First 10 (ages: 0 – 10): You’re figuring out that you’ve landed in this human body and what exactly that means: gravity, sharing, peeing/pooping, hunger, school, friendships.

Second 10 (ages: 11-21): You’re figuring out more complicated things like puberty and all of the emotions and weirdness that come along with that. You’re figuring out power dynamics and what money really means to your life and society.

Third 10 (ages: 22-33): Wowza. Now you’re adulting! You’re figuring out love and loss, paying taxes, and buying some self-help books because it hits you: everything you learned in school (besides reading and writing) did not prepare you for this.

Fourth 10 (ages: 34-44): Ok, you’re a little more confident about what’s happening here. But… what does it all mean? To what end?

Fifth 10 (ages: 45-55): Nowwwww you see. You’ve learned some tough lessons well enough to be able to share them; when you actually have enough time, peace and patience to do so with all of those kids or career changes running around.

Sixth 10 (ages: 56-66): You’ve made it somewhere near to retirement or you’ve retired. Good work! Now you run your time.

Seventh 10 (ages: 67-77): You’re doing whatever you want! Traveling; loving that worry-free PT job; making baked goods while you receive technology lessons from your grandkids; going back to college! You go!

Eighth 10 (ages: 78-88): You gain a new vision, a perspective that allows you to see what life has been. A birds-eye view where you see time has passed.

Ninth 10 (ages: 89-99): You prepare to rest. You have done a lot of work, raised a lot of people, made a lot of impact in your world; now, you rest.

If you were to imagine these sets of tens as books on a shelf, you’d only see nine books. That makes me wonder:

As a new decade approaches, we’re heading into a new book on our shelf. This book needs to fit into the grand scheme of your life’s purpose and mission. Whether you’re in book 1, 3, 5 or 7, your book serves its own purpose in the series.

Rarely do we take time to visualize our decades. We’re too hyper focused on our hours, days, weeks, months, years.

Our decades are important: they are what we look back on later when we’ve received our birds-eye vision.

Sheena Jeffers, Wellness Lifestyle Coach, MSEd

Download my FREE Decade View review + planning exercise.

Here is the one thing I hope you won’t forget next decade: You only get 9 tens, and you are worthy of an adventurous, joyful 9 tens that will result in a fulfilled, loving birds-eye vision so when you, one day, sit by and see all that you’ve lived, you’ll only be able to say: “Wow.”

Sheena Jeffers, MSEd, is a Wellness Lifestyle Coach helping clients design balance, boundaries and sustainable methods of flourish for their daily lives. Schedule a session with Sheena today and watch your life change!

For some of us, we desire a romantic partner who will remain safe, constant, and loving.

Or perhaps we desire business partnerships who are helpful, inspiring, and help us carry the load.

We may be looking for new friendships, support or networking groups. New clients, mentors or work colleagues.

No matter who or what you are looking for, it will help you find the right person (or people) if you are clear on what you’re looking to find.

When you’re on the search for someone to provide you something that you cannot provide yourself, this is a very special and unique role; it’s important they understand you and your needs.

Sheena Jeffers, MSEd, Wellness

Not everyone will be qualified for the job. You need a way to decipher if someone is ready and willing for the role. The only way to determine if they are the appropriate person (or group) for the care and growth of your soul is to observe from them certain qualities and behaviors.

Here is my suggested list of observable qualities and behaviors:

1. They have a lifelong obsession with… What are they radically excited by? Is this something you can respect or share with them?
2. They prioritize… What do you observe them making a priority of? Cleanliness? Finances? Career? Family? Is this something you also prioritize or can at least get behind?
3. They approach life and others with… This is the good ole “How did they treat the server at the restaurant?” idea. You want to observe how they move through the world and how they see and treat human life.
4. When I am around them I feel… How do they make you feel? Where does the flow of energy go when you’re around them (into you or out of you?) Do you feel safe? Supported? Heard? Seen?
5. They honor in me… This one is so important. If they are honoring something about you, it’s because a) they see the real you b) they respect the real you.
6. They are constantly and consistently showing me… Decide right now what you need to see and feel on a consistent basis to feel truly loved, respected, safe, seen and heard.
7. They possess, embody and live the following… How do you see them running and designing their own lives? Do they expect you to do that for them or are they emotionally, financially, physically, spiritually running their own lives? How do you feel about how they are running their lives / organization?
8. They are on a constant quest for… What are they always striving for, looking for, desiring? Is this something they can find without you uprooting your entire life for them?
9. They think and talk mostly about… Observe what is on their heart and mind. Is this something that’s important to you? Healthy for you?

You can download the Partner Manifesto here.

You want this person – or even future person – to be in alignment with who you are and how you live. They can only best partner you if they understand and respect you.

This manifesto is intended for your use to ensure they are a safe person for you and the life you are living. If you are uncomfortable with something that comes out on this list – perhaps it’s something you observed or noticed – then this is something for you to think on. They may not be aligned with who you want to be, and it’s OK to pass on them.

