Shell In Your Pocket

"What To Expect When You Are Expecting" Never Warned Me About This

noreply@blogger.com (Shell in your Pocket) — Fri, 19 Oct 2018 12:58:00 +0000

I remember the day I purchased the book "What To Expect When You Are Expecting"...I don't even know if new moms still read that book anymore. But, it was only shy of three days after finding out I was pregnant for the first time till I dived into this book and read it cover to cover. I so needed this book. I was the pregnant woman who called the Ob/Gyn because I ate a Hershey kiss and had heard that caffeine can hurt the baby so I called the office to make sure my baby was okay. For a new mom it exposes all the exciting things that will happen inside you or it can also scare you silly where you close the book and claim that "ignorance is bliss". But in any case, this book warned of all the changes that would take place but after 20 years from the time I picked up that book for the first time...I realized a chapter is missing.

The book warns you about varicose veins, breast feeding and what you need to buy to when you bring the baby home from the hospital. But, the book never mentions that one day after you have poured your life into this little human and even quite proud of the little "kingdom" you created in raising this baby that one day he will gladly walk out those doors full of excitement and hope for the future that he will build. While you are left there with just memories, left over mismatched socks and a faint of smell of his cologne looming in his bedroom.

I was warned of the stretch marks and emotional highs and lows of pregnancy but the book never told me what it would be like when he grows up. It's such an emotional tug of war of being excited and wanting to heap in a ball of tears.

It's this stage that we moms go through silently. There is not much discussion and there is no book.

We don't really talk about this awkward and sad stage of kids growing up because there is fear of labels or weakness. Who wants to be called a "helicopter"' mom or can't cut the apron strings?? It's really never talked about in our circle of friends...maybe a few things here and there. But admitting that you miss your college kid almost is like admitting you don't have a life of your own or it shows almost a pathetic side. I never knew this taboo of this stage of life but it's all around me with my circle of friends. Honestly, I am sick of it...I am tired of talking about his major, his future co-op...I want to talk about that I miss him! Like a deep down missing...aching like missing!

Last night, my friend stopped by last minute, thank goodness I had soup on the stove and bread in the oven (Well of course, I did b/c we have more food around then ever since he left for college). As we talked about our sons, I was just honest (FINALLY!) that I miss him...I miss hearing his voice, I miss seeing him sit at the island, I even miss him fighting with his sisters about their hair in the shower. I miss his sarcasm and his funny little jokes. Then she told me about when her son came home for a night, she cried (like ugly crying) when she saw her son lying on his bed in the room. There it was...finally....just to hear her talk was almost healing. I finally felt like I was normal(maybe) and not alone in all of this.

Those fear of "labels" subsided as we talked. It was almost healing and maybe finally talking about it will help me get through this very stage of parenting (until my next kid graduates). It's like we raised the "white flags" and surrender...maybe this will help us "heal" that missing part of our hearts or at least stitch it up a bit.

Maybe the chapter is not missing but an entire new book needs to be written called "What to Expect When They Leave" is needed or maybe just creating the freedom to share honestly about this stage of life without judgment or pity can be the answer to healing for us mommas.

And you know what is completely CRAZY in all of this....I wouldn't change a thing. He is where he needs to be which is getting an education and making a "life" for himself. But that doesn't change the empty feelings and all those memories swirling in my head. I want to be true to how I feel without making excuses for my sadness. Mothers in this "stage of life"....WE need to talk about it! We use to rely on our playgroups to get us through teething, all nighters and hours of Thomas The Train. Sharing our feelings and talking about it over a cup of coffee with no kids in sight with a good friend may be the answer to navigating in this stage of motherhood.

Well, excuse me while I look at some more baby books and count down the days till I get to do his laundry at Thanksgiving...this is me and it's a little raw but it's real.

Her college bound freshman

noreply@blogger.com (Shell in your Pocket) — Sun, 14 Aug 2016 20:13:00 +0000

Hello.
It's been a long time...that is what happens when you have kids...family--just day to day "things" that call you somewhere else but in front of your computer. So why I am here...now? I have a house of teenagers and they sure can keep you busy.

I thought of this little blog after I said goodbye to a friend in the vegetable aisle. We stood there for about 40 minutes...talking. Words couldn't come to me that afternoon standing in the vegetable aisle but I listened, I even teared up because I knew I am only one step behind her.

That late morning, she just dropped her freshman college off at the airport. He is off chasing his dreams. That morning, when she stood at that terminal she passed that baton on...she moved from #1 care taker to "cheerleader". She has made the similar decisions that I have. We put our degrees, our education, our "own" dreams to stay home and raise kids. It was our choice and what we wanted. We heard the critics, we explained ourselves over and over again. But, in the back of our mind as the years pass, we knew our "path" is short lived. We question our choices, we pick up pieces that have been ignored...our identity is there but not as strong as when we were a kindergarten "mama".

There is so much out there when you a mother with babies, toddlers and elementary kids but it dies off... like right over a cliff "dies" off! Moms of older kids go into this "solitary" business...you are around people but you are moving to the next pickup line, the next practice...driving keys to your teenager b/c he locked them in the car, helping fill out early college applications. There is no MOPS group...no MOMS club...no nursery pick up line...and even if there was--you couldn't go.

It's cute...it's fun to hear of the kindergarten mom who is rolled up in the fetal position after dropping off their 5 year old to kindergarten. But, it's not cute with the mom who said goodbye...."see you at Christmas" to her 17 year old college bound, across the country. She will will be labeled "helicopter" mom, get-a-life mom...

So even though this 40 something woman is a completely different person than her 30 something counterpart. She is more confident and really doesn't care what anyone thinks but somehow she retreats to herself...she puts on that front. She is his biggest "fan"and is cheering him nervously as he moves to the next stage of life. But what she forgets and what we fail to tell her...

