In case you’d rather listen than read …

Audio

A few weeks ago, my charming, creative and adventurous online friend Roslyn Tanner Evans asked me to be part of a blog tour, explaining that she would pass the baton to me, as one of her three selected bloggers, and would answer a few questions about her blogging practices. I accepted. Then Roz, who is thriving in a new jewelry design business called Earth and Moon Design, wrote about how answering the four questions opened her eyes to revelations about herself.

The same thing happened to me.

Let me answer the questions and you’ll see what I mean.

What am I working on?

As a life-long entrepreneur, I’ve always believed in having what I call my “quilt” of activities. (Others call that “multiple streams of income.”)

My readers know me best as a Money Mentor, helping people (primarily women) take command and control of their finances in order to build a more secure financial future. But I also have an import/export consulting business and a large-scale international power-generation consulting practice.

The first one keeps my fingers in many pies as I guide companies – usually small ones – to be more competitive by helping them import or export products. The second one involves me in major projects in foreign countries. Sometimes they are petroleum-related, sometimes related to electricity, heavy-equipment investments … in short, projects that can take years to come to fruition. Both these activities have been the backbone of my career, spanning more than four decades.

Lastly, more recently I’ve given in to a playful, creative urge that has led me to launch a jewelry line that combines two worlds I love: I use agates that come from my home country of Brazil, where my father had mines. And I use Venetian glass that I discovered during the years I worked in Europe.

A full plate, right?

How does my work differ from others of its genre?

Here let’s stick to the activity you know me for: money mentoring.

This activity grew out of a personal event that took place in my early fifties: I lost all my money, despite being a finance person who was good with numbers. (Details can be found in My Story.) As I rebuilt my life from scratch and sought to understand how that loss had happened, I realized I was not alone. Many women operate under all sorts of mixed messages, unclear understandings and a form of money blindness … mostly because of how they were raised around money.

Over the years, money has become the topic du jour. Today everyone offers money programs on mindset, on changing expectations, on spiritual alignment. Where my work differs is that it addresses the psychological messed-messaging, but then it gets down to brass tacks. Hard numbers. And here come my favorite expressions: “personal responsibility” and “self determination.”

I’m probably one of the most empathic cheerleaders you know, but I’m also a no-nonsense, no-holds-barred, let’s-get-you-in-charge-of-these-numbers mentor. I lovingly confront my readers with their reality, always giving them the steps to fix things. As I often say:

“Your life today is the accumulation of all your past decisions. The good news is that you can change it by making better decisions.”

Why do I write what I do?

For the past four years, I have been driven to share all my knowledge about money. Part of that drive comes from having watched my mother face financial uncertainty in her last years. The look on her face broke my heart. And part of that drive comes from knowing that virtually every woman has inside her the ability to take control of her finances – it’s not rocket science – but someone needs to show her that truth.

For four years I have tried to show my readers that truth.

How does my writing process work?

I have a lot of respect for people who talk about writing calendars and content management. I really do. But I don’t function that way. I stay connected to my “universe” of women readers (whether clients or not) through Facebook, the comments on my articles, emails I receive asking for guidance or calls for straight-out help. During the week, certain ideas stick in my brain. I see new patterns. New concerns.

And when it comes time to write, usually the night before publication, I pick one of the ideas, sit with it for a few minutes and maybe research a fact or two that supports my position. Then I allow the floodgates to open. I call them my “downloads.” Words flow out of my fingers and, an hour later, an article of 800-1,000 words is ready to record for the accompanying audio.

I’ve done this nearly 200 times. (191 to be exact.)

So why an “unusual” blog tour?

Because the bus stops here.

I’m done writing. I know how many women have made wonderful life changes as a result of my words. I also know how many read my words week-in-week-out, tell me how great my writing is and change nothing. I see some women buying into fantasy business solutions that are destined to fail and to leave them even worse off. I see the way the internet disseminates information with no filters of truth, yet some strange mantle of credibility. I see more “busy-ness” than “business.”

I don’t believe my words can do any more good right now. The 191 articles (plus two wonderful guest articles) will stay up for anyone to benefit.

But it is time for me to ride off into the sunset and reinvent how I share what I know. Instead of writing and mentoring, I’m going to dedicate that time to visiting offline universes. I’ll see if I can conjure up something that will reach more women and inspire them to make the changes needed for them to take care of themselves.

Meanwhile, I’ll see you on Facebook. I’ll click “like” and make my little comments. I’ll post pictures of wherever I roam. I might even put my jewelry designs online and tempt you with my beauties.

Know that you’ll be in my heart … and that I’ll be available for financial 9-1-1 calls. (As the eternal cheerleader, I’ll even hold on to my pom-poms.)

And I’ll be back when the time’s right for you … and for me.

As we say here in South Florida, hasta luego.

Warmly,

Sharon

xxxxxxx

Bio: Sharon O’Day fixes financial lives. She is a tell-it-like-it-is money expert with a successful career in global finance, plus an MBA from the Wharton School. Today she specializes in getting entrepreneurial women over 50 back on their game so they can have more money, less stress and more joy. With her “Over Fifty and Financially Free” strategies, they take actions that lead to their ultimate goal: financial  peace of mind.

The post An Unusual Blog Tour: The Bus Stops Here appeared first on Money expert, personal money mentor, financial independence, women and money.

Audio Saving Money

I’ve heard every excuse.

And, to be honest, I’ve used some of them myself.

I feel it’s time to call ourselves out on what we’re doing to ourselves.

As a country, our savings record is pretty shabby.

Saving Money

We have three kinds of savings that we should be doing: (1) short term: saving enough to have at least six months of living expenses; (2) medium term: saving for a big purchase such as a house, boat, college, etc., and (3) long term: saving for retirement.

In 2012, Bankrate.com said that 28% of Americans had no savings at all. Twenty percent have some, but not enough to cover even three months of living expenses. Forty-three percent had enough to cover three months of expenses. And that’s three months, not the six months many experts recommend.

Saving for big purchases is harder to measure, because we don’t know what accounts are specifically for big purchases, and not part of emergency funds or retirement savings. In any case, savings efforts aren’t exactly stellar: a Pitney Bowes report stated that in 2011 the average savings account balance in the U.S. was $5,923. (Remember, that’s an average, so some may be doing a good job while some are doing nothing, or very little. But the average number is numbingly low. Not many cars or houses are being bought with under $6,000!)