You want people in your life who adore you in such a way that you’re able to grow and feel safe, heard and seen. You’re able to thrive not because of them but because of the supportive, respectful environment they create by being in your life.

Reminder: you are worthy of people in your life who align with who you are, what you believe and how you want to live.

Sheena Jeffers, MSEd, is a Wellness Lifestyle Coach helping clients design balance, boundaries and sustainable methods of flourish for their daily lives. Schedule a session with Sheena today and watch your life change!

But these don’t always happen and we don’t understand why. We, then, find ourselves back at home exhausted, frustrated, depleted and a little irritated by the ever-present rhythm of feeling stuck.

Wellness is a daily practice, but without systems of understanding, it can feel triggering: Why can’t I feel like that? She’s totally faking her wellness! Yoga doesn’t solve everything, Karen! I’m glad she’s soooo happy! *eye roll*

With your own personal system of understanding and approaching wellness, you can navigate tough emotional terrain, raise your vibration and shine more light out into the world (which, spoiler alert, will inevitably end up changing your relationships and what you’re attracting into your life).

My Wellness Confidence Checklist is a way to check-in with yourself on how you’re currently feeling about your wellness practice. The checklist will reveal to you the high and low points (the low points revealing your growth edges, or places where you can expand and deepen your practice).

Let’s see where we are.

Wellness Confidence Checklist by Sheena Jeffers

Instructions: Answer on a scale of 1 – 10 (1 being low / No; 10 being high / Yes – then choose the degree of how strongly you feel about each answer by using a number identifier). 

1. Do I grant myself personal time (more than 5 minutes) within each day to be alone? 
2. Do I permit myself time, space and funds to participate with my passions? 
3. Do I follow my curiosities? 
4. Do I invest in my personal development? 
5. Do I have a system that allows me to tap into my inner feelings, experiences? 
6. Do I have a system that allows me to soothe my nervous system during tense experiences? 
7. Do I embrace my masculine and feminine energy? 
8. Do I have a meditation practice? 
9. Do I have a journaling practice? 
10. Do I feel grounded and well established when communicating my needs? 
11. Do I have a compelling 180-day goal / mission / purpose for myself? 
12. Do I feed my body what it needs to thrive? 
13. Do I feel connected to friends? 
14. Do I feel connected to powers larger than myself? 
15. Do I enjoy the ebbs and flows of my unique life? 
16. Am I able to see the purpose because life challenges? 
17. Do I react in ways that are healthy for me to communication from others?
18. Do I feel happy with the flow of my days? 
19. Do I feel supported? 
20. Do I feel energized about my future? 

How did you do?

Take a look at your lower-scoring areas. How would you like to raise these practices? How would you like to participate more with these practices?

Your personal well-being is worth investing time, money, and energy into. Your physical body – your vessel – is worth paying attention to and noticing.

Use this checklist to continuously check in on your wellness practice. It’s important to note that everyone’s wellness practice will look different, and your practice will continuously change as the seasons of your life change. Honor your practice and honor the practice of others.

Reminding you that you are worth it and deserve balanced living!

You can download the checklist here.

Sheena Jeffers, MSEd, is a Wellness Lifestyle Coach helping clients design balance, boundaries and sustainable methods of flourish for their daily lives. Schedule a session with Sheena today and watch your life change!

My first night out in the ocean, I stayed awake on full alert. Then, out of nowhere, another boat popped up on our radar. I spent the wee hours of the morning talking with them on the radio, and they had no idea how soothing their voice was when you’re surrounded by nothing.

I use this example to explain life guides.

Life guides are teachers, warriors, supporters, family, strangers who enter your life unexpectedly with the designed purpose to teach you a specific lesson or help you move through a life transition. Part of fully trusting powers larger than yourself means staying open to life guides, acknowledging their presence in your life, and keeping your heart open and attuned to the lesson they’re here to deliver specifically to you.

– Sheena Jeffers, MSEd, Wellness Lifestyle Coach

When we’re walking around on this earth, it’s easy to categorize people and our relationship to them. They’re strangers, friends, acquaintances, lovers, colleagues, family. Once we’ve categorize them, we don’t stop there. We go so far as to categorize the varying degrees of intimacy: “best friend,” “second cousin,” “ex-lover whom I don’t speak to.” Because of our innate inclination to immediately categorize someone, it’s easy to miss a lot about them. It’s easy to not get curious about who they are and why they’re here, specifically right now, in your life.

It’s important to understand that not everyone currently in your life is a life guide (which is why this is totally confusing!) So, how do you know then who is a life guide?

You will notice some very distinct and obvious actions.

