Shauna's Life In Pain...And Other Fun Things

Any Readers Requests?

noreply@blogger.com (Shauna) — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 04:58:00 +0000

Well, it's a new year, another one added on to the 2000's, which only serves to further mess up my mathematical abilities when trying to count from events in the 1990's, till the present day. Am I alone on this issue? I scored 100% in Pharmacology; for as soon as I could put something meaningful into the algebraic equations (that alone, had stumped me) everything suddenly made sense. But to simply figure how long it's been since something that happened in, say, 1964; well for me, that = Blank! I got a bit lost when we entered the millennium.

But put a medication equation in front of me, and I am all set!

Happy New Year, and I hope that all my friends are doing AWAP. (As Well As Possible) Enjoy this years writings; I still have a lot to say! ;-) I am happy and yet slightly disturbed that I have been writing this blog for 4 years (in March) and only disturbed because the time passes much too swiftly. Started it in 2008. (I can do that math just fine.)

I would like to ask if any readers have a subject they would like me to tackle. I plan on revisiting some subjects I have written on before, and I would like to bring a bit of fresh light onto them. But if you have something you would like researched, studied, and brought to this blog, I would love to hear from you!

Gentle Hugs as always------<3

Professionals on Medication

noreply@blogger.com (Shauna) — Fri, 30 Dec 2011 00:25:00 +0000

How would you feel if you knew that the police person that helped you out in a bad situation, who you were so grateful for being there; took pain medication on a chronic basis?

Would it matter to you?

On my last visit with my beloved Pain Management Physician, we discussed again the subject of his patients and the wide variety of people he treats. Treats with medications along with other modalities to help chronic pain. He had just seen a police officer that obviously carries a handgun, and is authorized to use a wide variety of forceful and deadly weapons.

I just love my doctor, he has not only treated me with the utmost of empathy and desire to truly help my life and spine get functional again, but he has always stood by my side if I need any kind of letter, or to speak to someone, when it comes to the issue of drug testing, employment barriers, etc. I think 'barrier' when thinking of drug testing, because we basically never know if that is a reason we are not getting the job. Illegal? Of course!! But we would never really know.

I feel that whatever my doctor recommends regarding medication is the absolute way to go. No arguments from me, although we do have lengthy conversations about my frustration of not being able at this time to work in nursing the way I want to, and how he values my knowledge as a healthcare professional, and my knowledge of medications, anatomy, physiology, etc., which always makes the visit easier. For both of us!!

Back to the professionals he treats. Myself included. Whether handling firearms, or nursing a patient back to health, my doctor makes sure that his professional patients (and of course, all other patients) are exactly where we need to be as far as that slight balance between taking medications for pain and being able to function just fine, and taking medications for pain and not being able to function. It is a very fine line, and what he does is an art.

Reminds me of how a Psychiatrist must balance people with medications. Find what works, what the patient has adverse reactions to, if the side effects are more than the benefit of the drug. Pain management is that balance also. Remove the horrid pain of a really wrecked spine, and still maintain a state of focus, being tolerant to a dosage, and not feel anything that affects the CNS. (Central Nervous System) In other words, his patients don't walk around feeling 'high', or unusually tired, or unable to focus. In those cases, he would not ok the patient to be at work if showing the signs of misuse.

Remember, compliance is the key for all patients in chronic pain management!! We have as much responsibility to our doctors, as we want them to be for us.

How would you feel if you knew that the nurse taking care of you or a family member took medications so they can function at work without extreme pain? Or my example at the top of a policeman? I am not saying that these examples are those professionals who choose to divert meds, or take them on the sly, or simply to get high. I am strictly speaking of ongoing pain management. Key word--management. A physician is correctly prescribing and managing all medication.

I would love to hear your thoughts!!!

Gentle Hugs.... and Stay strong ~just for today~

Disabled Parking--Do You Have a Choice?

noreply@blogger.com (Shauna) — Fri, 23 Dec 2011 06:15:00 +0000

I received a Disabled Parking Placard recently, and have it in my car always. But I rarely ever reach for it.

Why? Isn't that like a golden ticket? Especially in Southern CA, especially in the super busy Holiday season, and in general, this is the land of 'going in circles finding a parking spot'. But I just don't think that way.

I know a few people that would utilize that thing to death, and quickly. And they are not in the position of needing a wheelchair, or other assistive device. They just want the great parking spot. That is selfish. Of course I am not saying that without the need of an assistive device negates the need to park close to your destination. I never know when the day(s) will come that I have another surgery, or one of my 14 herniated discs slip just so, or one of the many Osteophytes grow just enough to completely impede the Dura of the spinal cord, or.........all rendering me unable to walk without extreme pain. Or, the possibility that I would not be able to walk at all.

Yet I am blessed to be able to choose to park in the Disabled spot, or a regular spot. Oh, I'm blessed. Absolutely. When I write about my experience of pain and levels of disability, I am constantly aware of the people who do not have a choice in using a parking placard. They must use it--every time, no choice. My heart goes out to these people; I am aware of just how close I came to being in the same position after I survived the rollover accident in high school.

Yet this happens to be my experience, and I am dealing with it like a present each day that is given to me. Just to have the choice to use my parking placard, is a gift. I choose not to use it as often as I possibly can.

If I am not in severe pain when out shopping, doing errands etc., then I park like everyone else. I challenge myself to walk that extra 2 rows of cars just to get more movement into my day. And there is plenty of movement, believe me! If I can do it, then I want to do it. And if something looks challenging, I will attempt it. But I am not stupid, I won't try and carry 3 12-packs of diet coke in my arms because I wasn't planning on getting them or needing a cart. Yes, I have done all that stupid stuff. Now it's different as far as the physical movements I choose to put my spine through. I ask for help. I bring someone with me. I ask someone to pick it up for me.

Walking a bit farther by not parking in the Disabled spots is something I feel good about. I don't feel like I 'should' take up a spot that possibly a van with a wheelchair lift needs much more. That doesn't mean I will never use my parking sign, but as long as I CAN avoid using it, I will.

And again, I feel very blessed to even have that choice.

In the rollover accident I mention above and in my profile, I was in a large van on the floor in the very back, and the firemen said the back doors should have flown open as we rolled; if it wasn't for the wheelchair lift on the back doors. It saved my life, and also the other girl in the back with me. The driver's brother had MS, and through his life, mine was saved.

Ergo why I feel such indebtedness to those who are in chairs? I may never know--but one more thing. Make eye contact with someone in a chair. I have worked with patients who were dealing with facing life in a chair, and the #1 saddest 'complaint' from them was that: "People don't look at me; they are afraid they would be accused of staring....I just want them to act normal, and say Hi or Good Morning". Look down, look at the people who spend their lives in a wheelchair, include them in this world of standing. I know a few personally in a chair and the issue of most people not really looking right at them has come up over and over. Say a cherry Merry Christmas to these brave people, along with the person standing next to you.

Happy Holidays to all and a fantastic New Year!!!!

2012 looks absolutely divine!!! ;)

Gentle Hugs.... and Stay strong ~just for today~

Medical Marijuana and Chronic Pain

noreply@blogger.com (Shauna) — Sun, 11 Dec 2011 23:09:00 +0000

Have you experienced pain relief from Medical Marijuana? Are you curious about if MMJ may work for you?

Just as I was preparing to publish this on the subject of the benefits of MMJ in the treatment of Chronic Pain, my inbox brought me an interesting study performed by University of California San Francisco.

Titled: 'UCSF STUDY FINDS MEDICAL MARIJUANA COULD HELP PATIENTS REDUCE PAIN WITH OPIATES', of course this immediately stopped me, and I am including sections of this study in an overview of the uses of MMJ and its place in conjunction with opiates as treatment of Chronic Pain.

Before addressing the study subject, I want to focus on the idea of using Medical Marijuana for the treatment of Chronic Pain. Not acute pain (pain that comes on suddenly, violently, as in a migraine, or the pain of a broken bone, a burn, or other causes of sudden pain.) but daily pain. This use of MMJ in chronic pain is not new, and it is legal in selected other states across the country. I live in California, I am a native, and in 1996, this great State passed Proposition 215.

