step, sharing a story of someone who made a permanent life mistake just because she was temporary angry, frustrated and upset during her teen time and now she is stuck with this kind of life almost permanently. I believe in teaching and nurturing from early age. Every woman was once a girl and every girl will one day be a woman. I've been a girl and now I'm a woman, deep within I think it is important for me to help young girls through their challenging time. As our world change through the century, people's lives change too. The high lifestyle demand and every social calling is a pressure to meet up with.

Welcome to Tania's life. Tania is a bright cute girls during her childhood, I guessed it from some photos that she showed me. She's always cheerful, smiling and happy. Just like the phrase "Little girl is made of sugar, spice and everything nice." However, things change during her teen time when her needs are different. She needs someone to talk to. She needs more attention and she didn't get what she wanted. So her inner-self started to rebel and she grew up a little faster that her peers. At the age of fourteen she had the enthusiast for boys , the opposite sex and she wished she had the chance to talk more about it with her mom but she didn't get that chance. Tania's mom was working full time and her work involved a lot of outstation travelling then. Her father was fully based in another state which only managed to come home every other month for few days. She was always surrounded by two younger siblings and her maternal grandma who were always too busy entertaining her Mahjong pals. She did not have anyone that she could really turn to or talk to at home and this has shifted her trust and interest to friends instead of family.

However Tania does not like to befriend her peers, she chose to find friends who are much older because she thought they will make her seemed cool in the eyes of other kids. When she was fourteen, the friend she had were aged around nineteen to twenty five. That was according to what she told me. She felt on top of the world when she was surrounded by them. They told her many things that got her into excitement. She trusted them so much that each time they told her it was fine to try something, she would not hesitate to try. Trying things for her mean up to the extreme. First started with few sips of booze. From few sip she upgraded to glasses and so forth. She confessed she love the tipsy light headed feeling and the silly head spinning. Drunk is the word! Under heavy alcohol influence, she laughed a lot and not really sure of what happened around her. She wasn't sure how was her first time happened. It was only realized by her the next morning when she woke up feeling really sore in her intimate area with some blood show on her underwear. She even felt ache on several part of her body. When she go for a thorough checked in front of the mirror was when she saw at least ten bruises on her legs, arms and tummy area with few nails scratches on her neck. She was really scared and trembling hard. She tried to refresh her memory but not much was there for her to remember. All that she could remember was she hanged out with four guys that night. Her so-called friends, she drink with them and the last thing in her head for the night before was Stan who sent her home.

She sat at the edge of her cute comfy bed.. Paused and didn't realized that tears ran down her cheeks. She finally knew what happened last night. She try to deny it but she can't. She had all the hard evidence that she was molested and raped with some flavour of violence!! She was really scared but didn't know what to do. She will never tell that to her parents or her grandma. She thought of asking those guys she hanged up with but she was too scared too. She locked up in the room the whole day and escaped school telling her grandma she was not feeling well as Mom was away for work that week. Again, her grandma will never ask further because she was too busy with her own agenda. Tania was depressed. Although she was a little wild then she confessed that she do want her first time to be special and memorable. Not this way. Uncertain and painful. It's humiliating too. She cried so hard because she was thinking were those guys laughing at her when it happened? Did all of them responsible for the ordeal? Is she safe? Were they clean or free from and sexual diseases? All those questions knocked on her head non stop. She was there left to wonder how to move on. We are talking about a fourteen years old girl here. She was still too fragile and naïve at that age.

Few days after the incident, on the way back from school as she walked, her nightmare appeared. It was Stan there approaching her. She felt her face flushed red as her eyes caught his! She was ashamed and humiliated to face that guy in front of her. Her body hurt and her heart squeezing hard like it's going to forced to stop beating. Stan came straight to her asking how is she. Her silence did not stopped him from keep talking. He goes on and on talking about those few days activities. To her own shock, Tania was surprised to feel comfort and calm hearing Stan non stop bubbling! She started to smile and talked back to him. She forgot what she supposed to ask him! What happened that night!! She didn't asked a word instead she accepted to hang up with him again that night.

I am not here to judge or defame her. I am here to tell her story with her permission. Something I believe should be share with all our girls. Mothers everywhere and fathers too, please spend more time with your children. Be their school, their best buddy, their most trusted person, their comfort zone and all that they need. That time Stan was a 22 years old cool guy who was gaining the trust of a 14 years old girl. Being good looking and fashionable in that era does give lots of advantage to him.

So the stories goes on for Tania that she neither scared nor shy away from sexual intercourse anymore from that moment. She was almost addicted to sex and she went adventurous, daring and rough too because she found joy and excitement in it. Being with older guys mean they do take precaution so she admitted as daring as they were, they make sure it will always be safe sex. It is kind of frighten me when I think and imagine all that she mentioned. There are some details a little extreme to be share here. From her facial expression as she talk to me, I do not think that she regretted any of those. She is happy and seems quite proud to tell me that the most she handled was four guys at once. I do not want to think or even imagine it. I felt goose bumps all over my arms when she smiled saying that. Four at once!! Really??

Why I'm sharing Tania story is because I want all of us to view into the life of some people when at some point of life especially younger time, there might be a mistake they did which will later on stuck with them all their life. Some people regretted and try to change to be better but some will live on with it forever. As for Tania, she is not regretting any of it. She confessed that she really found happiness in what she's doing. She have extreme desire for sex and she laughed that she can't remember how many sex partner she had. I'm feeling deeply sorry for someone. He is Tania's husband! Yes she is 37 now, married with kids.. And truly painful to say that she has not stop what she is doing and there is no sign of slowing down yet. I mean her extraordinary desires for sex. She definitely can't stick to one man.

As usual I will tell people, "Follow your heart, do what make you happy. Let people say what they want to say as long as you know you're right. People will never stop talking bad about others because for some, putting others down make them feel better for themselves." But in Tania's situation, I do pray that she will change to be a better person. I'm not saying she's bad but what she is living is not good. She is a beautiful woman however, things she did decreased her value. I still strongly believe why she chose to befriend older people during her teen is because she can't wait to grow up. She thought grown up will make her independent like her friends and no one will tell her what to do. And why she have more male friends, because she missed a father figure. She was missing father's love and she felt loved being with those guys. I wish only for her well being and one day may she found what really makes her happy. I am not sure what she did now gives her pure happiness. It might have stuck as her habit but how does that give her joy.

When You Think of Call it Quit, Think Again...

2013-09-04T08:42:00.001+02:00

Took a walk on one foggy night. The night was chill, blurry and it was so tranquil that you can hear only the tiny bugs making their sounds. The dark of the night seems to soothe the misery deep inside. Light seems really far away, it is dimming slowly. The fog are thick all over! You could see your hard breath pushing steam to the air. The vision is blurred and it felt so much similar to what is inside your head. In your head everything is blurry, unclear and in a big mess too. You goes on wondering what or where has went wrong.. Wishing so much you could find where does all the mess begin and put everything to an end but it is truly impossible. How do you end something when you don't even know where does it begin. At the sharp bark of a dog you're awaken from your faraway thought. This is when all your decades of life come flashing in front of your eyes like projector playing a video presentation. Your sweet childhood, where all the laughter are and silly play make you really happy. Your energetic teenage years when you begin exploring more about this world and your seemingly comfortable early adulthood until now, the boiling point of life. You had a good life but where has thing messed up? You wish someone is there to point it out to you what have you done wrong to deserve what you're living now.

When everything seems so wrong that nothing is right anymore. When you ended up fall so hard after all those humiliating stumbles. When the day only threw the harshest coldness and blazing flames to your face. Each time is worse than the previous ones. You have nowhere or no one to turn to when you needed them the most. When everyone you know has raises their invincible walls against you. When your voice are no longer heard and your presence seems spooky as a nightmare to people who used to be around you. All that you could do is crying silently in a grossly pain because even the tears has dries up from your eyes. I bet what you feel is everything good in this world has gone, leaving you alone behind to crawl till you break. The agony pushing you so hard that the deep darkness is all you're hoping for when your day will finally end and your weaken heart quit beating. The best of your determination has now turn to the worst of desperation. The angel and demon inside of you are trying so hard to convince you to listen to either of them. Each one is giving you the thought to overpower the other. Now is your decision at the most desperate time to decide who you're going to listen to. Your final decision will either make you or break you. If it doesn't kill you, it will definitely making you much stronger.

If you think you're one of those who face the worst out of life, think again. There's always someone facing situation worst than yours somewhere out there. To all the damned, the lost and the forgotten. Here I am pleading you not to lose the spark of hope inside of you. Never try to force the light of life inside of you to end prematurely, there is the most powerful heavenly force up there. When our time come, there is no way we could escape it but when it is not yet the time, we will keep living no matter how is the situation. He is there to judge and decide for us.

