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<?xml-stylesheet type="text/xsl" media="screen" href="/~d/styles/atom10full.xsl"?><?xml-stylesheet type="text/css" media="screen" href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~d/styles/itemcontent.css"?><feed xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom" xmlns:openSearch="http://a9.com/-/spec/opensearch/1.1/" xmlns:georss="http://www.georss.org/georss" xmlns:gd="http://schemas.google.com/g/2005" xmlns:thr="http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0" xmlns:feedburner="http://rssnamespace.org/feedburner/ext/1.0" gd:etag="W/&quot;CU4MQHs4cCp7ImA9WhVQFU4.&quot;"><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7027509511939745306</id><updated>2012-04-04T18:06:21.538+08:00</updated><category term="PASWI" /><category term="Regional Development Council" /><category term="gospel" /><category term="Good Samaritan" /><category term="EDSA Revolution" /><category term="grace" /><category term="thanksgiving" /><category term="conversion" /><category term="baptist pastors" /><category term="witch hunting" /><category term="the meaning of life" /><category term="conservative" /><category term="truth" /><category term="psychological warfare" /><category term="exploitation" /><category term="pain and suffering" /><category term="breakthroughs" /><category term="living" /><category term="CBMA" /><category term="prayer" /><category term="sharing" /><category term="extension work for pastors" /><category term="peace" /><category term="best teacher" /><category term="birthday gift" /><category term="sickness" /><category term="seminar" /><category term="justice" /><category term="reunion" /><category term="experience" /><category term="people's struggle" /><category term="ambivalence" /><category term="faith" /><category term="journey" /><category term="theology of liberation" /><category term="prayer requests" /><category term="NASWEI" /><category term="CPBC Pastors" /><category term="political detainees" /><category term="socio pastoral ministries" /><category term="spiritual ambivalence" /><category term="MSPM" /><category term="religion" /><category term="LIFE" /><category term="network" /><category term="multi-ministry" /><category term="thanking God even without getting what you want" /><category term="bogged down" /><category term="solidarity" /><category term="first love" /><title>faith journey: crawling up a higher ground</title><subtitle type="html">sharing life and faith experiences</subtitle><link rel="http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#feed" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://life-faithjourney.blogspot.com/feeds/posts/default" /><link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://life-faithjourney.blogspot.com/" /><author><name>edwin lariza</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/12686430093065515909</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel="http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail" width="28" height="32" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-8_4a7gf8QLk/TYHsaK1ms6I/AAAAAAAAAA4/KfgB-TmmvLo/s220/edwin.jpg" /></author><generator version="7.00" uri="http://www.blogger.com">Blogger</generator><openSearch:totalResults>9</openSearch:totalResults><openSearch:startIndex>1</openSearch:startIndex><openSearch:itemsPerPage>25</openSearch:itemsPerPage><atom10:link xmlns:atom10="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom" rel="self" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/SharingFaithJourney" /><feedburner:info uri="sharingfaithjourney" /><atom10:link xmlns:atom10="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom" rel="hub" href="http://pubsubhubbub.appspot.com/" /><link rel="license" type="text/html" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/" /><feedburner:emailServiceId>SharingFaithJourney</feedburner:emailServiceId><feedburner:feedburnerHostname>http://feedburner.google.com</feedburner:feedburnerHostname><entry gd:etag="W/&quot;C0ENSH49fip7ImA9WhRUGEw.&quot;"><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7027509511939745306.post-110443595949718350</id><published>2011-09-07T14:22:00.002+08:00</published><updated>2012-01-29T12:34:59.066+08:00</updated><app:edited xmlns:app="http://www.w3.org/2007/app">2012-01-29T12:34:59.066+08:00</app:edited><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="first love" /><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="extension work for pastors" /><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="socio pastoral ministries" /><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="network" /><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="Regional Development Council" /><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="PASWI" /><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="breakthroughs" /><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="solidarity" /><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="NASWEI" /><title>Spiritual ambivalence  (Part III)</title><content type="html">Dear God,&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
With your abiding presence, I gradually overcome the ambivalence. Having recovered from isolation and &amp;nbsp;subsequently return back to the mainstream of normal life, I make it a point to be cautious in my involvement. I &amp;nbsp;even deprive myself of any involvement &amp;nbsp;that may &amp;nbsp;associate me with the past controversies. To compensate my unquenchable commitment in service, I become active in our social work professional organizations and &amp;nbsp;volunteer groups which later I lead.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
You have blessed my endeavors with success as I start &amp;nbsp;to regain my confidence in leading organizations from local to regional and even reaching the national level as board of the &amp;nbsp;Philippine Association of Social Workers, Inc ( PASWI) &amp;nbsp;and National Association for Social Work Education, Inc. (NASWEI). I can &amp;nbsp;still recall &amp;nbsp;the experience of &amp;nbsp;going &amp;nbsp;to &amp;nbsp;Manila for a regular monthly board &amp;nbsp;meeting taking the first flight early morning and catching the last flight back home in order not to miss the night with my wife and growing kids. &amp;nbsp;I learn to balance my involvement with family life. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
You know how glad I am when &amp;nbsp;elected to head the network of welfare and development &amp;nbsp;non-government organizations &amp;nbsp;representing &amp;nbsp;our social work association. It gives me opportunity to link with former friends and partners who are now engage in development endeavors. &amp;nbsp;Again, I have maximize my &amp;nbsp;commitment for service, as it were, &amp;nbsp;while enjoying &amp;nbsp;the new –found &amp;nbsp;partnership with &amp;nbsp;the government &amp;nbsp;which &amp;nbsp;we look at with enmity &amp;nbsp;before . You have blessed this new engagement with &lt;a href="http://padayon-lifejourney.blogspot.com/2011/02/paradigm-shift-brings-to-me-back-to-my.html"&gt;breakthroughs&lt;/a&gt;. &amp;nbsp;You &amp;nbsp;have even broadened my perspective &amp;nbsp;when &amp;nbsp;I get involve in the Provincial Development Council, as well as the Regional &amp;nbsp;Development Council. &amp;nbsp;I learn much from such experience as I widen my network &amp;nbsp;which later become useful when I return to my &amp;nbsp;first love.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Yes, &amp;nbsp;my &lt;a href="http://padayon-lifejourney.blogspot.com/2011/02/return-to-my-first-love.html"&gt;first love &lt;/a&gt;- the pastoral ministry which unkind circumstances &amp;nbsp;take away from me. Amidst success in my work, &amp;nbsp;something bothers me. There is a guilt feeling of having contributed to the development of the outside world while neglecting &amp;nbsp;our community of faith. Returning to my first love is not that easy. &amp;nbsp; I can no longer recover the lost time and opportunities in working with churches. Hence, the decision to focus on pastors, guided by the belief that whatever developments in their lives will trickle down to the churches. However, my noble intention fails to erase &amp;nbsp;questions and reservation from some ministers. I fail to get the confidence of majority in my first attempt, despite &amp;nbsp;my clear and convincing direction of leadership. &amp;nbsp;Some &amp;nbsp;honestly &amp;nbsp;express their suspicion of &amp;nbsp;my past political leanings.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
