Shit My Brain Dreams

Zombies!

2012-10-08T22:01:00.000+10:30

I'd been chased by zombies for a while when I realised I'd had enough of the dream, that it was a dream, and started yelling at myself "wake up! wake up right now!" It didn't work and I ducked behind a shelf or something against a wall and watched zombies walk past while I thought about what to do. One stopped in front of me and started eating a person. It was Hugo.

I got to a house which was relatively safe for a while. I'd met up with other people and there were cars nearby, but as we were going to them there were small zombie creatures which would set themselves on fire and then attempt to cling to you so you would catch on fire as well. I was smashing them with a stick and they were making squeek noises like a dog toy as they died.

We got to the cars and I started asking who we could ride with as our car wasn't there. Simon said everyone had to go in their own car and I was majorly pissed, but then Tom let us go with him. He had a stretch mini...

Sample Cakes

2012-09-30T22:02:00.000+09:30

Dave got really pissed off because Harris bought a selection of 6 wedding cakes to dinner for us to sample. He was insisting it was pointless as he wasn't getting married... but the cakes were good!

Ptero-dog

2012-08-02T13:21:00.002+09:30

Driving along a dirt road in a nature park towards a camping van we passed a number of birds in a clearing and stopped to see what kind of birds were congregating. There were many different kinds and one came right up to the bus and then changed into a four legged dog like creature which had pterodactyl wings. A girl got off the bus and pulled open the creatures wings because she wanted to have a better look and it turned around and bit her on the arms.

Illegal Bears

2012-05-13T19:19:00.000+09:30

We were driving a spy sub around in the ocean watching whales which was pretty amazing. When we got back to the base there was a guy using a bear to fish in a little boat which was illegal. He saw us and tried to leave so we attempted to get his number place, but it was in a code... BEEHS EBB........ I tried to take photos because I knew I wouldn't remember the whole sequence but then he tried to run us down. He set the Land Rover in gear and then jumped out of the car but it veered off, missed us and went over the cliff and into the ocean.

License Codes

2012-05-10T11:34:00.003+09:30

A creepy young boy wanted to know the license code for a game, but I didn't know it. His hysterical mother was in the garden and couldn't work out what was wrong with her, but walking back into the house I noticed a vaguely human shaped stain on the carpet in the lounge room and another smaller stain in the entry. I asked the boy if his uncle had arrived as perhaps he knew the code. He smiled and said "He didn't know." I found the code on the back of a packet of cereal that was on the kitchen table and gave it to the boy then went to talk to the mother again. She was still hysterical and still "gardening" so I decided to leave before I ended up part of the garden too.

Mansions

2012-05-08T20:25:00.001+09:30

I bought part of an old mansion which consisted of 3 bedrooms and just as many bathrooms but was quite run down. The lady that owned the winery next door had done up the out building as a restaurant and offered me the rest of the house for a great price. The downstairs ceilings were tall with a beautiful dual stair and gorgeous long driveway.

Chicken Effects

2012-05-07T20:21:00.000+09:30

I was working on special effects for a film and it was running behind. The woman who was managing the project took our pets from the company kennels, but up the road my chicken flew out of her arms. I got angry and called her, running to pick her up as a dog started chasing her. She flew into my arms just in time and I demanded the rest of the week off and exclaimed how irresponsible it was to take the chicken without putting her in a carrier, especially as my work was on track despite the others.

Tidal Waves

2012-04-20T20:47:00.000+09:30

The tide was coming in with the waves getting bigger and bigger. There was a small rectangular slot in a stone wall so I took off my pearls and put them into the slot and the waves stopped.

Disguised

2012-04-17T20:46:00.000+09:30

I was a king but had to go undercover as someone was killing royals to get themself on the throne. I disguised myself as a girl and tried to slip away during my uncles funeral but as a nobody it was difficult to get transport anywhere.

Melting Icebergs

2012-04-14T20:44:00.000+09:30

I was staying in a hostel so I could go to uni. We had a major project due but I hadn't done it because I'd just got married so instead I tried to do a demonstration about icebergs but my cardboard kept melting in the cold water and my teacher was distractingly dressed as a devil.

Giant Slayer

2012-04-06T11:05:00.002+09:30

I was some kind of elite special agent sent to kill a giant. I went past it and set up in a sniping position lying on the ground with a special yellow gun that shot huge nails. I managed to shoot it three times in the head making it really angry before it saw me so I ran around a corner out of its site and ducked behind some cars and bushes. Then I realised I had a bright yellow gun so I tried to hide that under my clothes as the giant came to search for me. The three shots were enough to kill it though and it collapsed on the road.

Chicken Trip

2012-04-05T13:24:00.003+09:30

I was late for a bus and my little chicken was following along like a puppy so I scooped her up and put her in my pocket. On the bus I took her out and the girl sitting next to me thought she was adorable and was patting her. Harriet loved all the attention.

One Hundred Thousand Dreams

2012-03-26T13:47:00.000+10:30

We'd been on holiday and I was still a little annoyed that Mark had cost us an extra $128 because he'd spent over an hour in the shower and used up all the water. When we got home we found that his Dad had spent $100k renovating our bathroom and it looked horrendous. In fact the sink area wasn't even connected right and the tiles were starting to lift off the wall. One wall had small aqua blue tiles, one had large off white tiles and the third wall was made up of tiles of all shapes and sizes with pictures on them. I spent the rest of the dream lamenting what we could do with $100k if we had it.

Aztec Zombie Bread!

