Should They Have Kids?

Should This Famous Former Couple Have Kids?

2009-02-02T09:50:00.000-08:00

Here's a fun little retro couple that was submitted it to us by reader "G.M." for us to judge. In case you don't know (because you're 12-years-old or don't know anything about music), this is an old photo of Bob Dylan and Joan Baez. If they were to have had a kid back in the day, there's probably a 50% chance they would have produced a fantastic musician who could have entertained and inspired a new generation of music fans. Of course, there's also a 50% chance they could have spawned another Wallflowers. Still, it's a risk we're willing to take so we'll say that they should have kids...if there's a time machine somewhere that makes that possible.

If you have a photo of a couple you'd like us to write about, email it to us.

Should Howard Stern and Beth O. Have Kids?

2009-01-30T00:02:00.000-08:00

What better way to wrap up the week than with a look at a celebrity couple? In case you're clueless, the couple in this photo is Howard Stern and Beth O. The obvious answer here is that they should not have kids since Stern's already been there, done that and he's not the youngest guy on the planet any more. However, as huge Stern fans, we're going to go out on a limb and say that they should have kids because in the short term it will give Stern a lot of new material for the show, and in the long term Stern still needs to have a boy that can someday become the Prince of All Media.

Should This Partying Couple Have Kids?

2009-01-29T00:02:00.000-08:00

What we've got here is a couple who parties in places that would advertise that horrific-looking movie "College," a guy that likes to make goofy faces for the camera, and a girl that likes to wear ski hats indoors. We can't with a clear conscience say that these two should have kids.

Should This Grinning Couple Have Kids?

2009-01-28T00:02:00.000-08:00

Now here's a couple that looks like they were made for each other. The glasses, the unruly hair, the rabbit ears sign that nobody in the world thinks is funny except for the two of them...they truly seem made for each other. And those are the smiles that can only come from true love and an extended amount of time playing World of Warcraft. We don't have the heart to deny this happy couple a child so we're going to say that they should have kids.

Should This Possibly Crack-Addicted Couple Have Kids?

2009-01-27T00:02:00.000-08:00

We've got nothing against interracial couples, but we've got everything against doo-rags and old women. Therefore, we have to say that we don't think this couple should have kids. Plus, this guy's grin is creeping us out.

Should This Unpopular With Asians Couple Have Kids?

2009-01-26T00:01:00.000-08:00

We're not exactly sure what's going on here, but this appears to be a white couple dressed in what look like Star Wars outfits kissing each other while a bunch of Asians look on disapprovingly. We weren't sure whether or not they should have kids, but after seeing the look on that one little girl's face, we can only assume that she knows better than us and that she would say they should not have kids.

Should This Lucky Couple Have Kids?

2009-01-21T23:10:00.000-08:00

Either this couple is very skilled at Photoshop and obnoxious enough to actually Photoshop a rainbow into a photograph of themselves, or the Gods are shining on them and they are truly lucky. We'll guess that it's the latter and say that with this kind of luck, they can't afford not to have kids.

Should This Couple In Matching Shirts Have Kids?

2009-01-20T00:02:00.000-08:00

We can't see the head of half of this couple, but we can see enough to make a judgment about them. The only thing worse than couples who wear matching shirts is couples who wear shirts that reference each other's matching shirt. These people are one of the Top 5 things wrong with society - falling somewhere between the popularity of Pinkberry yogurt and MTV's "The Hills." Needless to say, these two should definitely not have kids.

Should This Newly Married Couple Have Kids?

2009-01-19T22:58:00.000-08:00

Look at how happy this newly married couple looks. The chances are this is the happiest they will ever be and since it's probably only going to go downhill from here anyway, they might as well have kids now. That way, they'll at least have to stay together for the kids. That's how most couples do it, right? That's just what we heard.

Should This Cool Couple Have Kids?

2009-01-17T14:17:00.000-08:00

We learned a lot from looking at this picture. First, we had no idea that Shannon Elizabeth had an ugly twin sister. Second, apparently retarded guys are really into fashion and peace signs these days. Handi-capable indeed! Third, just because you're smiling doesn't mean that we're going to say that you should have kids. To be honest, your perma-grins are kind of creeping us out so we think you should not have kids because you'll probably scare them like you scare us.

Should This Couple That Does Lots Of Crunches Have Kids?

2009-01-16T00:07:00.000-08:00

Now here's a nice All-American couple that looks like they know a thing or two about boning. The problem is, they don't look like they're going to know a whole lot about child raising. We predict that their kid will not learn his A-B-C's, but will be raised to become the Michael Jordan of Beer Pong. And beer pong could use a Michael Jordan, so for the sake of that we will go ahead and say this couple should have kids.

Should This Pajama Party Couple Have Kids?

2009-01-15T00:02:00.000-08:00

This is a tough one because we're pretty sure that this dude should not reproduce, but we also would hate to see this pretty lady's genes go to waste. Luckily, we've come up with a solution. We think that they should have kids, but it should be done artificial insemination and she should be implanted with some other dude's sperm. Also, she should make sure that she has a daughter (if that's at all possible). Problem solved.

Should This Airplane Couple Have Kids?