You know you’re looking at a life guide provided specifically for you if…

1. First: They appear unexpectedly, sometimes in odd ways at odd times in many shapes, sizes and forms. If you’re looking at a human life guide, it could be an old friend, a new stranger, someone far older or younger than you. You may wonder at the timing and the intrigue of it all. This is your first clue: they are here for either good or bad. It’s important for you to stay open and attentive during this time. If they’re a true life guide, you’ll feel everything listed below. If they are distractors (energy vampires, negative influences) there to pull you off track, you will not feel everything listed below. Instead, you’ll feel negative feelings. If you feel those negative feelings, you are not in the presence of a life guide; you’re in the presence of a life lesson or challenge.
2. If they’re a true life guide… then: They get uniquely close to you fast. This is because they see you: the real you. They see what you’re going through and what you’re struggling with. They see what you hope to achieve. They don’t need to know everything about your past because they see you right here, right now.
3. They ask you important, pointed, challenging questions. They are raising your self-awareness without telling you. They helping you find your own clarity and serving as a safe space for you while you do so.
4. You feel no judgement from them. They are not here to judge you. They are here to hear you, see you, guide you. You’ll notice you feel safe talking to them and possibly seek them out during weak moments. When you do seek them out, they appear fully.
5. They know what you need to hear without you telling them. What they say resonates with you deeply, whether you tell them that or not. They’ll say what your soul needs to hear, not what your ego or mind wants to hear.
6. Their commitment to you will be obvious. They will call and check-in with you. They will follow up. They will stay present and deeply involved out of genuine interest (because they know they’re role; they’re fulfilling a mission they know they’re intended to do) and they take it seriously.
7. Their timing is always zeroed in. They can sense when you need something: a call, a text, a check-in, a 4-hour talk, a recommendation of a good book. Even if it’s a simple, “I’m thinking of you” text, it always comes at a moment of high intensity for you and feels like relief.
8. They celebrate you with ever new level of self-awareness you reveal. They understand this work takes time, and they’re waiting patiently for you to arrive. They will celebrate when you’ve exhibited a new growth. They want for you to feel successful, secure and armed with healthy mental habits.
9. Their involvement with you will feel concentrated during the time they’re doing their most important work. As life flows, and as you move through whatever you’re experiencing, your life guide’s involvement may intensify and/or wane. This is because they know how to push you and how to let you rest when rest is absolutely necessary. You may not sense this right away, but stay observant and you’ll notice your life guide’s in-and-out movement of your life as divinely timed.
10. They back up and watch from afar after you’ve moved through what they helped you with. Their concentrated work being done, they give you space to thrive.

Let’s play this out.

Someone enters your life and you are now in a special position to get curious about them. First, notice how you feel around them.

• If you’re feeling safe, secure, cared for… you may be in the presence of a life guide. Start paying close attention.
• If you’re feeling threatened, ruffled, irritated… you may be in the presence of a life lesson repeating itself to test you. Start asking yourself some tough personal questions and set healthy boundaries.
• If you’re feeling ehhh.. blah, nothing really… it may just be another human sharing earth at the same time as you. OK, fine! Be kind and move on.

Once you’ve decided if you’re in the presence of a life guide, a life lesson or just another human being, you can start doing the work that comes next.

Life guides are truly eye-opening and transformational for your life. The sooner you recognize them, the more potent their work will feel for you. Perhaps you’re just now realizing your life guides from your past? It’s never too late to thank them.

Now, go, brave soul! Get curious about who is in your life and why!

Sheena Jeffers, MSEd, is a Wellness Lifestyle Coach helping clients design balance, boundaries and sustainable methods of flourish for their daily lives. Schedule a session with Sheena today and watch your life change!

It’s a story we become familiar with as adults. After 18 years of formal schooling on top of the less formal conditioning of people telling us who we are and aren’t (both verbally and by years of reading body-language cues) we end up, at the fresh age of 18, entering the “adult world” racked with mixed messages, insecurities and a delightful menu of specialty vulnerabilities ready to be triggered at any moment.

We’re familiar with vulnerabilities:

• You start a new job that requires you to learn a lot of new things
• You speak up during a meeting
• You tell someone you love them
• You pitch an idea
• You try a new-to-you thing

Vulnerabilities can range from what may be feel small (but still vulnerable) to wide-slam open (feels a little like you could / maybe / should-I-just? crawl into a cave right now). You know the feeling.

But today, I want to talk about what comes after vulnerability: the Vulnerability Storm. This is its own unique reaction to vulnerability because it combines a lot of factors. Let’s get clear about what we’re talking about.

The Make-up of a Vulnerability Storm:

1. You placed yourself into a vulnerable situation.
2. Someone reacted to your vulnerability in a way that you didn’t process well.
3. You feel defensive / angry / resentful for their reaction.
4. You start to feel defensive / angry / resentful for being vulnerable.
5. You start to feel incapable / dumb about whatever it was you were trying to be vulnerable about in the first place.
6. Your past experiences become intertwined with your current reality and now you’re feeling even more insecure / incapable.
7. You want to quit or to hide.
8. Other things – relationships, conversations, tasks – start to feel stressful and anxiety-filled because now you feel even more vulnerable / incapable / dumb.
9. You start reading others’ reactions to you as if they’re fed up or angry at you.
10. You want to quit or to hide even more because you have now fully convinced yourself that the world hates you and you’re completely incapable / dumb for trying to do the thing.

