Sheryl Aronson

Walk in the Sun

noreply@blogger.com (Sheryl Aronson) — Wed, 01 Feb 2012 23:49:00 +0000

Yesterday was a gift for those of us in Northeast Ohio. We had sunshine, and near 60 degrees F. We have actually had several such days this year, an unusual number for winter in this part of the world. I took a 40 minute walk outside, and came home with a smile on my face, and energy to spare. What a great combination- walking and sunshine. Our bodies need both.
Sunshine promotes the production of vitamin D, which is sometimes referred to as a hormone, because of all the positive influences it has in our bodies. Besides that, people tend to smile more on sunny days, and I sure noticed yesterday that people were friendlier and more social wherever I went. I love the feel of the sun on my skin on days like this. (Not so much in the middle of summer.)
There have been hordes of research lately on how good walking is for the body. It gives your heart, lungs, muscles, bones and most other parts of you a workout, and helps to improve your ability to function. It also feels good to move and to stretch. Recent research has shown that exercise is good for people with Fibromyalgia. It may hurt to move initially, but over time, exercise decreases pain and increases energy. The key is to start near but not at your limit of what you can do comfortably, and to increase very slowly, perhaps adding on a little bit more each week of whatever you do to exercise.
I have become more active over the past year, doing water walking, Pilates, and on nice days, walking or hiking outside. I have more energy than I have had in years, and fatigue hits me less often. My pain has improved some, but not as noticeably. I seem to get grumpy less often, too.
Sunshine and a walk is a combination I highly recommend. Don't overdo either one, though. There is such a thing as too much of a good thing.

Journaling and Art Journaling

noreply@blogger.com (Sheryl Aronson) — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 18:18:00 +0000

I have written several times about journaling and its benefits. I came across a brief item in Parade magazine recently that confirms these benefits. According to a study at the University of Kent, England, subjects who vented to a friend when upset often ended up feeling worse afterward. Their suggestion: journal first, then talk to a friend about finding the humor or silver lining in the situation. The researchers found that this two step strategy was the most effective way for reducing stress. You can get your frustration and negative feelings out without worrying about being judged, while still benefiting from the support of a friend.
Your journaling can combine the 'he said/she said' with how you felt. While journaling, emotions have a chance to calm. Distance and time can bring a new perspective to the situation. This is often enough to diffuse any anger or negativity, and you won't feel the need to consult with a friend. The choice is yours.
Another option for journaling, either after or instead of the above format, is using art. I use this especially when I am feeling confused or uncertain how I feel. Take a piece of paper (I like using something bigger than standard computer or copy paper), and crayons. The larger paper gives you room to be expressive without feeling constrained. Crayons are good because people tend to be less inhibited with a medium usually associated with childhood.
Without planning, pick up whatever color crayon calls to you, and start to draw. Let your drawing develop naturally, without too much thought. My usual art style is very precise, but when I do this kind of drawing, it is often more scribbly. When I am done drawing, I sit back and look at the drawing to see what it has to tell me. As I am drawing, my mind tends to find connections and associations to my life: this scribble over here is me, and this line is the wall that I put up... etc. On the back of the page, or on a separate paper that I attach to this one, I write out my these observations,thoughts and feelings. I always date these drawings, and often include a sentence or two giving the context, if this is not clear in what I have written. I have a portfolio of these drawings, and I find it interesting to look at them from time to time, and look back at those periods of my life from my present vantage point. Issues that seem huge at the time often turn out to be minor blips. I am much calmer and less reactive than I used to be. Maturity, like time and distance, gives a new perspective.

Self Esteem

noreply@blogger.com (Sheryl Aronson) — Tue, 24 Jan 2012 18:56:00 +0000

Self esteem may play a big part in motivation. If you feel good about yourself as a person, you are more likely to make choices that support your well-being. You are more likely to be willing to put in effort to take care of yourself. If you don't feel good about yourself, you are more likely to have thoughts such as 'It doesn't matter, anyway, why bother,' and 'I'm not worth fussing over.' Thoughts like these decrease self esteem even more, and make it less likely you will make the effort to take care of your needs.

Chronic pain/illness effects self esteem

Loss of job leads to loss of identity and inability to support self

Uncertain future

Decreased ability to participate in family/friends/community activities

Loss of ability to do previous activities

Feeling worthless, depressed.

Others not believing us leads to self questioning and self doubt, defensiveness, loss of support

Feeling guilty for needing help, or not being able to do previous tasks/responsibilities

Other factors that influence self esteem

Negative messages from parents and others

Failure or difficulty at any life-stage

Negative messages that others give us become our own messages to ourselves

Being overly critical of ourselves, expecting more of ourselves than we can deliver, proving we were right to be critical. This sets up a downward spiral.

Enhancing self esteem

'Catch yourself in the act' of being negative, and change to a more positive message.

Have compassion for yourself. You are a worthwhile person, capable of loving and worthy of being loved.

Make a list of all your strengths and of everything that you have accomplished in your life so far. Use this for positive self-talk.

Don't compare yourself to other people, or to yourself when you were well.

Make the best use of your knowledge, skills, and current abilities.

Don't limit yourself. Look for new ways to take more control in your life, starting with your self-care. Are you doing everything possible to take care of yourself physically? Managing your diet? Getting enough rest? Focus on what you can do, not on what you can't do.

Surround yourself with people who care about you and support you. If there are loved ones who don't understand your illness, explain it to them, get brochures for them, or take them with you to a doctor visit.

Accept that some people may never understand. Refuse to buy into the negative judgments of others. Tell people who constantly criticize you that this is unacceptable, and/or limit your time with them.

Practice not responding when others push your buttons.

Talk to a mental health professional to help you to sort out how you are feeling about yourself, and help you to work on building up a more positive outlook on yourself and the world around you.

Your illness is what you have, not who you are. Your illness is not your fault, so it doesn't make sense to feel guilty about it and how it affects you.

Take classes, volunteer, find online opportunities, read, find meaningful hobbies and outlets, go out into nature, make peace with your illness, grieve, cherish the little moments, love, pray, write, draw, create, do what you can do, journal, talk, find others who understand, practice an attitude of gratitude.

We don't have control over having chronic pain or illness, but there are many things we can control, including how we view the pain/illness, and how we interact with it and with other people. Having a sense of control in our lives improves self esteem. Accepting life as it is and working from there also has a big impact on self esteem. You are a person, not an illness. Don't let your illness take away your personhood.

Pain Does Not Equal Harm

noreply@blogger.com (Sheryl Aronson) — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 19:19:00 +0000

Our perception of what pain is greatly affects our experience of pain. The way pain is meant to function in our bodies is as a warning sign that there is danger, and we need to take action. It is very beneficial if you have a stone in your shoe. Pain tells you to get it out before you walk farther. Without pain, you might leave it there, not realizing there was a problem until you took your shoe off later and found a hole in your foot. That is why people with decreased sensation from peripheral neuropathy and people born without this pain mechanism need to be very vigilant about monitoring their bodies.
Chronic pain is a malfunction of the system, and has no functional purpose. It would be nice if we could say, "Pain go away, I don't need you", and it would. (That is for a future post.) Since it isn't that easy, we need to find other ways to cope with the pain. One that I am working on is changing my perception of pain.
Pain does not equal harm. In other words, I have pain, but that does not mean that there is any damage occurring. I recently had surgery on my hand for trigger thumb. I kept the big bandage wrapped around my hand for the first three days to remind myself to be careful, and to prevent damage to the newly cut tissues. Now I have a waterproof band-aid on it, I use my hand, but continue to be careful how I use it. Several times a day I get pain, from the bruising and the still healing incision. I remind myself that this pain does not mean that any damage is occurring, and this makes the pain easier to ignore.
Please don't get me wrong. The pain is real, and sometimes it takes awhile for it to calm down. Sometimes I have other pain that does not calm down for hours or days, and I know there are many of you out there with pain that never calms down. I am not minimizing the pain, or saying if you ignore it, it will go away (I wish!)
Think about it this way. Your dog barks to go outside. You know if you don't let him out, you will have to clean up the mess he makes on the floor. He also barks when someone walks by the house, if kids are playing nearby, if it sees a cat, etc. You don't jump up every time he barks, you learn to differentiate which barks you need to respond to, and which you can ignore.
Now transfer that thinking to the pain. You sense the pain, and ask yourself, "Is this pain telling me something important that I need to respond to, or is it just barking its head off for no known reason, as chronic pain tends to do?" If it is just barking its head off, responding isn't going to make it better, but it will keep you focused on the pain. I can't speak for you, but I would rather focus on other things.
Give it a try. If your pain is just barking its head off for no known reason, and there is no need to respond to it, don't. Notice it, but don't focus on it. Focus your mind elsewhere. Try to tune the pain out, like you would a barking dog. Let me know how it works for you. Give it a few tries if it doesn't work the first time A change in how you perceive your pain takes some practice.