2009-01-14T00:04:00.000-08:00

Couples like this make us nauseous. This is how we envision the conversation between these two went that led up to this photo:

Guy: "Hey babe, wanna go down to the park this afternoon since we both come from ridiculously wealthy families, don't have to work for a living, live in a city where it's always 70 degress and sunny, and there's no black people?"

Girl: "Well, I just took my daily Xanax so I don't see why not? Can I wear my pink leotard, the one you bought me from QVC that looks so good with my denim mom shorts?"

Guy: "Sure, but only if I get to wear my yellow tanktop and blue Umbros."

Girl: "You've got a deal! But you know you're going to have to take me for an airplane ride once we get there, right?"

Guy: "It would be my pleasure."

And...scene.

Ladies and gentlemen, if you see this couple on the street please do not allow them to have kids. Thank you.

Should This Brave Couple Have Kids?

2009-01-13T00:22:00.000-08:00

Yes, we know that this is the first gay couple we've featured on this site and if you have issues with us talking about whether or not a gay couple should have kids...well, go find a site called Should This Homophobic Couple Have Kids and entertain yourself there.

Sexuality aside, this couple seems to have no fear of the stingray that's within inches of them and that kind of bravery means these two will likely do whatever it takes to protect their child, so we believe that they should have kids - as long as they keep that creepy fat guy in the background away from the kid. He looks like he's probably a bad influence.

Should This Seemingly Harmless Couple Have Kids?

2009-01-12T00:03:00.000-08:00

This seems like a harmless enough couple but there's just something about this guy's "rock out" hand gesture that is making us believe they aren't child-rearing material. We feel bad for crushing this nice girl's dreams, but that's what she gets for choosing to pair up with Brett Michaels' last remaining fan. Not only should they not have kids, they should probably start hanging out at parties where people don't leave their pants on the coat table (see the belt on that table? What's that all about?).

Should This Costumed Couple Have Kids?

2009-01-11T00:42:00.000-08:00

Today we've got another Reader Submission - lucky us. This costumed couple was emailed to us from somebody going by the moniker "Bored Guy," which is ironic because we assume this couple is anything but boring.

It's tough to tell much about them because they're in costume, but we're guessing they have quite the interesting sex life. He looks very proud of whatever just happened moments ago and she looks like she's already regretting what she allowed him to do with that clown horn. Still, they seem like a fun couple and at the risk of leaving Gotham to its own defenses while Batman's on diaper duty, we're going to go ahead and say this couple should have kids.

Have a photo of a couple you'd like us to feature? Email it to us!

10 Celebrity Couples Who Should Not Have Kids Under Any Circumstances

2009-01-10T00:04:00.000-08:00

10. Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo
Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones has just poured millions of dollars into building a new stadium for the Cowboys and if his star QB is bound to Jinxica Simpson for life by what would probably be the world’s dumbest baby, the Cowboys are never going to make the playoffs. If Jessica did get pregnant, we’re guessing that Jones would pay some shady Texan a whole lot of money to “make the situation go away.”

9. Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher
We have no idea whether Demi is even still capable of getting pregnant, but we certainly hope she’s not because the idea of the king of Punk’d fathering a baby with America’s most famous cougar makes us feel nauseous. However, if Demi did get pregnant Ashton would probably pay a doctor to tell her that she was having a miscarriage for a very special episode of Punk’d and that would be pretty awesome actually.

8. Reggie Bush and Kim Kardashian
Despite Kim’s impressive birthing hips, the child that could come out of this relationship between football’s most overrated running back and Hollywood’s most overrated celebrity would surely be the world’s most overrated baby. How can a baby be “overrated?” We have no idea, but we bet that this kid would find a way.

7. Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson
We’ve got nothing against lesbian couples raising children, but we’ve got everything against psychotic Hollywood celebrity lesbian couples raising children.

6. Holly Madison and Criss Angel
We’ve got to hand it to Holly, she managed to find the one guy on the planet that would make a worse role model for a child than Hugh Heffner. Sure, Holly’s ex Hef would have taught the kid that it’s ok to date 7 women at one time as long as their collective ages add up to half your age, but what will Criss Angel teach a kid? We’re guessing how to make a fraudulent career disappear.

5. Nicollette Sheridan and David Spade
If a pregnant woman has a face made entirely of plastic, does her baby come out with a plastic face as well? We’re not sure, but we hope that David and Nicollette don’t make us find out. Besides, the only person in favor of this pregnancy would be Nicollette’s plastic surgeon who would surely get some vaginal rejuvenation business out of it after the pregnancy.

4. Artie Lange and Anybody
Howard Stern’s sidekick already has enough problems with his heroin addiction, booze habit, gambling problem, and eating issues without having to be a father. Actually, having a kid is probably the one problem that Artie has managed to avoid so far which can only mean he’s probably due to knock up some sybian-riding Stern superfan this year.

3. Ice T and CoCo
Ice-T’s pimp hand is strong and his wife Coco’s breasts are, well, huge. We worry that they could easily suffocate a small child and we’re big believers in the theory of better safe than sorry.

