crumblintumblinmumblin

Satu perkara ;
Yang tak mungkin kau sebut ;
I miss you.
Satu perkara ;
Yang tak mungkin kau faham.
I miss you.
Satu perkara ;
Yang mungkin kau tak tahu ;
I miss you.
Satu perkara ;
Yang mungkin kau tak sedar ;
I miss you.
Satu perkara ;
Yang tak mungkin aku sebut ;
I miss you.
Satu perkara ;
Yang tak akan aku ucap ;
I miss you.
Satu perkara ;
Yang kau perlu tahu ;

I miss you so much.

Untitled douze

2012-07-31T13:58:00.001+08:00

Untitled douze by shrzkml featuring leather jackets

Miss Selfridge white shirt
$11 - missselfridge.com

H M leather jacket
$14 - hm.com

Miss Selfridge high waisted shorts
$47 - missselfridge.com

Kangol satchel bag
$47 - debenhams.com

House of Harlow 1960 turquoise jewelry
$39 - houseoffraser.co.uk

With Love From CA hair accessory
pacsun.com

Untitled onze

2012-07-31T13:48:00.001+08:00

Untitled onze by shrzkml featuring wooden rings

Miss Selfridge coral shirt
missselfridge.com

Rich & Skinny denim skinny jeans
theoutnet.com

Wet Seal flat ballerina shoes
wetseal.com

Teardrop earrings
macys.com

Wooden ring
idontlikemondays.us

Untitled dix

2012-07-31T13:37:00.001+08:00

Untitled dix by shrzkml featuring cut out tops

Cut out top
topshop.com

H M short skirt
$4.70 - hm.com

Dolce Vita wedge shoes
piperlime.gap.com

Proenza Schouler messenger shoulder bag
lagarconne.com

Untitled neuf

2012-07-31T13:26:00.001+08:00

Untitled neuf by shrzkml featuring aldo jewelry

Oasis pleated dress
$55 - oasis-stores.com

Steve Madden platform heels
$76 - houseoffraser.co.uk

Chanel bag
$5,890 - matchesfashion.com

Belle Noel by Kim Kardashian long necklace
metroparkusa.com

Aldo jewelry
aldoshoes.com

Versace perfume
dillards.com

Untitled huit

2012-07-31T13:20:00.001+08:00

Untitled huit by shrzkml featuring flat shoes

Splendid long dress
$94 - net-a-porter.com

Vanessa Bruno blazer
lagarconne.com

Tapeet flat shoes
$135 - net-a-porter.com

Marc by Marc Jacobs leather tote
marcjacobs.com

River Island stud earrings
asos.com

Ring
gojane.com

Untitled sept

2012-07-31T13:13:00.001+08:00

Untitled sept by shrzkml featuring a vintage shoulder bag

Dorothy Perkins button up dress
dorothyperkins.com

FOSSIL vintage shoulder bag
nordstrom.com

Hermes jewelry
usa.hermes.com

Marc jacobs eyewear
marcjacobs.com

Untitled six

2012-07-29T20:32:00.001+08:00

Untitled six by shrzkml featuring patterned leggings

Patterned legging
romwe.com

Madewell shoes
madewell.com

Quentin Mackay cross body shoulder bag
$630 - harveynichols.com

Eyewear
idontlikemondays.us

Tech accessory
zazzle.com

Movie time with love

2012-07-29T20:22:00.001+08:00

Movie time with love by shrzkml featuring a hobo shoulder bag

Rare London high neck dress
$72 - bankfashion.co.uk

Suede heels
stylesforless.com

Reed Krakoff hobo shoulder bag
reedkrakoff.com

Hillier heart earrings
openingceremony.us

Multi chain necklace
$175 - farfetch.com

Of maxi dress and anchor earing .

2012-07-29T19:01:00.001+08:00

Of maxi dress and anchor earing . by shrzkml featuring anchor earrings

Jane Norman bandeau maxi dress
$55 - janenorman.co.uk

Boucle jacket
topshop.com

Smythson navy blue handbag
smythson.com

Anchor earrings
swellcaroline.com

hi

2012-07-11T02:01:00.002+08:00

Hi ,

Ai rasa nak menangis u'olls . Okbye

Relationship issuessss

2012-07-10T17:47:00.000+08:00

Heyyaaaa.

I love falling in love, it's sweet, but I hate breaking up. That is when everything is sour, bitter and ugly. I hate it when we have to say all the ugly things about our previous partner, and remember all the shits they did. How I wish breaking up is an easy job. Anyway, that is not why I decided to blog this up.

Few days ago , I met my high school friends. And you know, we girls talk about boys a lot. So, one of them talks about her ex boyfriend, about why she decided to end their relationship. A week before that, my other friend talked to me about her boyfriend, cheating behind her back, doing things she dislikes and all.