As for saving money for retirement, it can be tucked away in all sorts of accounts, including IRAs, stock trading accounts, even gold bullion. It doesn’t matter what form it’s saved in, as long as it is. Employees have a greater chance of saving if they have access to company retirement plans. Entrepreneurs have to be more self-motivated to save on their own.

And the news is not good. A 2014 Retirement Confidence Study says that 73% of those without a retirement plan [whether an IRA, 401(k) or 403(b)] have under $1,000 in investments and savings.

Age-Based Savings Guidelines

So how much should be in those retirement savings accounts? In 2012, Time Magazine reported on some interesting age-based savings guidelines provided by Fidelity Investments. These offer a quick-and-dirty assessment of whether we’re on track, although the calculations should actually be more precise. In any case, they said:

• At age 35, you should have saved an amount equal to your annual salary.
• At age 45, you should have saved three times your annual salary.
• At age 55, you should have saved five times your annual salary.
• At age 67, about when you retire, you should have eight times your annual salary.

How are we doing? Well, in December 2011, USA Today said that when it came to saving money, half of all retirees had less than $25,000 in savings. (Not exactly eight times their annual salary.)

No More Excuses

Here are the Top Ten Excuses I hear:

1. “My plan is to save what I have left over, and I never have anything left over.”
2. “I transfer money from checking to savings, but then have a bad month and need the savings to cover my checking account overdraft.”
3. “I save whenever I get a big windfall, like my IRS refund check, but I don’t get enough of those.”
4. “Every time I put something aside, one of my kids comes and tells me she blew the engine in her car and needs it to commute to work, or something like that.”
5. “Savings accounts don’t pay much interest, so it’s easier to just leave the money in my checking account. And somehow it gets spent …”
6. “No one can save money in this lousy economy.”
7. “I’m still young and have plenty of time to save later.”
8. “I’ve just never been a good saver; no one in my family is.”
9. “I have too much debt.”
10. “The prices of food and gas are going up so fast, they eat up everything I think of saving.”

So how are you doing compared to Fidelity’s age-based retirement savings guidelines?

If you’re not doing as well as you’d like, how many of the Top Ten Excuses have you used with yourself? (I admit to having leaned on #1 and #7 for far too much of my early career.)

Let us know in the Comments section below, if you’re brave enough to share …

xxxxxxx

Bio: Sharon O’Day fixes financial lives. She is a tell-it-like-it-is money expert with a successful career in global finance, plus an MBA from the Wharton School. Today she specializes in getting entrepreneurial women over 50 back on their game so they can have more money, less stress and more joy. With her “Over Fifty and Financially Free” strategies, they take actions that lead to their ultimate goal: financial  peace of mind.

The post Saving Money: The Top Ten Excuses I Hear appeared first on Money expert, personal money mentor, financial independence, women and money.

Audio Social Security

We never really pay attention until it’s “about us.”

And by then, it’s too late.

As employees, we have little choice about what’s declared to Social Security: our employer takes out of our paycheck both the employer’s portion and ours.

But as entrepreneurs (whether we have a job elsewhere or not) …

As entrepreneurs, we live in a world of “I’ll do the best I can today and I know I’ll have more money in the years to come.” That’s an entrepreneur’s natural optimism. But that means that we give priority to our cash flow today to be sure we’ll have the resources needed to build or maintain our businesses.

(Retirement is the last thing on our minds.)

That mindset also affects what we declare as salary when we have a choice.

For example, say we are set up as a “Sub S” Corporation and we take part of our income as salary and part as profits from the corporation. We pay taxes, regardless what we call it. But we may take a bit less as salary because that implies having to pay Social Security and Medicare on those earnings.

When we’re young, our need for cash flow feels far more important than our future need for Social Security income.

Time for Social Security

Then, sometime in our sixties, we start looking in earnest at what we’ll receive from Social Security. We start researching how the payments are calculated. (For some reason, we’re totally disinterested until it’s almost time to apply for this benefit.)

Here’s how it works (great little worksheet on that link!):

“Social Security benefits are based on
your lifetime earnings. Your actual earnings are
adjusted or “indexed” to account for changes
in average wages since the year the earnings
were received. Then Social Security calculates
your average indexed monthly earnings during
the 35 years in which you earned the most. We
apply a formula to these earnings and arrive
at your basic benefit, or “primary insurance
amount”. This is how much you would receive
at your full retirement age—65 or older,
depending on your date of birth.”

In short, they take the top 35 years of income (adjusted), add it together and take an average. Say you have 40 years in which you reported income. They’ll take the top 35 years and ignore the rest. But say you have only 33 years in which you reported income. They’ll take those 33, add zeroes for the missing years, and average that.

Needless to say, each year is important but those “zeroes” are killers!

And by then, oh how we wish we had taken higher salaries and paid the darn Social Security. But it’s too late.

How I Shot Myself in the Foot

Why am I writing about this? Because I just got a wake-up call about the early years in my business.  Then, cash flow felt so critical that I took a modest salary from my corporation and let the difference flow through as profits. Nothing “wrong” about what I did.

But it was very short-sighted. If I had taken more as salary and paid the extra 15% or so, I’d have made it up somehow. I could have just cut out one of those forgettable vacations. Or tightened my belt.

But today that fact is locked into the amount of money I will receive as Social Security benefits for the rest of my life.

This is just a heads-up. Retirement and Social Security feel like distant mirages, a lifetime away. (And the popular thing to do today is just write off Social Security altogether, saying it won’t be there for you when the time comes.) But that time is not so far away. No matter how young you are now, it sneaks up on you.

And you’ll bear the brunt of those decisions forever.

Take it for what it’s worth … a little heads up, a “gift” from someone who is a money expert. But who still made the dumb moves so many of us make.

Try not to make them yourself.

And let us know in the Comments section below if you ever check to see how much Social Security estimates you’ll receive when the time comes.

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Bio: Sharon O’Day fixes financial lives. She is a tell-it-like-it-is money expert with a successful career in global finance, plus an MBA from the Wharton School. Today she specializes in getting entrepreneurial women over 50 back on their game so they can have more money, less stress and more joy. With her “Over Fifty and Financially Free” strategies, they take actions that lead to their ultimate goal: financial peace of mind.