She is strong. She is more successful than that CEO sitting there behind the desk. She just did one heck of a job raising a strong, independent, loving son. He is doing all that he is suppose to do. Her job will never be over but she gave her child roots and NOW wings. But that doesn't erase the sadness, the "loss" of him there everyday...that daily interaction..that empty bedroom.

In her tear filled eyes, she looked at me and told me that everyone has told her she should be excited that he is gone. Maybe they are "grieving" but don't want to show it or maybe they are ready to get on with their own lives....I don't know. But, not every mom feels that way about her college bound student...but we should never shame a mom for this "grief".

She told me that she had a whole "cheering" section when her son was potty trained...when he left for kindergarten...made that first team...had his first "puppy" love BUT the day that her son showed that application for a west coast school. She carefully chose words and showed support even excitement for his future but that "cheering" section was not there...they were too busy looking at college applications and figuring out how they were going to pay for college.

It takes someone strong to make someone strong. But even the "strong" ones need hugs... SO hug that mom who is saying goodbye to her college bound kid this Fall. I have so many friends walking this path this week...this one is for all of you who will drive home teary! It's ok.

Farmers Market and Summer Lunches

noreply@blogger.com (Shell in your Pocket) — Wed, 28 May 2014 18:18:00 +0000

I finally went to my first farmers market of the season. It was slim picking but some of my favorite vendors were there! There is an amazing baker who bakes french bread in a big stone oven at the market. The bread taste like a mixture of "bacon" and "smoke"...it truly is delish! He also sells an amazing marinade that you can use on veggies, meats or even the french bread! The problem is the bread only last one day at my house b/c everyone eats it!

This time I also tried a vendor who makes hummus. OH MY! It was the best hummus I have ever had! Okay...where are the veggies and the fruits, you are thinking??!! Who has time for veggies and fruits when you can buy bread and hummus!??

I was hoping to find lots of fresh veggies {I really was!} but just not quite the season yet! Let's talk summer lunches...we have a new thing on our lunch MENU! We need new things on our menu b/c my kids are tired of sandwiches and grilled hot dogs. It's probaly not new to you but my kids are in love and I am happy b/c it's easy! We have been doing bake potatoes with all the fixings for lunch! I just coat them with olive oil, sea salt and prick them. Put them in the oven for about an hour at 400 degrees. The kids love them and it gives them a break from sandwiches! We put everything from shredded cheddar cheese, butter, bacon, cream cheese, sour cream...my son requested "pot roast" on top of his...really??? He is such a meat and potato type of guy!

It's a great lunch especially when swim team starts in the morning---it will be a perfect full-of-carb lunch to regain all that energy they burned!

Good Ole' Holiday Weekend

noreply@blogger.com (Shell in your Pocket) — Tue, 27 May 2014 04:00:00 +0000

Another Memorial Weekend is done... We had a great one! Visited with some dear friends, farmers market, smores, paddleboats, picnic lunch and absolutely perfect weather~

I pulled out my grandmothers picnic basket and took it with us on Monday. She is no longer with us but she was an amazing sewer. My grandfather had redone the basket and she put in an entire lining with cute pockets even a place for straws! When I opened it up that morning to pack the food, a smell filled the air that reminded me of my grandmother. It has a certain smell...this many years and it was still there...it was bittersweet. My grandparents would of enjoyed being with my kids.

We went to our town's parade. I love parades! It always gives me chills when the armed forces march down the street and everyone stands and claps. All the cute older veteran men sitting in floats and waving...it's a great reminder that our freedom is so not "free". As I stood by my teenage son, it hit home even closer when the cars went by with the "mothers" who lost their sons in war. What a cost and a such a great loss for those mothers...one day of "remembering" doesn't seem enough.

It was a great Memorial Day!

Home Is Where The POOL is!

noreply@blogger.com (Shell in your Pocket) — Fri, 23 May 2014 18:20:00 +0000

Well, our pool opened about two weeks ago...it takes quite some time to get the pool ready from chemicals to leaves. In many ways we are blessed to have so many trees around our pool for privacy but they can be messy! I have one tree in the yard that goes through the "SEVEN PLAGUES" all through the summer from berries, birds, bugs, leaves...it's a mess!

So those first few weeks are very bittersweet...it's a completely "Love/Hate" relationship with my pool! But, once it gets all done and things seem to be running smoother and the kids are in...it's like Birth and Labor...you forget all the "pain"!

It's really summer when the back yard smells like sun tan lotion...all the lunches are enjoyed outside and lots of wet towels for me to do (wink!).

It's summer around here for sure...

Popover Fun!

noreply@blogger.com (Shell in your Pocket) — Wed, 21 May 2014 12:11:00 +0000

I have been on a HUGE Popover kick! Popovers are a biscuit like bread. They are great with dinners like pot roast or chili. We love them for breakfast with cinnamon butter. There are so many different variations of popovers from the basic to the more complex ones.

The secret to great Popovers is a very HOT oven and light on "mixing". I also follow the rule that you don't OPEN the oven door while it's baking! If you follow these simple rules, you will have airy and light popovers!

I have been making basic ones. But, if you get on Pinterest, you can read about those who add everything to their popovers from blueberries, cream, vanilla extract to chocolate chips. Popovers are super easy to make and very few ingredients! When I started my popover baking, I used a regular muffin pan which did work! Does the "popover" special pan work better??? Well, yes but not completely necessary at all!

I had a hard time finding a "popover" pan so I ended up ordering it here on Amazon.