Proposition 215 (HS 11362.5) was passed in 1996 by a 56% majority of California voters in November 1996. That is more California votes than Presidents Clinton, Bush or most other elected official have received.
These allow the compassionate use of Marijuana when recommended by a licensed Medical Doctor, and the patient may purchase Medical Marijuana from Collectives that may legally sell MMJ to the patients.

I have suffered with pain on a daily basis for the past 16 years. Every single day. Pain. In various levels. All day long sometimes. Experiencing pain in this manner has affected me greatly; at the level of understanding exactly what I will allow to happen in life, and what I will not stand for. I refuse to stand silently off to the side, or lay in bed crying for myself because of my pain experience. This has changed my thinking about many issues in life, from the sublime to the mundane.

I have always been an independent thinker, with a Liberal mind and a Nurses heart. I smoked marijuana in High School, I was a child of the 60's and 70's, and most of our teachers and professors were also enjoying marijuana, making it a bit hard to enforce any kind of anti-drug movement. (That didnt start until Nancy's Regan's "Just Say No" campaign in the 1980's.)

If a person desires to lower their experience of their pain, I see absolutely nothing wrong with looking to Medical Marijuana for relief. And not only does MMJ help the pain itself, MMJ can relieve the mental heaviness of bearing this weight all day. This 'heaviness' can contribute to profound depression, which is fueled by the ongoing, daily pain battle.

It's a scary place to be, that depression. Alone, Clinical Depression is a Bear to bear. Imagine dealing with pain every moment of life, knowing there is nothing more to be 'done' for it, and tell me that is anything but depressing. Chronic Pain and Depression go hand in hand, and I personally know many pain patients that medicate either by themselves, or are on anti-depressants to treat the depression. Or both.

Not a drinker anymore (yes, me, the wine afficianado!) I can stand maybe a sip or two before I run for my diet coke. Ergo, no drinking for self-medication for me. I am taking prescribed medications for my severe Thoracic Spine pain, and the Severe Muscle Spasms that accompany the pain. I am a compliant patient, I am given leeway by my pain doctor, who knows me very well, respects my knowledge as a nurse, and as a patient that attempts to push just a little harder in my physical abilities, so he knows I am a serious patient. I am willing to do whatever it takes to feel better, stronger, and be in less pain. I don't take the meds I am prescribed lightly. I see them on the street for sale, and marvel at who could get a prescription of that medication and turn around and simply get rid of it. What I marvel at is the fact they truly don't need the pain relief, yet they were able to obtain such a strong narcotic.

I tend to get quite pissed off at the people that make it harder for us 'real' patients, to obtain the needed medications for our pain. But guess what? THAT will never stop, so the most a pain patient can do to help this situation is to be compliant with your treatment, and honest with your pain doctor. If a pain patient finds they want to try MMJ for their chronic pain, this should be talked over with their pain doctor.

The doctor that prescribes your pain meds may not be the same one that gives a recommendation for the use of MMJ; however, keep your Pain doctor informed of the use of MMJ. You may notice you need less of your 'traditional' medications if you use MMJ!! How great is that? Your pain doctor will want to know how MMJ affects your pain, spasms, and depression. Also, your quality of sleep should be assessed at each appointment with your pain doctor. MMJ has been found to be extremely helpful in the treatment of insomnia; another familiar problem in the lives of Chronic Pain patients.

Whether to treat the actual pain of chronic pain, or to treat the depression, muscle spasms, and a myriad of other issues, MMJ has been shown to reduce both the pain--via the pain receptors, and the sadness and apathy that can strike a person with chronic pain.

In my eyes, MMJ is a natural, God-given medication that is finally being recognized properly in the treatment of pain, by the Medical Community. This is not about smokin a joint so you and your friends can laugh for 20 minutes straight. (Nothing wrong with that.) This is about trying to find anything that will lessen the pain. Anything. I mean we have tried Buckwheat pillows, peppermint rubs and wraps in seaweed and mud, taken plenty of pills, (totally man made) worn magnets, had Radio-frequency treatments to burn nerves, had hot stones placed on our skin, been rubbed with honey and alcohol, and had our spines fine-tuned with drills and instruments that look like the same scary weapons in the horror flicks I love.

Where does Medical Marijuana fall in this picture of attempts at pain relief?

Continued next is a focus on the UCSF study of how MMJ affects those that take Opiates for Chronic Pain.

You may be pleasantly surprised at the outcomes!!!

Gentle Hugs....

Fashion In Pain

noreply@blogger.com (Shauna) — Mon, 28 Nov 2011 09:15:00 +0000

Does your closet reflect how you feel inside?? Can you wear anything you'd like to? Or has your personal fashion-sense been stifled?

You want to wear those darling boots with the buckles, but they are 2 1/2 inch heels. You still love your unique taste, and want to express yourself. Does your body say otherwise?

I had a funeral (of sorts) for my beautiful high heels recently. Well, most of them. I look back to the days I could wear 3 inch heels for work all day long while traveling Southern CA setting up promotions for Shiseido Cosmetics, and only had to deal with the 'normal' my feet hurt after a long day sensation.

Now, if I wore high heels for more than about a half-hour, my spine would be thrown dramatically out of alignment, instant and severe muscle spasms begin immediately; the awkward position of the spine when wearing high heels, is possibly causing more pain!!

I was bummed to have to get rid of the very shoes that only serve to do all great things: They make my legs look better, longer, they give them a nice shape, and also are considered sexy by some. I just like the way they look. I like the fashion of a short boot with a high heel. They are so cute, dressed up with my new leg warmers I discovered makes for a fun look. But what does it do to my pain and comfort levels? Nothing good, that's for certain. When it hurts like you had walked from CA to NY in them, that is not very realistic. (And I mean your back is hurt, not your feet.)

Oh, great. Comfort. Comfortable shoes. Good for your spine, or at the least, not contributing to increased pain levels. Comfortable shoes--sorry, but it brings to mind black waitress shoes, or maybe I should start wearing my prized nursing shoes around town.

Where is the line drawn for comfort, yet satisfy a gal who loves fashion? I understand this subject is not strictly about spinal pain with higher heels, it also covers those who may not be able to have fabric touch certain parts of the body, needing altered clothing to cover scars or other issues, those who have to deal with club foot and just finding shoes at all that do not cause extreme pain, on and on. Of course here I am focusing on the spine.

My back surgeries left scars on the Thoracic spine; T5 to about T12. The placement of them was excellent and after time has passed they are hardly noticeable, unless standing right behind me. I wear sundresses a lot in the summer, backless, exposing my back scars. I don't care one bit, and it has even started conversations when I am in line, and the person behind me asks about the scars.

I suppose it is shoes that is my only real fashion issue....I have come to love flats, or a very small heel with a platform either inside the shoe or a regular platform, which helps distribute the weight and helps stop that unnatural pitch forward that comes with regular heels. I found some cute suede boots that are slouchy, and flat. Comfortable, and easy to pull on.

Do you have issues with your spine, or other areas that are affected by what you are wearing? What do you do to try and cover both bases of being fashionable, and of wearing clothes and shoes that don't contribute to more pain? I would love to hear your fashion tips!!

Gentle Hugs.... and Stay strong ~just for today~

Understanding Medical Terminology on Prescriptions

noreply@blogger.com (Shauna) — Fri, 11 Nov 2011 00:19:00 +0000

The last post I wrote concentrated on knowing and learning what must be on a security (and all other) prescriptions. If you know what to look for, what must be filled and completed on the prescriptions, then you will save yourself time, energy, pain and actually make live easier for your pain specialist!

Now that you know what to look for on your prescriptions, let's concentrate on that 'chicken scratch' we call doctor's writing. What are all those little symbols, those strange, unknown signs that make up a prescription?

It is easiest to just go along the prescription, as it must be written, to help you learn how to read them.

First, is the name of the patient. Your birthdate, which can be filled in later at the pharmacy, no big deal. The Doctors information-- which is most likely pre-printed on the script. The date the prescription was written. And then the fun part......

Sig: Vicodin 10/325 mgs. PO Take 1 q 4*hrs. PRN #120 (NR)

Name of medication. Let's use Vicodin again.