Not a Hand to Stand On

noreply@blogger.com (Sheryl Aronson) — Wed, 11 Jan 2012 18:10:00 +0000

Usually, when we have an injury, we look for ways to adapt our actions in order to continue to take care of business. If the injury is one arm, we have another arm that can usually be substituted, though often more clumsily. I am in a situation where both arms/hands have problems. My right arm (my dominant one) has had a recent recurrence of a pain that surrounds my shoulder blade on that side when I use that hand unsupported away from my body.

The instinct would be to decrease use of that arm, and to use it cautiously. This would require increased use of my left hand, and therein lies the problem. I have developed trigger thumb in my left hand, for which I will be having surgery on January 12. The tendon at the base of my thumb has a knot in it, which causes my thumb to snap whenever I try to bend or straighten it. It is painful, especially if my hand has been resting. Opening jars and grasping large items is out of the question.

So what to do? I have been planning ahead, doing ahead of time some tasks that I know are coming up that require 2 hands. I have also been looking at simple adaptations that make two handed tasks possible for a one handed person. Items such as shampoo, soap and hand lotion in pump bottles are an example. Pull on clothing, without buttons or zippers are easier to get on and off, such as sweats and t-shirts. Looser clothing is also easier. There are slip-on shoes, or shoe laces that are elastic. My favorite kind are coiled. You lace them into your shoes instead of regular laces, and they make your shoes into slip-ons that don't require tying.

This topic is complex, and too big for one blog post. Here are two good references with more info on how to do things one handed: Wiley Library; Stroke.org.au.

So back to the issue of how to do things when both sides have problems. This takes some individual assessment and problem solving. I have issues with my left hand and my right upper back. As long as I don't have to grip anything in my left hand, I can use my left arm to hold or carry things. I can use my right hand, as long as I don't have to do anything sustained with my arm unsupported. Most tasks can be done with some combination of these limitations. For tasks that can't be done, there are always the assertive skills of asking for help or delegating. Some tasks can be postponed or just skipped. My three questions for determining this are: 1. Does it have to be done? 2. Does it have to be done by me? 3. Does it have to be done now?

Most activities can be resolved using the ideas above. I am still working on how I will wash my hair without getting my left hand wet or keeping my right hand raised above my head.

Grow Safely

noreply@blogger.com (Sheryl Aronson) — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 00:47:00 +0000

I have been reading a book that contains a lot of wisdom: My Grandfather's Blessings, by Rachel Naomi Remen, MD. I mentioned this author in a blog about a month ago, and at that time I ordered several of her books. This is the first I have read. The subtitle of the book is Stories of Strength, Refuge and Belonging. Dr. Remen counsels people with cancer. Some of the stories are about patients' experiences, some are from teaching med students, and some are her own experiences, as a child with her grandfather (an Orthodox Jewish Rabbi), or coping with her own illness. (Yes, folks- she's one of us [people living with chronic illness]- she gets it.) The chapters are short, easy to read one, a few or many at a time. Each one weaves together a variety of elements to round out a point. I am thoroughly enjoying it, and have been marking some segments to use in blog posts.

I just read a chapter about a dream she had about a daffodil bulb planted in the ground, with a big rock directly above it. The rock is protecting the daffodil from growing in this, dangerous world. The daffodil says it needs to bloom, that is its reason for existence. Dr. Remen went to an acupuncturist for a pain in her back. During the treatment, the image of the daffodil and the rock came to mind, and she watched as the rock transformed into a greenhouse, and thus protected, the daffodil bloomed extraordinarily, made of light. Instead of protecting the daffodil from blooming, it was now protected so it could bloom. Dr. Remen relates this story to a big decision she needed to make, and from it she found the courage to move forward with her decision.

I found another meaning that is smaller but closer to home for many of us. Being chronically ill and/or in pain, we place a rock over ourselves that keeps us from exposure to further pain or illness. It can be hard to determine how much we can safely do before we start to exacerbate our symptoms. We are instructed to stop before that point, but if we don't know where that point is, we may err on the side of caution, and stop too soon. In doing so, we may prevent ourselves from living our lives.

How can we transform our self-imposed life-hindering rocks into life-enhancing greenhouses? That is up to each of us to determine. Experiment with your limits. Allow yourself to step out of your comfort zone (literally) and live life. I'm not suggesting you ride the upside down roller coaster, but how about the carousel? You don't need to aim for a marathon, but try to increase (slowly, if need be) what you allow yourself to do.Take some chances. This is the only life you get (or so I believe). Live it. Many people with chronic pain and illness are depressed and disappointed by life. Life isn't fair (that's true). But what restrictions are truly imposed by your illness and pain, and what restrictions are imposed by fear? I wrote a post awhile back saying that sometimes it is worth it to go beyond your safe limits, knowing you may (will?) pay for it later.

In her next chapter, Dr. Remen discusses suffering. I will end this post with this thought: “In the depths of every wound we have survived is the strength we need to live. The wisdom our wounds can offer us is a place of refuge. Finding this is not for the faint of heart. But then, neither is life.”

Communist Thinking in a Capitalist World

noreply@blogger.com (Sheryl Aronson) — Tue, 27 Dec 2011 01:01:00 +0000

“From each according to their ability, to each according to their need.”

People who are chronically ill, in pain or disabled often have feelings of uselessness, that they aren't full human beings or contributing members of society because they aren't able to do what they think is expected of them. For men, it is most often an inability to provide for their family that leads to this thinking. For women, it is more often an inability to nurture their family and care for the household that triggers it. These are very stereotypical role expectations, but even in our 'enlightened' society, this holds true for most people.

In a capitalist society, earning money is the prime objective. Until World War II, this meant men, women were expected to play a supporting role in this objective, by caring for the household and family. During World War II, so many men were at war, women were called upon to provide for their families, support the war effort from home, along with their usual roles. Many women discovered they liked working, they liked the challenge, the satisfaction of a job well done, the independence of earning their own money and the social contacts they made on the job. Men often took on some of the household duties to balance out the tasks, but women were generally still the person running the house. Hence, the roles that people feel most guilty about when not able to perform.

In a pure communist society, people are expected to work according to their ability, and they are given compensation according to their need. This sounds great, but human nature being what it is, some people looked for ways to give less than they were capable of, and/or to take more than they needed. Communism never quite works out the way it should.

So, back to my reason for writing about this topic. What if we could instill in our society's thought pattern the acceptance of the validity of this basic communist idea? I am not trying to restructure our whole society, just to change this one thought. Wouldn't it be nice if everyone recognized that people have different capacities and different needs, and that is okay? A person would be respected for who they are, not how much they produce or how much they contribute. It would be accepted that not everyone can work full time, go grocery shopping, vacuum or lift a child. It would be okay that some people need more sleep, more medical resources, or more help to do basic tasks. It could still be a capitalist world in which there was incentive to strive for excellence, for newer and better ways of doing things, but with a communist recognition that not everyone can do that. Those people are not any less valuable to the society as a whole, or to their families.

How does this play out in the real world? How can we apply this thinking to make this a better world for everyone? What can we change so that people with illness, pain and/or disability won't feel less than others, and/or less than themselves? These are questions worth pondering.