Popovers taste better if they are warm in my opinion. I don't like cold popovers at all! They are really "bland" if you eat them alone without some type of flavored butter. If you go to my Pinterest board, I have pinned all kinds of Popover recipes---I am going to try to make Strawberry Shortcake with popovers...I think that could be totally delish!

Recipe for Popovers

2 eggs

1 cup of flour

1 cup of milk
1/4 tsp of salt

Preheat oven to 450; Stick you pan in the oven (greased) while the oven is warming up; Mix all the ingredients together(be careful to not over mix!); Take out "hot" pan and pour mixture into 6 muffin halfway; Put in oven for 20 minutes: DO NOT OPEN THE OVEN DOOR;Reduce heat to 350 and bake another 20 minutes; Remove immediately and serve!

Monday Morning Tea "Necessity"

noreply@blogger.com (Shell in your Pocket) — Mon, 19 May 2014 11:23:00 +0000

It's Monday morning...early! I just finished my first cup of tea for the day! Some of you have written me and asked what is my favorite tea and how do I make it. So I thought today was a great day to answer those questions.

I really don't have a favorite "tea". I love all kinds of tea from bagged tea to loose leaf. It really matters what kind of mood I am in. Lately, I have been in love with a loose leaf till by Churchill teas. It is truly the most delightful tea...Lemon Drop tea. I brew it then add just a little milk and 1/2 tsp. of sugar and it is so good. You can purchase the tea here. They deliver tea all over the U.S.A.. I also recommend their Creme Brulee tea--it's another good one!

First, I think any good cup of tea starts with a pretty cup. I truly do--if you are drinking your tea out of a FAT ole mug or insulated cup--StOp! Tea needs to be sipped from a pretty tea cup--it really does! You can find tea cups almost anywhere...but two of my favorite stores are this and that. I have seen pretty tea cups at yard sales, too.

Second, you need to have a good "tea" brewer! I think Teavana has the best tea infuser there is! It is easy to clean and after the tea brews...it pours directly into your cup! I use it almost every day and makes "loose leaf" tea easy to use! No mess! You can also use it to make cold tea---it is worth $25! It's one of my favorite things!!!You can purchase it here or some areas have stores!

So black tea is to be brewed no longer than 3 minutes(or it will get bitter)....in my tea cup I put a little sugar and a little cream. Yes, I use just a little cream- you do have to be careful b/c some tea "curdles". I had my first cup of tea with my Canadian grandma many years ago and it has stuck with me every since. I do drink green tea without cream and some herbal teas. But, overall, I am a "cream" with my tea kinda of girl! There is a fat-free creamer by Land of Lakes that is excellent and I can't tell the difference b/t that and the real thing!

After the tea is brewed, I pour it in my "ready" tea cup and stir. Enjoy...

"Life is like a cup of tea, it's all on how you Make it"

Weekending

noreply@blogger.com (Shell in your Pocket) — Sat, 17 May 2014 20:40:00 +0000

It's sure a weekend around here. Last night, had kids spend the night...I think the last kid to fall asleep was around 3am! I don't know what it is but the WORD "s.l.e.e.p.o.v.e.r." at my house ...really should be STAY-UP over...no one sleeps at sleepovers at my house!

Today, we have soccer games...love my son's coach b/c he moved the game indoors! I think the last game we were pelted with rain that went side ways for over an hour. I don't think ANYONE wanted to re-live that experience again...thank you very much!

Hang out, little grocery shopping, a little baking...

Tomorrow we are going NORTH to visit my best friend and her family--church, lunch and whatever else we can get ourselves into...I am making my favorite summer dessert--Fruit pizza!

I have tried lots of "fruit recipes" over the year. But, a friend from an old playgroup many years ago, told me how she used refrigerated sugar cookie dough and I have done it every since. It's so yummy! I use a 9x13 pan; bake the sugar Pillsbury cookie; then mix up a (8oz)tub of cool whip, 8 oz. cream cheese and 1/2 cup of sugar for the filling; dump that on top and spread over cooled cookie; then throw on top blueberries, blackberries, strawberries and kiwi. It looks so pretty but even taste better than it looks!

It starting to feel like summer around here b/c our pool opened this week, I made strawberry lemonade, the pool towel basket is out, bought a stash of suntan lotion this week.... we are heading in the right direction

The Entrance to my nest...

noreply@blogger.com (Shell in your Pocket) — Fri, 16 May 2014 14:48:00 +0000

I already know what I will be when I grow up? I will be the 80 year old woman with the big straw hat, garden gloves, tan wrinkled skin in her garden. I am at the beginning of one of my favorite times of the year....I love the warm days and the cool, wet mornings. My favorite time of the day is to sneak out of the house around 6:30a.m. and sweep my porch, water my flowers, dig in the dirt and then make a hot cup of coffee...all while the house is quiet. I will have to adjust my time to 5:30am b/c swim team practice is just around the corner and my kids have to be at the pool at 7:00am....that puts a little "dent" in my enjoyable morning:).

I have been slowly working on my front porch... I have always dreamed of a wrapped around porch with white wicker furniture. But, I am thankful for what I have...but I can't do white b/c of our house color so I have "black" wicker. I think front porches are so fun! I have had small front porches and large front porches...either one ...you can have fun decorating it! It's a great area to buy garage/yard sale stuff and paint! It doesn't have to look perfect outside...as a matter of fact a little chip paint here and there adds to it~

Flowers , wicker, ferns, solar candles (real candles scare me!), watering cans, glass bottles, tin buckets, signs, metal....you can almost use anything to decorate a porch. I never use to like ferns and really couldn't understand why people bought them but I have come to love them. I think they are a great porch plant and geraniums work really well too!

Just a place to welcome all those who come and a place for me to hide....but they always find me!

