Shooting Folly

Towel in Trousers

2013-05-23T13:31:00.000+05:30

They'll spare you if you loot,
Molest a woman, they will scoot,
But if you scowl
Or wear a towel
You're arrested, 'cos you're a brute.

Valentine's Day Blues

2013-02-14T12:09:00.000+05:30

He sobbed and then confessed,
He declared you were the best,
He has a wife,
Has girl friends rife,
Lady, dump this moronic pest.

Valentine's Day's a waste of time
The love songs are pantomime
Marketers use tricks
To bankrupt you quick
And leave you without a dime.

He'll swear undying love
Compare you to stars above
On Valentine's Day
You'll receive a bouquet
Then swiftly give you the shove.

Bleeding Heart Liberals

2013-01-30T19:09:00.000+05:30

Bleeding heart liberals will quail
Save terrorists and rapists they wail,
For barborous crimes
Libs will chime
"Why weren't they granted bail."

What's the Big Deal?

2012-10-18T15:35:00.000+05:30

From the poor the crooks began to steal,
Then the victims decided to squeal,
"It's a paltry sum
A few lakhs ain't fun,"
Asked a leader, "What's the big deal?"

Motamaal Baby

2012-09-12T20:23:00.004+05:30

As a member of the elite flock,
You augment your assets and stock,
Silver spoons at birth
Won't add to net worth
So you're rewarded free coal blocks.

The word "Motamaal" popularized by BJP leader Sushma Swaraj, signifies 'fat sums' or 'massive profits.'

"Not Waving but Drowning"

2012-08-15T13:45:00.000+05:30

The scammers who loot are clowning,

The dolts who cheat, we're crowning,

When the bandits cheered,

The serfs all jeered

Because we're not waving, we're drowning.

Apologies to Stevie Smith who wrote the poem "Not Waving but Drowning." Happy Independence Day!

Darkness at Noon

2012-08-03T12:09:00.000+05:30

When millions endured power cuts

A UPA spokesman did strut

"A crisis it is not,"

Said he, with a swat,

Folks, better keep your mouths shut.

Flushed with Funds

2012-06-06T16:46:00.000+05:30

On board the profligacy train

Montek planned in his brilliant brain

*35 lakhs for 2 loos

Caused quite a ballyhoo

Our taxes just went down the drain.

*1 lakh = Rs 100,000

Smelling of Roses

2012-05-16T19:59:00.000+05:30

A. Raja was granted bail

Like a hero he stepped out of jail;

His supporters elated,

Their joy unabated

More scams for him to inhale?

'Reel' Trouble

2012-04-30T20:12:00.000+05:30

You and your lover got laid,
A film your rendezvous betrayed,
You're both so hot
You're caught, so what
You were discussing tariffs and trade.

Lies, Damned Lies and Statistics

2012-04-16T20:13:00.000+05:30

The new IIP* numbers were out,

Wild data was bruited about,

Economists are tense

Figures don't make sense

Who's compiled them? Statistical louts?

IIP: Index of Industrial Production

Voodoo Planning

2012-03-29T16:36:00.000+05:30

Earn less than rupees twenty eight,

You're poor, states a policy potentate

If you earn twenty nine,

Order Burgundy wine

Says the wizard in economics debates.

U-turn

2012-03-12T20:12:00.000+05:30

Cotton exports would face a ban,

Announced the government with elan,

Then the ban was revoked,

In one swift stroke,

Are U-turns a new game plan?

Red and Blue

2012-03-01T16:11:00.000+05:30

Paint Kolkata blue, Mamata said,

Residents' hearts were filled with dread,

They revolted and complained

She hollered with disdain

"Because the Communists painted the town red."

Valentine's Prey

2012-02-14T15:11:00.001+05:30

On V-Day he will give you a ring
With rose bouquets he will sing,
You'll soon discover
He's a two-timing lover
You're just one in a series of flings.

Bread and Circuses

2012-01-31T18:06:00.000+05:30

In 100 AD, poet Juvenal declared

Bread and circuses had Romans ensnared,

With subsidies we're sustained,

Reality shows numb our brains,

We're engrossed in our vanity fairs.

Happy New Jeer

2011-12-31T00:11:00.002+05:30

2011 was not a year of cheer

With inflation life was austere,

Prices continue to be high,

And consumers do cry,

Nothing's changed; Happy New Year.

Wine, Tweet and Song

2011-12-17T00:25:00.000+05:30

I'm in a melancholic funk,

Sip wine, they'll call me drunk,

If I sing a song,

They'll say I'm wrong

I think I'll become a monk.

FDI: Frantic Didi Intervenes

2011-12-04T16:22:00.001+05:30

FDI's been put on hold

Indefinitely, so we're told,

So Mamata said,

Ministers ran and fled,

And the PM's out in the cold.

Free for All

2011-11-09T19:42:00.000+05:30

Mamata set the rioters free

Who were on a destructive spree

"Don't you dare dictate

How I run my state

So please stop harassing me."

Beauty and the Botox

2011-10-06T15:50:00.000+05:30

You love their pouts and their smiles,

Their looks defy age all the while,

That actor's face,

Of wrinkles not a trace,

It's the Botox and the surgeon's guile.

BPL: Babus' Pathetic Lies

2011-09-23T16:20:00.000+05:30

You can live on 32 rupees,

With Planning Commission's expertise,

When mandarins croak,

Such pathetic jokes,

They suffer from deficiency disease.

Behenji's Sandal Park

2011-09-06T16:25:00.000+05:30

The UP memorials are eyesores,

Designer sandals Behenji adores,

In a private jet a pair

Arrived for her to wear

Expect statues of sandals galore.

His Master's Voice

2011-08-27T10:30:00.000+05:30

Anna's corrupt from head to toe,

Said Tiwari, his face all aglow,

His facile regret

Maybe a veiled threat

To abuse on nightly news shows.

Sheila's CAGmire

2011-08-08T15:57:00.000+05:30

Chief Minister Sheila Dikshit

Is mired in a scammer's pit

"It's Kalmadi's fault

That the scams did vault

And causing my hysterical fits."