I wonder how many times this question has been asked. More likely, it’s often cried as a statement. “God, this isn’t fair!”

I’ve been reading in 1 Chronicles 13 about David bringing the ark of the covenant back to Jerusalem. The Bible tells us David was a man after God’s own heart, and he wanted to please the Lord and put Israel on the right path back to God. 

But while bringing the ark back, the unthinkable happened. One of the oxen pulling the cart holding the ark stumbled. Uzzah, one of the men walking beside it, put his hand on the ark to steady it, so it wouldn’t fall. God struck him dead. 

I’ve read this story so many times, and each time I’m overwhelmed with how unfair Uzzah’s death seems. We’ve all been in a similar situation, where something is knocked and almost falls and our instincts kick in as we move to grab or steady it. If Uzzah was merely trying to save the ark, then why did God strike him dead? 

To understand, we need to look at the whole story. 

“David conferred with each of his officers, the commanders of thousands and commanders of hundreds. He then said to the whole assembly of Israel, ‘If it seems good to you and if it is the will of the Lord our God, let us send word far and wide to the rest of our people throughout the territories of Israel, and also to the priests and Levites who are with them in their towns and pasturelands, to come and join us.’” 1 Chronicles 13:1 NIV

Notice the wording in this verse. First he conferred, or asked the opinions of, his officers and commanders. Then he said, “If this seems good to you and it’s the Lord’s will…” But when did he ask God? He didn’t. David asked the people around him, but he didn’t ask God about moving the ark. 

“The whole assembly agreed to do this, because it seemed right to all the people.” 1 Chronicles 13:4 NIV

Why did all the people agree? Because they thought it was right. Notice here, God isn’t even mentioned. 

Next, we need to look at how the ark was brought back. 

“They moved the ark of God from Abinadab’s house on a new cart, with Uzzah and Ahio guiding it.” 1 Chronicles 13:7 NIV

If we look back to Numbers 4, we will find God’s specific instructions for moving the ark. It was supposed to be carried on poles and by Levites. When David decided to bring the ark back, he placed it on a cart, not poles. And there is no mention of the two men, Uzzah and Ahio, being from the Levitical tribe. Both of these things went against God’s very specific orders. 

God insisted on this level of care with carrying the ark for one simple reason. It was holy. God dwelled on the ark’s seat between the two cherubim, and God is holy. To be holy is to be set apart, consecrated, sacred. Honestly, I have a hard time comprehending the holiness of God. I think we all do. It’s worth noting, that it’s the only characteristic of God repeated three times together by the angels. 

“Day and night they never stop saying: “Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty, who was, and is, and is to come.’” Revelations 4:8 NIV

Uzzah died, because God was left out of the decision to move the ark from the beginning. David didn’t consult Him, he didn’t follow His instructions about how to move it or who should move it. And for that, God killed Uzzah for touching the ark. God is holy. He cannot compromise his holiness, or others would also disrespect Him.

So, let’s come back to that question: is God fair? 

When we ask this, we are really asking, did you treat me in an equal way that I deserve to be treated?

We didn’t deserve God’s Son dying on a cross for us. We could never earn that level of sacrifice. The holy, omnipotent, all-powerful God allowed His Son to suffer and die in our place. So in answer to our question: God is better than fair. If He treated us fair, then we would die for our own sins. Instead, He allowed Jesus to die in our place. 

So what do I take away from Uzzah’s sad tale? Go to God first and revere His holiness. Even when the thing I’m doing appears to be good, such as David bringing the ark back to Jerusalem, I must first humble myself before the Lord and ask for wisdom. And always remember He is holy, holy, holy.

God, thank you for using your Word to open my eyes to your holiness. You alone are worthy to be praised. May I always come to you for wisdom. Amen.  

As I was getting ready last Sunday for church, I fell deep in my thoughts. I’m not sure what provoked it, but I began thinking about a person who hurt me. This individual severed our friendship, but I don’t understand why. I ran through scenarios of what could have happened. I thought of many possibilities of what I might have done to cause this person enough pain to cut me off. It’s an old hurt but a deep one. 

As I thought of possibilities of what I might have done, I also thought, “Who are you to share God’s truth when you don’t know how to show love? Obviously – because you’ve caused such hurt.”It didn’t stop there. 

“Who do you think you are? No one listens to what you post on Facebook or anywhere else. Who cares what you say? People only tolerate you. They scroll on past. You need to stop sharing what you think is God’s truth. If you can’t even figure out why you hurt this person, what makes you think you are smart enough to share something as complicated as the Word of God?”

The lies were familiar. I’ve heard them before, and I’m sure I will hear them again. Before I spiraled into self-doubt, I stopped and prayed. “Lord, please shut satan’s mouth. Block out the lies. Help me to know your Truth. Draw near me, Lord.” 

I continued applying my make-up but couldn’t shake the feeling. I thought about asking my husband to pray for me, but I even worried about that. “He will know I’m dwelling on all this more than I should. I don’t want to ask him.”

