Being Cynical

Our Media Needs A Radical Change

2012-01-29T13:55:00.010+05:30

Not police reforms, not our pathetic food security bill. Neither our nonexistent education system or defense and foreign policies. What that needs some radical change on priority is our Media. The fourth estate of the world’s largest democracy is acting comical for some time and it is only obligatory that proper renovations are done to make it look more mature, genuine and most important stay focused on the real issues on hand than going around like a bunch of school kids and start howling every time their tiffin boxes are attacked.

If you don’t consider magazines like ‘Mayapuri’ or ‘Madhur Kahaniya’ are good enough examples of print media then you can safely strikeout India TV, Live TV and to some extent even Aaj Tak from the list when I say Media as a whole. They are a casualty on the image of Indian Media which is surprisingly allowed and endured in our country for years together; and they best be left to run their regular Tendua expedition, extraterrestrial objects or what Sani Maharaj has to say on daily basis. As anyway, clowns should never be taken seriously or brought into context of any serious discussion.

Coming back to the point. Once one of my friend disclosed his disbelief on how I can spend hours together only watching News channels on TV; to which I replied – ‘I love whatever that is handmade’. The news that we see on TV now-a-days is more off an effort at fabricating a mole and build a mountain out of it. Most of the time the news item that runs on our channels outlive the issue itself and we end up being fed with enough artificial ingredients which could lead to some impending mental poisoning. Nonissues are endeavored hard to make an issue of it, which are far from addressing the interest of an average Indian and in all sense looks more bizarre than IIPM’s claim of them being one of the best business schools of India.

For a starter; while I have all my sympathy for the couple who were forced to part away with their kids by the Norwegian authorities for reasons best known to gray heads in the government; does it anyway a news of that magnitude that every time I switch on to my news channel, I have this drumming on the idiot box? Being one of our citizens the couple’s plight must be aired so that the powers that be at our end must take adequate cognizance and steps be taken to end the plight; but airing the same every half an hour isn’t a bit aggrandizement? This looks even more illogical when our media houses jump the gun and start questioning the intent of a sovereign nation, more so when we ourselves react like a leech sprinkled with salt every time some foreign media does the same against our nation or our intent. If plight of parents who are forced to stay away from their children is a paramount issue, then why not air the plight of the prostitutes whose children were forcefully taken away by the brothel owners so that the mother continues to serve the clients fulltime without wasting a second on her children. Why not air the story that regularly of a poor tribal widow of Bastar who had to part away with her six month old kid as selling the child was her last and only avenue for survival. Why not air the story of our children of the slum who were on regularity forced to the world of crime or flesh trade (depending on the gender)? Why only the children of an NRI take center stage while million others just doesn’t fit into the scheme of things? Is it the economic stature of the aggrieved calls the shot or is it the plain and simple reason of our media going the glamor way like Bollywood? No substance but a lot of showoffs?

Since when a rape has become a national news? Even though the act is condemnable with all severity and calls for exemplary punishment for the perpetrators; is it big enough to run it on primetime for a month long period? There are thousand rapes goes around the country and none gets the edge barring selected few. Just because a rape happened to be little high-profile (not sure how rapes can be categorized) and committed in the national capital region, it shouldn’t anyway be more heinous and shameful than the one that happened at the remote corner of Himachal Pradesh. How the rape of a rag picker in Dadar station is anyway different and less important from the so called white Maruti gang rape of Dhaula Kuan? But our media focuses on cases where mileage can be drawn and candlelight marches could be called for. Certainly a Prithivraj Chauhan won’t be needed to stand up before the cameras and explain the rape of Dadar station while Madam Shiela Dixit might just have to for the Dhaula Kuan incident as that is what our media houses want so that they can display their pseudo sympathy for the Northeast people. How can you use the plight of a woman to propagate your false propaganda and some nasty TRP?

Manslaughter is a heinous crime and must be dealt with iron fist. But not only the murder of Arushi Talwar, as our beloved media thinks to be. It is since a good two years the homicide committed but our media is yet to get rid of their hangover. The immaculate coverage was so minute that we ended up even seeing the recorded clip of the polygraph tests conducted on few of the many suspects. While it is an open-and-shut case, in all probability of being an honor killing nature, our media goes over the hill in narrating each and every step of what has, could and might or might not have happened that fateful night while criminalizing one individual or the other every second day. That is overdoing, more than the veracity of the dissatisfaction of Ishant Sharma after getting bowled as if he is at par in techniques with a certain Rahul Dravid. Why can’t our media leave the dead at ease and let the law takes its course and concentrate on other murders happening in hundreds across the nation; if covering murder stories at minute level is that all left for our vibrant media to accomplish? If so then why not focus on the murders that is going around under the thick wrap of political vendetta? Why not highlight the murder of that honest forest officer who stood up to defend the wildlife going to the poachers? Why only concentrate on Arushi, just because your studios are in and around NOIDA, you can’t just run around with a camera to feed us with how many people sneeze on daily basis in Delhi. This is again overdoing the duty of nation protection when you leave bigger scavengers aside and cover petty cases as if your lives hang in balance.

As if having rustic content is not good enough an irritation, then look at the amount of paid news that goes around in our media. Pioneer in selling themselves and their moral is a certain broadcaster named NDTV. Not only NDTV but every media in India is sold to one political party or the other. While media should remain as neutral as Manmohan Sing is towards Hindu’s plight, we rather see them getting their hands dirty in vindictive politics. Everyday NDTV runs a program or two on the wrong (as minimal as petty corruption in the state government offices) that is going in Gujarat while conveniently forgetting the starving and jobless of Andhra Pradesh. A fart of Rahul Gandhi is showcased as a decisive accomplishment towards the national growth and a game changer moment while successful implementation of Sarva Sikshya Aviyan in Karnataka is no big achievement. ‘Muslims have the first right to natural resources’ is a path breaking statement towards uniting India while Narendra Modi offering prayer in the neighborhood temple is communal. Debates are organized in dozens to argue if Apex court’s virtual clean chit to Modi is justified or not but no debate on what Rahul Gandhi (front runner in protecting the nation from evils like Modi, Mayawati, Hindus, Saffron terror, Temples, BJP and RSS) was doing when nation was getting looted in the name of CWG. A cracker going off in some corner is the onset of the biggest danger for national security in the form of Saffron terror while in rest, real terrorisms seems to have nothing to do with any religion whatsoever. The examples are in millions which are materialized vehemently to get that non-deserving Padma award while genuine and honest journalism can go for a walk.

Why our media always takes up the negative trait? Why there is a close nexus between outright foolishness and our media houses? Why all that matters for the nation like poverty, hunger, low literacy rate, female feticide are never in the radar of our media that often than what petty issues of local importance are? Need some change there in a hurry as media is not there to take sides or get biased but to show news as it is. No manipulation, fabrication or modifications. Shouldn’t it?

Our Democracy At The Crossroad

2012-01-27T08:29:00.013+05:30

Didn’t we have our 63^rd Republic Day yesterday? Didn’t we again rejoice it like Kenya cricket team after beating Pakistan in the World cup? Didn’t we get our chest impelling hard after seeing our lion hearts strutting through the Janpath, harder than what we used to have after seeing a mini skirt clad girl in a mall? Didn’t our drunkard politicians caught licking their lips feverishly at the very mention of the state’s name when Goa’s Tableaus passed through the Salami Manch? And last but not the least, didn’t we get pissed off after seeing our brave hearts saluting a lady so disgracing to be the chief of our armed forces; more so when she supplanted a true son of the soil like A.P.J.Abdul Kalam?

Now that we succeeded in hoodwinking ourselves once again with that deceitful sense of patriotism; (a blog of mine on last year’s Republic Day getting the maximum hit yesterday) won’t it be only appropriate that we should pause for a moment and introspect if we really need to celebrate so rapaciously after deceiving ourselves once again and that too for 63 years on the trot?

I am not going the route where many dispute it to be not the real Republic Day but otherwise since a certain gentleman named Jawaharlal Nehru efficaciously managed to sell his snake oil to the nation a good sixty three years back. That’s a controversy best be left unobstructed as it might just amount as an insult of our constitution (even if it is snake oil) and I don’t ineludibly fancy to be at the wrath of downright worthless and hopeless creatures like Kapil Sibal.

That said, the paramount question still need to be asked today – have we really achieved what we should have in the sixty three years of our official egalitarianism? A figure of a third of us going to bed famished every day and the basic human necessities are far away from a major section of our populace for sure makes the likely answer to be a big NO. Has the constitution, the realization of which we celebrate through this majestic parade, has served the nation as it was envisaged to? Not either. The false notion of ‘Equality To All’ that we are told our constitution vouches from page one to page last is least being seen orchestrated which speaks volume of the misnomer between what was promised and what is delivered. Those who beg to differ on this point be advised to scavenge through the history and figure out, how many politicians till date are taken to task by our law for their nefarious acts and match it against the many of those who are languishing in jail for stealing a kilo of rice, because seeing their kids starving was too backbreaking to tolerate. Where the hell is the equality here? Kalmadi after looting the nation with both his hands and legs was allowed to move free where a poor revenue stamp seller packed behind bars for two years for selling the same as he doesn’t had the adequate authorization to do so.

And Boy, what about the first preamble of our constitution where it starts with ‘We The People’? Where the hell are these people whom the constitution was dedicated to? We don’t see them anywhere anymore. Do we? What that we instead see is the lot least on the radar of our politicians (our constitution thrust them upon us), politics, democracy or even governance are the same people which our constitution coined as supreme and owner of the state. People’s voices were never accounted on Jan Lokpal as it went against a certain Rahul Gandhi’s so called game changer ideas and the dirty tricks department worked overtime to show the middle finger to the wishes of the same people who perhaps made them win their elections. The same people are vehemently termed as antinational and unpatriotic if they persist with their uncomfortable questions. And what we hear if we still persist with our demand for answers? Ornamental nonsense like ‘Elected and Electable’ from clowns like Manish Tiwari who any given day could be a huge casualty for human thought process. Where the hell is ‘We The People’ and when they were last taken seriously, if it is not election time?

Leave aside the constitution and the unimplemented proselytization laced in it. Look at the day-to-day manifestation and subversion of democracy that is more rampant than the number of rapes in Delhi. People devote a fortune and fight for donkey’s years for justice and what they get in their hands at the end of the day? Criminals like Vikas Yadav and Manu Sharma have their temporary parole applications hopping the queue with showering of some non-required out-of-turn courtesies to let them have their time for merrymaking, only to be apprehended again when media houses play images of their strong affinity towards honoring all the pubs in the city. Petty politicians were seen slapping one and all if their demands are not addressed at the earliest. Be it the Bank Manager who refuses to approve a false loan or that honest election official who refuses to budge and sticks to the rule book. All were manhandled by our pathetic political class well in front of the cameras and yet been taken to task for such act of hooliganism. Honest people like Satyendra Dube and Sanmughan Manjunath lose their lives on daily basis for showing respect to the very constitution and we are long from punishing the scoundrels of the crime yet.

Look how competent our democracy and our constitution is when it comes to protecting itself. A joker with his team and bosses sitting across the border not only planed to attack the very emblem of our republic but managed to execute it and we were left to fend for answers and a decade down the line look more confused than a toddler in a topless bar. We lost few of our brave-men in the process but their deaths are yet to be accounted for. If the attack was not a shame good enough, look how we have acted against the perpetrators. The mastermind of the vendetta is still enjoying our hospitality in Tihar while we run around like headless chickens and throw some never heard ‘First-Come, First-Serve’ tantrums. This is how strong our foundation blocks are, which are in all probability even weaker than the CWG stadia. Appeasement for votebank takes center stage even in matters involving national security and national pride and we end up becoming a laughing stock all over the world. Where is our justice system with that never executed statement ‘Justice delayed is justice denied’?

The examples are many. But yet we celebrate our foundation day so colorfully which would even scare the daylight out of the Rio Carnival organizers. What are we celebrating and for which credible reasons? For going exactly tangent to what we are dictated to follow by our constitution perhaps.

On a lighter note; can’t we have a Tableaus passing the parade with people like Karuna, Lalu, Mulayam, Achutanandan, Deve Gowda, N.D.Tiwari, Kalmadi, Madhu Koda, A.Raja, Pashwan, Mayawati, Digvijay Sing on it or are these guys reserved to go straight to the museum? And dear Election Commissioner, can we for once demand for a more realistic Tableaus next time showing electoral candidates offering free liquor to the voters while the ruffians surrounding them instead?

The Oprah Orgasm

2012-01-25T18:25:00.010+05:30

I am not against indorsing our Tourism ministry’s evangelization of “Atithi Devo Bhaba”. It is the irregularity in the enactment that concerns me to a great degree and makes me giggle for the rest. Aren’t we the same set of people who rape a hapless foreign traveler in our Taxi while ferrying her from the Airport to a nearby hotel while at the same time we cocker-hook a lot the moment a so called luminary from the west puts his/her ass in the flight bound to our part of the world? Why we are not that fervent for “Atithi Devo Bhaba” while we encroach upon the poor unknown individual for no ostensible reason? How our gauge of hospitality shifts dramatically at the sight of a so called celebrity flummoxes me a bit.

I am all for being exultant at the arrival of a guest at the doorstep, as it is about time that we change the perception of INDIA being used as an acronym for ‘I Won’t Do It Again’. But going over the hills as if we all are blessed with a grandson each is a little too much for digestion. Sorry Hajmola, you were of no help either.

Look at how we behaved like complete insane when a certain Oprah Winfrey came here last week. For the passé she stayed here our so called clownish media kept us appraising every bit of info that can possibly be shared of the lady. Except what she has put as in underwear, rest all is being gaged through our throats, as if we as a nation collectively have got nothing better and imperative to do. From her sojourn at the Taj; to her so called chit chat with the individuals on the street. Everything was aired as if otherwise people would have filed millions of RTI applications to get hold of the info later. From how she loved the Puri-Bhaji combo in the morning to her distinct liking for Mumbai Pani-Puri; we even were lucky enough to be suckled with that also. And yes, we were also told, just because Oprah decided to cloak one, how our very own Saree was honored to a level that would even force Vatican to drop something called sainthood. If any stone was left unturned by our media, individual soft porn writers like Sobha Dey did the rest when they kept on twitting (even when they were in the loo) their set of information till a point Blackberry CEO said ‘That’s It’. I am quitting my job.

Now the query is why we are so theatric at the arrival of a guest from outside? Making the guest feel like being at home is treasured but to cross the line of self-respect and start acting as if we have only found our identity in the world map now since this celebrity came here and shit in one of our posh hotels, is way too much. These reactions become more annoying when a majority part of our population care rat’s posterior for one Oprah Winfrey as a starter and even less, whether she visits India or not. So why such Hullabaloo for a person who cease to be nonexistent for a nation like ours where there are far more serious things to debate and ponder upon? How in earth the lady’s visit and her subsequent hobnobbing with Bolywood double entrants would help the commonalities who are still recouping from the stinker from Australia? How in earth it affects me as a creature who really hates people with big asses? How in earth it would make any difference to all if she is the one who would familiarize Amitab Bachhan’s granddaughter to the world or for that matter the disseminated snapshot of Anupam Kher alongside her and aberrantly looking at something else he strictly shouldn’t? I mean why the hell in the daybreak the first thing my newspaper would greet me, is with the news of Oprah Winfrey’s indebtedness on our family and traditional values? Didn’t I know this before? Did you say I would be sentient only because Oprah said so?

Even if Oprah is putative to be the reincarnation of lord Vishnu to troupe upon us and will remind us of our true values; it would still be pleasant if someone from the ‘Oprah will mesmerize’ unit could intricate her precise contribution towards India? Has she done anything tenuously vivacious for us that we should lose our collective shit by the very mention of her name?

People like Barkha Dutt are a notch ahead when it comes to shameless display of identity crisis and pioneer at self sodomy. In one of her cozy interview sessions at Jaipur Litfest she was seen almost undulating on the floor sniggering on the gags cracked by Oprah on India, Indians, our traffic lights, our driving sense and hell even our farting style. While most of the utilitarian lot would find Oprah’s comments more than just repugnance, strangely clowns like Ms.Dutt heavily encumbered with that grubby colonial mindset find it otherwise. They even find humor in the insult of the nation just because a certain Oprah Winfrey inflicted those insults. Can’t have a better example of us as a nation being badly bitten by that impudence bug.

I am not sure if people in USA would be wetting their pants laughing when encountered with a joke from SRK cracked on Americans, their nonexistence family values, the number of porn movies they make or even their strong affinity towards war. SRK apprehended at the Newark airport or A.P.J Abdul Kalam being searched at Boston and the response to our celebrities in that part of the planet is complete. On a second thought; no qualms on what happened to SRK. The traitor deserves this for obvious reasons.

Hope we would resurrect ourselves to at least a level where we won’t cogitate ourselves to be so browbeaten that an individual with some kind of celebritydom would elevate us to grander pinnacles by just paying a visit to our country. We are a great nation of our own in every sense, which also includes being genuinely, warm towards our visitants but that doesn’t mean we laugh at the jokes or experiences cracked by the celebrity which more or less insults our nation and national ego at large. By the way, I hope Oprah in her next show would talk about the new found beggars of the Wall Street and let us have some laugh by cracking some nauseating jokes, much the way she joked at the Mumbai Traffic signal vendors. In the meanwhile, please someone take this lady Barkha Dutt out of air. She is rapidly looking like a eunuch in a marriage party and in all sense pissing me off.