Chocolate Chip Scones (easy!)

noreply@blogger.com (Shell in your Pocket) — Thu, 15 May 2014 00:50:00 +0000

I take a little trip to Trader Joes about every two weeks if I can! It's not very far but it's one of those things that takes a little planning for me to get there. I was reading a article about the top 14 things bought at Trader Joes and to my surprise I have not bought ONE of those items. Of course, I have a few of those suggestions on my next list to try...

One of my favorite items to make are their chocolate chip scones! You just add water and they are so good and fairly "light". It's a perfect treat to go along with tea! I made them today so my kids could take them to testing tomorrow. Probaly not the "healthiest" snack for taking the Stanford testing but it works!

I have a couple great scone recipes...you know the kind with buttermilk, rolling, cutting! But, honestly, I think these are just as good! I have been pleased with many of the organic, boxed Trader Joe baked goods...love the pumpkin bread, cornbread and guilt free brownies. It's all yummy!

Oh~I had to share these beauties....from my husband and kids for Mother's Day! They are so beautiful~ It's a hydrangea tree and I need to plant it but I am enjoying them so much in my kitchen. I just love this flower especially the purple petals!

I washed 70 towels a week!

noreply@blogger.com (Shell in your Pocket) — Tue, 13 May 2014 04:00:00 +0000

I was sitting in my car with a friend and we were heading into Traders Joe together. Somehow, we got on the topic of "laundry" and my crazy, daily piles of towels. After telling her my dilemma, she looked right at me and said "That needs to stop and it needs to STOP now.". I couldn't of agreed with her more!!!

My family of five uses a NEW towel EVERY time they shower or go to swim team. Well, everyone pretty much takes a shower every day and I have two who take TWO showers a day(due to exercise and gym). So that is SEVEN (7) towels plus I have three on swim team so that is THREE(3) more towels. Which means that we use 10 NEW towels a day...EVERYDAY...FOR almost 7 days! So that is 70 TOWELS a week that I wash! It' s crazy...it's embarrassing....it stresses me out...it make my hair gray and my toes become numb! Seriously, it's wasteful and it's just plain NUTS!

THIS does NOT include the season when our backyard pool opens up and everyone is taking new beach towels for swimming EVERY SINGLE SOLITARY DAY or when my kids graciously pass out towels to all their friends! I noticed last year some friends just didn't even bring towels anymore. My life is Towels!

I dream towels...

So later that week, after gnawing on her wise advice....I bought ONE different COLOR towel for each member of my family at the store. I came home and called an emergency meeting and showed everyone their new towel! Now, my husband is not wasteful so he will be on board. But, he flies and is in hotels constantly so he enjoys fluffy clean white towels on a consistent basis. My girls were fine but my teenage son was completely speechless and after finding his words...the only thing he could say was "What if the towel is wet the next day???". The only response I had was pretty much figure it out...flap it in the air...hang it outside your bedroom window...I don't know but this momma isn't doing it anymore!

So ONE TOWEL for each member of my family for five days....one SWIM towel for each member of my family for five days....this equals EIGHT towels--- I just eliminated at least 62 towels a week!

62????!!!!

Aaaahhhhh..... I know you are thinking who has 70 towels...I do! They are not very nice and some of them should be dust rags but we do! If we run out, my family would go into the hall linen closet and pull out "keepsake towels" like our toddler initial towels, Winnie The Pooh towels ...even the baby hooded towels. I have even seen one family member (I will not mention names) use a baby hooded towel in the morning.

My life has changed.....truly! Yesterday, I looked into my dirty clothes hamper and there was barely nothing there. I thought it had dumped out behind the door but it hadn't--there were no towels! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! My family is not nearly as excited but I couldn't be more thrilled!

Here's to 7 towels! It's like symphony music to my ears...

p.s. What did I do with the 62 towels??? I packed them up in bins and hid them!

Baseball and fun...

noreply@blogger.com (Shell in your Pocket) — Mon, 12 May 2014 04:00:00 +0000

My friends at our Classical Conversation co-op are always talking about this "baseball" place in our area. I have never had the chance to go but they talk about the great family atmosphere, free ice cream, bouncy houses and just great family fun! There have been emails going back and forth about the tournament this past week and some of my friends went every day!

So finally the kids and I made it there this past week! And as one friend said "This is one of our area's best kept secrets!". I would have to agree! We had such a fun morning with friends and even while we were leaving more friends were coming for the day! I am not really sure what the company does but they built this amazing baseball complex and they open it up to the public. The kids can do bouncy houses, corn haul, games and FREE ice cream. Plus watch some fun baseball games in an amazing baseball diamond...clean, Christian music...it's really amazing! I am sad that it took us soooooo long to finally visit there!

My kids had a blast with friends. I had a soft serve yogurt with sprinkles...for some reason that tasted so good. My friend and I were laughing that she hasn't had "sprinkles" on her ice cream since she was 12----but I think we enjoyed it more than the kids!

Besides it being just a wonderful day--here is a company really giving back to the community and it's families that live there! Just a fun day and I can't wait to go back again!

50 reasons why I love him...

noreply@blogger.com (Shell in your Pocket) — Sat, 10 May 2014 03:42:00 +0000

I am breaking all our "rules" today and I am posting about YOU...pictures and all!

Today, you are 50!

I could write all the "50" jokes here but since we creatively "decorated" your car with them...no need! Or maybe I could talk about the Centrum 50 vitamins we bought you or the arthritis cream or maybe your LARGE PRINT vitamin holder but I will spare the "gloomy" details...

18, 250 days

438,000 hours

childhood, college, graduation

marriage,

5 houses, 7 moves

3 children.

Time changes,

yet our love and commitment

stays the same.

50 reasons...I love you...