Strength of medication. Here it is shown as 10/325. This means that you are prescribed 10 milligrams of Vicodin, or Hydrocodone, and 325 milligrams of Acetaminophen, or Tylenol. The TOP number is the Vicodin milligrams. The bottom number is the medication the Vicodin is mixed with, usually Tylenol, or some type of anti-inflammatory, such as Ibuprofen. Many people incorrectly state they are taking "Vicodin 500." They are actually taking 5 milligrams of Vicodin, and 500 milligrams of Acetaminophen written as Vicodin 5/500.

Route of medication. Written as PO (by mouth). I always remember this as 'Pass Orally'. (Have no idea at this moment if that is the root of this term, but it works for me.) You may also see: SL (Sub Lingual--under the tongue), TD (Trans-Dermal for patches.) Other routes, IM, SQ, IV, etc., is usually not used or seen on a direct patient's script. These would be orders that nurses work with. You will see PO on most of your prescriptions, as most medications are taken by mouth.

Directions of medication. The doctor is instructing you to take one every (q) four hours, (hours are usually written as a little symbol as you would use for the degrees of an oven temperature, the little circle up on the upper right side of the numbers.) On a script, we write the word every, always as a q, followed by the number of hours, then the 'degree mark'; which is right next to the number of hours. Other basic symbols used: o=Other, d=Day, i.e., qd=every day; qod=every other day.

What is PRN? If the doctor wants you to take the medication only when you NEED IT, you will see PRN written after the directions. If you need the Vicodin for pain, you take it every four hours. But this prescription is not one in which the doctor instructs you to take a medication every 4 hours, with no ability to only take it when you 'need' it. PRN meds are usually for pain medications, for the most part. Chronic pain patients may have PRN meds, as most must take medication round-the-clock to take care of the baseline pain, and any breakthrough pain meds may be written PRN, as patients have a medication to use only when they need it, or PRN, but still following the directions.

Quantity of medication. Here the patient is prescribed #120 pills. On security prescriptions, there is also a place to mark the number of pills prescribed.

Refills? Here the doctor has written NR, or No Refills. Most security prescriptions are not given refills.

Signature of Doctor.

**There may be written a separate date to FILL the medication at the bottom, if the patient is not to fill the med until written date. This may be in the instance of the doctor writing a script before the actual date to fill, and this would be noted at the bottom. It would be handwritten by the prescriber.

Learn how to 'decipher' the chicken scratch on your scripts, and understand exactly what they mean!!

Gentle Hugs.... and Stay strong ~just for today~

How to Read a Prescription

noreply@blogger.com (Shauna) — Fri, 04 Nov 2011 20:10:00 +0000

When you are given your prescription(s) to fill, it is important that you are able to check it, so as to make sure everything is done right and will not cause any hold-ups in getting filled.

We would think that Doctors will make sure to write the prescription correctly, however, we know that doctors are busy, they may be interrupted during the writing of an RX, and that one missed part of the prescription checklist will only send you back to the doctor's for a complete prescription.

Security prescriptions require that the patient turn them in by hand; these can not be called in. So let's go over what needs to be checked by the patient.

1. The prescribing doctors information.
2. Your name.
3. Your date of birth
4. Medication name (Example-Vicodin)
5. Medication dosage (milligrams)
6. Medication route (By mouth--PO)
7. Medication directions (Take one every 4hrs.)
8. Medication quantity (This is easily forgotten to be checked)
9. Refill information; (Security RX's do not allow refills)
9. Date (For fill)
10. Doctors Signature

Now after you have checked the above, make a double check of the exact dosage, directions, and quantity.

If the prescription was written in 'longhand', it would be on a longgggg prescription paper!! Becoming familiar with Medical-speak; i.e., those strange looking, hard to read scribbles, is a huge advantage for you to know.

So, lets go over some of the common 'shorthand' used in prescriptions:

Vicodin 10/325mg., PO, take one q 4, #120. This simply says the name of the medication, the dosage, the route, the directions, and the quantity These are the main 4 items to check on your prescriptions.

I am looking for a prescription example to put up, and will do so asap.

Hope this has let you learn about checking your prescriptions before they are filled. This ability will allow you to perform a final check before leaving your doctor's office with any prescriptions.

Gentle Hugs.... and Stay strong ~just for today~

A Flood of Ideas

noreply@blogger.com (Shauna) — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 06:59:00 +0000

There are so many subjects I want to touch on, and that am working on. For a change, they came in a swarm and have given me amazing things to learn about as I do the research.

Looking forward to sharing these ideas with you....

Happy Halloween......whatever that means....lol

Gentle Hugs.... and Stay strong ~just for today~

Protecting Yourself at the Pharmacy

noreply@blogger.com (Shauna) — Sun, 02 Oct 2011 01:48:00 +0000

How careful are you with the information you are asked to give at the pharmacy?

Whether turning in prescriptions, picking up the filled RX's, or simply talking to the Pharmacist or Pharmacy Techs about your issues revolving around your pain medications, we must be more aware of our surroundings. We need to be safe. Look around you to see if there are people that are within earshot of your conversation.

Many pharmacies ask for your address as verification that the person picking up the prescription is either the patient, or a family member that would know this information.

I personally would rather have them ask for ID. Too many people can hear you recite your address, note it down, and surreptitiously use that address to pick up medications under your name. Sometimes when they ask me for my address, I have a total mind blank, and either have nothing, or have the numbers all messed up. Wouldn't my ID be much safer? For both of us?

We need to protect our medications from being handed out to just anyone who happens to know the address. I have seen many people say loudly as they walk away from the pharmacy counter, that they 'will be back later to pick up those other prescriptions', sometimes even naming the mediation. If anyone is listening, paying attention to these seemingly mundane things, possible problems are looming. The shifts could have changed by the time she returns, and whoever it is that picks up prescriptions for so and so, simply gives the written down address, and walks out with someone else's meds.

I have spoken to my pharmacy about this issue, and although they say they haven't had problems with meds being picked up by others, they did agree that asking for ID would be a good step to implement. It may encroach upon some privacy issues in a negative way--as in the pharmacy then needing a list of authorized people to pick up your medications, and if you send a friend that is not on the list, you can see the potential problems.

Here are a few tips to remember the next time you fill your medications:

1. When turning in your prescriptions, talk in a soft voice, or go somewhere private as possible if discussing exactly what type of medication you are filling. This information is as confidential as your other medical information.

2. Keep an eye out around you. Make note of anyone seeming to listen to your conversation, and move away from them. You deserve privacy at the pharmacy. That is what all the HIPPA papers you are given regarding privacy is all about, and why there are now red lines for people to wait behind, to give the person being serviced the privacy they deserve as much as you.

3. When leaving your RX's with the pharmacy, make sure they have noted everything needed before leaving. This is where your own education comes into play. If you know how to read a prescription, and know what needs to be on it to be processed, you can save a lot of time checking this info BEFORE turning them in to be filled. (I will be writing about reading prescriptions next.)

4. Make sure you are near the phone the pharmacy has on file for you, in between dropping off your prescriptions, and going back at the designated time. If the pharmacy needs to get a hold of you during this time, it is very frustrating for them if you are not available, and will just slow down getting your medications filled.

5. Try to turn in your prescriptions on an earlier day of the week, rather than near the weekends. Most insurance companies do not work over the weekend as far as doing medication authorizations. You don't want your medications sitting around there not being filled--sometimes for days. As careful as pharmacies are, as serious as they are about our information and safety, it is possible to lose things. I like to hand in my RX's, wait there for them, and pick them up the minute they are ready.

6. After you have your medications in hand, and are leaving the pharmacy, pay attention again to your surroundings. There have been many instances of teams of people that are just waiting to distract you as you have the meds in hand, walking out of the pharmacy. Be careful! Be aware!! Make sure to check around you as you get into your car. Walk with authority. These medications are important to your pain management regime, and although a police report from a robbery will help you to get another prescription from your doctor, it is a long and tedious process. Better to be ultra-careful and safe, than unaware and in possible personal harm

YOU are more important than your medications!! If ever faced with the choice to hand over your bag or face something far worse, hand over the meds!! I know that is obvious. Just wanted to remind us all.