The Shoe That Caught India Off-guard

2012-01-24T07:40:00.007+05:30

Admonish Muntadhar al-Zaidi who thought this just another affectionate way to let know the ecosphere how he was pissed off with one dogmatic leader and clinched it apposite to hurl his shoes at George W Bush Jr. When I have all freedom to postulate him for such act of vehemence, I should also congratulate him in all inviolability and mature sense of observation at the same time; for he just did the right thing when he decided to shame one and all gold medal winners of the shooting range. That said, I must also censure him for encouraging a large section of Indians to follow his foot steps and repeat the manifestation once in every fifteen days and hurl their footwear at our political class. Well not entirely political though as Yoga Gurus have their fair share of the treatment as well.

Over a period of last couple of years since the black leather just missed Bush by a hairsbreadth we saw from Advani to Omar Abdhulla; from Naveen Jindal to Sachin Pilot; From Suresh Kalmadi to Chidambaram; all were been at the receiving end of this All-India shoe hurling parishioners. While almost all political parties (OK I should have articulated colony of clowns. My apologies) are floundering in the dark for reasons to accredit such felony of extreme human expression, I see a trend in that. The trend is simple but self-explanatory – our so called middle class has concluded that they haven’t gained anything from the political class in the last 65 years of liberation and it is time that such vindicated repugnance is made public. Charlatan politicians who were always seen pander in looting one and all are finally getting their share of recompense in the form the general mass knows best to pay back and amazingly yet the wags fail to see the bold writings on the wall. If the message were not too clear yet to our political class, then the latest shoe hurled at Rahul Gandhi in Dehradun, just cassatas the underneath vehemence beyond any distrust.

Not only the shoes which are drumming the headlines. There are instances of odd slaps been executed with some profanity. The notable among the many are the couple that landed on Sarad Pawar’s cheeks. While many (including me) could argue this latest attempt at public humiliation being just befitting and long due, it still can’t take away the underneath impatience that is plundering the middle class. In revolt, the Chelas of the world can go on a rampage on the roads all the while stoning few private vehicles or burning few state transport corporation buses and call for a Bandh or two; Sreesanth can sob his way to his hotel room but one can’t certainly write off the wrapped fact entirely – A Slap speaks louder than thousand words.

Now that plentiful shoes and slippers are squandered in the process, can we brush them aside as an act of a disturbed mind and move on? Well we can if we are too scared to look at the real reasons for such distasting acts. The resentment within all that they are time and again hoodwinked by our political class and time and again backstabbed for their innocence is the primary reason for such rejoinders. The amount of loot that is going around while half of the nation struggle to arrange a decent square meal per day are just examples of few of the many reasons which are getting stored as molten lava within everyone. That includes you and me, the so called educated and a little bit affluent class. While we seldom bother for the starving mass we certainly fume like a pregnant Cobra when we see our hard earned money being poached very tersely by a handful of scoundrels.

Everything that been touched by the Government in the name of some developmental work, our money is siphoned more conveniently than Aussie bowling lineup rolling over our batsmen. Such acts become more frustrating when one can’t do much beyond than asking for facts through RTI. Truth be told, the RTI answers angers more than otherwise as the road after that for an average individual is all but close. Rs 4000/- per toilet roll will what the RTI on CWG price chart would greet you. While one would scuffle greatly to digest, how in earth the tissues can cost so much unless it is laced with gold strings, there isn’t much one can do either. While clowns laugh their way to the banks we lesser mortals search our cupboard to get hold of the worst torn out pair to be used as a projectile when a chance is offered.

This discrete helplessness to act authoritatively against the burglary bursts out like a volcano at the very appearance of the looter on public platform. As all are not lucky like the Shrud to reach close enough to land that much awaited slap, the rest resort to act from a distance and boy doesn’t the shoes come handy in this endeavor? The only weapons which even the security agencies can’t deny one to carry turns out to be the common man’s answer to USA’s Scud Missiles.

So rather side kicking the truth, it is time for some realization. Realization that there is enough anger within the common populace. Our cunning political class must introspect than questioning the real motive and hurling political punches at their rivals for stage managing it. These are not just the slippers which are hurled but a sign of revolt. Revolt against all that wrong been long inflected on the citizenry for no apparent fault of theirs. Revolt against the collective loot going on since Pundit Nehru cracked that coconut at the foundation ceremony of Bhakra-Nangal dam. Revolt against that never heard three lakh millions of our money stashed in banks of various countries whose names I was not aware few months back. In nutshell – Revolt against the colony of highway robbers that fill the majority of chairs inside our parliament.

On a second thought, when a third of our population can’t have enough on their plates to eat, the least our political class should accomplish is to eat some torn out slippers at times as a show of solidarity. Shouldn’t they?

Fatwa - What The Hell Is That?

2012-01-21T22:48:00.022+05:30

I am asking this with some conviction and of course for a reason. The question becomes more imperative when I see Muslim clergy across the globe issuing one Fatwa or the other at the drop of a hat and call for the ban of one thing or the other or even worse encourage taking someone’s life or hurl slippers at someone in reward of some prize money.

Be it against any book which has the remote mention of the letters I, M, Q, P and A or even against the undergarment manufacturer if the garment doesn’t carry their balls properly; there is always a Fatwa for the taking. The application of such call for violent and unethical action, has such wide range of reasons against humans, gays, lesbians, books, dogs, cats, pigs, television, internet, sports, yoga, national flag, national anthem and but limited to even Bande Maataram. In nutshell; to be rather generic it seems there is a problem with almost everything under the sun. Now one wonders if there is any minimum threshold outlined in the holly book which should demand for such fifteenth century activity.

A little Googling throws some stimulating relics. One of them is – ‘All that which is against Islam or against the proselytization of the holy book can be so called Fatwaed’. If that so then the usage of Fatwa becomes more bothersome. Looking at the number of Fatwas that been dispensed till now, in all probability it looks like everything that you see around you, both living or otherwise are against Islam. That is a very dangerous precedence when the entire globe; dogs, cats, pigs included, bundle up to machinate against a particular religion. It could be contrived but I just can’t help myself asking; if it is a case where we see the entire world has a nasty vendetta against a particular religion or is it the other way? Because as far as I am concerned – ‘The whole world can’t be wrong’. If you feel every second peripatetic person on the street has some hidden agenda against you and a threat to your religion then you have some serious problem with yourself mate. I would rather advise you to Look within and rectify yourself than issuing Fatwa against every third human, second book and fourth animal.

For starters, just look how a section of our society lost its collective shit; no sooner Salman Rushdie announced his intention of attending Jaipur Literary Fest. A lot of hawks spring into action quicker than Sarad Pawar at the prospect of some loot money and Fatwas were issued left-right-and-center. Knives were out before even Rushdie could complete the word ‘Literary Fest’ in his Tweet. Threats were hurled at some alarming speed and a clownish lot went ahead asking the government to revoke Rushdie’s VISA. Lot of hot air was blown and a lot of public farting accomplished. And hell, all this for what? Because the author of perhaps the most contentious book ever written wanted to pay a visit to his country of origin, which he has done quite a number of times after the ban. It was really funny. Well funny could be as less a comparison as Highway Robber to Suresh Kalmadi though.

While the latest revolt against Rushdie is bizarre, the beginning of this abhorrence against this man was a bigger bizarre. The first time I was honored to hear the word Fatwa was when Salman Rushdie was slapped with one for writing something called Satanic Verses. The accusations that time were grave. He was alleged to have insulted Islam, Muslims and Prophet himself, all-in-one go by just writing the book.

Even though, how fair it is to conclude Rushdie’s blasphemy for his literary work is questionable, the reaction of the Muslim community across the globe back then, without even caring to read a single page of the book is for sure facetious. Forget the book, even those who might not have seen how the cover of the book looks like were seen all over the place and burning effigies of Rushdie perhaps without even knowing who this bloke Rushdie is. This very act of following the mob without knowing why you are following at the first place is little macabre. That said I am not against any kind of opposition or objection. But there is a clear difference between objection and outright Mafiosi. I am all for, people having difference of opinion and being allowed to voice their concerns, suggestions or objections without anyone of the rest were getting prejudiced. I am all for people agreeing to disagree with grace and mutual respect. But to go ahead and have such strong opinion that you call for someone’s life looks a little codswallop. Stone-age scoundrels like Ayatollah Khomeini didn’t do any good either to the community when they woke up one morning and announced a million dollar booty for anyone who takes down Rushdie. So much detestation for someone just because according to you he insulted a holy book which in all likelihood would be talking about peace and tolerance? Doesn’t it look a little out of place when the jokers who think themselves as the only set alive and custodians of the book don’t even know what the book has written all over it? Rascals who doesn’t have any respect for life, bigmouth about religion and religious sentiments? That is crazier than Prativa Patil as president of India.

Tashlima Nasreen’s Lajja went through the same fate as she did the exact cardinal mistake of writing about all that could be wrong in Islam. The lady was chased out of Bangladesh and had to run around half of the subcontinent to convince one and all of the cavemen to just read her piece before reacting like starving Hyenas. Her effort turned futile quicker than Jugal Hanshraj’s Bollywood career as none of the idiots agreed to listen to what the lady has to say in her defense. No wonder the poor woman is still living under the cloud of fear and apprehension, and at the same time is been forced to ping-pong between Dhaka and Kolkatta.

Now that a lot of water has already passed under the bridge since these two instances first rock the literati world; we should pause for a moment and ask a very un-parliamentary question – What is this business of banning books and thirst for someone’s life is all about? If the so called perpetrator has committed a crime so loud against the religion that he/she deserves to be killed, then what about the hawks that run around advocating for free killing? I am sure no religion preaches about taking innocent lives. If the holy book which talks about peace and mutual respect is alleged to have been violated by an individual then how come the scoundrels enacting violence in the name of the very book can be tolerated? Won’t it only legitimate that who call themselves as the caretaker of the holy book but act exactly opposite to its teachings need to be eliminated first?; if killing happens to be the only solution for every goddamn difference of opinion.

Honestly, I am still to comprehend the whole idea of mutual hatred in the name of Fatwa. A person having a different opinion is not necessarily against you in the entire sphere. Even if someone is dead against you in all your acts and actions, it still no way justify warranting him to be killed. This is not at all something that can be coined religious. This is outright shamelessness and in clear violation of humanity, sensibility and in all probability against the values of every religion. Islam or for that matter any religion can’t be an individual or a section’s property. Islam is as dear to Khomeini as it possibly is for Rushdie. Criticizing the bad about one’s religion doesn’t make one sacrilegious but calling for someone’s life in the name of religion certainly is. Scoundrels galore or rather the cocooned clergy community must understand this. The scoundrels must realize that they perhaps are obligating a bigger insult to their own religion by running around with a dagger to take someone’s life than what the alleged writer, singer, painter, boozer, smoker and bullshitter possibly could have committed by his/her actions earlier.

A Looter Let Loose

2012-01-19T15:57:00.016+05:30

Now that Kalmadi was granted bail by Delhi High Court, our very own Doordarshan should do some community service. At least they should for next twenty four hours warn the citizens of a highway robber being let loose from the clutches of the law, and advise all of an imminent danger as he can strike anyone at any time without furnishing any kind of prior warning whatsoever. “Issued in Public interest”.

This is disgusting for a nation which has the maximum number of hungry people of the world as its constituents, see a collective loot of a flabbergasting amount of eighty thousand crore is systematically covered up with the perpetrator of the loot were allowed to walk free out of the jails.

That said I feel a country whose citizens care more for cast and religion than truth and justice; we deserve this. Now that it is yet again proved that in India looters would never be taken to task with the current set of frameworks, all those who were vehemently opposing Anna and his movement must send flowers to Kalmadi and his cronies for walking out free from Tihar.

Isn’t this shameful when we can’t provide basic facilities like schools, hospitals, community centers, a fool proof grievance redressal platform and many more to our people but yet allow individuals keep on looting the exchequer in the tunes of thousands of crores? If that is not enough, we even don’t act on the scumbags if we by mistake apprehend one of them. We creep a lot about the burden of the financial implication if we have to implement the much needed food security bill. We can’t support our research undertakings as we are told we are running short of funds. We can’t doohickey Right-To-Education in every corner as the money needed to accomplish such herculean task is not with us. We can’t provide bulletproof jackets to our police personnel as the money required to buy such frivolous (as per the government) stuff is too big to afford. We are not able to purchase night vision glasses for our soldiers as the defense ministry is already running short of money. We can’t provide thousands of ours villages an electricity connection, a tap for drinking water or even feeding our starving kids as the cost would be too high to implement. Hell even we can’t build toilets for our girl students in our schools which will ensure a rise in the female literacy. But at the same time expediently allow clowns like Kalmadi to make merry on the pilfered crores of rupees, which otherwise could have been used to accomplish at least few from the above list getting implemented. Perhaps no words of dictionary could possibly describe such larceny and the hypocrisy that is following it for last one year or so.

We are also a set of great actors. Aren’t we? A lot of hot air was blown by one and all when the loot was first detected by a private news channel. But little did all know that time, that it was just the millionth part of the tip of the iceberg that we now know by CWG. The biggest of the hot air came from our own Prime-minister as part of his standard oration that follows immediately after a loot is unearthed. “Culprits won’t be spared”. Really? Now that Kalmadi is a free man, Dr.Sing need to explain, what precisely he meant when he said culprits won’t be spared. And please we are already fed up more than an average prostitute of MG Road to hear the same pathetic lines once again – ‘Law is taking its course, but we assure you all, finally justice would be done.’ This is bloody exactly similar to the act and actions of that Palika Bazar tout who not only swears by the genuineness of the RayBan sun glasses he wants to sell but also goes ahead handing over a forged guarantee certificate of authenticity. And yes we are equally fed up of hearing how you were unaware that Kalmadi was shitting profusely under your own chair till it stared stinking. This is a more bizarre excuse than what the captain of the already sunk Italian cruiseline had to offer after getting arrested for running away well before the ship could sink but explain it to be complete unintentional as he didn’t ran or rather swim away but just toppled from the top deck when he was dangerously leaning below to take a stock of the situation. If someone is aware of any better reasons to issue shoot at sight orders, then please let me know.

For a change this time we need some straight answers to our questions. As a starter, what the hell our grossly inept and indolent CBI was doing all this while? If the courts in their own wisdom had to let Kalmadi take his ass off from the hot fry pan; it is because of our investigating agencies failed despondently to link the dots and frame any credible ground against the muggers. Nine months after the fat elephant was caged, we are back at the square one because our premier investigative agency is either full with exceptionally incompetent people, who can’t even go about doing their jobs professionally or are been guided by the powers that be, all through to make a mess of the investigation so that the real big fishes on the affray are never exposed. In any whichever reason, it is time the whole CBI team is paraded atop wild donkeys with appropriate size Chappal garlands in each city center of India and be slapped left-right-and-center as an effort towards public humiliation. The whole CBI is a bloody official scam that is going since independence where we see it is been used by the ruling party, either for their personal gain or to beat the shit out of formidable opponents like Narendra Modi. Anna Hazare was bang on the skull when he said an institution like CBI can’t be under any government as they are equally lethargic, corrupt, cunning and good for nothing like the government they are under. Looking at what our CBI did on the behest of their real bosses on the whole Kalmadi farce, Anna seems to have been vindicated on his belief against CBI.

The timing was little suspicious as well. Just when Pune, the constituency of Kalmadi is preparing to go for the civic election, Kalmadi was let lose to pounce upon the anti-Kalmadi Congress faction who were merrymaking until yesterday night for having a free hand for the first time. I pity those jokers as well. Fate shouldn’t be that rotten for anyone; which looks more rotten than our CBI officials landing in Copenhagen covered in overcoats like George Clooney to arrest Kim Davy but find the arrest warrant already expired. That was a unique marvel in the world of criminal investigation procedures which is only expected from CBI to accomplish. I am told, even Nepal investigating chaps rolled on the floor laughing. Coming back to Kalmadi's bail, the question remains; was this a master move from his party to throw this seasoned crosier back in action when the party is struggling greatly to remain stable in Pune? I hope people of Pune would issue some kind of Fatwa on this idiot and vow to slap Kalmadi at the very sight of him.

All-in-all, this is a bad day for us. Bad; not because Kalmadi was allowed to go out, but because, we yet again successfully covered up a huge public money looting burlesque. In connivance with the investigative agencies the crooked circle were yet again efficacious in enforcing their nefarious wish and thrust it upon us. A bad day, because it was proved beyond any qualms that in India scoundrels would never be acted upon as long as they have godfathers in the power circle.

By the way, I am still not able to digest; how in earth a goddamn toilet roll paper can cost Rs 4000/- when we can easily build a whole bio-friendly and portable toilet in the same price which can ensure the sanitation level increases in India. Or maybe the prices could be shooting up exponentially depending on the quality of ass it is destined to wipe.

A Night With The Homeless

2012-01-18T00:53:00.011+05:30

It is based on a real life experience….

The daily obscure phenomena called our jobs, our family, our pet, our game of Cricket where India loses more often than otherwise, our car which got a scratch, our geyser not working on a winter morning, our belittling towards the apathy of the Railways to serve us last year’s stale Daal or even our ever pertinent nagging wives; initiatives us to lose the focus on life. The real life where people fight day-in and day-out to meet their basics of survival. A day for many where it starts with a hope of having something to fill their starving stomach by day end and invariably ending with going to bed with exactly the opposite. A day or rather a night where there is nothing over their head to protect them from the excruciating winter that we well groomed feel too pinching, still being inside the comforts of our homes.