The post Social Security: How to Shoot Yourself in the Foot appeared first on Money expert, personal money mentor, financial independence, women and money.

Audio Financial Report Card

Amy got on our first Skype call together and said, “I want you to know that I have a pretty good handle on my finances. The only reason I wanted to talk to you is because I don’t know if I’m doing well or not.”

We’d have to talk more in order for me to know what she meant by “pretty good handle.” And to know whether she was “doing well or not,” we’d need to know relative to what …

I decided to walk her through a simple checklist I use in order to know where to start a conversation.

And I thought it might be useful to share it with you, so you can figure out just how proactive you are with your finances.

Why would you want to do this? Because a lack of clarity around your finances leads to anxiety and strain—and they in turn touch every aspect of your life. Regardless what your financial situation is, ignorance is not bliss. Knowing exactly where you stand gives you the power to do something about it.

Just imagine how good you’d feel if you weren’t worrying about your money!

Instructions for the First Line: Pertains to You

Each statement on your Financial Report Card (below) has two lines before it. The first line is the “pertains” line, meaning the statement pertains to you.

Statements that pertain to everyone will all have an “x” on the first line.

Conditional statements (“If I …”) will have the first line left blank. If the “condition” pertains to you, put an “x” on that first line. It’s easier than it sounds; you’ll see when you look at the statements.

Instructions for the Second Line: You’ve Achieved This

For every statement that has an “x” on the first line, read the statement and decide if it’s something that you have already achieved. If so, put an “x” on the second line. If not, leave the second line blank.

Your Financial Report Card

_x_ ___ I know how much I spend on my monthly bills.
_x_ ___ I know how much my income is each month.
_x_ ___ I know how much debt I’m carrying.
_x_ ___ I know how much I owe to each creditor.
_x_ ___ I know how much interest I’m paying each creditor for my debt.
_x_ ___ I am current on all my debt repayments.
_x_ ___ I have six months of living expenses set aside for emergencies.
_x_ ___ My emergency savings are in easy-access, liquid form.
_x_ ___ I have an automated savings or investment plan in place.
_x_ ___ Part of my income is deferred in long-term retirement accounts.
_x_ ___ My savings accounts have specific goals (retirement, home, boat).
_x_ ___ I can easily put my hands on all my critical financial documents.
_x_ ___ I know my net worth (all my assets minus all my liabilities).
_x_ ___ I understand all the investments in my investment portfolios.
_x_ ___ I do annual reviews of my investments with an advisor I trust.
_x_ ___ I have at least one credit card in my name only.
_x_ ___ I have an updated will.
_x_ ___ I have health insurance.
_x_ ___ I have reviewed my will in the past 12 months.
_x_ ___ I have reviewed my insurance policies in the past 12 months.
_x_ ___ I have clearly defined short, medium and long-term money goals.
___ ___ If I have debt, I have a plan to get out of it.
___ ___ If I’m a renter, I have renter’s insurance.
___ ___ If I’m a homeowner, I know the value of my home today.
___ ___ If I’m a homeowner, I know my mortgage balance.
___ ___ If I’m a homeowner, I know my mortgage interest rate.
___ ___ If I’m a homeowner, I know the equity in my house.
___ ___ If I’m a homeowner, I have homeowner’s insurance.
___ ___ If I have dependent children, I have life insurance.
___ ___ If I have school-age children, I’m saving to help with college.
___ ___ If I’m a critical money earner, I have disability insurance.

___ ___ TOTAL ‘Xs’ IN EACH COLUMN

(My thanks to Galia Gichon for the original concept behind this financial checklist.)

Calculating Your Achievements

When you’re finished, count the total of “Xs” on the first lines and write in the TOTAL.

Then count the total of “Xs” on the second lines and write in that TOTAL.

Divide the total for the second line (achieved) by the total for the first line (pertains). The result will be the percentage you have achieved.

What Do Your Financial Report Card Scores Mean?

The most obvious answer is that you want to get as close as you can to 100%. But there are no good or bad scores.

Instead, look at your score. Then look at the items that you did not mark as “achieved.”

Make a list of what items you still need to achieve and work them into your financial goals for the months to come. Work on one at a time so you don’t overwhelm yourself.

You might want to print out this form (or bookmark the page) and come back once a month to see how you’re doing.

Here’s to your growing success in gaining control over your finances!

Let us know in the Comments section below if you think this kind of Financial Report Card can be useful to you.

∇∇∇

READY TO STOP WORRYING ABOUT YOUR MONEY?
I’m relaunching my “5 Calls to Financial Clarity.”
One-on-one with me. (Plus lots of hand holding.)
In five calls, you’ll know where your major sticking points
are with money. And what to focus on.
You’ll know how you’re spending your money.
You’ll have a viable short-term and long-term spending plan.
And you’ll know your net worth so you can keep tabs on how well you’re doing.
Best of all, you move as slow or as fast as you like; it’s up to you.
All that for a one-time investment of $247. Sound interesting?
If you want in, contact me so
we can discuss the details and free you of financial anxiety!
Hope you’re ready!

xxxxxxx

Bio: Sharon O’Day fixes financial lives. She is a tell-it-like-it-is money expert with a successful career in global finance, plus an MBA from the Wharton School. Today she specializes in getting entrepreneurial women over 50 back on their game so they can have more money, less stress and more joy. With her “Over Fifty and Financially Free” strategies, they take actions that lead to their ultimate goal: financial  peace of mind.

The post Financial Report Card: How Are You Doing? appeared first on Money expert, personal money mentor, financial independence, women and money.

Perception and Feeling Poor

I heard a phrase yesterday that followed me around all day:

“Perception is what we use to convince ourselves that we’re right.”

We may use our perception to capture those thoughts or actions that reinforce what we already believe. And that becomes, “See, I knew that was true.”

And we may use perception to filter out what inconveniently conflicts with one of our beliefs. That takes the form of “I hear that but I know it to be false.” (Thus protecting what we believe. Or want to believe.)

Perception is the greatest ally of limiting beliefs.

How so? And how does this affect our money?

Let’s look at three scenarios.

Perception Scenario #1

You need to build your business by bringing in three new clients, but you have a few doubts about the value of what you are offering. You make a pitch to a potential client.

