Click on the link to listen:

Owning Your Money

A Blues musician I once lived with called it the ‘tude.  And he personified it.  When he walked into a room, without making any effort, conversations shifted and people looked up.  It was all about the energy he exuded.  The ‘tude.

He owned his space.  It didn’t own him.

How you handle your money is no different.

Either you own it.  Or it owns you.

What do I mean by “owning” your money?

It starts with taking responsibility for your financial situation.  And that’s all about the absence of excuses.

Can you have messed up royally?  Absolutely.  But own up to it.  And change it.

Here are some actions that will help you own your money.

1.  Stop hiding.  Women often have psychological issues with money, which come from childhood messaging.  But the beliefs that come from that messaging can be identified and released relatively easily.  Most of them are worn-out myths.  (If you haven’t read it yet, pick up the free report in the upper right hand corner of this page.)

The economic turmoil of 2008 should have shaken everyone up enough to break through any mental blocks.  Although there does seem to be more conversation and questioning about personal finances, too many women actually seem to feel they have even less control over their money than before.

Money is not a topic you can be timid around.  Granted, it takes commitment to break through whatever myths or mistaken beliefs are holding you back, but you do need to do it.

2.  Get comfortable.  Start learning some “money terminology” around things that are most relevant to today’s economy.  Visit sites like The Motley Fool.  Spend time digging around sites with all sorts of calculators, like Bankrate.

Even if at first it bores you to death, pick things to read about that seem somewhat familiar and you’ll suddenly see the pieces of the puzzle start to come together.  Understand inflation and what it does to anything you have in cash or savings.  Read about metals like gold and silver to decide if you’re comfortable putting a bit of your assets into one or the other.  Know enough about the housing market in your region to know what you should do about the home you own (if you do own one).  Know what your options are if you are upside down, that is, if your mortgage balance is greater than your house’s value today.  And know about types of mortgages that you might qualify for, if you could refinance.

In short, be prepared to carry on conversations with people around you:  those you might learn from or whose advice you might seek.  The world economy is not going to get any easier any time soon.  You cannot afford to be a non-player.  You have to be fully engaged in the conversation, or you’ll be left floating … and powerless.

3.  Find an advisor.  It doesn’t have to be a financial advisor, unless you’re ready for one.  But find a mentor who knows more than you do and pick her brain.  Join or form a money club where women can talk openly about money and learn as they go.  The learning you do will go a long way to building your personal confidence around money.

4.  Start saving and investing immediately (no matter how little money you have to start).   Get a savings account set up somewhere, maybe an online one to make it most convenient.  Also set up an IRA or a 401(k), ideally one that is funded regularly from somewhere automatically (whether from your salary or from a personal bank account).

Once it’s budgeted, you’ll be amazed how you can adjust your “needs” to be able to live without the money you’re setting aside.  Then, you’ll be surprised at how fast your savings accumulate when you just add to them and let the interest compound.  (Try some scenarios out on this calculator on the Bankrate site, using just 5 percent annual interest, compounded monthly, and you’ll see what I mean.)

The mere act of saving money has an almost magical empowering ability.  Maybe it comes from knowing you’re doing something for yourself, something to take care of yourself in the future.  Whatever it is, it contributes greatly to the ‘tude!

5.  Strut your stuff.  Once you have come out of hiding, have learned to talk about money, have found someone you can turn to when you need input and have money in the bank … you’ve got ‘tude.  Suddenly people are more willing to do business with you.  Others will invest more in you.  Your boss is willing to pay you more money.  And so on.

You are more self-sufficient.  And independent.

You own your money.

Let me know in the comments below what part of this you find the most challenging.  And let’s see how to get you past it!
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Bio: Sharon O’Day lost everything at age 53: her home, her business, everything. But how could that be? She’s an expert in global finance and marketing with an MBA from the Wharton School. She has worked with governments, corporations, and individuals … yes, she was the secret “weapon,” if you will, behind many individuals in high places. Yet she did! Since then, with her finances completely turned around, Sharon has gone on to interview countless women. She’s done extensive research to understand how that could have happened, especially with her strong knowledge of numbers and finance.

The surprising answers will be shared in her upcoming book “Money After Menopause.” Today her mission is to show as many women as possible how to become financially free for the long term, through her “Over Fifty and Financially Free” coaching programs. She has developed a step-by-step plan to get past all the obstacles that keep women broke and scared … and from reaching the financial peace of mind they so deserve … if they’re willing to do what it takes!

If you’d rather listen than read, click here:

Continuity, the Hidden Key to Financial Security

I went to a party last night.

As I walked in, I immediately sensed a high energy level … yet, behind it, an interesting calm.

This morning it struck me where that calm came from.

A large number of the people there were military friends of the host, a military man himself.

The air was filled with bravado, a masculine strength that comes from testosterone no doubt, but also from a sense of assuredness.

So where does that assuredness come from?

Well, it made me think of an article I had read before going to the party, by Forbes staff writer Jenna Goudreau.  Her article is entitled “Careers Headed For The Dustbin.”  In it she cites the twenty jobs the Bureau of Labor Statistics predicts will disappear in the next several years.