When there's worries inside of us, as a typical human being we will start using our immense power of thinking negatively. Our imagination went negative, our thinking and eventually our life went negative too because each second pass, you're drawing the negative energy closer to you instead of pushing it away. I know it's easier say than do but most of those successful people are able to put their desperation into opportunity and they make it excited. You know why, because when you're excited you are drawing positivity near you and you'll look at problem in a different way. Try to take the worries away then you can think properly. Wasting all the time sitting down thinking about your worries isn't going to take you further. It will make things worse because the longer you sit, the longer you delay on things. The longer you delay, the more you're accumulating problem. Come on! You have the whole world waiting for you to explore and make the best out of it. Get up and face it. Without you knowing, you might stand up higher and firmer now than ever before. Be the change that you wish to see in this world.

A True Love Story Lives On...

2013-08-20T13:06:00.000+02:00

It was as merry and noisy as usual here this morning. Everyone is occupied with

something. Some walking by, chatting, laughing, having their breakfast while some

preparing food as ordered and some humble happy guys around too are busy

serving drinks. I sat there alone looking around observing people around me. I'm

glad to see those happy faces but still I'm guessing what is in everyone's mind. I'm

trying to understand people but can never get it all right as we are now living in a

world full of disguise and everyone have to be cameleon at certain time. Just look

at why artificial lemon flavor is use for welcoming drinks while real lemon uses in

fingers bowl. I am not usual with love story but this time it is so happen to be a
love story which I would love to share.

Typical meal time in Asia food court

Tapping on my tab suddenly someone passing by caught my attention. A young

Chinese boy. Fairly enough to say he is around 18 years old. Ok, don't divert your

mind. Yes, he caught my attention but it is not an attraction. He was holding a toddler

seems to be age slightly few months more than 1 year old. The way he treated the

baby boy so lovingly delivered me few thoughts. Could be his nephew, his friend's

son or perhaps his own son but that would be another almost child having child case

because he does look young to be a father. I even thought if he's really the father of

that toddler, does he know what is he doing or how ready he is to be a father at that

young age himself. (NOTE: Just a little sharing about us. Here in Malaysia we are diverse in

many ways. There are many races and religions practice here. The majority races are Malay,

Chinese and Indian. Then there are the Iban, Bidayuh, Orang Ulu, Kadazan, Bajau, Serani,

Baba & Nyonya and many more. Malaysia are consist of Peninsular Malaysia, Sabah and

Sarawak. The people who lives in the Peninsular Malaysia and Borneo part of Malaysia are

quite different too. Do not get it wrong when I said he is a Chinese boy. He is not from China,

he is Chinese Malaysian. We still call ourselves as Chinese, Indian, Malay, Iban and more,

it's not an offense for us.)

He walked towards me slowly. Actually it was towards one food stall which is

right behind me. Heard him ordering quite a lot of take away food. He have this

innocent, humble, nice face and careless grooming type of guy. As his eyes

caught mine, he smiled. Oh! I just smiled back. He stood there carrying a baby

with already 2 boxes of takeaway food from the other stall. In my quest to strike a

conversation with him, I just said to him "Hello, you can sit here if you want.

I'm alone. It's ok. Your baby seems a little tired." I pointed at the seat opposite

mine. He smile and say thanks a lot. He didn't reject my offer. He sat down just

there. I know we only have a short time to talk and by the way I don't know if he

would even want to talk about anything.

Looking at the cheerful baby with clear eyes so I started to ask if it is his son.

Well, yes he said. I can't stop this questioning time. I know he will walk away

if I did eventually annoys him. And I quickly asked how old is he himself.

He does not think twice and answered spontaneously. He said "I'm 19 and

my son is 18 months now." Wow! My calculation went really fast in my

mind. 18 months plus 9 months of pregnancy make it a total of 27 months.

That's equivalent to 2 years and 3 months. Minus his own 19 years of age.

You count it, how old was he when he started to be a father. Because of his

nice face and manner, I told myself I have to hear his story if he's willing to

tell me more. The next question in my head was how young is his wife if he's

just 19! So I have to ask. I just ask if his wife is around. The answer to this

question was the answer that really make me keen to write and share this story

with all of you. Guess what he said? He smiled upon hearing my question,

probably the most sincere smile since we start talking over that table and his eyes

shines. You know why, because it is the year 2013 now. True love stories has

been rare since decades ago! As years goes by and decade changing, our priority

and needs has change too. As much as we deny things why are we crying over

love movies? Why do we wish we could love or feel love like those stories in

books or in the movies.

"No, she is not here now. I met her a while ago at her house, just taking my

boy out as our routine time spending together. She's so beautiful. She is the

one I really love but she is never yet my wife. One day I will be better and

good enough to ask her father for her hand. I hope she don't have to wait

for too long for that day to come, for I want to live longer to love and care

for her than to keep her waiting any longer. Everyday is wasted for us to live

apart.." He paused for few second then he continue.. A little change now from

his sparkling eyes when he talked about the girl he love. "But I have to take

my time for I promise her family that I will never let her suffer. I will come

for her when I can take care of her. I dare not to promise the best for her

but I want to give her comfort, care, love, loyalty and protections." I think

I must have dropped my jaw there. I thought he was just a boy who have to

take responsibilities from his mistake but this is not. This is far beyond that.

They are very sure their baby is from love, not from lust or wild desire.

I know his food is coming now and we are running out of time. I just

realized that I didn't even ask his name. He said he is Kong. I braven up to

asked if I can chat more with him and I would love if his wife can join us the

next time. I know she is not yet his wife officially but to them in their heart,

they has been husband and wife long ago. To my surprise he said yes. He

even pass me his number so that I can call him up. I'm glad he is nice but I

will never know what he think about me in his head or what is his description

about me if he would tell this to someone. Maybe that weird busy body lady

but when he left, he said "Bye.. I will see you soon with my love , Ying"

I told him I can't wait. At least now I have names. The love story of

Kong and Ying. We will never know what might happen tomorrow for we

are still living today, live it and love like there is no tomorrow. There are so

many people out there who missed the chance to say "I love you or I really

care for you" to the one they really love just to find out they are too late

where that person is forever gone and what they shared is now memories.

I will share more of their story soon.

There is nothing as Illuminating as Hope..

2013-08-20T11:53:00.002+02:00

It's not just about you or about me. It's about all the people like us. Look at what life can

teaches us. Despite the good and the bad, the up and the down stream where we are

sometimes force to or willingly crawl through it. What does it bring forth for us? Obstacles

come to damn us but great determination can flew us over it. Chant prayers and gathered

solid faith with sincere hope, you surely can make it. Whatever that don't kill you will only

make you stronger. To all the damn, the lost & the forgotten, never you force to blow your

candle before the time. Keep in mind that it will slowly dimmed itself when the time comes

thus finally burnt off but as long as it's still burning, it just there showing you that the light

of life is still with you to guide you through the harshest freeze or blaze that life season could

throw to your face.

There's a story about four candles that I would like to share here. It's a short story but every

part of it are related to our life in many ways. The story goes like this:

The Four Candles burned slowly.

The ambiance was so soft and gravely silence filling the room that you could clearly hear the candles speak to themselves

The first candle said, "I am Peace, but these days nobody wants to keep me lit."

Then Peace's flame slowly diminished and went out completely.

The second candle said, "I am Faith but these days I am no longer indispensable."

Then Faith's flame slowly diminished and also went out completely

Sadly, the third candle spoke, "I am Love and I too haven't the strength to stay lit any longer
People put me aside and do not understand my importance.

They even forget to love those who are nearest to them."

Then waiting no longer, Love's flame went out completely too.

Suddenly....

A child entered the room and saw the three candles no longer burning.

The child began to cry,

"Why are you not burning? You are supposed to stay lit until the end."

Then the fourth candle spoke gently to the child,

"Don't be afraid for I am Hope and while I still burn, we can re-light the other candles."

Never let the Flame of Hope go out from you.

With Hope in your life, no matter how bad things may be, Peace, Faith and Love may shine

brightly once again..

Dare to be a dreamer but make sure you work to achieve it. Everyone can be a dreamer but

some only dreams and never have the will to reach the dream. Don't let your dreams fade

away without you even try to achieve it. Do not let them diminish. You know best what you

want to be. Take your time to know who you really are, what you really want to be and key

word, your happiness. We always give our best when we are happy with what we are doing.

Some dreams seems to be impossible but the power of will can take you there. Again!!!!

Do not let your Hope gone. Without hope everything is nothing.

Does Pure Happiness Matters to You?