I love your silly laugh and your "Saturday night" skit explanation of things; I love your sneaky smile; I love that you call me every day and ask me if I need something from the store; I love that you call our kids at night when you are out of town and talk with each one of them; I love that you take pictures and videos; I love that you send those videos to my parents; I love that you call my dad;

I love that you have let me pick every house, every piece of furniture and every paint color; I love that you say dinner is "good" every night; I love the way you "rock" grey hair; I love your hard work; I love your dedication; I love that you are SO old-fashion; I love your southern draw; I love that you make us feel safe; I love that you care for us; I love that you give to our children so unselfishly; I love that you are passionate; I love that you are politically incorrect;I love the way you love your parents; I love the way you loved your dad; I love that you can show emotion;

I love that you put up with my moods; I love that you can outlast our kids at the amusement park;

I love that you are a great dad; I love that we are committed to one another; I love that you love traditions; I love your handwriting; I love the way you protect our girls; I love the way you save; I love the way you put up with my spending; I love your caring heart; I love that you watch Home and Garden with me; I love that you take our girls to Justice and pick out clothes;I love that you call our son to make sure he is safe to his destination;

I love that you concerned for our kids; I love that you pray; I love that you go to church with us; I love that you cook breakfast and set the table; I love that you put up with my talking during football games; I love that you iron better than me;

I love that you are not wasteful; I love that your energy and devotion is to your family; I love that you are calm in hectic situations; I love the way you conduct yourself in business;

I love that I can always talk you into pizza; I love that I met you 20 years ago; I love that you are the father of my children; I love that you are my husband; I love you.

Happy 50th birthday, Mr. Sandy Toes!

When God Shuts a "Door"

noreply@blogger.com (Shell in your Pocket) — Fri, 09 May 2014 03:47:00 +0000

I think it's always amazing how easy it is for me to trust in the Lord when life is going good or things are going my way.

Over the past month or so, a huge "desire of my heart" seemed to be happening...as each week passed...it seemed more evident that it would. Surprisingly, it was something that I thought would never happen even years ago....it was something I wanted so badly but I faced the "reality" that this would NOT be my reality. So I dealt with it, made the best of it and tried to find peace and blessing with what I did have over the years. It was hard at times....and sometimes the "lack of it" would creep it's ugly head of discontentment but I would "stuff it away again.

Over the last few weeks, I (I should say "we) thought something amazing would come true. I thought about it, I planned for it....I kept it quiet however as the days passed...I told those close to me about it. It's amazing how we forget the 'desires of our heart' but when they appear again...we forget how badly we wanted it and missed it...

But, sadly, this door has been "shut"...what we thought would be...is not! I forgot how much I wanted it until I thought I had it then lost it. I am notorious for surrounding myself with activities and friends and busyness to avoid the quietness of reality. I had already in my mind over the past week ran a bunch of great ideas for a post exclaiming the "desires of my heart" had been answered but instead today it's a post about trusting in the Lord.

This is my verse today in Proverbs...

Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.

It's so easy to believe it when trusting is easy and life is good...but it's a whole different situation when life gives you a curve ball... or you think to yourself what in the world was the PURPOSE in all this...in these events...in this possibility.

I was content and now I am not.

Even though right now...I don't understand the purpose of this past month...I am trying to remind myself that God is sovereign and that I need to be careful of a discontented spirit.

My prayer is...

Whatever He gives me — let me thankfully receive it.

Whatever He denies me — let me be satisfied without it.

Whatever He takes from me — let me uncomplainingly part with it.

Whatever trial He lays on me — let me endeavor patiently to bear it.

Yes, my lot in life, with all its attendant circumstances, is chosen by God!

I have this on a bookmark in my Bible and today...it is my prayer. The Lord opened the "door" and now He closed it. A big part of faith is trusting God when you don't understand it...it can seem perfect..it can be anything from a relationship, job promotion or family situation. But when God shuts the door it is easy to be bitter or throw a self pity party... but as easy as that is for me I want to keep trusting...

Isaiah 55:8-9
8 For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. 9 As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.

His ways are higher than my ways~

Divide and Conquer...with ice cream!

noreply@blogger.com (Shell in your Pocket) — Wed, 07 May 2014 23:37:00 +0000

May is always a busy time of the year for us...I think it is for a lot of people. It seems that winter/early Spring stuff is winding down but summer stuff is beginning too. My husband and I pretty much "Divide and Conquer" all the nightly activities for our three kids...my girls have started back up with swimming and my son is joining in the fun, too this summer!

I haven't been able to get to my son's game for a while so I went to his week night game! My husband did the "swimming" and 4H meeting:). It was fun to see his game....he played against some of his team members on his regular Fall team so that made it exciting. He had a great game and was fun to watch.

After, we spent a little time together and had an ice cream at Orange Leaf. It was such a nice evening and sitting outside eating ice cream was sooooooo nice! I try to "sneak" in little time together in between all our activities...even if that means we are eating ice cream for dinner! :)

Summer Reading...

noreply@blogger.com (Shell in your Pocket) — Mon, 05 May 2014 13:04:00 +0000

Reading books is a huge part of my summer! I read during the year but it's more a "must" reading then pleasure reading! I look forward to summer days and poolside "empty" hours. All through the year, I just pile up books for summer. It looks like I hoard books and don't read them BUT I do! All summer long...

I love all different types of books and usually I will have 2 to 3 books going at a time. When, someone recommends a book--I usually buy it (I get lots of gift cards to Amazon for Birthdays and Christmas) and just "pile" up for the summer!

Guess What? I have TWO MORE days and I am on summer break (well, kinda of--we have testing next week)! I will get to soon dive into these pile of books!

Some here is my SUMMER list:
**Please note that I am reading these books and I have NOT read them so it could be good or bad!