Have we ever thought about the millions of homeless who were forced to go through the unachievable task of dulling the ferocious mother nature with nothing much than a hope to survive the winter so that the spring can be a little less cruel? Perhaps not or else we would have already done something for them long back.

The persistent vouching of few media channels to come forward and help those who can’t help themselves, so that the winter goes a little easy on them; I made my bit of exploration to figure out how fair our news channels are when it comes to the plight of the poor or it is just another of those gimmicks where self exaltation and that false sense of déjà vu taking the better of the core ideology of execrating good for the needy.

A night of my adventure to beat the nasty cold at its own backyard, threw across many uncomfortable questions, both morally and in all literal sense physically as well.

On a blasé visit around the city pavements last week, I happened to meet a Rickshaw puller named Iqbal who dwells in and around the station area. Iqbal is from a place called Meerut in Uttar Pradesh and for last eight years had made the city of Pune his second home (without any home of course). On a derisory daily income of Rs 50/-; thanks to the rise in the number of Autorickshaws, he had to survive along with his wife and two kids. The pain and struggle to live another day was all but evident from the very appearance of his.

It was just Ten in the evening and the winter cold was already getting evident. A city like Pune which never had any record of unbearable cold was been thrown out of gear because of some unprecedented cold wave flowing across the north part of our country. A place where the night temperature was regularly going below seven degrees, it was all but uncomfortable to weather the brunt for a family of four who doesn’t have more than just a torn out blanket, donated by someone and less than half filled stomachs.

Iqbal had long parked his Rickshaw in the corner of the pavement which they call their home as no further income for the day insight. The sight of a tiny conflagration going in the middle with his wife and two kids surrounding it to keep a part of their body worm so that they don’t go numb was disheartening. Iqbal, looking around in a jittery to accumulate any abandoned piece of wood or paper so that the fire can be kept lit for as long a period as it can be. No food insight or no preparation to cook something for the night either.

After observing from a distance for a long time I finally did mustered enough courage to go near and try touching the most throbbing part of their sentiments. Have you eaten something? I finally asked. A vacuumed but all expressive eight yes looked at me with a mixture of hope, aspiration and in all probability hate as well. Did I asked something which I shouldn’t have? I wondered. NO - Breaking my thoughts; came a rough and stoned reply. My wife would be going to the nearby Gurdwara soon to see if she can find something to eat from the lunger; an equally stoned elaboration followed, which I am sure was never in want of any eloquence or articulation to justify the inherent pain and dejection laced with each word of it. If she doesn’t find anything? I finally asked after a brief deliberation. The silence that engulfed was suggestive enough of the helplessness of an eventuality that I just put forward.

Can I borrow you some food, I asked, not trying to be too politically correct. Accepting the favor from a complete stranger was not too comforting for the family it seemed. I persisted with my pledge which eventually made Iqbal agree to my offer. An Rs 100/- in his hand he almost ran towards the nearby eatery to pack some food for his already starving kids. The unmentionable details which I am confident the words would fail miserably to elaborate the satisfaction of having some food right in front of them to eat, should rather be left undetailed. I never disturbed the family in their dinner and went away for a smoke.

Just when I was about to move out, a gentle ‘Thank You’ from the stoned voice made me look back. I didn’t even tried to say ‘My Pleasure’, as I somewhere felt ashamed to say this to a fellow countryman of mine for whom the country, the government and most important all of us have done absolutely nothing. Perhaps Iqbal thought of opening his heart out to me on his suffering and plight against the favor of mine. Perhaps he wanted to pay back the debt the best way he can at that present moment. It took a good half an hour for him to elaborate his painful journey from Meerut to Pune via Delhi where he lost his only son due to the bitter Delhi cold. Let me not elaborate his other plights in detail as it not only would disturb me, but sure would disturb many others and as it is I don’t errand too much in interfering in someone’s privacy and pain. But overall the details were grossly disconcerting; let me assure you of that.

It was well into midnight when I left the family on the pavement and let them prepare to go to bed barely covering themselves in that torn out blanket. Well it is just a city pavement for all of us where as it is the very lifeline for Iqbal and many like him.

On my way back, what that crossed my mind was – can’t we the so called affluent of the society do something for them? Well the answer is a big YES. As a starter, can’t we donate our unused winter wears and blankets to those who don’t have anything to wear, let alone any warm wear? Our individual minimalistic effort may seem inadequate, but as they ‘HOW LITTLE IT MAY BE, WE CAN STILL MAKE A DIFFERENCE’. A difference where we can see our own men not at least dying of cold; just because they don’t have a roof on their head. Want to help? Below is where you can ping in. Please, we are not that inconsiderate; are we?

Concern India Foundation

240, MG Road

Camp, Pune

Landmark – Above V Mukesh & Company

Phone – 020- 41315326/32343942

Hungry India

2012-01-16T10:16:00.017+05:30

If you thought only Ramgopal Verma’s movies are scary, then let me change your perception right away. If the information makes you spill your morning tea then don’t blame me. Whom to blame, I would elaborate later.

According to the latest Global Hunger Index (GHI) at least 230 million of Indians go hungry daily. Hang-on, I am not done yet. 21% of our population are undernourished; nearly 44% of under-5 aged children are underweight with 7% of them die before they reach five years. If you feel that is it, then the answer is NO. There is more to follow. 72% of our infants are anemic with 52% of our young mothers are in the same anemic brigade. Roughly, in the world hunger index we are only better positioned against nations like Congo, Chad, Ethiopia, Burundi or Somalia while worse than Sudan, North Korea, Nepal or even Pakistan. Even though the infant mortality rate has decreased since 1990, there is actually a steady rise of hungry people in the same period. Honestly, whichever way we may slice and dice it to cover the bitter truth, the shameful realty is inescapable – India is home to the largest number of hungry humans, handsomely contributing a quarter of the estimated 820 million in the whole world.

If that is not enough a jolt, the bleaker scenario is the steady rise of malnourished pregnant women. Depriving the developing fatuous of its required amount of protein, in a way we are literally ensuring the birth of malnourished children to start with. So as a double whammy, we not only continue to allow people to go hungry and malnourished, which is not just a misery for them; it is also the future generations of India that is precariously hanging in balance.

Now that we have firmly established ourselves as one of the world’s most hunger-ridden countries; how we should celebrate the achievement? Perhaps shout in utter derision – “Superpower? My A@#”.

Whom to blame? There are many to be honest. First culprit in the list could certainly be our pathetic Public Distribution System (PDS). That said, the system itself is run by people and before blaming the framework we must pound hard on the thugs who are assigned with the task of smooth and fair implementation. And who is at the helm of PDS? No mark for guessing as it is the crook himself – Sarad Pawar.

Many might be remembering the disturbing footage doing the rounds on various news channels where food stocked in many FCI godowns were shown rotting with rodents making a merry or worse canines finding the nonchalantly spread of wheat and rice as a warmer place to lazy around. And what was the bloody excuse? There are some serious problem in supply-chain mechanism and lack of storage space. No wonder the disquieting footage made our Apex court to come heavy on our Agriculture and Food and Civil Supply ministry and ordered them to pull up their socks. I guess Sarad Pawar took the idiom in literal sense as was seen at the inauguration ceremony of IPL the next day putting on that complete mismatch of a red pair of socks, really pulled up. If those nasty pair of red socks were not enough befuddling for those searching for the half clad cheer girls; his reactions on Apex court order, certainly were. And what he has to say - ‘What our Apex court wishes is not possible and more off it is just an advice, not an order’. Really? Now you know Pawar Bhau, what it was when the Apex court again came heavier on you for childishly mistaking their order as a simple observation. By the way, I am convinced the slap of the Shrud on Sarad Pawar’s cheeks is more than just befitting.

For certain, people like Sarad Pawar don’t want the rotting wheat and rice to reach the plates of those million hungry, as it would disturb their greed. A fully functioning PDS would ensure that people like Pawar and his stooges lose heavy on the money they are garnering through their nefarious black marketing in the Marathwad part of Maharashtra. A freely available of goods in government authorized ration shops would virtually kill the avenue of highway robbery where cronies of him suck the living daylights of the poor of the region. Apex court can very well go for a walk, if that may require but we are not letting our loot options shut on our own face. After all we are leeches of some unique breed. Disgusting is just the appropriate understatement.

For a change let’s not blame the government here. With all honesty some steps are been taken by the central government to elevate the situation. The government already runs two of the world’s biggest nutrition programs: The mid-day meal scheme for students up to class 12^thand the Anganwadi program under which infants and children up to 6 years of age are given hot cooked meals. But are they sufficient? Are they far reaching? Both of them appear NO to me looking at the latest GHI index. The reason these two schemes not bearing fruits of that sweetness that we were expecting is because of the sheer loot that is going around the chain. There are instances where the food item designated for these schemes are shown palpably being sold on local Kirana shops. There are clowns in the chain who are shameless enough to loot the food designated for the hungry and syphon them to various grocery stores for personal gain. Even school teachers of the mid-day meal scheme are hand-in-glove with this loot. Now someone please standup and say, they don’t side with what Anna Hazare is demanding.

By the way, Uttar Pradesh happens to be the state where the maximum numbers of hungry people are found, as far as India is concerned. To add to it, the number has increased by a staggering 18% since Mayawati started building her own statues. The lady certainly deserves another 6 crore currency garland for this accomplishment. Or should we request another Shrud to do the honors?

Thundered Down-Under!!

2012-01-14T12:06:00.006+05:30

Dear Dhoni & Team,

First-thing-first, I strongly object to this torture of an entire nation in the hands of only eleven individuals and a country called Duncan Fletcher.

Honestly, I don’t write too much on cricket since there is nothing much to write about you guys as all your actions, reactions are pretty much clichéd barring instances where some excitement is thrown at us in the form of a slap or two on Sreesanth. But as they say the situation brings the devil out of an ordinary individual, like what happed with Phoolan Devi, I am here to write this piece of shit to inquire about your go-karting experience in Australia; thanks to some more than pathetic performance of you guys in the racist land.

Do you guys realize how tormented the entire nation is since you started this Agneepath (damn Star Cricket for coining this) series on Boxing Day? Do you guys realize how painful it is to wake up 5 in the morning during winter time to watch you guys play? And what we get in return? Middle finger from Virat Kohli? Really?

When you guys left our shores to concur the so called final frontier we were so excited for being tagged as the favorites. Now looking back to that analysis by greats like Arun Lal, I just want to slap Boria Mazmudar in the middle of the Howrah Bridge. Why frighten Boria for the analysis of Arun, you may ask? Because that idiot went ahead a step further and predicted an all but possible whitewash in our favor. Now that we are in the verge of turning that predication entirely on its head; someone needs to pay for big mouthing. And as it is, Boria on any given day can be slapped just for the volume level of his vocal chords. He is been tormenting an entire set of Times Now viewers since ICC world cup and it is time justice is done. Harbhajan Sing can take this responsibility of slapping Boria left-right-and-center once he is free from his advertisement assignments with Colors. After all he always wanted to make it big. Didn’t he?

Now coming back to cricket. What the hell is going there down under? To sum up your performance till now one can only say – “You guys were Molested in Melbourne, Sodomized in Sydney and Pounded in Perth”. Are these signs of a so called World champion team? More than the patchy performance which we viewers are accustomed to whenever you guys travel abroad, it is the swiftness of you lot to throw the advantage flummoxes me. When the match was more than just on our favor at Melbourne, we see a clueless captain with a heavy bankruptcy of ideas; let the last two pairs score close to a hundred runs. I guess most of you must have realized by now that we lost the test right there. Was that a strategy which went horribly wrong, much like the majority of Government policies or a genuine effort to prove the mega loss in England was not just a fluke?

If that was not enough, I see a lot of not so required Aapsi Bhagidari within the team think tank. Why there is a fear for change amongst you guys? Look at what that been allowed to continue failure after failure. Virat Kohli was given such a long rope that, even though his scorecard has got nothing much to show, he ended up showing his middle finger to the spectators, which also includes we rascals waking up cranky at 5 in the morning. Irrespective of him being the highest scorer in the first innings at Perth, I am thoroughly convinced; he shouldn’t have been given another chance. What happened to Rohit Sharma? Has he broken a thing or two? Even if I am sure Rohit won’t be much different to Virat when it comes to performance, at least he won’t show his middle finger. That is an outright bonus right there.

To go a little easy, the youngsters could be spared for their lack of experience (now someone please don’t argue, why then not spare Suresh Kalmadi for being inexperienced in arranging mega games), but what about our oldies lot? What our much touted batting lineup with an average age of 38 years doing in the park? Sachin eyeing his hundredth hundred while getting out in the mid-way, Very Very Special Laxman has long lost his specialty, and Boy, what to say about our wall. More than a handful of bricks seem to have fallen off the wall as he is getting castled every-now-and-then. Four times getting bowled this series is so un-Dravidish. Won’t you think this trio has long surpassed their expiry date? If an affinity for oldies is the flavor of our team, then also bring along Dada to the fray. At least he will torment less people than what he is doing by his commentary in Star Cricket. For God’s sake, why you can’t digest that people with age range starting late thirties don’t belong to a cricket field. Can’t we just call upon these three and thank them for their service and advise them to go fishing?

And honestly I don’t buy arguments like we don’t have right replacements for these greats. We never had right replacement for Lalbahadur Shastri either, but then we had entities like Devegowda to replace him. Didn’t we? And let me assure you, guys like Cheteswar Pujara, Ajinkya Rahane, Suresh Riana and Rohit Sharma or even for that matter Middle-Finger Kohli, won’t be that sharp in contrast to what Devegowda was to Shastriji. We can afford to lose few more tests with this new brigade than having old farts throwing the towel in the ring without even lifting their weapons. BCCI, are you guys listening or just too busy finalizing the cheer girl list for the upcoming IPL session?

That said, I don’t blame you entirely for the mess of a performance down under, which even would put Madhu Koda above in the performance index. Ravi Shastri has a great role to play in our downfall over the years. Now please someone don’t try to accuse me of being superstitious, as I am genuinely trying to. No sooner Ravi turns up to orate; we lose at least one wicket, invariably the better set batsman. A good bowling spell turns nightmarish as soon as Ravi says one of his standard lines – ‘The key is bowling in the right areas’. Why the hell adequate steps can’t be taken to ban Shastri from commenting, at least in matches involving India? Do a candle light march, signature campaign, revolution in Tahrir square or just slap Sreesanth once again or ask Rajdeep Sardesai to tweet the concern in one of his famous ‘Gnite’ tweets; do anything but just stop Shastri entering anywhere near 100 meters of the commentary box. I don’t mind if even Indian army is pressed into service to accomplish this tough job. Hasn’t he already tortured us beyond irreparable damage by his seer batting skills that we have to tolerate further? I strongly object to this torture also.

And for those of you who are losing their collective shit for Sachin not scoring his hundredth hundred. 99 centuries and highest of 94 after that. Isn’t that a great tribute to Sir Donald Bradman and his test average of 99.94?

Warm Regards & All the best

- Someone who won't ever get up 5 in the morning henceforth

Battleground Uttar Pradesh!!

2012-01-13T00:04:00.012+05:30

Now that the cow belt is going for poll, as expected we have more tantrums than focusing on real issues. The state which is most populous in India is at it again to choose yet another from the jokers lot to lead (read loot) them for next five years. When I say another, I no way suggested that the population won’t decide to continue with the present clownish colony which is looting, raping, cheating, hoodwinking and with all optimism governing them for last half a decade. Don’t believe me? Then just take your time and count the number statues of a living legend called Mayawati and how the number has long surpassed the number of schools and hospitals in the state put together.

So there are agendas beyond anyone can count to bring it to the citizens than just the 4.5% minority sub-quota that the Congress stalwarts are finding very convenient to orate in every damn political rally they get into. Watch out Mr. Salman Khursid, you already are in muddy waters.

The tumbling state of affairs when it comes to law and order of the state; the pathetic stature of the development index which in one and every way looks sorrier than the present touted Indian batting lineup; how the least basic facilities like good healthcare is far from reach for an average Paan chewing Upiet; the most number of malnutrition cases getting noticed, which are more frequent than Deepika Padokone switching her Boyfriends and the most evident proof of human psychic excellence where an ugly looking human building her own statues left-right-and-center overlooking the starving kids. The issues of concern are more than just plenty and handful. But sad enough, none that who are eyeing the biggest political pie this time are bothered enough to highlight these unholy facts but engaged in jingoisms that would even have Rakhi Shawant a healthy laugh on it.

From the very childish dictate of our CEC to cover all the dirt of the state to Rahul Gandhi’s marital status; we had all being discussed and thrown at us but the real issues which the least we as citizens expect to be debated in such elections are all but dumped in the nearest dustbin.

A closer look at the state and its standing, gives us no confidence in announcing it ever been governed by the guidelines of democratic frameworks. We still have a good 60% of the state who in all likelihood go to their bed empty stomach. We have a sorry looking police reform in the state where we find the so called public servants either beating a chained minor or a hapless lady before the full glare of the camera in a vindication of many that we would have become another China long back had we never had a rotten monkey on our backs called Uttar Pradesh.