Now add to this mix a conversation I had at the party with a realtor who specializes in Miami waterfront properties.  We talked about what has changed in the industry because of all the internet listings, and then moved on to what is really affecting how a realtor interacts with clients:  all the foreclosures and short sales.  She cited “doing everything right,” focusing on the real needs of clients and providing them critical information on what the new banking and mortgage rules require.  Yet she sounded frustrated.

It dawned on me that her frustration came from the fact that, in the end, she has no control over the outcome of the transaction.  Despite doing every right, nothing she can say or do guarantees that the client will make a decision that benefits her.

Control.  Control over our lives.  That’s what these three threads have in common.

We all hear that some of our military men and women are grossly underpaid for what they do.  And, frankly, I think that’s inexcusable.  And they do face some unknowns, such as where their next posting or deployment might be.  And some face the greatest unknown of all:  will they be killed as a result of the career they have chosen.

But they have the knowledge that they won’t be fired.  They won’t be “let go.”  Whatever it is they get financially, too little or enough, it is reliable.  They can plan around it.  They can count on continuity.  And that leads to the underlying assuredness I felt in that room.

As for the realtor, as someone who lives by the commissions she earns, she is totally at the mercy of decisions made far away … at the level of the national economy.  She has to react to how the market reacts to how well the economy is reacting to decisions made by presidents, congressmen, congresswomen and people in the top echelons of the financial world.  React … react … react.  She has no continuity.

As for all the people whose livelihoods come from the twenty “jobs” listed in Jenna Goudreau’s article, including anything related to agriculture, to unskilled manufacturing or to things made obsolete by technology, they too have no continuity.

As an entrepreneur, I am surrounded by people who have taken their futures into their own hands by starting their own businesses.  But even having made that choice, what’s important is to be keenly aware of how much control they have over their future.  Does their business have momentum and can they count on ongoing income?  Do they have that added competitive advantage that gives them a good idea of how their business will grow?  Do they have a healthy relationship with money that insists on them making solid business choices?  Do they have continuity?

In my own case, I know how different I felt when my businesses were built on debt and were solely dependent on getting the next consulting gig or project.  Every day started with a pit in my stomach.  My expenses were high and my income was erratic.  If you’ve read my story, you know I had to hit the wall financially before I understood that my problem was not whether or not my business model was viable.  Yes, I had to get my expenses under control and change my lifestyle.  But the big discovery came from examining how I dealt with my money.

How do I know that?  Well, because after getting clear on my money issues, I went back to the identical business model and it has led me to financial security.  To assuredness.  To continuity.  To knowing I’ll be okay, no matter what.

So I have a question for you.  How do you wake up in the morning?  Do you wake up cheerfully, looking forward to the day knowing that you’re building your future security?  Or is your cheerfulness a tool you’ve chosen to use to egg yourself on … although you know in the pit of your stomach that your future is at risk?

I honor the efforts made by everyone around me to hustle and strive and learn and grow.  But I just want to be sure you’re asking yourself the right question, so you know if you’re placing your energy … and your hopes … on the right thing.

You know the answer.  And if it’s anything other that a resounding “Yes, I’m on track towards financial security,” the time to get honest is now.  Every day is important.  This is a time of such volatility in the world.  But that doesn’t excuse not making any changes that will right the direction of your journey.

Let me know below how you feel about this question.  And if you think anyone you know could benefit from asking it, be sure to click on the “Like” button so you share with them.

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Bio: Sharon O’Day lost everything at age 53: her home, her business, everything. But how could that be? She’s an expert in global finance and marketing with an MBA from the Wharton School. She has worked with governments, corporations, and individuals … yes, she was the secret “weapon,” if you will, behind many individuals in high places. Yet she did! Since then, with her finances completely turned around, Sharon has gone on to interview countless women. She’s done extensive research to understand how that could have happened, especially with her strong knowledge of numbers and finance.

The surprising answers will be shared in her upcoming book “Money After Menopause.” Today her mission is to show as many women as possible how to become financially free for the long term, through her “Over Fifty and Financially Free” coaching programs. She has developed a step-by-step plan to get past all the obstacles that keep women broke and scared … and from reaching the financial peace of mind they so deserve … if they’re willing to do what it takes!

Rather listen than read?  Then click on this link:

29 Things That Will Make Your Life Happier

Sometimes life just gets in the way.

And today I had a real wake-up call.  I was reading Amy Gutman’s article, “5 things I learned when The Organizer paid a visit,” in her blog PlanBNation, about bringing in an organizer to create some order in her surroundings.

It’s part of a “Life Experiment” she’s programming for herself each month in 2012.  In her case, as she says, “Each month, I’ll embark on a new experiment—a concrete set of activities tied to a particular time frame. At the end of the month, I’ll reflect on how my life has shifted as a result of taking these actions.”

For Amy, this month it’s about getting organized.

For me, it’s about taking back control over my environment.

What does that mean?

It means looking at that huge virtual “To Do” list in my head and selecting 29 daily activities, one per day (yes, February has 29 days), that are visible and that are bugging me.

