I am travelling to office right now and just overheard a conversation between two random passengers in the metro. Couldn’t help myself from sharing it.

Both passenger 1 (P1) and passenger 2 (P2) were standing beside each other, and P1 kept sleeping off on P2′s shoulder.

P2: Bhaisaab, chummi loge kya? Raat ko kya kar rahe the? (Sir, are you planning to kiss me? What were you up to, last night?)

P1: Bahut subah ko nikalna padta hai paapi pet ke liye. Ek do baar jhapkiyan lag hi jaati hain. Sorry. (I have to leave home really early for work. At times do get droopy. I am sorry.)

P2: Raat kya apni madam ke saath guzaari hai? Sone ko mila hi nahin lagta hai. (Did you spend the night with your wife? You didn’t get to sleep at all, it seems.)

P1: Madam toh thi. Aur mujhe toh laga meri hi thi. Lekin agar aap ko raat mein chain se neend aayi thi, toh ab main sure nahin hoon. (Wife was surely there. And I was under the impression that she was mine. But since you say you had a peaceful sleep last night, now I am not so sure.)

After this, you can only imagine how hard the rest of the passengers had started laughing. The poor guy’s face was all crimson with embarrassment and anger. Thankfully he was sane enough not to pursue it anymore.

Lost as a lover.

Lost as a friend.

Lost as a confidante.

Lost as a guide.

Lost as a student.

Lost one.

Lost all.

A. Five things in my room

1. There’s a huge red bean bag which is my absolutely favorite place to sit on. I had bought this one around 6 months back, and I have been over-using (read: abusing) it every single day since then. It’s comfortable, and you tend to get so deep into it when you sit that it almost feels like snuggling up in your loved one’s lap.
2. 3 months ago, I had traveled to Mumbai. That’s when I had packed up my suitcase. However, since I have returned, I have been too lazy to clear out the case, and I have been living out of it since then.
3. Well, I do not have a huge king-sized bed. Rather, it’s a 3″x6″ divan that’s easily functional as a bed. Big enough for one, small enough to snuggle up with +1
4. A bottle of Mountain Dew has been a guest in my room for over a month now. I think, long long time ago, it was bought to accompany the vodka. Unfortunately the bottle never made it out of my room. Neither do I have any idea how long more does it plan to be my house guest.
5. Two wooden racks that house a range of stuffs like my wireless router, a telephone, a coconut, vaseline, 2 charging points, a dead wireless mouse, a can of deodorant, my books for GMAT, Zippo lighter fuel, Parachute hair oil, a ladies’ shoe shaped piggy bank, hair cream, a can of insect killer spray, mosquito repellant, a bunch of news papers, hair gel, a few empty packets of cigarettes, 3-4 ear phones of mine, the iPod Touch, the netbook, ashtray… well, you do get the drift!

Five things in my bag

This is gonna be easy. I don’t carry much stuff in my bag, normally. Anyway, here goes the list -

1. Blackberry phone charger
2. Wireless Mouse
3. Ear Buds
4. Passport (yeah, I tend to carry my passport to everywhere I go)
5. My boarding passes from my recent trip to Lucknow

Five things in my wallet

1. 232 rupees
2. Myriad of Card – 2 credit cards, 4 debit cards, 1 medical insurance card, 1 metro card, 2 identification cards, 1 PAN card, and quite a few visiting cards.
3. A bunch of passport sized photographs that I keep needing, every now and then.
4. No bills. Well, I do collect my bills, but every weekend I sort them out. I file the ones I need, and chuck the useless ones. Yeah, I guess I am organized when it comes to my wallet.
5. Nah, I got absolutely nothing else in my wallet :-p

Five most favorite things about my house

1. The bean bag that I had mentioned above, for sure.
2. The Inverter. In Ghaziabad, we face power cuts for almost 8 hours a day. And without the inverter, the house would have been a living hell.
3. The table-chair combo I sit in. This is my haven. This is where I play games, watch movies (porno or otherwise), code websites, and even video chat with Saxi.
4. The pot. Innumerable ideas have cropped up in my head while at the pot. That’s also where I read the newspaper, reply to my morning emails.
5. The kitchen. How could I skip that. I love my kitchen and allow no one to tread in there. That’s my personal space. You want something? Just let me know. But please don’t even try to get something done on your own, in my kitchen.

Five rules of the house

I don’t really have many. But yeah, whatever I got, here they are -

1. If the house has been cleaned in the last 1 hour, you are not allowed to walk with your slippers on.
2. Waste should be left at nowhere but in the waste basket.
3. No one, other than me, is allowed in the kitchen.
4. This one is specifically for my roomie, since he eats paan (beetel leaf). No beetel juice is allowed to be discharged anywhere other than the seldom-used basin. And it also should be thoroughly cleaned every week.
5. I don’t care if you smoke or not. If you are meeting me at my house, at least I should be allowed to smoke.