Who is to blame for this? Is it the misrule of the hawks in disguise like Mulayam Sing Yadav or Mayawati? Or is it the general attitude of the people of Uttar Pradesh who never want to elevate themselves but love to migrate to places like Mumbai and get their asses thrashed black and blue by yet another set of scoundrels, we could have been better off without? Whom we should held accountable for the half-starved, half-necked and half educated populous of the state when we see almost all Prime-Ministers of our country being from there? When we see from Chachaji to Rajiv Gandhi; all belonging to a state where still half of its citizens would fail miserably while spelling their own state’s name correctly; we would struggle greatly to pinpoint at the exact blood sucking leeches that had sucked the shit out of the state and with all probability still sucking.

In a ghastly situation like this where the right to good governance of the citizens is farfetched, we need only look at the astounding collection of characters that are fighting their ass out this time to make a point in the upcoming polls. At the forefront of them is a college dropout, who never had anything but to utter the same lines time and again as if suffering from some classic case of mental instability. As a sign of belongingness, the person who has slept overnight in more Dalit huts than the different number of men Paris Hilton could have slept with; the person who would have been bitten more number of times (more times than Bangladesh possibly have been beaten in Test cricket) by those non-secular mosquitoes; need to answer some tough questions first before going on with his regular barrage of accusing one and all in every political gathering of his. First of them would be to let all of us know; in the period of last 65 years of our independence, which party has ruled for the maximum time in UP. Hence in the simple equation of mathematical expression, who should greatly be blamed for the disastrous position of the state? While he is seen busy questioning everyone but his own party for the mess in the state he must be reminded of his forefathers who pretty much did nothing to elevate the sorry picture of their own state which he fancies criticizing every time he is seen up in the stage with a bottle of mineral water.

Forget the bloody state. For a starter someone please slap him for the sorry state of his own constituency called Amethi. A dancing Bill Gates around the fire with Dalit women is not going to bring any kind of development, let alone a Microsoft development center.

If you think Rahul Gandhi is the worst case scenario then just hold your thoughts and look at the other marvels in the fray. Not to be left behind in jamboree and making democracy a family affairs the SP had their own Yuvraj, Akhilesh Yadav donning the mantle to defeat Rahul Gandhi on his own backyard of sickening politics. Boy, doesn’t he sound exact pretentious, vultureous and filthy like his opportunist father Mulayam? Even the bloody voice sounds so similar to that of the senior cunning fox? The same party which did nothing than filling their own notorious coffer the last time they were in power is questioning the loot of Mayawti? That is funnier than the choice of Devegowda as the Prime-Minister of India. Let me assure you the Yadav father-and-son duo of an imminent setback; bigger than the Dallal-E-Hindustan Amar Sing leaving you guys and moving on with his own collection of fabricated CDs. Half of your party men might well commit suicide, looking at the outcome, come March 6^th. As a suggestion for mental peace in the month of Tax paying, please leave aside your ego and be thankful to the almighty if Akhilesh himself manages to win his own goddamn legislative. And yes, we are not yet become America when it comes to elections. We seldom care glamour in our elections more than what ICICI bank cares for its customers and certainly a voluptuous Dimple Yadav can’t save you from a possible elimination. That said you can still try your luck with the ever notorious Abu Azmi’s daughter-in-law.

And boy, just look at the answers of Uma Bharti when asked about the bachelorhood of Rahul Gandhi. Ms. Bharti, was it more of a choice or there weren’t many who agreed to have a matrimonial alliance? By the way, why didn’t you just slap them in utter disdain if the later was the case?

What about Mayawati? Well for me, the statues always speak louder than words.

It Is Time The Muslims Make Their Stand Clear

2012-01-11T10:03:00.007+05:30

If the title of the blog sweeps you from your feet even by an inch then let me admit this; I can’t help.

You may ask what stand that I being an exemplary idiot possibly be talking about when half of the world is aware of it by the sheer number of terrorist activities, major portion of which are meted out by a particular community or bombs going off on random neighborhoods every now-and-then. You may also ask; The so called religion of peace (or piece if you want that way); which is too engaged in their Eighteenth Hundred century cocoon mentality where respect to human life is as minimal as a used condom; still needs to make their stand clear?. Let it be a bomb blast in each coroner of the world or a jackass finding it really enchanting to cover him/herself with a kilo of RDX and blowing his/her ass as a public display of affection towards that never confirmed 72 virgins (not sure what the female form are promised with) up there in heaven, if that really exists for mass killers. We always had their stand clear, which is to kill and get killed for no apparent purpose.

But to disappoint you; I am also aware of those unholy facts which surprisingly and reasons best known to some jokers of that community feel otherwise. Rather I am here to scribe what the religion of peace need to do so that we can conclude; whether we should call them seasoned hypocrites and opportunist or a rational bunch, which by the probability of remote conviction doesn’t look like.

For a starter, we just need a glance at the proposed visit of Salman Rushdie and the amount of controversy and objections surrounding it. Of all the people, it is the Deoband who suddenly woke up from their fulltime duty of giving regular Madrasa lectures and objected to the writer being given Visa to come to India. Really? And what the precise objection? We shouldn’t allow such a filthy man to touchdown on our land and shit on a cozy five star hotel washroom in Jaipur as he is alleged to have insulted the Islam; since he brought out some uncomfortable truth for many cavemen and the realty about the fifteen hundred year old rotten philosophy of hatred which few sets of scoundrels still love to follow at a time when man is contemplating to open free public toilets in Moon as we are running short of urinal space in our planet.

Now here is the question. Why should he be denied a visit his own country of origin? Just because he may or may not have insulted few, he can’t be denied of a legitimate right which every human possess; according to the international diplomatic guidelines; More so when I and many others as individuals want him to be here to talk about his writing experience. Hence we certainly won’t appreciate being sidelined, still being the part of a majority chunk. Just because a so called minority section doesn’t want to see the face of a half bald and bespectacled writer’s face, we literature lovers shouldn’t be denied an opportunity to see and hear the man himself talking.

That said, I am not objecting to the rights of protest for those Neanderthal species who doesn’t know a world beyond the leafs of that holy book. But the fact is, in a simpler mechanism – as the Neanderthal species have rights to protest, a similar notion equips the writers to write what they want as part and parcel of a package called freedom of speech and right to opinion. If you don’t like his writings or have objections to what he writes or had written then have your protest peacefully with some civility and let everyone know your dissatisfaction. But to call on the Government of India and demand the person’s Visa be cancelled is a little too much for comfort and acceptance. It is like an average thug of Delhi who can’t stand a statement on his nefarious acts and congregates his stooges to beat the crap out of the opinion maker. In a democratically run nation things doesn’t materialize this way which the Neanderthal species must digest; provided they are aware of something called democracy and democratic frameworks.

This volatility in mental stability of few raises another question. If the writings of Rushdie were gauged beyond gullible doubts of anti-religious centric and an outright act of blasphemy, then where were the same sets of jokers when M.F.Hussain did pretty much the same to hurt the sentiments of the other religion? None at the present shouting lot was seen objecting to the idiot’s sinister attempt at molesting his own community. Rather the same entities were seen questioning the actions of RSS and others to chase away the clown out of this country. Is this by any chance is a display of double standard, if may I ask? You can’t have a double opinion on something depending on the situation that suite you. Hussain acting funny is an act of creativity while Rushdie getting cranky is blasphemy? No, I seriously object to this liberty of having your Samosha and eating it too.

Now the time has come for the brotherhood to stand up and come clean on things which are long been covered up under some pseudo secularism or even funnier statements like ‘Terrorism has no religion’. Muslims apprehended while planning to blow their own asses in a busy street shouldn’t have the religion tag attached but the same advocates of secularism won’t even wink their eyelids before terming a Diwali cracker going off somewhere as an act of Saffron terrorism. This apprehension is more absurd than Kapil Sibal’s earth shaking theory of zero loss in 2G. It is time the sane chunk of the community comes forward and agrees to believe and walk side by side with the twenty first century world on a journey forward.

Religion is a matter of self-belief and at no point it should be laced with your malicious intention of self-greed and conviction. Public display of affection for your religion through the acts of blasting yourself or killing innocents doesn’t make you more religious but barbaric, which demands an immediate elimination of you so that the rest of the planet can live in peace. Religion teaches us to be tolerant; not to issue Fatwas just because we don’t agree to someone’s views. Religion is too powerful to survive itself without uncultured trolls defending it. If a religion can’t survive few criticisms then there is something grossly wrong with the core ethics of it and rather been engaged in killing innocents to show that one-upmanship, the set of jokers should put their efforts to resurrect the missing links within.

Hope some sense would prevail. And by the way, Rushdie is coming and I am looking forward to hear him in the literary fest.

Nasty North Indians !!

2012-01-09T23:34:00.016+05:30

Dear Northies,

I am restricting to Northies as every time I write “North Indians”, a one horn Rhino is poached in Kajiranga National Park. Hence it is the easy short-form, complimenting your rowdy existence in this planet. That said, I would have dearly loved to scribe “Nasty Northies” to start with but that is reserved for the later part of the blog.

When recently asked by a magazine to write about the socio-cultural behavior of India as a whole and different zones in particular, I argued, they are quite similar in cultural and behavioral perspective provided you take the NORTH part of our country out of it. Except the scumbags and their rotten mentality hovering up there in north, all zones are not much different from each other, I added. Please be aware, here I am excluding the Sikhs, who according to me are the finest cult but for the rest rotten baggage – ‘You guys are a stinking disgrace to India, Indians and humanity as a whole’.

I know your hybrid so called Mona Punjabi blood might be boiling by reading the first few lines and before you guys kill or get killed or even go ahead raping your own sisters out of rage, let me show you the mirror along with few tight slaps on both your cheeks and point all the nasty artifacts that majority of you Northies carry. Here at least three reasons which should make any sane individual to go on a long hibernation but not you guys because you are that rare species called uncultured and shameless Northies. Here I go….

Money Is Everything: - Wonder to which level you guys can stoop to for money? I would be the last person who would be surprised if you end up trading your own mother, sisters and other female members of your family for the same. The most important relationship for majority of you scumbags is money. The money is laced into your gene from the day you transform yourself from that one sperm to a life cell. The moment you are out of the womb, the proud father gets busy with his calculator on how much he can gain monetarily if you happen to be a male or how much he had to shed away if you happen to be a female. The mother also does her bit of calculation even if she is going through that immense pain post a caesarean delivery.

That is how ugly you guys are when it comes to money. Even your newborns are a profit/loss statement for you creatures. Hang-on before you come up with your explanation which would again be as pathetic in nature as most of your other actions are. You guys are so money starving mongrels that you even don’t hesitate to ask your daughters to formulate false propaganda against their husbands and in-laws so that a hefty amount can be bargained from the poor family in exchange of that so called mutual divorce. Even your daughters’ matrimony is a money making extravagance for you guys. You would certainly love to hear the technical term of this act – legal prostitution. My apologies to the prostitutes, who at least sell themselves and their daughters openly, unlike you crooked set of rabid entities. That said, I shouldn’t blame you guys entirely for this sickening affinity towards money. You guys were brought up like that and this phenomenon had long gone deep inside your genes. Certainly your forefathers quite deservingly should be blamed for this as when they had to migrate to India during partition as refugees; they had nothing with them other than a pair of dress and a lota. Alienated from the roots and struggling with a strong identity crisis, it was always money that they latch onto like filthy leeches. So it’s not your problem you Karim’s loving piece of shit, the problem is with your lousy family hierarchy.

Let’s get down to the easier task. Did you guys ever cared to figure out the looter in each of you? Ever (Which would be proved beyond doubt with a single glance at an average auto rickshaw driver of Delhi)? Or the traitor gene that you guys seems to possess? If not then just scavenge the history a bit and you would find your forefathers licking Mughal posteriors for personal gain and selling the motherland in exchange of treasure and asking their women to sleep with the Mughal officials. So that’s where your lineage comes from; from a colony of seasoned bootlickers and traitors. So selling your women and motherland for money is nothing new for you and certainly an attribute that you guys have mastered in since ages. You were selling your female members a thousand years ago and you are selling them now with a little sophistication.

Criminal Mentality: - One wonders what came first, Northies or criminality and criminals. To delight you a bit my dear Northies, I have already written to Oxford and requested them to change the word Criminals to ‘NORTH INDIANS’ so that the appropriate credit could be meted out for such tireless efforts of decades. To start with, could any of you vacuumed brains please answer – if there are more road accidents in Delhi per day or more rapes? Times Of India could be the biggest beneficiary of your affinity towards crime. At least three pages of TOI are reserved every day to describe all the rapes that happened in Delhi the day before. Why you guys are so filthy and stinking with your social skills? Why an average Bunty of each household is either behind bars for molesting or raping a woman and his father arranging money for the bail or seen deeply engaged in a road rage after a good bottle down? And how come you guys get so inebriated with foreign grog that you don’t mind running over sleeping daily wage laborers just like that? The joker called Sanjeev Nanda is just the testimony to bring you all India Gate roaming jokers to the realistic world.

Now keep that peg of whisky that you are presently accompanying and sharing with your father sitting beside him and enjoying a rape scene of Prem Chopra on TV; and listen to me. Have you ever wondered about the animals within your neighborhood in the form of a colony of undereducated jackasses which fill most part of Haryana? What the hell is that Khap that you guys take so proud of? Since when it has become an honorable act to kill your own children and your own siblings in the name of that nonexistent family values and honour? Or you guys are like that only who find no difference between a prostitute and your own sisters?

By the way, did you guys ever took notice on the amount of road rage you guys get entangled into at the drop of a hat and that filthy notion of you being the rascals of the world and there is no bigger scoundrel in the planet walking to question your gross lack of respect for the law and the rules of the land? Manu Sharma? Isn’t he a perfect role model whom you guys have adored for long? Believe me guys, you are the worst kind of useless entities one can aspire to have in his/her country and yet be baffled to see the nonsensical tantrums thrown by you guys every now and then as if you have got more balls than the entire Reynolds factory got.

A sincere request; Just get to the platform of intellectualism and constructive endeavor with us and you would realize how filthy leeches you guys are and how far you lack when it comes to the contributions for nation building. You guys are a big blot on our country and a heap of waste full with parasites. That said, there is at least one sphere where you guys can beat the rest of India hands down. I am sorry but I have no shame in admitting that we value women and their respect and hence we can’t compete with you guys in the number of rapes you commit against a holy and pious species. Sorry we just can’t compete with you on this regard as we are light-year behind in accomplishing such spectacles.

P.S – Delhi has already overtaken Nairobi as one of the most unsafe cities of the world and at that rate it is in the verge of toppling Bogota from the top. You guys must be proud of these achievements which is a resultant of persistent violation of your own women. Great Job!!

The Language:- Let me ask a very simple question if you can read and understand English. Do you guys know what a civilized talk is and how civilize people with even 1% civic sense talk and communicate? If so then I would be grossly disappointed if half of you haven’t yet jumped off a cliff or shut yourself; entirely because of your filthy oration skills. If not yet then just sit and ponder, keeping aside that porn CD you had bought from Palika Bazar to share with your family members. When you guys would leave insulting your sisters in every sentence you speak? This unique uncivilized phenomenon of you scumbags bewilders me to an extent which I can’t just explain. Do you guys really have to start a sentence insulting your sisters and end up disgracing your mother’s integrity and pride?

Don’t believe me? Then just leave that undeserving metro and travel in a so called women molesting heaven (again thanks to your gene which is laced with disrespecting the female species) called DTC. Just glance at the uneducated and hawk looking conductor and his language towards one and all. He is a bloody public servant as per his designation. Isn’t he? That said then; is that idiot sitting at the back of the bus is an exception or I am being from a civilized zone of India just failed to recognize the notion of your side of the planet where descent oration doesn’t goes much beyond Maa and Behen gaalis? Sorry, if I have missed the genetically modified rotten biological system of you guys where the respect to your female family members is limited to them being used for ornamenting your slang generating factories.

In nutshell, a great shame on you guys for not yet realizing what a civilized talk is all about and how civilize people behave in their daily lives. That said, I know I am expecting too much; much more than expecting Pakistan to have a stable democracy one day; to see you guys behaving rationally at least once in your life.

Wake up guys before the rest of India goes on a signature campaign to alienate you filthy creatures and urge the powers that be to chop you out of our demography so that we don’t become an international shame just because of a handful of uncultured, uncivilized, rowdy and manner-less colony of rabid mongrels called the North Indians. There you go, another one horn Rhino poached in Kajiranga.

A Letter To Our Election Commissioner

2012-01-08T11:20:00.015+05:30

Dear Mr. S.Y. Quraishi & Team,

Let me first thank you for providing the much needed fun quotient on a dull weekend like yesterday. When everything seems going bad for us as a nation, which also includes us getting badly thrashed in Australia, your jumbo shocker for Mayawati bridged the missing humor for sure. I can’t just explain you guys how badly I wished, I could have seen the face of that lady when she heard the news for the first time.

