tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9212561424262522382Thu, 11 Sep 2025 07:57:03 +0000complaintsgermshand foot and mouthmarriagemenmiseryplagueplayspacesickworryhttp://www.shortfatdictator.com/noreply@blogger.com (Margaret)Blogger258125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9212561424262522382.post-8235888993783116315Fri, 03 Oct 2014 17:44:00 +00002014-10-03T10:45:12.659-07:00 Clown costume circa 1979. Don't blame my Mom for the makeup - I insisted on doing it myself. When my siblings and I were little my Mom would start taking orders for our Halloween costumes at some point in the late summer.  For months she would work on crafting our outfits. She'd tear pictures of whatever superhero or historic figure she was attempting to recreate out of magazines http://www.shortfatdictator.com/2014/10/one-special-thing.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Margaret)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9212561424262522382.post-7098287282067942172Sat, 13 Sep 2014 00:41:00 +00002014-09-12T17:43:02.567-07:00 Well, it took us two full months but we are FINALLY home. Four years ago we decided to move. One year ago we decided it would be this June. And two months ago we packed up our home in Los Angeles and hit the road for what turned out to be points HIGHLY unknown. After almost 5 weeks with my in-laws in Texas we headed for New York because we'd been assured from all http://www.shortfatdictator.com/2014/09/home-again.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Margaret)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9212561424262522382.post-2708234636342007740Thu, 24 Jul 2014 15:15:00 +00002014-07-24T08:53:43.639-07:00 On account of our in-flux housing situation my fivesome has spent the better part of the summer hanging out in Texas with my in-laws.  I've spent time in Texas before, but never like "surprise, you'll be here for six weeks!" time, and so I've had to do quite a bit of improvising. You know what's not all that easy when you have three kids under six?  IMPROVISING. http://www.shortfatdictator.com/2014/07/diamonds-in-rough.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Margaret)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9212561424262522382.post-7414575420992992538Thu, 10 Jul 2014 17:46:00 +00002014-07-10T13:17:01.519-07:00 When my father was a young man he had surgery to remove a large growth from one of his lungs. Because the medical technology of the time was neither all that medical nor all that technical, part of his recovery required him to abstain from water for the better part of several days. When visitors would come to see him during this period my father recalls being overcome by a single http://www.shortfatdictator.com/2014/07/perspective-lost.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Margaret)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9212561424262522382.post-7862587418101609347Thu, 26 Jun 2014 18:07:00 +00002014-06-26T11:07:00.692-07:00 It's giveaway week at Short Fat Dictator! On Tuesday my friend and fellow blogger at A MOM AMOK released her memoir "Now I See You".  When a friend comes out with a book your mind kind of goes like this (and when I say "your mind" please note that I probably mean "my crazy mind"): [Book is Announced] My friend wrote a book! How exciting! OMG I can't wait to read http://www.shortfatdictator.com/2014/06/now-i-see-you-book-giveaway.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Margaret)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9212561424262522382.post-1256109226844924708Fri, 13 Jun 2014 15:46:00 +00002014-06-13T08:47:58.220-07:00 For Father's Day this week I'm sharing a piece from my aunt's blog. It is about her father, my grandfather and I love it. Go read her anytime at  www.terrymartinhekker.com June 2014 ~ Father's Day Memories of my Father Probably  the most unappreciated job in our culture is “father”. He is the butt of jokes calling him clueless. He shows up in TV commercials as the one http://www.shortfatdictator.com/2014/06/fathers-day.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Margaret)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9212561424262522382.post-9014911787725176546Fri, 06 Jun 2014 01:35:00 +00002014-06-05T18:35:49.824-07:00Hey Guys! So our plan to move East has moved from "planning phase" to "holy crap its happening phase". This means we are on the eve of a cross-country move. In other news, the house we were in the middle of purchasing in New York fell through. This means that my little family of FIVE leaves LA on Monday without, you know, a destination. It's pretty much like a leap of faith where we http://www.shortfatdictator.com/2014/06/a-brief-update.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Margaret)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9212561424262522382.post-9060513273294214683Thu, 22 May 2014 22:08:00 +00002014-05-22T16:18:46.276-07:00 What else is there really to say about the laundry? And yet -- ALL I WANT TO DO IS COMPLAIN ABOUT THE LAUNDRY! Before I was married I can't say I ever really gave laundry that much thought.  I would wear clothes, occasionally they would become dirty, and then I would journey to the laundry room and wash them, perhaps while reading a novel of my choosing.  Could it be that ithttp://www.shortfatdictator.com/2014/05/its-laundry-day-everyday.