Shayna Unaltered

New Year

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 01 Jan 2009 19:11:00 +0000

Well, its 2009!

Its been a year since I started this blog. I don't know if I really accomplished my goal of writing more. I decided a few months ago that the reason why this blog couldn't function for me as a place for me to record my "unaltered thoughts" is because this blog isn't anonymous. I know my readership and they know me, so for me to write down my silly inner musings about the universe or my love life is too personal and embarrassing to put on a blog with my real name on it. I might have to start an anonymous blog somewhere else if I really want to journal online, as I had originally envisioned.

It is nice, though, to have in this blog a record of my life goings-on and of my more-or-less altered thoughts during the year 2008. It wasn't an overly exciting year. My life stayed pretty stationary. I did school, I did science. I did develop a close friend group and it was fun to bring in the new year with them last night. Really, 2008 was a good year to do the things I like to do, recoup from bad years past, and to plan for the future.

Now this year, 2009, is when the future comes into play. I finished applying to graduate school in December, and my first grad school interview is in 8 days! I have several more interviews after that (and hopefully more to come that I haven't heard about yet), then I find out where I got in and have to decide where to go. I graduate college this year, I will move this year, and - honestly - there is a good chance I will get engaged this year.

It's kind of crazy. I feel like my "real life" is starting. It's going to be sad to leave CMC and Claremont, but I think I'm ready to move on. It's bittersweet, but at least I think I will enjoy the next step even more than this last one. Bring on 2009!

"I Saw A Hippy Girl On 8th Avenue" Lyrics

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 14 Dec 2008 21:59:00 +0000

This is one of my (many) new favorite songs that I found on Pandora. I love this one because I used to dress all punk, but since I have been in college I just kind of wear jeans and t-shirts and sweatshirts every day. I don't even wear my black eyeliner anymore. I blow dry my hair maybe once a fortnight.

But I still feel like a 'punk' on the inside in that I want to be anti consumer culture and I don't like to be part of the mainstream unless I can think of a good reason. I'm a vegetarian and I still graduate towards people who are 'different.' My musical tastes still include punk and metal music, though I also like alternative, folk, country, classical, and even some hip-hop and rap every now and then. Really now I am just more of a science nerd more than a punk, and I have more important things to think about and spend my money on than what I wear.

Okay, so here are the lyrics (by Jeffrey Lewis):

I saw a hippy girl on 8th avenue
She barely looked at me for a second or two
and I suddenly realized I no longer looked much like a hippy
mmmmm

She had a long thin dress and rainbow clothes
not long ago I wore one of those
but now-a-days I guess I don't very much
like anything
mmmmm

I had a great pair of bellbottoms
I had two
my friend borrowed one
and the other I outgrew
and now to the eye
I'm turning into another
non-descript guy

But I still travel light
and my hair is still long
and I still hate deoderant
and I still sing songs
but over the years I've noticed
I'm not dressing as colorfully and psychedelic as I used to

Cause I wore my tye-dyes
until they rotted to shreds
and I can no longer follow
The Greatful Dead
and it's gotten to the point where I don't even identify with most Phish fans anymore

And someday soon I know I'll cut my hair
and a week after that I know I won't even care
Is that what it all comes to
all along
everything that you feel
will one day feel wrong

I was talking to my friend Eric
just to see what he thunk
and he said
'Jeff, it's weird
but I no longer look like a punk'
I guess we don't need our clothes
for an identity crutch
and we looked at each other
and we didn't look like much
and we looked out at the world
like a movie theatre
at all the hippies and the punks
and the skinheads and the skaters
and someday or other
maybe sooner or later
they'll come to the realization
that what's important is what you can carry on
in human conversation
and it's not what you wear on the outside
it's what you think and feel on the inside.

I won't be sleeping much tonight... or this week.

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 08:39:00 +0000

My lit and stats presentations for tomorrow are now (mostly) made, now I just have to finish my TWO chem reports that are due at 8am.

When those are done, I will sleep for a few hours, get up and go to chem, come home and take a shower, then go to the computer lab to edit/practice my presentations (especially for stats).

Then I have present or listen to presentations from 2:45pm - 7:30pm (with a break for dinner).

After that I can sleep! For a little bit...

But ALL day Thursday I have to finish writing the two papers that are due on Friday.

After I turn in the papers on Friday I have to do my LAST (overdue) stats homework assignment. THEN I can sleep!

But then all day Saturday and Sunday I have to STUDY for my organic chemistry final.

Oh and probably on Saturday I'm going to finish the freaking writeups for the talks I had to attend for thesis. I wanted to do it earlier, but now that I think about it I will probably have to wait until Saturday to do it...

But when those are done ALL I am doing is studying for OCHEM.

Monday morning I take my chem final, and then I am DONE with ochem (for this semester).

Then I will sleep some more.

But ALL day Tuesday I will be doing my take-home biostats final. Then I will turn it in when I'm done (probably on Tuesday, but maybe on Wednesday).

And THEN I will be FINALLY done with this FREAKING semester that has been STRESSING me out so much!!

Okay, I needed that. To vent.

I am seriously so stressed out right now that my hair is falling out and my stomach is having all sorts of weird problems and my shoulders feel like bricks. But I just have to do this week and then I'm really really done. And I'm going to relax A LOT over break, and then take it easy(-er) next semester.

So its really just this one really hellish week...

Just one week...

Why I haven't been posting...

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 08 Dec 2008 19:46:00 +0000

I) I finished applying to graduate school!
II) School, work, neuroscience club, mentoring...

But I'm almost done with this (hellish) semester. Here is all I have left:
1. Overdue stats HW #1 - Today
2. Overdue stats HW #2 - Today
3. Thesis talk writeups (6) - Today
4. Stats presentation - Wednesday
5. Lit presentation - Wednesday
6. Chem formal report rewrite - Wednesday
7. Chem normal report - Wednesday
8. Stats paper - Friday
9. Lit paper - Friday
10. Chem final - Monday
11. Stats final - Next Wednesday
Then DONE!