Unless you’ve just moved into a brand-new house or apartment, I’m sure you can relate to the things that bug me.

I rebuilt my home from dirt to roof in 2002.  It took me about a year.  So I’ve been living in what started as perfection for nine glorious (and totally distracted) years.

I travel a lot.  And for years every time I came home, I’d exclaim, “Oh, it feels SO good to be home.”  But more recently I’ve been saying, “Hmmm, the key’s getting harder to turn in the lock; I have to remember to spray some WD-40 into it to clean it out.  Or someday it won’t unlock.”

What else?

Well, I noticed the toilet in the guest bathroom seemed to be filling all the time.  I found a crack in the uptake tube inside the tank, so I bought the full “toilet innards” at Home Depot, set them beside the toilet and shut off the water.  How long ago was that?

When I wasn’t watching, the small trees in my garden became big trees, and started blocking the much-needed sunlight from the smaller plants.  Today the garden is very different from the one I designed and planted almost a decade ago.  My computer’s screen saver throws up photos of that long-ago happy little garden and reminds me of how much sadder it looks today.  It needs a facelift.

What else has snuck up on me?  My accumulation of paper is bordering on overflow.  My constant book purchases mean my bookcases are no longer orderly.  (I still like the feel of paper too much … and that of my pen making enthusiastic or critical comments in the margins.)

Recently I remarked that the paint color I so painstakingly selected for the room where I work – the precise color of linen to contrast with white trim – is looking a little shabby.

And then the garbage disposal gave up the ghost a few months ago.  Did I replace it?  No, I just shifted over to the second sink and convinced myself that was better for the environment anyway.

In short – and in truth – as I let my work and passions and distractions take over more and more of my consciousness, I allowed my surroundings to degrade.  And each time I noticed something, I excused it or invented a justification I thought I could live with.  What I now realize is how much energy is consumed each time I see whatever it is … and say, “Someday I need to take care of that.”

Today is that “someday.”  Today Amy Gutman’s own challenge has led me to mine.  About a year ago, someone recommended making a list of everything we were “putting up with.”  I had very few things on that list.  Today I have far too many.  I need to squirt WD-40, call a plumber, sort books, replace light bulbs, repaint the front door and so on.

So what have you allowed to slip … as you juggle life?  As you build your business?  As you meet the needs and wants of others?

Be honest.  What are you putting up with?  (It can be large or small.)  What are the things you’re overlooking that bother you, maybe quietly, maybe loudly.  Isn’t it time to get them out of your life?

What if we challenge one another?  If you’re game, make a list of 29 things you’ve been meaning to get done that will make life more pleasant if you do.  Even if it’s just to get them out of your sight.  Most shouldn’t take more that 10-15 minutes to achieve.  (Don’t list huge projects or you won’t fit them into your day.)  Some may cost very little or nothing.  Just be sure to pick those that don’t put new stress on your finances.  Throw in some real easy ones so you can catch up on the first few days of the month that we’ve already missed.

For example, here are the first six I’ve done this weekend to play catch-up:
•    WD-40 the front door lock.
•    Change how and where I store all my passwords.
•    Clear off the kitchen island.
•    Sort through two bookcases and box up books to donate to local library.
•    Scrub the front door.
•    Clean out the water feature in my garden and get it working again.

So let’s each set about picking whatever one we feel like doing each day, and then cross it off … until we all move into the next month as much happier versions of ourselves.

Let me know down below if you’re game …

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Bio: Sharon O’Day lost everything at age 53: her home, her business, everything. But how could that be? She’s an expert in global finance and marketing with an MBA from the Wharton School. She has worked with governments, corporations, and individuals … yes, she was the secret “weapon,” if you will, behind many individuals in high places. Yet she did! Since then, with her finances completely turned around, Sharon has gone on to interview countless women. She’s done extensive research to understand how that could have happened, especially with her strong knowledge of numbers and finance.

The surprising answers will be shared in her upcoming book “Money After Menopause.” Today her mission is to show as many women as possible how to become financially free for the long term, through her “Over Fifty and Financially Free” coaching programs. She has developed a step-by-step plan to get past all the obstacles that keep women broke and scared … and from reaching the financial peace of mind they so deserve … if they’re willing to do what it takes!

Rather listen than read? Click below:

What You REALLY Want

Last week I wrote about the nine steps it takes to “Play Big.”  The first one, which actually relates to virtually every one of us, was “Take your head out of the sand.”

I’m going to assume that you did.

So, now that you’ve taken your head out of the sand, are you ready to draw a line in the sand?

Follow along with me.

Most people today don’t know what they really want.  They think they do.  They can make a list of things they’d buy if they could.  They know what they’d do with a million bucks if they won the lottery.  They know the house they’d buy if they got lucky and their businesses shot off the charts.

But is that what they really want?  Or is it what they think they want?  You see …

A recent Texas A&M study says a person is bombarded by 850 commercial messages a day, on average.”

So, much of what fills people’s wish lists is driven by “externals,” by what they see and hear about.  From TV, ads on smart phones, websites, billboards, from what friends have or talk about.  I know, I know.  It sounds so superficial…

Why?  Because it is.