The client says, “I’m not so sure this is for me, I mean, my case is different.”

You could say, “Well, everyone’s case is different, but my success rate says my system is flexible enough to solve your particular challenge, as it has for so many others.”

Instead you think, “I knew what I offer isn’t what anyone needs, or she would have jumped at it.”

And, instead of listening to the objections and addressing each one to be sure it is valid (which most aren’t), you say, “Okay, I’m sure you’re right.” And walk away from the sale.

Perception Scenario #2

You know you need to start building up savings to supplement your Social Security for your later years, but you always find something more important to do with your spare money.

You read, “Nearly 60 percent of Americans say they plan to retire by age 65, but nearly the same percentage fear they’ll never save enough to do it” (from a survey by Capital One ShareBuilder).

You could say, “Well, anything I save is better than nothing.”

Instead you think, “See, Capital One should know: no one can save enough, so why bother saving at all.”

And, instead of finding ways of cutting back on non-essentials and letting your savings grow over the years, benefiting from compound growth, you pick up the tab the next time you and your girlfriends get together over the weekend.

Perception Scenario #3

You’re bringing in more money than you did last year, and you still have trouble paying all your monthly bills. Yet your lifestyle “feels” like it’s the same lifestyle as back then.

You read, “Hidden inflation is making your money worth less than last year, and not just by the 1-2% the government is admitting to officially.”

You could say, “Well, my income has grown by 35% and I’m sure inflation hasn’t been that high, so where’s my money going?”

Instead you think, “Oh, so it has nothing to do with anything I’m doing; it’s that darn inflation that’s eating up all the extra money I’m earning. Surely I haven’t changed my spending habits that much …”

And, instead of having someone help you understand exactly where your money is going, finding the money “leakers” and establishing a spending plan where you’re in control of your money, can close each month and even save, you continue in the anxiety that comes from ignorance.

The Antidote to Misusing Perception

Someone once said, “Truth is universal. Perception of truth is not.”

And novelist Roberto Bolaño in his apocalyptic “2666” said, “People see what they want to see and what people want to see never has anything to do with the truth.”

More precisely, in “Even Cowgirls Get the Blues” author Tom Robbins wrote “One has not only an ability to perceive the world but an ability to alter one’s perception of it; more simply, one can change things by the manner in which one looks at them.”

So I ask:

Where are we using outside opinions and myths to keep us from doing something we know we need to do in order to be on the path to financial security?

It’s human nature. But that misuse of perception is keeping us in a place of anxiety that is totally unnecessary.

What’s the solution? When we hear that little voice in our head saying, “See, I told you you were right …” about anything, stop and question it honestly. That’s perception, functioning conveniently to make us do (or not do) something we know down deep is good for us.

Let us know in the Comments section below if you thought of any instances where you typically let perception serve as a “convenient truth.”

∇∇∇

INTERESTED IN GETTING YOUR MONEY UNDER CONTROL?
I’m relaunching my “5 Calls to Financial Clarity.” One-on-one with
me. In five calls, you’ll know where your major sticking points are
with money. You’ll know how you’re spending your money. You’ll
have a viable short-term and long-term spending plan. And you’ll
know your net worth so you can keep tabs on how well you’re doing.
Best of all, you move as slow or fast as you like; it’s up to you.
All that for a one-time investment of $247. Sound interesting?
If you want in, contact me and I’ll get back to you
so we can discuss the details and see how to move forward.

Hope you’re ready!

xxxxxxx

Bio: Sharon O’Day fixes financial lives. She is a tell-it-like-it-is money expert with a successful career in global finance, plus an MBA from the Wharton School. Today she specializes in getting entrepreneurial women over 50 back on their game so they can have more money, less stress and more joy. With her “Over Fifty and Financially Free” strategies, they take actions that lead to their ultimate goal: financial  peace of mind.

The post Perception: How We Use It to Keep Ourselves Feeling Poor appeared first on Money expert, personal money mentor, financial independence, women and money.

(Me included.)

What a kick it is to be nominated for the Versatile Blogger Award, a friendly designation by a fellow blogger!

The Versatile Blogger Award

My warmest thanks go out to Veronica Solomon of No Naked Windows for nominating me to the world of Versatile Bloggers.

The rules to receive the award are as follows:
1. Thank the person who nominated you.
2. Provide a link to the person’s blog.
3. Write 7 facts about yourself.
4. Nominate 15 bloggers of your own and tell them.

My Seven Facts

In deciding what “seven facts” about myself to share, I thought I’d link them to some of my greater life lessons, if that’s okay.

1. I’m the youngest of four children, so I had to learn real early how to negotiate (and maybe even manipulate a little). That meant paying attention to what was important to each person involved. That approach, called “stakeholder analysis” in business, became the topic of my MBA thesis and today is probably my most valuable skill when it comes to my international business deals.
2. When I was 11, my Dad lost all his money in a business venture in Brazil, where we grew up. Suddenly the lovely house, servants, private school, clubs, and throngs of so-called “friends” were gone. We packed up a few suitcases and crept off to the U.S. where my Mom would struggle to support us while Dad rebuilt something in Brazil. That was when I learned what money was and how it worked in our lives. (So does it surprise you that I help other women understand the role of money today?)
3. In my early 20s, I spent a couple of years documenting a huge iron ore project (called the Carajás Project) in the Amazon, doing lots of aerial photography. There were no women at the mine, just 300 men, a hundred kilometers through the jungle to the nearest town, no roads. (We flew in by DC-3.) Needless to say, while I was at the mine on assignment I felt like a queen. But when I flew back home to Rio, where the women are gorgeous, I found my ego dragged back to a different reality. I learned to enjoy every compliment, wherever it comes from.
4. At 25 I met a guy on the train from Cuzco to Machu Picchu who wore great cowboy boots and tight jeans. I returned home to Rio after that vacation, sold everything and followed him to “the ends of the earth.” In our case, that meant going to buy and run a restaurant (and live in a thatched-roof hut) on Isla Mujeres, Mexico, as Cancun was just being built across the water. Now that I’m older, I’ve learned that following our heart and dreams early on is what makes that still feel like a possibility in our later years.
5. I have an MBA from The Wharton School, but I have no undergraduate degree. By 27, I had built several businesses. Yet when I came to the U.S., since I had no degree, the only job I could get was as a secretary. Getting an undergrad degree seemed like a waste of time, so I applied to masters programs at several big name schools and, based on life experience, got into nearly all of them. (I chose Wharton because it was a “numbers” school and I knew I couldn’t BS my way through …) I learned that sometimes you can bend the rules, if you’ll just ask.
6. When I lived in Europe after Wharton, people would ask what my parents had left me. (They both died when I was in my early 20s.) It seemed like a crazy question, because “inheritance” wasn’t part of our culture. But my answer was “Something no one can take away from me: good brains, a good education, a good work ethic and the belief that I can do anything I set my mind to.” And that has turned out to be true.
7. When I lost my home and my business in 2001, right after 9/11, I knew I had to shrink down to the smallest footprint possible (while still staying safe) so I could rebuild my life quickly. I walked away from the perfect house with perfect gardens in the perfect neighborhood. (AKA the American Dream) With the little money I had, I bought a double-wide mobile home on a Florida lake and spent the next year tearing it apart and rebuilding it myself, using everything I had learned watching HGTV. But to make that move okay in my head, I had to let go of what “they” would think or say. One day I realized “they” would not be paying any of my bills or supporting me in retirement. Suddenly, that made letting go of the “they” real easy in every aspect of my life.