The experience never &amp;nbsp; dampen my spirit. &amp;nbsp;I continue my commitment to serve in some ways. &amp;nbsp;Taking cognizance of my sincerity, I get their overwhelming confidence &amp;nbsp;when in an unprecedented event, nobody dares to challenge my second attempt to leadership &amp;nbsp;and serve the association for two consecutive terms. &amp;nbsp;Having been deprived of the opportunity to serve by circumstances, I give my best. The best years I have ever given to a particular cause in my lifetime. Years that witness the commitment and dedication surpassing my other endeavors, paid or likewise voluntary in nature.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
It pleases &amp;nbsp;you to &amp;nbsp;bless &amp;nbsp;our efforts with &amp;nbsp;unprecedented breakthroughs &amp;nbsp;in the organizational life and in projects and programs that galvanize &amp;nbsp;our solidarity. I focus &amp;nbsp;on improving the association. However, during my second term, &amp;nbsp;the harsh realties in the politics of our larger body confront me . The young ministers who possess &amp;nbsp;the idealism once we share in our youth challenge &amp;nbsp;my deep-seated principled stance on some issues. &amp;nbsp;Alarmed by the extent of mistrust on our leaders &amp;nbsp;due to their experiences, I find &amp;nbsp;myself on their side just as I always take principled stance in the past. Yet, my position as national leader of the pastors' association &amp;nbsp; constrains &amp;nbsp;my &amp;nbsp;full participation to their struggle. Yet, the &amp;nbsp;challenge never ceases until I &amp;nbsp;join the &amp;nbsp;politics of our larger body as independent candidate.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
God, you know very well, what transpires in &amp;nbsp;the dirtiest and expensive election that ever happened in our denomination. But you let me win to bring the pastor cause in the attention of the policy making body. The experience in election and the political dynamics while &amp;nbsp;sitting in the board have reawakens my sense of justice. With the built-in trust of our association, I &amp;nbsp;advocate &amp;nbsp;the pastors' cause taking &amp;nbsp;principled stance on issues affecting the organization and Convention. This does not sit well with the ruling group. Having neutralized &amp;nbsp;leaders and personalities, and coopted &amp;nbsp;some oppositions, they have an upper hand in the leadership, policy &amp;nbsp;and decision making. They tend to lead by the tyranny of numbers quelling any attempt to block their way. Hence, I become their easy target. More so, when we frustrate &amp;nbsp;their devious scheme in many instances. Unable to cow me in various &amp;nbsp;attempts, they start &amp;nbsp;looking for weakest link in my personal life and even in family &amp;nbsp;to hit me in launching their &amp;nbsp;systematic attacks.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
The stressful situation has &amp;nbsp;compounded the pressures in me. Apart from my employment and &amp;nbsp;responsibilities in voluntary organizations including our pastors association, I &amp;nbsp;open extension centers in various provinces &amp;nbsp;for pastor’s continuing education leading to masteral degree in socio pastoral ministries. There, I hold classes together with some volunteer &amp;nbsp;during week-ends and holidays. Eventually, my body gives in to &amp;nbsp;pressures. &amp;nbsp;I &amp;nbsp;become seriously ill but you snatch me from death, dear God. &amp;nbsp;Thereafter, the renewal of spiritual ambivalence &amp;nbsp;in diverse form and varying &amp;nbsp;degrees.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7027509511939745306-110443595949718350?l=life-faithjourney.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/SharingFaithJourney/~4/Snl6kT-equ4" height="1" width="1"/&gt;</content><link rel="related" href="http://life-faithjourney.blogspot.com/" title="Spiritual ambivalence  (Part III)" /><link rel="replies" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://life-faithjourney.blogspot.com/feeds/110443595949718350/comments/default" title="Post Comments" /><link rel="replies" type="text/html" href="http://life-faithjourney.blogspot.com/2011/09/spiritual-ambivalence-part-iii.html#comment-form" title="0 Comments" /><link rel="edit" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://www.blogger.com/feeds/7027509511939745306/posts/default/110443595949718350?v=2" /><link rel="self" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://www.blogger.com/feeds/7027509511939745306/posts/default/110443595949718350?v=2" /><link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/SharingFaithJourney/~3/Snl6kT-equ4/spiritual-ambivalence-part-iii.html" title="Spiritual ambivalence  (Part III)" /><author><name>edwin lariza</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/12686430093065515909</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel="http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail" width="28" height="32" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-8_4a7gf8QLk/TYHsaK1ms6I/AAAAAAAAAA4/KfgB-TmmvLo/s220/edwin.jpg" /></author><thr:total>0</thr:total><feedburner:origLink>http://life-faithjourney.blogspot.com/2011/09/spiritual-ambivalence-part-iii.html</feedburner:origLink></entry><entry gd:etag="W/&quot;AkUEQHo5eip7ImA9WhdXFEk.&quot;"><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7027509511939745306.post-4207943133263778462</id><published>2011-08-26T17:19:00.001+08:00</published><updated>2011-08-27T20:30:01.422+08:00</updated><app:edited xmlns:app="http://www.w3.org/2007/app">2011-08-27T20:30:01.422+08:00</app:edited><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="psychological warfare" /><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="witch hunting" /><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="EDSA Revolution" /><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="people's struggle" /><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="prayer requests" /><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="spiritual ambivalence" /><title>Spiritual ambivalence  (Part II)</title><content type="html">Dear God,&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
You know very well that my Christian conviction led me to the mainstream of the people’s struggle. &amp;nbsp;I joined the ranks of those who dared to go against the tide. &amp;nbsp;Most of &amp;nbsp;those who responded came from different persuasions, belief and ideologies. Many were non religious, radicals, activists, and even communists whom our &amp;nbsp;Christian circle avoided. &amp;nbsp;Against the dominant &amp;nbsp;conservative and seemingly apolitical stance of my religious denomination at that time, I &amp;nbsp;joined the ecumenical &amp;nbsp;group in solidarity &amp;nbsp;with the struggling masses. &lt;br /&gt;
You have seen how the ambivalence continued .&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
While most in the community of faith turned to prayer, if not apathy, &amp;nbsp;to guard themselves from the perceived influence of non religious &amp;nbsp;ideologues dominating the scene,I have situated &amp;nbsp;myself in the opposite &amp;nbsp;side. This might have alarmed &amp;nbsp;some brothers and sisters in faith. At one point, I was informed by a confidante, my name was included among the list of &amp;nbsp;prayer requests during their &amp;nbsp;morning devotional . The group was about to do their regular morning prayers to you when somebody saw me coming home from an overnight seminar. A member hurriedly requested for the inclusion of &amp;nbsp;my name in the prayer list because, according to her, she was so concerned that &amp;nbsp;I have already joined the underground movement. Of course, you know that after their prayer session some became &amp;nbsp;suspicious, if not fearful, &amp;nbsp;of me for having joined the infidels whose victory would eliminate the freedom of religion as foretold &amp;nbsp;by some Christians in other countries.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Indeed, you have been amused on how &amp;nbsp;we use small group prayer, sharing and meditation &amp;nbsp;a sort of gossiping session. How we tend to intrude personal &amp;nbsp;lives in the name of prayer concerns. How we deal &amp;nbsp;with issues of justice, righteousness, forgiveness and reconciliation within &amp;nbsp; our religious denomination and the outside world. &amp;nbsp;I had &amp;nbsp;the foretaste of how our leaders dispense justice &amp;nbsp; when we exposed and protested &amp;nbsp;against irregularities in our bible school. The administration retaliated by accusing us &amp;nbsp;of violation of rules and regulations i.e. smoking. While we were both &amp;nbsp;guilty, &amp;nbsp;our &amp;nbsp;lesser offense &amp;nbsp;were meted with &amp;nbsp;suspension. Of course, some members of the school board were honest enough &amp;nbsp;to appreciate our courage &amp;nbsp;to confront the irregularities and bring to their attention. Still, in their desire to &amp;nbsp;save the institution, they had to maintain the status quo until the term of the administrator ended to avoid legal battle. We were just consoled &amp;nbsp;by the thought that, in our youth, we had spared &amp;nbsp;the institution from further trouble and assured of our return after the administrator is gone.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Whether such &amp;nbsp;traumatic experience &amp;nbsp;had a bearing on my &amp;nbsp;pursuit of justice in the society, you know better than I do. &amp;nbsp;But I am certain of your presence and grace in all my struggles including the spiritual ambivalence. There was even a &amp;nbsp;time when &amp;nbsp;in our ambivalence, especially during the intensification of the struggle, &amp;nbsp;we often asked ourselves &amp;nbsp;whether we would &amp;nbsp;witness the dawn of a new day. Many of us had &amp;nbsp;already resolved &amp;nbsp;that we might &amp;nbsp;not experience it. &amp;nbsp;By your grace, &amp;nbsp;I was one of the fortunate ones who &amp;nbsp;witnessed the dawn brought about by &amp;nbsp;the EDSA Revolution.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