By keeping people’s wish lists long, advertisers know they can keep them in a perpetual state of discontent.  They never have enough.  There’s always a newer iPad, a thinner mobile device, a sleeker car, hotter jeans.  Better … faster … cooler … more awesome.

Are you thinking “hamster on a wheel” yet?

Want to know how to get off?

Stop.

Sit quietly with a pad of paper and list everything you think you want.  Do a brain dump.  List absolutely everything you can think of.  Be sure to also take the time to go inside and look at what’s most important to you.  What will bring you joy not just in the short term, but also feed into later joy?  What touches your core, your values?  Don’t write down what you think you should want.  This is your secret list.

Once you’re done, start picking out any two things on the list.  Decide which of the two is more important to you and cross off the other one.

Do that until you have just three things left on your list.

These three are the things that will bring you the greatest happiness when you achieve them.  It doesn’t matter what they are; everyone’s three will be different.  But they are what will truly drive you to achieve.  And everything else on the list (all those things you crossed off) should be things you would gladly sacrifice in order to obtain or achieve your special three.

Now it’s time to draw the proverbial line in the sand.

For each of the three, set a deadline of when you could reasonably fulfill them, whatever they are.  Stretch yourself a bit.  Write the three things, plus their deadlines, on a clean piece of paper and save it somewhere.  And make a commitment to yourself that, come hell or high water, you are going to meet those deadlines.

Then get ready for the obstacles.  Expect things to go wrong.  If you fall down, get back up, brush off your shins and keep going.

Nothing really important comes easy.

By the way, no one needs to know what’s on your short list.

But as you obtain or achieve them, one by one, you will understand what real fulfillment is.  You’ll understand priorities.  You’ll know what focus is.

And you’ll be infinitely happier than the people still chasing every shiny object thrown in their path.

Then you can either pity them, or share this little exercise with them.

I think I know which one you’ll do.

(Let me know below …)

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Bio: Sharon O’Day lost everything at age 53: her home, her business, everything. But how could that be? She’s an expert in global finance and marketing with an MBA from the Wharton School. She has worked with governments, corporations, and individuals … yes, she was the secret “weapon,” if you will, behind many individuals in high places. Yet she did! Since then, with her finances completely turned around, Sharon has gone on to interview countless women. She’s done extensive research to understand how that could have happened, especially with her strong knowledge of numbers and finance.

The surprising answers will be shared in her upcoming book “Money After Menopause.” Today her mission is to show as many women as possible how to become financially free for the long term, through her “Over Fifty and Financially Free” coaching programs. She has developed a step-by-step plan to get past all the obstacles that keep women broke and scared … and from reaching the financial peace of mind they so deserve … if they’re willing to do what it takes!

Rather listen than read?  Click the link below:

How to Truly Play Big

I always disliked the expression “put on your big girl panties” and I’m not quite sure why.  Maybe because it just felt a little demeaning.

But, the more I look at our economy, the more I realize that the government is not going to provide the solution.  So we each have to take personal responsibility for triggering its jump-start.  And what that phrase says, when we don’t have our big girl panties on, is that we’re still acting from a place of dependence.  Of little girl excuse-making.

If you’re a regular reader of mine, you know my stand on personal responsibility.  Well, here’s another take on it.

A few nights ago, I heard an interview with a guy from Goldman Sachs.  I normally think of them as the bad guys, for the role they played in helping topple the economy in 2008. But this guy in particular was worth listening to.  Jim O’Neill is the CEO of Asset Management for them.  He and Charlie Rose were discussing where the world economy – as well as ours – is going.

In talking about Europe, O’Neill mentioned that one of the biggest problems Italy has is that only 40% of its women are involved in economic activity and that the brain power, the IQ power of women in that country is being wasted.

It made me stop and think of the role of women in the world economy … and in ours.  It made me realize that if any of us is playing small, then we’re not putting out our full woman brain power … woman IQ … woman ability … woman power in general.

If ever there was a time, this is a time when we do need to play big.  We have the ability to make a difference in our economy.  The sum of the parts – the efforts of millions of women – can get this economy going.  Bit by bit.  Day by day.  But we have to get past our own head stuff.

Anything we have that’s holding us back ultimately holds everything back.  I’m not saying that we’re the cause of the problem … but I’m saying we can be the solution to the problem.

So I’m going to look in more detail at the same nine steps I wrote about in last week’s article entitled “Time to Stop Playing Small” and how those steps can help you “Play Big.”  I hope you’re in this with me, because I think we can be the real hope and change.

1.    Get your head out of the sand:  Accept that you are an intrinsic part of the economy, even if just one cog in the wheel.  (Each cog counts!)  If nothing has changed in what you’ve been doing for the last three or four years, it’s time to look at it now.

2.    Get real about your life and your money:  Most people are living in some fantasy world and have not looked honestly at what’s important and what’s not in their lives.  If that’s your case, you’re basically running on automatic.  Same goes for your money.  If you don’t know exactly how much you make and how much you spend, you’re not being honest.