"Age of Opportunity" by Paul Tripp- a biblical guide to parenting teens~ This is my parent book for the summer:)!

"The Last Bride" by Beverly Lewis~ not much into these stories but it was recommended to me so I am going to read it!

"The End of Dieting" by Joel Fuhrman~ gotta read one diet book to keep it even! This book seems to be packed with lots of recipes

"Longbourn" by Jo Baker~I have heard if I like Downton Abbey I will like this!

"Lady Almina and The Real Downton Abbey"~another Downton Abbey like book

"My Beloved and My Friend" by Hal and Melanie Young~it's a book on marriage

"The Question" by Leigh A. Bortins ~ Classical Conversations new book about the dialetic stage of learning

"The Busy Homeschool Mom's Guide to Romance"~ by Heidi St. John--I saw her at the convention and I loved her
"The Third Son" by Julie Wu
"The Vacationers" by Emma Straub
"The Girls of August" by Anne Siddons

"Growing up Duggar" by the Duggar girls~ they intrigue me and I appreciate their family

I also have a ton of books sitting on my kindle to read! Yeah...I can't wait!! I am sure before the summer ends--I will add to this list. Now, I just need to get my kids as excited about reading as I am! I didn't love reading till I was about 15 years old when my grandma handed me an old classic "Rebecca" by Daphne Du Maurier....it's a book weaved in secrets and mystery. This book bloomed a "love" for books inside me and I fell in love...

What are you reading this summer?

It was "Church"!

noreply@blogger.com (Shell in your Pocket) — Sun, 04 May 2014 04:11:00 +0000

Church.
Since I have been a young child, I have always gone to church. I went to church in college...after college...married...children. Church has always been an important part of my life. It's a place of "growing", "fellowship", "acceptance", "forgiveness" and it's fellow believers who walk along side you in this world.

That's always been my perspective and if it showed itself differently--I always chose not to "see" it because it was "church".

But, the reality is that "church" is a group of sinners (including me!) that brings about indifferences, unkindness, judgement and betrayal. In just the past few months, I have had a number of friends who have had such deep struggles with their church in different ways from members to the pulpit to splits to pastors leaving.

Even though I put on my "rose colored" glasses...let's face it that church can be unkind, it can judge and pastors can let us down. We let each other down.

We, too, the past few months have been on search for a new church...a place of fellowship...finding a place that we want to be part of and a place that wants us. Sometimes, after walking away from a church and saying "If that is what church is, I don't want any part of it". It's hard to not let that distortion have it's "last word". That's what you hang on to...you let it have the last word!

But, just as I encourage some of my dear friends...I am really just saying the advice to myself...
as Christians we should be in church! There is no perfect church and none even come close to it!

Hebrews 10: 24,25 says..

"And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching. "

I think when you take off the rose colored glasses...it can hurt and it's not rosy anymore! And sometimes it's not "hurt" but just plain exhaustion because it feels like everyone is fake. The Christian walk is hard and I think women especially are notorious for giving off "air" that everything is great. We all want to be the perfect family, perfect kids, perfect doctrine, just perfect...but we are not.

And when church is not perfect which it's not and never will be...those imperfections and wounds can be our "last word"...or only "picture" of what Christian fellowship is...what "shepherding a flock is"... so that is what we hang on to.

I write this for some dear "friends"....I write this for "myself".

It says in John 13...

"You call me Teacher and Lord, and you are right, for so I am. If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another's feet. For I have given you an example, that you also should do just as I have done to you. Truly, truly, I say to you, a servant is not greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. If you know these things, blessed are you if you do them."

This is what we are called to do...wash each other's feet, to meet together, to pray, to break bread with one another, to speak and encourage each other in our growth for the scriptures and resting on His perfect and wonderful love for us....

I guess my point to all this is don't let the "distortion" have it's last word...continue to search and seek a group of believers that will walk alongside you in this Christian walk. That is my prayer for you...that is my prayer for me.

My Morning Smoothie...

noreply@blogger.com (Shell in your Pocket) — Sat, 03 May 2014 12:41:00 +0000

A while back, we made the investment in one of the fancy-snazzy juicer/blender machines. I was a little nervous b/c I am notorious for buying a "gadget" that I think I need but never use! However, this one has been different! We have been pretty faithful around here in making fruit smoothies and drinks for breakfast.

I was determined NOT to add any ice cream, milks and very little yogurt to not make our "Healthy" drinks not so healthy. Plus if my kids get a "taste" for something sugary they won't think my "healthy" drink is so good anymore!

Our favorite smoothie drink is:

1/2 cup of blueberries

1/2 cup of strawberries

one banana

one apple

lots of ice

1/2 cup of water

...that's it! Of course, the taste of the smoothie depends on the sweetness of the fruit. But, usually the drink will taste yummy all the time. I made these all winter long and they were good...I am looking forward to SUMMER and buying in season fruit. I am sure the drinks will be even more amazing!

I also add spinach to mine sometimes. My kids won't touch it if it's green. Why do kids hate "GREEN"?? I think the smoothie is almost better with spinach...a tinge of a different taste!

For our family, I have found that this is a great way to get some "good food" into my kids. I haven't been super creative with my drinks but it has worked for us. They are a great start to our day and very easy to make. Cleaning the blender is quick and simple which makes it nice. That's what keeps me coming back for more!

REST...coming away from the homeschool convention!

noreply@blogger.com (Shell in your Pocket) — Wed, 30 Apr 2014 18:27:00 +0000

Rest.

For me that was the *theme* of last weekend at the home school convention....I think every speaker at one point said that word...some of them even used the word to title their presentation.

Rest.