But it was &amp;nbsp;a dazed &amp;nbsp;dawn. Because after the euphoria , &amp;nbsp;the political and ideological struggles resumed including the witch hunting activities. Having been identified with the left, those of us who returned to the mainstream became &amp;nbsp;more vulnerable. Suspicion and cooptation from the government, on one hand because of our &amp;nbsp;past record. While, on the other hand, &amp;nbsp;an ambivalent relationship with the other side. &amp;nbsp;We have also to deal with our Christian community who felt aggrieved by our hardheadedness &amp;nbsp;to forsake the tradition. Many of us experienced &amp;nbsp;isolation and the stigma &amp;nbsp;of &amp;nbsp;labeling. &amp;nbsp;Some succumbed &amp;nbsp;to pressures while others were &amp;nbsp;victimized by psychological &amp;nbsp;warfare. &amp;nbsp;Either by will or forced by circumstances &amp;nbsp;they were &amp;nbsp;coopted and suffered isolation, threat &amp;nbsp;or reprisal from former &amp;nbsp;comrades. Worse, &amp;nbsp;when the once solid &amp;nbsp;movement &amp;nbsp;were split resulting from some bloody skirmishes, confusions and complexities. But you were there to help me survive in such ambivalence.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;i&gt;(To be continued)&lt;/i&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7027509511939745306-4207943133263778462?l=life-faithjourney.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/SharingFaithJourney/~4/Gz_-4RWe7gU" height="1" width="1"/&gt;</content><link rel="related" href="http://life-faithjourney.blogspot.com/" title="Spiritual ambivalence  (Part II)" /><link rel="replies" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://life-faithjourney.blogspot.com/feeds/4207943133263778462/comments/default" title="Post Comments" /><link rel="replies" type="text/html" href="http://life-faithjourney.blogspot.com/2011/08/spiritual-ambivalence-part-ii.html#comment-form" title="0 Comments" /><link rel="edit" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://www.blogger.com/feeds/7027509511939745306/posts/default/4207943133263778462?v=2" /><link rel="self" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://www.blogger.com/feeds/7027509511939745306/posts/default/4207943133263778462?v=2" /><link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/SharingFaithJourney/~3/Gz_-4RWe7gU/spiritual-ambivalence-part-ii.html" title="Spiritual ambivalence  (Part II)" /><author><name>edwin lariza</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/12686430093065515909</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel="http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail" width="28" height="32" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-8_4a7gf8QLk/TYHsaK1ms6I/AAAAAAAAAA4/KfgB-TmmvLo/s220/edwin.jpg" /></author><thr:total>0</thr:total><feedburner:origLink>http://life-faithjourney.blogspot.com/2011/08/spiritual-ambivalence-part-ii.html</feedburner:origLink></entry><entry gd:etag="W/&quot;DUEMRng8eCp7ImA9WhdTEE4.&quot;"><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7027509511939745306.post-1016521753339639754</id><published>2011-07-07T19:20:00.001+08:00</published><updated>2011-07-07T19:21:27.670+08:00</updated><app:edited xmlns:app="http://www.w3.org/2007/app">2011-07-07T19:21:27.670+08:00</app:edited><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="multi-ministry" /><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="peace" /><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="Good Samaritan" /><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="conservative" /><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="truth" /><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="religion" /><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="theology of liberation" /><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="conversion" /><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="political detainees" /><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="exploitation" /><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="ambivalence" /><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="justice" /><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="living" /><title>Help… I am almost lost:  A Spiritual Ambivalence?</title><content type="html">&lt;div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"&gt;&lt;a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-pSaNSBO1ukY/ThWWGpfNrsI/AAAAAAAAADY/Zod9EHpSXls/s1600/which+is+which.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"&gt;&lt;img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-pSaNSBO1ukY/ThWWGpfNrsI/AAAAAAAAADY/Zod9EHpSXls/s1600/which+is+which.jpg" /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;Dear God,&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I have this ambivalent feeling. &amp;nbsp;Much as I want to live a stress-free life to enhance healing, the situation calls for participation to continue the change we started. &amp;nbsp;I may &amp;nbsp;again offend &amp;nbsp;other people. I know &amp;nbsp;truth hurts and &amp;nbsp;have no intention to do such harm to anyone. It is not even my desire to always stand for what is true, just, &amp;nbsp;and right for it will surely create tension, friction and even stress. I love peace and serenity. &amp;nbsp;I even avoid stressful task and confine my life within regular work, meditation, &amp;nbsp;and blogging to compensate my physical limitation in service.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Yet, deep within me is the guilt feeling when I continue to remain silent amidst the search for truth. More so, when &amp;nbsp;only a few dare &amp;nbsp;to speak up, which can be easily marginalized, as others have already mastered the art of cover up and pacification. No wonder, &amp;nbsp;the problem has &amp;nbsp;become systemic and complicated, difficult to unwind. For in my desire to follow you, I feel motivated to make a stand for the way, the truth and the life.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I long for &amp;nbsp;the days when I have no keen knowledge on exploitation, oppression, &amp;nbsp;injustices, human rights violation in any system, be it in the government, church, organization and institution. When my life is confined to &amp;nbsp;traditional &amp;nbsp;ministry. &amp;nbsp;When my only concern is to spread the gospel and win souls for Christ. You know very well how I enjoy the life of an evangelist, going &amp;nbsp;up to the mountains, unaware of the risks, just to spread the message of God’s love and salvation and invite sinners to come home and receive redemption. When we do street preaching in season and out of season, &amp;nbsp;people’s reaction do not bother us, be it favorable or otherwise. We commit to you the result, without minding our limitations. I thought that would be my lifetime call. I always feel &amp;nbsp;motivated to preach the gospel. And &amp;nbsp;consider &amp;nbsp;everything, literally everything as fulfillment of your will, even my failures, shortcomings, or sheer &amp;nbsp;negligence in our part.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