I have several posts brewing that I just haven't gotten around to. One is about why I should have made this an anonymous blog, another is about why I'm against male circumcision (well any circumcision really). But first I have to finish school... now back to it!

The Election - An Obligatory Reaction Post

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 04:01:00 +0000

The results I care about:

1) OBAMA WON! Yay!

2) California Prop 4 (requiring parental consent for minors to get abortions) has not been called yet. Right now CNN shows 99% of precincts reporting with prop 4 winning 52% to 48%. Messed up.

3) California Prop 8 (banning same-sex marriage) also hasn't been called. CNN shows 99% of precincts reporting with prop 4 winning 52% to 48%, sound familiar? This is unbearably depressing to me.

You know, that means that in California there were A LOT of people who voted for Obama and at the same time voted for Prop 4 and Prop 8. This disturbs me. It disturbs me that people can be racially tolerant and leaning toward a liberal ideology and still be intolerant enough to think that it is wrong for same-sex couples to get married. It also bothers me that Obama not only says he is a Christian but claims that he also defines marriage between a man and a woman. He is quick to defend the rights of ethnic minorities, but he is slow to stand up for other minorities in the states such as atheists and GLBTI individuals. In these ways he does not represent me and my secular corner of America which desires true equality for ALL Americans.

So where does this leave us? Well I am hopeful that with a liberal president and a democratic senate we will be able to get some progressive judges on the bench in the next 4 years. Also, the "No on 8" folks out here haven't given up quite yet. A law suit is being mounted saying that Proposition 8 was unconstitutional to begin with therefore it cannot be added to the California constitution. There is still hope... but I remain thoroughly disappointed in California voters tonight.

**UPDATE**

So since I checked CNN last night things have changed - Prop 4 is NOT going to pass! That is awesome, I'm glad. But I'm still totally ticked about prop 8. Thats just BS...

Atheist Blogroll

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 22 Oct 2008 18:30:00 +0000

Hey everyone! Guess what? My blog (you know, the one you are reading) was added to The Atheist Blogroll. w00t w00t.

There are over 800 blogs on the blogroll now, all by atheist/agnostic bloggers. I haven't read all of the blogs, but I am subscribed to a few of the blogs on my google reader. The blogs are very diverse in scope, theme, topics covered, etc. but it is nice to know when you read them that you are hearing the perspective of a fellow atheist. Its refreshing, to me at least, to read posts that cover topics about separation of church and state or being "out" at work as an atheist rather than a post about a blogger's "relationship with God."

The latest 25 posts from blogs on the blogroll can be found on my sidebar, and if you are interested in joining the blogroll visit visit Mojoey at Deep Thoughts for more information.

The Grad Schools I'm Applying To

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 19 Oct 2008 03:08:00 +0000

So here is the long awaited final list of the schools I am applying to (for those who may not know, I am applying to PhD programs in neuroscience). Wish me luck!

Stanford
University of Virginia
University of Michigan
University of Wisconsin
Mount Sinai
University of Southern California
University of California, San Diego
University of California, Los Angeles
University of California, San Francisco
Massachusetts Institute of Technology
University of Texas, Southwestern
Washington University in St. Louis

I'm taking the GRE on TUESDAY, and I have my psuedo-final draft of my statement of purpose done and currently waiting for a few edits before I send it to my recommendation letter writers. It's really happening! I hope to have my part of the applications in by the end of October, and to have my letters in by mid-November.

Right now I am excited and nervous about applying, but I wish I could fast forward a few months and just know where I got in and did not get in. I want to be a neuroscience grad student SO badly. I love doing research and I want to do research forever. Its scary to think that I might not get in anywhere, so I'm just not thinking about that. Its also just hard to make decisions about my life right now when I don't know where I will be living next year, it all hinges on these applications.

Send me good mental-vibes everyone. Thanks for the support!

Recipes

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sat, 18 Oct 2008 01:40:00 +0000

I haven't posted in a while, and I have food on the brain, so I thought I would post a few of my favorite recipes that I make at home.

1. Vegetarian Fajitas!

Ingredients:
1-2 Green bell peppers
1 White or yellow onion
1-2 Serrano chilis (to taste)
1 Red bell pepper (optional)
1 Clove of garlic
2 Tbsp of olive oil
Lemon pepper to taste
Salt and pepper to taste
Flour tortillas
Dress with shredded chedder, sour cream, salsa, and/or guacamole

Directions:
Chop onions and peppers into strips, chop serrano into thin slices, mince the garlic
Combine veggies in large skillet with garlic, olive oil and seasonings
Cook on med-high, stirring frequently, heat for 10-15 minutes until veggies are sizzling hot
For "charred" flavor leave unstirred on high heat for a few minutes before serving
Put veggies on tortillas with cheese, sour cream, salsa or whatever else you like!
Serve with black beans and mexican rice or chips and salsa. Mmmm.

2. Better than Veggie Lasagna
This is not your standard lasagna recipe, its better!

Ingredients:
1 Red bell pepper
1 Zuchinni
1 Broccoli floret
1/2 Red onion
1 Cup mushrooms
2-3 Cloves garlic
Italian seasoning blend to taste
Crushed red pepper to taste
2 Tbps olive oil
1 Jar prego (unless you want to make your own sauce)
Lasagna noodles
Shredded mozzerella cheese
Fresh (not powdered) parmesan cheese

Directions:
Chop all veggies into very small chunks, mince the garlic
Combine veggies and garlic in large skillet with olive oil, italian seasoning and crushed red pepper
Cook veggies on low-medium heat until onions are translucent
Boil lasagna noodles
Layer lasagna in caserole as follows:
1) Noodles
2) Veggies and a little sauce
3) Noodles
4) Sauce and mozerella cheese
5) Noodles
6) Veggies and a little sauce
7) Noodles
8) Sauce and both cheeses, with some italian seasoning sprinkled on top
Bake lasagna at 350 until it is heated through and cheese is melty. Usually 30-45 minutes, but allow up to an hour.