2013-07-09T18:20:00.000+02:00

This is just another way of life that I notice. We are looking into two different group of people. Sometimes I wonder why does the people who have it all can't be thankful for what they have but they always want more while people who have very little, they count their blessings everyday. I guess it's just a basic of human, our self- satisfaction. In a good way, it's great because that is how our life improve daily. We keep thinking of how to make things better and get more out of it. The best example is technology. It is reinvented every single day. If you can afford it, you can buy the best thing you wish for.

But in another view, there is something very important that we have been neglecting more and more. The real life. I have been to many places and into many home. A place we called home is a place where we want to spend most of our time at. They said home is where the love is and if someone ever tell you that they feel home when they look at you, it tells you that you mean everything to him or her. Talking about home, I have been invited for dinners in many type of home. Each home and dinner told me stories. Though some might be similar but it will never be the same.

Let me ask this, how many times you've been into a house that wow you? I mean everything from the main gate to the back door. Every single detail, decorations, piece or arts, colors and everything are from the best money could ever buy. I had seen this many times. Everything are imported even the ash tray. That's cool and so impressive but what about the people who lives inside? Duh! You don't have to think much, you know they are certainly rich, living a good life and they are happy. Wait a minute... Happy? Do you think they are really happy? Think again. If they are really happy, why does the father a.k.a. man of the house spend more of his time at work, away from home? If they are really happy why does every teenagers of the house can't wait to get their driver's license so they can start driving themselves to hang out with friends outside? And why does the lady of the house spending all her time outside for pampering and to look good? What about the little kids if there is any? Having all the games or gadgets and locked up in the room all day? The saddest part is, the real value of family in this kind of home is not important to them. Dinner is not a time they spend together as family time because everyone will have dinner with their friends or co-workers outside perhaps at the best foodie place in town. The house is amazing but it feel cold and no emotion in there. Welcome to reality. You can have it all but pure happiness still come from within.

Now another type of home. The humble home. Yes, I was in there too. There is one home of a friend years ago that I went to. A little house just like a cottage. Though everything is simple and nothing fancy but the house is beautiful. You can feel love and happiness filling every rooms in the house. I even felt like I breathe in the air of happiness into my lungs while I was there. You want to know why did I feel that way? Let me explain this. The father can't wait to be home after work. With the little that he have from the day, he just want to get something for the house. While mom will spend her day talking and pampering her children. She comb their hair, teaches them house chores, wash their hands, tell them stories and there is always laughter now and then. Dinner time for them means time spend together. Nobody in this house would like to escape dinner. Being in a home like this is so overwhelm. They offer you their best. Trust me, with that kind of environment, the warm simple homemade corn bread tasted much better than the cosy red velvet cupcakes that we have today. Their veggie are freshly harvest from the backyard. This is where I see true happiness, love, manners, respect, trust, thankful and the value of sharing on the face of each one of the member in that family.

Now we see, some people lives in villa or even mansion. They have everything that we wishes for but they are lack of feelings. The warm feelings that can comfort us. The one that can make us go to bed smiling and wake up feeling thankful to God that he gave us another beautiful day. A home does not count in its' size or what it was built of or decorated with. Without love, it is just another house. A shelter with walls and roof that keeps us from sun and rain. We can have high rise walls that make us feel safe and secure from any harm but pure love is what we need to live on and it gives us the greatest strength.

The message behind this is, the world is missing happy people day by day. They are getting less everyday because we are all chasing what best the world could give us. I am not saying this is bad but best scenario, how would you feel if the officer at the counter that you are dealing with look so moody and angry. Don't you wish that you are dealing with a smiling, jovial and happy officer? Yes, everyone faces bad days once in a while but we all need happiness in our heart. Don't let happiness extinct from this world or it will be a very cold and tense place to live in. Maybe then all our natural instinct will change too. Dear all, find your happiness. Don't ever give up trying to find your happiness. Sometime you may never know that the most simple thing or gesture is what put up smile on your face. LET US ALL BE HAPPY...

Hakani, the real story of Infanticide Survivor....

2013-04-09T07:39:00.000+02:00

The Suruwaha people live in the western Amazon region of Brazil. Over the past 100 years, this tiny group of people has had sporadic contact with the outside world. While some of these encounters have been positive, most of them have been devastating.

Several generations ago, outsiders massacred most of the Suruhawa's witchdoctors. The only one survived left a terrible legacy to his tribe. He said that a people without spiritual guidance had no hope except suicide. As soon as he said this, he ate a poisonous root and died a swift and painful death. From then on, suicide became the Suruhawa's most common method of dealing with anger and pain. Today, it is the leading cause of death within the tribe.

Human Rights violation is unacceptable

Despite such a brutal past... Beauty and strength are two of the most important aspects of Suruwaha life. These values are best demonstrated in the Tribe's Puberty Ceremony, through which young men learn the honor and respect they will receive if they can endure pain and lead their people. Such customs provide hope that one day the Suruhawa will regain the optimism and self-respect that were taken from them so many years ago.

A growing number of indigenous people are rising up to fight this practice but when they seek help from the government, they are told that their children are not protected by Brazilian or international law, and that preserving culture is more important than saving individual lives.

Infanticide is something written in the history of human kind. Infant or baby are killed because of some reason. Majorly because they are unwanted. Back to the olden day in China, most time when baby girls were born, they are to be killed because baby boys are much preferred. Please remember, if there's no girl there won't be boy too.

Now... Let me share the story of Hakani, the survivor of infanticide in the heart of Amazon

Hakani whose name means "smile" in Suruhawa language. She is one of the hundreds of children who are targeted for death each year amongst Brazil's 200 plus indigenous tribes. Physival or mental handicaps, being born a twin or triplet or being born out of wedlock: are all considered valid reason for taking a child's life.

Buried alive because her tribe believed she had no soul, just because she couldn't talk or walk yet, at two years old. Plucked from the grave at the last moment. Shot with an arrow by her own grandfather. Then forced to live as a social outcast for three long years until sickness and negligent brought her once again to the doorway of death..

That was the reason she was to be killed

1995 was the year Hakani been born. She was a little girl full of bright smiles and laughter. Until the age of 2 unfortunately she has not develop the ability to speak or walk and this caused her tribe to put pressure on her parents to kill her. Hakani parents chose to escape the ordeal and killed themselves with poison leaving behind Hakani and her four other siblings.

Since her parents are dead, the responsibility to kill Hakani now fell to her eldest brother. This is all by pressure from their tribe. He took his sister a short distance from the communal hut and buried her alive in a shallow grave. Hakani's muffled cries continued as she lay buried in the makeshift grave.

Many children who were buried alive cries continued for hours until a deep silence descends but for Hakani the deepest silence never come. This we know God wants her alive still. Someone heard her cries, saved her from the shallow grave and placed her into the hands of her grandfather, who then took her into his hammock. As the oldest member of the family, however he knew what the traditional practice demand him to do.

Hakani's grandfather too his bow and arrow and shot Hakani. His arrow missed her heart and pierced her shoulder. Immediately guilt overcome him and he ate the poison root in attempt to take his own life. The deep silence still does not greet Hakani yet that she had survived again this time.

This is Hakani when she was found

From that day on, at only two and a half years of age, Hakani lived as an outcast. For three years she survived on rain water, bark, leaves, insects and occasionally on food scrap one of her brothers smuggled for her. Along with this gross neglect she was physically and emotionally abused. Children burned her legs because she could not walk and they laughed when she cried. When other walked by, they shouted "Why are you still alive?" "You have no soul!" "Why don't you just die?" I guess the best answer to that is God give her a mission in this life.

Over time Hakani lost her bright smile and all other facial expression. Her situation grew increasingly worse and yet for Hakani the deep silence of death did not descend. Eventually her brother, Bibi rescued her. Carried her to the home of a YWAM (Youth With A Mission) missionary couple who had been working for over 20 years with the Suruwaha Indians in the Amazon Basin. This couple is Marcia and Edson Suzuki.

Marcia and Edson Suzuki with Hakani

The missionaries knew Hakani was weak and very ill. At five and a half years old, she was only weighted 15 pounds, that is 7kg and was only 27 inches in length. The couple began to care for her as their own child but it was hard. She responded to nothing, had no facial expressions, no emotion and would scream and cry when touched because she had gone for so long without any physical contact.

Edson and Marcia cared for Hakani in the Amazon Basin but they knew if they did not get medical treatment she would soon die. Fortunately, they received permission to take Hakani out of the jungle in time. Within six months of receiving love, care and medical attention, Hakani had begun to walk, started to talk and her bright smile returned to her face. After a year she was double her size. This year of 2013, Hakani is eighteen years of age with a bright laughing smile she dances and sings. A lover of art too. Her voice today is a voice for life.

Below are the photos of Hakani through the years.

This is cute.. Hakani wanted to send a message to Justin Bieber:

The Displaced People...