Necessary ingredients for a Vulnerability Storm:

• Vulnerable act
• Someone else’s unpleasant reaction to your vulnerable act (verbal or non-verbal)
• Past hurts resurfacing
• Turning against yourself (forgetting your power)
• External factors feeling increasingly irritable
• Wanting to quit

Vulnerability Storms compound – or intensify the negative aspects of – what is already hurting.

First, you were vulnerable and that hurt.

Then, someone reacted poorly and that hurt.

Then, you remember the last time someone reacted poorly and that hurts.

Next, you start reading everyone as reacting poorly and you start to genuinely question your ability and your human-hood.

Finally, you want to quit because you definitely should because everyone hates you and your lack of abilities anyway, right?

Vulnerability storms whip themselves up fast! When you find yourself in one, you’ll become exhausted quickly because your system is working on overload searching for, reinforcing, and compounding all of the negatives against you.

You are the only one who truly get yourself out of the storm.

Step one: Recognize you’re in a Vulnerability Storm. Acknowledge its presence and then tell it firmly that it has gotten out of control.

Step two: Find someone who loves you, someone you trust, who can serve as solid ground for you during your particularly whipped up time. Let them help you sort through the stories you’re telling yourself: What is true? What is simply not true?

Step three: Find language around what hurts. Where is the pain in the story? Why is it there? Clarify what’s really happening so that you can start to process – in increments – what is really happening.

Step four: Decide what you need to feel good and to feel strong again. It may be a conversation. It may be large changes like cutting someone out of your life or quitting a job.

Step five: Give your nervous system time to relax. Take a long shower. Have a cup of tea. Fun fact: It takes 2 full weeks of not irritating the wound for your nervous system to fully relax and recover from whatever kicked it into hyper-mode. This may mean blocking someone’s phone or text messages (don’t touch the wound). It may mean communicating your triggers to a supervisor (they can’t touch the wound either). But decide what makes you feel safe and allow your system the time it needs to relax.

Vulnerability storms can really muck up a good week or month or year. Don’t allow it that much power. Now you know how to recognize it and how to pull yourself out of it. You are in the driver’s seat of your own life. Let me see you drive!

Sheena Jeffers is a Wellness Lifestyle Coach helping clients design balance, boundaries and sustainable methods of flourish for their daily lives. Schedule a session with Sheena today and watch your life change!

Childhood you woke up every day to play, to learn, to grow physically larger and stronger. But then we’re taught to care about how we appear to others, this big-bad-mean-unforgiving world.

I am curious what you care about.

I am curious if you’re in the job or field of work you truly feel called to be in.

I am curious whose opinions you care about.

I am curious why you unhesitatingly integrated them into your body, your identity.

Right now — right this second — practice with me caring less. Why? Here’s why:

To find your true inner self — who you were meant to be with your time on this earth — you’re going to have to remember who you were born as and then be truly unattached to how you’re currently appearing in this world. Imagination and creativity are required for your inner self to rise! Nothing is going to happen for you in a rule-following box because you don’t have access to your imagination.

First, become familiar with the boundaries and the form of your rule-following box. What does it look like? What does it feel like for you? How did it get there? Who were the players who built it for you? Why did they build it around you?

Our rule-following boxes are originally intentioned for good: don’t touch a hot stove or it will burn you; don’t walk to close to the edge or you may fall. But somewhere down the line, the rule-following box morphs into something else, and we find ourselves following rules or pressures and we’re not sure why. For example: be skinny or you’ll be seen as unhealthy and lazy; dress nicely or you’ll be seen as poor. We soak these things in so deeply, they touch our core and end up re-designing who we are without our true consent. We do it because we think we want it. We do it because we’re told it’s “a good opportunity.” We do it because, well, we have to do something, right? and if everyone is doing it and it seems to be working then… ok?

This is the moment you start to give up things without realizing it. You take the job that isn’t what you really want to be doing. You get into a life that doesn’t feel aligned with your true spirit. You stop painting outside of the lines or dancing wildly or singing off key. You push those things back to weekend hobbies or private shower time, not to be talked about or brought up or experienced in public because now you have a “brand” and people have seen the rule-following-box you: professional, together, safe because they know you now.

Take a look at that version of you. What does that version of you do? How does she/he behave? What does that version of you not do? What would that version of you never dream of doing?

Now, let’s add our imagination and creativity! Again, imagine that child version of you: What did she/he do? How did she/he behave? What did she/he dream about doing?

PAUSE: Did the grown-up you just roll your eyes and say, “But Sheena, everyone has to grow up. We can’t stay children forever. Life isn’t meant to be that way either!”