Honestly, as I sit in front of this computer and I am on the verge of ending school for the year and all the co-ops we participated in...it's the perfect word for me. There is so much "swirling" around this homeschooling momma's brain that just saying that word slows down my pulse a bit.

Of course, the speakers were not talking about resting and summer vacation. They were talking about *rest* right dab in the middle of homeschooling...like in October and February! Resting in the Lord...as one speaker said "Drinking from the fountain of fresh water everyday"...going to God's Word for my strength and direction in my home school day.

Usually coming away from a convention, I am totally pumped about curriculum, schedules, new books and new methods and ideas to try on my kids. As one friend said it, she becomes the "Nazi" home school mom after convention b/c she tries to implement everything she learned the next week.
I don't know if I am completely just worn out from an extremely busy year of teaching my kids and lots of other kids at co-ops OR my perspective is changing slowly.

Because "Resting" sounds good to me and I am learning through my thick head of mine that there is no curriculum, no method, no book that will make my homeschooling something of "success" but God's Word. Goodness, I fail everyday...every hour...every minute...I can't do any of this on my own and walking away from the convention reminded me of that. How I get so "sucked" up into worrying and fretting about Algebra, future ACT scores, college entrance even cursive handwriting..it's crazy!

But, when I finally sit down and *REST* in God's Word and His provisions for me...I am reminded that none of that is important...NONE! Yes, my kids need an education...they have their own dreams and talents but whatever they become or do...I want them to first *REST*in the Lord and out of their heart will flow rivers of living water. One speaker in particular said this over and over again...I sat in that chair and tears were just rolling down my cheek.

"He that believeth on me, as the scripture hath said, out of his belly shall flow rivers of living water."John 7:38

The only way rivers of living water will flow out of me is by going to God's Word and spending time with Him(Instead of worrying about curriculum, dinner, clean house and calendars)!The reality is that my kids will go off and become what they are suppose to become...in spite of my failures, weaknesses and lack thereof. Algebra problems will one day be a thing of the past and the literature essay that I fretted over for hours with my son will soon be forgotten....but how they live every day with their Savior is forever. FOREVER.

I always find "hope" in the fact that many of the people in the Bible screwed up in many ways...for example, David had a multitude of sins and definitely wouldn't of won the "Family Man of the Year Award" but yet it is written that he was a man after God's own heart.

"And when he had removed him, he raised up unto them David to be their king; to whom also he gave testimony, and said, I have found David the son of Jesse, a man after mine own heart, which shall fulfil all my will." Acts 13:22

There is hope for me...a home school mom who screws up all the time and fails to forget that she cannot do this on her own. I need to diligently open my Bible everyday and "drink" from it as my source of strength.

The fact is I didn't find any amazing curriculum this year but just a BIG reminder to...

REST.

Urbanspoon restaurant, mimosas and streamers

noreply@blogger.com (Shell in your Pocket) — Tue, 08 Apr 2014 01:54:00 +0000

April 5th came and went...I turned 42! I woke up thinking that I wish I could "stop" this day. But, reality is that birthdays ALWAYS come and time can't be kept in a bottle....it keeps ticking no matter what. After a few minutes, sitting there in my bed realizing that I can't "stop" this day I was greeted by excited kids and family so I faced this *new* year.

My family had completely decorated the downstairs with streamers and balloons...they even did the garage!!!! I have been trying to be careful with "eating" and "exercising" and I told my family "no cake" this year! So they laid out a little low calorie brownie with a candle and a SUPER funny spoon!

Mr. Sandy Toes and I snuck off downtown to a very popular "urbanspoon". I had a veggie crepe and a delicious mimosa. I have never been much of a "drinker" but I do love those girly wine drinks at brunch. It was so fun.

My husband had the *belgium waffles* that they are known for with a side of fried crispy chicken (that too is their most popular entree).

After lunch, we walked around the farmers market that is indoors and outdoors downtown. You see EVERYTHING and there are so many "smells"! I like it..it's different and totally opposite of my *daily* life.

We also found a "tea" store called Churchhills that sells loose tea. I bought a few types...my favorite is the Creme Brulee tea--it's so good!

That night, we celebrated at Deweys pizza with my kids! My kids have always been so excited about my birthday and they make it so special.

Of course, Mr. Sandy Toes helps too. I was fairly "boring" with my birthday gifts that I wanted like Amazon kindle card, Shark steamer and reading glasses--but he surprised me with something beautiful in a little box. :)

It was a great birthday and I have been so blessed in so many ways!

It's Home school Convention Time!

noreply@blogger.com (Shell in your Pocket) — Sun, 30 Mar 2014 20:10:00 +0000

Convention.

Say the word in a group of home school moms and you will get a variety of responses from complete despair, denial to pure excitement. It's usually three days of browsing and buying curriculum in a huge hall the size of a football field. Each booth brings new ideas, activities and a "better" way to teach this or that than the booth next to it. For me...I love it! I love curriculum...yes, you read it right. I love to read about curriculum, I love to learn about curriculum...I love to listen about curriculum.

So for me...it's three days of true pleasure plus listening to tons of speakers talking about every subject that I love to talk about. But, some people don't feel the same way and I can completely understand why...they think homeschooling conventions can be overwhelming and tempting...it is!

I remember being in that first year of homeschooling and going to my first convention. At that point, I didn't realize that homeschooling is like getting into a boat and rowing against the current. That is the best way I can explain it now! Homeschooling defies the "norm"...it goes against the "current" of your neighbor, your kid's friend on the baseball team, your friends at church even your own extended family. But something magical happens when you walk into the home school convention...you feel like the entire world does what you do just for three days. It motivates you...it excites you...you plan and you dream. It's like a "pep" rally for home school parents.