I'm an observant, I like to observe and take it as a lesson. After listening to all the stories about my friends past and current relationship scares me. I'm afraid that it might happen to me too. I know I know there's nothing I can do to stop it from happening, but says who ? Staying out of relationship is the safest. I'm not into the love game like Gaga did.

I love a person because I want to love, to be loved, and spread the love not to be cheated to be played, to be hurt or to cry in the middle of the night. I don't know where relationship can take me. After listening about all the terrible things a guy capable of, the image of the guy that I like rushes in. He's a nice guy, no doubt. But, he's too nice to be true. Sedangkan yang rupa nerd pun boleh curang and did all the crazy things, ini kan dia. Not that I'm trying to say that he's good looking. Tapi he's quite tampan *okay kawan kawan ayuh muntah berjemaah*. But that's not what makes me fell for him. I shall not tell you about it here.

Let say, kalau he likes me back and told me about all the shits he did before, mampu ke aku nak terima ? I'm not an angel, aku tahu aku pun tak baik mana. Tapi one thing for sure, I won't repeat all the bad things I did before. Tapi dia lelaki, he's capable of doing whatever he wants. Kalau dia sekadar contact ex-grilfriend dia saja tak apa, jangan keluar lepak berdua. Eish banyak betul yang aku takutkan. Pokoknya, aku takut.

Okbye, mood dah hilang sebab takut sangat .

Opah

2012-07-04T03:42:00.002+08:00

Assalamualaikum,

This entry is for my opah is grandmother, my mother's mother. She's more than just my grandmother, she's a good friend of mine. I don't know how to say this, but to me she's not ill. Opah cuma ada alzheimer and I don't think it's a huge deal. She's 87, what do you expect. Aku memang rapat dengan opah, sejak lahir lagi. Opah memang dah lama tinggal sekali dengan kami, dari aku lahir lagi. Rumah Bercham itu lah rumah ketiga opah, selepas rumah Pdg. Ampang dengan rumah Uncle Yob (my mother's eldest brother). So I've been staying together with my opah for almost 20years. At first, masa opah started to get Alzheimer, aku macam quite bengang. I was immatured at that time. Tahap kesabaran tipis, Alzheimer ni penyakit macam nyanyuk but I think it is nyanyuk. So at the beginning of it, opah kept repeating same stories, and opah lupa macam mana nak buka kipas and tv. Aku yang diusia 12-13, usia tidak mudah bersabar, cepat je nak marah selalu malas layan soalan dan cerita opah. Jahat, I know. Walaupun aku marah-marah opah, aku tetap sayangkan opah. Aku tidak pernah terbayang satu hari aku terpaksa terima berita such as "Opah dah takde dengan kita". That's just unacceptable. Bukan aku tak boleh terima qada' dan qadar cuma ...

Opah seorang yang sangat suka makan aiskrim, paling suka makan aiskrim cawan sebab opah tak pandai makan aiskrim batang. Masa aku separa kecil, darjah 5-6 macam tu, aku suka sangat kayuh basikal. Since she love icecream so much, she'd ask me to go to the shop and get her icecream. And sometimes I'd buy her a tub of icecream. Apa yang paling aku ingat pasal opah ialah opah merupakan cikgu matematik aku yang paling tiptop. Opah sekolah sampai darjah tiga, tapi opah lah yang paling cekap dalam kira kira. Opah yang selalu ajar matematik, and aku yang benci matematik ni, selalu cari alasan bila opah nak ajar matematik, selalu saja lari ikut pintu belakang selamat kan diri. Lagi satu, opah ini pantang dengar orang ada gigi goyang. Mesti opah nak cabutkan, opah selalu tak bagi pergi dentist sebab katanya membazir. Kalau gigi aku goyang, aku selalu diam. Aku bagitahu mak je, I'd never let opah know about it. Sebab opah mesti akan nak tolong cabutkan. She'd tie gigi yang goyang tu denga thread and ikat benang tu dekat pintu, lepas tu tarik pintu tu. Gigi tu confirm tercabut. Kelakar pun ada. Not just that, opah suka tolong cuci kan daki belakang telinga, tapi sakit gila. Sampai nak menangis, sebab opah akan pakai minyak masak untuk gosok. Memang sakit cerita dia.