Great served with garlic bread and a salad!

3. Veggie Side Dish #1

Ingredients:
1/2 Broccoli floret
1/2 Zuchini
1/4 Red onion
1 Clove garlic
Italian seasoning blend to taste
Black pepper to taste
1-2 Tbsp olive oil
Sometimes I add a little lemon juice or crushed red pepper

Directions:
Chop the veggies, mince the garlic, combine all ingredients in small skillet and heat
This is great as a side dish when you are lacking green foods in your meal.

4. Veggie Side Dish #2

Ingredients:
4-5 Cherry tomatos
1/2 Broccoli floret
1/4 Red onion
1 Cup baby spinach leaves
2 Cloves garlic (beware of breath after you eat, but it tastes so good)
Italian seasoning to taste
1 Tbsp olive oil
About 1/4 cup red wine (merlot works)

Directions:
Cut the broccoli and tomatos into small pieces, cut the tomatos in half, mince the garlic
Combine all ingredients but the wine in a pan and heat until spinach wilts
Add wine then cook for about 1-2 more minutes

5. Whole Wheat Macaroni and Tomato Sauce
This is an old recipe of my Mom's. Some people don't like it much, but for me its a great easy comfort food.

Ingredients:
1 Cup whole wheat elbow macaroni
1 Cup plain tomato sauce (thats right, tomato sauce, not marinara sauce)
2 Tbsp butter
Lots of black pepper

Directions:
Boil pasta and drain, then add the rest of the ingredients and stir well.

Most of my other recipes are kind of standard, like garlic red mashed potatos, so I won't post them. And of course sometimes I just eat pizza bagels or a lean cuisine, or order a thin crust vegetarian pizza like tonight.

Update: August/September 2008

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 04 Sep 2008 16:53:00 +0000

I know it has been a while since I have posted, things just got really busy in the past month.

In the beginning of August visited Oklahoma and then came back to California. It was nice to see the family but overall I did not enjoy my trip home. I was going to write a post about the trip, but I decided not to as what I have to say could be considered 1) whining and/or 2) offensive to people I know back home. Lets just suffice it to say that I love my life in California.

Once I got back to California, though, I had jury duty - and I was actually put on a jury! The trial lasted about 2 weeks and it was at the same time very interesting and incredibly boring. It was a medical negligence case involving the death of a diabetic 25 year old who was survived by her three young children. There were a lot of factors in the case, but we ruled that the doctors were not at fault for her death. Now I'm off the hook for duty for 1 year, and if I am never on a case again that would be fine with me.

As soon as jury duty was over I had training for my IT jobs, then freshmen orientation happened, and ever since my life hasn't slowed down for a second. My classes are going to be challenging this semester, if not only because each class is going to take many hours a week.

I am taking:
1. Applied Biostatistics - I don't expect the course to be overly challenging for me as I have a respectable background in stats, but I do expect to spend at least 5 hours a week (maybe more) doing problem sets.
2. Organic Chemistry - This class is going to be a challenge, I know. Not only because o-chem is hard for everyone, but because I find chemistry exceptionally challenging (even though I adore science). It is also going to take A LOT of time per week to do problem sets and study. Luckily I have already made plans to spend a lot of time with my friend Tori, the only other senior I know who is taking o-chem. I may or may not also live in my professor's office. Wish me luck!
3. Senior thesis - Surprisingly, I am not at all concerned about thesis at the moment. Most of the other members of my class are in a frenzy about it, but I have already done the brunt of my research and I have 2 semesters to write about it. Plus science theses are not overly long.
4. Jane Austen (Literature) - I am at once very excited about and nervous about my literature class. I am taking it not only because have put off my humanities general education requirement until my second-to-last semester of college, but because I have loved what I have read of Jane Austen and because I love the professor who is teaching the class. The reason I am nervous, though, is that even though I used to love literature and do very well in the subject in high school, majoring in a hard science has not helped me in my literature reading abilities. I do not feel confident anymore that I can read a novel and analyze it critically and intelligently. Even the research assignments for the class have me nervous. Writing a 20 page science research paper, even if it is not primary research, is cake compared to writing a 5 page literature paper. The standards are different. Besides, papers for science classes have a very rigid format, tone, and organization whereas I think of literature research papers as more organic. Plus I am always intimidated by knowing that a literature professor will be reading my grammar. I can just picture her cringing at every comma splice.

Hopefully, though, I will make it through and be better for it. If I can just maintain all A's and B's this semester that will really help me in my graduate school applications (that reminds me, I also need to get the GRE over with...). Wish me luck, and good luck to all my friends with your semesters!

5000 Days from Now

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 21:18:00 +0000

Do you ever watch TED talks? Here is one that I watched today that I found incredibly interesting. It is about the next 5000 days of the web and how it relates to our future:

Some people are bothered by the idea of humanity being completely dependent on the web, and are even more bothered by the idea of having almost no privacy due to the essence of the web. I used to be bothered by both of these things, but now I'm not. Instead I am looking forward to the day (coming soon) when my entire life is online and each one of my interactions with the physical world are streamlined and improved by the semantic web.

So how do we get over these mental blocks?

Well fear of dependence comes from simple fear of change, and fear of change never helped anyone. If it is fear of becoming dependent then losing the thing you are dependent on, think of it this way: humans survived for thousands of years without the internet, we will probably be fine without it. Besides, as is mentioned in the above video the web is the only machine that has run for 5000 days without going down. There is no reason to fear losing the internet.

Also, fear of disclosure can only come from two things 1) shame about what you are doing online and 2) fear of other people taking advantage of you by using your information.