My 15 Bloggers

It was so hard to name just 15 bloggers, because I am surrounded by so many great ones. So I decided to choose those whose topics and/or talents inspire me or make me think. (And to remove any perceived ranking, I’ve listed them alphabetically.)

* Carolyn Hughes of The Hurt Healer for reminding us of the power of healing and redemption when it comes to addictions.

* Caryl and Maryl of Second Lives Club for providing women with a place to tell their stories of reinvention.

* Claudia Looi of Travel Writing Pro for sharing the sights and tastes of every country she and her family visit.

* Danielle LaPorte of Danielle LaPorte for always giving me another reason to light little fires deep in my soul.

* Danny Brown of Danny Brown for the “human-ness” he brings to everything he looks at.

* David and Veronica of The Gypsy Nester for sharing their worldly “Celebrating Life after Kids” adventures.

* Dianna Bonny of Living On the Fault Lines for being brave enough to share the after effects of suicide in the family.

* Gina Homolka of Skinny Taste for keeping my taste buds excited.

* Glenda Watson Hyatt of Do It Myself for insisting that life is normal, even when it isn’t. And for having so much courage and grace.

* Jonathan Mead of Paid to Exist for his take-no-prisoners commitment to authenticity (warning: can sometimes be pretty “in-your-face”).

* Kim Garst of Kim Garst for being my ultimate “go to” expert on social media.

* Marvia Davidson of The Human Impulse for her unique word choices when her poetry looks at life.

* Nancy Tierney of Firecracker Communications for the vibrant (and motivating) way she approaches content creation.

* Rob Schultz of Profit Seduction for being one of the brightest marketers I know.

* Stanley Kahng of Remixto for always reminding me of why I need to move to somewhere South of the Border real soon.

So there they are: my 15 named bloggers. I hope you’ll click through to their blogs to see what’s so special.

And be sure to let me know in the Comments section below if you discovered any bloggers who inspire you or make you think!

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Bio: Sharon O’Day fixes financial lives. She is a tell-it-like-it-is money expert with a successful career in global finance, plus an MBA from the Wharton School. Today she specializes in getting entrepreneurial women over 50 back on their game so they can have more money, less stress and more joy. With her “Over Fifty and Financially Free” strategies, they take actions that lead to their ultimate goal: financial  peace of mind.

The post Kudos and Life Lessons: The Versatile Blogger Award appeared first on Money expert, personal money mentor, financial independence, women and money.

We’ve all got them.

They’re the beliefs we’ve accumulated around money that mess with how we handle it. Most were absorbed unknowingly from how we heard and saw our parents (and other authority figures) react to situations involving money.

And I recently wrote a series of articles about those beliefs that fall into the general grouping of “those behaviors that push money away.” (The other two groupings are “those behaviors that pull money towards us” and “those behaviors that affect how we relate to the people around us.”)

So how do we know if we have any?

A List of Beliefs

Well, here’s a list of beliefs, or money gremlins. Maybe you could print it out. Then read through them thoughtfully and circle the ones that feel familiar. If something feels familiar, as if you might believe it, it could be one of your money gremlins.

• Money corrupts.
• Money is evil.
• I don’t deserve to have money.
• I shouldn’t make more money than my father (or mother).
• People who have money are “bad” and people who are poor are “good.”
• Most rich people got their money illegally or through inheritance, and didn’t do anything to deserve it.
• Money destroys all worthwhile relationships.
• If I mix money with my passion, it will taint that passion.
• I shouldn’t spend money on myself; it’s selfish or extravagant, or both.
• It’s not Christian (or another religious group) to care about money.
• If I have lots of money, I’ll be just like those other rich people I don’t like.
• You have to choose between love and money; you can’t have both.
• If I have money, I won’t know if someone loves me for myself or for my money.
• Money from an inheritance or insurance shouldn’t be enjoyed because it’s like blood money.
• If I live life by the rules, I don’t have to worry about money.
• It’s virtuous to live on very little.
• I shouldn’t have any more money than what I really need.
• I can’t trust anyone with my money.
• My net worth is a reflection of my self worth.
• All forms of investment today are somehow a scam.
• Any money I didn’t earn isn’t really mine.

If any of those statements resonate with you, you could be dealing with one of the many forms of money avoidance, as defined by Brad Klontz, Psy.D., and Ted Klontz, Ph.D., in their book Mind Over Money. This is where dealing with money is avoided on a regular basis by ignoring it, pushing it away, not spending it and assigning an unhealthy fear of risk to it.

More Information on Those Beliefs

To understand those beliefs better, you might want to read one or more of my recent articles on avoiding money:

• If you’re someone who tends to passively ignore the existence of money, you’re a Money Denier. Read Money Denial: Pretending Money Doesn’t Exist
• If you tend to push money away from you, you’re a Money Repeller. Read Repelling Money: Pushing Money Away
• If you allow money to flow in, but won’t let any of it flow out, you’re an Underspender. Read Underspending: Are You Pinching Pennies So Tightly They Bleed?
• If you’re so afraid of losing your money that you won’t invest or save it smartly, you’re a Risk Averter. Read Risk Aversion: Playing It Too Safe With Money

It’s easy to identify behaviors for your friends and enemies, or loves and ex-loves, because you’re using your conscious mind—free of emotion—to make your evaluations.

