Shhhhh... Its Sleeping

IF at First You Don't Succeed

2011-07-20T12:37:00.000+01:00

If at first you don't succeed Don't try Bungee Jumping.

Hopefully the same philosophy doesn't work for putting stuff on here cause i'm gonna try again (as half-hearted as ever) putting stuff on here for people to look at (and occasionally click the adverts.. hint hint nudge nudge..) any way this is just a blog so i can remember how to put stuff on here. Smiley face :)

Don't fear the adverts

2011-01-17T17:47:00.000+00:00

Advertising may or may not be the devil. I am not here to dispute that fact, however adverts do help the people who's website they are on (in this case me and mine) so don't be afraid to click on the adverts (only if you like the page obviously). Here are some funny adverts after the jump, just so i can justify what is essentially begging online.... does that make me a cyber-tramp?

A Tattoo is for life, Not just for Christmas

2011-01-16T23:55:00.000+00:00

I appreciate that it is january and christmas left us a long time ago, but only yule time depression and drinking can explain the following tattoos i mean getting a tattoo is a big deal, marking your body for the rest of your life. Why oh why would anyone want to do some of these. If you didn't realise it was dumb (Kill yourself your a moron) If you thought it was funny (Kill yourself your a moron).

Going Down Down Under

2011-01-16T23:23:00.002+00:00

As I'm on my way to Australia soon to work on a boat i thought i'd post this video of a boat in Australia, this isn't quite what I'm hoping to do but you know anything is possible. So check out the video after the jump and enjoy.

(*SPOILER* He did not die, he was hit on the head and dragged under but the police rescued him further down the river and after a short stay in hospital was ok. Smiley face.)

New age 3D

2011-01-16T23:18:00.000+00:00

The future is here. This is so amazing and I can't wait for this to come out... I mean i cant see anything wrong with this way of watching films, no glasses. WOW

Cheer up people

2010-12-25T03:19:00.002+00:00

Hooray it's Christmas time! another chance for people to fill Facebook with depressing status updates on how they hope next year will be better than the last one and how life is sooo bad :( boo hoo. Come on cheer up people. Here's some cheerfulness to try and help.

A quote I heard that I think is appropriate: Happiness is a choice.

sno common sense

2010-12-19T20:49:00.003+00:00

Ok, so it's still snowing outside. People are still making awesome snowmen and cabin fever is probably setting in for a lot of people, but common sence is still a must. Just because you can eat yellow snow, doesn't mean you should. Come on people learn the rules. I have found a lot of video's of morons in the snow and have stuck some of my favourite after the jump. enjoy but remember leave this to the professionals or the criminally insane...

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Snooooooo...

2010-12-16T01:26:00.005+00:00

Winter is here, there has been snow everywhere and more is set to come, this means that people are showing their creative sides and building snowmen, but this year the snowmen seem a bit more sinister than ever before. This could be they're revenge for global warming but either way. You Have Been Warned.

There is no need to worry though people. We will fight back against these cold killers

Facebook Fails

2010-12-15T02:55:00.002+00:00

People seem to spend so much time on Facebook it's unreal, all day updating their status and pretending to be farmers, i don't understand how people spend hours on it to be honest. But either way, with people spending so much time on there mistakes and awkward conversations are guaranteed, and here i am to show you the worst ones that I have found.... enjoy them here

Too Much Time on Your Hands

2010-12-14T11:50:00.001+00:00

Some people have too much time on their hands, i mean i have free time which is why i waste my time doing these blogs, but i don't have this much free time. People who do these things need to get a life, or a girlfriend, or at the very least a hobby. Dont get me wrong some of these are cool, but you have too much free time if you do them... to see the wastes of time click here.

Toilet Paper Toilet, why?

Pretty good office prank, but too much time on your hands.

This does look awesome, but what a waste of time

Giant skateboard is awesome, but why would you bother?

Built a city out of staples.. I would kill myself if i had that
much time

Wall-E Cake looks very cool, but all that time and
someone is just gonna eat it.

So many Dominos, So Much Time, Yet No Life...

Bacon AK-47 very cool but too much free time

Japan is Weird

2010-12-11T03:57:00.002+00:00

Ok, so I can confirm that the weirdest country in the world is Japan, no surprise there... but i decided that i should probably put some of these pictures up here, just because they made me laugh and I figured it was only fair to share them and hopefully share the laughter, either way hit the jump for the japanese weirdness...

Japanese People Do Not Like Being Called Sexist.

Japanese People like to lay on foam copies of women's laps...

Japanese People Like Baby Crying Contests.

Japanese People Like Peeing In The Mouth Of
Creepy Clowns Instead of Using Normal Urinals

Japanese People Like Their Halloween
Costumes To Have Balls

Petrol Problems

2010-12-11T03:33:00.001+00:00

Wow apparently the world has a deficiency in the number of evil genius' around, this is clear after a petrol bomber got caught after requiring medical attention. I know that doesn't sound too bad i mean it must be pretty easy to get burned petrol bombing somewhere right. Well unfortunately for Amir Ali, his attempts to burn down the Imperial pub in broadfield didn't go as well as expected. hit the jump for the story...

Mr Ali's attempts were foiled as when he ran away he ran into a lamppost and required medical attention. Thats right he ran into a lamppost, this led to him being caught and the CCTV evidence of the attempted arson led to him getting sentenced to 8 years in prison... wow....I mean he managed to set fire to a pub, but couldn't run down the road... seriously, this is a great advert for specsavers, just show him behind bars with the slogan, "Should've gone to specsavers" superimposed over it. To read the full story, just check out http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-11942814

Tramadol

2010-12-08T01:33:00.002+00:00

Kind of misleading title and photo, just been watching Franky Boyle's Tramadol Nights and thought i'd post some of my favourite sketches on here for you to see. Very funny but kind of offensive, if you like then Franky Boyle's Tramadol Nights is on Channel 4 but im watching it on 4OD.