But changes come, not necessarily on my desire or quest. I was exposed to another environment where I have to wrestle with my traditional belief. It started with the &amp;nbsp;issue of multi-ministry against mono-ministry. Later, &amp;nbsp; the social gospel, &amp;nbsp;theology of &amp;nbsp;struggle/liberation and related issues. &amp;nbsp;You know very well how I resist any attempt to downgrade &amp;nbsp;my &amp;nbsp;conservative &amp;nbsp;beliefs. How I defend my position against &amp;nbsp;radical and progressive students who appear &amp;nbsp;to &amp;nbsp;undermine traditional practice in the name of change.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Ironically, in my attempt to minister to the political detainees to convert them (and testify later on how the hard core ideologues &amp;nbsp;are transformed into a conservative Christian), I experience the other way around. &amp;nbsp;My conversion &amp;nbsp;takes place, instead, not necessarily to their ideology or cause. But &amp;nbsp;the commitment in service. Their undaunted spirit &amp;nbsp;and dedication to minister &amp;nbsp;to the least of our brothers and sisters in need. They appear to be better &amp;nbsp;Samaritans than we Christians, nay, ministers. Ashamed of myself, for lacking that zeal, &amp;nbsp; I try to make amends.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Worse, the situation during my realization is different &amp;nbsp;from &amp;nbsp;the context of the Good Samaritan. The &amp;nbsp;victims are many, and unlike in the previous case, they &amp;nbsp;are not &amp;nbsp;left on &amp;nbsp;isolated place, needing help. I could have done the acts of &amp;nbsp;the Good Samaritan &amp;nbsp;in similar situation, immediately caring for the victim and exhaust all the means to save him. However, I &amp;nbsp;am a witness to the action: &amp;nbsp;the robbery, the violence, the oppression taking place. Not so many responded, some fear for their own safety as the perpetrators are too powerful and rude.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Most of &amp;nbsp;those who responded come from different persuasions, belief and ideologies. &amp;nbsp;Many are non religious, &amp;nbsp;radicals, activists, and even communists whom we Christians avoid. I can count with my fingers ministers of God from different religions.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Somehow, I feel &amp;nbsp;the shame for failure to respond immediately. At first, &amp;nbsp;I think &amp;nbsp;of waiting for the robbers to leave the victim after looting and follow the Good Samaritan. But I know it would be a long wait. The situation seems to prolong unless many more would help to overpower the perpetrators. I have no other choice but to stand to my Christian principle and conviction and pay the price. Thereafter, I always experience this ambivalence.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
(&lt;i&gt;to be continued&lt;/i&gt;)&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7027509511939745306-1016521753339639754?l=life-faithjourney.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/SharingFaithJourney/~4/xJatH2gm1J0" height="1" width="1"/&gt;</content><link rel="related" href="http://padayon-lifejourney.blogspot.com/" title="Help… I am almost lost:  A Spiritual Ambivalence?" /><link rel="replies" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://life-faithjourney.blogspot.com/feeds/1016521753339639754/comments/default" title="Post Comments" /><link rel="replies" type="text/html" href="http://life-faithjourney.blogspot.com/2011/07/help-i-am-almost-lost-spiritual.html#comment-form" title="0 Comments" /><link rel="edit" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://www.blogger.com/feeds/7027509511939745306/posts/default/1016521753339639754?v=2" /><link rel="self" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://www.blogger.com/feeds/7027509511939745306/posts/default/1016521753339639754?v=2" /><link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/SharingFaithJourney/~3/xJatH2gm1J0/help-i-am-almost-lost-spiritual.html" title="Help… I am almost lost:  A Spiritual Ambivalence?" /><author><name>edwin lariza</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/12686430093065515909</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel="http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail" width="28" height="32" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-8_4a7gf8QLk/TYHsaK1ms6I/AAAAAAAAAA4/KfgB-TmmvLo/s220/edwin.jpg" /></author><media:thumbnail xmlns:media="http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/" url="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-pSaNSBO1ukY/ThWWGpfNrsI/AAAAAAAAADY/Zod9EHpSXls/s72-c/which+is+which.jpg" height="72" width="72" /><thr:total>0</thr:total><feedburner:origLink>http://life-faithjourney.blogspot.com/2011/07/help-i-am-almost-lost-spiritual.html</feedburner:origLink></entry><entry gd:etag="W/&quot;CU8NQXw9eCp7ImA9WhZaGU4.&quot;"><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7027509511939745306.post-796614431736852475</id><published>2011-07-03T17:16:00.002+08:00</published><updated>2011-07-06T14:31:30.260+08:00</updated><app:edited xmlns:app="http://www.w3.org/2007/app">2011-07-06T14:31:30.260+08:00</app:edited><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="MSPM" /><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="pain and suffering" /><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="grace" /><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="sickness" /><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="CBMA" /><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="baptist pastors" /><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="justice" /><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="faith" /><title>Learning lessons on faith, justice and grace</title><content type="html">One of the unforgettable experiences I have happened &amp;nbsp;in General Santos City, the birthplace of the world renowned Filipino boxer- congressman, Manny Pacquiao. &amp;nbsp;It was during my active years while still the national president of the Convention Baptist Ministers Association. &amp;nbsp;We were conducting continuing theological classes for pastors under the Institute for Advanced Theological Studies (IATS). The institute is an outreach arm of the College of Theology, Central Philippine University. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
As one of the resource persons, I took the privilege to promote the newly designed Master of Socio Pastoral Ministries (MSPM) program for pastors. Two subjects in the seminar were assigned to me, namely: Community Organization and Strategies in Church and Community Mobilizations. These are credited to MSPM program, should participants decide to pursue the course.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Awed by the relevance of the community organizing process in their pastoral work, participants actively participated in the discussion. I was presenting the stages in community organization designed by the University of the Philippines, a premier state university in the country when interrupted by a simple looking old minister. He was so excited to share his experiences similar to the theories presented. With hesitation, he asked whether the process they did can be related to the stages discussed. When I gave the affirmation, in disbelief he blurted out: “&lt;i&gt;Kon amo, maalam gali kami, Pastor&lt;/i&gt;?” Implying how wise/intelligent they are to rightly practice the stages even without setting their feet on the prestigious university, nor even having a formal education.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
The more he was surprised when I candidly affirmed the correctness of his thoughts and their practice. Thereafter, I discussed with them the interrelatedness of theory and practice. How theories are developed through observation of experiences. Just as how these theories are put into practice. Even touching the beauty of God’s creation and design, the wisdom in nature, and learning through life’s experience including the commercialization of education. &amp;nbsp;I pointed out their God-given wisdom and natural talents, including common sense, emphasizing not to be overly dependent on theories and academic preparation or the lack of it. I believe that wonderful encounter has boasted their morale, enhanced their confidence, bridged the gap between education and practice, and inspired them to continue their respective ministries. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I recall the aforementioned experience as part of my on-going journey, as I continue to wrestle with my lingering illness vis-à-vis faith and prayer. Losing my seemingly invincible stature, either real or imagined, &amp;nbsp; my health condition has exposed my vulnerability. I have been undergoing hands- on experience on issues of faith, prayer, sufferings, care of God, and all those things which can be easily resolved theoretically/spiritually. &amp;nbsp;Now, in a situation wherein the acid test of faith is required, I have to resolve these issues: &amp;nbsp;Can my faith indeed move mountains? If not, where lies the difference? Within me, or the kind of faith that I have? The care of God is out of question, here. It has become obvious by my own survival. If not for God’s care, I don’t think I would ever survive the test.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
In the process of recollection, I found myself no longer the teacher but a student that has learned a wonderful lesson on theory and practice. I am no longer concerned with the theory to support my practice, of reason and explanation for my action. I just want to relate what I believe, regardless of correctness or soundness. &amp;nbsp;I want to speak out my mind and express my belief. Later, I will just analyze it or leave to the readers that task. Hebrews 11:1 has become real to me. “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.”&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