Finding your own behaviors will be a bit more challenging because they’ve operated automatically and unconsciously for so long. What will really help is if you can turn off the little critical voice in your head, the one that tends to blame you for absolutely anything that isn’t perfect. Pretend you’re able to step outside of yourself, as if you’re looking in matter-of-factly. Without judgment or criticism.

Other Possible Money Gremlins

And in case you find very few of those beliefs that resonate with you, don’t worry. You might find some in the other two general groupings of behaviors I’ll be presenting soon. These include:

o Worshiping Money, or Praying at the Altar of the Almighty Dollar, where materialism feeds an obsession over spending or accumulating money—or possessions—and, in turn, can result in hoarding, becoming a workaholic, taking too much risk, and spending excessively.

o Mixing Money and Relationships, or Who Used Money to Do What to Whom?, where relationships are affected by the use of money as a tool that builds distrust, results in unhealthy boundaries, and fosters the two sides of the same coin: the enabler and the enabled.

Let us know in the Comments section below if the list of beliefs helped you identify any belief you have about money that you never gave much thought to.

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Bio: Sharon O’Day fixes financial lives. She is a tell-it-like-it-is money expert with a successful career in global finance, plus an MBA from the Wharton School. Today she specializes in getting entrepreneurial women over 50 back on their game so they can have more money, less stress and more joy. With her “Over Fifty and Financially Free” strategies, they take actions that lead to their ultimate goal: financial  peace of mind.

The post Money Gremlins: 21 Beliefs That Could Be Messing With Your Money appeared first on Money expert, personal money mentor, financial independence, women and money.

The Horrors of Tipping

Another tipping faux pas?

You’re taking an important potential client to dinner at a restaurant you’ve only read about: top class. And you know it’s going to impress the client, by its reputation alone. The maitre d’ greets you and walks you both to your table. He tells you your waiter will be right over to help you. After you’ve both selected your meals and you mention wanting a wine, the waiter says, “Here, let me bring the sommelier over to help you select the perfect wine.”

The script that’s running in the back of your mind is “Who do I tip what? How do I not look like a fool? Was I supposed to slip a $50 to the maitre d’? (You’ve seen them do that in the movies.) And when do I tip the sommelier?”

Tipping has probably caused more discomfort, even if only for a few moments, than any other financial transaction we handle on a regular basis. The pregnant pause as the bell captain plays with the air conditioner knobs in the room he just brought your suitcases to. The pizza delivery guy who hesitates a few extra seconds to see if you really want the change from the $20 you handed him.

We grow up hearing some rules about how to tip, and figure we’re okay in those particular situations. But what about all the rest we didn’t learn? And are those rules even right?

My Tipping Screw-Ups

I was shocked recently to read an article that told me my whole philosophy of tipping was wrong! There are many people who I’ve regularly over-tipped—all my life. But far worse than that, there are whole categories who I haven’t tipped at all!

Tim Urban of “Wait But Why” wrote an article called Everything You Don’t Know About Tipping. He worked in the service industry, so had a basic understanding, but went on to survey “waiters, bartenders, baristas, manicurists, barbers, busboys, bellmen, valets, doormen, cab drivers, restaurant delivery people, and even some people who don’t get tipped …”

Tim also called upon the impressive knowledge of tipping expert Wm. Michael Lynn, especially regarding the different tipping practices by customer demographics: age, gender, race, religion, etc.

The most important lesson I learned was that tips are not moneys that supplement a limited, but reasonable, salary for service providers. To learn that waiters count on tips for 85-100% of their income makes me cringe at the times the service was bad enough for me to leave little or no tip.

Here’s more: for restaurant delivery people, tips make up 30-70% of their income. For bartenders, it’s 70-100%. For the hotel bellman, it’s 50-75%.

I’ve taken the liberty of condensing Tim Urban’s terrific “Tipping Statistics” table, but be sure to check his article out for more detail. Here I list: service provider, low-to-high tip range and what percent of income comes from tips.

• Waiter: under 17% to over 20% of tab, makes up 85-100% of income.
• Restaurant Delivery: under $2 to $4 or 20% of tab, makes up 30-70% of income.
• Restaurant Takeout: $0 to 10-20% of tab, makes up negligible amount of income.
• Bartender: per beer or drink, under 15% to over 20% of larger tabs, makes up 70-100% of income.
• Barista: $0 to $1 or more, makes up 20-40% of income.
• Cab Driver: under 10% to over 18%, makes up 15-30% of income.
• Valet Guy: $1 to $5 or more, makes up 50-75% of income.
• Hotel Bellman: $2-5 (total) to $4-5 per bag, makes up 50-75% of income.
• Apartment Doorman: $20-50 to $100-500 at Christmas, makes up 10-20% of income.
• Hair/Nail Salon or Barbershop: under 15% to over 25% of tab, makes up 25-50% of income.

By the way, tips are calculated on the pre-tax amount of the bill, in case taxes are charged.

What Determines How Well to Tip?

According to the service providers themselves, certain factors should be used in determining how well to tip a person. (And not the old guidelines we’ve been carrying around in our heads for generations.) Those factors are:

• How much time the person spent assisting you. For example, for bartenders, snapping open a beer versus making complicated cocktails.
• How much effort the person put out to serve you. For example, for food delivery, how far the person had to drive … and even whether it was raining or not!
• If it’s a “tipped profession,” which U.S. employers have translated into transferring the payment burden from the employer to the customer. Waiters and bartenders make $2-5 an hour, closer to $2, so your tips are critical.
• The service you actually received. Sounds logical, but those surveyed said the “set percentage in the mind” actually overrides quality of service all too often.

Tipping Abroad

For those of us who travel internationally, this is important enough to be the topic of a whole other article.  Magellan used to provide a World Tipping Guide that made clear that Americans are some of the most generous tippers. That’s probably because the U.S. service industry has created that expectation by paying lousy salaries to its service staff.  My most important tip?  Look and see if the tip is already on the bill, which is the case in many countries.  And go from there.