We, as individuals, don't have the power to change the thinking of society as a whole. We do have the power to change our own thinking, and to influence the thinking of those around us. We can stop thinking of ourselves as less than, as damaged goods, as inadequate. We can stop apologizing for not being able to do what we used to do, or what we think we are 'supposed' to be able to do. We can start empowering ourselves to ask for the help we need, and to accept it graciously when offered. We can start taking pride in ourselves as we are, for what we can do, and what we can offer to our families and our communities.

I could go on and on, but you get the idea. Be yourself. Be proud of yourself.

TED

noreply@blogger.com (Sheryl Aronson) — Tue, 20 Dec 2011 02:13:00 +0000

I first learned of TED a few months ago when my brother sent me a link to a TED talk about pain. More recently, I started exploring the TED website, and I AM HOOKED! Here is a brief synopsis of TED. Perhaps you will get hooked as well. TED is by far one of the best ways I have found to keep my mind distracted and off of my pain and other issues.

So, you ask, what is TED already? TED stands for Technology, Entertainment, Design. It is a non-profit organization, whose byline is Ideas Worth Spreading. It started in 1984 as a conference, where it brought together people from all walks of life, each of whom had innovative ideas to share. To quote their website, the 2 annual TED conferences " bring together the world's most fascinating thinkers and doers, who are challenged to give the talk of their lives (in 18 minutes or less)." Additional topics include science, arts, entertainment and business. You can search for talks of interest to you in a specific topic, or watch whatever interests you of the talks that appear on the screen. You can resize the talks that appear by most recent, most emailed, most viewed, most commented on, or by a number of tags such as most fascinating, jaw-dropping, beautiful, inspiring, humorous, and the list goes on. I am learning interesting info on topics I am familiar with, as well as topics I never even thought about before.

Many of these talks are available free at the TED website, with more added each week. Another quote from the website: "We believe passionately in the power of ideas to change attitudes, lives and ultimately, the world." One of the many things TED does is award a TEDprize annually. This prize goes to a person with a big idea to change the world for the better. This person is given $100,000 to do just that. Looking through all the amazing things on the TED website, I feel like there is hope for the future of the world.

To give you a taste, here are a few of my favorite videos I have found. Check out the site yourself. I think you will be as blown away as I was (am).

Pilobulos_Symbiosis (dance) Evolution Photos IPod Magic

This is just a small sample of TED. When I started writing this blog post, I explored the website and found more and more areas I had not noticed before. As I said above, I get so involved with what I am finding that my pain and other issues disappear from my mind. TED is a great way to distract yourself from your illness, to learn, to be inspired, to be fascinated.

Keeping Warm

noreply@blogger.com (Sheryl Aronson) — Mon, 12 Dec 2011 18:37:00 +0000

Keeping warm is very much on my mind these days. We are having our roof rebuilt, which was supposed to be done last spring. In order to do this, the construction workers needed to take the heating/air conditioning unit off the roof for what may turn out to be two weeks. This week the local temperatures decided to drop to their normal level of 40's and 30's, and down into the 20's at night. (For those of you not in the US, that's Fahrenheit, down to freezing and below.)
We have 2 space heaters, one in the bedroom and one in the living room. The inside temp is around 63 right now, which is colder than I like. I am wearing a wool sweater, and have a double-thick fleece blanket over my legs, and a cat on top of that. My topic today is on how to keep warm when your surroundings aren't.
The first area I mentioned above is clothing. The best way to dress is in layers, so you can take off and add on as needed. I wrote quite a bit about warm clothing last year. The next area I mentioned is my fleece blankie. I also wrote about these blankets last year, telling how to make them. There are other options for blankets besides fleece, though none so soft and comforting (in my opinion). I will just mention a few, since there are so many. Electric blankets are nice because they are not too heavy, and can be adjusted depending on how much warmth you want. Another nice option related to this is an electric mattress pad. We have these at our cabin. They are great for when we get there later in the day, and the place doesn't get warmed up sufficiently by bedtime. Wool blankets are warm, but some are heavy or scratchy. Thermal blankets have air spaces woven into them, you put them between 2 sheets, your body heat rises up and gets trapped in the blanket to keep you warm. Quilts of various thicknesses are another option. If they are filled with feathers or down they are very warm but lightweight. There are quilts filled with fake down, some are good, some tend to mat over time. Flannel sheets are also nice, because they don't feel as cold on your skin. When I was having a problem with night sweats, my doctor recommended flannel sheets as being more absorbent, and they don't feel as cold on the skin when wet. (Sounds awful when I think about it now- I sure am glad I seem to be past that era).
I also mentioned one of my favorite sources of heat, my cat. Sharing space with another warm blooded animal, human or otherwise, is a great way to keep warm. A good example of this is penguins. They often congregate in large clusters, standing very close together to stay warm. They take turns standing on the outer perimeter of the group, so no one has to be cold too long. I'd rather snuggle with my one cat than a whole flock of penguins.
A hot cup of tea or cocoa or coffee can be soothing in the cold. I can't say that it actually warms me up much, though it does feel good to take in a mouthful of hot (but not too hot) liquid, and holding a hot mug in my hands warms my hands. There are those who say that drinking hot tea is a good way to cool down in the summer, because it makes your sweat. I can't say that I get a consistent heating or cooling effect from hot drinks. Eating a bowl of soup or chili does seem to help me warm up, at least while I am eating it, especially if I hold onto the bowl.
Exercise or movement is a good source of heat. If you exercise regularly, it not only heats you up for the time you are doing it, but it increases your metabolism, which keeps you warmer. (Increased metabolism also burns calories faster, so you can eat more without gaining weight.) Movement also decreases muscle stiffness.
Fire may seem like a good source of heat, and sitting by a lit fireplace has a magical effect on how I feel, but most fireplaces actually draw heat out of a room. This is because the fire needs air to burn, and the air is pulled from the room and up the chimney. Wood stoves, on the other hand, do heat a room, by radiating heat from the stove itself, and on some units, there are fans that increase the efficiency. Our cabin is heated primarily by a wood stove.
There are a variety of space heaters, too many to cover in this blog. I do want to mention a few personal space heaters that may be useful. There are heated mittens, socks and slippers, both electric and battery operated. There are also small packets that are self warming hand or foot warmers that heat by a self contained chemical reaction. They contain a device inside that needs to be snapped or broken, and then the contents of the packet shaken or squished together. The different types last anywhere from twenty minutes to ten hours. Some can be reused by putting in hot water to reset the device.
I'm sure there are heat sources I have not mentioned. If you hve a favorite one that you don't see here, let us know by posting a comment.

Art from Pain

noreply@blogger.com (Sheryl Aronson) — Mon, 05 Dec 2011 22:57:00 +0000

Art and pain- a connection close to my heart (actually, my heart is fine- it is other body parts that are involved). I found a website I would like to tell you about. It is the site of the American Headache Society, and a patient-health professional offshoot, the American Headache Society Committee on Headache Education, with the appropriate acronym ACHE. The site has a good variety of info and links related to chronic headaches (something I can, unfortunately, relate to). They have self help tools, forums, education, and, among other resources, an art gallery.
This art gallery has a collection of art created by people with chronic headaches, depicting how they perceive or experience their headache. When someone says "I have a headache", the reaction often is "So, I get headaches, too." Having a chronic headache, especially of the strength of a migraine, is not just a headache. Just like any chronic pain, it can have a big impact on the individual, and pervades all areas of life. It is hard for someone who has not experienced it to perceive what it is like. The artworks, most of which have a head somewhere in the depiction, can tell more than words. Seeing a picture of a head being squeezed in a vise, or with a jagged flash of lightening stabbing the eye says more than "I have a headache". Van Gogh's painting The Scream would fit well in this collection.
There are other sites that have pain related artwork. Two are: Pain Exhibit, which features art by artists with different types of chronic pain, and Pain-Topics.org which has info about chronic pain as well as a gallery of art created by artists about their pain. The Pain Exhibit site gives artist statements, and divides the art into different topics, such as Pain Portraits, and But you Look So Normal. The Pain Topics site gives explanations of the art. Much of the art in the Pain Topics gallery come from the Pain Exhibit, but are presented in a different way. Both these sites are interesting to explore.
Looking at each piece of art tells a story about the person who created it. To tell your own story, get paper, canvas or clay, or any other medium you would like to work with. Sit quietly with your medium at hand. Close your eyes, and focus on your pain. What shape is it? What color(s) does it project? What is it trying to tell you? If an image comes to mind, create it. If not, just start to experiment with your chosen medium. Often, an image will create itself. Don't try to direct your art, just let it happen. Don't concern yourself with trying to make it look pretty, or perfect, or exact.
You don't have to be an artist. In fact, sometimes artists have a more difficult time with this. They are too focused on quality and their reputation as an artist to allow the art to be genuine and natural.
You now have a new way to express yourself. Experiment with it, play with it. Learn from it. Let your pain flow into it, and hopefully, your art will ease your pain.