At the outset a pat on the back - You guys have travelled a long distance, let me assure you that. Without a certain T.N.Sessan, no one knew if such an institution was ever existing, which literally have powers to strip search the politicians in the middle of the chilly January Delhi night. That was the scenario a couple of decades back, while today everyone knows the in-and-out of the CEC office and most important, its power. From that ‘Main Politicians Ko Kachha Chabata Hun’ Safal advertisement of Sessan to the frequent loo visits of Navin Chawala during important election preparatory meets to update his bosses at 10 Janpath, 7 Racecourse or somewhere in Italy or wherever; the long journey you guys have made is commendable. Remember how politicians used to wet their Dhotis when Sessan was at the helm as the Numero-uno? Sessan was so frightening for many that, to curb his powers our political class installed three EC instead of one. With obstacles that an average honest bureaucrat has to pass through in India you guys have done a brilliant job till now. Barring few hiccups ( Which is fine. Even porn movies show girls fully covered sometime. ) here-and-there, you guys pretty much have done everything right most of the time.

That said, I have some concerns regarding your latest out of the world decision regarding UP and it’s upcoming election and hence thought of clearing the unwanted air of confusion that surrounds me.

You know what Mr. Quraishi? After yesterday my perception towards your office has changed a little. Now I wonder if we really require an election commissioner in our country. If at all yes, then is it mandated by our constitution that schoolboys should run this institution. The ghastly part of the drama yesterday was the spokesperson of CEC office defending the decision taken to cover all elephants and Mayawati statues till the elections are over. Really? It is something similar like Tatas coming up with a shit called Nano and then defending it as world-class in its segment.

Cover all statues of elephants and Mayawati? Heavens why? Even though I wish the statues of Mayawati to be bulldozed and erased to ruins in a manner that would give complex to the Neanderthal Talibanis for erasing Gautama Buddha’s statue in a little pious way; Elephants? Why cover elephants? Elephants don’t wear clothes? Do they? Just because elephants are the poll symbols for BSP, you can’t order them to be covered. Then why spare others? Let’s order to cover all the lotuses (if they are that rampantly available), ask people to lock their cycles in their garage and order people to wear gloves as we can’t chop them off as they ultimately would need their fingers to cast the vote. Does this proposition sound logical Mr. Quraishi? If not then I beg for some answer from you for having this selective amnesia for Mayawati and BSP.

Though I am a great hater of Mayawati and her/his (as the looks doesn’t confirm either way) cronies, the decision of yours to give the Luckhnow residents a much needed relief from the sight polluting purse carrying statues, looks a little political. Even though your job involves and revolves around politics and politicians, you guys are expected to remain as apolitical as Sarad Pawar (anyway, he was never related to anything except loot money) to cricket, still being the head of ICC. But No; as it seems Navin Chawala has left a strong legacy of his political bootlicking qualities and there are jokers in CEC office who still take dictations from bosses in power during their once in every ten minutes loo break.

I know Mr. Quraishi, your deliberations. I know how this election is important to one Yuvraj of a party to showcase that he can achieve something after camping in that state for last one year; sleeping in the mosquito infected Dalit huts as part of his regular gimmickry and pillion riding a bike multiple times to throw tantrums like mass rape and mass grave in Bhatta-Parsaul. I know how a good performance (more than what the Sydney test was for Virat Kohli) in this election is important for the political career of that gentleman. I know there is a motor mouth who wants to save his own ass and that can only be possible by an improved performance in UP elections for Congress. But it doesn’t anyway mean you start chopping the ethics and values of your institution from the middle as if you were the chief of the vasectomy team of Sanjay Gandhi. If at all anything, the funny decision of yours showed that the CEC doesn’t remain that sacrosanct as we believed it to be and you guys washed of your hands on the hard earned reputation quicker than Sanjeev Nanda washed his BMW.

Hope this is one of the odd decisions taken in haste to please few, which would duly be rectified in the course of time and we won’t be surprised by some joke crackers in CEC ever. If our parliament and our democracy are the pillars of our nation, you guys are the caretaker of it. Hope you value the importance of a gardener for the garden as he certainly doesn’t cover the roses with polythene sheets for fear of stealing and destroys the beauty of the garden just because it is Valentine’s Day. Hope we have still got mature heads to run the engine room of the world’s largest democracy.

On a lighter note – Pray Sarha Palin doesn’t get the news of your decision or else Americans would have an embarrassing situation if she comes up with a demand to cover all donkeys during next American elections. By the way, what the hell is wrong with your official website http://www.eci.nic.in ? It is even slower than the fastest delivery of Venkatesh Prasad. That is just not done, as we want our CEC office to be fast, furious, ferocious and crisp in every sphere, which also includes a faster download of their shit on the cyber space. Don’t we?

Warm Regards

- Someone who hasn't ever missed casting his vote

Irritating Indian Travellers

2012-01-06T16:54:00.012+05:30

When we have got people like H.D.Devegowda in India it speaks volume of the collective irrational behavior and irritating attitude of us as a nation. We Indians are constantly irritating and annoying for a lot of people by the sheer power of our ridiculous habits. Ask the racists of the Melbourne streets or the thugs of the London streets or the entire populace if it happens to be Pakistan. All will voice one reason or the other (including, why Indians always question Afridi ‘s never changing age of 18 only because he has already played international cricket for those many years ) for their hatred with annoying habits of us could easily be at the top hands down.

For me, one such habit that stands out like a Haryanvi Jaat among the rest Delhites, is the stuffs we do during our travel. The point by point assassination of our molestation attempt on concepts like Holidays and Holidaying follows.

The Luggage That We Carry: Boy, this is one thing that should constitutionally be banned in India. I mean no one in their life should be allowed to carry the amount of luggage that an average Indian traveler carries during his/her journey. Sorry you can’t carry that volume of luggage, which even the NATO forces might not have ferried in the Posthun region of Pakistan. This is a goddamn public transport, not a bloody lorry to carry half of your household stuff for a five hundred kilometer journey. The vehicle is already overloaded by just alone carrying your filthy asses; thank you very much.

The number of luggage create a problem to other co-passengers in the journey which starts as soon as a dozen people rush inside the bogie with each of them having a big bag in their hands to see off the only traveler; well at best two. Then the process of squeezing the heavy bags under the seat with surgical precision continues till the point at least half of them remain hanged on air with support from nearby luggage and protruding one third of their structure, out. Now this gangbang with the poor luggage by one party leaves almost no scope for other passengers to squeeze anything in. It is not that others don’t try to squeeze in theirs in the microscopic gaps available; but fail miserably most of the time.

At times even the number of luggage take the better of the space available and we see open luggage lazing all around the upper berths and waiting to fall on the bald head of that poor gentleman busy with his Sannyo Walkman. At night these luggage are thrown in the compartment lobby to make space for the owners to rest their posteriors while lesser mortals like us are all at the mercy of our destiny and good luck not to hit one of those and topple while trying to answer the nature’s call in the mid of the night. Honestly, I had one such experience where I found myself falling flat on my face because I got entangled with one of the rolling nonsense in the lobby. I got up and went straight to my berth without going to the toilet out of sheer anger and disparagement.

Food That We Pack: I mean what the heck? Do you really need to pack so much food, which could easily feed Adnan Sami and few other countries for at least a week for a thousand kilometer journey? For Christ sake why half of your luggage has to be full with food and only food? From Haldiram Namkins to Nathu Ram’s Samoshe; From Paratha to some homemade Papad. Why the hell you have to reincarnate as a goddamn Kirana shop every time you travel?

Do you guys ever realize how it smells when you open that nasty dabba of yours’ containing some stale Paratha or Pudi laced with an even more gruesome than shit looking Achar? How come you can spend half of your journey time in eating and only eating?

While an average Indian traveler baffles me with his never-ending eating spree throughout his/her journey, Gujaratis are a notch ahead when it comes to irritate the living daylight out of the fellow passengers by their sheer eating habit. Except lighting a gas and frying some Khakra or Papad right there, those idiots pretty much do the rest. I was horrified once to see the size of their tiffin boxes and the amount of content they were carrying. To horrify me more, a lady of the tormenting lot started pilling a cucumber to plate the salad. Heavens, I never imagined of travelling alongside a hotel on wheels for this journey of mine. Little told about the amount of loitering that goes around for such obnoxious eating habits, which makes the city garbage dump yard look heaven in comparison to the an average Indian Railways compartment.

The Games That We Play: Can’t the railways employ people to roam around the bogies every half an hour and slap individuals engaged in having a game of Cards or Ludo, left-right-and-center? Even before the last bogie of the train leaves the platform, we have patrons ready with their cards to start a noisy game of 29. Are you guys retard? Mentally unstable to realize where you are? Or are you guys are SRK from My Name Is Khan?

Why the hail as a fellow passenger I have to tolerate that spreading towel in the middle of the berth and a howling lot engaged in self sodomy? I mean why I shouldn’t be allowed to concentrate on the paperback pirated book that I just purchased from a Nepali Indian or Indian Nepali or whatever? Why you guys have to discuss the details of the just finished game in top of your voice as if a serious group discussion going around concluding, who is more macho between M.K.Alagiri and Arjuna Ranatunga? While you guys get that satisfaction of being great gamblers why the hell I have to learn all the nuances of that filthy game?

And seriously guys, if you think this card mavericks of yours' will impresses the chicks of the bogie so much that all will be head-over-heels in love with you before you reach your destination station then let me assure you, you failed more miserably than Jugal Hanshraj’s Bollywood career. And by the way, do you guys realize there are aged people travelling who need some rest during the journey; people travelling to attend that all important interview and need some peace of mind; students having examination right after getting down and for sure need some time to brush the topic? Isn’t the railway pantry food enough a torture that we have to bear you great gamblers too?

Laptop Mongrels: Are you really addicted to a Laptop in your lap or just want to show off one and all that you are a big tech gig? Either way, this is irritating son. Irritating because I don’t want a goddamned bespectacled mule sitting beside me with a laptop and running a third graded Hindi movie with volume level high enough for the guy near the toilet to hear. If that is not good enough, look at the timing. Why in earth it is required for you to run that nonsense sitting on your top berth, just when I plan to go for a nap just after my dinner? And why is that flash of light emanating from your laptop screen splashing on my face?

Believe me, I am already fed up with the constantly supplied rotten food from the pantry and the last thing that I would appreciate is some crackjack making haywire of my digestive system just because he thought of listening to Anu Malik’s ‘Barish ho rahi hai, it’s raining, it’s raing’. You are already hammering on my nerves by sitting in front of me and playing with that filthy laptop since dawn break. Hence I would urge you not to increase the misery for both of us; else it would eventually lead to me making a Sreesanth out of you.

Now, none should ask why every second person that gets bashed up around the globe as a resultant of hate crime, has to be an Indian. The answer is very much self-explanatory.

My Wishes For 2012

2012-01-01T12:14:00.004+05:30

Another year, another set of wishes. A whole bunch of resolutions which are most likely to be broken by the evening of 5^th January. Hope and aspiration of a better world with less amount of sorrow, suffering, plight, terrorism, Tahrir square, non-state actors, dossiers, Digvijay Sing’s face on TV and many more such which we want to be less. These were the wishes when we were too shaky after gulping down a gallon of grog during our 31^st celebration and sober enough to even wrongly spell the word sober itself.

Now that it is morning of the first day of a new year and we are back to some kind of sanity with a little bit of hangover, let’s ponder on the wishes that we made the night before. How many of them we really want to see happening? And most important, how many of them have some realistic possibility of happening. Here is my list of wishes which I wish to see materializing in next twelve months.

Decent Politicians: How fool I am to wish for this; you must be thinking. Well I know this is the biggest foolishness one can aspire to do; even bigger than N.D.Tiwari having call girls in his bedroom in Rajbhawan. But as a nation we deserve better people representing us. Don’t we? That said we can’t change the entire present lot as the bench strength is not looking any encouraging either. So one can only wish the lot to be more responsible and for once in their life act like statesmen.

We have got elections in five states with Gujarat being one of them. For the life of me, I don’t wish to see and hear absolutely rubbish TuTu-MainMain among our political class while throwing shit at each other on public platforms. For once I wish to see the elections going off without any rugged one-upmanship and statements like ‘Mauth Ka Saudagar’ or ‘Amul Baby’ hitting me left-right-and-center. The battle ground of UP which would see the entire set of clowns participating gives me jitters on the thought of going through the daily dose of Arnav Goswami pill through Newshour during poll period. Presence of people like Mayawati, Mulayam, Rahul Gandhi and Digvijay Sing can even give scary nightmares to the demons of Yamraj; let alone me being a lesser mortal.

Hope some sense would prevail among our crooked political class and this year would pass off as a less bitter political rivalry.

Ban Bloody Shows Like Big Boss: Are our television creative directors so bankrupt when it comes to new ideas? So much so that they go on copying rubbish from across the globe? What the hell about this show; can anyone please elaborate to me right now? A collection of mentally retard individuals captured from different parts of the planet and bundled inside a house and given a freehand to bitch against each other and vomit nonsense so openly that it could even give Rakhi Shawant some sleepless nights. Is this a television show that we are talking about or an India-Pakistan joint delegation meeting? The show that shows the skills of bitching and fouling at the drop of a hat against another human is certainly what we can be better off not having on air.

If that was not enough to give bad teachings to our kids who somehow remain glued to the television set for the better part of the day, they thought of pushing a porn star in the house which took the show to all time low on credential and values. Please someone take steps to remove such crap from Indian television screens before it creates enough damage on collective Indian psyche which would even make Mayawati as our next Prime-Minister a better option.

Less Of Statues: I want to say this with conviction – Mayawati please stop this nonsense in the name of all Dalits. This has to be condemned by one and all and a corrupt CBI investigation be ordered to figure out how the number of statues of Mayawati in UP has crossed the combined number of schools and hospitals of the state.

The statues in general are a public nuisance and big time sight polluters. I can’t imagine myself getting up early in the morning for my regular jog and the first thing that I see at my neighborhood chowk is the goddamn purse carrying ugly statue of Mayawati or pigeon shit covered statue of Ambedkar. My sincere condolences are with the plight of Luckhnow residents. We have already overtaken the required number of statues in our country with Mayawati handsomely contributing a third of it; we want no more statues of anyone being erected for next half a century. No Congress bootlickers; not even of Rahul Gandhi. Half of UP land and revenue are already consumed in building ugly statues across the state and we better leave the left out resources for constructive endeavors like building schools, hospitals, stadiums etc. If Mayawti continues with her money spending spree on her own statues then I plead to one and all; please someone convince Dawood Ebrahim to shoot her on sight.

Finally A Lokpal: It is due since last forty years and it is about time we have one. That’s what even our politicians promised us after the fiasco in Rajya Sabha. Didn’t they? I don’t know why but for the first time I want believe our politicians for once and want to pit my hope against the words of a hopelessly retarded bunch known as our political class. We had enough strikes and agitations and have left quite a few of our fellow citizens starving throughout the year to show solidarity to Anna Hazare in his hunger strike. Now finally it is time for some action; real action in parliament to pass the bill. Mr.Rajniti Prasad, don’t confuse my pledge for action as your tearing off the bill. You are a big disgrace to democracy and the nation and the entire human race in general.

One thing I don’t want to see this year is Anna going for his 5^th hunger strike post budget session. The old man has already done a lot for you, me and the generations to come and he should be allowed a stress free life henceforth. We as a nation owe a lot to this man and the best way to payback half of the debt is by having a strong Lokpal bill, unlike the toothless, err… mouthless one proposed by our government. Manu Singhvi and Kapil Sibal can go to hell together, if that is the requirement.

Hanging Of Afzal Guru: Honestly this is a constant wish of mine since 2006. It is yet to be fulfilled and I am sure this is the last time I am having this one in my list.

If you guys haven’t heard of something called population burst then just look at the way we deal with the mercy petitions. The list is so crowded that we are forced to have a never heard of first-come first-serve mechanism dealing with it. If you still don’t believe this lesser mortal then please ask an enlightened gentleman called Rahul Gandhi. Just the way your request is dealt with while booking for a table on the 31^st night, we are dealing with the likes of Afzal Guru and cronies like him. That said, I think it is getting little obdurate for whole of India and we better hang the joker sooner than later as being a laughing stock across the globe is no fun, provided you are not H.D.Devegowda.

No Standard Oration On Political Platforms: “Sarkar nai karodon rupayee diye lekin yeh aap logon tak nehin pahonch ti”. Rahul, I know you are a college dropout but you certainly can do better. First step is to sack those script writers of yours’ for charging you to write the same shit every time you visit a non-congress state. Even though we have decades to ponder, it is how only in non-congress state the money sanctioned by the center is not reaching people; you must should stop parroting the same stanza every time you show your face. Believe me it is getting more expected than expecting Sidhu to laugh on the news of his own death. You don’t want to be another Sidhu; do you Rahul?

But first thing first – get rid of those utterly useless script writers who write shit all the time. Be it writing ‘Mauth Ka Saudagar’ for your mom or that gibberish ‘Karodon rupayee’ nonsense for you. Please don’t torture the already price rise tortured population of the nation. And one last advice – don’t mingle too much with Digvijay Sing. Believe me; the rascal will get you shot.

Sachin’s Century: Sachin, what the hell you are doing? Don’t you realize at least half of the nation is waiting for it since one year? How come you screw up in the ninetees and late seventees at least seven times in last as many months? Now that you are in that racist land and we screwing up the Boxing Day test, it is more than required that you show who is the boss to all those creepy Ausies in Sydney. And truth be told; among all my wishes of the list, this is the one which has some realistic possibility of getting fulfilled; that too as early as the first week of the year. Hope Sachin you won’t disappoint me and million others. Ok promise, I will sign in that signature campaign to confer you with Bharat Ratna.