That is it, I guess. I started this tag so late, that I don’t really know anyone who hasn’t been tagged yet. Anyway, in case you fancy, please do take it up.

Haven’t slept for a second since I woke up today at 9 in the morning. I had all the plans to catch a few winks while in the flight, but I screwed up that plan too by giving in to the temptation of Costa Coffee’s Cafe Mochá before the boarding. What more, it’s just a 50-minutes flight. So, don’t even have much time to keep trying to sleep. So, thought of putting up another blog post.

Yes, I know I haven’t been putting anything too worthwhile to read, on my blog. But then, trust me, my long hiatus from writing was majorly because I have been tired of trying to write things that are ‘meaningful’. Being a journallist (or rather a semi-journalist), you end up swimming in ‘content’ throughout the day. So, once I get some free time for myself, I am too saturated to still try and make some sense. That’s why I decided to go back to how I used to blog in my premature days, some 7 years back. Back in those, I used to blog about my life, my college, professors, friends and anything else that I had in my mind. And I am yearning to go back to those days. I wanna die every single moment, only to reborn once again.

One special word for my dear friend Moo. Yes, I do remember that I have a tag to honor. Just let me get to my PC with some free time in hand, and I’ll surely put it up.

Okay, the pilot has already announced that it’s time to land. It’s time to sign off now, I guess. Rest assured, will surely try my best to put up more blog posts while I am in Lucknow. Of course, we have Tundye ke Kebabs and loads of weed waiting for us :-p

By the way, here’s a pic of the people with whom I am traveling to Lucknow. Will introduce all of them to you, some other day. Right now this crazy looking air hostess is haggling my ass to switch my phone off.

So long!

As the time passes, Delhi metro has started to get crazier, and more crowded than ever. People seem to be oozing out of the metros off every single orifice the trains have got. There are people stamping on your feet, and then there are others rubbing their crotches with yours. Worse times are when the friction actually results into a hard-on, irrespective of who the effect is exhibited on.

You’d think that the roads must have gotten cleared out because of the countless flyovers (thanks to CWG) and the heavy traffic on the metro rails. Well, you couldn’t have been more wrong. I remember once taking the auto to the office (around 15kms took me over 2 hours) because I refused to go through the pain of trudging through a line of people that was 2 stories high! Yes, you read that right. I have seen people standing in lines that can’t be contained in one floor, but TWO floors and still trickling some more!

It doesn’t matter how many modes of transport you build. Neither does it matter how many roads are built. The ‘crowd’ will simply keep growing forever! And the joke seems to be on me. I have been brought up mostly in Bombay. It’s the city of my dreams. My home. And yet, 7 years out of the city, and I get suffocated when I go back. The trains are so crowded that people travel hanging on the windows and perched on the roof! The roads are traffucked (I hope you got the word) on the national highway, even at 3 o’clock in the morning! And it’s because of this mayhem that I still shudder at the very thought of moving back to that city. And here I am, in Delhi, geting squished and squashed by every other random guy on the road! I so wanna call it quits and run back to the little town called Jamshedpur where I graduated. I miss the air, miss the spanking clean and clear roads. Miss the bike rides in the heart of the city, easily at a speed of 80kmph. And most of all, I miss the space.

I wonder how the claustrophobics travel in metros like Delhi & Bombay!

I guess it’s high time we took the concept of family planning super seriously. It’s time we concentrate on not just sex education, but also condition the Indian crowd about the idea of adoption. With big wigs like Warren Buffet and the Gates couple urging people to donate their wealth, we should also urge stalwarts like Brangelina and Sushmita Sen to encourage others to adopt!

Of course, I must admit that rate of adoption is much higher today than it was, a decade ago. But the mentality still needs to evolve a bit more. Agreed there isn’t much stigma, these days, attached to the scenario when a couple adopts because they don’t succeed having babies on their own (reasons vary from impotency, medical complications to women’s fear of being MIA from work for a while). But the fact is, not many would still wish to adopt on their own. Not many would refuse to procreate decisively. Not many would adopt just because they want to.

People, seriously, whip that little condom out, and keep your little guy’s head covered every time you are out there to swim. It’s better than creating homes for the babies that don’t have it, than creating babies for your homes that are empty.

And yes, the most important reason of all. I want the next generation to travel comfortably, in Delhi metro rails!