2013-04-06T17:16:00.002+02:00

Such a long time since I last posted something here. My apology to all. This time I would share about the Displaced Peoples.. Test your knowledge and see if you can figure out who they are. These are some of the facts of their lives in their own country.

1) This people have been described as “among the world’s least wanted”
2) They are one of the world’s most persecuted minorities.
3) They have been denied their citizenship since a 1982 citizenship law was enacted in their country.
4) They are not allowed to travel without official permission
5) They are banned from owning land
6) They are required to sign a commitment to have not more than two children

Have you gotten it yet? Ok.. Now let me share. The people I am talking about here is the Rohingyas people. They are from the state of Rakhine in the West Coast of Myanmar. Sounds familiar yet? Their miserable lives comes to our attention last year through International medias in 2012 Rakhine State Riots. This makes me wonder, must we see blood first before we could take action or at least care.

Rohingyas are stateless, displaced, unwanted, oppressed people and they have nowhere to call homes. The statistics according to UNHCR draws my attention because it is something related to Malaysia. As of January 2010, there are some 79,284 refugees and asylum-seekers in Malaysia. Of these 73,287 are from Myanmar, comprising some 17,712 Rohingyas from the Northern Rakhine State.

When the country you were born in decides to take your citizenship from you and confines you to your state only, restricts your freedom to travel. When your children are no longer allowed to study, all your books are taken away from you and you are not permitted to publish any writings in your language. When you are forces to pay tax for petrol, rice, clothes, milk and every other thing you buy, eat or use. When you are forced to leave the country of your birth, the country that once called you its own children and you refuse to go. When you say no to the powers and they fall upon you with force. When your women are raped merciless, your brothers executed before your eyes, when your neighbours are burned alive.. Then you know what it's like to be a Rohingyas.

The Rohingya people are Muslims. They practice Sunni Islam with elements of Sufi worship. Since the government restricts educational opportunities for them, many pursue fundamental Islamic studies as their only educational option. Mosques and religious schools are present in most villages. Traditionally, men pray in congregations and women pray at home.

In 2009, a senior Burmese envoy, (the country's Consul General) Ye Myint Aung wrote to heads of foreign missions in Hong Kong and local newspapers insisting the Muslim tribe should not be described as being from Myanmar branded the Rohingya "ugly as ogres" and a people that are alien to Myanmar. "In reality, Rohingya are neither Myanmar people nor Myanmar's ethnic group," he also said. By the way who give him the right to describe people as ugly. Below is the photo of Ye Myint Aung. You judge.. Is he too good looking that he called others as ugly.

Ye Myint Aung

The 2012 Rakhine State riots are a series of ongoing conflicts between Rohingya Muslims and ethnic Rakhine in northern Rakhine State, Myanmar. The riots came after weeks of sectarian disputes and have been condemned by most people on both sides of the conflict. The immediate cause of the riots is unclear, with many commentators citing the killing of ten Burmese Muslims by ethnic Rakhine after the rape and murder of a Rakhine woman as the main cause. Whole villages have been "decimated".Over three hundred houses and a number of public buildings have been razed.

According to Tun Khin, the President of the Burmese Rohingya Organisation UK (BROUK), as of 28 June 650 Rohingyas have been killed, 1200 are missing, and more than 80,000 have been displaced. While according to the Myanmar authorities, the violence, between ethnic Rakhine Buddhists and Rohingya Muslims, left 78 people dead, 87 injured, and thousands of homes destroyed. It also displaced more than 52,000 people. Who knows which is the truth?

When you are forced to flee your own country because it is no longer safe for you and your kin, there waiting for night to comes, set your improper equipped small boats and sail to sea, saying prayers to God that you will live. When you finally arrived at another men's country without proper identification documents with no even a buck to your name. When they arrest you and you stand before a Magistrate at court, as he asked for your passport and you have nothing to say because you don't even understand a single word he say.. You are GUILTY is just the decent ending. Stripped off clothes, arms and legs spread, hands and feet then tied and whipped with cane that your soul feel the pain. When you are thrown to detention center, deported from the country, sold to traffickers who extort you. When they use their fists to knock out the teeth off your mouth, cut and bruise your flesh until you find a way to pay the money the demand of you... Then you know how it's like to be a refugee.

The Slum where Rohingyas live in

Rohingyas Refugee Camps in Bangladesh

Refugee Camps

Aung San Suu Kyi with the Muslim Rohingyas

Maybe there is nothing much we can do about this situation but sharing this story of Rohingyas people will let more people to aware of their existence and suffering in this world.

Thanks to:

Disappointed by Hope, Migrants and Refugees in Search of a Better Life

Excerpt some from Wikipedia and UNHCR

It is that Season of the year again.... Merry Christmas

2012-12-24T05:51:00.000+01:00

On this day, 24th Dec 2012... A day before Christmas, it's that time again when everybody at home making all the noise of joy and happiness. The laughters, warm hugs, teasing each other, sharing of sweet secrets with your closest sibling or whoever that is close to you. There will be a lot of surprise faces with big round eyes. Also lots of funny grins and teasing each other joyfully. December as we all know it, is a month of holiday and almost the best season of the year. Though with all our joy and happiness, don't forget that there are lonely souls somewhere out there who needed some of our reasons to be happy. Sometimes, it is neither the nice gifts nor the elaborate Christmas decoration or even the grand feast that can heal the loneliness within... It's the presence of someone so dear to our heart that we're missing. Nice warm hug, smile and caring pats can turns all sorrows into smiles. There is something missing in me too right now. A deep feeling of loneliness.

Why do we love Christmas? When I was a little kid, maybe about four years old I remember asking my parents why there is no snow falls during Christmas outside our home because all the movies on TV showed snow falls during Christmas in their place. Remember "Home Alone"? I don't know where those places are then but it seems so far away. You can see how naive I was back then asking why the people on TV, in our Christmas books and magazines have different hair colors. Here everyone hairs are mainly black and of course white or grey that they called it that piled on Grandpa's crown. As far as I remember, that was my first lesson about the season called Winter and I am curious since that day, the few days before Christmas 1987. I told myself I will stand under a snowy sky one day to feel snow fall on my skin. Then of course along the way I learned about Summer, Spring and Autumn too.

Then the other tradition is to open presents on Christmas morning. That was obviously full of tension because we fought for presents then. There were pushing, pulling, laughing and the loudest cried during the fight for presents. Being children, we are strong enough to always fight for the biggest present. The biggest always mean the best because we were yet to understand that best thing can come in the smallest package. Our parents have their own way of doing things, they don't put name on the presents. We noticed the size of the packages are different so the things wrapped inside won't be the same at all. I guess they need to see their children behaviors. Who's greedy, naughty or nice? What am I? I won't tell that.

Now, who is Santa Claus? He's a legendary character also known as Saint Nicholas, Father Christmas and simply "Santa", also Sinterklaas as a figure with legendary, mythical, historical and folkloric origins who, in many Western Cultures, is said to bring gifts to the homes of the good children during the late evening and the over night of Christmas on the 24 December. According to the tradition which can be traced back to 1820s, Santa lives in the North Pole, he have flying reindeers that pulls his sleigh and magical elves who help him making toys in his workshop. Santa Claus is generally depicted as a portly, joyous, white-bearded man sometimes with spectacles—wearing a red coat with white collar and cuffs, white-cuffed red trousers, black leather belts and boots. This image became popular in the United States and Canada in the 19th century due to the significant influence of Clement Clarke Moore's 1823 poem "A Visit From St. Nicholas" and of caricaturist and political cartoonist Thomas Nast. This image has been maintained and reinforced through song, radio, television, children books and films. Everybody loves Santa though when I was a kid I said all our Santa in Malaysia is not real as Santa should be Caucasian. Sorry about that.

Christmas (In old English as Crīstesmæsse, meaning "Christ's Mass"is an annual commemoration of the birth of Jesus Christ and a widely observed holiday, celebrated generally on December 25 by millions of people around the world. A feast central to the Christian liturgical year, it closes the Advent season and initiates the twelve days of Christmastide.

Let me end this post with a Merry Christmas wishes to everyone in this world. May all of you have a great celebrations and great time with your love ones. Although some of you who might not be able to celebrate it the joyful way, say a little prayer to God and the birthday boy, our Christ the Saviour.. He will ease your pain and He know what you're going through.

This is a little tribute to the family of the shooting victims in Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut, USA. May their souls rest in peace. Please click on this link:

http://www.ctvnews.ca/world/one-week-later-the-bells-toll-for-newtown-s-shooting-victims-1.1087962

They need our prayers to keep them strong.

Be Happy, Everyone Deserve to be Happy...