Y’all satan is tricky. He whispered lies and wanted me to feel alone. He didn’t want me to ask for help, which is why I swallowed my pride and walked into the bedroom and did just that. My sweet godly husband stood up, drew me to him, and said, “Carol, satan always starts with ‘Who are…’ but God starts with ‘You are…’ Remember that.” Then he prayed over me. 

The peace that comes from prayer is like no other. I decided to open up to each of you, my readers, and show my vulnerability because I want you to know you are not alone. Satan wants us to believe we can’t share our feelings. Don’t believe that lie. 

Don’t believe the lies he whispers in the depths of your soul. After my experience, I thought I would make a list of some of the lies we hear and combat them with Truth from God’s Word. I’ve made it a downloadable PDF, so you can print this and post it where you will see it often or place it in your Bible. 

God, my prayer today is to see myself through Your eyes. I am who you say that I am. Block out satan’s lies. Bind him and cast him far from here. Fill me with your spirit. Amen. 

Samson’s story is a popular one. But today I want to talk about his beginning – his birth. Samson’s father was named Manoah, from the tribe of Dan. Let’s not overlook this important point. Dan was one of Jacob’s sons; this one born to Bilhah, Rachel’s handmaiden. Rachel named him. 

“And Rachel said, God hath judged me, and hath also heard my voice, and hath given me a son: therefore called she his name Dan.” (Gen. 30:6 KJV)

So it’s not surprising that Samson, who was born to be one of the great judges of Israel was born from the tribe of Dan, whose name meant “judge.”

Samson’s mother was barren. She was visited by an angel of the Lord who told her she would have a son who would deliver Israel from the hand of the Philistines. 

(Don’t miss this exciting allusion to Jesus’ birth. Mary was also visited by an angel who told her that she would have a son who would deliver people from their sins.)

The details surrounding the son were not simple. 

“Now therefore, please be careful not to drink wine or similar drink, and not to eat anything unclean. For behold, you shall conceive and bear a son. And no razor shall come upon his head, for the child shall be a Nazirite to God from the womb; and he shall begin to deliver Israel out of the hand of the Philistines.” (Judges 13:4-5 NKJV)

When the angel left, Samson’s mom ran to tell her husband what happened, telling him a man of God visited. Manoah’s response was to pray to God and ask Him to send the man back. He wanted to be sure they raised the son in the proper way and wanted to clarify the instructions. Essentially, he said, “Do it again, Lord!”

And won’t He do it?

“And God listened to the voice of Manoah, and the Angel of God came to the woman again as she was sitting in the field; but Manoah her husband was not with her. Then the woman ran in haste and told her husband, and said to him, “Look, the Man who came to me the other day has just now appeared to me!” (Judges 13:9-10 NKJV)

God sent the angel back. Let’s stop here and clap a minute. First let’s clap because haven’t we all been in Manoah’s shoes? God speaks, then we want to please him and so we ask, “Would you come back and do it again?” We want confirmation. 

But then I want to clap because God did it! He returned to give the instructions again. God doesn’t want to keep us in darkness. He want us to know how to follow Him and do His will. 

This story isn’t over. It just keeps getting richer. Manoah tells the man of God, which we know is an angel of the Lord, to stay while he prepares a meal for him. But the angel say he won’t eat the bread. Instead, He tells Manoah to prepare it as a burnt offering to the Lord. I think Manoah is starting to realize this is no ordinary man because he then asks, “What is thy name?”

This is where I get a little Bible nerdy. The angel responds, “Why askest thou thus after my name, seeing it is secret?” (v. 18 KJV)

The Hebrew word used for secret here is piliy, which means “wonderful, beyond understanding.” Some Bible versions even substitute the word “wonderful” in place of  “secret.” Where have you heard the word “wonderful” in scripture that stands out to you? 

“For unto us a Child is born, Unto us a Son is given; And the government will be upon His shoulder. And His name will be called Wonderful, Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.” (Isaiah 9:6 NKJV)

The Hebrew word for “wonderful” used here in Isaiah is pele, which means “wonder, miracle, astounding thing.” Both piliy and pele come from the root word pala, which means “to be wonderful, be marvelous, be amazing.” Essentially, these words are saying the same thing. But the use of this word in Judges not only alludes to Jesus, it has the “man of God” essentially saying that He is God. Is that not mind blowing to you?

While I have heard Samson’s story many times, it seems I brushed past the foretelling of his birth in earlier readings and missed some treasure in scripture. I’m walking away with three truths from this passage. 

1. When we ask God to show up, He does. 

2. Jesus has been there from the beginning. 

3. Sometimes God Himself is right in front of us.  

God, thank you today for your Word. Thank you for opening my eyes and heart to understand and know you more. Help me to see you in action. Do it again, Lord! Amen. 