Gentle Hugs-----<3

The Beach, Trains, and BA's

noreply@blogger.com (Shauna) — Mon, 29 Aug 2011 23:43:00 +0000

Oh My Gosh. I just realized that I am looking at a campground on the beach that was a yearly trip destination for the summer, for the family of an old friend of mine. She was always allowed to bring a few girls from our Jr. High school, a big group of us that ended up staying extremely close through the school years. Most of them I have lost touch with, except for my best friend in the whole world, who has stuck by me (and I by her side) for 40 years, but the memories left behind so many years ago are being triggered, as I hear and see the train on the same tracks, coming this way.

The train hugs the coast in certain areas along it's path. Near the tracks there is a darling, old and beloved campground that is right on the beach; who knows, maybe my friends from long ago still camp there, this time with their own kids.

We were a bunch of out of control 13/14 yr. old girls. Curious, giddy, adventurous, and loud! We would lay out on the beach all day, talking, laughing, getting sunburned to the point of blistering, and we were all right back to the beach again the next day, slathering on more oil. Laying out, all in a line on our beach towels, we raised our heads up to see the train go by. There was nothing between the tracks and the beach at that time. Just sand. Oh, we just had to do something more with all this!

We came up with the brainiac idea of 'BA'-ing the train when it went by. No one would see our faces, and the beach was nearly deserted where we laid out. Sounded reasonable.

Oh that. You know, it's when a train passes by (the ones with people looking out the windows) and approx. eight 14 year old girls line up, and 'pull' a nice surprise for those weary travelers with our blinding white butts. I don't know if we imagined it at the time, but we were sure that we saw a few surprised faces.

Ah, to be 14 again. To have my only concern be, 'Will I get to the tracks in time for the next train to hang a BA with all my friends?' Fortunately that was 2 years before my rollover MVA and a huge life change for my body. I could run on the sand, do cheerleading routines with my friends by the shore. Now just thinking about running on the sand makes my spine hurt.

Oops, gotta go. The train's coming.

Gentle Hugs.... Stay strong~ ~just for today~

Chronic Babe Blog Carnival

noreply@blogger.com (Shauna) — Fri, 26 Aug 2011 01:18:00 +0000

Jenny Prokopy, founder and editrix of Chronic Babe, has unleashed a fantastic collection of posts in Chronic Babe's Blog Carnival #34.

Chronic Babe is a site where women gather for support, who deal with an illness daily; on a chronic basis. The focus is women who are living with a chronic illness; but who choose to be (or stay) a chronic babe. :)

I adore Jenny. Her positive and very honest attitude and dedication for life, for OUR lives, (all the babes that live with a chronic illness and love her site) is relentless and I admire the woman greatly. She's a motivational speaker, and freelance health writer. Plus she's got the most awesomely beautiful red hair!

Thanks Mz Jenn, for including my post, "Let's Talk About Sex". Hop on over to Chronic Babe and read a bit. Many great writers await your visit. Check out the bookstore, and shop for Chronic Babe gear too!! It's all really cute. For babes.

Gentle Hugs.... Stay strong~ ~just for today~

Sex and Intimacy With Chronic Pain

noreply@blogger.com (Shauna) — Tue, 09 Aug 2011 00:32:00 +0000

The comments above are all fantastic and bring the discussion I was hoping the post would produce. Each one of these women gave some insight as to what sex is like when living with chronic pain.

Mo, one of my fellow bloggers, and I am blessed to say is also my friend, made a great point in her comment to my last post, 'Let's Talk About Sex".

Mo wrote, "I love having sex with my husband. It is the only thing we share that no one else can have. It is ours, and ours alone."

Mo touches on the subject of intimacy. This is what my next post, in the subject of sex and chronic pain, was going to focus on. Another great point made was by Missy, another fellow blogger and one of my great online friends.

Missy wrote, "Not every chronic pain patient feels less pain after sex. Though during, if the body is fully engaged, yeah pain is lower. Some feel more." And: "Once my body calms down, (after sex) my pain is worse from the activity. This can last for a few hours to a few days."

Missy brings up a great point. One that hits close to home. Although the studies show pain is reduced from sex, the don't seem to follow the patient after the actual act. What happens two hours later? Or a day later? Pain that is triggered by sex and the positions asked of our bodies, can cause very high levels, for a lengthy amount of time, and this can stay in our memory bank as 'one of those things I don't want to do again because it causes a lot of pain, in both intensity and duration. Our bodies remember what caused a three-day marathon of pain!

But cut out sex completely? No way. Sex and intimacy with another human being is one of the greatest unions for us, creating a sense of well-being, our self-worth rises, our body image can go in a more positive direction, our depression lifts. But it hurts, right??

This is one of the strengths that those who live with pain, find deep inside, and 'pull it out' when needed most. I have had long-lasting pain from sex, three days later. I am finding lately (over the past 9 months) that this is another avenue for muscle strengthening. And not just Keigels. Every time I work muscles that aren't used much, or for prolonged periods of time, I find myself getting stronger and stronger. Physically. Which only serves to make having sex a more pleasurable time, when muscles are stronger, we can do more without the resounding pain following us for hours, or even for days.

TK wrote: " I figure I'm already in pain, so why avoid something so beautiful and wonderful? Some things are worth taking another pain pill and being up for several hours afterwards while you calm down the pain signals from your brain. There is a moment during sex where everything goes away, including the pain--or maybe not go away, but a distant awareness rather than a constant companion. There is only me and my partner and the flow of love."

Beautiful words, put together so nice! TK hits the nail on the head referring to the beauty of intimacy between two people. She knows what is going to happen (pain increase) she faces the issue and takes her medications, and she is in touch with herself and her body so well, that she transcends just the sex part, and moves into the beauty of intimacy. Anytime pain can be "a distant awareness rather than a constant companion", count me in!!!

Thanks to the ladies for their insightful words and kudos to each one for being honest, and sharing how they may deal with pain in their sex life. And above all else, the intimacy is what stuck out to me in each comment.

We need intimacy. We need that connection. Try to not let pain scare you away from joining with another person so deeply and beautifully. There are ways to get over that hump that may be scaring you from having sex. Maybe there was an experience when pain ruled the time together, when you felt like 'this is just not going to happen with any pleasure on my end.' And the sex stops before it even started.

FEAR. Let go of the fear, hang on to that person who wants to hold you close, let go of being frightened, having sex will not cause some horrible outcome most of the time, unless you are gettin really freaky. Even then, we may be astonished at what can be done as far as our bodies, during the deep state that we can find ourselves in, while being close to another.

The emails I received, asked to be kept private as far as the writer's names. They were all along the same lines as what most of the comments touched on.

We all need intimacy in our lives. Having pain does not need to stop us from this most beautiful experience. Keep your mind open, and TALK with your partner. Let them know what feels good, what hurts, what causes more pain than you can handle. Open communication is the KEY to any good sex life--but with chronic pain, we need to be as honest as we can be. This is not the time to keep quiet, be shy, or concerned that we will not be as attractive to our partners simply because we experience pain during sex.

We don't want to scare them wither! When the thought of causing more pain is in the mind of our partners, they can not hone in on enjoying themselves. Let them know how you feel about everything to do with sex with them.

Gentle Hugs.... Stay strong~ ~just for today~

Let's Talk About Sex

noreply@blogger.com (Shauna) — Sun, 24 Jul 2011 03:44:00 +0000

Over the three years plus I have been writing this blog, I haven't approached the subject--the very important subject--of sex, when you live with pain.

I imagine this will climb to the top of my most read posts, simply because it has the word 'sex' in the title.

Don't get too excited.

From a medical perspective, we are taught that it is healthy in many forms, to have a 'good' or 'normal' sex life. Sex helps relieve symptoms of depression. Sex raises the levels of natural endorphin's. Sex relieves stress. Sex boosts immunity. Sex burns calories. ( Thirty minutes of sex burns 85 calories or more.) Sex boosts self-esteem. Sex improves Cardiovascular health. Sex improves intimacy. Sex reduces Prostate Cancer risk. Sex helps you sleep better. Sex strengthens pelvic floor muscles. And my all time favorite: (No drum roll needed here).........