Sebenarnya, opah merupakan orang yang penting dalam hidup aku. Aku tak pernah bayang akan kehilangan opah. Last Wednesday, aku sempat balik Ipoh jenguk opah lepas dapat tahu opah tak sihat. Tapi aku rasa relax je, sampai lah aku sampai Ipoh dan tengok sendiri keadaan opah. Aku tak pernah tengok opah sebegitu lesu. Opah tak pernah macam tu sepanjang opah dekat rumah Bercham. So it was very hard for me, to see her in such condition. Opah dah berapa hari tak lalu makan, tak lalu minum. Opah demam, bila panggil doktor, doktor boleh senang lenang cakap makcik ni memang tak boleh hidup lama dah. Aku tahu aku tamak sebab aku nak opah yang dah 87tahun itu terus hidup. Tapi adilkah bagi doktor itu untuk menyatakan sesuatu seperti itu kepada kami yang harap opah dapat bertahan. Aku memang tak dapat nak tahan air mata masa tengok opah. Sebulan lepas baru aku ziarah opah, suapkan opah aiskrim,baring dengan opah, gelak dengan opah, aku sempat cerita pasal Baby dekat opah tapi tak dapat nak tunjuk gambar sebab aku rasa aku boleh bawa orang itu jumpa opah. Tapi semua itu harapan, maka hari rabu petang itu aku terus balik Shah Alam sebab Jumaat ada paper French.

Keesokan hari, as aku goreng keropok lekor for breakfast mak received call from Uncle Kamali. Nada suara mak terkawal, tapi bila mak sebut nama Pak Por aku dah mula rasa semacam. Mak sikit tak menangis sebab terkejut, aku tanya mak banyak kali sebelum mak sempat letak telefon sebab aku memang dah rasa lain. Lepas mak letak je, mak cakap yang opah dah takde. Takde perkataan yang sesuai untuk gambarkan betapa aku terkejut. Aku rasa macam mimpi, aku rasa macam aku tengah tidur, macam aku tak dengar sebenarnya apa yang mak cakap. Aku takdapat tahan airmata lagi. Selepas inform kakak aku, aku bagitahu kawan aku yang sorang ni sebab as soon as aku sampai Shah Alam, dialah orang yang sembang dengan aku pasal opah. Dia orang first yang tanya condition opah.

Tengah hari tu juga aku dan boyot terus balik Ipoh. Bila sampai rumah Aunty Nor, aku nampak opah dekat living room. Aku masih rasa macam mimpi. Aku tak sanggup nak pergi tengok, pedih dekat hulu hati yang tak terkata. Macam ada luka kecil tapi pedih, perit sangat. Aku sempat cium opah untuk diri sendiri dan dia. Aku lap airmata sekering kering mungkin, agar tiada airmata aku menitis di tubuh opah. As soon as aku cium opah for the last time, I ran to my mother. Aku menangis macam budak kecik dekat mak, uncles aku cuma mampu datang usap kepala aku dan cakap jangan menangis. Hari rabu aku bawak balik instax, niat nak tangkap gambar dengan opah. Tapi terlupa. Kenangkan lagi seminggu nak balik Ipoh lagi, aku pun cakap lah takpe lah kalau macam tu, dah terlupa. Minggu depan mesti tangkap dengan opah. Tiba tiba minggu depan mesti tangkap dengan opah itu something yang impossible. Sampai tanah perkuburan, as aku tengok orang tu kambus tanah tu semula, air mata aku mengalir macam air terjun tapi dalam keadaan terkawal. Aku terkilan sebab aku takde disisi opah disaat saat akhirnya.

Terlalu banyak kenangan aku dengan opah, aku terlalu rindukan opah. Walaupun aku tersenyum dan tergelak pada luaran, dalam hati aku tak siapa nampak lautan yang aku tangisi. Aku cuma harap Opah ditempatkan dikalangan orang yang beriman dan semoga Opah tenang nun jauh disana. Al-fatihah.

I Miss You Opah, I'm gonna miss you forever.

Love,

Ija :)

Dear Diary

2012-06-26T02:27:00.002+08:00

Hi, its 26/6/12 2:23AM . And I'm all alone in my living room, thinking of you and good times we shared. I'm not sure what's going on with us, or is it just me ? I'm think I'm the sick person here. I miss you very much. I just don't know how to put it in words. How I wish I could run to you now. I can't even remember your face, I don't think I could recognize you anymore. Over dramatic ? Yeah. Sorry for being over dramatic.

I miss you , I miss you and I miss you. Everything reminds me of you. Brushing my teeth in the morning is also one of the hardest thing in life now and it's all because of you. I miss you gila :(

Year 9

2012-06-23T00:48:00.001+08:00

It's almost nine years now, and I really miss him. No words could describe it. Few years back was the toughest. I'm not sure if things that happened back then were some kind of crisisssss or it's just a bump. I didn't enjoy the ride, and still hating it now. Things between us seems cold, we didn't talk or laugh as much as we used to. And from my calculation I might need to wait for another 10 years. This is bad , and I hate this very much. :'(

Abnormality strikes

2012-06-17T01:45:00.002+08:00

Hi ,

This is abnormal , immissinghimmorethanevernow. My bad :(

Sincerely,

Thegirlwhowantsyoutoknow.