P.S. About the Maitre d’ and the Sommelier

As for the fine-dining restaurant situation we started with, the maitre d’ is usually only tipped if he provides some exceptional service, like finding a table when there are no tables available. Also, as the person in charge of the “front of house,” if the entire dining experience was exceptionally orchestrated, a tip can be appropriate. (But, of course, only after the meal.) Otherwise, he gets part of the waitstaff tips at the end of the night. As for the sommelier, she gets 15-20% of the wine bill if she was especially helpful in selection and serving. (If you tip the sommelier, you calculate the waiter’s tip on the food only.)

Let us know in the Comments section below if there are situations where you’re unsure about tipping service providers.

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Bio: Sharon O’Day fixes financial lives. She is a tell-it-like-it-is money expert with a successful career in global finance, plus an MBA from the Wharton School. Today she specializes in getting entrepreneurial women over 50 back on their game so they can have more money, less stress and more joy. With her “Over Fifty and Financially Free” strategies, they take actions that lead to their ultimate goal: financial peace of mind.

The post The Horrors of Tipping: What No One Ever Told Me appeared first on Money expert, personal money mentor, financial independence, women and money.

You’re having your regular lunch out with three friends.  Someone mentions that the stock market continues to climb.  One of your friends says, “No way would I put my money in the stock market.  It’s a pure crap shoot.”

The topic shifts to a really well-priced coaching program where people are getting a great return on their investment.  And the same friend pipes up, “Not me, I’m not investing in that sort of thing.  I’ll build my business without it.”

You may be lunching with a classic Risk Averter.  Someone with an irrational need to avoid taking risk at any cost and who reacts to risk with enormous anxiety.  Whereas being conservative with money can be good, being overly conservative to the point of paralysis means lost opportunity.

This aversion does not come from a lack of will or of information, nothing that rational.  Instead, it comes from subconscious forces that are deeply rooted in our past, often without us being aware.

Risk aversion, or investment caution taken to extremes, is one of the twelve classic money behaviors. Of the three general categories these behaviors fall under (pushing money away, pulling it towards you, and using it to mess up relationships), this is in the first category.

Instead of:

• passively ignoring the existence of money as a Money Denier would, or
• pushing money away as a Money Repeller would, or
• allowing money in but not back out as an Underspender would,

a Risk Averter is so concerned about the potential for loss that she does not allow her money to pay her the dividends it could—with minimum risk.  This behavior precludes the lifestyle she could otherwise afford.

Where Does This Risk Aversion Come From?

Excessive risk aversion comes from observing authority figures in our early years, as we try to figure out how the world works.  It will typically come from events that registered as traumatic and emotionally powerful, whether they truly were or not.  That’s how we remember them.

It could be anxiety coming from our parents or what seems like ominous adult comments taken out of context.  A family bankruptcy that results in life disruptions.  Visible losses from a major investment.  Or even the impact of a gambling parent.

Historically, periods that generated waves of risk-averse people followed the Crash of 1929, the 1990s Dot-Com bubble burst and the economic tsunami of 2008.  The disruption in the lives of affected adults and children left its psychological mark.

A few things predispose us to risk aversion.  First, people are by nature afraid of loss.  For example, losing $100 has about twice the impact on us as winning $100, according to research studies.

Next, something called the “endowment effect” increases the value in our eyes of anything we own.  And this greater value makes us that much more reluctant to give it up, hence our risk aversion.

Lastly, humans prefer the status quo, or for things to stay as they are. So it’s natural to resist anything that changes the current state of affairs.

Telltale Signs of an Risk Averter

Who do you know who has tens of thousands of dollars sitting in a bank account—or even under a mattress—because she’s afraid of losing it if she invests it?  (Granted, the generous returns of pre-2008 traditional investment vehicles are harder to find these days. But her hesitation comes from fear, not from lack of excitement.)

What about the woman who talks incessantly about the bad deal she got when her portfolio lost 30% of its value in 2008.  And how she’d never reinvest what’s left to capture the upswing as the stock market recuperated and blew right past the old record highs?

Forget about your entrepreneur friend—or maybe you—who understands the role of risk and its management.  (Risk aversion and entrepreneurs don’t mix.)

Your entrepreneur friend feels the rush of endorphins as risk levels rise and “possibilities” come into play.  Your risk-averse friend will feel heart palpitations instead.

If you know anyone stockpiling food, water and bullets for when some catastrophe causes “life as we know it” to end, do you think risk aversion and fear of loss could be playing a role?

Someone’s choice of profession can also offer telltale signs of their risk profile.  Accountants and librarians are unlikely risk takers.  But hedge-fund managers are actually professional risk takers.  They are far less emotionally attached to what they’re trading than a private individual would be.  For the individual, money feels far more real–and irreplaceable.

Where Risk Aversion Leads

Not all risk taking is good, of course.  It depends upon so many factors.  But a woman who shuns taking any risk at all with her money is functioning under another form of “money rejection.”  Out of fear of loss, she will miss opportunities to make her money grow, regardless of how safe the application might be.  As a result of inaction, her money will likely lose intrinsic value due to inflation.  Or she’ll simply fail to maximize her wealth.

When old messaging kicks in about how “risky” a financial behavior might be, the resulting anxiety, fear or shame will trigger a sense of imbalance.  The natural reaction is to get rid of that awful feeling by acting at the opposite extreme to silence the anxiety, fear and shame.

In the process, perfectly acceptable levels of investment risk (say with a balanced, well-allocated stock portfolio) that offer competitive returns are pushed aside.

Money, whether hard-earned or not, is left to languish — losing value in the face of inflation.  And growth opportunities are lost.

Some confuse Risk Averters with Underspenders, but here is the difference.  The Underspender allows money to come in, but she won’t spend it easily.  That doesn’t mean that she won’t invest it, because she sees an investment as being money that is still hers.

On the other hand, a Risk Averter may be willing to spend money a little more freely, but has an emotional aversion to trusting “critical” money to third parties because she only sees the potential loss, not the possible gain.

In the end, at their extremes, they are both forms of pushing money away.  For the Risk Averter in particular, by not managing her relationship with money she “risks” having fewer resources and niceties to enjoy in her life.