Right. I am not asking you to stay a child. One of the most beautiful, caterpillar-butterfly qualities of life is that we grow out of moments, stages of our life.

But the human spirit and your inner self and your intentioned way for being on this earth doesn’t change. You were born to BE and that was meant to be fluid but not designed to be controlled, boxed in or held back by big-bad-mean-unforgiving standards you didn’t even set. That’s about force. That’s about taking. That’s a form of stealing.

Finding your inner self will require you to remember who you were and then commit to daily action of creativity and imagination to awaken that person again. Once you’ve touched base with that person again, your inner voice — what you truly desire, the work you actually want to be doing, how you genuinely want to be spending your time on this earth — will start to become louder and more clear.

Suggestions for how to remember who you were:

Dance. Sing. Paint. Read poetry. Be out in nature for 30+ minutes a day. Meditate. Journal. Listen to music. Play music.

Be aware, your ego — your internal rule-following enforcer — will fight you. It will make you question what you’re doing, make you second guess yourself, and send invitations for you to do other things to distract you.

But you know if you’re ready to release all previous ways of being. You know if you’re ready to let go of who you think you are right now for who you are really meant to be. I invite you.

Sheena Jeffers is a Wellness Life Coach helping clients design balance, boundaries and flourish into their daily lives. Schedule a session with Sheena today and watch your life change!

Instead of waking up and preparing yourself for war, I invite you to wake up and prepare yourself for love.

Here is how you can wake up every day and prepare your heart, mind and body for a day full of love instead of war.

1. Gratitude first: Train your brain to wake up and practice gratitude as its first thought of the day. At the beginning, this will take overriding whatever first thought pops into your head. Instead of, “Oh, man, it’s way too early and my back hurts,” change the voice to say, “Oh, I have some extra time this morning to make my coffee slow or a few extra minutes to be in relationship with my partner or child!” Then, go down a quick list of what you’re thankful for: the opportunity to make an income, your family, your friends, your talents. Whatever it may be, show gratitude for the having of those things today. Nothing is guaranteed to be on your list tomorrow.
2. Don’t anticipate your demise. You are not heading into work or into your day or into a conversation walking into the total destruction of you! Instead, anticipate love. Imagine that you’re walking into learning opportunities, moments of relationship with others, and interaction with community and nature. Your day does not require you to be on guard. If you’re feeling unsafe—feeling the need to be on guard—at work or at home, it may be time to make some major shifts in your life. Walk into your day expecting love!
3. Notice your gifts. Your 30-minute commute to work is an opportunity to catch up on that podcast you’ve been wanting to enjoy. Your lunch break is the opportunity to move your body and take in deep breaths. Noticing your gifts will lead you naturally toward gratitude.
4. Set aside of the feelings around your burdens. Don’t fight it every day: allow time for that burden to settle when the time is right. We feel something is a burden if we’re harboring some kind of resentment toward something. Perhaps you feel you don’t make enough money or don’t have enough time for your children. Those burdens will only start to compound on each other. I am not suggesting you ignore what feels like a burden— in fact, quite the opposite. I suggest you examine them. But you don’t have to fight or prepare to fight that battle every day. Once you know you’re upset about your pay or your schedule, start working toward changing that in your life, but don’t complain about it every day. I am suggesting for you set aside your feelings about dealing with your burdens until its their time to be dealt with and, instead, see the self-learning opportunity this burden is providing you. Burdens can be gifts because they can lead to freedom if you notice and take action with them.
5. Give up your idea of control. Where are you convinced that you have control in your life? Do you feel exhausted having to man that booth? We have very little control, and admitting that can feel scary or overwhelming at first, then you’ll feel free. We can only do things, say things, feel things, think things, and those are powerful options. But there will always exist X factors that we have no control over. Learning how to be flexible will allow you to practice open-heartedness to the unknown!
6. Practice curiosity. It’s a beautiful practice to wonder. Get curious about who is in your life and why. Get curious about comments people say and why. Get curious about the flow of your time and energy throughout the day. Get curious about why your boss is your boss. Get curious about raindrops on flower petals. Simply ask yourself questions. The practice of getting curious helps entertain your mind with beautiful ideas and images. This practice helps remind us that there are a million other processes happening around us every moment, and it allows us to experience everything on a deeper level. Curiosity leads to insight which leads to love.
7. Trust the boundaries you’ve set for your emotional, mental and physical well-being. If you haven’t set boundaries that protect your well-being, first do that. When you wake up in the morning, you want to know you don’t have to take on the day on guard because your boundaries are set; the only thing you have to do now is be kind and communicate clearly throughout the day. If you have blurry boundaries, clarify them. These boundaries are set so that you do not have to enter every day explaining yourself. If you’re having to reinforce your boundaries every day with someone, this is a sign that person should not be in your life: if they are having a hard time respecting your boundary, they are not respecting you.
8. Place what you love into your day. When you make time and opportunities to interact with what you love throughout your day, then you know—at some point—you’ll run into what you love! A great cup of coffee, good music, enlightening poetry, a well-produced podcast. It doesn’t matter what it may be, the point is you’ve set up access points or opportunities to tango with what you love, simply for you!
9. Stop preparing to deprive yourself: Ensure your needs are being met. Walking into your day preparing to miss meals or hurry through meetings or depend solely on caffeine is not practicing self-love. How many times have you heard, “I’m surviving only on coffee right now!” And people say that proudly? You are depriving your body of nourishment, fuel, energy, potency. When you are preparing for a day of love, that means you are preparing for a day to show love to your body. Pack snacks. Eat slowly. Drink water. Notice everything you’re doing for and to your body.
10. Notice love. Don’t fear love. Don’t brace against it or immediately question its intention. When you see it being given from someone—accept it, acknowledge it. Notice love around you (hugs, kisses, holding hands). Notice love in your inbox (someone checking on you, offering to assist you). Notice love from your friends, your family, your colleagues. Thank them for the showing of their kindness.