2. Jim Carrey and Jenny McCarthy
These two can both be really hilarious. The only problem? They can also be really, really annoying. And since we’ve observed that most people once they have kids tend to become less hilarious and more annoying…that formula spells trouble if these two ever procreate.

1. Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt
This was the easiest choice on this whole list. Sure, it’s an obvious choice but that’s why it’s our #1 selection. We can confidently say that there’s not a single person on this planet that would say that these two idiots should have kids and we believe that if we all work together we can make sure that our world is never ruined by their spawn.

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Should This Fanboy Couple Have Kids?

2009-01-09T00:42:00.000-08:00

Pity the poor kid that might wind up having these two as his parents. As if it's not bad enough that they clearly have some issues with reality, to make it worse they seem to be either trying to live vicariously through some obscure characters or (even worse) they've created their own. If you're going to geek out with your life, shouldn't you at least pretend to be characters somebody has heard of before?

But what really convinces us that they shouldn't procreate is that they don't even seem willing to fully commit to these characters. Just because she's rocking purple hair and saggy boobs, doesn't mean that we're going to overlook the fact that her "costume" also includes a belt from Forever 21 and the skirt she wears to work at Barnes and Noble. And dude, nobody's going to be scared of you as long as you're wearing flip flops. A geek couple that can't even commit to their outfits has no business raising a child they would surely name Boba Fett anyway.

Should This Reader-Submitted Couple Have Kids?

2009-01-08T00:04:00.000-08:00

It's a very exciting day today at Should They Have Kids because we've got our first reader-submitted photo. The above couple comes to us from an anonymous Reader who said she doesn't think this couple should have kids. Unfortunately, the Reader didn't give us a reason why she thinks that, but we're going to guess that it has something to do with either this woman's bikini tan lines or the fact that this guy is actually a wax mannequin. Regardless, thanks for the submission!

UPDATE: Our submitter has emailed us back with an explanation of why she thinks this couple shouldn't have kids. Here's what she said:

The reason I would say this couple shouldn't have kids is first based on facial features: The poor kid surely will get stuck with either of their HUGE foreheads, dumbo ears, and his deer-in-headlights expression. Second, I would have to say that just because you put on a tube-top, doesn't mean you look any less like you stepped off a farm! This kid has no chance of being attractive.

Well said, Reader.

If you'd like to submit a photo of a couple for this site, please email it to us and tell us whether or not you think the couple should have a kid (and why).

Should This Disney-Loving Couple Have Kids?

2009-01-07T01:03:00.000-08:00

Judging by this woman's Mark Twain-inspired fashion choices, we've got a good feeling that if these two had a kid then the kid would be a great candidate for our other blog. That aside, any couple that goes to Disneyland and poses for pictures with Astronaut Mickey (or whatever that is) clearly has some issues and is not fit to be parents. We recommend that they keep our planet the happiest place on earth by keeping his small world out of her thunder mountain for the foreseeable future.

Should This Tattooed Couple Have Kids?

2009-01-06T00:06:00.000-08:00

Judging from their tats, we're guessing there's at least a 50% chance that this couple lives in an apartment above the tattoo shop they own. And by own, we mean work at in exchange for being allowed to sleep on a futon in the back room of the shop. That might not be the best environment to raise a kid in, but at least they seem to be in love and have a swimming pool membership. That's enough to convince us that they should have a kid.

Should The King And Queen Of Hip Hop Have Kids?

2009-01-05T00:01:00.000-08:00

Now this is an easy one. Should the current queen of R&B and one of the sexiest women on the planet have a kid with her man, who may just be the greatest rapper alive? Absolutely. After all, the offspring of Beyonce and Jay-Z might be the only thing that could save the world from the Jonas Brothers in the future.

Should This Street Fair Couple Have Kids?

2009-01-04T00:02:00.000-08:00

At first glance, we thought this was a float in some kind of coal-mining town parade so imagine our surprise when we realized that this was actually a couple. That being said, we can't possibly recommend that these two have kids because this woman looks like she's one pregnancy away from becoming the woman that gets carted out of her house on a flatbed truck in a "very special" episode of the Jerry Springer show.

Should This Smiling Couple Have Kids?

2009-01-03T00:01:00.000-08:00

There can only be one possible reason why a woman that looks this good would actually be smiling when she's with a guy that looks like this - it's because whatever that guy is doing with his hand to her beneath the table is rocking her world. Don't believe us? Then how do you explain the creepy "I'm elbow deep in love juice" grin that this guy has on his face?

Anyway, we believe that a couple that knows how to make each other happy (as hard to believe as it may be in this particular case) will also create a happy home for their offspring. Therefore, we begrudgingly admit that this couple should have kids. What do you think?

Should This Meth Couple Have Kids?

2009-01-02T00:10:00.000-08:00

Ahh...isn't there something kind of beautiful about meth-head love? People act like meth is this horrible drug that ruins people's lives, but without meth do you think that this woman would really be able to overlook this guy's combover? And without meth, do you think this guy would really be able to overlook the fact that her gut is bigger than her boobs? We certainly don't.

However, we also don't think it's a great idea to raise a kid in a meth lab, so we're going to go out on a limb and say these two should not have a kid.