1) I have come to to the conclusion that everyone searches things online that they don't necessarily want others to know about, but when it comes down to it everyone has things they are embarrassed about and for the most part none of them are all that embarrassing. Virtually every teenage boy (or college boy, or middle aged man) has searched porn, and many women and girls have too. Everyone has googled some ailment they may have from butt pimples to too much sweating to some rash down there. We don't want our friends or family to know about it, but really, if they did would it be the end of the world? Shame comes from within yourself. If you really don't want people to know you do it, then just don't do it - and if you are okay with doing it then why be ashamed of it? Really it is an issue of self-acceptance, being honest with yourself, and forgetting about what others think.

2) Okay so fear of exploitation is valid, but it is still mostly unnecessary. Think of it this way: every time you get in a car there is a chance that you will have an accident. The car safety features and traffic laws work to protect you, but if you drive dangerously you could still have a wreck - and even if you are driving very carefully accidents still happen. Hopefully you won't be seriously injured, and insurance will cover your losses, but you may still be permanently damaged. This is a risk you take every day on the way to work or to the grocery store.

The internet is the same way. Online companies will do everything they can to protect your information, laws make it illegal for you to be exploited by scammers and identity thieves, but if you are dumb about giving your information out you will still be taken advantage of. Unfortunately, even if you are very safe you could still get burned, but the when that happens insurance (or bank guarantees or whatever) may be able to swoop in and save you. On the other hand you could lose a lot of money or credibility. But isn't it worth the risk, just like driving? I think so.

5000 days is about 13.7 years. I will be 35 when the web is 5000 days older. I'm looking forward to what the future will bring, are you?

My School's Princeton Review Rankings

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 23:17:00 +0000

CMC Princeton Review Rankings 2008
#2 Best Career/Job Placement Services
#4 Happiest Students
#5 School Runs Like Butter
#5 Best Quality of Life
#10 Students Happy with Financial Aid
#11 Most Politically Active Students
#11 Most Accessible Professors
#11 Dorms Like Palaces
#13 Lots of Beer
#15 Best Classroom Experience
#15 Best Campus Food
#18 Lots of Race/Class Interaction

Yup, that is where I go to school. We have great food, great dorms, plenty of beer, and financial aid money. We also have a lot of political debates in and out of class, plenty of conversations with our professors, and the school does basically everything it is supposed to do so overall we are quite happy. In fact it is like a $52000 a year country club where we also work hard to get good grades and leave after four years with a BA, and usually a job! Plus, because of the financial aid, it isn't just all rich white people. Its pretty much all an undergraduate could ask for, and much more.

It is strange that I am beginning my senior year in about a month, and even stranger that next May I will be leaving Claremont McKenna College. I'm excited about going to graduate school (though I still haven't figured out how I'm going to pay for applications), but it really will be sad to leave CMC. It has been my home for the last few years. It has been a lot of work, but also a great experience.

Luckily I have 2 more semesters, but unfortunately I will be in organic chemistry for both of them. Who knows, maybe by May I will be glad to be finished.

More Evidence for Evolution

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 31 Jul 2008 05:07:00 +0000

Okay, well "evidence" may be a stretch, but seriously, if Springfield won't allow teaching of creationism (aka "intelligent design") in schools, then surely no school district should.

Enjoy:

On a side note, this is my new desktop image:
http://www.pixelgirlpresents.com/images/desktops/Siebe_Warmoeskerken/Retro_Love_by_swiebel.jpg

I like it. It makes me feel simultaneously uncluttered, creative, and relaxed. Don't you want to go curl up in that chair?

Update: July 2008

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 06 Jul 2008 18:37:00 +0000

I wasn't planning on having another update post this month, but alas I slacking on my blogging again. It is easier for me to write a post about me and what is going on in my life than it is for me to compose something more thought out. I still have a few posts brewing, but every time I sit down to write them I get frustrated with the incoherency of my thoughts. I think what I really need are a few old-fashioned high school brain storming sessions. Majoring in a science has not helped with my creative writing ability...

In any case, for me this month (and next month?) is about meeting a few athletic goals:

I want to run 3 miles at a 9:30 minute/mile pace. I know that's pretty slow for some of my friends, but since I haven't run competitively since high school its a good goal for me. As soon as I get to that goal I am going to start running with a local running club called the Daybreakers. They meet at 5:00am... but I know if I start running with them I will be motivated to boost my pace and my mileage. I am logging my runs here (click "View my training log" at the top).

I want to be able to do 100 push ups. This is to help me build upper body strength... since I really don't have any. The four athletic activities I do most often are running, hiking, biking, and yoga - none of which help my arms out at all (well yoga may help a little). I used to swim a lot, but lately I have been more into my land-based workouts, so to balance it out I am going to do pushups! I was inspired by a user group forum at runningahead.com. My workout program can be found here if you want to join me.

Besides working out this month I have been working in the lab, a lot. Research is still going well, though, and I am excited to be starting a new project where I will be using a virus to trace axons within the brain. Its great because I get to integrate my passion for molecular biology and my love for neuroscience into one awesome experimental set up.

Somehow this month I have also found time for fun! You can ask any of the people I spent the 4th with about that. Maybe I had a little too much fun... but hey, we all need a little break sometimes, right?

Why I'm Voting No on Gay Marriage in November

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 22 Jun 2008 22:29:00 +0000

More satire. Of course I support gay marriage. Don't you know me at all?

This list is not new, but I still like it:

1. Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

2. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

4. Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

5. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

6. Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

7. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

8. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.

9. Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

Religulous

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 06:53:00 +0000

So a movie is coming out in October called Religulous (religion + ridiculous = religulous). Here is the trailer:

Honestly? I want to see it. I think I will enjoy watching it. I think I will laugh and smile and have a good time, especially if I am a theater full of other atheists/agnostics/skeptics, etc.

Though I also think it would be entertaining to watch it with a bunch of Christians. I can imagine them laughing at first saying "Oh those Buddhists, how can they believe something so crazy?" But then the movie would start showing the ridiculousness in what Christians believe and they would get so offended. "Oh no! We are so persecuted! Atheists are so horrible!" (Sidenote: according to this Gallop poll, atheists are no longer the most hated group. Its now Scientology.)