Share Joy, Not Germs

noreply@blogger.com (Sheryl Aronson) — Wed, 30 Nov 2011 23:41:00 +0000

I am home sick today (Wednesday). I also called off last Friday, when I had a fever, aches, headache and sore throat. Over the weekend, I took it easy, and felt OK to go to work yesterday, despite some coughing. Today I don't feel too bad, but I don't have much voice- I guess I used it up yesterday. As each day wears on, I seem to have longer and longer coughing jags. I think that is more what did in my voice, rather than talking.
Staying home from work sick is a complex concept.   Friday I went out and did a bit of grocery shopping. I kept myself away from any close contact with anyone, and I was not coughing yet, so I don't think I spread many germs. At work, I am in fairly close contact with patients and other staff most of the time, so its not so easy to keep my germs to myself.   I do wash my hands frequently at work. I also follow the current advice to cough or sneeze into the elbow of your sleeve, rather than your hand. This spreads fewer germs than using your hand, but then whatever your sleeve comes in contact with gets a swipe of germs, and we can't wash our sleeves as readily as we wash our hands.
As I may have mentioned in the past, over the past year our department has lost 1 1/2 full time positions, and is now down to 2- just over half what it was. The workload has not been decreased significantly, we are left to use our best judgment what to cancel. I am not one of those full time people. I cover for the others when they are out. One of them is out this week for deer hunting, so I am filling in for him. So when I call off, there is no one to cover for me. That leaves one person doing what used to be done by 3 1/2 people.  Do I go to work, and possibly share my germs with everyone there? Or do I stay home to avoid spreading germs, but put my coworker in the position of having to figure out how best to juggle the day's workload by herself?
I don't want her to burn out and quit, but on the other hand, is it fair for me to go to work, unintentionally sharing my germs with anyone I come in contact with, just to make her life easier?   Today was an easy decision, because I can't do my job without a voice. What about tomorrow? I will still be coughing, but not as much, and I will still be hoarse, but also not as much (I hope). Where do I draw the line? Doctors follow the Hippocratic Oath, which starts out: first, do no harm. I think that is a good rule for anyone to follow. I will make my decision based on how I can do the most amount of good, with the least amount of harm. If I still can't talk, the answer is obvious. If I think I can do my job with a minimal amount of germ sharing, I will go to work. If I am still coughing alot, it would probably do the least harm if I call off again.
This is something to think about, not only in regards to work, but also any other activity where there are other people involved. Shopping, church/synagogue/mosque/whatever, holiday/family gatherings... If you are sick (the germy kind, not the chronic kind), it is not only your own health that is involved, but the health of everyone else. If no one went out when they were sick, then no one would spread germs, and no one would get germs, and no one would be sick in the first place to have to stay home. Since we don't live in that ideal world, we do have to concern ourselves about germs. Make your decision based on what would do the most good with the least harm. Share your joy, not your germs.

Helping, Fixing, Serving

noreply@blogger.com (Sheryl Aronson) — Mon, 28 Nov 2011 22:44:00 +0000

One of the blogs that I follow gave me some food for thought today. The blog, Beyond Meds, is about one woman's journey getting free from psych meds. She often finds interesting tidbits which she shares with her readers. This particular post is a brief excerpt from an article by Rachel Naomi Remen, who is an MD, has lived 45 years with chronic illness, and an author of some very powerful books.
The gist of the article is a comparison of the words helping, fixing and serving.  Here is one paragraph from Dr. Remen's article: Helping, fixing and serving represent three different ways of seeing life. When you help, you see life as weak. When you fix, you see life as broken. When you serve, you see life as whole. Fixing and helping may be the work of the ego, and service the work of the soul.
As an occupational therapist, my work generally falls into the category of fixing. I have even, on occasion, told the nurses I work with that that is the big difference between what they do (helping) and what I do (fixing). Actually, what I do is not directly fixing, but teaching the patients what they can do to fix themselves. (I teach anger management and stress management, among other things).

Wow. I had always thought that I was doing the best thing for my patients by teaching them skills they could use to improve their lives.   Based on what Dr. Remen wrote, I have not been doing right by my patients. In order to teach them better ways, I have to approach them from the premise that they are broken. If they are broken, and I can fix them, that puts me on a higher plane than them, right? It is too easy to fall into that kind of thinking, and I must confess that I may approach my patients with that thought in the back of my mind somewhere.
Dr. Remen reminds me that I am human, and my patients are human, and no human is above any other. Some of us may be smarter or more skilled or more educated or more experienced in different areas, but that does not make any one of us better than another. When I am working with patients, I will take a minute to remind myself of this truth. I will approach them in order to serve them, not to fix them. I will still teach the same skills I have been teaching, but I will change my attitude.
Another paragraph from Dr. Remen's article: Serving makes us aware of our wholeness and its power. The wholeness in us serves the wholeness in others and the wholeness in life. The wholeness in you is the same as the wholeness in me. Service is a relationship between equals: our service strengthens us as well as others. Fixing and helping are draining, and over time we may burn out, but service is renewing. When we serve, our work itself will renew us. In helping we may find a sense of satisfaction; in serving we find a sense of gratitude.
I need to explore this concept more, to chew on it, to turn it over, this way and that, and make it my own. How can I change how I think and work in order to really apply it in my relationships with everyone, not only patients? As I said at the beginning of this post- food for thought.

Coping Creatively

noreply@blogger.com (Sheryl Aronson) — Tue, 22 Nov 2011 14:13:00 +0000

In the description of my blog I state that it is about living with and coping well with chronic illness and pain, using art and other means. I have mostly followed that, but I have seldom written about my art. Off and on throughout my life I have done a variety of creative things, and several times attempted to make a living from my art. Not an easy endeavor, and I have never been successful.

None the less, many people know me as an artist, and ask me how my art is going, what I am currently working on, and other questions like these. Lately I have had a hard time knowing how to answer these questions. For the past year or so, I have done little with my art. So little, in fact, that when I had a commission recently that involved illustrating a poem with colored pencil drawings, I felt nervous from being out of practice. (Once I started working on it, it turned out fine, and they loved it).

So why have I been neglecting my art? I don't think I have. It is true that I have not been doing much drawing, or papercutting, or stained glass or silk painting, all of which are among my most recent media. Neither have I been doing woodworking/carving or silversmithing, past endeavors of mine. I have been doing other creative things, such as writing this blog, and developing the programs for the Chronic Illness/Chronic Pain Support Group I run twice a month.

Most people I know who are creative have a variety of creative outlets. They write stories and illustrate them. They write songs and make pottery. I like learning new things, and trying new media. I may not be creating physical objects lately, but I am creating with words.

My support group has a discussion/education segment and a creative segment in each session. The discussion/education segment allows me to use my occupational therapy training, my research skills, and my writing skills. The creative segment allows me to use my artistic skills. Finding /creating a creative experience that relates to the discussion topic gives me a chance to stretch my analytical and inventive skills.

Writing this blog gives me a chance to use my occupational therapy training, research skills and writing skills. It also gives me the opportunity to connect with and relate to other people all over the world who have chronic pain and illness. Being sick can be very isolating. Even if your pain and illness are such that you can still live a fairly 'normal' life, like I can, there is the isolation of others not understanding. I know that many (most?) of my readers do understand, and they read my blog because they sense that I understand.