2012-12-15T06:25:00.001+01:00

Have you pass a day when you got so angry at someone in any possible way? It can be something that we can just smile and laugh at but instead it turn to be an anger. Maybe as little as someone crossing the road while you were driving and you who rush to nowhere was actually annoyed by this person that walked awfully slow in front of you. Means what? A minute of your time equals to thousand bucks? What about his time or her time? Doesn’t cost anything at all? Or their hobbies are purely wasting time? I don’t know about that but I have seen a lot of these unpleasant scenes. Some even wine down and yelled!! Ooopss! Adding it with some nasty face, hand or fingers actions and bad words. What is it for is unclear, whether just for self-satisfaction in putting someone else down or just frustration or maybe it seems like a joke to mock on other people. If we encode that simple scenario, for me I guess it will come to few reasons. Have our lives change to a fast lane only without the needs of courtesy because it’s too fast that courtesy slowing us down by a few minutes…

Do you want to look like this?

Some people are up there above us by their birth right, some people making it themselves through hard works and sweats and some people trying to be there because they wanted to. For whatever reason, it is important to know what is our life priority.

When you don’t see tears on a person eyes, it doesn’t mean that they are not hurting. We, human beings are the best in disguising our feelings. Asked yourself, have you been laughing hysterically when you are angry? Have you been smiling all day when you are sad? And have you been annoyed when you’re really excited? Yes, I did sometimes. I am no saint but I think our life will be better if we try to be more honest to ourselves. If we are unhappy, try hard to find the core of the problem. When you did eventually found the cause, try your best to make a change if you can. I mean really try to do something about it not by saying I have tried but it doesn’t work out well. I can’t deny there are things which happened that we can never change anymore. The last time I checked there is no existing time machine for us to go back and change our past mistakes. Do also know that we are human; we are susceptible to make and live with mistakes here and there but never take that as a good excuse for ill manners or behavioural disorder. I believe when we are happy, our life will be blooming beautifully. If you really think you need helps, reach out for it.

Everyone has the right to be angry but it is not such a pretty face aint it?

Another scenario is when you’re happy; it doesn’t mean everyone else is happy. You might be jumping head over heels upon hearing the best news you have been long waiting for. Maybe accepted to your dreams University, career promotions or the girl or guy you really have crush for finally say yes for a date with you. Familiarized ourselves with the reality of life and this will helps us achieve a greater life. When you’re sharing your joy with someone else and this person doesn’t seems to care much or seems not paying enough attention; don’t quickly judge them. Perhaps asked if something or someone is bothering them. Remember at some point, sharing is really caring. It is also undeniable to me that some people are as hard as a rock when comes to sharing their problem. In our society today, it seems hard to find a real person that we can find trust and comfort in. Sharing our disappointment and problem with some wrong ears will cause more turmoil than we could ever imagine. With social media and gossip lovers everywhere, two ears that listened to your problems can spread it to hundreds of ears and eyes within a short few days. Come on people, can we be more kind towards other. Just simply put yourself in their shoes, that’s all.

We are all educated at schools and probably everyone watched National Geographic at some points. We know the truth about food chain in the wild woods or deep oceans. Those are the nature as its existence since thousands or millions years ago, the strong lives on and the weak oppressed. Little that we know, we almost all turn that way. Everyone in every direction is searching and finding way to reach the top so that we can feel the power to press some other people lower. I say it again that life improvement is forever good news, that’s how the world keep seeing new and great inventions that make our life easier but the unknown processes during the making of history can take a toll at making some people lives miserable. Just keep this in mind, nothing last forever on this earth. What comes to live will eventually go back to the Mighty creator. That is our life chain. So while we are living on this earth, count it a blessing that we can still open our eyes and breathe airs to our lungs. Another day of life let us make it another meaningful day to count. Start counting your good deeds; it is never too late to start. Everyday will be a good day if you can just donate a smile to people. It is definitely not too heavy to moves your lips. The little nice gestures we make towards someone can be the best thing they have for the day. Let’s be kind and make this life better.

She's the Boy I Used to Know...

2012-12-06T02:26:00.001+01:00

I catch a glimpse of her as she’s coming from afar. Her typical walk, swaying her hips to the left to the right so softly and rhythmically. With a big bag hanging on her left shoulder, her right hand was busy swiping her yellowish hair away from her face. Oh! What a breeze out there. I paused for a moment as to find the right definition of her at that point, should I call it elegant or quite a little messy. I waived at her with smile hoping she will see me through this big clear wall of glass. With a broad smile she winked and waived back at me. Now she hurried her steps as she knew she was obviously late for our meeting that afternoon.

Pushed the glass door open, she walked straight to me. With a little sorry in her eyes, she said “Sorry Cass, I am running a little late.” I smiled though deep in my heart, I am not so fond, thirty minutes doesn’t really count as a little late, mind you! However, I pardon her as I like her and I need her throughout this meeting. . “It’s alright Judy, just a little late; take a sit now will you?” Then she sat down so obediently while taking her deep breath and I let her to fully settle down for a little while.

“Now Judy, anything for you? Drinks or snacks? We don’t have much choice here aren’t we?“ It was half past three in the afternoon and we were in a cosy little cafe. I chose the rendezvous place because I craved for the perfect smell of latte as my day has started since 5am that blessed day. She went through the menu selections silently. As she stood in front of the ordering counter, she tapped her left pointer on her chin thinking what she would like to have. She didn’t stand straight too, in a little awkward position to me as she bent here and there. Maybe because I always stand straight, guess everyone is different. Her right leg bent backward about forty five degree from the knee, only the tip of her toes touched the floor. I can really sense that the guy at the counter looked way irritated by Judy, as if he would pursue her away in a matter of minutes.

Gosh! What did I do? Would like to apologize to Judy as I can’t help it; my eyes and mind drawn naturally to observe her way, so many interesting facts surrounding her and her life. There she came, done with her order. Smiled in relieved that we were about to start our friendly interviewed. I was the unofficial interviewer.

Now let me share a little about Judy with all of you. Didn’t mean to offend anyone with this stories and I am doing this with Judy’s permission. I hope to be able to give a little understanding about the life of people like Judy. They are just like any of us but the choice they made, make it all different. I happened to bump into her again about three years ago after all those long years and I braved up to ask if she was the same person I used to know. A little shocked to know she was. She was quite polite though she really puzzled as who I am. I mentioned about the street I used to see her walked by, the year and even description of our parents’ former house. She knew the details but really she doesn’t know me. I would fully understood her because that ‘little chit’ then was just a bit too observance. Never mind that…

To begin, I have known of Judy at my early years. Precisely when I was just nine while then Judy would have easily been a ripe seventeen years old. Didn’t know much about but used to see Judy walked by the street quite often. As I well remember the name stated on the school uniform then was JUDE. This, as I was taught about gender by my parents, teachers at school and basically everybody that I know; I confidently identified Jude as a boy. Basically his appearance, his hair style, his build, his clothing and all, he is a boy! I knew that for certain.

And here we are now, let me introduce Judy. She’s the boy I used to know as Jude.

“Here comes your chocolate milk shake Miss J…” The waiter announced. I heard the annoyance in his voice as he pronounced Miss J but slap that off. We weren’t there to annoy anyone. Then he turned to me with his smile, probably the best smile of the day and said “Miss Gorgeous, is there anything else that I can get for you?” I gazed at him and answered friendly “Perhaps two glass of water for both me and Miss J….. will be fine thank you.” Sure! He replied. I purposely pronounced Miss J with a long sound of J….. as he did it. Judy tap lightly on my hand.. “It’s okay Cass, don’t mind them. I’m used to that.”

“Gosh! Judy, how could you let it happened just like that? It’s painful enough for me just to see it. Can’t imagine how you feel about all these ill treatments here and there” I said to her, then she replied “Simple, just ignore them. I’m numb so does all my types. Listening to or feeling those insults doesn’t do me any good.” She laughed lightly.

Here we can see the discrimination and the ill acceptance of the transvestite individuals or ‘pondan’ (as they are call locally) by the public. Though they are almost everywhere, they are not really well treated all the time. They are few details Judy would like to share with us. Some might not really be a pleasure reading but I just want us to understand how is their lives live daily been mocked at times, yelled with some cruel names and under privilege. I feel glad that she would accept my request about this simple discussion. Like most of us know, they don’t simply mix or befriended anyone. They are most comfortable being among themselves, trusting each other and moving around together. They can rather be cold and unfriendly too.

Warming up the conversation, I asked her when did she first started to feel that she don’t like the gender she was born as. She stopped for a while, obviously remembering the history. Then she said as early as ten years old. I asked how and why? She smiled saying don’t know but she fancied women clothing, including women’s under wears. She always wishes to wear them and imagine having the pretty humps on her chest to be able to put on brassieres. From the clothing, she added interest on women’s accessories, hairstyles and even make up. Basically, everything about women. Surrounding by all this fantasy, he completely forgot that he is a boy. In Judy’s case, she was born a straight perfect boy without impair on genital like some unfortunate cases of transgender or incomplete forming of genital. Thus it can be quite hard for me to believe that it can be possible just like that.