The day is creeping in, and no amount of stalling, crying, stomping, or pouting will slow it down. My baby, the sweet boy I gave birth to in a flash of eighteen years, will leave for college in one week. Let me repeat that for those of you who didn’t feel the weight of it. ONE. WEEK.

In one week, our lives will be forever changed. If you happen to see me and I look like a bad episode of a soap opera, it’s because I’ve probably been crying. If you are talking to me and my eyes suddenly look glassy and full, either hand me a tissue or hug me because the tears are coming. 

And while I am FULL OF EMOTIONS (please clap as you say each word for emphasis), I want this. I’ve had quite a few friends ask if he would be coming home every weekend, as his college is only two hours away. And each time they ask, my response is the same – I hope not! Most of them look at me confused. So let me explain myself. 

I am crying about my son leaving for college, but this is the way it is supposed to be. Baby birds eventually leave the nest. And college is just a small version of this. He will still come home occasionally for food, laundry, money, and Christmas gifts. I want him to go because I want him to experience all the things that college brings. 

When I went to college, I learned that not everyone was like me. I have always attended public school, but most of my friends also went to church with me. My eyes were opened to all kinds of backgrounds – and that was a good thing. It made me thankful for mine, and helped me to embrace all people. I learned how to balance my time and be responsible for getting to class and turning in projects and papers. I learned how to say no to going out when I needed to study, and I learned the consequences of saying yes to going out and not studying. 

I learned how to stretch my money and eat cheap. I learned how to get along with people I didn’t like. When I moved into an apartment for grad school, I learned how to grocery shop and cook. I learned how to pay the light bill and where to keep the thermostat. I learned I would grow in the areas I placed my time and energy. I learned how to eat alone and be okay with that.

So, I want my son to learn all those things and more. Yes, I’m crying. But I’m crying because I can’t believe he is eighteen. I’m crying because we have made it this far, and his daddy and I have kept him alive and successful. I’m teary because God has blessed us with such an amazing kid. I’m nostalgic thinking of all the fun times we’ve had as a family of five. I’m thinking of the days he spent skateboarding in the driveway and playing down the street at the neighbor’s house. I’m even thinking of the more recent days where he went to breakfast with his friends from high school. I’m thinking of the football games we have watched him play. I’m thinking of going to see him at his first job. 

I’m thinking of all the times I’ve driven him to practice, to church, to buy shoes, to Bible study – all the conversations we’ve had in the car driving. I’m realizing all those conversations were about him processing life and what was happening in his. I’m realizing all that time was preparing him for now. His daddy and I have poured into him. We have tried to teach him right from wrong, how to greet someone, how to write a thank-you note, how to look someone in the eye, how to hold the door for someone behind you, how to treat a lady. And now it is time he go into the world and test his wings. 

So, yes, I’m crying about my son leaving for college. But I want him to go. I know this is the way of things. I’m also crying tears of happiness and excitement, because I can’t wait to see where God will take him. So if you see me, don’t worry if I cry. Just hug me and smile and say, “Good job, mama.” We are all going to be okay. 

“Mama, can you tie my shoes?” 

He hasn’t asked me that in years. He worked at his tie, while I got down on the floor and tied his shoes. My son was watching the clock like a hawk. “I can’t even be one minute late they said or I’ll miss the picture,” he told me. 

I looked at his shoes, dark brown leather, the kind his father wears. The slick little round laces were so different from the ones I had last tied on him. When he was five, I remember buying him a pair of New Balance tennis shoes. When I put them on his feet and tied them, he stood up and hopped from one foot to the other, spending just a few seconds balancing on each. Then he proclaimed, “Yep! They give me great new balance!”

As a young boy, he always had to test out new shoes to see how fast they were. No matter how little space we would have between the racks of the shoe store, he would race a few steps one way and then the other and proclaim them fast. The thick flat sport laces of kids’ tennis shoes were so different from the ones before me. These were more mature laces for a grown up shoe – and boy. 

I hurried to tie them, only pausing to ask if he wanted double knots. “No, they are fine,” he told me. I looked up at all six-foot-five of him. I saw how anxious he was to get out the door, but I paused a second. My emotions perched on my bottom lids all morning, waiting for permission to fall. My seventeen-year-old had tied his own shoes for many years. But in that moment, on my knees, before my son who is almost a man, I was so thankful. Thankful he was in a hurry – in a hurry enough to ask his mama to tie his shoes. 

And one more time, I tied my son’s shoes before he walked out the door for graduation practice. I pulled the bows tight and stood to my feet, still not even coming to his chin. 

“Okay, you are ready!” I pronounced. “I’ll grab your gown.” 

I followed him to his truck and carefully hung his graduation gown and cords in the seat next to him. 

“Have fun. I love you!” I told him and carefully shut the door to avoid catching the gown in it. He backed up and took off down the dirt road. 

My tears spilled over as I watched him drive away, and I realized it. 

His shoes were way too fast.