It reminds me of a quote:

"I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours." -Stephen Henry Roberts (1901-71)

More later... maybe I'll see the movie in a few months and write a review.

You say god hates fags? Well we hate you.

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 02:34:00 +0000

Showing their truly hateful colors, here is a video of some members of the Westboro Baptist Church protesting at the gay marriage celebration in San Francisco. At least they aren't protesting at a funeral this time. Plus I love the guys chanting "We're getting married."

If you can't see the video, you can go to it here.

I don't understand how some people can have such hate for others, especially in the name of a loving god. How can love and commitment be so wrong? Don't the Westboro Baptist Church people know that they are doing more harm than good? Not only are they driving people away from belief in their god, but they are tarnishing Christians everywhere.

Someone told me once that the Westboro Baptist Church protests at places like funerals, parades, and schools (they went to my brother's school once) in order to incite violence against themselves. Once someone punches them, as I'm sure plenty of people do, the 'church' sues. This is how they make money.

So if you are ever unlucky enough to be faced with these people do everything you can to avoid hurting them, no matter how much you want to. It would only help them in the end. Instead why don't we give them some food and water, after all it would be like heaping coals on their head (Proverbs 25:21-22). Of course I bet they wouldn't get the irony of their queer atheist enemy knowing the bible better than they do.

Why I'm Voting Republican

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 15 Jun 2008 01:09:00 +0000

Watch the video or else my title won't make any sense.

Update: June 2008

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sat, 14 Jun 2008 19:04:00 +0000

Well it is June 14^th and I haven’t posted since May, so I feel obliged to post a little update about my life and things coming soon (read: eventually) on this blog.

As far as the blog goes, I am working on a post about “intelligent design” in which I argue that it is bullshit and definitely not a scientific theory of any kind. Instead it is propaganda and an insult to intelligent people and to science. I am also going to post a few other things about my atheism and atheism in general. There will also be a revamped list of grad schools soon, I may post a draft of my personal statement, and maybe even a resume so I can get some feedback from you all if possible. Plus, you know, anything I think of randomly or find interesting online. If I manage to remember to post, that is.

And as far as my life in the last month? I worked as an intern for CMC alumni relations from the time school got out until June 1^st when alumni weekend was over. It was a great time. I met a man named Dan Vadala who graduated in 1948 (CMC was founded in 1946!!) as a ‘pacesetter.’ Pacesetters were CMC’s first students who came back from the war and went back to school. They only took 2-3 years to graduate because they had already taken some classes before fighting in WWII, and their education was paid for by the GI bill. Vadala stayed in the dorms during the weekend and enjoyed the parties.

Which reminds me, CMC alums are boozers. I swear the alums are bigger alkies (alcoholics) than the current students. They were cracking me up with stories of the old days when they would play large-scale pranks almost every day. Plus, it was founded as a men’s school (it was originally called Claremont Men’s College and there were no women until 1976) so it was basically one big frat for the first 30 years. Luckily for them there was a women’s school (Scripps) right across the street and it was cute to learn that many of the alums were still married to Scripps alums. Overall it was a good time. I was totally busy all weekend from 9am to LATE at night, but they paid me well and the alums were great so it was worth it.

For the remainder of June I have been working at the Claremont-Scripps-Pitzer Joint Science Department. I’m in the same lab that I worked in during the school year doing research on vocal learning. Things have been going well. The goal has been to do two experiments a week as well as doing two lesions a week, and some histology. Of course we have been having some trouble maintaining that pace… but if we keep the goals high then even if we fail we still did plenty. I love it. I love science, I love doing science, I love talking about science, I love reading about science. It’s pretty much awesome.

What else? Hmm, pretty much nothing. I live in the lab (some days I work from 8am to 11pm). And if I’m not in the lab I’m hanging out with people from the lab. For example, Thursday night the lab went over to Prof. Coleman’s house (my mentor) and I have never laughed so hard. It was a great time.

Okay, more to come soon I swear, but that’s all for now.

Grad Schools I may Apply To

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 16 May 2008 05:01:00 +0000

So I finished classes this morning then spent the rest of the day researching PhD programs in neuroscience. Here is the list of the programs I am looking at as of today:

(they are not listed in any particular order)

1. Mount Sinai
2. City of Hope
3. Harvard
4. Stanford
5. Yale
6. Duke
7. Columbia
8. Cornell
9. Dartmouth
10. Northwestern
11. Johns Hopkins
12. New York University
13. Massachusetts Institute of Technology
14. University of California San Deigo
15. University of California San Francisco
16. University of California Los Angeles
17. University of California Berkeley
18. University of Texas Southwestern
19. University of Michigan Ann Arbor
20. University of Washington
21. University of Chicago
22. University of Colorado Boulder
23. University of Washington St. Louis
24. University of Virginia
25. University of Wisconsin Madison
26. Medical College of Wisconsin
27. Georgetown University
28. Rockefeller University
29. Brandeis University

Is it ridiculous to apply to 29 schools?

My Favorite Song at the Moment

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 15 May 2008 03:44:00 +0000

Kimya Dawson - Tree Hugger

The flower said, "I wish I was a tree,"
The tree said, "I wish I could be
A different kind of tree,
The cat wished that it was a bee,
The turtle wished that it could fly
Really high into the sky,
Over rooftops and then dive
Deep into the sea.

And in the sea there is a fish,
A fish that has a secret wish,
A wish to be a big cactus
With a pink flower on it.
And in the sea there is a fish,
A fish that has a secret wish,
A wish to be a big cactus
With a pink flower on it.

And the flower
Would be its offering
Of love to the desert.
And the desert,
So dry and lonely,
That the critters all
Appreciate the effort.