And yet you call me a sexist if I raise an eyebrow seeing two 30 year old men trudging along the walkway, holding each other’s hands and occassionally smiling at each other?

My answer to the naysayers? “Santa is not real, and yet we love opening up his presents!”

Have a wonderful weekend

Today morning, while on my way to the office, I was listening to a podcast by a guy called Savage Love. Too corny, eh? Well, I am not sure if that’s his real name. But then, what the heck!

Anyway, the point is, it was apparently a podcast where he dished out relationship advices to his listeners. There was this one female who had called up and said that she had a friend who is visibly abusive to his girlfriend. She said that he not just verbally abused her in front of his friends, but also was hardly ever ‘nice’ to her. Apparently he had never done anything nice for her other than cooking for her when she came home from office. That too she suspected he did because he’d be back home earlier and loved to cook, in general. How did she reach to this conclusion? Because more often than not he would never wait up for his girlfriend to have his dinner.

Being friends to both of them, she wasn’t sure how would she react.

Now, another incident. I was recently having a debate (sorts) with one of my lady friends where the discussion was that if you are friends with one person, and you end up being friends with the partner too (just by extension of being friends with the former), where would your loyalty lie with?

The reason I interconnected the second incident, with the first, was because I felt the ‘caller’ was in a dilemma because she could not find an answer to the second question. The fact that she was originally friends with the guy, and that there’s no wrong/injustice done “to him”, she wasn’t sure where her responsibilities lied. And hence needed help to figure out a plausible decision.

What I think about the issue is not important at all. Because, personally, I think one’s line of action shouldn’t depend on your ‘loyalty’ at all. It is important to understand and accept the fact that your near and dear ones can be wrong too! What’s important is to stick to what is right! Of course, there’s always the question of misplaced righteousness. But let’s keep that outside the scope of this blog post.

Anyway, where were we? Yes, sense of “loyalty”! Have you ever faced a dilemma like this, in your life?

I was just having a word with Sakshi last night, and I remember lecturing her about the concept of ‘personal rights’. I had asked her how would she react if she found out her own sister had run away to get married. And trust me, her response was no ‘lover dovey’ one. And I remember lecturing her about how people should have the right to do whatever they want with their lives, however they want!

But today morning, while listening to the podcast, all of that started to come back to me. I wondered, if I myself ever get into a situation like that, (I wouldn’t have the ‘loyalty’ dilemme for sure) I don’t know whether I am supposed to stand up for his girlfriend, or just let it go because it was their lives, and didn’t concern me? I don’t really know! Of course, I would hate to see the girl abused like that. But I wouldn’t know if that lies within my realm of discussion. Or should I make it clear that I didn’t appreciate that kind of behavior in my presence; what they do behind their doors wasn’t my concern? Shouldn’t I be reaching out to the girl? Or is it just a misplaced sense of righteousness of mine? Sheesh! That did end up falling within the scope of this blog post!

So, 3G finally gets launched by all the mobile operators around the country! And I must say, I have been looking to use 3G for over 2 years now, and had been tempted to buy a 3G enabled phone for almost as long. So, once the 3G spectrum started to get auctioned off, I just had to buy a compatible phone. And thus enters Blackberry 9870 in my life (screenshot above).

Well, I have been hooked onto mobile Internet right since the time I was in college. One of the major reasons being, I had no computer in college, and the mobile was my only gateway to the world of the web. But then, the ease with which I could stay connected with the world got me hooked onto the habit. I could never let it go. With time came better bandwidth, more complicated phones, and more functions on-the-go. Some of the things I have done using my phone itself are -

1. Check and reply to emails
2. Write blog posts (the way I am doing now)
3. Chat with friends and family on GTalk, WhatsApp and BBM
4. Control my computer’s mouse movement because I am too lazy to get up and change the track.
5. Upload pictures on Twitter and Facebook the moment I click them.
6. Write 1700 to 5000 word articles on-the-go
7. Use Google Maps to get directions to places I have never been
8. Find out restaurants currently available around me, their cuisines, pricings and reviews.
9. Have read the book reviews on-the-go before purchasing a book I fancied, at the bookstore itself
10. If there’s a signboard whose language I didn’t understand, I’d click and upload a pic of the same on Twitter and my followers would translate it for me
11. Phonesex
12. Dictionary. Any time. Any where.
13. Even moderate comments on my blogs the moment they appear

Thus, you see, it’s no wonder that I am as good as lost if I don’t have my Blackberry with me, or if my mobile Internet network gets patchy at times. My phone’s presence is almost my own existence!

So, how about you? Do you use mobile Internet? What are the varied uses have you discovered of mobile Internet?