Some people may dismiss this idea of preparing yourself for love. They’ll roll their eyes and say, “You can’t live life with rose-colored glasses on!” But you can. You absolutely can. Your mental, emotional and physical health will thank you.

Stop preparing your heart, mind and body for war, dear one. You deserve far more than carrying that energy with you all day.

Sheena Jeffers is a Wellness Life Coach helping clients design balance, boundaries and flourish into their daily lives. Schedule a session with Sheena today and watch your life change!

• You start living only by lists
• You feel hurried
• You can’t sleep due to over-thinking
• You can’t recall the last time you ate or went to the bathroom
• You go for hours without truly moving your body
• You experience hurry > joy
• You rush, make mistakes, then rush more to correct the mistakes
• You wake up feeling tired
• If you rely only on strategies
• If you’re constantly playing catch up on sleep or water or food

Sound familiar? You can’t see me, but I’m raising my hand. The problem with living and depending too much on our intellect and ability to data collect is that we can compartmentalize our existence and our existence is not solely mental. In fact, the vessel in which we are able to see, hear, feel, provide, calculate and write is our physical bodies. When you start feeling completely detached from your physical body, you’ll start to notice signs of exhaustion and longing.

Your body wants you to back! Your body wants you to hear its needs!

We can often times feels hesitant to return to our bodies because we feel shameful for mistreating them. We work more than we sleep. We eat unhealthy but convenient foods. We indulge in our vices. We don’t wear the right shoes. We skimp on our physical activity. It’s not easy to look someone in the eye whom we’ve mistreated: the same goes for our bodies.

If you’re hearing the call to return to your body, I challenge you to listen: your life, your joy and your work will thank you.

Here are 10 quick and easy ways to return to your body. These exercises can be done within 1 – 5 minutes, daily, and they are free!