3.    Stop procrastinating or lying to yourself:  We’re talking about today.  Not tomorrow.  If you’ve had plans you haven’t implemented, or if you’ve talked for ages about something you wanted to change and haven’t yet, now’s the time to change it.  Look at what you’re doing with your time and energy.  If you’re not playing full on, you’re either dragging your heels or not being truthful.  It’s time to stop that.

4.    Ignore what anyone says you can or can’t do:  No one knows you as well as you do.  (Any outside opinion is just that: an opinion.)  And only you know how badly you want to do something.  If it’s important to you, ignore everyone.  Dream as big as you want … and then move to make the dream a reality.

5.    Figure out where you want to be:  It’s about the “vision thing.”  Get very specific and very visual about what you want an hour, a day, a week and a month to look like in your ideal life.  Live it in your mind’s eye.  Feel how it feels.  Let the emotion be a driver for you.

6.    Put together a step-by-step plan to get there:  Get clear on what the gap looks like between where you are and where you want to be.  Then chunk that journey down into do-able pieces.  And write them down so you always know what to do next.

7.    Get help if you need it:  If you’re tripping over how you handle money, find an adviser or a program that can remove any fears or obstacles.  If it’s a skill you’re missing, find an adult education class.  Tap into all your friends and acquaintances by asking for advice if you think they know what you want to know.  Help is available and does not have to cost a fortune.

8.    Take the first steps:  Don’t focus on the entire journey.  It may overwhelm you.  If the first steps look easy but the steps later on scare you, just focus on the early ones.  By the time you get to the later ones, they most likely won’t scare you any more.

9.    And keep going:  Find someone to share your plan with.  Ask that person to be an accountability buddy for you.  But be sure that person believes in your dream, wants you to succeed and won’t be threatened by any change you want in your life.  And be sure to make them part of the celebration as you complete each step.

Now congratulate yourself.

You’re about to start playing big!

Drop me a note below and let me know what you’re already doing to be sure you’re in your big girl panties …

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Bio: Sharon O’Day lost everything at age 53: her home, her business, everything. But how could that be? She’s an expert in global finance and marketing with an MBA from the Wharton School. She has worked with governments, corporations, and individuals … yes, she was the secret “weapon,” if you will, behind many individuals in high places. Yet she did! Since then, with her finances completely turned around, Sharon has gone on to interview countless women. She’s done extensive research to understand how that could have happened, especially with her strong knowledge of numbers and finance.

The surprising answers will be shared in her upcoming book “Money After Menopause.” Today her mission is to show as many women as possible how to become financially free for the long term, through her “Over Fifty and Financially Free” coaching programs. She has developed a step-by-step plan to get past all the obstacles that keep women broke and scared … and from reaching the financial peace of mind they so deserve … if they’re willing to do what it takes!

Click below if you’d rather listen

Stop Playing Small

This will be short and sweet.  Because it’s a topic that makes me so angry, I think I should limit myself to as few words as possible.

But I have to say something.

Last week I posted an article on Facebook that I had read in Forbes Online entitled “Why Do Women Round Down When Men Round Up?” by Forbes staffer Jenna Goudreau.  Her premise was that, whereas men stretch numbers (and everything else in life) upward, we women shrink everything down.  Including our qualities and capabilities.

This was based on a piece out of Harvard Business Review insinuating that women in all professional settings are held back by this tendency to minimize our talents, skills and experience. The conclusion was that we focus on the glass half empty, rather than the glass half full.  We are afraid … to make mistakes, look dumb or fall short of being perfect.

Valerie Young, Ed.D, author of The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women, concludes that “Being female means you and your work automatically stand a greater chance of being ignored, discounted, trivialized, devalued or otherwise taken less seriously than a man’s.”

I say that, by the time you’re in your 40s or 50s, hopefully you’re long past what to me sounds like self-victimization.  “Woe is me.  I wasn’t good at math.  I have no control over my own destiny.  I have to accept the crumbs that are left to me.”

You do have choices in life.  You can either buy into what’s being perpetuated in the media or you can decide that it doesn’t pertain to you.

And here’s why it’s particularly important to straighten out your attitude soon.  (If not yesterday.)

Unless you’re already financially secure for life, it’s time to stop playing small.  Time to “get real.”  No one is going to come save you.  It’s up to you to figure out what you need to live today and what you’ll need in the future.  It’s time to get real about what you have and what you don’t.  What’s important to you and what’s not.  (Protect what’s important and shed the rest.)

Nothing in the U.S. or the world economy indicates that we’re on a path to great economic improvement or growth.  Nor will we be seeing “pre-2007” conditions again for the foreseeable future.

This does not mean there are no opportunities out there.  They just don’t look like they used to, and you’ll have to be more creative to unearth them.  But they’re there.

So, especially if you don’t have a decade or two to waste before starting to get serious about your future finances, my recommendations are the following for anyone not already set for life:

1.    Get your head out of the sand.
2.    Get real about your life and your money.
3.    Stop procrastinating or lying to yourself.
4.    Ignore what anyone says you can or can’t do.
5.    Figure out where you want to be.
6.    Put together a step-by-step plan to get there.
7.    Get help if you need it.
8.    Take the first steps.
9.    And keep going.