For the same cause, we had been on the lookout to partner with a couple of NGOs who would help us reach the last mile. That is, we needed someone who had the experience to distribute the blankets to ones who need them. On top of that, we also needed a NGO to handle the donations that came in, to keep the system transparent and instill faith in the hearts of the donors.

On one such conversation, I managed to come across a NGO who showed a lot of interest in partnering with us, and furthering our cause. But, there was a twist. Apparently, the cause we were fighting for, was not the cause they were interested in. They were the ones who looked after solving administration and water problems for the poor. And hence, in their bid to help us, the Director of the NGO suggested us to present a fake invoice for water pumps, and also furnish fake images of new water pumps being installed, so that he could show it in his books that the money that got collected were used in installing water pumps in water ridden areas.

No, we weren’t ready to negotiate with the truth, even if that meant our quest stayed unfinished. We decided to look elsewhere. But this particular incident made me wonder the quality of NGOs who operate in this country, who are ready to bend the rules just so that they could show more “activity” within their organisation, in their attempt to win some self-initiated competition with other NGOs in the vicinity. And mind you, these are his words. I could have easily recorded the audio and shared it as a podcast with this blog post. But, it is not a sting operation. It’s an effort to be a better human. It’s an effort to improve the society in general, and live a healthy life. While I understand that bending that piece of principle would have immensely helped our cause. But what hurt me was the ease with which the guy was ready to bend. Maybe my impressions are misplaced. Maybe I am too uptight. But I ain’t sorry for not following up on that “partnership”.

How about you? How would you have reacted in my shoes? Would you have taken up the offer?

The idea is simple. You gotta write your top 3 preferences on 7 things about yourself. And well, here goes mine -

3 places I would pack my travel bag for

I must admit, I love traveling. But somehow, it hasn’t really happened much in my life. Somehow, me and my parents (haven’t visited many places with friends. Wasn’t allowed.) have always gone to the cliched places just for the sake of putting a marker on that part of Geography. And since the time I have been working on my own, with no parents to shove their cane up my ass, I somehow miss home so much that that is where I always end up going, every time a chance to travel lands in.

1. Mumbai - Understandably, Mumbai ranks the top most in my traveling destination. After all, that is where my heart is.
2. Kanyakumari - I am a devout of Swami Vivekananda. Yes, that’s true. And I have always been wanting to visit the Vivekananda Temple in Kanyakumari, all my life. Somehow, never managed to do it.
3. Leh & Ladakh - It’s been a per dream of mine. To drive to Leh & Ladakh. And now that I am planning to buy a new car, I think I am gonna make it happen real quick.

3 on-screen characters I love to watch

1. Spiderman - I am a huge comic book heroes fan. And no one can ever beat Spiderman in that department.
2. Batman (in The Dark Knight) - I had missed an express train once, because I was watching this movie in the theater. Best superhero movie ever. PERIOD.
3. Byomkesh Bakshi - This amazing Sharadindu Bandopadhyay character has been immortalized by Rajit Kapur.

3 moods that describe me best

Umm…this is the toughest one to answer, but I shall try my best.

1. Sulky - I guess, in the last couple of months, the mood that has dominated me the most is being sulky. Anyway, I am over it now, I hope.
2. Contagiously happy - Yes, at times I can be so happy that the contagiousness of it can light up everyone’s eye.
3. Sarcastic - Be wary of my sarcasm. If I am in the mood, there’s nowhere you can hide. Don’t believe me? Ask Kashvi (sadly, she has a private blog).

3 things I always think of doing on a weekend – but never did

1. Setting up my house - Yes, it’s been a month since I came to Delhi, and still I haven’t managed to sort out the kitchen and the living room. Neither have I managed to employ a domestic help, or buy a fridge, a cooking stove, a washing machine, blah blah blah…
2. Take out Sakshi to a disco theque - Well, I admit I am never a dance person, and neither have I visited a lot of discs. But anyway, even though I have managed to go to a couple, none of them were with my own girlfriend. How sad could that be?
3. None - Yes, other than these, I have done almost everything I have ever wanted to do.

3 things from my childhood that I can’t forget

1. The one that would top the list is when I was just 2 years old, and I would shit outside the house, on top of a drain, just because I wouldn’t be able to widen my legs enough to sit on the eastern style toilets. And when I would be done, I would shout out to my grandfather to clean me up. Later he had not only taught me how to help myself, but also said that I could even wash off my hands with the coal ash, rather than soap! Damn, I miss him!
2. I have been caught masturbating – not once, not twice, but innumerable times – by my father, my mother, my granny, and even my neighbor’s sister! Yeah, I started young.
3. Do you think I would ever forget this hostel incident?