Note: This is the fourth of a series of twelve articles, identifying each of the classic money behaviors that trip women up and keep them from controlling their money—and their life.  If any of these behaviors feel familiar, be sure to stay connected with me on Facebook so you can continue on this exploration.

And let us know in the Comments section below if you know anyone who fits this profile of a classic Risk Averter.

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Bio: Sharon O’Day fixes financial lives. She is a tell-it-like-it-is money expert with a successful career in global finance, plus an MBA from the Wharton School. Today she specializes in getting entrepreneurial women over 50 back on their game so they can have more money, less stress and more joy. With her “Over Fifty and Financially Free” strategies, they take actions that lead to their ultimate goal: financial peace of mind.

The post Risk Aversion: Playing It Too Safe With Money appeared first on Money expert, personal money mentor, financial independence, women and money.

Some women you know are earning decent money and yet they seem to live like paupers.  You know they’re not burdened with debts.  They don’t spend on clothes and they drive old cars.  They have no one siphoning off their money or ex-husbands they have to support.  To your knowledge they don’t have any costly bad habits.  So where is their money going?

What you may well be looking at is a classic Underspender:  someone who has somehow come to believe that spending money is unsafe.  In short, this behavior can be based on feelings of fear or anxiety, or simply the uncomfortable need to be self-sacrificing.  No matter how much money she actually has, she is loath to spend any of it, including on herself.  She keeps herself emotionally poor.

Underspending, or “frugality taken to extremes,” is one of the twelve classic money behaviors. Of the three general categories these behaviors fall under (pushing money away, pulling it towards you, and using it to mess up relationships), this is in the first category.

Instead of passively ignoring the existence of money as a Money Denier would or pushing money away as a Money Repeller would, an Underspender pays close attention to money and allows it in.  But she doesn’t allow it back out.  This behavior affects her lifestyle, often to the extreme of affecting her relationships, health and well-being.

Where Does This Underspending Come From?

Probably the best known Underspenders were the people who were raised during the Great Depression—or their children—because the impact was so great it lasted several generations.  We’ve all heard stories of grandmothers who never got beyond living bare-bone existences or news reports of octogenarians who were discovered to have fortunes despite living like paupers.

Underspending can be witnessed among displaced populations such as Japanese-Americans who were interned during World War II. More recently we think of the Cubans who fled Cuba after the arrival of Fidel Castro or the Syrians whose country has been shredded before their very eyes.  Any dispossessed peoples—and that list is endless.

But the disruption doesn’t need to be that dramatic for it to result in underspending.  Because of a child’s lack of perspective in the early years, events that would otherwise be processed and forgotten can take on a disproportionate importance.  A temporary reversal of the family’s finances, for example, can lead to a fear of financial ruin, or bankruptcy, no matter how much money she actually has as an adult.

Interestingly, we may be in the process of creating a whole new generation of Underspenders. This would come out of all the children whose lives were changed drastically by the job loss of one or both parents—or by the loss of the place they called “home” due to a foreclosure—as a result of the financial tsunami of 2008.

Another form of underspending can result from deep-seated money patterns that were adopted consciously.  The decision to live very frugally in order to save for retirement is admirable if it is going to result in peace of mind and enjoyment in later years.  Yet after living that way for enough years, some women have difficulty enjoying the fruits of their efforts once they reach their financial target—and retirement age.  By then, the fear of landing on the streets as a bag lady can be so strong that they can never spend the money they saved.  As a result, they might be eating unhealthily, not getting adequate medical care and avoiding getting the physical help they need as they age.

Telltale Signs of an Underspender

Look at a woman who you know has money and yet avoids going to doctors or dentists because she “hates to spend the money.”  Or who squints to read, knowing her eyesight is changing, but won’t change her prescription because eye doctors and glasses are expensive.

An Underspender may also let her house go to ruin, not paying for basic repairs such as leaky faucets or roofs, despite knowing full well that she’s destroying her asset by doing so.

You might see her piggybacking on you by joining you at lunch and not picking up her fair share of the tab.  Or she might leave a miserly tip.  She might even eat part of her meal and then complain to the waiter that it wasn’t good and have it removed from the bill.  (Have you ever thrown a few extra bucks on the table to compensate, so the waiter won’t suffer from a friend’s stinginess?)

Whenever someone is providing her with a service, she’ll complain about that service so she can negotiate a better price on the bill.  Or she’ll return an item that she’s used to get her money back.  She might purchase an online program from you. Then she’ll copy it or somehow get the benefit from it and return it before the money back guarantee has expired, giving some lame excuse.

You would call her a cheapskate.  Or a miser.  Or just plain miserable.  But don’t confuse her with someone who is being thrifty simply to get out of debt or to reach a particular financial goal.  Some women may choose to live a modest lifestyle.  This is a healthy way for them to manage their resources, to make the most of what they have and to catch up on savings if they feel they’ve started late.

The difference is that in the case of an Underspender, she’s not behaving that way out of choice.  It physically pains her to spend her money.

Granted, some women have some of these traits because they’re just miserable people, not because of any psychological damage received while they were children, or since then.

Where Underspending Leads

Underspenders are somewhat difficult to help.  Rather than see anything wrong with their behavior, they take pride in their thrift.  What they don’t see is that they have pushed thrift to an extreme.  Here it is actually resulting in deprivation: not only depriving them of life’s joys, but also of basic self care.  They may accrue wealth as a result of their underspending, but it’s not wealth that will serve them in any way.

This is another form of pushing money away, one that denies them the enjoyment that money could bring.  The result is a life lived as “emotionally poor.”

Note: This is the third of a series of twelve articles, identifying each of the classic money behaviors that trip women up and keep them from controlling their money … and their life.  If any of these behaviors feel familiar, be sure to stay connected with me on Facebook so you can continue on this exploration.

And let us know in the Comments section below if you know anyone who fits this profile of a classic Underspender.

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Bio: Sharon O’Day fixes financial lives. She is a tell-it-like-it-is money expert with a successful career in global finance, plus an MBA from the Wharton School. Today she specializes in getting entrepreneurial women over 50 back on their game so they can have more money, less stress and more joy. With her “Over Fifty and Financially Free” strategies, they take actions that lead to their ultimate goal: financial  peace of mind.

The post Underspending: Are You Pinching Pennies So Tightly They Bleed? appeared first on Money expert, personal money mentor, financial independence, women and money.