I enjoy working with my hands, using various media, and get a sense of accomplishment from my creations. I also have often had the pleasure of seeing others appreciate my art. There is a difference, though, between making someone's world more aesthetically pleasing, and making their lives easier and more comfortable. My art does the former, my writing does the latter. Not only do I benefit from writing, but others benefit from reading what I write. That is something that my other creative endeavors seldom gave me. Writing gives me a creative outlet that gives to others and that gives back to me.

Winter Exercise

noreply@blogger.com (Sheryl Aronson) — Wed, 16 Nov 2011 18:16:00 +0000

Sunday my husband and I went for a hike. Monday I did some work outside. It has been in the 60's, probably the last time we will see such high temps for about five months. Alot of people struggle to get enough exercise when the weather is cold and ugly out. I am lucky in that my town has a natatorium with indoor pools, exercise equipment, classes, etc. that is fairly reasonably priced. If joining a gym is not an option for you, either because of unavailability, lack of funds, or other reason, there are still plenty of ways to get exercise in the winter.

Many people find outdoor sports invigorating- hiking, ice skating, skiing, etc. Not me. I hike outside some in the winter, but my body reacts to the combination of cold and damp (such as sweating)- by developing hives. They do go away soon after I am warm and dry, but can be uncomfortable while I have them.

Most malls open early for walkers. My mom used to meet friends at the mall, walk for 45 minutes, then go out for coffee. Exercise and a social outing combined. Actually, pairing exercise with social opportunity makes it more likely you will follow through.

Some people have a hard time getting out of the house, especially when it is cold, snowy, icy, etc. Sorry- that's no excuse. There are still many ways to exercise at home. There are hundreds, if not thousands of DVDs and videos that guide you through an exercise routine. Try getting some from the library to see if you like the style and level of the routine. Another option related to this is You Tube. Try searching for 'exercise' for a variety, or for a specific type such as 'yoga' to narrow down the list. There are videos of single exercises, as well as whole routines. Try searching the internet for a type of exercise you like. There are many sites that demo exercises you can follow. Just remember that anybody can make a video or website. Just because it is available and has the right title doesn't make it good or even safe. Use your judgment. If something doesn't look compatible to your ability or interest, skip it.

Pun intended there- Skipping is excellent exercise. You can skip up and down a hallway, around a room, with or without a jump rope. You probably will want to make sure there is enough clearance for the jump rope, if you choose that option. You can walk around your home. Set up a course of furniture to go around, in and out of rooms. If you have stairs, going up and down is excellent exercise. You can get an exercise step, or a sturdy, stable step stool to step up and down on.

There are a variety of exercise machines that you can buy, but it is a good idea to do some research before you buy. A type of equipment that one person really likes may cause pain for another person. If you can, try out different equipment at a gym before you buy. Unless you are rich and have a large home, it would be a shame to buy something that doesn't work for you, and end up with an expensive, massive, ugly clothes hanger in the middle of your room.

I have a Wii, and the program Dance, Dance Revolution. It is a fun way to exercise on days I don't want to go out into the elephants (or, as most people call them, the elements). There is also Wii Fit, with a variety of exercise and health related programs. Some other game consoles have exercise related programs as well.

To exercise your arms, you can get small weights or even cans of soup to lift, or Thereband or other stretchy material to pull on. Videos, You Tube, or other online sites can show you what to do with them. You can do wall push ups, or other pushing, pulling, lifting activities. Think about how you use your body, and avoid actions that aggravate your pain.

I believe exercise is important for everyone, no matter your ability or disability. If you have something that limits how much you can exercise, it is still important to stretch and to move your muscles and joints around. This can help to keep you as flexible as possible, to make bathing, dressing, etc. easier, and can even decrease pain.

This list covers a variety of options, but I am sure there are other options that I did not think of. Experience, combined with common sense (and, if needed, input from your doctor and/or physical therapist) will tell you what level and type of exercise is right for you. A general goal for most people is to start where you are, and slowly increase your strength and endurance. It is good to have a variety of things you do, so that you can alternate cardio with strengthening, and vary which muscles you use. It can also be helpful to have choices for different moods or for days you have more or less energy or pain, or just to have enough variety so you don't get bored.

Eat Yogurt, Help Cure Breast Cancer

noreply@blogger.com (Sheryl Aronson) — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 02:01:00 +0000

I like eating yogurt because it tastes good, is refreshing, and is a healthy snack. Yogurt is a good source of calcium and vitamins A & D. It also has live and active probiotic cultures which may help your digestive system. I have recently discovered Greek yogurt, which is thicker, tastes richer, and has twice the protein as the same amount of regular yogurt. Unfortunately, it is also more expensive.
Yogurt comes in a huge variety of flavors, from the more traditional vanilla and fruit flavors, to more exotic (?) cinnamon roll and chocolate mousse. You can choose from low fat or fat free, with sugar or sugar free. You can even get plain yogurt. It can be used in cooking, mix it with fruit or granola, or eat it as is. My cat loves yogurt, and is always happy to wash out the container for me to get it ready for recycling.
Now eating yogurt helps others as well. Yoplait yogurts now have special pink lids, each with a code on them. Yoplait will donate 10 cents to Susan G Koman for the Cure for each lid redeemed by sending in the lids, or submitting the codes online, up to $2 million. The money will be used for breast cancer research and local breast cancer awareness programs. This promotion will last until December 31, 2011.
My mother and my aunt both had breast cancer. I also have several friends who have fought it, or are currently fighting it. According to the Susan G Koman website, over 230,000 American women will be diagnosed with breast cancer in 2011, almost 40,000 women will die from it. Catching it early saves lives. Remember to do monthly self exams, and get mammograms annually starting at age 40. I have been putting mine off, I plan to call tomorrow for an appointment. Are you due for a mammogram?

Anger- Is It Worth It?

noreply@blogger.com (Sheryl Aronson) — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 15:38:00 +0000

I read a variety of publications related to health, one of which is Consumer Reports on Health. In the October issue, there was a brief article on anger by Redford Williams, M.D., who teaches a life-skills program. In the article, Dr. Williams suggests an easy way to tell whether a situation is worth getting angry about. There are four questions to ask yourself, which can be remembered by the phrase "I AM WORTH IT".
1. Is it Important? If the situation is trivial, let it go.
2. Is what I am feeling Appropriate? Would any reasonable person feel the same way?
3. Is it Modifiable? Is there anything I can do to change the situation?
4. Would it be WORTH IT to take action?
If you said 'No' to any of these questions, take a deep breath, let it out, and tell yourself that getting angry isn't helpful. Distract yourself with other thoughts, and just let it go. According to Dr. Williams, people they have taught this method to say they get rid of 1/3 to 1/2 of the things that bother them in every day life. (I suspect they actually get rid of the feelings, not the thing itself).
If you said 'Yes' to any of these questions, then instead of stewing, take action. Be assertive, say 'No', or problem solve how best to respond to the situation.
I am not bothered by many things, so I think I do a process like this automatically. Personally, I think I am a much happier person since I learned to just accept life for what it is, and not let things get to me. For example, I long ago trained myself not to be bothered by other drivers going too slow. I learned to just accept this as a fact of life. My husband still gets annoyed by them, and calls them idiots. I have been unsuccessful in getting him to just let it go. I think I will email him a link to this post.
If you get annoyed easily, try this method. Let me know how it works for you.

noreply@blogger.com (Sheryl Aronson) — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 15:01:00 +0000

My topic for yesterday's Chronic Illness/Chronic Pain Support Group was Motivation, part 2. The previous session, I did Motivation, and the people in attendance were really struggling with even motivating themselves to taking care of basic needs, so I decided to do a continuation of the topic. Yesterday we focused on three things: pros and cons, self esteem, and 'parent'/'child'.

In any decision we consciously make we weigh the pros and cons, even if we don't realize we are doing it. Pros are reasons in favor of whatever it is, cons are reasons against it.

Self esteem may play a big part in motivation. If you feel good about yourself as a person, you are more likely to make choices that support your well-being, and to be willing to put in effort to take care of yourself. If you don't feel good about yourself, you are more likely to have thoughts such as 'It doesn't matter, anyway, why bother,' and 'I'm not worth fussing over', and to not take care of your needs.