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Margaret)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9212561424262522382.post-3216174929548042488Thu, 08 May 2014 22:02:00 +00002014-05-08T15:02:36.798-07:00 Oh people, the fighting at my house. It is not to be believed. When I opted to have three children in short order I had visions of a jolly threesome who might spend long afternoons frolicking merrily about the lawn as I sat, perhaps enjoying a cocktail of my choosing.  What I failed to imagine was just how many hours I would spend shrieking repeatedly and at ever-increasing http://www.shortfatdictator.com/2014/05/fight-night-and-day-and-then-night-again.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Margaret)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9212561424262522382.post-8655907044934595669Thu, 01 May 2014 21:19:00 +00002014-05-01T14:44:26.234-07:00 Instead of making polite conversation with people I didn't feel like talking to, I would simply point at them before shouting "I AM SHY OF YOU!" Then I would cover my face with both of my hands until they went away. I would consider a handful of goldfish crackers and an ice cream cone a sensible dinner. When big decisions were needed I would ask myself, "How would http://www.shortfatdictator.com/2014/05/if-i-lived-like-my-three-year-old.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Margaret)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9212561424262522382.post-6612925525647128480Fri, 11 Apr 2014 00:50:00 +00002014-04-10T18:32:51.711-07:00 We celebrated my father's birthday a few years back, and at the end of our dinner he raised a glass and announced to his assembled family, "Well, I can tell you one thing for sure. You never do feel seventy-five!" I knew just what he meant.  I try, as often as possible, to spend time with my childhood BFF. Whenever we're together it's like old times. We laugh like http://www.shortfatdictator.com/2014/04/when-will-grown-up-get-here-my-messy.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Margaret)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9212561424262522382.post-224312636525676392Thu, 03 Apr 2014 23:24:00 +00002014-04-03T18:07:53.005-07:00 We have three children under six and we live in a two bedroom house, which means that of late we have found ourselves desperately trying to figure out how to get all three of our kids to sleep in the same room at the same time. I'm not gonna lie -- it hasn't been going that well. When we first moved into this home we had one 7-month-old baby. Having moved from a one-bedroom http://www.shortfatdictator.com/2014/04/there-were-three-in-bed-room.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Margaret)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9212561424262522382.post-981587135349201002Fri, 28 Mar 2014 00:14:00 +00002014-03-27T17:16:08.878-07:00 This piece… http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/shouts/2014/03/new-parenting-study-released.html …from the New Yorker has been everywhere this week because it is, you know, perfection. Having been a parent for exactly five-and-a-half years this week, I've been through countless iterations of the "new must-have parenting system!!!!"  I've been told: Be a TIGER MOM and http://www.shortfatdictator.com/2014/03/figuring-it-out.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Margaret)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9212561424262522382.post-6601963008089331702Thu, 20 Mar 2014 21:02:00 +00002014-03-20T14:02:46.809-07:00 From www.thefreedictionary.com nag (næɡ) vb, nags, nagging or nagged 1. n.  a person, esp a woman, who nags synonyms:shrew, harpy, termagant, harridan; More Do you know that there is no equivalent male word for "nag" in the English language? Men weigh in, women nag - or so goes the logic. As one half of a married http://www.shortfatdictator.com/2014/03/on-nagging.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Margaret)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9212561424262522382.post-839514724545934873Thu, 27 Feb 2014 22:41:00 +00002014-02-28T10:08:28.139-08:00 About two decades ago I went to Playland amusement park in Rye, NY with my best friend and her three-year-old child. As we walked through the midway, I watched her eyes scan the horizon on constant alert for what might lie ahead.  "Yeah, let's turn here, I don't want to pass that game that has all the Barneys." "OK, left up here, I don't want him to see those Pikachushttp://www.shortfatdictator.com/2014/02/we-gotta-get-that.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Margaret)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9212561424262522382.post-7431444112460245515Fri, 21 Feb 2014 01:00:00 +00002014-02-20T19:28:03.192-08:00 I've always been a performer at heart. From my earliest days I've been trying to get people to pay attention to me. As a kid, I was the class clown. In high school, I imagined a singular future for myself -- INTERNATIONALLY RENOWNED POP STAR. Yeah, that didn't exactly work out. Instead I went to college, where I joined an improv group and began to focus on a http://www.shortfatdictator.com/2014/02/is-this-thing-still-on.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Margaret)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9212561424262522382.post-98367896068972879Thu, 13 Feb 2014 23:33:00 +00002014-02-13T16:31:24.844-08:00 Last night I came home from the gym to find my kids eating some fast food my husband had picked up for them after an outing to the park.  