Let me know in the comment section below what, if anything, is keeping you from taking these steps to the financial freedom you so deserve.

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Bio: Sharon O’Day lost everything at age 53: her home, her business, everything. But how could that be? She’s an expert in global finance and marketing with an MBA from the Wharton School. She has worked with governments, corporations, and individuals … yes, she was the secret “weapon,” if you will, behind many individuals in high places. Yet she did! Since then, with her finances completely turned around, Sharon has gone on to interview countless women. She’s done extensive research to understand how that could have happened, especially with her strong knowledge of numbers and finance.

The surprising answers will be shared in her upcoming book “Money After Menopause.” Today her mission is to show as many women as possible how to become financially free for the long term, through her “Over Fifty and Financially Free” coaching programs. She has developed a step-by-step plan to get past all the obstacles that keep women broke and scared … and from reaching the financial peace of mind they so deserve.

Rather listen? Give me 5 little minutes …

Relationship With Money

We throw the word “money” around with very little thought.

And that could be costing you big time.

As we go into this next year, it’s more important than ever to get a real close (in fact “intimate”) relationship with your money.  Not something you keep at arm’s length.  But instead, something that, if you personified it, you could have sitting across the table from you, sharing a cup of tea or a cold beer.  A friend, an ally, someone who has your back.

Okay, that may sound crazy.  But I can’t think of another way to get you to understand that you can’t be financially free or secure if you think of money as your enemy.  Or if you ignore it like that unused workout equipment that’s sitting hidden in your garage.

So I’d like you to take a little time to think through the questions I’m going to ask about different associations we all have with money.  If you answer honestly, you’ll soon know where the sticking points are in how you relate to your money.  And where you might want to do some work so you have a fighting chance to make 2012 a positive year rather than one where you tread water or, worse yet, fall further behind.

Security:  Did your family have trouble meeting its bills and did it ever make you feel insecure about your home life?  Or did you know you’d always be safe, no matter what?  Can you cover all your bills comfortably today?  Do you save for a rainy day?  Looking way forward, how much thought have you given to how you’re going to actually pay for all the years you’ll be retired, whether by choice or forcefully?  Have you done any calculations?  Do you have a plan in place?  Are you following that plan?  Or are you ignoring the topic altogether?

Freedom:  How do you define being “financially free?”  What does it mean to you?  Do you avoid the question because you feel trapped in the lifestyle and debt you’re carrying today?  Do you have a clear vision of what “financially free” looks and feels like?  Do you know what that will cost?  Have you put together a plan of how you’re going to get there?

Love:  What are your money expectations when you enter into (or stay in) a personal relationship?  Does love conquer all in a relationship?  Or does money have the power to make or break one?  Are you still waiting to be rescued?  Did you ever equate whether your parents spent money on you with whether or not they loved you?  Did your family have a lot of money and you often wondered if your friends liked you or liked all the nice things you had?

Acceptance:  Do you compare yourself with others around you and feel they judge you in any way?  Do you remember ever being teased at school because of where you lived or how you dressed?  Or do you worry that if you make too much money you’ll no longer by loved and liked by your family and friends?  Or do you feel you need to earn a lot of money for people to think highly of you?

Control:  Did either of your parents give you money or withhold things from you to get you to behave in a certain way?  Have you had boyfriends or a husband who used money to control you?  Have you ever hidden some spending from a partner because you were afraid of the consequences?  Have you ever used money to control your children, including paying their bills in order to keep them close?

Power:  Did your parents argue about money and did you feel the one who lost the argument was the weaker of the two?  Do you open and review all bills and statements?  Or do you relinquish your power to the fear that comes from not knowing where you stand?  Do you feel driven to amass large amounts of money in order to feel powerful?

Status:  Do you purchase things because of what others will think of you if you have them?  Do you drive a car you can’t really afford?  Do you live in a house that’s in keeping with your present income and circumstances, or does it drain a disproportionate amount of your income?

One thing you should know:  there are no right or wrong answers.  Any behaviors that we’re not proud of typically result from how we were raised and what we were taught … or not taught.

So just take note of where you got a little twinge of discomfort as you answered.  Know that it’s a place where your relationship with money is less than direct or clear.  Examine it.  Question where it might have come from.  Change it.

We’re all masters of our own destiny, you know.

Money has no innate power of its own.  But it can either be something you have a healthy use for … or it can act as a roadblock because of the emotional energy you have imbued it with.

It’s entirely up to you.

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Bio: Sharon O’Day lost everything at age 53: her home, her business, everything. But how could that be? She’s an expert in global finance and marketing with an MBA from the Wharton School. She has worked with governments, corporations, and individuals … yes, she was the secret “weapon,” if you will, behind many individuals in high places. Yet she did! Since then, with her finances completely turned around, Sharon has gone on to interview countless women. She’s done extensive research to understand how that could have happened, especially with her strong knowledge of numbers and finance.