One &amp;nbsp;night, while having trouble with sleep, I spent the time talking to God. Unlike in past when bothered by such situation, &amp;nbsp;this time I started &amp;nbsp;thanking Him for letting me experience the painful process of recovery. The delay has caused me a lot of trouble &amp;nbsp;and mixture of &amp;nbsp;thoughts and &amp;nbsp;questions on &amp;nbsp;God’s care, and his ambivalent provision. It has also exposed my faith when it &amp;nbsp;felt &amp;nbsp;short of getting what I asked for. On the other hand, the delay has given me &amp;nbsp;lot of lessons. I have experienced &amp;nbsp;significant changes within and without.Wonderful &amp;nbsp;ideas and &amp;nbsp;concepts have been developed. I have valued &amp;nbsp;the importance of health and holistic development of self. Just as I have realized my negligence and abuse of health. Likewise, &amp;nbsp;my &amp;nbsp;view of mission and God’s purpose has dramatically changed, as well as my understanding of church, ministry vis-à-vis the Kingdom of God.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
After &amp;nbsp;the &amp;nbsp;thanksgiving narrative, my thoughts &amp;nbsp;turn into the issue of &amp;nbsp;justice. I realized that the slow and &amp;nbsp;painful process, including the long wait I have experienced &amp;nbsp;are &amp;nbsp;worth &amp;nbsp;the abuses and negligence I have done to my body. &amp;nbsp;Admittedly, I have abused my health, my body, deliberately or in deliberately, consciously or not. Hence, &amp;nbsp;I could not demand &amp;nbsp;for immediate recovery. Guilty, I felt I deserve the pain, &amp;nbsp;the price to pay.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I have resolved &amp;nbsp;to undergo the process and wait for natural recovery, while learn &amp;nbsp;to value health. As I continue to pray for the full recovery &amp;nbsp;sooner or later, &amp;nbsp;the meaning of &amp;nbsp;grace is becoming clearer to me. Should God hear my prayer and grant me the full recovery soon, &amp;nbsp;it would mean grace. &amp;nbsp;God’s grace that shortens the &amp;nbsp;justice demands. I realized, this is no longer a question of my &amp;nbsp;faith, for faith is not an unreasonable demand. It is an expectation of &amp;nbsp;grace beyond justice.&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;nbsp; &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;&lt;span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"&gt;&lt;span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;"&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7027509511939745306-796614431736852475?l=life-faithjourney.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/SharingFaithJourney/~4/r4ITSb5mKgs" height="1" width="1"/&gt;</content><link rel="related" href="http://padayon-lifejourney.blogspot.com/" title="Learning lessons on faith, justice and grace" /><link rel="replies" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://life-faithjourney.blogspot.com/feeds/796614431736852475/comments/default" title="Post Comments" /><link rel="replies" type="text/html" href="http://life-faithjourney.blogspot.com/2011/07/learning-lessons-on-faith-justice-and.html#comment-form" title="0 Comments" /><link rel="edit" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://www.blogger.com/feeds/7027509511939745306/posts/default/796614431736852475?v=2" /><link rel="self" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://www.blogger.com/feeds/7027509511939745306/posts/default/796614431736852475?v=2" /><link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/SharingFaithJourney/~3/r4ITSb5mKgs/learning-lessons-on-faith-justice-and.html" title="Learning lessons on faith, justice and grace" /><author><name>edwin lariza</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/12686430093065515909</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel="http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail" width="28" height="32" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-8_4a7gf8QLk/TYHsaK1ms6I/AAAAAAAAAA4/KfgB-TmmvLo/s220/edwin.jpg" /></author><thr:total>0</thr:total><feedburner:origLink>http://life-faithjourney.blogspot.com/2011/07/learning-lessons-on-faith-justice-and.html</feedburner:origLink></entry><entry gd:etag="W/&quot;CkYESH0yfip7ImA9WhZbGEw.&quot;"><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7027509511939745306.post-8294441690527127095</id><published>2011-06-23T14:21:00.000+08:00</published><updated>2011-06-23T14:21:49.396+08:00</updated><app:edited xmlns:app="http://www.w3.org/2007/app">2011-06-23T14:21:49.396+08:00</app:edited><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="bogged down" /><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="birthday gift" /><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="thanksgiving" /><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="religion" /><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="living" /><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="thanking God even without getting what you want" /><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="faith" /><title>Even without  receiving my birthday gift, I still thank the Lord</title><content type="html">&lt;div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"&gt;&lt;a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-WPIif289DNI/TgLamt3CsXI/AAAAAAAAADA/RghNhTUcsew/s1600/happy_birthday_candles-2010.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"&gt;&lt;img border="0" height="298" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-WPIif289DNI/TgLamt3CsXI/AAAAAAAAADA/RghNhTUcsew/s320/happy_birthday_candles-2010.jpg" width="320" /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;I had been expecting much for my 57th &amp;nbsp;Birthday last month. &amp;nbsp;Having been under medication due to vulnerable health condition for more than a year, I had high hopes of receiving my long requested gift from God - full recovery on my birthday. Such expectation is not without basis. Conditions have been favorable for its realization. There is considerable progress no matter how slow. &amp;nbsp;I have been faithful to medication, except on occasional drained resources. Religiously I watch my diet, daily walking exercise and other health-related activities with few light lapses. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
What more, my inner self was &amp;nbsp;subdued to wait patiently to the Lord. Negative thoughts are controllable, &amp;nbsp;other mental baggage and emotions unloaded, liberally forgiving even the seemingly unforgivable. &amp;nbsp; &amp;nbsp;Like a student trying hard to maintain the passing grades until graduation, I have been expecting to get the reward on my birthday. For me, it is a fair deal. &amp;nbsp;But two weeks before the expected day, the progress was reversed.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
First, my &amp;nbsp;computer bogged down, followed by my own body. Although not necessarily related (but who really knows?), both point to my vulnerability. The laptop which had been my partner through thick and thin for more than three years just turned off. Having no resources for immediate replacement of expensive part, I have to squeeze my schedule with the kids for family computer until my sister-in-law lends me her own for a particular time. &amp;nbsp; &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
But it did not bridge the gap, right away. &amp;nbsp;Having been attached to the previous laptop, adjustment was not easy for me. &amp;nbsp;All blogging drafts and ideas were stored in it. Despite the gradual transfer of necessary files to alternate computer, I cannot take off in blogging and idea generation. &amp;nbsp;I realized the old laptop ceased to be a mere static electronic device. &amp;nbsp;It has become a personal partner which assists me even in generating ideas and plans. It appears to have a mind of its own, hastening the formulation of plans and project completion.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
For more than a year of bout with chronic ailment, aside from the bible, the laptop has been my constant companion especially when bedridden. No matter how they wished to be always at my side during those moments, &amp;nbsp; my wife and kids had to attend to work and studies related activities, respectively. But the bible and the laptop have been constant companions 24/7. Hence, the significant gap with its loss.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