She saw me paused and she broke the silence, mentioned media too have a big influence on her transformation process. She was obsessed and still is with those nearly nude women bodies in music videos, magazines and even advertisement that make her to feel that being a female, she will be adore.

At thirteen, Jude start acted strange that his family started to put more attention. Instead of playing with other boys his peers outside, he chose to stay in house feared the afternoon sun would darken his skin. He picked on different interest as to do domestic chores, cooking and groomed himself well to look more feminine. His father got so mad that he scolded him over and over again because he is humiliating them.

Still lived in his parents’ home forced him to obey their rules. He did not even give up on his interest. Respecting them he did it quietly. As time goes on it became more extreme that he found his ‘type’ of friends outside. Some are much older that they taught him all the lessons that made him who he is today. Few months before he turn eighteen, he eventually moved out of his parents’ home with the excuse of needing a place nearer to his working place. He lived with all his friends. He has finally declared himself as a female. Free to do whatever he want and wears whatever she likes. Until today, she confessed she had never regretted her decision to be a female.

Living on her own with friends at the age of eighteen means she has to live within her own mean. With her kinky appearance that she is neither a male nor female, it is very hard for her to be able to land on a proper decent job. She spent years working at local open eateries as a dish washer. Low paid means it is hard for her to have saving or even buying pretty things. As she sighed, one of her housemates suggested her to do extra ‘job’ at night which will certainly helped her earning extra income. Little did she know; this means flesh trade! The older housemate assured her that she doesn’t have to do it if she didn’t like it but she can try whenever she is ready. She did it thinking about the extra income which will do her well.

That is the beginning of her world of sex trade or better known as prostitution. In the beginning, it was really awkward for her but after just few occurrences; she related it as very easy. She laughed when she said that but she can never deny that I saw a fiery regret through her eyes. She does not have to elaborate this as it is our common senses that nobody will be proud to admit that they are prostitute. Walking down the streets with appealing outfits, calling out for any cars pass by. That can never be a decent sight.

Trying to hold her tears, she admitted that the most heart breaking part was when some pervert or ill-mannered guys just drove closer pretending to seek for services but instead spitted on them, sometimes threw things on them especially rotten things, yelled with words like “You smelly dirty thing!!”, laughed at them for fun or even just molested them without care. I held my own tears from falling, wondering if I can still go on but I focused on her. Somehow at the bottom of my heart, I think individuals like Judy must have known what the circumstances of what they’re into are. The insults are just part of it because as prostitute, she had already lost all the pride and respect of a decent human being. This is when I realized that even people who are involved in sex trade are still considered being raped. Why was that? Because at times they are drove away by the so-called customers far away, forced sex with violence without being paid and ditched there when they are done and have to find their own way home in pain. Cruel! That’s the only word playing in my head. Enough with this already!

As I spent time sitting quite closely to Judy, I noticed that whatever she did, she can never change to be fully female. Her hands and legs are man’s own. The apple of her throat is bulging heavily. Perspire quite heavily compared to a typical woman and the rougher skin on her face with a strong facial bone. I almost jumped from the sofa when realizing the question just slipped out of my mouth!! “Judy, you shave don’t you?” Saw some obvious razor cuts on her chin. Oh no! Hoping so much she doesn’t get offended but she don’t. She said “Yes dear, almost every other day.” Phew…

Try to cut short on this conversation, I wrapping up with Judy on few other things. She confirmed that she is not doing the sex trade anymore. She had been doing it for long twelve year. She also confessed that fortunate that she know how to handle money quite carefully that she have little saving which gave her the chances to enrol into sewing, baking and make up courses. Now she is earning her income genuinely taking order for festival cakes, making clothes and occasional make-up artist. Thanks to Judy for allowing me to share this with you.

It took me a while after that conversation with her that I even dreamt few times until I finally get over it. She has a dear friend who was splashed with fish guts while walked to a signalling car thought it was a customer who waived at her. She recalled the laughter that came along with the splashing was so mean. She was pushed to fall in her stilettoes few times causing her to twist her ankle and suffered. She had been ripped off her clothes and her wigs pulled away by men too so I understood she must have had enough of those and wanted a change for a better life. Imagine a double life of dishwasher during the day and a prostitute at night over the years. Does she ever have enough sleep during those years?

What we really wants to wear....

2012-09-01T15:33:00.000+02:00

Before I even get started, I’m so sorry guys for not updating the blog for quite a while. Keeping up with me has been a little tough lately. More and more work to do but I know I can cope up with it. Now… Let’s check out the fashion street talk this time.

Once upon a time…

Though I’m a little too young to really know much about fashion then, I never completely ignore it too. From what been reporting on TV, showcases in malls, newspapers and magazines cover displays, quietly I did observe and admired. Imagine seeing some crop top (especially T-shirts) with few folds on the sleeves and acid wash Jeans!!! As a child then, how naïve I was! I took that as what cool kids must have and do. Can’t really blamed me too, it was everywhere on TV shows and those who were wearing it show lots and lots of confident but somehow, I don’t remember I ever have any acid wash jeans. Mom won’t buy those.

Acid Wash Jeans 80's trend

Cropped T-Shirt with folded sleeves

What I’m talking about right now is the fashion era of 80’ and 90’s, when there was a sense that you could ensemble anything on the runway and by infusing it with the glamour of fashion and the runway, people would definitely buy it. I always remembered seeing some ridiculous pieces on the magazine fashion spreads while waited for my Mom to get her hair done and started wondering “Who is going to buy or even wear that?” Then soon enough, sure we’d saw from the news reporting on someone especially celebrities caught wearing those funny pieces and walk down the streets.

Cropped top with acid wash jeans short. Remember wearing or saw anyone wearing this ensemble?

However, to my real sense, I think that era is well and truly gone by now and clothing lines ‘mastermind’ do have to be mindful of what real people want to wear and it is not the kind of “I’m dying for attention” show pieces. I am not disrespectful about Lady Gaga on her Gaga Signature style but would you wear a dress made of fresh meat to your company award gala night? Or would you take a risk wearing those sky high heel-less platform shoes? I don’t know about you but I don’t think I ever will. Lady Gaga definitely need those to boost up her career, get her fans keep talking and following on her iconic style. What about us? The real everyday people. We certainly don’t face the day waiting for paparazzi or tabloids reporters to snap a shot or wrote a piece about what we wear or what we do. We also don’t sit down and start checking our Twitter or Facebook account by counting on followers and numbers of viewers to our videos or photos.

When designers went too creative.... These are some of the creations

We have to face the day at work doing what we do best. Whether teaching children at school, transacting cash at bank, cashiering at supermarket, consulting clients, convincing customers at stores; whatever we do all of us have the responsibilities to look professional at work. We don’t want to wear any ridicule outfits and look like the lost souls who were total fashion victims.

For me, what I really want in clothes are those wearable, well-made and won’t falling apart pieces, far from creating accidental peek-a-boo scene at any wrong time or wrong spot. Still there is another priority for me. It is the level of comfort while wearing them. I don’t want to look fine but unable to sit properly because that tiny cute dress might rip apart. Toot... Toot… It has to bear decent price tags too. Not everyone can dig into their purse and pay for thousands of dollars just for that hot designers figure hugging mini dress. Even if we could, where are we going with it and how many times can we wear that? So everyone, let’s be wise. Check out more often, I’ll reveal the secret of dress your shape, not your weight.

Just for your views but these are some of the 80's fashion trends that may be we should really waive good bye to:-

Auhentic Legs Warmers

Parachute Pant

Stir Up Stretch Pants

Oversize Shoulder Pads

Her Courage Open the Eyes of the World..

2012-07-16T13:05:00.000+02:00

If I refresh my memory to remarkable incident that happened in the year 2002, I would definitely connect it with the case of a 30 years old Pakistani woman, named Mukhtaran Mai. I can’t imagine anything close to what happened to her but her courage to pursue, voice it out and stand her feet is what I look up to. It had been a decade ago but the extraordinary courage of this woman will live on forever.

Mukhtaran Mai, now only known as Mukhtar Mai

Mukhtaran Mai is from the village of Meerwala in Muzaffargarh District of Pakistan. She was gang raped by 14 men in a stable as ‘honour revenge’ by the order of a tribal council from another clan which is richer than her clan. Can you believe that!! How is the life of typical women in this country? Can they even say their mind? Do they even have the chance to dream on? What the f**k is an ‘honour revenge’ in the first place! The clan that punished her is the Mastoi clan.