Sex Reduces Pain.

(All above statements are based on medical research and clinical studies performed.*)

So....something that is fun, enjoyable, with all those benefits, also reducing what we who live with Chronic Pain are challenged with every day, if that something is available to us; why wouldn't we hop right on that?

The answer is blended into the above. Sex reduces pain. Having pain affects the ability to want sex, and then have sex.

Think of the times that you have been in pain. What was on your mind? Was it daydreaming of the beautiful nurse that just came in to poke and prod you in embarrassing places? Thinking your wife outta get busy while you are hanging on the couch in pain from that fall at work? While you have a headache beating you on the head like a sledgehammer, you are normally not planning your next move with that cute guy at work.

Now imagine that you deal with that pain every single day of your life. Life goes on after that accident, the surgery, the fall, that month-long flu. And when pain is part of life, pain then mixes with every single aspect of our lives. Including, our sex lives.

The desire for sex is apparent when people feel their best. The prettiest, the most handsome. Feeling confident is not only a bonus of a great sex life, but it is also a necessary for that great sex life to happen!

Thinking about sex when living a life with pain is interesting. I am not saying it is interesting to think about sex if you also have Chronic Pain; instead, that the entire subject is interesting, and from what I have learned in my own life, and speaking to others in my situation (and of course to my wonderful friends) I think that those of us in pain ought to have just as satisfying of a sex life as the people who don't have pain. I am not going to focus on the negative that can happen in relationships sexually when dealing with pain.

I want to start a new way of thinking about ourselves ladies, (especially women-- but of course the men apply too here) who live with pain, and the way that we see ourselves in a sensual and sexual way. We shouldn't have to bow out of the play before it's over! We deserve to be thought of as the beautiful, strong, smart women that we are; with determination beyond understanding. I think that is sexy! But for that to happen, we need to feel that special something about ourselves, it is deep inside, every woman knows what I am talking about. That switch that can turn on and the pain can then fade into the background.

We don't have to be on the Mae West couch, with unreal expectations and maybe even a bit of fear. We simply need to be ourselves. For the challenges we are handed every day we open our eyes, is something that those who don't have pain like this, just can not understand, and to realize that "Today, again, I awake, and the first thing I feel is pain." our pain is a very big task we must attend to throughout the day. (Along with doing all the 'normal' things in life.) But we do all of it in pain. All of it. Including sex. (By the way, I am not judging or saying that is wrong to not understand what it's like to live with pain. It's impossible unless the person has experienced ongoing pain themselves.)

So, we are now feeling good about ourselves, seeing the strength and passion for living that we hold, and we are feeling sexy. But the back/neck/leg/head/arm hurts. A lot. We have the opportunity, we have the desire, and we have pain.

Now what do we do?

Next post will focus on feeling sexy, despite pain; and achieving a fulfilling sex life. This is a subject that we shouldn't hide under the rug or shy away from discussing. We have the right, the need, and the benefits to gain, and nothing to lose. ~~Let's talk about sex!~~~

Gentle Hugs.... Stay strong~ ~If just for today~

*Source: WebMD

Being a Patient Patient

noreply@blogger.com (Shauna) — Fri, 15 Jul 2011 00:41:00 +0000

When you use Intrathecal drug delivery therapy, your pain medication is delivered directly to the fluid around the spinal cord, called the “intrathecal space,” via a drug pump. The drug pump is connected to a thin, flexible catheter. Both the pump and the catheter are fully implanted under the skin.

The medications that are used in IDDS are strictly limited to those that your physician decides will be the most effective in your particular situation. Morphine is the most common medication used in Intrathecal drug delivery systems. Just a fraction (1/300th) of the Oral Morphine used by the patient, can be used in the implanted pump. This much, much smaller dose is effective in pain relief through this method of delivering the medication. This is a huge benefit of the pump, and the side-effects that are caused by long-term Oral Morphine use can be life-altering, and extremely hard to deal with; an IDDS will eliminate those nasty effects. The usual side-effects of Oral Morphine are not apparent in the patient with an implanted drug system, seeing the greatly reduced dosage that can be used with this method of delivery. Sometimes, Baclofen, a muscle relaxer, is used in the pump- to treat spasticity.

With all this good news regarding the reduced side effects, reduced amounts of medication necessary, and no more oral meds for pain (although BTP medications may still have to be available for break-through pain, and if severe spasms are present, and no Baclofen is going to be used in the pump, an oral muscle relaxer may also be needed) the question is, "When?"

BE PATIENT!!!

That has been the ongoing question over the past year plus. WHEN? Well, with all the red tape, the waiting, the ongoing need for repeat authorizations, the paperwork, the phone calls; those are what add up to a year-- very quickly.

Now, I have been informed that we are still waiting for a response from the medical group for another Pain Center/Hospital, or another doctor, that will be the ones to implant the pump. This must be referral/authorization number 9? Possibly #10.

This is when the enormous amounts of patience needed comes into play. That is another deep strength that many of us undergoing medical treatment must learn to aquire. We learn to be patient, to realize that nothing happens in a day, and that there is no reason to get all bent out of shape when things don't go according to our timeline or desires. If we were already a patient person, we learn how to become an even more patient patient.

Also I was told that the IPA denied my request to keep seeing the Pain Management doctor (that I have been seeing for over 7 years,) who no longer is contracted with the IPA, and that if I want to keep seeing him for Pain Management while I await the pump, I must 'Do an Appeal."

Alright!!

I have to now fight just to keep my medical care in a state of Continuity? To stay with the doctor who has dedicated many hours in my care? Keeping me in a functional level of pain- through careful and time-tested combinations of medications, carefully-chosen exercises, and various other modalities to reduce my pain level. He is familiar with my spine; familiar with me!! This is ridiculous. But....I am not backing down. If that is what they need, some more paperwork to go through, more busy-work for everyone, so they all have a job to do and can get a paycheck--then let's do it! I LOVE a challenge!! And I won't back down.

I ask of my readers one simple thing: that you keep my Morphine Pump authorization in your prayers. I do believe in the power of prayer, when there are many voices, there is much heard. If you don't pray, I ask that you put out positive thoughts to Mother Universe for this pump trial to be granted to me. It's not like I am asking for a damn bottle of pills that is utterly ridiculous to ask for--I am asking for something that will reduce the amount of medication I take!! Something that will allow me (I can only hope) to return to nursing and be back with my beloved Hospice patients, helping them from this life as gently as I can, with the utmost amount of respect and kindness I hold in my heart.

It just shouldn't be so damn hard.

I will continue writing with deeper information on the IDDS.

Gentle Hugs------<3

Stay strong~
.........just for today~

Tips For Dealing With People In Pain

noreply@blogger.com (Shauna) — Sat, 09 Jul 2011 21:17:00 +0000

1. People with chronic pain seem unreliable (we can’t count on ourselves). When feeling better we promise things (and mean it); when in serious pain, we may not even show up.
2. An action or situation may result in pain several hours later, or even the next day. Delayed pain is confusing to people who have never experienced it.
3. Pain can inhibit listening and other communication skills. It’s like having someone shouting at you, or trying to talk with a fire alarm going off in the room. The effect of pain on the mind can seem like attention deficit disorder. So you may have to repeat a request, or write things down for a person with chronic pain. Don’t take it personally, or think that they are stupid.
4. The senses can overload while in pain. For example, noises that wouldn’t normally bother you, seem too much.
5. Patience may seem short. We can’t wait in a long line; can’t wait for a long drawn out conversation.
6. Don’t always ask “how are you” unless you are genuinely prepared to listen it just points attention inward.
7. Pain can sometimes trigger psychological disabilities (usually very temporary). When in pain, a small task, like hanging out the laundry, can seem like a huge wall, too high to climb over. An hour later the same job may be quite OK. It is sane to be depressed occasionally when you hurt.
8. Pain can come on fairly quickly and unexpectedly. Pain sometimes abates after a short rest. Chronic pain people appear to arrive and fade unpredictably to others.
9. Knowing where a refuge is, such as a couch, a bed, or comfortable chair, is as important as knowing where a bathroom is. A visit is much more enjoyable if the chronic pain person knows there is a refuge if needed. A person with chronic pain may not want to go anywhere that has no refuge (e.g.no place to sit or lie down).
10. Small acts of kindness can seem like huge acts of mercy to a person in pain. Your offer of a pillow or a cup of tea can be a really big thing to a person who is feeling temporarily helpless in the face of encroaching pain.
11. Not all pain is easy to locate or describe. Sometimes there is a body-wide feeling of discomfort, with hard to describe pains in the entire back, or in both legs, but not in one particular spot you can point to. Our vocabulary for pain is very limited, compared to the body’s ability to feel varieties of discomfort.
12. We may not have a good “reason” for the pain. Medical science is still limited in its understanding of pain. Many people have pain that is not yet classified by doctors as an officially recognized “disease”. That does not reduce the pain, – it only reduces our ability to give it a label, and to have you believe us.