No Corruption: Doesn’t matter if I wish this or not. In India this one is never going to be fulfilled even if the God himself wishes for the same. So I am not bothering myself much

No Mental Torture: Ugly dancing on TV by Rakhi Shawant and Sreesanth for no apparent reason.

Hope to see each of these getting fulfilled by the time I would be writing a similar list for 2013. Ameen !! By the way, the important formality – “Wish You All A Happy New Year”, as if without my uttering it would be any different than it is destined to be.

Open Letter To Congress Party

2011-12-28T15:53:00.014+05:30

Dear Congress Party,

Actually hell with that….

Congress Party,

Even though the letter could have been written to individual party members, separately highlighting their respective nefarious persona; I thought to club it into one as more or less you all are same in everything. From Bootlicking to Looting; From Goons to pseudo Gandhigiri; You all are modeled in one mold. So do bear with me for writing this one big letter; more so when you guys are bearing quite willingly with someone called Rahul Gandhi.

Without any prejudice, let me say this – you guys have ruined this country and made a big mess of it through your collective antagonism. You guys also know it but all hell seems to break loose the moment any one of us even remotely tries to utter this bitter truth. Every time someone questions your ethics and your dedication towards the nation and its people, you spread your hood like an irate King Cobra and start spewing venom. Every time one asks for justifications on your latest action, you ask them to keep their mouth shut as you are been elected by the people of India hence possess a popular mandate.

Just because we have a large voting section of the country who are illiterate and so poor that they are forced to survive on their own shit and can be easily bought or sold in exchange of a Desi Daru pouch; your goons winning parliamentary seats by cunning those poor people doesn’t make you a popular choice. So please don’t ever claim yourself being the choice of the people if you take the number of slippers hurled at your party men as any kind of hint.

Racking up some funny number to claim that simple majority in the house so that you can hang on to power is a game which political parties are best playing at. But the same numbers seem like giving Suresh Kalmadi a Rs 500/- note as bribe, when it comes to some rational logic. A mere 20% vote share of yours’ doesn’t in anyway justify your claim of you being the majority choice of the nation. 20% share of the votes and still you guys claim yourself being populous? You guys must be dumb to claim so. Or is it the average literacy level of the party is taking better of logical reasoning? Do some work on your mathematics in a hurry if you guys don’t want to go back to primary schools all over again. On a second thought, the suggestion doesn’t seem like a bad one when more than half of your party men haven’t seen how a school looks like. Coming back to my point; Just that you managed to find other crooks like DMK and NCP with similar mindset and joined hands to voyage through your national loot mission, doesn’t make you the choice and voice of the nation. Hence I would urge with folded hands that you guys stop vouching for such obnoxious claims at once or we for sure are done away with hurling slippers alone and would certainly love some action involving our palms and your cheeks henceforth. Ask your ally party man Sarad Pawar how exactly it feels.

I also hear you red-eye one and all at the drop of a hat and accuse them of subverting democracy? Really? That is like Tiger Woods giving lecture on ‘How to be loyal to your wife’. Let me tell you this - Your party and respect for democracy is a bigger oxymoron than Mayawati and Development. Before we go further we must take a pause at this interesting juncture and have a little chat. Could the worshipers of democracy and those saints disguised as politicians of your party can raise their hands if you believe your party is democratic to begin with. When you guys haven’t had any kind of election to elect your own party head in last decade or so, it makes me more nervous than Baba Ramdev after getting Lathi Charged at Ramlila ground to see you guys raising questions on someone else’s democratic values. Sonia Gandhi is occupying the chairmanship without any internal election with all likelihood the trend would be followed in future as it is more than evident that it is Rahul Gandhi who would take over later. So my second request with folded hands – Please don’t become a national embarrassment by raising such self-humiliating questions. Next time you start questioning the stinking ass of someone else, I would request you to look within at your own shit smeared posteriors.

There is one cunning fox amongst you named Kapil Sibal, who stands out from the rest by his sheer nonsense orating skills. When a whole bunch of gray heads went beyond a lakh crore to formulate on how much the loyal pawn of Karunanidhi has managed to syphon in 2G auction; this mathematics genius, armed with his own set of algorithms came to his own conclusion of the loss being zero and went ahead announcing it in the parliament. You guys must believe me – It is funnier than even watching a Ramgopal Verma directed horror movie. If that was not enough he recently announced reincarnating himself to some kind of sniffer dog so that he can sniff out all those unwanted and anti-religious materials getting into cyber world. If you manage to read this someday Kapil, then don’t even wait for a second but either shoot yourself or jump off a cliff immediately. And please don’t give that crap security concern as the cause of such tantrums when the real agenda behind such foolishness from you is something else. If we as a nation can’t even survive our own criticisms then there is something seriously wrong and the first step towards fixing it would be to have people like you being thrown back to the places you belong. Trust me – people in and around Chandni Chowk become extremely irritated by the sheer mention of your name and it is time you mend yourself before you get bashed up black and blue by your own people.

Trust me guys, at times I even get envious looking at you and the gems that are with your possession with the Kohinoor of them being Digvijay Sing. I just can’t explain how the very mention of his name makes me remind the sorry face of Saurav Ganguly in that ‘Apne Apke Dada Ko Bhule To Nehin’ advertisement. The world knows how to deal with rubbish people; that is not to give them an ounce of importance and hence I am doing pretty much the same by not writing further on him. Jokers are never taken seriously. That said, I have my third request with folded hands; Please stop him from uttering on anything and everything and showing his extreme intellectual bankruptcy every time. Else don’t be surprised if someone from the neighborhood calls up the municipality dog catching unit and reports about a consistently barking mad dog which would lead to Digvijay Sing being parceled in a caged dog catching van and transported to canine shelter for rehabilitation.

I am not going to write anything on Lokpal bill either. I know your real intentions and I am sure you guys won’t allow a strong biting mechanism passing through. Otherwise it would create a serious human resource issue at the party level as half of your men would be packed behind bars within hours of this bill getting implemented. This half might also include stalwarts like Chidambaram.

Hope some sense would prevail and I expect at least one joker (literate) of your grand old party would take some time out and reply me back with his reactions. I can’t share my address details as I am very much aware of you guys have the largest and most wide spread goons collection in the world.

Warm Regards

Someone being looted by your party for last 65 years!!

P.S - By the way, can someone take the pain and answer back the exact qualification of Rahul Gandhi and why his name is still Rahul Vinci on his passport?

What The Heck !!

2011-12-27T16:56:00.011+05:30

This is a piece of news we shouldn’t give a miss. According to Times Of India, an independent international watchdog organization named Global Financial Integrity (GFI) in their reports have jolted few numbers, which might very well blast the living day lights out of half of our population.

According to them, in last decade alone close to $128 billion dollars was syphoned from India and were transferred to black accounts of many present in different tax heavens. This amount roughly converts to Five and Half Lakh crore in Indian currency. This roughly calculates out to be around four thousand odd crorers every month. Heck!! That’s a hell lot of money. I mean with that amount we can buy Nigeria, Kenya, Tahiti, Somalia and few more African nations, install a Mayawati statue in each major city of India, including one in moon, convince Dawood Ebrahim to shoot Mamta Banarjee at sight, have multiple plastic surgery on Jayanthi Natrajan’s nose to get it to some shape and yet be left with enough change to pocket Togo and buy an IPL team. That is one heck of an amount which I fear counting the number of zeros it might contain.

Jokes apart, whose money is this? Is it the money of common people like you and me? Or is it the money of Government which the defaulters never paid in tax? Who are the skunks who could manage to syphon such large amount and how? How come our competent authorities couldn’t stop the loot to happen after having so many checks and balances in our operation frameworks? Or is it yet another case of nepotism getting better of moral and ethical values and the money is syphoned in connivance of one and all with each party having a decent share in the loot?

Look at the sorry state of affairs in our country. There are more than 600 million people in this country whose average daily income is not more than Rs 20/- per day. Among all the developing nations, we have a pathetic track record in terms of providing education to our kids. Basic healthcare is in shambles. Our roads and highways are as bad as it can get. Our scientific innovation efforts are getting dented due to the lack of fund. And here we are managing to syphon five lakh crores in a decade.

The money which belongs to the common people like you and me; The money which belongs to our Government is being promptly looted by the thugs of the society and tucked elsewhere. There are politicians who loot the tax payer’s money in the name of various welfare schemes and pile it on foreign banks. There are corporate houses who in connivance with the politicians and bureaucrats hide their taxes and stock them elsewhere. There are bureaucrats who take advantage of the lose and weak bureaucratic framework to remain engage in corruption activities throughout their tenure and keep on looting till the last day of their retirement. There are these film and media houses who get funded in crores through the Hawala market and in nepotism with the politicians subgrade their income to a considerable lower proportion to avoid paying high tax. We are full with corrupts; if anything the staggering $128 billion number proved. No wonder from making baby foods to our moon mission – We are corrupt in everything.

Time and again we come up with money minting avenues like NREGA and loan waiver for farmers. With a reserve estimate, nothing less than one lakh thirty thousand cores were invested in both these schemes collectively. The money that had been spent in these schemes and schemes alike are just hogwash. In the name of social welfare and poverty upliftment, our politicians get engaged in the looting work to drain the nation from its resources, avenues and revenue. In the name of building a sporting culture and national pride people looted thousands of crores of poor tax payer’s money. The instances of loot in this great country is millions in literal sense.

Let’s see how reactive we are when such unholy loot gets unearthed. There are people like Hasan Ali who on an individual account are defaulter of at least fifty thousand crores in tax to the Government and yet not been handed with exemplary punishment. We had people thrown behind bars for corruption in 2G, CWG and Adarsh but only to find each of the thugs getting bail one after another. We had got corruption cases pitted against our politicians, including a former Prime-Minister and the cases run into donkey’s years with each of the scoundrels getting clean chit at the end of the day. We had big fishes like Harsad Mehta and Ketan Parekh apprehended while playing with our economy and yet have to release them with all dignity later, due to the lack of evidence (or bribed to cover the evidence). We have white collar thieves like Ramalingam Raju, who syphon out a good seven thousand crores and yet to be acted option. If anything few of these inaction list of our’s suggest, then it proves we don’t want to act against the corrupts and thugs at all.

Not only we hate to act against the buffoons who have looted us, but also don’t want someone else to take up the task. Look at what our Government done or trying to do against an honest and much required agitation of Anna Hazare. As the looters were questioned about their loot; the looters went up in arm to brand and vandalize Anna’s movement as an act of anti-nationalism, architectured and propagated by anti-nationals like Anna Hazare, Arvind Kejriwal and Kiran Bedi. In the name of parliament supremacy, they are busy engaged in the acts of hypocrisy and delaying tactics. They tell lie and cheat the entire nation with false promises, all the while trying their best to brush the truth under the carpet. They bring unnecessary hindrances in the discussion to formulate a strong set of rule to take looters like them to task. Sometime they come up with some theatrical Game Changer Idea while at some other time they bring the out of context minority quota into the debate. The idea was just to shift the goal post and delay the process as far as possible.

They don’t want us to ask uncomfortable questions on their loot. They don’t like we asking why they are looting the populace with both hands as if it is their birth right. They hate us if we stand up and ask them to own up their created mess and be accountable to the nation. The looters don’t like honest people like you and me furnishing honest questions and sought honest answers. If we do, then we are there to be branded as anti-national and unpatriotic.

The Minority Report - Lalu's Version

2011-12-23T14:04:00.002+05:30

Not that I wasn’t aware of this, but yesterday it was confirmed beyond any doubt that Lalu Prasad Yadav is a big embarrassment to Indian democracy. The little hope that I had of him turning useful for the nation at least once in his life span crashed badly on account of his unnecessary blabber and ranting on the floor of the house on an entire non-issue.

Non-issue, because the job at hand was to table the much awaited Lokpal bill. A matter that the entire nation wants to be debated, argued with genuine reasons and vigor was marred with some non-required gimmickry by Lalu in his trademark style. This is not only an insult to the civil society but also to the nation itself. Rather than realizing the gravitas of the situation, Lalu made a mockery of the whole process by his extraneous outburst on anyone and everyone remotely related to Jan Lokpal.

Though such acts of vandalism is always expected from a seasoned clown like Lalu and we all should ignore it outright; the concerns he raised (may be for personal gain) can’t be ignored with that ease. Even though the political career of Lalu is diminishing faster than that of Harbhajan Sing’s cricketing career, yet the reasoning and demands he furnished and subsequently the agility of the Government in accepting the demands within no time, tells something for which we all must be concerned.

I just want to ask this to all the Lalus and clowns alike of the world – when we for once keep the votebank politics out of serious issues dealing with National Interest and security? This looks grossly filthy and intolerable when people like Lalu and Gurudas Dasgupta having fractured agenda try to hijack a serious discussion to a nonsensical proportion by popping up complete non-issues. More intolerable it becomes when we see the farce unfolding very unholy way throughout the day and yet can’t do anything to stop the callousness.

There were many flaws and disjoints to the arguments of Lalu Yadav. To begin with, when it is not even yet decided in which form the bill would be passed, jumping the gun and arguing against the proposed guideline of forming the panel of ombudsmen for the Lokpal is not only premature but also childish. The manner in which the issue of missing minority quota in the panel was dragged out of context and argued upon, made many wonder if Lalu’s reaction to the issue was spontaneous or was it a planned move in connivance with the ruling party? A close look at the nature of oration and an unnecessary dig at the BJP and RSS without any considerable reasons or proof show the whole drama was more stage-managed than spontaneous.

The initial proposal had the mention of minority quota in the panel of ombudsmen of Lokpal which surprisingly was omitted when the bill was tabled in the parliament. This seems to have angered an opportunist individual like Lalu, who after seeing the debacle of his party in Bihar has this last resort left to hook on to the minority vote chunk so that his political career could still remain afloat. While the reason behind such omission is still not clear, Lalu had his conspiracy theory ready as usual. As per him, it is the BJP and RSS who put tremendous pressure on the Government to do the chopping work. This is obnoxious and brainless accusation to say the least. You need to be a complete insane to believe BJP-RSS combine have enough clout to put pressure on the Government.

When there isn’t much coherence between the ruling party and BJP, how effective the demand to chop the minorities from the panel, made to a party who are known conceiver of appeasement and votebank politics and thrive on minority votes, is anybody’s guess. RSS? Really? At this juncture Lalu needs to elaborate, how in earth RSS came to the picture of a democratic framework and legislation when the Sangh doesn’t have a single representative in the house nor they are a political party. Even though there is a close association of RSS with BJP, it still looks questionable if RSS is in a position to force the Government to let go their favorite route and abide by their idea. Lalu needs to do some serious explanation as it is about time that nonsense on the floor of the house be dealt with iron fist so that nefarious elements like Lalu and many other are refrained from opening their mouth and uttering all the nonsense one could.

More surprises followed after this outburst of Lalu. Best of them is the agility of the Government in accepting the demands of Lalu within hours. Now this raises a concern as far as our constitution is concerned. Does our constitution anywhere allow quota on the basis of religion? Perhaps not. Then the ground on which Congress agreed to have that for Lokpal seems questionable. No wonder BJP is up-in-arms for such blatant violation of the constitution. The argument of the Congress party that minority doesn’t necessarily means religion but a group of people and hence can be accommodated, is nothing but a futile attempt at some dirty hogwash.

The entire script seems straight out of a Bollywood flick. First, adding minority quota in Lokpal while drafting; then removing it while tabling. The uproar of the parliament architected by the perpetual clown Lalu and subsequently the quota being reinstalled. Isn’t there something fishy in the whole drama? Doesn’t it look like as if it was well scripted behind closed doors and enacted on the floor so that the Government can further delay in signing their own death warrant?

Amidst all this confusion, one thing is certain – ‘Now the MPs can earn money from the Government by their illogical and out of tune oration ’. How? Just ask Lalu and Gurudas Dasgupta, as they accomplished a paid oration job for the Government yesterday only.

Manu, Let’s Debate Your Rubbish Bill

2011-12-22T14:46:00.009+05:30

Looking at the chaos and TuTu-MainMain around Lokpal bill, one wonders if it is time that we have a pan India open debate to set things straight once-and-for-all.

The much awaited bill on which various governments sat on without any urgency and got rejected every time it is tabled in parliament in last forty years is going to be tabled for the 16^th time today. It never happened suo-moto, but required a pan India agitation which saw a 79 year old doing two rounds of hunger strike. When finally it did manage to get a shape to be tabled again, we need to ponder – ‘IN WHICH FORM?’

We all wanted a strong Lokpal bill; Strong enough to put in more stringent checks and balances to control the corruption in every level. Studying the media reports on the proposed bill of the Government, one wonders, if we really got what we wanted. Did our aspiration of having a serious institution, free from the clutches of the ruling Government being installed to safeguard the national interest and control the rampant corruption that the country is going through, is been fulfilled or not.

The point of serious difference between team Anna and the Government representatives has got three major issues. The inclusion of PM under the Lokpal. CBI as an independent investigative agency under Lokpal. And finally, the formation of effective citizen chatters. Let’s ponder if the proposed bill of the Government is addressing any of the three concerns with any seriousness or not.