We all have within us different aspects of ourselves. One aspect is a childlike part of us that doesn't want to do anything that is hard or painful or not fun. Another aspect is our 'parent', which takes responsibility for getting our needs met, and for taking care of business. Another way to look at it is the child wants what it wants now (immediate gratification), while the parent looks at the big picture, and is willing to delay gratification if that will give a better deal in the long run.

We did an exercise yesterday that illustrated how these can be applied to increase motivation. The topic was 'asking for help', an area with which many people have difficulty. We listed pros and cons of asking for help. Pros included getting it done, its easier, having company, more fun, etc. Cons included feeling indebted, embarrassment, having to accept you need help, etc. The lists came out fairly even, as far as number of items on each list. We talked a little about how some things on the lists may be more important than others, and if we wanted to, we could assign each one a weight, perhaps 1-5, where 1 is not very important, and 5 is very important. You would add up the numbers on each side, and see if the pros or the cons added up to the most.

We then decided the 'parent' would probably say, "If you need the help, ask for it". The child wouldn't actually ask for help, he would just complain that the task is too hard, it isn't fair, etc. Though asking for help may seem like it would lower your self esteem because of feeling needy or dependent, it actually raises your self esteem, because you are being assertive, taking care of yourself, and getting your needs met. I asked the people in the group what they would do next time they needed help. It was unanimous: they would ask for help.

This exercise can be used for any decision, to motivate you to do whatever you need to do. There is sometimes conflict between what we want to do and what we 'should' do. These 'should's may come from others expectations of us, or what they think is best for us. Or they may come from ourselves, what we know or think would be best for us. Why don't we 'just do it'? Too much effort, too much pain, not enough incentive... or just plain old fashioned 'I don't wanna'.

Sometimes we need to call on the 'parent' aspect of ourselves to override the protests of the 'child'. Ask yourself what a good friend who cares about your well-being would advise you to do. That is likely what your 'parent' aspect would advise you as well. Look at the big picture, not just how this decision will affect you immediately, but how it will affect you in the long run. If your 'child' is protesting, you have the choice of going along with the 'child', or with the 'parent'. Which do you choose?

To Flu Shot or Not To Flu Shot

noreply@blogger.com (Sheryl Aronson) — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 23:26:00 +0000

Every year there are discussions on the Sjogren's email lists (www.dry.org) about whether we should get flu shots or not. There are also discussions on the pneumonia and shingles vaccines, and about live vs. 'dead' vaccines. The following are my thoughts and experiences, not to be confused for medical advice. Consult your own doctor regarding your own needs.

A couple of weeks ago, I felt a little achy in every muscle for a couple of days. Keep in mind that this 'little achy' is on top of my usual aches and pains, which adds up to a rather 'beat up' feeling. I had gotten my flu shot. Working in a hospital, I get such shots free, which helps. I have never before had a systemic reaction to the flu shot, usually I get varying degrees of stiffness, pain and swelling just in the arm where I got the shot.

The pneumonia shot a few years ago did give me a systemic reaction. I had fever, chills, aches, which lasted several days. This was much better than getting a full blown case of pneumonia. Still, if I need another in the future, I will discuss this reaction with the doctor to find out what they recommend.

Some people would rather take their chances of getting sick than subject themselves to a shot, and the financial cost is a factor for some people as well. Why is this subject such a big deal on the Sjogren's email lists? Sjogren's Syndrome (Or as it is being called more and more these days, Sjogren's Disease), is an autoimmune syndrome. Our own immune systems misguidedly attack our moisture producing glands. Some people misinterpret this as our immune systems being overactive, rather than misguided. They may be afraid that their immune system will over react to the flu shot, and make them sick, or trigger a flare. Everyone is different, and how each of our bodies react to the vaccine will vary.

For some people with Sjogren's Syndrome, there is another factor that comes into play in this decision. Many people with Sjogren's are on Plaquenil or Methotrexate, or other DMARDs. That means that they are disease modifying anti-rheumatic drugs. These medications suppress the immune system, and by doing so, decrease symptoms. People with suppressed immune systems need to be more careful in exposing themselves to potential infectious substances. My own understanding is that most vaccines, made from dead virus cells, are fine for them, but vaccines made from live virus cells should be avoided. That means the flu shot is okay, but the nasal spray flu vaccine (made from live cells) is not. (this is my understanding, I could be wrong).

Many people get little or no reaction to vaccines. If they do get a reaction, it is usually mild, and lasts 2-3 days, which is much better than the week or two that the flu lasts, not including any residual symptoms, secondary infections, etc. Besides that, the flu is more than just achy muscles. It is fever, headaches, coughing, fatigue, etc. My thought is to get it once, see how you react, and base future vaccination decisions on that response. (I am still not your doctor, this is only my personal opinion.) If you are trying to decide whether or not to get vaccinated, your doctor would be a good person to ask. Whatever you decide, take care of yourself, and stay warm this winter.

Motivation

noreply@blogger.com (Sheryl Aronson) — Mon, 17 Oct 2011 23:44:00 +0000

My most recent Chronic Illness/Chronic Pain Support Group meeting was on 'motivation'. I only had two people there that day, and neither could identify anything that motivates them. Living day after day after day with pain and illness can be very wearing. I have taught this topic on the inpatient psych units where I work, and have never gotten this response.

I generally spend 6-8 hours preparing for my support group meetings, doing research, and putting together a 2 page handout defining and discussing the topic, with suggestions for applying it in life. In researching the topic of motivation, most of what I found was on the level of motivating yourself to write your next book, or run a marathon. I searched for info on motivating yourself when you are depressed, and even much of that was on a different level from what I needed. 'Find something that excites you' is a great idea, but how do you do that when just getting up to pee is too much trouble or causes so much pain that you don't do it until absolutely necessary?

At its very basic, we are motivated to increase pleasure or decrease pain. There are several reasons for lack of motivation, the one we focused on was 'The benefits of staying put outweigh the benefits of moving (at least in our mind)'. One way to counteract this is to 'List the benefits of each option. Don't forget such benefits as comfort, and not having to take responsibility. How can you decrease the benefits of staying put, and increase the benefits of moving?'

Here are some excerpts from my handout on motivation:

Strategies

Set up if/then propositions. 'If I get up, I will walk.' 'If I see a Starbucks, I will ignore it.' This takes the decision making out of the loop, and the most likely option is to following through.
Plan ahead for slip-ups. 'If I can't ignore the Starbucks, I will change my route to avoid it.'
Beware of the 'what the heck' factor: eg- “I ate one cookie, I already ruined my diet, so what the heck- I might as well eat the rest of them.” Plan ahead for how to handle such situations.
Record your successes, and what you can learn from your failures.
Get an exercise or diet partner (or partner for whatever it is you want to pursue). Having someone else involved makes you more accountable.
The more you do what you set out to do, the easier it gets, and it becomes habit.
Treat depression- it saps energy, motivation and hope.
'Just do it'. Do anything- wash the dishes, clean off your counter, anything that will get you moving and accomplishing something. The feeling of accomplishment is motivating.
Make a list. Prioritize and choose one small task to work on. Focus on completing that task before taking on the next. Set a goal that will be quick and easy to reach, and go for it. Reward yourself for reaching it, to motivate yourself to take on the next goal.
Break a large goal up into smaller, more manageable steps. Just focus on the current step. Give yourself appropriate rewards for each step, not just for reaching the full goal. eg- everyday that you stick to your diet, put a quarter in a jar. At the end of 6 months, you will have lost some weight, and will have $45 to buy yourself some new clothes.
Visualize the benefits of working on and reaching your goal. Act as if you are there.
Work on your goal at least a little bit every day. Remember the 'what the heck' factor: If you miss one day, don't use this as an excuse to miss another, or to quit.
Exercise will give you more energy and improve you mood and focus.
Set up your environment to avoid triggers for habits you want to quit, and to encourage habits you want to acquire.

Willpower requires active focus. It will not work to break a habit, because the active focus on the issue makes it more likely you will do it, not less likely. In order to stop a bad habit, you need to replace it with something else. It is much harder to change a behavior if you feel deprived.