AUTHOR UNKNOWN
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This was posted on the site: Life In Pain (dot org)

The author is unknown, and this list is fantastic as one to print out and send to our family, friends, and those that love us.

Education is THE KEY to helping others understand Chronic Pain. Any bit of explanation of how we feel, how we may feel, and what our lives are really all about is always welcome. Even others who suffer from Pain daily, need some education. If a person is new to the world of daily pain, they may feel like they are totally alone, and cannot explain how they feel to their family and loved ones, and need some assistance in learning about their particular disease. This will in turn help the patient to become more educated, which is always a plus, as they can then pass that knowledge onto the people in their lives.

Gentle Hugs....
Stay strong~ ~just for today~

A Jawdropping CT Scan

noreply@blogger.com (Shauna) — Sun, 26 Jun 2011 19:53:00 +0000

The most recent study of my Thoracic spine shocked not only me, but the doctors involved in my care.

After a fusion, it is common for the levels above to become weaker and possibly herniate. I used to joke that my discs would just keep herniating up the spine as each level is fixed. I would point to my back, and say (jokingly) that each disc would herniate, it would be fixed in another surgery, it would herniate above that, fix it, and so on.

Unfortunately, that is not a joke anymore.

The report is three pages long, chock full of great medical terms to review, such as 'Schmorl nodes' (which is simply herniation of the nucleous pulposus) and reads like a medical school freaky-spine to study for what you do not want to see as a doctor having to deal with a patient housing such a network of spinal pathologies.

The Radiologist starts at Thoracic Spine vertebrae #1, and Thoracic Spine vertebrae #2. This is written as T1-T2. Levels are read in 'doubles' as each bony vertebrae joins together to the one above and below. The disc, made up of a gelatinous material, lies in the middle of the two joining vertebrae, cushioning the large body of each vertebrae.

And off we go.....

T1-T2: There is a 1-2 mm circumferential disc bulge noted. Costovertebral hypertrophy is noted. Foraminal compromise identified.

Yikes! Right off the line and already starting off with a messy first level. The Thoracic spine is the rarest area to have problems. Herniated discs, osteophytes, etc, are not seen in the T-spine as often as they are seen in the Lumbar spine. OK, on we go...

T2-T3: There is a 1-2 mm circumferential disc bulge noted. Costovertebral hypertrophy noted. Foraminal compromise identified.

T3-T4: There is a 1-2 mm disc bulge noted. Costovertebral hypertrophy noted. Foraminal compromise identified.

T4-T5: There is a 1-2 mm disc bulge noted. Costovertebral hypertrophy noted. Foraminal compromise identified.

Did I just write the same thing four times? 4 herniated discs--multiple levels--and I am only on the 4th level of 12 vertebrae of the Thoracic spine.

T5-T6: There is a 1-2 mm disc bulge noted. Costovertebral hypertrophy noted.

(That was #5 herniated disc in as many levels.)

T6-T7: There is a 2 mm circumferential disc bulge noted. There is a right paracentral disc protrusion that indents the Thecal sac. It measures 6x3 mm in the transverse and AP dimension. There is bilateral foraminal compromise. At the level of the disc protrusion right of the midline, the AP dimension of the canal is on the order of 9mm. Costovertebral hypertrophy noted. Foraminal compromise identified.

T7-T8: There is a circumferential disc osteophyte complex that is prominent to the right anteriorly. There is a right paracentral calcified disc protrusion that measures 6x3 in the transverse and AP dimensions respectively. There is indentation of the Thecal sac. Bilateral foraminal compromise and moderate costovertebral hypertrophy at this level.

T8-T9: There is a bulky right anterior disc osteophyte complex that measures 1.5 x 1.5 cm in size. There is moderate bilateral costovertebral hypertrophy, slightly greater on the right. There is calcification of the Ligamentum flavum. There is a right paracentral calcified disc protrusion that indents the thecal sac. It measures 5 x 3 mm. There is bilateral foraminal compromise. There is indentation of the thecal sac.

(I am at level nine out f 12 levels of the thoracic spine. Not one level has been untouched by disc protrusion, foraminal compromise, bone hypertrophy or ....)

T9-T-10: There is a 2mm disc osteophyte complex. There is a right paracentral calcified disc protrusion that indents the thecal sac. It measures 3 x 3 mm on the transverse and AP dimension. There is moderate bilateral foraminal compromise.

T10-T11: There is a 2 mm circumferential disc osteophyte complex eccentric to the left posteriorly. Bilateral foraminal compromise. There is resection of the left costovertebral joint and portions of the left rib with some bone fragments remaining in the postsurgical bed. There is hypertrophy of the left transverse process.

T11-T12: There is a 2 mm circumferential disc osteophyte complex eccentric to the left posteriorly. Bilateral moderate foraminal compromise with probability of impingement of the exiting nerve roots. Ligamentum flavum hypertrophy and mild facet hypertrophy noted bilaterally.

T12-L1: There is a 2mm circumferential disc bulge noted. There is mild left foraminal compromise. There is no nerve root impingement.
                                          ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Knowing what I know from my past surgeries, my own experience as a patient, and my medical knowledge as a nurse, my spine is "really messed up ." These words were spoken by the kind pain management doctor that saw me for the Morphine pump. As he read the CT results, he looked at me to say how bad my spine is, and my eyes clouded with tears. I knew already that what was there, and what had been fixed surgically, was already a 'huge mess'. Yet this CT scan showed me exactly why my pain has been rising steadily and is becoming out of control.

I was told by a close friend the other day, just how strong I am. She saw me after a long, very active day- and my pain was crazy-high. Yet somehow I was able to press on and do the things that I needed to do. It felt good to hear that. Yet even I do not know where the incredible strength comes from! How I am able to push through the barrier that occurs when pain hits hard and I am unable to rest, and just keep going? It must come from God. For if you saw me on the street, you would never know my name was on a CT result such as above.

I may have severe spinal issues. I may have a spine that will never allow me to return to floor nursing. (THAT alone causes the tears to well up.) But I will never allow all of this to keep me down. I refuse to fade off into the background while life goes on around me. I would much rather experience life and all that it brings, in pain, than to not have those experiences. Better to live my life in pain than....well, what is the other choice? NOT live? Actually, that IS the reason we have many deaths by suicide in the chronic pain community. For there is NO other choice than to learn to live with the crazy pain.

And I would rather feel life in all it's wonder......and in pain......than to feel nothing.

Gentle Hugs....

Stay strong~
                     ~just for today~

Regarding Comments or Personal Questions to Me

noreply@blogger.com (Shauna) — Thu, 23 Jun 2011 00:01:00 +0000

I have received a few emails regarding the comment area under each post, and also the 'Contact Me' section that is directly under my picture on the right sidebar.

To leave a comment on my blog, look for the 'Comments #' under each published post. The area after the word comments has the number of comments that have been published, not how many have been left for the post. At this present time I have comment moderation enabled, which on Blogger allows the author to choose which comments to publish. This helps to weed out spam, and spammers still find their way through. These are people that make general comments, usually misspelled, are not in any relation to the subject of the post, and ALWAYS have a link in the post, or the signature, that is there simply for their own advertising. I don't write this blog as an advertisement area for just anyone to leave their links on.