As if to make matters worse, when I was about to adjust with an alternative computer, my body bogged down. With limited time for computer, I found another interest – gardening and yard cleaning. Hence, after 30 minutes of morning walking exercises, I extend some minutes in cultivating a plot with spade and digging canals in preparation for rainy season. The new-found diversion enhances my sweat glands which I feel beneficial for my nerve disorder. However, one day, I might have overstretched my capacity. Subsequently, my blood pressure shot up. Thereafter, it was not stabilized until two weeks of rest.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Feeling bad about the situation, the temptation to shoot endless questions alluding to God or blame oneself &amp;nbsp; dominated my thoughts. Early morning, on my birthday, I was about to start argument with God. However, &amp;nbsp; flashbacks of past memories dominated my thoughts. The pictures of mother’s story concerning the circumstances of my birth played the scene, followed by my father’s image. Then my brothers and our only sister. Soon my wife, kids and significant people that have influenced my life. &amp;nbsp;Until my mind was flooded with beautiful memories of the past events, and people I have worked with in development work, pastoral ministry, my colleagues in social work profession. Even those people I hurt and those who have wronged me, sans the ill feelings.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Overwhelmed by the grace of God for making me survive any storm in life, I almost cried. Subdued, I lost my argument. The only words I uttered is "&lt;i&gt;sorry for my unbelief, for my doubt, for complaining, for failing to fully appreciate what you have done to me. At times, blaming you. I am sorry dear God and thank you for everything. If complete healing pleases &amp;nbsp;you &amp;nbsp; as my birthday gift, you know very well how happy I will be. If not, I know you will give it to me in the fullness of time&lt;/i&gt;."&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
After my prayer, &amp;nbsp;the scenario has changed. &amp;nbsp;I found peace and assurance all things will work out for good in due time, although I don’t know when and how. But the story does not end right away. &amp;nbsp;In the afternoon of my birthday, my wife arrived from Bacolod City bringing with her &amp;nbsp; a new laptop. Her birthday &amp;nbsp;gift for me. I love it. &amp;nbsp;I did not get what I want. &amp;nbsp;Still, I thank God for giving me what I need: &amp;nbsp;my wife’s &amp;nbsp;gift to record and blog the faith journey. &amp;nbsp;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7027509511939745306-8294441690527127095?l=life-faithjourney.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/SharingFaithJourney/~4/UqFuZgzjtjc" height="1" width="1"/&gt;</content><link rel="related" href="http://padayon-lifejourney.blogspot.com/" title="Even without  receiving my birthday gift, I still thank the Lord" /><link rel="replies" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://life-faithjourney.blogspot.com/feeds/8294441690527127095/comments/default" title="Post Comments" /><link rel="replies" type="text/html" href="http://life-faithjourney.blogspot.com/2011/06/even-without-receiving-my-birthday-gift.html#comment-form" title="0 Comments" /><link rel="edit" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://www.blogger.com/feeds/7027509511939745306/posts/default/8294441690527127095?v=2" /><link rel="self" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://www.blogger.com/feeds/7027509511939745306/posts/default/8294441690527127095?v=2" /><link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/SharingFaithJourney/~3/UqFuZgzjtjc/even-without-receiving-my-birthday-gift.html" title="Even without  receiving my birthday gift, I still thank the Lord" /><author><name>edwin lariza</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/12686430093065515909</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel="http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail" width="28" height="32" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-8_4a7gf8QLk/TYHsaK1ms6I/AAAAAAAAAA4/KfgB-TmmvLo/s220/edwin.jpg" /></author><media:thumbnail xmlns:media="http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/" url="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-WPIif289DNI/TgLamt3CsXI/AAAAAAAAADA/RghNhTUcsew/s72-c/happy_birthday_candles-2010.jpg" height="72" width="72" /><thr:total>0</thr:total><feedburner:origLink>http://life-faithjourney.blogspot.com/2011/06/even-without-receiving-my-birthday-gift.html</feedburner:origLink></entry><entry gd:etag="W/&quot;D04NSXY6eSp7ImA9WhZWFUw.&quot;"><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7027509511939745306.post-7199882837022452277</id><published>2011-05-16T11:19:00.000+08:00</published><updated>2011-05-16T11:19:58.811+08:00</updated><app:edited xmlns:app="http://www.w3.org/2007/app">2011-05-16T11:19:58.811+08:00</app:edited><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="seminar" /><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="LIFE" /><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="socio pastoral ministries" /><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="CPBC Pastors" /><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="reunion" /><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="CBMA" /><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="baptist pastors" /><title>Open letter for MSPM students</title><content type="html">&lt;div class="MsoNormal"&gt;&lt;span style="color: black;"&gt;Dear Pastor,&lt;o:p&gt;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="MsoNormal"&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div align="right" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: right;"&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;"&gt;It’s more than a year that we have not met. Not only due to my health condition but also with the change of leadership in the Convention Baptist Ministers Association (CBMA) and Convention of Philippine Baptist Churches (CPBC). Having in the sideline now, I am no longer acquainted with the direction and priorities of both organizations. But this&lt;span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;is just&lt;span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;a temporary set back. With the slow but sure healing process, it won’t be long and, by the grace of God, I will resume my commitment to the full. &lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;"&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;"&gt;The&lt;span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;scene during the most critical moment in my life has already been embedded in my mind. When I was about to make the last breath, my final thought was: Not now, Lord. Because of my family, the CBMA, and there are many evil to fight still. God might have heard my last appeal and searched my heart that&lt;span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;He made me survive. The long and painful process of recovery has become a purging process to me and almost daily I experience healing inside. With this development, I become optimistic to receive the total healing soon.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;"&gt;And with the initial physical healing, I have started to fulfill my commitment to God for my family&lt;span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;in the last months. I feel the time has come for me to move the next level and do the last later. Having learned from experience, I want to move slower this time. Hence, I will focus first&lt;span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;on the Master of Social Pastoral Ministries (MSPM).. Our&lt;span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;priority is to have all those who started the program complete the requirements. While&lt;span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;train those&lt;span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;who have graduated&lt;span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;either to&lt;span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;assist or handle&lt;span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;another batch who signify their&lt;span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;interest to avail of the program. Our target is to expand to other evangelical groups and the lay leaders.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;"&gt;It is in this connection that I would like to invite you to a&lt;span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;reunion meeting and seminar on May 30, 2011, 9:00 am- 3:00 pm at Central Philippine University. I have coordinated with the University Outreach Center this activity.&lt;span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;Dr. Melvin M. Mangana&lt;span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;is very much willing to co sponsor the activity with the Learning Institute for the Fullness of life and Empowerment (LIFE), Inc. We will take charge of the food and lodging when necessary. Your counterpart&lt;span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;is the transportation expenses. &lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="MsoNormal"&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;"&gt;Please confirm attendance not later than May 20. God bless you.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="MsoNormal"&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="MsoNormal"&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div align="right" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: right;"&gt;In the service,&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div align="right" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: right;"&gt;&lt;!--[if gte vml 1]&gt;&lt;v:shapetype