1. Create for yourself a grounding resource. When we’re talking electricity, grounding protects people and equipment by providing the current a safe path to dissipate. When you’re practicing returning to [remembering] your body, you need a grounding resource to provide yourself a safe path back to yourself. This grounding resource can be as simple as: squeezing the palm of your hand; pressing your bare feet into the earth; rolling while holding your neck. To create a grounding resource for yourself, select a physical place on your body that when you access it, it reminds you to be present in your own body. Make a commitment to yourself that anytime you participate in this action, you will remember to be present in your physical body.
2. Drink water & notice it. Sounds simple, right? But we rarely do it. It seems somehow daunting to prepare and carry a water bottle with us. We drink once we realize that we’re thirsty but by that point, your body has already been craving hydration for hours. Without hydration, our brains and our muscles are working less well. Grab yourself a re-fillable water bottle and take it with you. When you feel the urge for coffee to keep you working, ask yourself if you had water at all today? Notice when your body is accepting the hydration. Mentally, notice the nourishment.
3. Get physically moving and then feel your heart beating. We tend to see exercise as something on our To-Do lists or a goal to achieve. But exercise is not that; exercise is allowing your body to play! Your body is like an elementary child awaiting the bell for recess: it wants to move! Your body wants to strengthen its muscles, pump fresh blood through your arteries, use its full range of motion in its joints! Grant it that special time and then, for your own tangible experience on entering your own body, feel the immediate feedback by placing your hand on your heart. See? Isn’t that nice?
4. Stop tracking numbers and start observing feelings. Do you know how your body feels throughout the day? We have cycles that we experience each day: bursts of energy and productivity and lulls of sleepiness or laziness. Listening to that feedback will tell you when you need more or less of something (and the answer isn’t more coffee). Start to notice when your body is talking; learn how your body speaks to you.
5. Prioritize quiet, non-stimulated time. Turn off the TV and phone. Ignore the notifications on your phone. Tell your friends or family, “I cannot be there for that.” You need time to re-set and unplug, otherwise you’re bouncing from one to-do to the next to-do and you don’t know how or why or how well you’re doing it; you’re just charging through and then trying to play catch-up the next day. The most difficult challenges with this one is setting boundaries with others and communicating your need for this time. Practice with the people who care about you first, and then move on to your work colleagues and supervisors.
6. Write a letter to your body. Describe for it, first, your gratitude. Health, physical movement, activated senses are all something for which to be thankful. Next, explain why you’ve been away. Identify what keeps you out of or neglectful of your body. Apologize. Then, describe in detail your desires for your body and your promises to your body. I promise to listen to you, feed you, nourish you, challenge you in healthy ways. I promise to not forget you, deplete you, put something else before you, discount you. Acknowledge your role and responsibility for tending to your own vessel. Then say, “I love you.”
7. Bend over and touch your toes once a day. Go ahead! It’s OK if you can’t reach them right now! This simple action alone will wake up your hamstrings, release your lower back, and send fresh blood to your brain. You’ll notice feedback from your body right away.
8. Massage your feet (or your partner’s feet) after a long day. Our feet make up 25% of the body’s bones, 18% of joints and 6% of the muscles. We put pressure on them often and tweak them at odd angles. Massaging your feet will bring your mind from the top of your body down into the lowest. Plus, massaging someone’s feet is one of the most intimate ways to communicate with your body or your partner’s body: I care about your health, your feel goodness, and you.
9. Take immediate pauses [RESTS] when you need them. Sit in your car for a minute. Send a call to voicemail. Let an emotion pass. Your body is doing a lot of work: physically helping you move, think, hear, see, process emotions and communications. When your body needs a minute, grant it a minute! What else could be more important than to give your body a chance to breathe?
10. Breathe. Start practicing deep, long, un-hurried breaths. Sit in silence or in nature or with music, but breathe. Focus on breathing. It’s impossible to have an empty mind, so don’t worry if your brain tries to run off somewhere else, but let your physical body breathe. You have time. You have lungs. Let your body breathe.

Our mission here is drop into our bodies multiple times throughout the day. Through observation, through movement, through hydration, through rests. Being aware of what’s happening in and to our bodies is our first step to healing. Your body loves you, love it back.

Sheena Jeffers is a Wellness Life Coach helping clients design balance, boundaries and flourish into their daily lives. Schedule a session with Sheena today and watch your life change!

I talk about this stuck place a lot with friends, family, and clients in an effort to get familiar with its temperament. Feeling stuck seems to be a blend of:

• loneliness (lack of connection, notably different from aloneness)
• burnout
• frustration
• lack of inspiration and motivation
• lack of adventure, spontaneity
• forgetting or not feeling you have your own agency (forgetting or not feeling your capacity to act independently and to make your own free choices)

The best way to re-energize your spirit about your current season of life is to become familiar and have conversations with each one of these aspects of stuck-ness. Let’s do it!

Hi, Loneliness: I am feeling you trying to convince me of my lack of companions. You want me to buy into this solitariness of existence and bask in perceived isolation. Instead, I will practice gratitude for my companions by making a list of people who care about my opinions, my feelings, my happenings. Next, I will reach out. I will extend my personal existence and place myself in places unfamiliar or familiar. I will take a yoga class. I will reach out to a friend and ask for a coffee date. I will remember my live-wire connections to people special to me and I will try to tell them about their specialness and what I’m going through.

Hi, burnout: I see you aiming for my mental, physical and emotional wellness. You’re actively draining me of my goodness. I feel less than when you are around and strong. But I will not permit you to win. I will rest. I will ask for help where I need it. I will set new boundaries and enforce them. I will respond only to my priorities and not someone else’s. I will set aside undivided time, undivided attention and undivided effort for me and for me alone. Get smaller, burnout, because you are not welcome here.

Hi, frustration: I acknowledge that you have convinced me of my inability to change or achieve something. But that is the only piece you’ve succeeded in: temporarily convincing me. Now that I have taken time – stepped by to see the birds-eye view – I remember where my power lies: in setting healthy boundaries for me; in letting go of what is outside of my control; in making changes that bring alignment to my life. Thank you, frustration, for serving as a fluorescent neon arrow pointing to something being off.

Hi, lack of inspiration and motivation: You are tricky, sinister thing. You sneak in quietly and I don’t realize you’re with me until I hit something – writers’ block, failing at keeping a commitment to myself (like going to the gym or not indulging in late-night sweets), not following through, missing a deadline. Then I notice: Whoa! I’m not inspired or motivated to do anything! Then, I rationalize. I watch Netflix for hours; I procrastinate; I have an extensive list of excuses. That’s you, lack of inspiration and motivation. But I am armed with tools to combat you. I know what kickstarts my inspo: good music and podcasts, books, coffee, nature, community. I will seek them out and flush you out. I know what motivates me: purpose-driven work, mission-oriented teams, bright sunshine and high-quality friends. I will seek them out and flush you out. Lack doesn’t serve me or my work in any way. If you stay too long, you’ll settle in, and I’m not here on this earth to live in that space, so start packing!