The surprising answers will be shared in her upcoming book “Money After Menopause.” Today her mission is to show as many women as possible how to become financially free for the long term, through her “Over Fifty and Financially Free” coaching programs. She has developed a step-by-step plan to get past all the obstacles that keep women broke and scared … and from reaching the financial peace of mind they so deserve.

Rather listen than read?  Click here:

Personal Responsibility

I thought the rules about finances didn’t pertain to me.  They were for “other people.”

I knew all about numbers.  I had been raised in a family where we were involved in my Dad’s businesses from early on.  At 13, I worked at his iron ore mine in the interior of Brazil.  I monitored and recorded how much ore was loaded in each railroad car before it left on its journey from Mariana, Minas Gerais, to the port and on to some foreign steel mill.

By then our family had already gone from “extremely comfortable” because of my father’s business successes … to dead broke because he took his eye off the ball and his local partner cleaned him out.  I already knew about scrubbing the bottles I gathered at a construction site in Alexandria, Virginia, in order to collect the 2-cent deposit.  (You see, the grocery store next door to the Rexall on the corner only accepted clean bottles.)  That was my allowance.  And I knew about my $5 Christmas money from my grandmother going towards paying for the fridge.

So I knew numbers.

Twenty years into my own career, with an MBA from the Wharton School of Finance under my belt, I found myself dead broke too.

Somehow, despite everything I knew about finance, I didn’t think I needed to follow the same rules I set out for my consulting clients.

I’ve talked elsewhere about how I lost everything.  And about how that triggered deep introspection and research to understand what had gone wrong.  (And how to “right” it.  Which I did.)

Today, after working with so many women whose upbringing and lack of financial education have kept them vulnerable, I’m very clear about a growing challenge facing our nation.  It’s something that has woven its way throughout my writings more and more this past year.  It’s something that has to be in place in order to successfully change one’s financial situation.

And that “something” is personal responsibility.

Time after time, I’d see that personal responsibility is the one differentiating factor between those women who succeed in turning their finances around and those who don’t.  Those who succeed do not consider themselves victims.  They do not assume they are “entitled” to things.  And they don’t make excuses for themselves.  Instead, they look honestly at their behaviors, determine those that are detrimental, “own” them, work to change them bit by bit, use every tool that’s handed them … and go on to thrive.

As we enter 2012, I realize that it’s no different for our country.

I see a country that is deep in debt, not “earning” enough (in tax revenues) and spending too much.  Not saving.  Not investing wisely.  I see a government that blames the situation on everything but itself, as if it were a victim.  I see a government that promotes entitlement, thereby diluting the personal responsibility of its players and its citizens even more.  I see a government that refuses to accept any blame and thrives on excuses.  And I see a government that is not going to play any role in the foreseeable future to change much of anything, regardless of what party plays what role.

So what are our options as individuals?

The mantle of personal responsibility has to settle on us.  We’ll have to get ourselves out of our own messes.  If the best aspects of “exceptionalism” that this country is known for are going to survive, and even thrive, it will be because as a people we choose to thrive.

By taking responsibility for our own debt, our own spending and our own investing for the future – by not counting on some government program to jumpstart the economy or supplement our income – we’ll take care of ourselves.  And, in the aggregate, we’ll move our country forward.

You’ve probably heard a phrase made famous by John F. Kennedy: “a rising tide lifts all boats.”  Well, surprise, surprise, looks like it’s up to us to provide the water.

So … here’s to thriving in 2012 … because of who we are.

Let me know in the comments below if you agree …

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Bio: Sharon O’Day lost everything at age 53: her home, her business, everything. But how could that be? She’s an expert in global finance and marketing with an MBA from the Wharton School. She has worked with governments, corporations, and individuals … yes, she was the secret “weapon,” if you will, behind many individuals in high places. Yet she did! Since then, with her finances completely turned around, Sharon has gone on to interview countless women. She’s done extensive research to understand how that could have happened, especially with her strong knowledge of numbers and finance.

The surprising answers will be shared in her upcoming book “Money After Menopause.” Today her mission is to show as many women as possible how to become financially free for the long term, through her “Over Fifty and Financially Free” coaching programs. She has developed a step-by-step plan to get past all the obstacles that keep women broke and scared … and from reaching the financial peace of mind they so deserve.

In case you’d rather listen, click here:

Forget Resolutions: Countdown to Twenty-Twelve

The holidays have peaked.  You’re sitting back, basking in the warmth of family joy.  There are leftovers in the fridge, and bags of torn wrappings for the garbage pickup.  (“Hmmm, there must be a more environmental way … but the kids do love to tear off that paper …”)

All the planning, all the adrenaline build-up, all the checklists made for a perfect couple of days.  Except that little glitch, of course, you know the one.  (There’s always one.  What was it this year?)

Your emotions ricochet between satisfaction and exhaustion and relief.  It’s over.  We made it past this first phase of the holidays.  Done.

Now starts the countdown to Twenty-Twelve.

This last third of December comes under some sort of “fantasy umbrella.”  Rules are broken.  We allow ourselves little no-no’s, and then say we’ll make up for them in the New Year.  And, after the tough year some of us have had, maybe we really deserve the respite.

But I challenge you to fit one new piece into the countdown to New Year’s.