I hope these ideas help. We never did solve the problem of how to motivate yourself when even getting up to pee was difficult. I think the key is that you have to decide that you want to do whatever it is, and then find a way to make doing it more attractive than not doing it. Look at the benefits of doing it. Then do it, and praise yourself for doing it. Even if it is just getting up to pee. Ahhhhhhh!

How Do I Know What to Do?

noreply@blogger.com (Sheryl Aronson) — Sun, 09 Oct 2011 23:23:00 +0000

It seems that sometimes I live with a problem for quite awhile before it occurs to me to try to deal with it. It especially happens in regards to health issues. I think that is because I have so many things going on that I hope some of them will just go away. I know there are times that the first time I say something to my husband about an issue is two or more weeks after it started. He is very patient with me, but I don't want to over-burden him with my issues.
NOTE- The following should be viewed as suggestion, not as medical advice. Use your best judgment, and follow your doctor's instructions.

So how can you tell if a pain or other issue is worth pursuing? If it is new and severe, or disrupts your ability to function, seek help right away. If it is a symptom you have been told to watch out for, follow your doctor's instructions (eg- if he said call me right away, do that). If you have a change in medication, hold on to the insert that comes with the med., and watch for any of the symptoms listed for allergic reactions, and follow instructions. If you are unsure what you should do, (stop the med, go to the emergency room, etc), call your doctor right away. Anything that feels life threatening, of course call '911' or get to the emergency room.
If you have a new pain or other symptom that is not severe, take note of it, and see what it does over the next week or two. If it gets worse, go to your doctor. If it seems to be getting better, let it run its course. If it stays the same, use your judgment regarding how much it bothers you, and how important you think it is to your health. If it is a familiar symptom, either something that went away and came back, or showed up in a different body part, you are probably safe in treating it as you have treated it in the past. If it needed attention from a doctor in the past, it would likely need the same attention now.
Find a local or online community of people who share your particular malady(ies). I have found the Sjogren's Syndrome email list (SS-L@LISTSERV.ILLINOIS.EDU) to be invaluable as a resource for information on symptoms and treatments. Just remember that any online community should not take the place of personal medical care. It is a place for people to share their own experiences, which may not be the same as your experience, and knowledge, which may not be accurate.
This all boils down to learning what you can about your particular health issues, being attentive to changes, having a community you can consult, and, most important, using good judgment regarding how to care for your health.

Be Happy and Thin- In Moderation

noreply@blogger.com (Sheryl Aronson) — Tue, 04 Oct 2011 16:30:00 +0000

I read recently about a study that showed that people who were happy lived longer than people who were thin. (Sorry- I can't find the reference right now.) To some people, that may sound like a good excuse to stop the diet and exercise routines, and just have a good time. My thought was, "Why can't you have both?" I am sure there are people out there who just naturally have both. I used to be one of them.
I think I am already a fairly happy person. I don't let things get to me much. I want to focus on the getting thin part of the equation. I have been talking about dieting for a couple of months now, but all kinds of things got in the way of my resolve: vacation, holidays, family gatherings, etc. Good excuses all, but I could have stuck to my diet better if I had really tried.
So, about that idea of being happy and thin? My answer is: Moderation. Many 'How to lose weight ' lists say that cutting out things like soda, fancy coffee drinks, and the like will save you excess calories. One of my readers posted a comment recently and stated she had lost 10 pounds by cutting out drinking milk. That is a great way to drop pounds, and fairly easy, especially if you replace whatever it is that you eliminate with something else more healthy. My problem is, that I already eat healthy, so I don't have much I can cut from my diet. I recently started to go without my juice in the morning. I figured that I eat plenty of fruit, so I don't need the nutrients I would get from the juice. That is a start.

Eating gluten free helps me somewhat, because I can't have cookies, cakes, etc. that always seem to be appearing at work and social events. Following a gluten free diet does have its hazards, though. Gluten free bagels, bread, etc., tends to be more calorie rich than the gluten containing equivalents. The answer? Moderation: eat less of it. That is where the idea of being happy comes into all this. Instead of depriving yourself of something you really want, eat a smaller portion than you normally would take. Don't take seconds. This way, you get to enjoy whatever it is, but you also take in fewer calories than you would have. Your rate of losing weight will be slower this way than if you were on a strict diet, but most people are more likely to stick to this kind of diet, and be happier than if they were depriving themselves.
This is a situation in which you need to know yourself. Some people are not able to control how much they eat of something they like, and may need to avoid it altogether. When I go to a restaurant here in the US, meals are usually huge. I often take home at least half of my food to eat for another meal. If you have tried to do this but consistently fail, try asking for a box before you eat, and set aside part of your meal. If you still can't keep from eating the whole thing, try ordering smaller meals, don't go out to eat so often, or just accept that this is one area you can't control. Occasional indulgences may be necessary for the 'being happy' part. Just remember- moderation.
In general, if you take in fewer calories than your body is used to, and/or increase activity, you will ultimately lose weight, though not necessarily rapidly. (Science is finding that this is not exactly true, but that is a more complex discussion than I can provide here.) Eat what you usually eat, only less of it, especially the unhealthy stuff. Replace unhealthy foods with more healthy alternatives.
Many people find that having a partner or class makes exercise and dieting easier and more fun. Take care of your health needs, but don't let this be your main occupation. Make sure you include ways to enjoy live in your daily routines. Practice an attitude of gratitude.
Remember- being thin will not make you a happier person. You can be overweight and still be both happy and healthy, and you can be thin and be sad and unhealthy. Weight and happiness are not really related. The message I am trying to send is that you can work on losing weight without making yourself miserable. Just remember- moderation.

Resilience

noreply@blogger.com (Sheryl Aronson) — Mon, 26 Sep 2011 19:26:00 +0000

My most recent support group topic was 'resilience'. This is the ability to cope successfully with change or adversity. Resilient people respond to life's challenges with courage, even when afraid. We have little control over many events in our life—accidents, natural disasters, crime, illness, the economy, etc.—we can control how we respond to these events. Resilience protects against (and reverses) depression, anxiety, fear, helplessness, and other negative emotions, and thus has the potential to reduce how they affect us physically. Challenges of living with chronic illness and pain can include loss of a job, functional limitations, symptom and medication management, disability, financial stress, loneliness, loss of identity and purpose, among other things. Life itself can bring other challenges, such as relationship changes, loss of loved ones, etc. All of these things are easier to cope with if one has resilience.

Ways to develop/maintain resilience

Establish meaningful relationships- A study published in February 2011 by the International Centre of Lifecourse Studies found that resilience was not linked to socioeconomic or demographic characteristics. They found that having a good support system is the number one characteristic of a resilient person. This includes close ties to family and friends, as well as integration into the community.
Accept adversity and move on- Focus on what you still have and what you are grateful for.
Have a compassionate attitude towards yourself- Avoid excessive self criticism. Your illness and disability are not your fault.
Have realistic expectations of yourself- Focus on what you can do, and explore new options.
Help others- Volunteering and assisting others can add meaning to your life.
(Re)discover your strengths- Remind yourself of activities you used to enjoy and take pride in, and try them again.
Enjoy challenging mental activities- Pursue a variety of interests to keep you stimulated and engaged in your life. Take an interest in your world.
Plan pleasurable events and establish meaningful goals- This will give you something to look forward to. Having a sense of control over your life will make you more resilient.
Adopt a healthy lifestyle- Good health is associated with both physical and mental resilience. Eat a healthy diet, be physically active, and get adequate sleep. Avoid smoking and excess alcohol.
Exercise- Regular exercise improves health and provides a sense of mastery and well-being.
Reduce stress- Too much stress causes physical and emotional strain and erodes your resilience. Engage in relaxing activities such as hobbies, meditation and tai chi, confide in friends or family, and take time to unwind.
Accept help- Let friends and family assist you physically and emotionally. Seek professional help for depression or anxiety.

Resilience can be developed at any point in life. A major aspect of resilience is the ability to accept reality as it is, and to move forward from there. Taking care of yourself and being an active participant in your life are also vital. Pick one area above that you feel needs a boost, and think of some realistic steps you can take to improve that area of your life. Now, get a move on.