Hi, lack of adventure and spontaneity: You are the shadow side of the comfort coin. I enjoy my comfort and familiarity. I settle into my rituals, consistency, old roads home. The opposite side of those experiences is feeling as if I am not adventurous or spontaneous, but I know I have that within me. Whimsy, playfulness, fancifulness. I remain open to opportunities that will present themselves and I am courageous enough to take them. Traveling to unknown worlds and people is not the only way to practice adventuring and spontaneity. I know that puzzle piece exists within my spirit, and I will pay it some attention to re-open my heart to the unexpected.

Hello, personal agency: The world around me sets clear, black-and-white parameters, directions, rules, requirements, prerequisites on me. I forget that I can decide whether or not those work for me and the life I’m actively building. I am in the driver’s seat. I have words to use: Yes. No. That is for me. That is not for me. I will take that on. I will not take that on. That is for me to care about. That is not for me to care about. Minute by minute, my clear communication of my priorities, my boundaries are forming my life. I am here to set the parameters, directions, rules, requirements and prerequisites for me.

Feeling stuck is only a temporary feeling or season in your life. You may be waiting for the next big thing to happen: don’t worry, it will come. You may be waiting for a project to sort itself out: don’t worry, the dust will settle. You may be waiting for someone to realize something: give them time. It’s OK if you made it weird instead of giving it time: everything will come around.

We’re humans and we need seasons to help us understand that we’re moving forward and time is passing. Just don’t remain stuck. Have the conversations with yourself, and kickstart a different vibe for you, even if you’re still waiting for what’s next. The vibe is what we’re adjusting. You are worthy of energized, inspired, motivated, adventurous vibes even while practicing patience.

Now, go get ’em! I want to see you thrive.

Sheena Jeffers is a Wellness Life Coach helping clients design balance, boundaries and flourish into their daily lives. Schedule a session with Sheena today and watch your life change!

When I was asked to speak about grit, I found myself in a blurry place. My first impulsive thought went to my own personal grit: the gumption, the animalistic parts of me that push through to get a job done or get over a hurt. The grit that stood by me when I opened my businesses, launched my community projects, performed on stages. The grit that still stands by me when required to have tough conversations, taking the phone call I don’t want to take, paying the obnoxious, unexpected bill. I am familiar with this grit.

But sailing 6,000+ nautical miles to 11 different countries delivered me to a new understanding of grit. Why? Because sailing was never my dream. Before I met my previous life partner, I had never sailed a day in my life. On our first date, he told me, “I want to sail around the world!” I nodded and shrugged it off. But he was serious and I was left with a decision to make: Should I stay or should I go now?

I didn’t realize it at the time, but the question was really: Can you manifest grit grand enough and then give it to your partner?

During the months of sorting through my thoughts, feelings and fears, many people, facts, doubts surfaced to tell me their opinions. And there were many.

“You’re committing career suicide!”

“Why did you even go to graduate school?”

“You don’t know how to sail! That is just stupid, just dangerous!”

Their words were influential to me, and like pulling a blanket over your head after a long day of work, I tucked myself away. It was inside of that safety fort, alone, that I made my decision: I was going. I could do this.

I went. I woke up every day prepared to be present and gritty to make this sailing dream happen. Many people told me I put my life on hold. Many people worried about me losing myself in it all. I pressed on.

We achieved a lot. We changed as people. And then it ended.

My inclination toward romantic endings made it difficult for me to pack my belongings, stuff them into a rental car and drive away from him, from our boat, from the life we had shared. But I needed to do it for me, for him, for us. I wanted him to be happier, and he wanted the same for me.

It wasn’t until months later that I realized I now had a new understanding of grit. Now, I knew a grit that was selfless, potent, present. As my dear friend said, I learned how to hold the line: a state of being that remains steady and non-reactive; only consistent, alert, prepared, focused and backed with intense love. The kind of grit that kept me standing tall on the sailboat during scary times. The kind of grit that helped me massage my mother’s feet that had long fallen numb from chemo treatments.

I have three points about grit.

1. My definition of grit is having passion and perseverance for a long-term goal steeped in a growth mindset.
2. You don’t lose yourself by providing or loaning your grit to someone else. Grit isn’t of a limited quantity; it grows more (for them, for you) the more you use it.
3. Guard your grit from the naysayers, manipulators, fear bringers, and abusers. Use and trust your discernment and then be all in!

Why? Because when has loving someone or something ever been a waste of time? When has love been the wrong thing to do? Love is never the wrong thing to do, even when the ending isn’t what you expected.

Find your grit and don’t be afraid to give it to someone else. You don’t lose you, you grow more into you.