3 things I would never say no to

1. Gadgets - Yes. Be it mobile phones, netbooks, cameras, or even a robotic sweeper – I want them all!
2. Food - I am a huge foodie, and I get hunger pangs every moment, every place, and every day of the year. I love good food.
3. Sex - As long as it’s with those I wanna do it with

3 things I can’t live without

1. My Blackberry - It had to make the top of the list. A no-brainer.
2. A laptop/A netbook - Just the berry ain’t really enough, you know.
3. Food - Gimme a all-you-can-eat-and-drink coupon to any good pub or a coffee shop, and the above, and I shall be off to heaven for every single day of my life!

3 people I’d like to Tag

Would have tagged Sakshi, but then there’s no point. She already got tagged by Cathy and Chanz.

1. Ki
2. Sorcerer
3. Kashvi (even though I know she hardly ever takes up tags)

1. If you married the last person you texted, what would your last name be?
   Pal. (Guys normally don’t change their surnames after they get married, do they? Or am I being a sexist here?)
2. Were you happy when you woke up today?
   Not exactly.
3. What’s something that can always make you feel better? When did you need it last?
   A session of WarCraft with my mates. I have needed it quite a few times. But haven’t gotten a chance to play for a while now.
4. What are you excited for?
   New job, maybe. Maybe I’ll get married soon. Maybe I won’t. Not sure.
5. What were you doing yesterday?
   New home. So lots of carpentry job. Had to administer most of it. Then met up with Sakshi and a friend of hers. It was her birthday, yesterday.
6. What’s the last thing you put in your mouth?
   Coffee.
7. Have a best friend(s)?
   A couple, yeah.
8. Are you scared to fall in love?
   I am scared I fall in love too often.
9. Do you think teenagers can be in love?
   Yes, they can surely be in love. It’s a shame that more than 95% of it is just everything but love.
10. Last person you wanted to punch in the face?
    R. Any goddamned given day!
11. What do you want right now?
    I wanna be able to grow artificial spines, for people.
12. Who was the last person you took a picture with?
    Sakshi.
13. Are you single/taken/heartbroken/or confused?
    I ain’t confused. I can say that much.
14. When was the last time you cried?
    A couple of months ago, I guess.
15. Do you have a good relationship with your parents?
    Should pass on the names and phone numbers of my partners, to get a more accurate answer.
16. Do you find it hard to trust others?
    Trust? What’s that?
17. I bet you miss somebody right now..
    I almost always do.
18. Can you honestly say you’re okay right now?
    Nah, I ain’t. I am good.
19. Tell me what’s on your mind.
    Taking up this tag was a bad decision. It’s too fucking long.
20. What are you looking forward to in the next three months?
    How about a hike? And maybe a UK trip thrown in?
21. Have you ever worn the opposite sex’s clothing?
    Nah. Don’t think so.
22. When did you last talk to your number 1 top friend?
    “number 1 top friend”? Lolz! My friendships have a flat structure. No heirarchy.
23. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell anything to?
    Anything, yes. Everything, no.
24. How’s your heart?
    Still beating. Not sure whether that’s fortunate, or unfortunate.
25. Have you ever felt like you weren’t important?
    Ohh… zillions of times.
26. Do you think somebody’s in love with you?
    I know.
27. What are you planning on doing after this?
    Sign out from office. Walk to India Gate. Get some fresh air. Sit for a while. Grab a ice cream, or two. Switch off my phone. And just settle into a trance.
28. When will your next kiss take place?
    My lips are always ready. It’s the other pair that’s the rarest. Sigh.
29. Have you told anybody you loved them today?
    No.
30. Who do you not get along with?
    R and G should top the list. Lately joined by M too.
31. What are you wearing right now?
    A pair of jeans, converse shoes, boxers and a T-shirt.
32. Are you wasting your time on the person you like?
    It ain’t called wastage. It’s called ‘experience’.
33. How did you feel when you woke up?
    The ‘Rush’. Rush to answer to the Nature’s call, you know.
34. Do you wish someone would call or text you right now?
    Right now, sure. But not while I am having my little ‘me time’ at the India Gate.
35. Do you crack your knuckles?
    When I am tensed up.
36. What were you doing yesterday at midnight?
    Fighting, on SMS.
37. Who’s the first B in your contacts?
    Bharat Rai Sharma.
38. When was the last time you laughed really hard?
    The night before.
39. Last awkward moment?
    When I proposed. That was the night before.
40. Are you afraid of the dark?
    Used to be. Not anymore. Check out this post to know why.
41. Do you have good vision?
    I wear spectacle. Cylindrical power. Go figure.
42. Have you ever tripped someone?
    Not intentionally.
43. Have you ever slapped someone?
    Yup. Almost 10 years back.
44. Do you laugh off embarrassing moments?
    You got a better solution?
45. Can you go out in public looking like you do?
    Huh? Then how else am I supposed to go out?
46. Is it easy for someone to make you smile?
    Depends, on my mood.
47. Has anyone put their arms around you in the past 5 days?
    Yup. I ain’t a socially ousted man.
48. Do you miss the way things used to be?
    No point missing anymore. You always got to move on. At least that’s what everyone around me keeps saying.
49. How often do you hold back from saying what you are thinking?
    These days, very often. Have hurt more than I can handle.
50. Want someone back in your life?
    A couple of them, yes.
51. Will tomorrow be better than today?
    I would surely try to make it so.
52. Does it bother you when someone lies to you?
    Other than a cery few close people, not really.
53. Is there anyone who understands your relationship status?
    Maybe. At least I myself don’t.
54. Are you a naturally happy person? Or is your happiness forced?
    If it’s forced, then how is it ‘happiness’?
55. Is there anyone you wish would fall in love with you?
    Jitne hain, kaafi hai!