Sure, you’re thinking of how you’re going to usher in the New Year.  Where you’ll go, what you’ll do, what you’ll wear, and if those holiday pounds will show.  Or, how to make that sensible stay-at-home celebration meaningful.  No, not meaningful.  Glorious!

Somewhere in the back of your mind, you’re also thinking “resolutions.”  Everyone is.  And everyone knows very few resolutions ever make it past January 5th.

So this year I propose a new little challenge.

In the next few days leading to the New Year, write down the five things you wish had been different in 2011.  Maybe you already know what they are and can write them down right now.  Maybe you need to let the task simmer in your brain for a few days, and let them come to the fore one by one.

By sometime around December 30th, be sure you have your list of five things.  Sit down over a cup of tea or coffee, somewhere quiet, and think of the opposite of each of those five things.

•    “I wish I didn’t have to work so hard and had more time for my family” becomes “I put in reasonable work hours and have more time for my family.”
•    “I wish it weren’t so hard to close out each month because my income is too small” becomes “It’s easy to close out each month because my income is large.”
•    “I wish I weren’t so tired all the time from carrying this extra weight” becomes “I’m full of energy because my weight is in a healthy range.”

Write them on a clean piece of paper.

At the top of the page, write “What 2012 Will Bring Me.”  Make it fancy.  Make it simple.  Do whatever you want, but “make it.”

Post your intentions for the year somewhere where you see them all the time:  over your computer, on the fridge door, in your top desk drawer.

Goals are supposed to be real specific:  losing 25 pounds, earning $35,000 more, for example.  But that’s how resolutions get broken, and then abandoned.

Instead of defining exactly how and what you’ll do, you’ve plotted out your direction for the year.  Your subconscious now knows what you want.  And each time you have a decision to make, looking at your list will help you decide which way to go.

I bet by the end of 2012 you’ll find you’ve made some major strides on some of the things you said you want.

Give it a try.  It’s infinitely better than making … and breaking … resolutions.  As we all do.

And, if you’d like to post one or two of your intentions in the comment section below (after all, some are too private to post!), please do so.  It might be just the incentive someone else needs!

Here’s to making Twenty-Twelve a truly stellar year!

Rather listen than read? Click here:

Holidays So What’s YOUR Normal

The holidays are almost here.  Despite the hubbub and flurry of activity, it can be a time of introspection for some, whether they’re in the middle of all the activity or not.

You may have heard that higher levels of depression, anxiety and suicide are somehow linked to the holidays.  The media brings up the “holiday blues” each year.  But they’re mistaken.  Experts from the Harvard Medical School find no such link.  In fact, they report research findings from various sources that prove that such statistics actually drop during the winter months.

But that doesn’t mean we’re not tempted to compare and contrast this season with other ones in the past.  And the comparison may be positive or negative.

If this season compares positively, bravo!  But if it compares negatively, here are just a few of the reasons we hear:

•    Times are tough, not quite what they used to be, and gifting will be pretty skimpy this year.

•    We’ll go through the paces of all the trappings, the extravagant gourmet meals and piles of presents under the tree … while we dread the January credit card statements.

•    Christmases weren’t so great when we were kids, maybe even a time of higher-than-usual stress, and we’d rather ignore them altogether.

•    We’ve moved and aren’t near all the people who made the holidays so special.

•    Someone we shared the holidays with is no longer with us, whether a loved one who’s gone or kids who are grown.

•    Holidays have just become too commercial and have lost much of their meaning.

•    And so on.

Regardless what anyone else thinks or says, I believe we owe it to ourselves to find a few quiet moments and get honest.  What are the emotions that the holidays are bringing up?  Whatever they are, instead of stuffing them down and pretending everything’s perfect … let them rise and recognize them.

And once you’re real clear about what’s going on inside you, identify that as your “normal.”  Everyone’s expectations of the holidays are different.  Everyone’s memories are different.  Everyone’s everyday reality is different.

How you decide to play out that normal is up to you.  Whether you decide to conform to the wishes of the majority, or buck expectations, or create brand new traditions … whatever you choose to do, there is no right or wrong.

Just be sure to give yourself the gift of honesty and clarity.  However you play it on the outside, make sure to play it with integrity on the inside.  Acknowledge your feelings.  Remember, whatever it is … it’s your normal.

Happy holidays!

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Bio: Sharon O’Day lost everything at age 53: her home, her business, everything. But how could that be? She’s an expert in global finance and marketing with an MBA from the Wharton School. She has worked with governments, corporations, and individuals … yes, she was the secret “weapon,” if you will, behind many individuals in high places. Yet she did! Since then, with her finances completely turned around, Sharon has gone on to interview countless women. She’s done extensive research to understand how that could have happened, especially with her strong knowledge of numbers and finance.

The surprising answers will be shared in her upcoming book “Money After Menopause.” Today her mission is to show as many women as possible how to become financially free for the long term, through her “Over Fifty and Financially Free” coaching programs. She has developed a step-by-step plan to get past all the obstacles that keep women broke and scared … and from reaching the financial peace of mind they so deserve.