I walked by on my way to the shower, grabbed a french fry off my son's plate, and popped it in my mouth. Outrage immediately ensued. There was great wailing and gnashing of teeth by my son at the loss of this beloved fry. His older brotherhttp://www.shortfatdictator.com/2014/02/the-time-out.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Margaret)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9212561424262522382.post-7392344074258437185Fri, 07 Feb 2014 00:05:00 +00002014-02-06T16:16:46.692-08:00 Five years and three kids into this whole parenting gig there is a phrase that I have decided to permanently retire from my arsenal.  The phrase is: I WOULD NEVER. When I was pregnant with my first child I spent a lot of time on an "Expectant Moms" message board. One of the threads was titled,  "THINGS I WILL NEVER DO WITH MY KIDS" It featured subjects such as: "I would http://www.shortfatdictator.com/2014/02/well-i-nevah.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Margaret)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9212561424262522382.post-3208619631885260847Thu, 30 Jan 2014 20:42:00 +00002014-01-30T12:57:39.705-08:00 My son has a lovey named Blue Bear. Blue Bear has been with us since our son was born and the two of them have been through a variety of trials together. When my son was younger he did everything with Blue Bear. Blue Bear came to meals at the table. Blue Bear managed to skirt the "No Blue Bears outside!" ordinance and sneak in some occasional fun-time out in the sandbox. Blue Bear was a http://www.shortfatdictator.com/2014/01/blue-bear-goes-to-work.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Margaret)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9212561424262522382.post-6338794722856342191Fri, 24 Jan 2014 04:07:00 +00002014-01-23T20:07:00.962-08:00 We are BACK after almost twenty-one days of holiday fun-time travel! We had some airline related woes (previously chronicled) but in general our trip was wonderful and successful and filled with visits to parents, aunts, uncles and cousins large and small. We also went to see the newest Disney film "FROZEN" For weeks we'd been passing billboards for the movie as we drove around L.A. http://www.shortfatdictator.com/2014/01/frozen-short-fat-film-review.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Margaret)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9212561424262522382.post-3859091277431555132Fri, 17 Jan 2014 02:55:00 +00002014-01-17T07:40:39.505-08:00 Hey there strangers! So I took a little blogging hiatus over the Winter Break that has accidentally turned into almost a month away from the site. Oops! I'll be back in one week describing my not-too-successful outing to the film "Frozen" with my 5 and 3 year old boys. In the meantime come over to www.facebook.com/shortfatdictator and join the conversation! Happy New Year and I'll see youhttp://www.shortfatdictator.com/2014/01/im-backalmost.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Margaret)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9212561424262522382.post-8300333414181272906Fri, 27 Dec 2013 15:17:00 +00002013-12-27T07:17:45.835-08:00 We're in Texas where we've been visiting my husband's family and introducing the kiddos to the simple joys of the 60 degree Christmas.  Good times. Unfortunately, in order to enjoy all of this holiday merriment, we of course had to travel by airliner from Los Angeles, CA to San Antonio, TX. Yeah, that part didn't go so well. Because we didn't want to lug our kids' "Santa toyshttp://www.shortfatdictator.com/2013/12/the-delay.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Margaret)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9212561424262522382.post-3919219785623756206Thu, 12 Dec 2013 20:41:00 +00002013-12-12T12:41:06.200-08:00 Two weeks ago we traveled to Chicago for Thanksgiving. The kids took the travel in stride and then held up pretty well for a week at my brother's non-toddler-centric home. We had a really fantastic visit, but on the whole the entire undertaking proved to be kind of monumentally exhausting. Then, as I mentioned last week, we came home and flew headlong into a weekend of http://www.shortfatdictator.com/2013/12/the-bye-week.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Margaret)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9212561424262522382.post-6025030915344145984Thu, 05 Dec 2013 22:37:00 +00002013-12-05T14:40:42.896-08:00 It never ceases to amaze me how 5-plus years into this whole parenting gig I still fall into the simplest of traps.  At this point in my "momming" journey I really should understand this simple rule: "You should not tell your children about exciting events before those events are actually going to happen." It's Parenting 101, people, but I admit that blew it. Last http://www.shortfatdictator.com/2013/12/christmas-fever.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Margaret)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9212561424262522382.post-1044570637487037507Thu, 21 Nov 2013 18:47:00 +00002013-11-21T11:31:16.275-08:00 Once again the plague has come to my door. My family has been visited by the stomach flu and only two have come out unscathed. (And no, I was not one of the spared. I was scathed. DEFINITELY scathed.)  So today I come here to simply present THE FIVE STAGES OF THE STOMACH FLU 1. DENIAL There is no way I can have the stomach flu. I mean sure the baby was puking pretty bad yesterday and Ihttp://www.shortfatdictator.com/2013/11/the-five-stages-of-stomach-flu.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Margaret)