Et le jackalope a dit
Je voudrais être un yeti
Pour voler dans la nuit
Et m'en aller loin d'ici
Mais le yeti a dit
Je voudrais être un monstre marin
Pour pouvoir rentrer dans la mer
De tous les requins.

And the rattlesnake said,
"I wish I had hands so
I could hug you like a man."
And then the cactus said,
"But don't you understand,
My skin is covered with sharp spikes
That'll stab you like a thousand knives.
A hug would be nice,
But hug my flower with your eyes."

The flower said, "I wish I was a tree,"
The tree said, "I wish I could be
A different kind of tree,
The cat wished that it was a bee,
The turtle wished that it could fly
Really high into the sky,
Over rooftops and then dive
Deep into the sea.

And in the sea there is a fish,
A fish that has a secret wish,
A wish to be a big cactus
With a pink flower on it.
And in the sea there is a fish,
A fish that has a secret wish,
A wish to be a big cactus
With a pink flower on it.

And the flower
Would be its offering
Of love to the desert.
And the desert,
So dry and lonely,
That the critters all
Appreciate the effort.

Plans

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 11 May 2008 03:03:00 +0000

I know, I know: I have been delinquent in posting. As anyone in school knows, its a crazy time of the semester. But its almost over!

This week I need to take a cell bio final, a neuropsych final, write a 15 pg lab report, analyze some data for an abstract for a conference, and turn in the abstract.

The 2 weeks after that I work as the personal assistant for a woman in the CMC development office. We are finishing the preparations for the CMC alumni weekend, then executing the weekend.

After that I spend the rest of my summer doing research. I am working in the lab that I have been in all year and continuing two separate experiments. Its going to be great because I will be running both experiments and have one helper (or minion) on each. Nicole will help me with the experiments involving a zebra finch brain region called CM while Alexis will help me with those involving mMAN. If all goes well we will be doing 4 experiments a week (two of each type) and by the end of the summer we will have enough data for two posters at the Society for Neuroscience conference and possibly enough data for two papers.

Oh, and my third summer job is caring for all of the animals in joint science. Plus I have to do jury duty sometime (ick).

In any case, my hope is that I will somehow have more time to write on this blog. Any topics you would like to see? I often sit down to write, can't think of anything to say, then get distracted and start stumbling. Not so productive... but oh so fun.

Another Quiz, this time: Religion

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 05:08:00 +0000

Which is the right religion for you? (new version)
created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Atheism

You scored as atheism. You are... an atheist, though you probably already knew this. Also, you probably have several people praying daily for your soul.

Instead of simply being "nonreligious," atheists strongly believe in the lack of existence of a higher being, or God.

Atheism

80%

Agnosticism

80%

Satanism

75%

Paganism

60%

Buddhism

50%

Hinduism

25%

Confucianism

25%

Christianity

15%

Islam

10%

Haruhism

Judaism

GRE Words I didn't Know until Today

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 02:45:00 +0000

So I seem to have come down with a bad case of senioritis, even though I am just a junior. I have a test tomorrow morning in neurobiology, an online quiz due tonight for neuropsychology, a presentation due Wednesday for my history class, and two overdue assignments for cell biology... but instead of doing ANY of those I spent the day studying for the GREs.

In case you aren't up on your graduate school requirements, the GRE is the entrance exam for graduate school. Med schools require the MCAT, law schools want LSAT scores, and business schools insist you take the GMAT - but if you want a masters (in something other than business) or a PhD in anything you are looking at the GRE. And since I want a PhD in either neuroscience or molecular biology I am looking at the GRE.

The GRE is basically a SAT for college students - in fact it is published by the same company that puts out the SAT. It has a verbal section, a math section, and an analytical writing section each of which is worth 800 points. And, of course, there are subject tests (I'll be taking one in biology).

Anyway, the GRE math section is supposedly easy but the verbal section is notoriously brutal. At first I thought, "Whatever, how hard can it be?" Well I took a diagnostic test today and let me tell you, its hard.

Here is an example of the words I didn’t know before today:

phlegmatic- calm, sluggish, unemotional, stoic

quaff- to drink deeply

quotidian- occurring or recurring daily, commonplace

loquacious- extremely talkative

prolix- long-winded, verbose

inimical- damaging, harmful, injurious, hostile, unfriendly

inimitable- one of a kind, peerless

filigree- an ornamental work, especially of delicate lacelike patterns, resembling such a pattern

denigrate- blacken, belittle, sully, defame, disparage

pillory- to punish, hold up to public scorn

chary- wary, cautious, sparing

puerile- childish, immature

inchoate- in an initial stage, not fully formed

peripatetic- itinerant, traveling, nomadic

itinerant- to travel from place to place

tyro- a novice, beginner in learning

nascent- coming into being; in early development stages

bucolic- rustic and pastoral, characteristic of rural areas and their inhabitants

cadge- to sponge, beg, or mooch

And in case that wasn't bad enough, there are many secondary definitions of everyday words that make the test even more confusing. For example:

brook- to tolerate, endure, countenance

nice- exacting, extremely or even excessively precise; done with delicacy or skill

list- to tilt or lean to one side

quail- to shrink back in fear, lose courage

prize- to pry, to press or force with a lever

flag- to sag or droop, to become spiritless; to decline

flip- sarcastic, impertinent

die- a tool used for shaping

mince- pronounce or speak affectedly or too carefully, euphemize, take tiny steps, tiptoe

So are you ready to take the test? I know I'm not. There are hundreds, maybe even over 1000 more words that I don't know that could show up on the test. I have plenty more GRE studying to do... but I guess I should do my more immediate work first. Neurobiology here I come!

Personality Test

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 30 Mar 2008 05:09:00 +0000

I just took a Meyers-Briggs personality test, and I think the results were spot-on. This isn't the first time that I have gotten this same result (INFJ) on this type of personality test, so I guess it is probably true. I don' t expect that you would be interested in reading this, but just in case I thought I'd post it. Besides it, I would like to be able to look back at it later.