I would prefer to take off comment moderation and allow all comments from anyone. I may try this again and will be checking in daily to see which ones I want to keep and which to delete. Not having any moderation does make it feel easier for people to leave comments, there are no 'capcha' letters/numbers to fill out, and you would see your comment immediately published.

To contact me directly, just use the area right under my picture that says, 'Contact Me', this requires an email addy, and a capcha. This has worked fine for me, if you are having any trouble with this feature you are welcome to leave a regular comment. I do not share, publish, or give out any email addresses that you trust me with.

Just a little business!!

Hope you are all AWAP,

With Gentle Hugs....

What Would You Do?

noreply@blogger.com (Shauna) — Mon, 20 Jun 2011 19:59:00 +0000

Tomorrow is the appointment for my consult with the physician who places IDDS.

Having waited over a year for this, I am extremely excited and will write about the outcome ASAP.

Over the weekend I saw an old friend and I am very concerned. This person is under a doctor's care for pain management. However, when we met, I was astonished at the state that this person is in. This is one of my biggest worries--those who take their medications improperly, yet are being followed by a physician. Something is wrong with this picture.

Is the physician aware that this patient is totally over taking medications? Leaving them in such a state that they are unable to drive, unable to speak clearly, unable to make proper decisions. I care about this person personally and find myself at a loss of what to do.

We both know each other very well, and yet the addiction to pain pills goes unspoken between us. Here I am, writing about those that take pain meds, and how I am in favor of Opiates for the use of pain management in cases where the patient will benefit from such medications; and yet I see this person totally out of it and I am stuck . This is not like me. Maybe because it has hit close to home, it bothers me so very much.

I care about all people who are in pain. I seek to educate and advocate for pain patients. However, when a patient is clearly non-compliant, I feel angry to see it in action. I feel sad to know that this person is ruining their life, and it can only go down from here if the pills are continued to be used for more than pain relief.

It is a slippery slope to begin Opiates. The prescribing physician needs to do a complete assessment of the patient who is going to embark on a regimen of opiates. Do these patients present as clear headed and compliant when in the presence of their physician? Is this just to get the prescription in their hands?

When I speak of compliance, I am very serious about this subject, and pride myself of being a totally complaint patient. This includes doing everything that the doctor wants to include in the treatment program. If Physical Therapy is prescribed for instance, the patient is expected to attempt therapy. It may not be easy, it may not fit into everyone's schedule, but it must be tried. It may be uncomfortable, the patient may not be ready for that at this time, but it must be tried.

If someone wants their pain to be lowered, become a level that can be tolerated, they must go along with what their doctor wants to try. Not doing this shows that a patient is not interested in getting better. A patient who is being treated for pain, can not just take pills all day and expect to get better.

I have been forced into physical activity that I didn't know I could do; over the past 7 months. I am thankful that everything worked out the way that it did, for I have found that becoming physically stronger has lowered my overall pain levels! This is exciting and rewarding. Constantly a challenge, I have learned that my body can do much more than I thought previously. Sometimes in life we must be forced into a situation that allows us to see just how strong we are--both physically and emotionally.

Yet when I see a person that I used to know as a vibrant person, gone down the drain so fast into a painpillheadthatdoesntmakeanysense, slurring words, eyes clouded, unable to remember what was just said, my heart is heavy. I know that addiction runs rampant in this persons life. Not seeing someone for a few months, then seeing them and being aware of the level they have sunk to, and all because of over taking their pain medications...well I am at a loss for words.

What do I do?

What would YOU do?

Gentle Hugs....

Intrathecal Drug Delivery Sytems: How Do They Work?

noreply@blogger.com (Shauna) — Wed, 01 Jun 2011 22:55:00 +0000

As the day approaches for the consult with the physician that will put in the IDDS/Morphine Pump, I am researching the subject over and over again, and reading everything I can about the pumps.

Of course I have done this before, but I wanted to get some up to date information and post a few pictures of the pump so everyone can understand at least what they look like, and how they work.

The pumps that are made by Medtronic, are about the same circumference as a tuna can, (the small ones) and since I am quite thin, I have been told that mine will probably show. The pump holds the medication that is then 'pumped' to the intrathecal space. There is a catheter that goes from the pump, to the spot where the end of the catheter is, and the medication is then in the spinal column's intrathecal space.

Is it decent-looking to walk around with a 'tuna can' in my abdomen that is visible to others?? Well, guess what--I don't CARE!! I have never cared what others think, and now is no different. Especially if it has to do with a reduction in my pain levels. I will be the first one to put on a bikini, get to the beach, and swim in the ocean--one of my favorite things to do, which I haven't been able to do for years. Tuna or no tuna, I'm there!!! Just thinking about the world that will open back up to me is nearly unbelievable.

One of the huge benefits of the IDDS is no more oral meds. I know that many, if not most, of the pump recipients, still need to take some oral medications. Breakthrough pain can still occur with the pump running, and oral medications may need to be used for the BTP. Also, other medications can be put in the pump, such as Baclofen, which is a muscle relaxer, but if that is not used with me, I may still need to take something for the severe muscle spasms that I have. The idea here is that a small fraction of the oral dose of medication can be used with the pump, since the medication goes directly to the spinal canal or intrathecal space, and disrupts the pain signals from being broadcast to the brain.

I have talked to a 'Pump Ambassador' with the Medtronic Tame the Pain program, who told me everything about her pump trial, and subsequent implantation. I was giddy after our phone call, and very excited. This was quite a few months ago, and I am going to talk with her again since this is all going to hopefully happen very soon for me. She told me the nurses would hang out in her room (more like hide in her room) because she was the only non-demanding patient during her trial, as her response was excellent and she had nearly complete relief of her pain.

I am very realistic and know that this could be a total failure. I have a large amount of scar tissue in my spinal area, which got in the way of a Spinal Cord Stimulator being placed for pain relief during the trial for the Stimulator. Strange, I was not told about the pump at that time when a failed Stimulator trial occurred. But I have always believed that everything happens in it's own time, and at the right time.

This link will take you to a very short video that shows how the pump is placed:

http://www.medtronicaseanneuro.com/Pain_intro2idp.html

Much more to come on the pump, the trial and what that entails....

Gentle Hugs....

Pain Care Bill of Rights

noreply@blogger.com (Shauna) — Mon, 23 May 2011 08:22:00 +0000

Pain Care Bill of Rights

AS A PERSON WITH PAIN YOU DESERVE:

• The right to have your report of pain taken seriously and to be treated with dignity and respect by doctors, nurses, pharmacists and other healthcare professionals.

• The right to have your pain thoroughly assessed and promptly treated.

• The right to be informed by your doctor about what may be causing your pain, possible treatments, and the benefits, risks and costs of each.

• The right to participate actively in decisions about how to manage your pain.

• The right to have your pain reassessed regularly and your treatment adjusted if your pain has not been eased.

• The right to be referred to a pain specialist if your pain persists.

• The right to get clear and prompt answers to your questions, take time to make decisions, and refuse a particular type of treatment if you choose.

***Although not always required by law, these are the rights you should expect for your pain care.***

Source: American Pain Foundation

Gentle Hugs------<3

Top 50 Blogs Every Nursing Student Should Read

noreply@blogger.com (Shauna) — Sat, 21 May 2011 08:00:00 +0000

I was pleasantly surprised to see that over at Nursense, my blog was featured in their excellent list of: '50 Blogs that Nursing Students Should Read', on April 26, 2011.

I was impressed by the wonderful list they compiled of nursing blogs that were either written by nurses, written for nurses, or sites that all nurses could benefit from reading. Take a gander over there and get introduced to a few new blogs!!!

Thanks to the editors over at Nursense--("Creating a nursense on the World Wide Web") for including my blog in your list.

Gentle Hugs to all nursing students and readers here!!!

THE Appointment for the Morphine Pump!

noreply@blogger.com (Shauna) — Thu, 19 May 2011 21:44:00 +0000

After waiting one year and three months; I made my appointment to consult with the doctor that puts the Intrathecal Drug Delivery Systems in. I actually have the appointment!!