To watch the videos hit the jump

The Gore Score

2010-12-06T09:01:00.001+00:00

Ok, i was watching "El Classico", the football match between Real Madrid and Barcelona. Spain and supposedly the worlds best game and was nothing shot of amazed at how much diving took place. I know some of the players aren't eligible to play football in the olympics, but practicing for the swimming should be in their own time. Any way i thought that i would post a couple of images of real sporting injuries just to remind us that having someone brush against you isn't going to break your leg....

More pictures here

This would be much worse if he wasn't crying...

OUCH...

Would you like a towel, sir?

O.K. head injuries apparently bleed alot

Throat Slit by Ice Skate.... we have a winner...... kinda

You Laugh You Lose. Round 2

2010-11-30T02:59:00.004+00:00

After you laugh you lose was my most viewed blog to date (by a long way) i figured i'd try to replicate that success, and as it was the most fun post to put together, all of the content will be new.To let you know the rules are simple, if you laugh at any point while looking through the post you lose. Don't be afraid to admit it in the comments section below.

To see the full selection hit the jump

Religious Fun

2010-11-26T12:19:00.001+00:00

The pope has announced he is in favour of condoms in extreme circumstance "like male prostitution" i'm not making this shit up and has caused great confusion as people are surprised given the churches general opinion on contraception. If i'm being honest the male prostitutes bit scares me more than the condoms bit. We all already knew that children should fear the pope and any other catholic officials but now we find out that guys aren't safe either.

It seems the catholic church is trying to use some of the intimidation tactics some other religions use, although "we have suicide bombers to defend our cause" works a little better than "obey us or an old man is gonna sodomise you (wearing a condom)"

Hit the jump for more images.

You Sir, Are Fat!

2010-11-26T10:09:00.000+00:00

Its Thanksgiving in America today, or it could have been yesterday, i'm not sure. but either way like christmas day in the U.K. it means its the time for overeating and sitting around not going to work. In the spirit of these commendable traditions i present to you some of the fattest, laziest looking animals since Rick Waller.

There Were 3 Blind mice but he ate the other one

The guy on the right has a creepy smile given where his hands are

Owner "Fido Fetch"
Fido"Fuck Off"

Garfield ain't got shit on me

Fat Cat Means More to Eat

If Fat Cat is more to eat then Vietnam see's this as an
all you can eat buffet

I was wondering what happened to gary coleman, looks like
a snake got him

I dare you to call him fat.

WTF is THAT?!?!

Win, I actually wanna meet this ape...

Black Belt in Fail

2010-11-21T16:42:00.003+00:00

What is it that makes people think they are dangerous because they own a sword. The people in the videos after the jump are dangerous to themselves and that is it i mean WOW.... is all I can say about some of these people,

Check out some of the least dangerous martial arts instructors and sword enthusiasts of all time after the jump.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

I Could Do That

2010-11-19T15:51:00.003+00:00

Just been watching some epic videos of people doing some epic things, and after a couple of minutes fooling myself that i could probably do them i've decided to just share them and leave the stunts and tricks up to the pros...

click here for the videos
check out this older blog as well

U Laff U Lose

2010-11-17T17:48:00.004+00:00

The Challenge has been Set. If you can look through this whole post without laughing then you are a winner. If not then you lose... for the rest of the images click here

IKEA Life

2010-11-15T15:06:00.003+00:00

What if IKEA made instructions for everything...

You Can't Rollerskate in a Buffalo Herd

2010-11-14T13:28:00.000+00:00

Proving that Jackass' warning not to attempt their stunts is true a 67 year old woman is in hospital after she was attacked by a bull while walking through it's field near Leicestershire. Hang on, so they walked through its field, it attacked them, and everyone is pissed and the bull got put down...wtf? for the full story check out http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-nottinghamshire-11752957

Future Nurses

2010-11-11T20:56:00.000+00:00

Girl Rope Swings Into The Ground - Watch more Funny Videos
And this girl is the one who is closest to being a nurse? if the american health system is in trouble now wait until she graduates.

Darth Vader vs Hitler

2010-11-10T23:42:00.005+00:00

Ultimate battle of Evil, Who would win Hitler or Darth Vader

To find out watch the video after the jump

I think this is historically accurate...
Epic Video By NicePeter

Jesus Had HIV

2010-11-09T17:45:00.001+00:00

According to South African Pastor Xola Skosana Jesus Christ was HIV-Positive.

Pastor Xola Skosana Said this in Cape Town, South Africa

Hang on, so the son of god, suffered from a debilitating disease. A disease that would almost certainly have led to aids (I don't think there was much medication in the year 0AD). This would mean that a common cold or minor infection could kill him. I think the roman put a bit to much effort into his cross if that is the case. I mean i've watched live aid, Aids victims can hardly stand up, surely just sneeze on him and end i quick. (this is a joke, fundamentalists please don't kill me)

Although it does raise the question where did Jesus get HIV, is the Pastor suggesting that Jesus and the disciples were passing around the heroin at the last supper and one of them didn't clean the needle, or maybe Jesus didn't wrap his tool while getting it on with Mary Madeline. Either way you'd think God might have stepped in if either of these were true.

For the full story on this visit http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-africa-11575773