I am not really tagging any one on this. If you wish to take it up, please do so, by all means.

sor·ry  [sor-ee, sawr-ee]

–adjective, -ri·er, -ri·est.

1. Feeling regret, compunction, sympathy, pity, etc.: to besorry to leave one’s friends; to be sorry for a remark; to be sorry for someone in trouble.
2. Regrettable or deplorable; unfortunate; tragic: a sorry situation; to come to a sorry end.
3. sorrowful, grieved, or sad: Was she sorry when her brother died?
4. Associated with sorrow; suggestive of grief or suffering; melancholy; dismal.
5. wretched, poor, useless, or pitiful: a sorry horse.
6. (used interjectionally as a conventional apology or expression of regret): Sorry, you’re misinformed. Did I bump you? Sorry.

Apologies are never easy, it doesn’t matter whether we have wronged, or whether we are perceived to have wronged. You would find innumerable people in your life who get choked when it’s their turn to be/say sorry. While expression of both gratitude and repentance is important, not many seem to realize that. And then there’s the other extreme kind who are ready to say ‘sorry’ at the drop of your hat. And then there are some who are not really sorry for what they did, but are sorry for the fact that they got busted.

One of my best mates has been saying ‘Sorry’ to me quite a bit, lately, and when it happened again today morning, I couldn’t help but wonder actually what was s/he sorry about? This gave birth to a string of thoughts, trying to figure out why would someone be sorry, or say ‘sorry’ to the other person? What might be the circumstances that give rise to such a scenario?

You know you are right, but not in a mood to fight
May be you are in a fight with your wife. Now, while you come out of the washroom, your wife points out that you have again left your seat up. Well, you know that’s the way you need the toilet to be, anyway, and there’s no rule book out there that says that it can’t stay up. It’s the women who always need it down, not men. And yet, you just say sorry and lift the toilet seat up, just because you are too pissed to have another shouting match!

You know you are right, but do not wish to hurt the other person’s feelings
You know you do not care about the skimpy clothes that you wear to college. And it doesn’t matter what your father says, you shall never stop going for basketball matches without your fav pair of skimpy shorts. And yet, when your father catches you wearing one of those, you say ‘sorry’ get back to your room. You simply change, and wear track pants for the match – with the shorts safely hidden right inside those pants, and intended to be shown off only in the college.

You know you are wrong, and you say ‘sorry’ just to get out of the ‘situation’
This one is a classic! Your best friend tells you how he had screwed that colleague of his during one of the office rave parties. During one of your conversations with his girlfriend, you come out with the truth, and get your friend’s ass kicked. When confronted, you simply say ‘I am sorry’.

You know you are wrong, and just want the other person to forgive and forget your wrong-doings
One night, you got all horny, and ended up sleeping with your friend’s girlfriend. The next day, after your friend get to know about the incident, you go to him and say “Dude, I am really sorry, man. I was inebriated, last night. Can we please forget whatever happened last night, and move on?”

You know you are wrong, and repent your decision, but would do it again, given the exact circumstances
You haven’ studied a thing for your exams. So, you go with the flow and try to cheat during the examinations to save yourself from a repeat of term. Alas! You get caught! While you cry away a river and say ‘sorry’ innumerable times to the professor, in your heart you know that you’d cheat again, if such desperate situations land up again!

You know you are wrong, repent your decision, and would like to do the best you can to set things right
This one goes without explanation, I guess!

So, what do you think? When do you say ‘Sorry’ to people?