What happened to her wasn’t even resulted from what she did. It was because of her 12 years old adolescence brother Shakoor who was judged to offend a clan’s honour because he was having an illicit sex with a woman name Salma from the Mastoi clan. Bizarre isn’t it? Punished with a severe punishment because of what you don’t even know about. For more information, Shakoor had been abducted and sodomized by three men of the Mastoi clan (which one of them is the elder brother of Salma) in a sugarcane field. Isn’t that harsh enough!!

After some negotiation between the clans, the Tatla (Mukhtaran’s clan) and the Mastoi, they initially agreed on marrying Shakoor to Salma and also marry Mukhtaran to one of the Mastoi men and if indeed Shakoor was found guilty, Mukhtaran family will give some land to Salma’s family. However, there are defendants who disagreed as they behold on the principle of an eye-for-an eye which mean an illicit sex must be settle with an illicit sex too.

The Mastoi men came to Mukhtaran family and said if she would come personally to apologize from Salma’s family and the Mastoi akath they will accept the proposed settlement. Then she went there with her father and a maternal uncle to apologize personally, the Mastoi stated that the dispute is now settled and Mukhtaran’s family been forgiven but before she even know it, the whole ordeal begun!

Abdul Khaliq, the elder brother of Salma (who also allegedly sodomized Shakoor) came and armed with a pistol forcibly took Mukhtaran into a stable. That’s where she was gang raped by fourteen men. After about an hour inside, she was then pushed outside wearing only a torn shirt. By making her an example for not defying the local authorities, they paraded her naked in front of hundreds of onlookers on the order of Jirga (the assembly of clan elders). This is not human act.

The custom would expect her to commit suicide after a rape but instead of committing suicide, she pursued the case and seeking for fair judgement for what happened to her. Her bravery to stand up for herself picked up domestic and international media’s coverage. Her story had been headlines of news that even BBC picked up on her story. Although the safety of herself, her families and friends has been endangered, she remains strong as an outspoken advocate for women’s right. She knew she got to do something to voice out what and how is the life of real women in her country. She is now known as Mukhtar Mai.

She then started the Mukhtar Mai Women’s Welfare Organization (MMWWO) to help support and educate Pakistani women and girls. In 2005, the Glamour Magazine named her Women of the Year and in April 2007, she won the North-South Prize from the Council of Europe. Movies were made about her and her autobiography reached no. 3 bestseller in France. Her courage should be cherishes. Without her bravely told her story, not much we will know about the misery of women there.

Sing, the Diamond Jubilee Special Song...

2012-07-12T12:05:00.001+02:00

Don’t you think that Gary Barlow is quite a genius? Yeah, that cute guy from the group Take That. He has always been the lead singer of Take That and he majorly wrote the group’s song. He’s generally recognized as the musical talent behind Take That. From the group to his solo career, this guy sing, songwriting, producing, publishing and even acting. He’s also the lead judge for X Factor replacing Simon Cowell. I want to share his latest work with everyone here. It’s a song titled “Sing”.

Gary is so great that Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II had asked him to organize her 86^th birthday and her Diamond Jubilee celebration. (That’s a 60 years of Her Majesty's reign). A source said: "Her Majesty has been made well aware of Gary’s charity work and the events he has put together. She knows that Gary has got the power to pull in the big names across the music industry and to ensure it's a party to match the occasion". This was confirmed on February 2012 with Gary Barlow being named as the lead organiser and producer of a concert that took place outside of Buckingham Palace and featuring globally recognised superstar artists.

It was announced in January 2012 that Gary Barlow and Lord Andrew Lloyd Webber would be working together to write the official Diamond Jubilee single. Barlow and Lloyd Webber aimed to write the music to the song; with Barlow then taking this music to musicians and singers around The Commonwealth with the aim to incorporate sounds from around the world onto the single. The song simply entitled "Sing" was released as the lead single from the album of the same name, Sing.

Sing, the special song to celebrate the Queen's diamond jubilee is collaboration between Gary Barlow and Lord Lloyd Webber, and he wants performers from around the Commonwealth to be part of it. Prince Charles gives Gary some suggestions, and Gary then embarks on an extraordinary trip. He recorded all manner of musicians on their home turfs to make this unique record. This song featuring Gary Malone and his Military Wives Choir in the UK, a children's choir in Kenya, Rastafarian drummers in Jamaica, the Sydney Symphony Orchestra in Australia, pan-pipers in a remote rainforest village on the Solomon Islands, and Gary also manages to get Prince Harry to make his own musical contribution.

Now, let us enjoy Sing by Gary Barlow and all who’s involved. It’s a soothing songs. Really is a great one!!

Do you Need a Makeover yet?

2012-07-02T12:30:00.003+02:00

The crime in marriages is not just bound to lies, infidelity, abuse and irresponsible spouse. Do you realize that some couples tend to look alike as time goes on? They dress up almost similar; they walk and talk in the same way and so on. Don’t get furious but take a look at your parents? What do you see?

As the marriage age, most people found too much comfort in each other and start neglecting their basic charm. They stop trying on any new style and just let it be. This might worsen day after day. Looks play a major part in our life. At a point, some people might start to think about their spouse. Husband will ask themselves “Is this the same woman I married to years ago? What happen to that sweet gorgeous lady?” In the other side, wives often face this problem everywhere in the world, she thinks “I was the one who gave birth to the kids but why is he having that permanent 9 months of pregnancies!”

A situation like this can be awkward if it is left too long. Why is that? Because when something has been your daily routine or habit for years, it takes time to break it and that can never be easy. Ladies, just imagine yourself at size 8 before marriage and maybe 8 years later, you barely fit into size 18!! How do you feel? We understand gaining some weight after those years of comfort and child birth is usual but let everything still be under your control. Take care of yourself by motivation and try a little harder.

Guys! We know you’re busy operating and providing for the family but DON’T take that as excuse that you’re too busy to spend just 30 minutes a day work out to get yourself fit and stay in an acceptable shape. Try it for the person you love dearly.

Do not let this “negligence” crime comes your way in your marriage. We all love to see the before and after of any kind of makeover don’t we? These photos adapted from Carson Kressley Couple’s Makeover. Enjoy…

Couple 1: Becky & Darren

This is Becky & Darren before the makeover. Isn't he reminds you of someone? Super Mario???

This is the new Becky & Darrren

Couple 2: John & Kate

John & Kate before the makeover

John & Kate after the makeover

Couple 3: Linda & Clark

Linda & Clark before the makeover. They admitted that Clark has an addiction to kilts.

Linda & Clark after the makeover

Couple 4: Ty & Mia

Ty & Mia before the makeover

Ty & Mia after the makeover

Couple 5: Nina & Randy

Nina & Randy looks before the makeover

Nina & Randy new look after the makeover

I think it is not that hard to surprise each other sometimes. Most of the time, minor changes do make a big difference. Admit it, we'll get bored of the same look everyday. Try something out.

Courtesy of Carson Kressley style advice & Oprah.com

Duhozanye: The Village of Widows...

2012-07-02T05:21:00.002+02:00

The pandemonium aftermath of genocide is something only fathomable by those unfortunate enough to experience it. Not only are people and homes left in ruins, but also governments, economies, and basic infrastructure. The task of rebuilding and reforming communities can appear to be a near unachievable goal. This goal becomes even more difficult to attain when the genocide has resulted in 800 000 deaths, and a major portion of the male population. These are the circumstances that the women of Rwanda found themselves situated in after the 1994 Rwandan genocide.

After the death of significant male population, the women of Rwanda were left to pick up the pieces of their war-ravaged nation. This was a country that did not allow women to own land or to be sole guardians even to their own children. Even after having faced so much devastation already, a group of Rwandan woman managed to muster the strength to mobilize and begin to reconstruct their community by supporting and hold on firm to one another.

Here, the stories of Daphrose Mukarutamu, a Tutsi women who lost her husband and all but two of her 11 children. In the aftershock of the genocide, Daphrose thought she was the only one left, but when she turned to her neighbours, she then found out they had also been equally affected. She considered suicide but instead, she took in 20 orphans and started Duhozanye, an association of Tutsi and Hutu widows who were married to Tutsi men. Duhozanye means “to console one another”… The Duhozanye Association was founded in November 1994 by a group of widows in the district of Gisagara, located in the ex-prefecture of Butare.

On the left is Daphrose Mukarutamu

Duhozanye’s formation and growth - from a support group of neighbours who share their traumatic experiences, rebuild their homes, and collect and bury their dead, to an expanding member-driven network that advances the empowerment of Rwandan women. The association members helps women victims of rape and HIV/AIDS, running small businesses and classes in gender violence prevention, and taking part in national reconciliation through open-air people’s courts where they can face, and often forgive, the killers of their loved ones.

In the beginning, these widows started with meeting at a specific time every week to share their common grief and mourn their loved ones. When it was time for the group to meet none would miss the opportunity of being with others. For these women who had lost everything dear to them, it was simply a relieving experience to meet and cry together. After the genocide, there were many widows who were looking for emotional support especially those who had been raped and infected with HIV/AIDS.