Inclusion of PM under Lokpal :

The initial demand was to have PM under the purview of the Lokpal at all time. Like me, many see no harm in any such demand. When the PM is already under the supervision of the laws of the land and even under CBI, then what is the harm in having him under Lokpal? But for some strange reasons best known to the gray heads of the standing committee, they want to defer on this popular sentiment as it is evident from the below changes they prescribed from the original demand.

i. PM is under the Lokpal but with conditions.

ii. PM should not be questioned on issues of National Security and Nation Interest, Foreign Relations, Atomic Energy

iii. The complains against the PM should not be made public

iv. The prosecution of the PM should be on camera

The first point is humorous to say the least. For the life of me I fail to understand why can’t the PM being a citizen of the nation be under the laws of the land without any condition, as an average citizen? Why the PM have to have privileges even when it comes to abide by the laws of the land? This seems grossly illogical to me as our constitution mandates to treat each one of us with same yardstick in the eyes of the law. If I as an individual is under the Lokpal without any condition then why can’t the PM be; More so when he/she is an elected representative?

PM not to be questioned on issues of National Security seems genuine, as long as it is clearly defined which precise matters one should consider as matters of National Security. Is there any such list available? The fear of our cunning politicians misusing this clause to safeguard themselves by painting every damn issue under the sun being of National Security nature can’t be ruled out. Given a chance there would be guys who would readily try to project even allocation of spectrum as a matter of National Security and hence the PM can’t be questioned why he let Raja keep on looting. This precise clause is as same as Article-72 of our constitution dealing with Mercy petitions. We know how the political parties have manipulated it to carry on with their appeasement activity.

For the third point, I just want to ask – Hell, why not? Why shouldn’t the complains be made public? Doesn’t the nation have the rights to know on what charges their own elected Prime-Minister is been investigated? Where is the issue of conflict of interest that the Government is trying to furnish as an excuse for their decision? Rather, as long as the investigation remains transparent, it will in fact minimize the so called conflict of interest and would stop individuals with nefarious interest from taking advantage of the situation.

CBI under Lokpal:

CBI seems to be like a Girlfriend for the ruling party, whom they neither can keep nor can revel to their wives. It is no secret that the premier investigative agency is long been used by the ruling party to carry out the political vendetta against their rivals. Many a times CBI is asked to go slow on investigations when it deals with ruling party’s ministers. The classic example is that of the 2G case where CBI was all but busy covering up the loot than unearthing it, till a point when the Apex court jumped into the foray and order them to pull up their socks. When it was most needed to free the CBI from the Government clutches, the Government came up with some nasty surprises, completely in contrast to what been demanded in Lokpal

i. CBI be still under the Government with PM being the appointee of the director

ii. CBI would have a separate investigating wing which would be under Lokpal

iii. The prosecuting wing of CBI would be under the Government as usual

I am not sure if one should laugh or cry on these points. At the outset one would for sure pity on the brains who thought of such ornamental travesty of commonsense. When the concern was the misuse of the CBI for political gain we see nothing has been done to address that concern. It is still under the Home-ministry with its director reporting to the Home-minister. Now one can guess how effective and fair the agency would be with its investigation while dealing with corrupt ministers of the ruling government. More than the logic, I am yet to get to the crux of such death-may-do-us-apart love of the Government for CBI.

For the second point, one can safely laugh out loud and yet be unquestioned on the reasons. How in earth one can conceive the idea of having a corruption crusade independent institution without having its own prosecution wing is beyond my imagination. What the Government wants the Lokpal to do? Break their backs in investigating and unearthing the loot and the looters and then give it to CBI prosecution wing to take it from there and screw up all the hard work at the end of the day? Does the Government want the Lokpal to work like mules to bring the rascals to the light of the day; only for the prosecution to start covering up the mess later? Even the word disgusting is an understatement.

On Citizen Charter:

No issues with that if the proposed bill never talks anything about it when we have a separate bill already tabled to address this issue. But on the second thought, just wondering; why the hell so many bills are floated when our government in an average takes a good part of four decades to pass one?

So in nutshell, the dirty tricks department seems to have their way yet again in safeguarding themselves and some maligned interest of few. The strong Lokpal that would have made sure thugs are apprehended with their pants down is intentionally made toothless. And for once if Sonia Gandhi is half serious on her utterances about fighting for a strong Lokpal as it is a path breaking bill, then why doesn’t she accepts Anna’s challenge of coming out to the open and debate over the rubbish bill her party men have proposed as an output of the so called useless standing committee meetings?

Mrs. Gandhi - Are you hearing ?? !!

How Bad Is Too Bad?

2011-12-21T12:43:00.004+05:30

When we Indians would understand that where exactly how much is too much? When we will realize that it is about time we shed off our easy going attitude and be proactive in demanding for our legitimate dues? Till when we will expect others to do the tough walk and we enjoying the benefits of someone else’s hard work? When we will get out of our slumber and realize, all that is been projected to us is not rosy in realty?

We have suffered a lot over the years, decades, centuries for this very easy going attitude. This attitude is the biggest reason why we could be ruled by handful of English for centuries and Mughals for thousand years before that. We never took our independence and sovereignty with any seriousness. We were greedy and selfish. We were lazy and volatile. We were traitors and touts. We were in fact everything that was bad and continue to be so. So no wonder, under the disguise of democracy again a handful of people are looting us for decades together and we are still lazy-ing around like pigs in the mud and continue to be looted.

We always thought there ought to be a savior who will come and save us from our plight. We always were too reluctant to oppose, voice our opinion and agitate for all the wrong meted to us. We heavily depend on figures like Sivaji, Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi and Anna Hazare to come forward and uplift our pathetic state. But that always can’t be the case. There can’t be always someone who would take the fight head on while we cool our respective asses in our cozy drawing rooms enjoying a pathetic IPL encounter. At some point we all have to rise to the occasion and fight for our demands.

We take pride of us being the world’s largest democracy. But had anyone thought, how much of us really take the pain to stand in the queue to vote? A national figure of only 40% voters turning up says a lot about our indifference, even towards the government we chose. Is it the real democracy when only 40% of the entire lot chose their government? Can we say the ruling party really has the popular mandate? A mere 20% vote share makes you form the government at the center with help of regional parties. Can this be a real democratically chosen government when it is formed in connivance with regional parties to reach that magical simple majority mark in the house? Can the regional parties who would have won their seats based on regional agendas and differences contribute to the national agenda of the nation? Parties like DMK, TMC are examples of opportunistic politics where they become a part at the center only to fulfill their self-goal. They arm-twist, blackmail and loot to safeguard their own interest and yet the chief ruling party just can’t act against them in fear of losing power and conveniently brush the democratic disasters under the carpet in the name of coalition politics. Is this the real democracy where people’s wishes were pushed to the back row terming it as anti-national while giving importance to individual wishes?

How this happened? Who allowed this to continue happening? Of course there are those who are more responsible than others and they would be certainly held accountable. But again truth be told, if you are looking for the guilty, you need only look in to a mirror. This is again an outcome of our easy going and Chalta hai attitude.

Look at the rampant appeasement going around in exchange of National interest, pride and security. People have the audacity to attack our parliament and lucky enough to continue enjoying our warm hospitality. Afzal Guru was sentenced to death by our Apex court a good five years back but is yet to be executed. When asked about this generosity, we are bombarded with varied answers. While at one hand we are told it is the president who is sitting on the mercy petition of the joker as she has no time left after visiting Pune to meet her brother 12 times every year, at the other hand we are told of some funny and never heard first-come first-serve mechanism in dealing with mercy petitions, as if we are booking a hotel room. Ajmal Qassab and his accompanying clowns killed hundreds of innocents in one go but we are still dragging our feet to give justice to all those who died that fateful night and their family members. This is scary when vote bank politics takes precedence over national interest and public sentiments. This is scary when we see a complete non-functional government at the center which time and again fails to act on the culprits because of some compulsive coalition politics or hidden minority appeasement for vote bank. Look within; we citizens are even responsible for such indifference and nonchalant attitude of our own elected government towards us.

We have got corruption in every sphere. We have corrupts in every street, city, village and government offices across the country. Have we done anything to get rid of this malaise? Perhaps not. We certainly can’t formulate the rules but we can for sure socially boycott the known corrupts in our immediate circle, our family tree, our neighborhood. How many of us have done that? How many of us have bluntly told someone to get out of his house as that person is corrupt and socially not acceptable? We believe Anna will do that for us through Jan Lokpal. We believe Lokpal is nothing short of a magic wand which will eliminate corruption from our country by mere swing of it. Let me assure you, when corruption has gone down into our genes, even a thousand Lokpals can’t stop this spreading. As long as we citizens don’t humiliate the corrupts of our neighborhood in social circle we are not going to achieve what we expect to achieve from Lokpal. It may sound little illogical and out of tune but as they say ‘Tough situation requires tough measures’.

All these are early signs of us turning into a Banana republic. These are early signs of us becoming more like an anarchy wrapped under the sugar coat of democracy. These are alarms for all of us to wake from our deep slumber and smell the coffee. It depends if we will wake up and start acting or just roll over and press the snooze button. Unfortunately if it is the later then for sure we as a nation are moving towards a disaster.

Jan Lokpal – The Debate Seems Never Ending

2011-12-15T15:22:00.006+05:30

Call it an irony or the faulty framework of our democracy. The whole fight against corruption and the formulation of a Lokpal bill boiled down to the mercy of the very crooks against whom such a bill is proposed. People against whom this movement was staged have now become the authorizer and approver of it. How fair and effective they would be to stamp their own death warrant is anybody’s guess.

So as expected, the all-party meet to discuss the Lokpal bill went of more on the expected lines than anything. If the media is to be believed then a lot of TuTu-MainMain happened, yielding almost nothing. No party seemed too sure on where to put their money and whom to support. No consensus reached on what to do barring the Prime-Minister who did a formality when he said we need a strong Lokpal.

Bravo!! As if without the utterances of the Prime-Minister the populace at large wouldn’t have realized how badly we need a strong Lokpal bill. In nutshell, the entire all-party meet was a complete failure and yet another wastage of public money.

This raises a very concerning question. Can we really allow people to be the judge of their own crimes and then expect a fair verdict? Our democratic framework mandates the involvement of both houses of the parliament for new legislation to pass. While the procedures holds fine for other such legislations, it looks a little illogical and out of tune when we try to follow the same process in the case of a strong legislation like the Jan Lokpal. We all know it is formulated looking at the enormous amount of corruption in the country; 90% of which have some direct or indirect involvement of a politician.

The clear lack of conviction and will to allow such bill to come into existence was evident among all the political parties at yesterday’s all-party meet. Everyone was busy blaming the other, conveniently brushing the Asli Mudda under the carpet. If this is what the outcome at an all-party meet then one doesn’t need the IQ of a Nobel laureate to guess what the fate of the proposed bill would be when it goes to parliament for approval. Rather being in praise for Anna Hazare who took the pain to bring the Lokpal into public ambit, majority of the political parties were seen bashing his method of revolt which they feel is nothing but blackmailing the present day government and taking nation to ransom. All this farce in the name of an all-party meet doesn’t give much confidence to the common populace that the bill they are eagerly waiting to see getting passed would ever be materialized.

Now where this leads us to? When the very framework dictates the involvement of both the houses in matter like passing new legislations, how in earth one can bypass this? Is there any clause available in our constitution which can be used to keep away the crooks to decide the fate of a bill which is designed against the very same crooks? How about a referendum? Can we for once let the people of India decide what they want in which form when it comes to some sensitive bill like the Jan-Lokpal? Many European nations exercise this clause in issues which largely affects the people of the country directly.

In India corruption is something which each and every citizen must have suffered and continues to suffer. From production of Baby food to our Moon mission, each of it is marred with high degree of corruption. The level to which this malaise has spread into, that it has already started to suffocate us in our day-to-day life. When the phenomenon is hitting the common-man so badly, shouldn’t the same common-man be allowed to decide the nature of cure he wants to see? Why a bunch of elected representatives must always decide what is best for the nation?

But in India, it is always easier said than done. The first thing that been told to the nation every time there is a demand for referendum is the non-availability of any such clause in our constitution. The politicians always carry the constitution baton whenever it suits their need. This is where I dearly love to ask the political mass, does the constitution allows the rampant corruption that most of their brethren seem to be engulfed in? If they are so duty-bound to follow the constitution till the last letter, it makes one wonder where the same vigor vaporizes while getting corrupt? There are so many things the constitution doesn’t agree to or elaborates on. Constitution doesn’t mention anything on the funny first-come first-serve mechanism while dealing with mercy petitions either. So why this love for constitution and its respect when things suites your interest? Why not for once go a little wayward and ask the citizens what they want and decide on it; more so when our political class has failed to take any decision in last four decades after seventeen rounds of discussion.

The points of dispute which includes having the PM under the Lokpal along with grade C & D employees and formulation of citizen charters and making CBI as an independent investigative organization didn’t get any kind of consensus in the all-party meet. The final decision on these points still remains as volatile and fragile as it used to be when Anna started his agitation a year back. While there are few parties who agree to accommodate first three points of the demand the last one doesn’t find many credential buyers. As a middle path a bifurcation of CBI is proposed instead, where the CBI will do only investigate the financial crimes as an independent body whereas for others it would pretty much remain as it is now. I don’t know if it is too dangerous for our political parties to let go CBI of their clutches or it is plain ego which is stopping the political parties to make CBI an independent institution?

Won’t it be further messy if CBI is broken down to such micro level of operational expanse? Won’t it be a farce when CBI would wait for the CVC’s nod to start working on any particular scam? This proposal not only looks rubbish on the face of it but also explains the IQ level of our representatives.

Smelling the mess no wonder Anna has already decided to start afresh with his hunger strike from 27^th if things don’t get through by then. Many may term such acts as an act of blackmailing, but truth be told, you require some strong arm tactics to set right the highway robbers. Hope things won’t deteriorate to such proportion that we have start all over again from 27^th and would feel ashamed in front of the world that not only our politicians are the most corrupt lot but also are cheats of highest degree.

Congress - A Party Of Swindlers And Thugs

2011-12-13T11:04:00.021+05:30

I am now entirely convinced that Congress is a party of swindlers and thugs and would conveniently sell the nation and national interest for personal gain. And there are more than just good enough reasons for me to come to this conclusion. A quick glance at the history of Congress and their rubbish acts and actions which has time and again harmed the nation and the populace speaks volume of the grand old party which are and were always a colony of crooks and on any given day can ashamed even the highway robbers.

To start with, it was Jawaharlal Nehru who made a mess of this country for his personal greed and womanizing nature. If not for a certain Sardar Patel we would have been begging all over the world by now. While Gandhi was all but perusing Nehru to drop his wish of becoming the first prime-minister and let Zinha have that honor which in a way would have ensured a non-division of the country; Nehru being power hungry and perhaps entered the independence movement with an eye on this post bluntly refused to listen to the father of the nation and stuck to his self-greed. How correct was Mahatma Gandhi when out of frustration he said this at that time – ‘Day will come when people will spit on the very mention of Congress and would throw stones at you’.

While stalwarts like Sardar Patel were busy formulating policies and road map of a developing India, Nehru was busy sporting a red rose and day dreaming how to sleep around with all the beautiful women including Lady Mountbatten. This is the truth of the grand old party which has such a distinguished founder who was nothing but a nymphomaniac womanizer.

Nehru and Congress continued with their loot (does anyone remember the Jeep scam?) and inflecting damages to the country till a certain Lalbahadur Shastri came to the helm. Let me admit – Shastriji was so unlike of Congress as he was clean. But it seems the destiny of the nation was never ready for a clean person but crooks and only crooks. That’s why perhaps we had Indira Gandhi to take over the mental. The shocking death of Shastriji at Tashkent is still a surprise for many and foul plays so that the first family can hang onto the power again can’t be ruled out.

Indira’s rule was a black chapter which we would have been better off without. Indira was always at the wrong end of the national interest and thought, she being the law in herself. Both the party and the first family of the party kept on with their looting spree for a good decade or so till Jayaprakash Narayan raised his voice against such institutional loot. Rest as they say is history when the crooked lady installed emergency, in-order to take away the freedom of speech and gag the media not to write on her and her mis-governance. So shameful was the outcome that the Allhabad High-Court announced the election of Indira as null and void for the misappropriate use of means and we found our prime-minister behind bars.

Little did we write about Rajiv Gandhi is better as he is a Bharat Ratna for looting the nation in Bofors deal and making it a personal responsibility of killing innocent Sikhs post Indira’s assassination.

While one can write tons of paper on the indifferent behavior of the party at large and a notorious family enjoying a borrowed surname and barely able to produce a graduate till today in particular, their latest jingoism in handling Anna Hazare and his demands for a strong Lokpal and their effort to fool the nation yet again for their greed is just the icing on the cake which labels them as leeches far more heinous and dangerous than all the Aarab dictators put together.

When Anna was in the 10^th day of his hunger strike, last time around, the parliament finally agreed to debate on the legitimacy of his demands. Just when the debate was becoming a genuine one a certain gentleman, who would fail the eighth grade exam nine out of ten times, thought of opening his mouth to let the world know, who the biggest buffoon of the world is. Quite unnecessarily he shifted the goal post by his so called game changer plan (for which the rest of the clown lot of Congress were head over the heels with praise) and instead suggested to make Lokpal a constitutional body. Please someone educate this under educated brat that he should stick to his regular gimmickry of staying in a Dalit hut and getting arrested while pillion riding in a bike and refrain himself from commenting on grave issues where his half-baked brain would fail miserably to supply the adequate amount of intelligent quotient. After much deliberation, finally the crooked government relented and the Prime-minister himself wrote a letter where he urged Anna to end his hunger strike and assured him of having a general consensus of the house to agree to his three major demands. That to have the PM under Lokpal and so as grade 3 & 4 employees along with formulation of citizen chatters.