Sayonara, people! If we meet again, it’d be my pleasure to entertain you again!

I love you all. Well, almost all.

Oh, speaking of butthurts, I just came across this little form for those who had faced butthurt himself. The purpose? Maybe it shall help you retrospect. Or, maybe you should fill it up before you wanna report about your butthurt to the police

Anyway, I’d like you tag Suruchi, Cathy, Sakshi, and Rohini to spread the message and let every know about the Butthurt Report Form, in their own style. Oh by the way, I picked it up from my friend, inkv.

Well, first things first. I must admit, I have NEVER (yes, never!) before received a blog award, and here is the very first one, thanks to Rohini. Yes, I am happy. I must admit, I am not really excited about the award itself. But the very gesture that Rohini felt this blog should be awarded, was what touched my heart. And of course, just like your very first love, you always remember your very first blog award. So, without any more ado, here’s my award!

And, I would like to pass on this award to Sakshi, Cathy, Suruchi and Uncle J.

It was just 3 days back when mom gave me an amazing news. They are going back home. Yes, they are going back to Mumbai! Two more weeks and Mumbai’s gonna be my home again. Now, I have spent 15 years of my life in Mumbai. And Mumbai is where my heart is. So naturally, now I have started to target all my energy and concentration onto moving to Mumbai. Do not know how soon that’s gonna happen, but I am surely keeping my fingers crossed.

The day before yesterday, I got involved into an amazing verbal volley with my landlord. Why? Well, we discovered that he has installed a separate tap/knob that would stop the water supply at our and the other tenant’s flat, but he and his sorry family could enjoy the bliss of 24×7 water supply. You have no idea about the extent I was infuriated to. Anyway, we have already given them an ultimatum and leaving the present house as soon as we find a new one, with 24×7 water and power supply. Have had enough of living in the primitive age!

Remember my post about the launch of a product that i was working on? Well, that went on really well. Finally, nothing goofed up, and now we are rolling. Just one more iteration and we are gonna make a pan-India launch, very soon. Want free passes? Then don’t forget to leave a comment to this blog post

For the last couple of days, a weird feeling of depression has engulfed my heart. It’s a useless thought, I know. I know, it’s not worth losing my sleep over. And yet, try how I may, still haven’t managed to shake those images out of my head. Life’s suddenly started to feel drudgery. Even with Suruchi’s amazing anecdotes, that innocent laugh has stopped reappearing from within. Now, everything’s so controlled. Suddenly, I feel so grown up, and old. Suddenly, I am grumpy. Makes me feel like shouting on top of my voice, “Somebody, please save me! Show me the path!!” Now that I can actually see my life getting back on track, why can I not be happy? Why can I, at least, not pretend to be happy?

How I wish I knew!

Well, we had an internal product launch yesterday. Didn’t really go too well. The software engineering department fucked up. Now, it’s been rescheduled to tomorrow. Hope this time it goes smooth. But I must admit, it felt amazing, the feeling of anticipation, and tension, when we were going through the live demo. Okay, my job here is to take care of the product development, and branding exercises. So, the product is kinda my baby too!

Back at home, we just fired the cook. I don’t think it’s because he cooked bad. It’s more because I am very fussy about how my food is supposed to taste. And being a decent cook myself, I kinda have a tongue for tastes. I am not really much of a hogger, but can surely call myself a connoisseur. Anyway, for now, it’s gonna be me, cooking. And tonight’s menu – steamed rice, daal and Baingan ka Bharta

It’s been a while since i have been wanting to write some fiction. Talking about your real life is good. But then fiction is what makes your heart race, fiction is what allows you to hallucinate. Or should I say, fantasize? I know I am more of a narrator, than a story teller. So, I decided to share a little incident in my life that not many people really know of. And well, let’s not consider Sakshi in the list. She’s been around for a long while, now.

So, the story is from a time when the movie Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge was still a rage. It was from the time when Jurassic Park had just released and people were still reading books about Stegosaurus, Diplodocus and the T-Rex. I used to live in a hostel. The city was Kolkata. The year was 1995. And I was just a 10 year old kid.

Now, before I move ahead with the story, there’s a prologue that I should wrap up, first. It was back in 1990 when the first of my grandfathers passed away. Till date, I have no clue what was his ailment. As a matter of fact, this is the first time I am wondering about what might have happened to him. Anyway, getting back to the story, it was 1990 and I used to stay in Raipur. One afternoon, we received a call from my family in Kolkata and we got to know that he was already dead. By the time we could arrange for the train tickets and travel a whole day to reach home, he was already cremated. Apparently, it was getting late and they couldn’t let the dead body stay at home for long. In short, they couldn’t wait till we could arrive.