After three days of complete immersion, you almost believe that all those speakers and curriculum booth attenders are coming home with you! It's like one big "teacher" lounge! But weeks after the convention or maybe that first week in September, you realize that those speakers are not sitting in some imaginary teacher lounge in your house and you are not rubbing shoulders with fellow homeschool moms in the hallway. It's just YOU and your kids. This is when you realize that you are sitting in that boat and you are "rowing". It's the same "YOU" that was there yesterday with all your shortcomings, quick temper and frustrations. It's your kids...the same "struggles" they had at school are the same "struggles" they have at home. Everything you heard at the convention sounds like a distant "whisper" and you have a hard time teaching those character lessons from the packet you bought at the convention because you can't seem to "model" any godly character at the moment.

I think when I walk through those doors at the homeschooling convention that I need to keep things in perspective. First, there is not a perfect curriculum and there never will be! What works for one family...may not work for another family. Second, the speakers are usually wonderful and inspiring but we are seeing them at their absolute best! Sometimes we put these "people" on a pedestal...but they have their own challenges, their own messes behind their "closed" doors..their own sin.

My perspective should be on God's Word and the truths of the Bible. Everything we hear and learn at the convention can help us along the journey of home schooling but we shouldn't rely on any curriculum or any teachings of a speaker. Our reliance and our hope even in home schooling is God's Word. It is the only truth in this fallen world we live in. There is absolutely no hope in anything else.

"Every word of God is pure;He is a shield for those who take refuge in Him." (Proverbs 30:5)

So I try to not get myself all in a tizzy in the "hall" of the convention searching for that perfect math curriculum that guarantees a perfect score on the ACT. Reminding myself that math, reading and Spanish are secondary to teaching my kids God's Word daily. I have the perfect curriculum sitting on my coffee table...

"The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of Holy One is understanding." (Proverbs 9:10)

I need to remind myself before I walk through those doors at the convention that no matter what I buy or use or listen to...my God is faithful to bring to me everything I need during this home school journey.

Creation Museum..we go!

noreply@blogger.com (Shell in your Pocket) — Wed, 12 Mar 2014 17:13:00 +0000

We packed up yesterday and headed to the Creation Museum for a very special tour organized by my son's Biology teacher (and friend!). Our tour was with Dr. Menton who holds a PhD in Biolody cell from Brown University and professor of medicine. He was very interesting and I loved his viewpoint--a Christian can be a Scientist..scriptural truth goes right along with the scientific principles.

It was a beautiful day and the temperature was so warm that we ate outside(today--it's snowing!). It almost felt like Spring. The kids discovered the outdoor area and the petting zoo after our tour. My son loved the Zorse (a horse and a zebra combo). I think just being "outside" made a world of difference for all of us.

Today, we are bundled up and staying warm inside as the wind is howling outside. It's hard to believe that I ate my lunch outside yesterday--we have the CRAZIEST weather here!

Cute little necklace...

noreply@blogger.com (Shell in your Pocket) — Sun, 09 Mar 2014 15:12:00 +0000

A friend of mine sent me a message on Facebook with a picture...telling me to check something out. It was a cute necklace with my "quote" from my little ole' blog...."May you always have a shell in your pocket and sand between your toes".

It was so cute and the lady who makes the necklaces was a friend of hers. Of course, I instantly fell in love! She has some really cute jewerly on her etsy shop... Juliethefish Designs.

My mom is counting down the days till she gets her feet in the hot sand and I found a cute necklace for her too!

Art museum trip!

noreply@blogger.com (Shell in your Pocket) — Thu, 06 Mar 2014 21:54:00 +0000

We are on a "partial" Spring Break! "Partial", you ask??? Yes, that is what happens when you homeschool and mom wants to keep "chugging" along so we finish in May. Our co-op(one of them!) is on break and my kids would claim complete "MUTINY" if I didn't give in a little. We have some fun things planned but also "schooling", too!

We went to the Art Museum downtown and had a private docent take us on a tour of 18th century art. We have been diving into the different events of 18th century through our Tapestry of Grace curriculum. I have learned so much right along side my kiddos~

The docent was so knowledgeable and I REALLY enjoyed it....I am not sure how the kids felt overall. There were parts that were very interesting to them and after a while they were tired of trying to find the "triangle" in the picture...lol! I love how the docent "pulled" so much out of one picture...what the artist was feeling, desiring and trying to communicate. I giggled to myself b/c maybe the artist was thinking any of that and was just having a bad day and painted trees that slant and ran out of green paint so he used gray. Who knows but the docent had an answer for everything--I found it amusing.

I was amazed by some of the pieces that the museum had...it was quite interesting! It surprises me how some of the painters became so popular with their paintings...some are so simple and almost ugly. But, we looked attentively as we looked at each piece.

Arm Knitting

noreply@blogger.com (Shell in your Pocket) — Wed, 05 Mar 2014 05:00:00 +0000

Arm knitting has become very popular in our area! My oldest daughter went to our friend's house to learn how to arm knit and seemed to pick it up right away. This week, my girl's "Beautiful Girlhood" class from our co-op got together to learn how to arm knit. I was COMPLETELY no help! I watched and tried to understand but I just didn't get it. Give me a paint brush, wood, modpodge but nothing that involves thread or yarn please!

However, the girls picked it up quite quickly and the mom who taught the group was SOOOO patient(even when they made a mistake!). I think I would of just got out my scissors and cut it and encouraged them to tie a knot.

When my younger daughter got home that afternoon, she knitted so more. That is totally typical of my two girls...the older one usually picks it up very quickly and does it and that's IT! My younger one seems to pick it up slower and even gets frustrated BUT then she tries again later and makes 10 of them!

I think if you are related to us in anyway...this is a preview of "Christmas" 2014!