Love 'em While You Got 'em

noreply@blogger.com (Sheryl Aronson) — Sun, 11 Sep 2011 14:14:00 +0000

My aunt died this past week, and the funeral is today. She, my uncle and another aunt, along with my sister and her family and my brother all live(d) in the eastern suburbs of Cleveland, OH, about 45 minutes north of me.
My mom used to live there, too, before she died 3 years ago. For the last 3 years of my mother's life, I drove up there weekly. Initially, we would go out to lunch and go shopping, or do errands, whatever my mom needed or wanted that week. She was using a cane when this started, then went to a walker, then a wheelchair, but we still continued to go out. When it got so that she could no longer get in and out of my minivan with my help, I would just hang out with her for the afternoon, going to whatever the program was that day at her nursing home, or sit outside and talk, or go to the little ice cream parlor they had there. We had ice cream together less than a week before she died. I cherish these times we had together.
My mom had two brothers. The aunt who just died was married to the only one of those three siblings who is left. My other aunt I mentioned above was married to my mom's other brother. My sister and brother are more involved in our extended family than I am. They call the aunts/uncles more than I do. They get together with the cousins sometimes, both the ones who live in town, and the ones who come to town to visit. I generally just get together with them if one of my siblings calls me and says they are getting together with so and so, do I want to join them?
I have lots of excuses, not very many reasons. Distance is one excuse. Though it is definitely farther for me, I could do it if I really wanted to. Time is another excuse. I have too many things I am involved in. Everyone is busy. What makes me a special case? Fatigue is yet another excuse. I used to go up there to see my mom every week, even during a period of time when my fatigue level was much worse than it has been lately. Phone calls are quicker than driving up for a visit. For some reason, I have aways disliked making phone calls, though once we are talking, I generally enjoy it..
There are not very many of our parents' generation left, and all are in their 80's. Our generation ranges from the mid 40's to early 60's, including the cousins. When our mom died, my sister and I talked about the fear that the family would lose its cohesiveness. We have tried not to let that happen, but I must confess that my siblings all make more effort than I do (there is a fourth sibling, a brother in Texas [Hi Eric, Ruth and Clara]).
The title of this post, 'Love 'em While You Got 'em', is a reminder to me and to my readers that we can't turn back time. Life is not forever. We all make our own choices of how we spend our time, energy and other resources. We set our own priorities. I could choose to make contact with my family a higher priority.  I can say that I will do that, and I really would like it to be true, in theory. In actuality, I know myself well enough to know that I likely will not change much.

Its a Learning Experience, Not a Failure

noreply@blogger.com (Sheryl Aronson) — Tue, 06 Sep 2011 01:20:00 +0000

Back in January I started a gluten free diet. I don't have celiac, but this diet has made a big difference in my digestive system. (Read my previous post for details.) There is a small farmer's market on Friday afternoons near where I live. The first time I went there this year, I was thrilled to find a woman there who bakes gluten free baked goods. It was a real treat to get fresh baked goods that I could eat!

My husband and I eat oatmeal for breakfast during the work week, but on weekends, he eats bagels or English muffins. Every week I have been buying things like orange chocolate chip bread and cranberry orange scones from the farmer's market for breakfast. Over the past month or so, I have been trying to cut calories to lose some weight. This baker bakes very healthy for the most part, but I would like to decrease sugars from my diet, and use Xylitol when I do use sugar.

I decided to try baking my own gluten free goodies. I found a recipe online that is a gluten free, vegan quick bread base. What I especially like about it is that, instead of needing separate recipes for each kind of bread I want to make, I can make any combination of flavors that I dream/scheme up, using this one recipe.

So I tried it Saturday, with less than spectacular (some might even say disastrous) results. But I am not discouraged. Here is a synopsis: I gathered all the dry ingredients in a bag, and brought along the liquid ingredients and my bread pan, so I could bake my bread at our cabin. I forgot to bring the recipe with me, but I had studied it before we left home, so I remembered it. I put all the ingredients together, poured them into the bread pan, and put them into my toaster oven at the prescribed 330 degrees to bake (that is the only oven we have at our cabin, other than the microwave). I then sat down to impatiently read while it baked for '50-120 minutes, depending on ingredients'.

It was smelling good, and at 50 minutes, I checked my bread. With a wooden matchstick in hand to act as my toothpick, I opened the toaster oven. The top of my bread was black (disaster #1). The matchstick came out clean, so I let the bread cool a bit before taking it out of the pan. The top sunk (disaster #2), and when I turned the bread out of the pan, there was a gooey grayish 'pudding' in the center (disaster #3). I must point out that the grayish coloring was from poppy seeds, not from any alien excrement or subversive processes. I let the bread cool more, then when I tried to put it into a bag, it fell apart into 6-8 chunks (disaster #4).

When I first saw the blackened top, my husband asked me if I had lowered the baking temperature 25 degrees as you are supposed to do when using a toaster oven instead of a regular oven. Oops- I forgot all about that. It is likely that if I had baked the bread at a lower temp for longer, it would have been a success. In that case, I would not have had this topic to write about today. Besides that, the 'pudding' part of the bread is delicious! Since it is vegan there is no uncooked egg to worry about.

So rather than being discouraged, I am pleased with my cranberry poppy seed pudding bread. I plan to freeze it in serving size chunks for the next few weekends, meanwhile, I am thinking up new flavors. It may take some experimenting to get this bread right, but it is a learning experience, and one that I gladly take on.

We have choices of how we view any situation. I could have looked at the blackened top and gooey insides of my bread, and thrown it out, and vowed never to bake again. Instead, I looked at what went wrong and how I could fix it next time- turn down the temperature and give it more time to bake. I can laugh at how wierd my breakfast looks for 2-3 more weekends, then I will try baking another bread. That one should come out better, but if it isn't perfect, that's okay. I am learning from my mistakes.

Tips for Sleeping Better

noreply@blogger.com (Sheryl Aronson) — Fri, 26 Aug 2011 21:48:00 +0000

My most recent Chronic Illness/Chronic Pain Support Group meeting was on sleep. It is an area that many people struggle with, especially those of us with illness and/or pain. I am sharing with you my list of tips to help you sleep better.

Tips for sleeping better

Reduce caffeine, especially late in the day.

Limit alcohol- it may help you fall asleep, but the quality of the sleep will be poor.

Eliminate smoking- nicotine is a stimulant.

Don't eat a large meal right before bedtime. Eat a small nutritious bedtime snack of protein and complex carbs, such as fruit and yogurt.

Exercise early in the day.

Take rest breaks during the day if you need to, but don't nap. Naps can reduce the quantity and quality of sleep at night.

Go to bed and get up at the same time every day, whether you are working or not.

Treat any medical condition that may be affecting your sleep.

Make sure your bed and pillow are comfortable. Use extra pillows as needed to support knees or arms.

Eliminate noise or mask it with a white noise sound machine.

Keep your bedroom dark or wear a mask over your eyes.

Keep your bedroom at a comfortable temperature- some people sleep better if the room is cool.

Reserve the bedroom for sleep and sex only, so you associate the bed with relaxation, not with work.

Reduce stress during the day. Don't take problems to bed. If your mind is thinking about a problem, tell yourself that you will have time enough to work on it the next day, and turn your mind to relaxation.

Do what you need to do to make your body comfortable- moisten eyes and mouth, etc.

Give yourself time to wind down.

Establish a bedtime ritual that will signal to your body that it is time to relax. Some ideas include a warm bath and relaxing music.

Don't force yourself to sleep, or get anxious if you aren't falling asleep.

If you can't sleep, get up and do something relaxing such as reading until you are tired and can sleep.

Use relaxation techniques, such as progressive muscle relaxation, and deep breathing.

Imagine yourself floating on a cloud, or on a raft on the sea. Visualize yourself going down an escalator, or floating down on a leaf. The lower you go, the more relaxed you become.

If sleeping difficulties persist, consult your doctor.

If you have nightmares, try this: Write down your nightmare. Write a new, more pleasant ending. Repeat the new ending over and over in your mind for 3 minutes before going to bed.

Pleasant dreams!