Even though I was just 5 year old back then, I understood what death meant. I understood the fact that my grandpa would never come back. I understood that I would never be able to go out for a evening walk with him, or ask him for a toffee. I understood that from then on I had to wash my own ass after I am done with my morning chores, even when I was in Kolkata.

He had died on a Tuesday. And since that same day, every single Tuesday, if I ever looked up at the moon, I would see his face. I’d see his face wavering in the thin air, smiling at me. While it felt good to be able to see him again, the very realization that he was dead got me into a very weird kinda dilemma. I used to say to myself, “if my grandpa is dead, and if he isn’t coming back, then who does this face belong to?” Since I couldn’t figure out a plausible answer, I figured that it must be my grandpa’s ghost. And thus started my fear for ghosts. Then on, I could never stay in a dark place, all alone. So much so, even if I had to open the door at my house, and there was no light in the living room, during the evening, I would keep singing loudly, trying to keep myself strong. Yes, that’s how fearful I had become, to the idea of ghosts!

Cut to 1995, the time of this story. The hostel I used to stay in, had a strict rule of switching off ALL lights by 10:30 pm, since we were supposed to wake up at 4 in the morning, every single day, for physical exercise. We weren’t allowed to switch on the lights even if we needed to go to the bathroom (yes, it was a pretty strict kinda school). So, I had made a pact with this room mate of mine, called Sourabh Majumdar (SM). Since he too was a bit scared, we decided that every time we needed to hit the loo, we’d wake the other up and make visitations together.

On one such night, it was 3 AM, and my bladders simply refused to wait till the day break, and the drops were already formulating. I got up from the bed, went to SM, and poked him on his tummy -

Me: Dude! Oye!

SM: Huh? (open his eyes with heavy restrain)

Me: Hey, get up. I need to go to the loo.

SM: Okay, you can go. (and wraps himself with the bed sheet)

Me: What do you mean ‘you can go‘? You need to get up and come with me.

SM: Okay, you go. I will follow. (still wrapped tight underneath the bed sheet)

Me: Come one, man! We had a deal, remember? Don’t bail out on me now, man.

SM: You are such a pussy, man. The loo’s just 20 meters away. Just go ahead, man.

Me: I can’t go all alone. You need to come with me.

SM: … (what really did you expect? This time, he didn’t even bother to reply, and went back to his snoring routine)

So, I gathered all my courage and tried to go out of my room. Now, right outside, there was a corridor. And the other side was a wall. Basically, half of it was the wall and the rest was grilled. The wall was basically where the building ended. There was a garden on the other side. I was on the 3rd floor.

I figured, there was a little hole on the wall. What more, the height was also perfect for my little brother to just take a peek outside, get some freash air, and also take a leak. Yes, you imagined it right. That’s exactly what I did. Okay, correction. That’s exactly what I was doing when suddenly the hostel’s warden bellowed, “who the hell is that?”

A few facts about the warden of my hostel. He was an ex-army man. He weighed over 100 Kgs (I suspect). And he would always wake up earlier than the students, get his room prim and proper, and then go out for a walk. Yes, he too lived in the hostel.

Anyway, the moment he bellowed, I could hear thumping sounds on the steps. sounds that kept getting closer to me. I got so terrified that I immediately retracted, pulled up my shorts’ zippers, ran into my room, and straight into my bed. Yeah, while I behaved like I was fast asleep, my ears were more alert than ever!

Now, this guy comes all the way up the third floor, lights up the corridor, gets straight into my room, fires up the tube lights, literally hurls me out of the bed, and started thrashing like a mad man. 10 minutes and a chipped tooth later, he left me writhing on the floor, at the mercy of the stone cold marble I was lying on. When my batch mates pulled me up, they told me that they could see innumerable sets of red-colored fingers, in five, right on mt back and the sides. Yes, even I took a glance at a couple of them. They were right.

I know what you are wondering. How did the warden know it was me, eh? Well, by the time the day light broke, everyone in the hostel knew what had happened with me. And even they had the same question. After breakfast, a couple of those kids were chatting up with the warden when an intelligent chap finally asked him the million dollar question. And he replied, “when I went up there, I could see drops of you-know-what trailing from the wall, all the way to his bed. The rest was pretty simple!”

Yes, even my own piss betrayed me!!

Oh, and did I tell you, the garden that I had pissed on? The one at the other side of the wall? Well, they used to take flowers from there for pooja, at the temple :-p

P.S. – Never again had I been afraid of ghosts. And never again did I see grandpa’s face, simmering over the moon, on a Tuesday night!