INFJ

INFJs are future oriented, and direct their insight and inspiration toward the understanding of themselves and thereby human nature. Their work mirrors their integrity, and it needs to reflect their inner ideals. Solitude and an opportunity to concentrate thoroughly on what counts most is important to them. INFJs prefer to quietly exert their influence. They have deeply felt compassion, and they desire harmony with others. INFJs understand the complexities existing within people and among them. They are at their best concentrating on their ideas, ideals, and inspirations.

Living

INFJ children have two sides. They can be very much involved in the world of people, as well as quiet, imaginative, and in their own world. They are usually gentle and abhor violence. As teenager, INFJs look for a small group of people who understand and appreciate them. Without this support, they can feel isolated from others. INFJs who do not find a supportive social group may find the teen years to be somewhat difficult for them because of peer pressure to be popular and activity oriented. They are not likely to enjoy large parties, but prefer intimate groups of close and long-standing friends.

Many INFJs who have the opportunity to gravitate toward higher education where they often find their niche. With their intellectual bent, they are led to endeavors that allow them to deal with theory and complexity. Professors often spot their intellectual inclination and encourage it.

INFJs often settle early into a career choice and diligently apply themselves to the career's requirements. This same diligent pattern applies when selecting other important things in their lives, such as where to live, who to marry, and what activities are worthy of their dedication.

INFJs have an internal picture of how they would like their work to contribute to the general good. If they are in an appropriate career area, INFJs may reap the rewards of their insight and hard work. Because of their future-focus, their people orientation, and their push toward task completion, they may rise to positions of responsibility.

Learning

INFJs have a strong love of learning, and they tend to do well academically. Through persistence, diligence, and conscientiousness, they complete their assignments on time. They are likely to enjoy research and will go great lengths to find answers.

INFJs enjoy investigating the possibilities and meanings beyond the actual facts and realities. Reading holds a particular fascination for them because it allows them to have quiet reflection time and engages their imagination. They also like the written word (and rely on it more than the spoken word) since it is usually better structured and more coherent with a ready-made framework.

INFJs write and communicate well because they want to formulate their ideas clearly. They place high regard on their reader and audience. They seek to communicate their ideals to others. When their ideals need to be championed, they speak up in an enthusiastic and impassioned way.

As students, INFJs prefer learning from teachers whom they both like and admire, and who give them personal attention. INFJs are often 'model' students. They are quiet and orderly, reflective and thoughtful, and sincerely want to please their teachers and learn the right thing. They learn best from others but want time to assimilate material by themselves.

INFJs will go beyond what has been presented and often mull material over in their minds. Occasionally they will discuss ruminations with others in order to learn even more. They particularly like the more conceptual and theoretical classes, therefore, higher education is comfortable to them.

Working

INFJs tend to be devoted to what they believe in and seek work where their needs, values, and ideals can be deeply engaged. They move on the wave of their inspirations and are determined to see that their values are worked out in their lives. They will work toward their goals individually and, when needed, will put together a team of other highly dedicated people like themselves. They are personal be with others, working with integrity and consistency, and they follow through on their commitments. INFJs, while concentrating on what is important to them, may ignore the political ramifications of their actions. They can be surprised by the necessity of being political and usually resent that aspect of organizational life. Being able to talk honestly and comfortably to people at work is much more important to them than 'playing games.'

INFJs orient themselves toward their goals using a personal, values-based framework. They do not 'advertise' their values and priorities because they believe in harmony and positive relationships. However, one would do well not to underestimate the amount of perseverance, energy, and time INFJs give to their priorities. What they do, they do with an almost religious intensity.

The INFJ external environment may be only partially organised. Their internal environment, by contrast, is anything but haphazard. Their ideas need to fit into a coherent whole that has the pieces in place. Organization of the internal world takes precedence over organization of external world.

INFJs prefer occupations that focus on the big picture, involve conceptual awareness, and lead to a better understanding of the spiritual, emotional, or future needs of people. They want their work to have impact and meaning and for it to bring them admiration and respect.

While INFJs can and do enter all occupations, some are more appealing to them than others. These include clergy, education consultant, English teacher, fine arts teacher, librarian, psychiatrist, psychologist, scientist, social worker, and other occupations that allow INFJs an opportunity to make their own creative contribution.

Leading

INFJs lead through their quiet yet persistent and determined effort toward long-range goals for themselves, others and their organizations. In working toward their vision, they win cooperation rather than demand it. INFJs work to make their insights real and are able to inspire others with their ideals. They use a low-key, soft, yet intense and determined course of action. When they do not directly lead others, they may still act as facilitators between people. In meetings, they focus on both people and new ideas.

Leisure

Leisure-time pursuits for INFJs are often solitary or involve the company of others who are particularly important to them. Sitting around with dear friends discussing feelings can be very special to INFJs. INFJs are likely to have friends of long standing rather than make many new acquaintances. They may meet with their friends fairly consistently to share what is happening in their lives. It is sometimes difficult for others to break into this circle. These deep friendships are important, even though INFJs may not share much directly about themselves.

Loving

For INFJs, 'still waters run deep.' They tend to become attracted to someone special and prefer this one deep relationship over many superficial ones. The depth of involvement and feeling that the INFJ has toward loved ones is only partially communicated outward. At times, when alone, INFJs become truly in touch with the depth of the love they have for their partner. They may not openly demonstrate or even verbalize their intense feelings. INFJs often have an ideal standard of what love is. They hold to their ideal and are disappointed when, inevitably, their relationship and/or mate reveals flaws. INFJs enjoy sharing activities like a regular 'date,' revisiting the place where they first met their mates, or doing other symbolic things that help to continue and confirm the existence of the bond that they feel for their partner.

INFJs want to give love and to be loved. They enter into relationships just to be cared for, even when the person is not right for them and they suspect it. However, when they meet that special person, they are quick to get into the relationship and make it a serious one. They will end their other relationships in order to pursue their loved one. They become very focused, intense, and direct in that pursuit.