After a short while, these widows started thinking about what they could do for themselves to rebuild their lives. Then, the Association, which started with the objective of providing emotional support, expanded its activities to address socio-economic needs of its members. Fourteen years after the genocide, the strides made by Duhozanye in the political and social-economic empowerment of Rwandan women are enormous. With strong resilience, these women were able to overcome the unthinkable and to make a difference in their lives and for their country.

Since their beginnings, the women of Duhozanye have continued to be a strong force in their community emotionally, economically, and physically. They have set up gynecology clinics for the women who have been raped and helped the UN distribute aid for HIV/AIDS victims. They continue to support each other in many ways and have been recognized by various humanitarian organizations for their efforts. Similar groups have also begun to sprout in war-torn African countries such as Benin and the People’s Democratic Republic of the Congo.

The War Rape Victims of Rwanda

2012-07-01T11:50:00.002+02:00

Do you know that during the Rwandan Genocide, it is estimated that 250,000 to 500,000 women and girls had been raped, mostly the Tutsis. Remember this happened during the brutal period of genocide which was going on about 100 days. The fact of half a million women been raped in such a short period is truly eerie and shocking! This wasn't just a one time raped. Some women open up said they were raped five to six times a day!

In a 1996 report on Rwanda, the UN Special Rapporteur Rene Degni-Segui stated, "Rape was the rule and its absence the exception. He stressed, "Rape was systematic and was used as a weapon" by the perpetrators of the massacres. This conclusion was based on the number and nature of the victims as well as from the forms of rape. A report in year 2000 prepared by the Organization of African Unity’s International Panel of Eminent Personalities concluded that "we can be certain that almost all females who survived the genocide were direct victims of rape or other sexual violence, or were profoundly affected by it".

In 1998, the International Criminal Tribunal for Rwanda made the landmark decisions that war rape in Rwanda was an element of the crime of genocide. The Trial Chamber held that "sexual assault" formed an integral part of the process of destroying the Tutsi ethnic group and that the rape was systematic and had been perpetrated against Tutsi women only, manifesting the specific intent required for those acts to constitute genocide. Although no written orders to rape were found, evidence suggests that military leaders encouraged or ordered their men to rape Tutsi as well as condoning the acts taking place, and made no efforts to stop them. Compared to other conflicts, the sexual violence in Rwanda stands out in three ways:

· The organized nature of the propaganda that contributed to fuelling sexual violence against Tutsi women;

· The public nature of the rapes; and

· The level of brutality toward the women

During the genocide, it was culturally acceptable or mandatory to stand by while women were raped. According to Maria Louise Niyobuhungiro, she recalls seeing local people, other generals and Hutu men watching her get raped about 5 times per day. Even when she was kept under watch of a woman, she would give no sympathy or help and furthermore, forced her to farm land in between rapes. Reportedly, 70% of all sexual assault victims in the Rwandan genocide are infected with HIV.

How do you think these women, the rape victims survive and face the children they bore from the brutality? And how do you think the children feel when they found out how they were conceived. This is led to the birth of Duhozanye Association.

The Rwandan Genocide

2012-07-01T08:23:00.001+02:00

It is Sunday today and I refer it to a Holy day. The day when most of us chill out and relax. This time, let see how much we know about the term “Genocide”. It is a very specific term, referring to violent crimes committed against groups with the intent to destroy the existence of the group or ethnic.

This term existed in 1944, when a Polish-Jewish lawyer named Raphael Lemkin sought the way to describe Nazi policies of systematic murder, including the destruction of the European Jews. He formed the word "genocide" by combining geno-, from the Greek word for race or tribe, with -cide, from the Latin word for killing. In proposing this new term, Lemkin had in mind "a coordinated plan of different actions aiming at the destruction of essential foundations of the life of national groups, with the aim of conquering the groups themselves."

The genocide that I want to share here is the one happened in Rwanda, back in 1994. Maybe that time I was a little young and might not aware of what happened in that part of the world. I’m sure I neither read newspaper nor watch news on TV that time. Rwanda is a country in East Africa. The whole thing started after the assassination of Rwanda President Juvénal Habyarimana where the airplane carrying him together with Burundi President, Cyprien Ntaryamira was shot down when it was preparing to land in Kigali, Rwanda on the evening of 6^th April, 1994. This assassination was the catalyst of the genocide.

I’m not interested into the whole ordeal of the genocide because it is too cruel and inhumane for me to accept but I will share some history of it so we get the idea of the official term of Rwandan Genocide. What I’m really interested to share with all of you is the aftermath stories. How does the women, the war or rape victims cope up with their life. Until today, the trauma of the genocide which happened almost two decades ago in Rwanda still exists.

According to Wikipedia:-

The Rwandan Genocide was the 1994 mass murder of an estimated 800,000 people in the small East African nation of Rwanda. Over the course of approximately 100 days (from the assassination of Juvénal Habyarimana and Cyprien Ntaryamira on April 6) through mid-July, over 500,000 people were killed, according to a Human Rights Watch estimate.

[1] Estimates of the death toll have ranged between 500,000 and 1,000,000,

[2] or as much as 20% of the country's total population.

It was the culmination of longstanding ethnic competition and tensions between the minority Tutsi, who had controlled power for centuries, and the majority Hutu peoples, who had come to power in the rebellion of 1959–1962 and overthrown the Tutsi monarchy.

In 1990, the Rwandan Patriotic Front (RPF), a rebel group composed mostly of Tutsi refugees, invaded northern Rwanda from Uganda in an attempt to defeat the Hutu-led government. They began the Rwandan Civil War, fought between the Hutu regimes. This exacerbated ethnic tensions in the country. In response, many Hutu gravitated toward the Hutu Power ideology, with the prompting of state-controlled and independent Rwandan media.

Now, can you imagine what is the state of a country whereby within the period of just 100 days, there were 800,000 people killed. Simply put it as a war between two ethnics, the Hutu and Tutsi. There is a movie in 2004 (on the 10^th years anniversary) titled Hotel Rwanda, starring Don Cheadle. This is a true-life story of Paul Rusesabagina, a hotel manager who housed over a thousand Tutsi refugees during their struggle against the Hutu militia in Rwanda. It is a good watch. Read my next post on the survival stories of Rwanda women.

House is Never a Home Without a Mother....

2012-06-30T06:33:00.002+02:00

They say “a house is never a home without a mother”. I really agree with this but I would like to add something in it, without ‘a real mother’. Isn’t that true? Heard it before but I overlooked it until today when someone shared it somewhere. In our cutting edge, digital and modern society now, anything is possible in a house. I’m not overthrown the fact that fathers can do marvellous job in fulfilling the duties as a parent but there will always be something missing somewhere in the heart of children who grown up without the love and care from that special someone, a mother.

Ask a full time mother and she will tell you what it’s like to be a real mother. I’ve asked one and this is how she described it:

“I might be naïve and outcast from the digital and career world out there but nevertheless I’m on 24 hours stand-by duty every single day of my life for the past 17 years without fail. If you ever underestimate the true duties of a mother, you must have not been there yet. May be I’m just a mother to many of you but I operate as the chef of the house, the referee to stop the children fight, the educator to teach them manners and homeworks, the driver to drive them around, the butler to keep the house in perfect order, the nurse to nurse them if there’s minor injuries, and so much more. Sometimes I can even be a pharmacist because I know exactly which medication the children needs. Let me also tell you this, I don’t have any leave to apply from and sometimes I feel like I can only have a break when I eventually breakdown.”

Read the phrase Monica mentioned above, what do you feel? Have you been under estimating your mother or wife duties? Without a mother, a home will never be as warm and inviting. Fathers are great individuals too but they hardly act as gentle and soft as mothers. I know this because I experienced it but I don’t blame it on my dad. I realized most dads are out there working everyday trying their best to provide more for the home. When they’re back from work in the end of the day, all they need is peace and tranquil! However, a home with children, I don’t really know how we can shut them sometimes. Oh! There’s no offence here, I just said it from my mind, if only there’s a multi-purpose remote control which can be used to mute them for just 10 minutes when you needed to, that will help.

Another thing that I know is, when you’re hurts, you can talk to your father and he will console you but if you go to mommy, she will hold you tight and shed her tears with you. Parents can never let anyone to hurts you but believe it or not a mother can go to a great length of extend to protect their children. So cherish your mom and don't even think that it is their responsibilities and take it for granted. Some mothers may choose to leave but most mothers choose to stay and hold on eventhough they know for sure it can never be easy. Big applauds to all the real mothers out there, without you the house can never turn to home. Also remember that charity always start from home. Moms, we all know that you plays a big role in shaping the future of the world.