crumblintumblinmumblin

I'm deadly in love with the song , it has a very deep meaning. One may not understand it very well, that should be me. But from what I can interpret, the song speak our language, the girls language. If only I can erase the pain using the make up remover. Even some make up remover can't remove the eyeliner stain.

the 5th semester

2012-01-29T02:27:00.000+08:00

Things are a lot harder this semester. A lot of assignments awaits, limited time. I think it's gonna be the busiest semester as we had to organise and event. A lot of issues came up, as usual. Sorted that out already, well done. And my team & I are still discussing about our major event of the year. It is one big project, it's an honor to lead the team. I hope I'll be doing a good job. And yeah, about the event class. We had to organise an event, previously the original idea was to organise a "where music meets art" event. Music and art shows are combine, both at one place and at one time. It was indeed a very good idea, but we had a huge deal regarding the budget as we are no rich kid. My dad is no Tan Sri to sponsor our event. Okay the budget wasn't really a huge deal that made us cancel the plan. It was because the faculty itself is organising few charity events to raise money for the Somalia campaign. As our project manager hands in the proposal to the dean, the dean gave her an idea. Why don't we get the campaign done because what the campaign needs is people to run the event and make it successful.

I bet everybody can guess this, about half of the class disagree with the idea of running the Somalia campaign. However, after thinking it through we all decided to just go with it as we already had faced few difficulties regarding the original plan. And then, the project manager and few MTs, came up with a new plan which will be revealed soon enough. As for Mr.Dat's class , hurm I don't have anything to say. The rest is quite fine. I don't know why, but this semester hurm it feels more like internship period. It's not like going to class like before, maybe because we weren't assigned with ayam ayam's assignment.

Enough of Semester 5 so far, will update more later on when I have the time

I am one complex creature

2012-01-29T02:07:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I don't need someone to answer my questions, sometimes I just need a hug or a friend to listen to me. I don't ask for much, not that I'm asking for money or millions of friends virtually or physically. I just need a friend who would be there when I need him/her, you don't need to give me an advice, just lend me your ears. Our populations are approximately 7billion, but I can hardly find 1 decent person who would lend their ears and spare their time without saying bad things about me behind my back. The moment I thought I have everything is the moment that I finally realised that I actually have nothing, nothing to boast about, nothing to be happy about. You might think that I always sound ungrateful, I just cant express my gratitude. I know I should be happy with what I have, but what do I have apart from my life, families, health and wealth ? Friends ? I don't think I have any of them, not to say that I really don't have any, but I don't have any friends who didn't talk behind my back. I'm plainly sorry

The 4th Semester

2011-12-15T00:15:00.000+08:00

Hi Hello . I'm back , after quite a long time. I haven't been blogging for quite some time because I'm running out of words and topics. My life eversince I stopped blogging didnt go well. I wasn't as happy as I used to be, I think thats crystal clear and I cant put concealer to it.

I have stopped wearing my nicest clothes, putting on make up, or even wear shoes to class. I don't know what makes me feel ugly inside. So ugly even clothes and make up couldn't do the trick.

I must say that semester 4 is the toughest semester ever. I spent many sleepless thinking about alot of things. I didn't miss any class so far, but I didnt even give 100% concentration either. In semester 4, I also learnt that it's very important to pick the right team mates and friends. I'm not saying that I picked a lousy team mates , no . Theyre awesome and fine, but what makes me think that its hard is sometimes you can never say those things you wish to say. First and foremost because they are your/my friends. And then because you know each other well, it's hard for you to be so self-centered and inconsiderate. No matter how hard you tried to please others, you can never satisfy them.

Not just that, I let someone in and ruled my heartdom. I ended up feeling terrible, and lose my focus on important task. I feel so lonely. Feeling like a stranger all the time. I really need help with this but too bad I kept thinking too much. And those things that I've been thinking about are negative stuffs. I took things seriously and spent those sleepless nights crying in my room. See, I'm blogging craps. Nobody wants to know about this.

And now what upsets me the most is my English is uber terrible. I'm really not happy with it. I know the key to good English is to read a lot and I haven't been reading for a long time. I almost forgot the scent of the bookstore. I used to love the bookstore a lot. I miss it a lot. I miss doing things that I didn't do any longer.

I miss having free time , I miss going out , I miss hanging out , I miss karaoke , I miss movie marathon , I miss Ipoh , I miss having good friends , I miss being noticed , I miss being loved by all .

Semester 4, you gave me trouble. You put me in a lot of misery and sadness. I just can not forget everything you did to me. Those are memories that will stay for a long time, but I am not happy about everything that happened.

With such result I get at the end of the semester, it's not what I expected. I thought I'm going to nail Research & Methodologies, but I didn't manage to even get a B. I'm terribly sad. Felt sorry for myself , I'm such a loser.

Dorothy Perkins blazer

2011-12-08T01:36:00.001+08:00

Dorothy Perkins blazer (see more drape jackets)

To class

2011-12-06T00:39:00.001+08:00

To class by shrzkml featuring slim fit black jeans

Dolce Gabbana sleeveless top
$318 - theoutnet.com

Vest
£22 - desireclothing.co.uk

AG Adriano Goldschmied slim fit black jeans
$230 - stylebop.com

H&M brogue shoes
£25 - hm.com

H M zip bag
£9.99 - hm.com

Miu Miu genuine leather belt
$275 - net-a-porter.com

kerepek sedap

2011-12-04T03:26:00.000+08:00

Salah satu sebab kenapa aku suka berlakon dan teringin nak jadi pelakon bukan sebab aku nak kejar populariti atau glamour. Tapi aku suka get in character , aku suka nak explore pelbagai perasaan yang tidak dapat aku rasa dalam kehidupan sebenar. Aku suka nak memperluaskan perasaan aku , lakukan perkara yang aku tak dapat buat dalam realiti. Lakonan bagaikan canvas aku.

Kalau reality aku tak dapat rasa "cinta sejati" , aku nak bawa watak berkaitan cinta sejati . Aku nak lakonkan watak yang pelbagai , yang mampu mencabar batasan emosi aku. Kerana aku tahu , hanya lakonan mampu berikan aku kepuasan dari segi emosi. Aku cuma nak luahkan yang terpendam , katakan yang terdiam .

Kerana aku adalah aku ,
Si becok di mulut yang realitinya bisu di hati ,
Kerana aku rasa adalah salah untuk menangis dimata ,
Kerana aku rasa adalah salah untuk biar tangisan dilihat ,
Seolah itu jenayah.