While it was none other than the PM himself who assured of the same in writing, the dirty tricks department of Congress was at its cunning best when it came to drafting, for the parliament to pass. The slaves did all this just to appease a college dropout who at best can stay overnight in a Dalit’s hut as a part of gimmickry and pretend to be intellectual and pious while hobnobbing with his drug mafia Colombian girlfriend. The hurriedly constituted standing committee allegedly removed all that the PM agreed in writing and drafted an exact opposite toothless bill which later on can be used, manipulated by their future crooks and of course the mentally retarded heir apparent.

When the members of BJP and few others showed their disapproval of any such decision their anger was treated as a voice of dissent. Now this surprises me to see how far the dirty tricks department can manipulate their actions just to safeguard a pathetic family. One can question – there were only 11 who agreed to the draft formulated by the dirty tricks department, while there were 17 who disagreed. So, since when that the voices of majority is treated as a voice of dissent while the voice of minority as the voice of the committee? Only because the 11 voices are from the dirty tricks department?

No wonder team Anna is bewildered looking at the latest developments. An entire nation was cheated when the crooks for their personal gain over ruled the promise made by the prime-minister of the nation. The standing committee conveniently overlooked the promises of the PM so that they can implement the maligned interest of Rahul Gandhi. The token fast of Anna on 11^th and the large number of crowd present their to show their solidarity explains how aggrieved the nation is to see themselves being left in the cold yet again by the crooked party and its dirty trick department. To debate all political parties were invited at the Ramlila Ground to voice their opinion on an open forum. Almost every party obliged the invitation except the swindlers party. As expected the retard Yuvraj of the nasty brigade didn’t appear on the false context that the issue is being discussed in parliament and hence they don’t prefer participating in a parallel debate outside. I wish one from the dirty tricks department should explain if such is the concern for the privilege of the parliament then what made our PM voice about the same topic in a public rally of youth congress few days back?

This suggests the party along with swindlers, crooks and thugs is also full with clowns and hypocrites. They ruled the nation for last fifty years and blame it on BJP’s six year stint for every wrong that is happening with the nation. From bad development of our rural areas to the 40% BPL constituents; from rampant corruption to the law and order mismanagement; they find BJP being the sole culprit as they governed only for six years out of the 65 years. Such shameless is the grand old party that they never are seen standing up and owning up the responsibility but always in the lookout for a scapegoat. And who dares question their loot and indifference automatically becomes an anti-national for them. The moment you question their mis-governance, free hand for one and all to loot, complete lack of transparency, dirty tricks department’s misadventure to malign the image of genuine individuals or even asking uncomfortable questions about Rahul Gandhi’s qualification or caliber and achievement; you are branded as unpatriotic and gag orders are issued against you without delay.

For them perhaps even this piece of article is an unpatriotic and anti-national gesture and I am all but on the mercy of jokers like Kapil Sibal and his stooges to announce if I should have the externment orders be issued against me to get the hell out of this country which seems to belong only to that one party of swindlers and thugs so that a family which lacks in everything and lives on a borrowed surname to thrive and prosper in the loot without being questioned. Because uncomfortable questions would compromise the future prospect of the first family and no wonder Kapil wants people like me and million others are gaged from opinionating and questioning the very ethics and morals of a party and family that seems to have been thrust upon us by a bunch scoundrels and rascals. Kapil, you can take me on as I am the last person who cares even rat’s posterior to clowns like you and others of your dirty trick department and you should realize that while truncheon could be used in lieu of conversation, words would always retain their power. Words offer means to meaning for those who are ready to listen to the enunciation of truth and the truth is, there is something terribly wrong with this country. Isn’t there?

Kapil – There Should Be A Limit To Absurdity

2011-12-07T16:02:00.011+05:30

In last one week I have developed some strong feelings for us as a nation. That, we deserve to remain poor, illiterate, slaves and with all probability be under some kind of dictatorship than the current pseudo democracy.

First it was the strange decision of holding back the justified approach of 51% FDI in retail sector and as recently as yesterday when Kapil Sibal hurriedly called a press meet and announced the installation of a new ministry called the ‘MINISTRY OF SOCIAL WATCHDOGS’ with him being the perpetual head of it. Both these actions are for sure going to get into the history books as ‘ridiculous idiocy marvels’ with Kapil being conferred with the ‘Nishan-E-Taliban’ khitab by the Neanderthal species hebetating the Khyber and Postun regions of Pakistan.

It all started when Kapil Sibal looked more serious than Murulitharan while bowling when he told the gathered press people that henceforth there would be some kind of gag order on what one should or shouldn’t publish on cyber world as a freehand till today has created enough problems for one and all with denting and hurting many individuals and religions. To make sure that none henceforth is allowed to vent their anger and self-maligned goals on cyber world without going unpunished, he himself would readily act as the chief sniffer dog, he added.

Let me not waste any time in congratulating Kapil for this path breaking decision. That said; even though I am a strong believer that there should be some kind of self-regulation and self-moderation before one puts something on the cyber space, the introduction of a gag order seems more scary and damaging than the so called hate work of the cyber world. Isn’t this an effort to snatch away the most important fundamental rights of a democratic framework – that is ‘The Freedom Of Expression’? The Social Networking sites which came under the ire of Kapil are largely being used by the young mass of our population where they feel free to discuss, debate, elaborate, contempt, argue and even out rightly malign an individual or a religion in the process; which in a way gives perspective to one’s wisdom about the happenings around him or her. While this could at times be a little erratic and out of track and too personal for someone’s comfort; but seeing it as a threat to national fabrics and national security so much so that the government of India has to take the task of setting things right on priority is way more exaggerated and a direct attack on individual’s privacy. To say that the effort is to protect people of different religions from the so called hate mongrels, as the main reason for such absurd step is out rightly childish, gibberish and hypocritical to say the least.

Even though the argument could still be accepted on its face value at this juncture, it would be mighty nice of Kapil if he can let all of us know his views on M.F.Hussain painting nude portraits of Hindu Goddesses; if he feels he is the so called custodian of religious sentiments. When half of India was aggrieved by such nonsense art work of Hussain and demanded for some strict action, the same Congress government which now seems to be so serious about religious sentiments went ahead and conferred Hussain with some national award instead. So Kapil either you people were wrong when you never acted on Hussain under the false pretext of ‘Freedom Of Expression’ back then or yesterday when you strangely thought of gagging one and all from free expression as it is hurting religious sentiments. As it seems you have the cake and planning to eat it too, it is highly required to let all of us know which one of your actions is wrong – Hussain being left scot free or the plan to put people behind bars just because they thought of venting something that is genuine.

And for God’s sake stop blaming BJP of being hypocritical as they hound out Hussain out of the country without showing respect to his fundamental rights back then but cry foul if Congress plans to do something of similar nature. In the case of Hussain there was a genuine reason which was supported by Article 153 of our constitution to book him under the law; but for some strange reasons you and your party conveniently looked the other way and gave us that ‘Freedom Of Expression’ nonsense and now when it comes to protect the non-existing image of few of your party carders and more precisely the members of that one family you come up with yet another nonsense.

While you might hide under the false concern of national fabric and only project yourself as a messiah for the same, but truth has a strange phenomenon of coming out of its own. I know where you are coming from Kapil. I know how you want to stop people from writing in length about the amount of scam the current government has accomplished and yet how conveniently you guys have brushed the truth under the carpet. I know you want to stop people from voicing about your vote bank politics and how your latest jingoism is meant to woo a particular community which forms a large vote constituent of the coming UP election. I know you don’t want people to discuss your government’s failure in governance and how you guys have made every government machinery as your personal property. I know you don’t want people to write against that one family which barely has produced any graduate and yet capable enough to have rest of you as their slaves. You don’t want people to discuss on the capability and caliber of the heir apparent.

So why act funny Kapil when the real agenda behind such outrageous attempt at sabotaging one’s fundamental rights is completely different from what you wanted us to believe? We are a mature nation and we all are mature people and can very well understand the real motive behind each of your sabbatical attempt at fooling the masses under the guise of National harmony and National security. Thanks to the enormous number clowns those who have ruled us for last so many years since independence, we now can very well understand each of the dirty tricks from the banks of dirty trick department of Congress.

It Is After All A Matter Of Status Cou.

2011-12-02T15:01:00.005+05:30

Isn’t it for last 9 days that we fail to see even an hour’s work being performed in our parliament? Isn’t it that the partisan politics and personal benefits have taken a new low and virtually stagnated the current parliament session to some unachievable paralysis? The session in which the government promised to accomplish much more than they possibly have done in their last half a dozen year of misrule is in shambles again. No work done and looking at the proceedings, things don’t seem to change in near future either. The session for which the entire nation waited with bated breath as it is supposed to be the session where the Jan Lokpal was planned to be legislated is being ruined by some unnecessary Halla Gulla of BJP and an equally unnecessary and ill-timed announcement of 51% FDI nonsense in retail sector by the Congress to begin with.

At this juncture, when it is alleged that the tax payers are losing a whopping 2 crore for every nonfunctional day at the parliament and issues like Jan Lokpal are waiting to be discussed; shouldn’t our politicians be putting their efforts to break the unnecessary logjam? But alas, that is what far from being happening. Rather being concerned about the nonfunctioning of the parliament, our able politicians are busy convincing through their privilege committee to amend laws in the Motor Vehicle Act to allow member of parliaments to sport red light atop their official vehicles.

Now before we get outraged by such nonchalant behavior of our politicians towards us and our interest, I prefer to take a pause and rethink over the option of mine; if I should swear at them or be rational for a change and accept the facts?

We all love status cou. Don’t we? The pan India phenomenon where almost all of us are seen busy showing one upmanship in our immediate circle all the bloody time, why blame the politicians if they follow the same suite where sporting a red light atop their vehicles is just one avenue to flaunt their status cou? We love to act, enact, flaunt our so called contacts to one and all and demand respect for having a distant relative who happens to be a biggie in political circle. Doesn’t matter if we have met the relative in question in person ever or the last time we met was when Dinosaurs used to roam around this planet; but we love to flaunt as if we don’t have our breakfast without seeing each other’s face.

How many times you have seen that there are poor souls like you and many others who are made to stand in a queue under scorching sun while there are privileged few who were allowed to jump the queue? If that is not good enough, the privileged ones are seen flaunting their achievement and try their best to let all who are still standing in the queue know who the boss is. Breaking the rule with help of cronies from the power circle is what we all of us Indians love. We conveniently get our train tickets confirmed by using politician quota while easily neglecting the genuinely deserving ticket holders, just because they don’t know anyone who can flash his/her status cou for them.

We love to be different and superior from the crowd, even if it means breaking few laws here and there. We feel ashamed if we have to stand in a queue along with sweaty average man to get our things done. We get angry if somebody doesn’t bow down his head after hearing us say – ‘ Jaanta Hai Mera Baap Kaun Hai’. If we love the joy and power of being different and superior and are capable to break the law and yet be unquestioned and shameless enough to flaunt it then why not the politicians for whom status cou is all but their very existence in this planet?

As it is questioning about logic to our beloved politicians is as fruitful as sending Ravindra Jadeja in the power play overs and dangerous too. A current Chief Minister serving his second stint is an example of what can happen when you start asking uncomfortable questions to our politicians and start looking for logic in their actions. No sooner he took oath for the first time B.C.Khanduri of Uttaranchal had to step down because his own MLAs seemed grossly disappointed with him as he urged them to shed away that red light and start behaving like a common man so that they can be closer to the realty. I am sure people like Mr. Khanduri are far and few. A genuine and applauding statement got the flack of its life from his own men just because it interfered with the status cou of the undeserving lot.

And honestly I don’t see a reason why our MPs shouldn’t have the red light on their cars. We all love some show of strength, so does our politicians, which in a way proves another point – they are still human beings. The red light becomes a more paramount issue for them when they see various government employees (much junior in ranks to them) flaunting the same for ages in their vehicle and yet are equally corrupt and useless for the nation.

For once I would cringe to see us shedding our typical Indian mentality of politician bashing and admit the demand of our MPs for the red light is genuine, if not logical or deserving. We all love the status cou and so as our elected representatives. Won’t all of us would love to put the same on our cars, bikes, cycles, provided we are allowed to?

Our Political Class Is Class Apart

2011-11-10T17:32:00.008+05:30

For long we are been governed and ruled by entities who on any given day can give the best highway robbers a run for their money. The definition of democracy and democratically elected representatives is long been maligned by this nefarious political class of India and yet are shameless enough to call themselves as leaders. From scam to hooliganism, these set of scoundrels have accomplished every line that our Indian Penal Code talks about and yet rather being ashamed of their deeds, they flaunt their status-co by roaming around in red light cars on tax payer’s money. More embarrassing is that after being caught with their pants down on numerous occasion most of the lot are still far from the long hands of the law. If these are not early signs of us turning into a banana republic at an alarming pace then I am not sure what it is.

The once political class which has Sardar Patel, Lalbahadur Shastri, Maulana Azad to name few as their constituents is now full with rowdies, goons, thugs of highest magnitude. They loot, they get corrupt at the drop of a hat, they carry out scams of amount which can easily surpass the combined GDP of few African nations, they kill people for personal gain, they even rape women as a matter of fact, and the list is literally endless. The sorry state of our current political scenario is a resultant of the fact that the entire political class who were supposed to be the custodian of the same have turned mongrels and leeches and stooped down to unbelievable level.

They make laws to make sure that enough loopholes are left for their cronies and business friends to exploit and get away with crimes and loot. They ensure that even after such precaution if any close aid is apprehended by the law, they use their power to get them off the hook. Mamta Banarjee storming a Kolkatta police station and shouting at the DG for arresting few goons of her party is a good example of our politician’s belief of them being a law into themselves. Politicians like Mayawati are a notch ahead in the business of being heavily corrupt themselves, in the process making the entire system corrupt. While the growth rate of the state continue to remain pathetically dismal with half of its population is almost starving, Mayawati conveniently looks the other way and keeps on spending thousands of crores of public money in building her own statues and parks all over the state.

Our political classes are best at Mafiosi also. The goons which are inherent with every politician create havoc while their masters are busy siphoning public wealth. Bihar half a decade back was testimony to the hooliganism that an entire political system was carrying out. Lalu Yadav conveniently made hooliganism a state sponsored phenomenon where his followers and stooges were given a free hand to loot, kill, rape, abduct and what not. While the master was busy eating cattle fodder and toilets of Indira Awash Yojna, the followers were busy in extortion, murder and rape at gun point. Even holy cities like Gaya were not spared where it was impossible for females to come out of their house post 7 P.M and go back home without getting raped. Showrooms were forcefully emptied so that new cars can be taken in Barat of Lalu’s close family members. A nephew didn’t thought twice before slapping the station master as Rajdhani was not parked on platform -1 and he has to walk to platform -4 instead. The examples of Lalu’s atrocities and indifference towards law and rules scaled all heights that it possibly could and a point reached where people contemplated of changing the words rowdy and hooligan to Bihari in the dictionary.

Hence it is no wonder which set of people are flocking Tihar of late. While leaders should set examples of good ethics and citizenry attributes, our’s is an exception in that. While they should be role models, they rather are seen occupying cells inside Tihar and various other prisons across the nation. Our political class after decades of looting without any objection or punishment seems to have their luck running out thin. While Raja is languishing for last six months on charges of corruption, the self-styled and self-proclaimed Olympic man of India Suresh Kalmadi is cooling his heels at the same place for pretty much the same reasons. The loving daughter of Karunanidhi is behind bars for quite some time as she thought being the daughter of the supremo of a party which is the second biggest in the running government, she has all rights to get involved in corruption activity and loot with both her hands and yet be remain untouched. Madhu Koda who happens to be the first independent candidate to become the Chief Minister of a state amassed four thousand crore of public money in as many months and now coughing them out slowly but surely inside the jail in Jharkhand. Little did Madhu Koda knew how badly he had to payback for his sins till the time when he was bashed up black and blue by jail inmates and jail authorities last week. Isn’t this shameless overdrive when an ex-CM who once had the power to even dismiss the DG of police is now getting thrashed by police constables?

Our political class is best at gimmickry also. No sooner they are caught in the act they fringe ignorance and term the same as a political conspiracy to malign their non-existing image. Most of them are naturally equipped with the option of getting a chest pain no sooner the law comes calling on them. They act, they enact and fool the masses time and again. They want to enjoy all the power without any accountability. If someone dares to stand up and ask uncomfortable questions they become scoundrels and take shelter under the patriotism shed and start blaming the questioner for being non-patriotic and anti-national. The recent incidence of sending the DG traffic to mental asylum because he openly said the Mayawati government to be the most corrupt in the history of independent India is a proof how rotten our political class can get to safeguard their interest and loot. While they themselves keep with the looting spree, they show fingers at people like Anna Hazare, Arvind Kejriwal and Kiran Bedi just because they feel these guys are asking too many uncomfortable questions, in turn becoming a hindrance in their looting exercise. They want to have their cake and gulp it too and expect the rest of the world should owe up their mess.

The nefarious attributes are endless and one might have to consume rims of paper and yet be half done in jolting down every phenomenon these cunning foxes possess. In nutshell, they can sell you, me and even the nation if they feel it is addressing their greed.