Dated 2-10-10, the original referral written by my faithful and kind pain physician, reads, "Refer to Dr. Blthfppppttttt to evaluate for implanted Opioid pump." Today is 5-19-11. Christmas (another one) is in seven months. Time is an odd entity, isn't it? At times dragging and taking it's own damn time (time taking it's own time) hehe and at times, going so fast that a month seems like one day.

The time during this Year Plus Wait held some very eventful events for me. I wouldn't have dreamed that any of it would happen to me; but I REALLY didn't think that the time to get an appointment even, just for a Consult with another Pain Specialist would cover a period of nearly a year and a half!!

In past posts I have mentioned all the hoops that must be jumped through when attemptiong to take care of oneself. Gone are the days of calling the family doctor, making an appointment, going within a few days time, and paying there, or billed to insurance. It was simple, easy, and never a huge deal to deal with. What has happened?? Our Health Care System is out of control.

Working in the Health Care field has allowed me to see many sides that the 'normal patient doesn't. What happens after you leave the doctor's office? What are the steps that must be taken next? How many days, weeks, months or years will it take to get time with a physician that can help you with your particular brand of needed medicine? How much time to you spend on the phone, making appointments, talking to the insurance about payment, talking to the doctors offices about payment, talking to your Physician's Association about payment?

Spending as much time as I do on the phone, and the time spent over the past year plus making the calls needed to secure this appointment with the right doctor, the right IPA, the right Pain Center, the right.....well you get the idea. I have felt that I should be receiving a paycheck about now for all my time spent!!

I hope that everyone is enjpoying a day filled with love and people close to you that you love to be around!!! It has been gorogues in Southern California lately.....not too hot, or too cold---a few rain showers to clear out the air--(which puts the local L.A. news on STORM WATCH, and they carefully measure the few millimeters of water that fell....with reporters stationed all over, finding stories worthy of the 5-o-clock-news...)--it has been perfect weather, and knowing what is to come in the summer months (Heat Exhaustion) this is fantastic!!! ;)

Gentle Hugs-------<3

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Free Hugs!! Let Us Spread The Love!

noreply@blogger.com (Shauna) — Mon, 02 May 2011 21:08:00 +0000

I haven't cried with so much love in my heart as when I watched this. Such a simple and heartfelt action-- a hug-- filled with a moment of pure love for others.

Finances In Chronic Pain- Part 2

noreply@blogger.com (Shauna) — Sun, 01 May 2011 22:11:00 +0000

In my last post about Finances and Chronic Pain, the responses were overwhelming and I wanted to continue the discussion. Thanks to those of you who commented and wrote me emails telling me your stories.

One of the biggest worries in the life of any person who has been affected in life by ay medical issue, especially an ongoing one, such as chronic pain, or a chronic illness; is FINANCES.

The area I wanted to focus on today is one that has hit many people who have had to get some type of Government assistance. It is a catch 22.....

If you are unable to work any longer due to your pain or illness, you will certainly want to apply for Social Security Disability. SSDI and SSI are the main agencies that are there to help those that can't work--whether it be for a limited amount of time while awaiting a procedure or surgery so you can return to work; or for those who can not work for an indeterminate amount of time.

The catch-22 I speak of is this: When you apply for help from the very agencies that you have paid into all of your working life, there is just a tiny catch awaiting you. You have to basically be completely broke for the benefits to begin.

You can be awarded a winning case, and told that you will be receiving a monthly amount from Social Security Disability Insurance, (SSDI) or Supplemental Security Insurance, (SSI) but you will not be able to begin collecting that award if you have anything over $2,000 for a single person, or $3,000 for a married person, in your savings, or other net worth.

What happens then, is that you MUST 'spend down' as the SSA (Social Security Administration) likes to put it. Use up, (or find a great place to hide some cash), all of your savings. Then you can begin to collect the awesome amounts that our Government thinks is a liveable amount of money. Yes, you detected sarcasm....

It is a theory that makes absolutely no sense to me. I understand that there must be limits. That the Government doesn't want to give more money to people that already have money. But to the point that you must be broke? Then they have put you in a position of becoming accustomed to having NO savings, and completely dependent on the small amounts granted monthly.

There is no way that a person can SAVE money when on SSDI, or SSI. No way to try and put a little back into the savings account that we had to drain to get our Disability. There is no savings plan, no financial help or talk about learning how to save while on Disability. First of all it is truly IMPOSSIBLE to save anything. But even if the amount that they grant people who can not work was reasonable, there is the limit scale again.

The 2k and 3k limits, (depends on your marital status), still stand on the opposite side. We had to have less than that to receive the benefits, now we must stay under those amounts to continue to receive our benefits. And there are other things to keep in mind--such as any tangible assets.

Stocks, bonds, funeral plans, trusts, A-N-Y-T-H-I-N-G of value counts against you. So what does that all add up to??

It is our Government saying, 'Become completely insolvent and we will help you when you are very ill.' And, 'Continue to be totally financially wiped out, and we will continue to give you the benefits that you worked for.'

Is this the way that we should think about money? Not at all!! Most people I know do not have a financial planner in their lives, whether there is money to speak of or not. Most people just wait until there is a lump sum, then they get nervous, and seek financial planning help. But what about those of us who had money at one time? Those of us who HAD to spend everything we had on our Medical Care, as most of us are not able to be covered by any insurance due to our pre-existing conditions; now who are broke due to having to spend everything we had, and are being kept in a negative financial position just so we can receive benefits, including Medical Coverage.

Is there sense to this? Am I just not seeing it? What if you had to spend all your savings on your medical bills, and then fought- (with a lawyer on your side) against the Government that fights us to get our own benefits, then we get them, and they make sure that we do not earn any extra money in an attempt to get that savings account beefed up again?

It is aggravating. Seems wrong for our Government to basically be saying, "We don't want you to be able to succeed at any time financially during your time on Disability."

In a happier and more sensible light; I was contacted by a Government-hiring agency that works with those who are in my exact position in life, (and other stages of Disability), who wanted to hire me for a job which is done from home. This is under a program working with and through agencies contracted with the Federal Government. There are catches in this also.

I'll write about this program next.

Xtra Gentle Hugs......I will try not to take my frustration out in any hugs I give!!! ;)

Medical Billing and Financial Issues in Chronic Pain

noreply@blogger.com (Shauna) — Fri, 15 Apr 2011 18:08:00 +0000

When a person becomes a patient; everything, every part of their life is affected.

It is not simply a matter of the medical issue that we are seeing a physician for, life changes in every area.

Many of my friends online that also suffer from Chronic Pain, or another Chronic Illness, have discussed the issue of a changing financial life with me. We share a lot, these friends and I. We can trust each other.

Some of these friends have become sounding boards, and we are all close, personal and trustworthy people in each others lives.

One of the issues that we discuss openly with each other is the issue of finances. The costs associated with medical billing and prolonged treatment. How our lives have changed during this time of either not being able to work, not being able to work as much as before, or not bringing in the same income as we did before. (The word Before kind of has it's own meaning with us, it signifies our life before our pain got bad enough that it affected our lives in any way.)

Life is hard financially at this time in our country. Not just for those that are not bringing in what they are accustomed to, but for just about everyone. Those that are fortunate enough to hold a good job are the winners in this economy. But try living on what is allotted to those that can not work at this time.

It is not only not easy, but nearly impossible.

Coming from a place where financially we used to be able to do more than simply pay the bills; then suddenly our bodies give out and we are faced with the inability to even be able to pay those monthlies.

If a person in a Chronic Illness has to pay for their own medical care; well, forget it when it comes to not touching your savings. I had to do that for many many years. Without going into particulars here, just imagine if every time you went to the doctor, or filled a medication, you paid for it out of your pocket.....how would your savings look?

It is here that many of us are judged. Believe it or not, people still judge on our incomes. And our ability to bring those incomes in. It hurts when anyone judges us for any reason. I hate judgments. Period.

But judging someone because their body has changed, or has been cut into, has acquired something, or has been slammed in an accident, I mean really? Really? People are going to judge us on the fact that we have to rely on another form of income while we get better? While we await a new procedure or cure of sorts that will allow us to return to earning that good income again?

Yep. It hurts. And there is one thing to remind those people of:

Just pray that it does not happen to you.

Gentle Hugs.......