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&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div align="right" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: right;"&gt;EDWIN I. LARIZA &lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="MsoNormal"&gt;&lt;span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"&gt;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7027509511939745306-7199882837022452277?l=life-faithjourney.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/SharingFaithJourney/~4/GNcdf1hEoys" height="1" width="1"/&gt;</content><link rel="replies" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://life-faithjourney.blogspot.com/feeds/7199882837022452277/comments/default" title="Post Comments" /><link rel="replies" type="text/html" href="http://life-faithjourney.blogspot.com/2011/05/open-letter-for-mspm-students.html#comment-form" title="0 Comments" /><link rel="edit" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://www.blogger.com/feeds/7027509511939745306/posts/default/7199882837022452277?v=2" /><link rel="self" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://www.blogger.com/feeds/7027509511939745306/posts/default/7199882837022452277?v=2" /><link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/SharingFaithJourney/~3/GNcdf1hEoys/open-letter-for-mspm-students.html" title="Open letter for MSPM students" /><author><name>edwin lariza</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/12686430093065515909</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel="http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail" width="28" height="32" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-8_4a7gf8QLk/TYHsaK1ms6I/AAAAAAAAAA4/KfgB-TmmvLo/s220/edwin.jpg" /></author><thr:total>0</thr:total><feedburner:origLink>http://life-faithjourney.blogspot.com/2011/05/open-letter-for-mspm-students.html</feedburner:origLink></entry><entry gd:etag="W/&quot;CUIMRng5fyp7ImA9WhZXFks.&quot;"><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7027509511939745306.post-5386288946947547668</id><published>2011-05-06T14:33:00.000+08:00</published><updated>2011-05-06T14:33:07.627+08:00</updated><app:edited xmlns:app="http://www.w3.org/2007/app">2011-05-06T14:33:07.627+08:00</app:edited><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="LIFE" /><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="pain and suffering" /><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="experience" /><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="the meaning of life" /><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="best teacher" /><title>Experience is not the best teacher</title><content type="html">Since time immemorial, experience has been acclaimed as the best teacher. Nobody dares argue. Not until somebody claims, it is the worst. I don't want to join the debate because I already found the best teacher ,i.e. life itself. A timeless, tireless, relentless and irresistible teacher, as well. Giving me lessons, despite my unwillingness to learn.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
The year 2009 will long be forgotten by my family as it marks my 55th year. At the peak of my career, I felt relatively stable and fulfilled in my achievements. The ups and downs of life's experiences have increased my knowledge and honed my skills in living and serving. Unsophisticated, my direction was to receive less and give more. Beaming with confidence I have learned much, my motivation was to teach and share more.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
At that time, I was about to wrap up my successful leadership as national president of the Baptist pastors affiliated with the Convention of Philippine Baptist Churches. Five years earlier, I was awarded as one of the ten outstanding social workers of the Philippines. Nothing more to ask except for longer life to continue my service. And to consolidate my experiences as registered social worker and ordained minister into books/publications . So that I can teach others also.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
All of the sudden, the ecstasy was shattered by a chronic heart ailment, compounded with unusual nerve disorder in the last quarter of the aforementioned year. Three months away from our national assembly to cap my six years of service and leadership. It was a devastating experience for me and my family. The worst we ever encountered so far. Such condition has constrained my active life of service. Adding pain was the realization that we have given all in service without saving for ourselves in times of crisis.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Most of my time is spent at home due to limited mobility, making me vulnerable to discouragement and depression. This condition has been going on &amp;nbsp;for more than a year. A &amp;nbsp;wrestle &amp;nbsp;with the nagging issues of pain and suffering and search for the meaning of all these experiences in life. In solitude, I have discovered the best teacher. This is LIFE itself.&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7027509511939745306-5386288946947547668?l=life-faithjourney.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/SharingFaithJourney/~4/mpDUIV7bJmg" height="1" width="1"/&gt;</content><link rel="related" href="http://developmentnetworking.wordpress.com/" title="Experience is not the best teacher" /><link rel="replies" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://life-faithjourney.blogspot.com/feeds/5386288946947547668/comments/default" title="Post Comments" /><link rel="replies" type="text/html" href="http://life-faithjourney.blogspot.com/2011/05/experience-is-not-best-teacher.html#comment-form" title="0 Comments" /><link rel="edit" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://www.blogger.com/feeds/7027509511939745306/posts/default/5386288946947547668?v=2" /><link rel="self" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://www.blogger.com/feeds/7027509511939745306/posts/default/5386288946947547668?v=2" /><link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/SharingFaithJourney/~3/mpDUIV7bJmg/experience-is-not-best-teacher.html" title="Experience is not the best teacher" /><author><name>edwin lariza</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/12686430093065515909</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel="http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail" width="28" height="32" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-8_4a7gf8QLk/TYHsaK1ms6I/AAAAAAAAAA4/KfgB-TmmvLo/s220/edwin.jpg" /></author><thr:total>0</thr:total><feedburner:origLink>http://life-faithjourney.blogspot.com/2011/05/experience-is-not-best-teacher.html</feedburner:origLink></entry><entry gd:etag="W/&quot;CEcHRH8yeCp7ImA9WhZTGE0.&quot;"><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7027509511939745306.post-6425677707805284111</id><published>2011-03-22T11:53:00.000+08:00</published><updated>2011-03-22T21:53:55.190+08:00</updated><app:edited xmlns:app="http://www.w3.org/2007/app">2011-03-22T21:53:55.190+08:00</app:edited><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="prayer" /><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="gospel" /><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="faith" /><title>Do I have to move mountains to prove  my faith?</title><content type="html">&lt;div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"&gt;&lt;span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 15px;"&gt;My sickness has given me sufficient time to rest, pray, meditate, read the bible, reflect and write. All the wonderful experiences &amp;nbsp;my previous hectic schedule deprived me. Among other things, I have been grateful to God for the subsequent &amp;nbsp;inner renewal taking place in my life. My faith has been strengthened every day.