INFJs, when scorned, take it personally and retreat inward. They may obsess about the relationship and their role in its failure. One INFJ explained, 'people can do the most outrageous things, yet I blame myself for triggering their behaviour or not recognizing it. I see myself as responsible for relationships. Other people can dismiss them --- I'm not able to.' INFJs may blame themselves and experience a period of mourning. If they do not marshall their resources, externalized their feelings, and take risks to move on, they may experience a long periods of self-examination.

INFJ Relationships

INFJs are warm and affirming people who are usually also deep and complex. They're likely to seek out and promote relationships that are intense and meaningful. They tend to be perfectionists, and are always striving for the Ultimate Relationship. For the most part, this is a positive feature, but sometimes works against the INFJ if they fall into the habit of moving from relationship to relationship, always in search of a more perfect partner. In general, the INFJ is a deeply warm and caring person who is highly invested in the health of their close relationships, and puts forth a lot of effort to make them positive. They are valued by those close to them for these special qualities. They seek long-term, lifelong relationships, although they don't always find them.

INFJ Strengths

• Warm and affirming by nature

• Dedicated to achieving the ultimate relationship

• Sensitive and concerned for others' feelings

• Usually have good communication skills, especially written

• Take their commitments very seriously, and seek lifelong relationships

• Have very high expectations for themselves and others (both a strength and weakness)

• Good listeners

• Are able to move on after a relationship has ended (once they're sure it's over)

INFJ Weaknesses

• Tendency to hold back part of themselves

• Not good with money or practical day-to-day life necessities

• Extreme dislike of conflict and criticism

• Have very high expectations for themselves and others (both a strength and weakness)

• Have difficulty leaving a bad relationship

INFJs as Lovers

INFJs are warm, considerate partners who feel great depth of love for their partners. They enjoy showing this love, and want to receive affirmation back from their mates.

They are perfectionists, constantly striving to achieve the Perfect Relationship. This can sometimes be frustrating to their mates, who may feel put upon by the INFJs demanding perfectionism. However, it may also be greatly appreciated, because it indicates a sincere commitment to the relationship, and a depth of caring which is not usually present in other types.

Sexually, INFJs view intimacy as a nearly spiritual experience. They embrace the opportunity to bond heart and soul with their mates. As service-oriented individuals, it's very important to them that their mates are happy. Intimacy is an opportunity for the INFJ to selflessly give their love, and experience it in a tangible way.

Although two well-developed individuals of any type can enjoy a healthy relationship, INFJ's natural partner is the ENTP, or the ENFP. INFJ's dominant function of Introverted Intuition is best matched with a personality type that is dominated by Extraverted Intuition.

INFJs as Parents

INFJs usually make warm and caring parents. Their goal is to help their children become adults who know the difference between right and wrong, and who are independent, growth-oriented individuals.

Along the path to that goal they are generally very warm and caring, and are likely to treat their children as individuals who have a voice in family decisions. They want their children to be able to think for themselves, and make the right decisions. They also can be quite demanding on their children, and may have very high expectations for their behavior. Although they are generally soft-spoken and gentle, they may become stubborn and sharp-tongued at times when their expectations aren't met, or when under a lot of stress.

INFJs take their parenting role with ultimate seriousness. They will make sacrifices for the sake of their children without a second thought, and without remorse. Passing on their values to their children is a serious priority in their lives. Children of INFJs remember their parents fondly as warm, patient, and inspirational.

INFJs as Friends

Although the INFJ is likely to put friends behind their God and their families in terms of importance, they do value their friendships. As idealists who have strong value systems, INFJs seek authenticity and depth in their close relationships, and especially value people who can see and appreciate the INFJ for who they are and what they stand for.

The INFJ is likely to spend a lot of time socializing with family members. If they are religious, they probably are social with members of their religious community. After that, the INFJ may have friends represented from any of the personality types. They are usually extremely intuitive individuals, who will have no patience for anyone they feel is dishonest or corrupt. They'll have no interest in being around these kinds of people.

All kinds of people are drawn towards the INFJ. They are usually quite popular, although they may be unaware of it themselves, because they don't place a lot of importance on it.

The INFJ is valued by their close friends for their warmth and consideration, their new and interesting ways of looking at things, and for their ability to inspire and motivate others to be the best that they can be.

My Life Goals (In No Particular Order)

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 23:42:00 +0000

Get PhD

Have own lab

Win Nobel Prize

Consistently Eat Healthy

Consistently Stay Fit

- Run

- Swim

- Bike

- Weights

- Yoga

- Hiking/Backpacking

- Snowboarding

- Surfing?

- Scuba Diving?

- Do one or more triathlons

- Do one or more 5K and 10K races

Get Scuba Diving Certification

Go Skydiving

See the world

- Visit every continent

- Visit Japan

- Visit Hong Kong

- Visit New Zealand

- Visit Australia

- Visit Britain

- Visit France

- Visit Spain

- Visit Germany

- Visit Amsterdam

- Visit Italy

- Visit Greece

- Visit Egypt

- Somewhere in Africa (Humanitarian work in Tanzania?)

- Somewhere in South America (Humanitarian work in Chile?)

- Go to Alaska

- Go on a Multinational Cruise

Live Abroad

Speak Spanish Fluently

Live on a Beach

Live Simply

Be an Interesting Person

Be Environmentally Responsible

- Eat Local when Possible

- Don’t Eat Meat

- Recycle

- Use Less Energy

- Use Less Fossil Fuels

- Buy from Environmentally Responsible Companies

Have a Dog

Have a Parrot

Have Kids?

- Put Kids in Good Schools

- Make them Play Instruments

- Make them Learn a Language

- Make them Play Sports

- Raise them to be Morally Responsible Atheists

- Know them, Love them, and Support them

Donate Money to Worthy Charities

Do Humanitarian Work More Often

See Everything Possible

Experience Everything Possible

Know Everything Possible