2012-03-24T13:47:00.000+10:30

I was at a secret aztec pyramid archaeological dig because I knew secrets about ways to get in, but the lady was a complete jerk so I took off all my clothes and hid in the sand because my skin tone matched perfectly and then went through a secret enterance with my pet frog to get away from them. Once underneath the pyramid I put on some clothes again and a professor and a bunch of students came walking through and I asked the professor to employ me so I wouldn't have to work for the she-bitch from hell again and to also get her fired and get my dog back which she had.

Then we found there were zombies everywhere and Mark and his friends had guns so we were shooting them, but they kept coming unless you really tore them apart and we were running out of bullets. We finally got to a safe spot and could get some sleep, but in the morning when we got reinforcements everyone had turned into slices of bread and I couldn't remember which one was Mark.

Tinkering with Necromancy

2012-03-14T13:56:00.000+10:30

I was some kind of wealthy person expected to attend dinner parties, etc, but I decided that wasn't for me so I needed a new career. I could choose between tinker, gypsy or prostitute. I decided on tinker as they had started a small musical band and were more respected than the gypsy group. One of the girls was kidnapped and taken into a haunted house and as part of my initiation I had to get her back. I had to defeat all the undead things and I worked out there was a chant that had to be performed on a certain design on the floor which included a pentagram and "666". After we defeated the spirit necromancer he told us that this was only the beginning or "part 1" and he would return again stronger.

Flaming Pedophile

2012-03-13T13:52:00.000+10:30

I was looking after a Japanese child star and a pedophile was trying to kidnap her. He had flame red hair that gradually turned grey as the dream progressed and we tried secret doors, travelling along roof-tops and balconies only, trying to lose him in a market place and all kinds of weapons from stun guns to samurai swords.

Secrets!

2012-02-26T09:53:00.004+10:30

Mark was wanting to find my "more secret" diary, so to trick him I was going to lots of odd places and different cupboards going "hmm, is it in here?"

Actually, that I have a secret diary is news to me too...

Hidden Room

2012-02-23T10:33:00.000+10:30

We were cleaning up Nanna's house to get it ready to sell until I found a secret door that lead into a whole other area of the building. It had high ceilings and an old fireplace, new carpets that needed a bit of a clean and a few large boxes of things. After a new coat of paint it would have been really special and it looked out onto a gorgeous secret garden noone had seen before.

No Bruce Willis!

2012-02-20T22:15:00.000+10:30

"No Bruce Willis, you can't rescue the girl because you've got no legs" is what I said to a wheel chair bound Bruce Willis who was missing his legs from just above his knees and using a motorised wheel chair right before I carried a blonde haired woman from somewhere... before I was laughing too much I woke myself up about saying that to Bruce Willis.

Diamond Beads

2012-02-17T10:28:00.002+10:30

My boss presented me with a huge envelope of beads and jewellery parts. There was a collection of flat beads which were made from flat slivers of diamond with a embossed letter. I didn't like them so I offered to make him a bracelet spelling the name of his daughter. I made one which said "Coraline" (not the name of his daughter) and then found some beautiful polished jade beads amongst strands of tacky plastic ones which I separated out to keep for myself.

Sorry Mark, You're a Ghost...

2012-02-10T10:57:00.002+10:30

Mark died before we got married, but he was a ghost and I could still talk to him every day. I was disappointed that he couldn't have the tasty lollies I'd bought for him. Then I went to a shopping centre, but I couldn't get my car to drive up the very steep ramp to the car parks so I dumped my car in front of the ramp and rode a donkey into an elevator. When I got to the right floor an old art teacher from highschool was standing in a strange sculpture/water feature of crystal shards. He was painting feathers with purple paint and a paint brush the size of a broom.

Disjointed

2012-02-02T12:53:00.002+10:30

*tossturn* I heard a noise outside and peeked through the blinds. There was a car with a trailer driving up a ramp onto the roof of our house. I didn't think it was strange, but wished the noise would stop *tossturn* I opened my eyes and I was lying on a couch-like seat which reminded me of a diner. A table appeared between my seat and another. Two people appeared on the seat opposite mine. I asked them to stop talking as I was trying to sleep *tossturn* The bed was huge and people were jumping on it. I told them where they could stick their jumping...

I had partially awoken just before this dream to noises outside of Mark getting ready for work and loading the car. I was told afterwards there had also been a phone call shortly after he left which probably added to the changes and strange disjointed dream

Sheets of Dirt

2012-01-22T13:00:00.000+10:30

I was riding my bike from a shop home. The streets weren't quite the same as in real life. There was a large dirt road leading up to a house with an overgrown garden and a tyre swing in a tree that looked a bit like a willow. As I started riding up the hill it got steeper and steeper. Near the top I got off my bike, pushing it up, then I clung onto the top of the hill as the steepness increased. Suddenly the section of dirt I was holding on to peeled away like a sheet on a mattress that had been turned on its side. I was propelled back to the bottom of the hill, still holding a sheet of dirt as it peeled away from the ground.

Broken Sword

2012-01-20T13:08:00.000+10:30

I was inside a computer roll playing style game and we were killing various monsters. Most were like zombies, but some had heads like a gorgon or flew like a harpy. I was slaying monsters and had cut my way through to a staircase that lead up the side of a large wall to a platform above. As I reached the platform my sword stopped working. As the monsters advanced I started pressing all the buttons I could see on it. Swearing I ran back down the steps and was thankful the zombies were slow ones as I continued pressing buttons trying to get the sword to work. I was backed into a corner just as the sun come out and the zombies started melting into the ground.

Reputations

2011-11-29T08:33:00.001+10:30

Our friend posted to twitter that he was making a strawberry milkshake and had heard a noise outside which scared the crap out of him but later turned out to be his new neighbour. Then he got embarrassed and ranty that it would ruin his reputation. I thought that was funny and smsed Mark to have a look while I was sweeping the paths around the house.