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-size: 11pt;"&gt;During those extreme&amp;nbsp; moments when I was bed ridden, the bible became my constant companion. It continues to be, providing new insights and inspiration, no matter how many times I go over the books, chapters and verses. Literally or symbolically, the scripture has provided me relief, guidance, assurance, &amp;nbsp;and strength. &lt;o:p&gt;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-size: 11pt;"&gt;I&amp;nbsp; cannot count the times I revisit the Gospel. So much so, at times, I find myself on the actual scene of the encounters of Jesus with harsh realities of life. It is not difficult for me to realize his frustration with established, exclusivist religious structure and leadership and the skirmishes that follow. Likewise, the consequent effect of stirring the hornet of &amp;nbsp;exploitative system which takes its toll on his life and ministry. &amp;nbsp;I understand the jubilation of his followers and the tensions created by the triumphant entry leading to his crucifixion. The inevitable price of &amp;nbsp;advocating and standing for&amp;nbsp;&lt;i&gt; the way, the truth and the life&lt;/i&gt;. I can easily identify with his concern for the poor, the deprived, the oppressed. My social work experience and involvement in the people’s struggle during the dark years of dictatorial rule in our country make me sensitive to the situation. &amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"&gt;&lt;span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 15px;"&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-size: 11pt;"&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 15px;"&gt;Literally, I follow his teachings on forgiveness and love even the enemies. Though difficult it may be, I enjoy &amp;nbsp;its soothing effect to my soul. Even his exhortation concerning worries about the cares of the world including the daily needs&amp;nbsp; is feasible. &amp;nbsp;Although the expected provision does not always come on time, still I continue to follow his teachings. Whereas before, skipping daily maintenance due to lack of resources made me panic. Now, I take it as part of my healing process. Of course, at times my heart complains when deprived for weeks of the medicine. But I have to assure it that all things will work together for good and wait for the provision.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-size: 11pt;"&gt;Yes, &amp;nbsp;I can attest that the teachings of Jesus are relevant, feasible and worthwhile. &amp;nbsp;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 15px;"&gt;But I stumbled on some things. Foremost, is his teachings on faith as recorded in &amp;nbsp;&lt;span class="apple-style-span"&gt;&lt;span style="color: black;"&gt;Mark 11:22-24.’&lt;i&gt;'Have faith in God,' Jesus answered. 'I tell you the truth, if anyone says to this mountain, "Go, throw yourself into the sea," and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what he says will happen, it will be done for him. Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours."&lt;/i&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"&gt;&lt;span style="color: black; font-size: 11pt;"&gt;Its realization appears to be elusive. Many times, I try but &amp;nbsp;fail. I &amp;nbsp;cannot &lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style="font-size: 11pt;"&gt;&amp;nbsp;not even move my health condition into another level, no matter how I &amp;nbsp;apply &amp;nbsp;suggestions on the power of faith or power of&amp;nbsp; mind or a combination of both. But always, I find refuge on the belief that the fullness of time will soon come. The delay is part of God’s preparation for ministry. At times, I reflect: &amp;nbsp;Do I have&amp;nbsp; to move mountains to prove my faith? &amp;nbsp;&lt;o:p&gt;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7027509511939745306-6425677707805284111?l=life-faithjourney.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/SharingFaithJourney/~4/stlgNt0ZtjA" height="1" width="1"/&gt;</content><link rel="replies" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://life-faithjourney.blogspot.com/feeds/6425677707805284111/comments/default" title="Post Comments" /><link rel="replies" type="text/html" href="http://life-faithjourney.blogspot.com/2011/03/do-i-have-to-move-mountains-to-prove-my.html#comment-form" title="0 Comments" /><link rel="edit" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://www.blogger.com/feeds/7027509511939745306/posts/default/6425677707805284111?v=2" /><link rel="self" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://www.blogger.com/feeds/7027509511939745306/posts/default/6425677707805284111?v=2" /><link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/SharingFaithJourney/~3/stlgNt0ZtjA/do-i-have-to-move-mountains-to-prove-my.html" title="Do I have to move mountains to prove  my faith?" /><author><name>edwin lariza</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/12686430093065515909</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel="http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail" width="28" height="32" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-8_4a7gf8QLk/TYHsaK1ms6I/AAAAAAAAAA4/KfgB-TmmvLo/s220/edwin.jpg" /></author><thr:total>0</thr:total><feedburner:origLink>http://life-faithjourney.blogspot.com/2011/03/do-i-have-to-move-mountains-to-prove-my.html</feedburner:origLink></entry><entry gd:etag="W/&quot;C0IMRXs7eip7ImA9WhZTE0s.&quot;"><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7027509511939745306.post-3526874058190208132</id><published>2011-03-17T18:28:00.000+08:00</published><updated>2011-03-17T19:33:04.502+08:00</updated><app:edited xmlns:app="http://www.w3.org/2007/app">2011-03-17T19:33:04.502+08:00</app:edited><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="sharing" /><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="journey" /><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="faith" /><title>An invitation to blog</title><content type="html">Hi, I am Edwin Ibanez Lariza, registered social worker and ordained baptist minister.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I am in the process of recovery from &amp;nbsp;lingering illness. &amp;nbsp;I was at the peak of &amp;nbsp;service when &amp;nbsp;attacked by chronic heart ailment, compounded by unusual nerve disorder. &amp;nbsp;Such condition has constrained my active life of service for more than a year now. Most of my time is spent at home due to limited mobility. The delay of complete healing makes me vulnerable to discouragement and depression.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
A pastor- friend advised and taught me &amp;nbsp;blogging &amp;nbsp;to help the healing process. &amp;nbsp;Indeed, it works. In the process of sustaining the &lt;a href="http://padayon-learnfromlife.blogspot.com/"&gt;journal blog&lt;/a&gt; , my interest in writing has been revived. Hence, I &amp;nbsp;opened another blog to ventilate &amp;nbsp;my suppressed commitment to the service of the people towards development. Visit my &lt;a href="http://edwinlarizanetwork.wordpress.com/"&gt;networking for social development.&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Just recently, I &amp;nbsp;am inspired to create &amp;nbsp;a sharing blog. A forum for life and &amp;nbsp;faith experiences of people who have survived the test of times and circumstances. &amp;nbsp;This is a venue for us to learn from one another and share &amp;nbsp;so that others will also find inspiration in their faith journey. Thus, this invitation to blog.&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7027509511939745306-3526874058190208132?l=life-faithjourney.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/SharingFaithJourney/~4/Fg937K--F_Q" height="1" width="1"/&gt;</content><link rel="replies" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://life-faithjourney.blogspot.com/feeds/3526874058190208132/comments/default" title="Post Comments" /><link rel="replies" type="text/html" href="http://life-faithjourney.blogspot.com/2011/03/invitation-to-blog.html#comment-form" title="0 Comments" /><link rel="edit" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://www.blogger.com/feeds/7027509511939745306/posts/default/3526874058190208132?v=2" /><link rel="self" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://www.blogger.com/feeds/7027509511939745306/posts/default/3526874058190208132?v=2" /><link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/SharingFaithJourney/~3/Fg937K--F_Q/invitation-to-blog.html" title="An invitation to blog" /><author><name>edwin lariza</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/12686430093065515909</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel="http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail" width="28" height="32" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-8_4a7gf8QLk/TYHsaK1ms6I/AAAAAAAAAA4/KfgB-TmmvLo/s220/edwin.jpg" /></author><thr:total>0</thr:total><feedburner:origLink>http://life-faithjourney.blogspot.com/2011/03/invitation-to-blog.html</feedburner:origLink></entry></feed>

