Shuffling through life with my i-pod

Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater- A review

2017-03-13T18:29:00.001-07:00

by Nahyr Galaz Ruiz

March 13, 2017

If you’re like me; a self-described dance aficionado and supporter of the arts, you’ve most likely hear of Alvin Ailey Dance Theater. In fact, you may have caught the PBS special a few months ago. I’ve had the fortune to have seen Alvin Ailey Dance Theater performance a few times in recordings, a dance major often times my professors would play us excerpts of certain performances to study a choreographic style, a particular approach to theory, or an aesthetic. I also recently watched the special with my four year old daughter and soaked in the delight of her imitating the beautiful movement she saw on the screen. However, let me be clear; nothing, absolutely nothing compares to seeing the splendor of the Alvin Ailey Dane Theater company dancers live.

The curtain opened for the first piece, “Deep” by Mauro Bigonzetti. An array of dancers half-lit in angular lighting, dressed in black dance shorts and sheer tops, begin to move their torso, spine, and hips sensually; their movement quickly becomes a hypnotic wave of undulating fluidity. As the choreography progresses, each dancer’s fluid undulations are juxtaposed by staccato gestures and sharp angular lines. As male dancers enter the stage, they strike a Grecian arrow like pose and each dancer’s right elbow begins to figure eight in the space immediately before each female dancer’s core; the figure eight of their elbows affects the other dancers’ bodies. The result is a sensual painting of bodies with elbows; undulating cores, spines, and neck through the top of their heads. The dancers’ bodies become increasingly connected without once touching and reach a climax of fluidity and unity. Their bodies surrender into a vigorous partnering section where all three couples demonstrate equal strength, agility, virtuoso, luxurious lines, breath-taking technical skill, and grace. The piece progresses in showcasing each dancer’s gazelle-like agility; exhausting the dichotomy between sensual fluidity, delicate grace, strong lines, fierce height, and sharp gestures. The partnering throughout the piece depicted a very clear equality of strength and ability on both male and female dance partners; though the piece remained within the traditional roles of male dancers doing most of the lifting, there were moments when the choreography executed depended heavily on a female dancer’s ability to support her partner’s weight- a refreshing and poignant visual aesthetic. “Deep” manages to be visually striking throughout the length of the piece; not one section is any less visually impressive than another. From the sharp gestures, to each dancer’s long, linear, extensions, to the gorgeous partnering, to the last imagery of a single dancer walking over the mass of the other’s bodies only to end in a upper body curve, curved ‘angel-like’ arms, and high parallel releve, to the effective simplicity of the costumes and the strategically chosen moments of dramatic lighting; “Deep” is a visual masterpiece.

After a short intermission, the stage was set for the next piece, “Walking Mad,” by Johan Inger. This work, which employs an incredibly versatile set piece; a wall that folds, breaks, drops, stands, and almost feels like another performer onstage is definitely a nod to the choreographic style that Inger brought to the Nederlands Dans Theater. The piece, set to Maurice Ravel’s “Bolero,” begins with a mysterious dancer dressed in a trench coat and fedora who wanders onto the stage and into the curtain which has not yet been raised; he peeks under the curtain and ‘lifts’ the curtain. A woman is walking around the stage picking up random articles of clothing that are thrown about the stage, the previous dancer takes off his trench coat and hands it to her; presumably to add to her pile; she ignores him and walks away. Suddenly the wall, which has lined the upstage area, moves quickly from upstage to downstage; a force that pushes him all the way downstage. A white rag drapes over the top of the wall, a door opens; he walks through it and disappears. As the piece continues, it evolves from a comedic duet between a woman who is attempting to flirt with a man, to a piece in which she’s caught by distorted reflection of herself. All the while the wall is climbed on and over, sections of it are broken off and danced on top of, the whole thing drops and is subsequently lifted, its folded, doors open within it; it becomes a breathing entity within the choreography. The piece effortlessly transitions from the hilariously absurd, to the gracefully combative duet of a couple’s relationship, to a melancholic and bittersweet piece about letting go. Alvin Ailey’s interpretation of one of Inger’s most notable works is unique in that the Ailey company made the purposeful and bold artistic choice to stop the music after the party section. This allowed for the following solo and duet to be absorbed in an almost complete silence; making way for the movement and silence to fill the emotional spaces the audience experienced. As the couple’s relationship went from tentative and new, to aggressive and combative; the music broke back into our senses in an equally jarring section of the melody as was the struggle depicted onstage. “Walking Mad” brilliantly showcased the multifaceted technical and stylistic aptitude of the Ailey company.

The last piece in the program was one of Alvin Ailey’s most notable original works and a true American masterpiece; “Revelations.” Comprised of three sections; Pilgrim of Sorrow, Take Me To The Water, and Move, Members, Move, “Revelations” is a deeply moving choreographic and artistic exploration into the joy, the sorrow, the resilience, the give and the hope of the human spirit. Originally choreographed in 1960 by Alvin Ailey and echoing Ailey’s own “blood memories,” of growing up in rural Texas, this work has withstood the tests of time because it transcends cultures and interweaves our shared humanity. Set to a mélange of traditional gospel songs, song-sermons, and worship blues, each section in “Revelations,” draws the audience into a profoundly human experience. The first section, Pilgrim of Sorrow, moves in an almost reverence of grand port de bras, open torsos, and suspended extensions juxtaposed by dynamic, hopeful and powerful praise-like gestures. Take Me To The Water was a joyous choreographic experience rich with vivid imagery, props, and beautiful costumes. The powerful vocals and soothing melodies in the music were augmented by the graceful, strong, emotive, spiritually and emotionally transcending dancing onstage. The final piece, Move, Members, Move, opened with a powerhouse piece that demanded strong technique as well as graceful physicality from the dancers. As the first song reaches its whirlwind crescendo, the piece transitions to a wholly joyful, hopeful, sassy and lively choreography reminiscent of Sunday worship of the South in the depression era.

A powerful movement reflection on the human condition; the Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater continues to hold the position of a dance company that you simply must experience.

An Open Letter from Me to You.

2016-11-10T13:06:00.000-08:00

Dear Reader,

The moment the results of this election were made clear, my heart sank. I grew solemn; the witty and sarcastic jokes on our favorite late-night shows were no longer of solace. I cried. I actually cried. I didn’t cry because my candidate didn’t win, I didn’t cry because I’m a “whiny, liberal millennial.” I cried because on November 9, 2011; hate won.

Let me be clear; this election was not about politics, this election was about humanity. We lost our humanity in this election. I cried, alike many people across the nation, because I am mourning our loss of our basic human decency… I cried because I am truly heartbroken by the message that racism, misogyny, xenophobia, Islamophobia, and homophobia are acceptable in our highest office reverberated loud and clear. In the past two days I have cried because I see the uninhibited attacks on people of color, members of the LGBTQ community, women, Muslims, Latinx and immigrants that have already unleashed in parts of our country where I would least expect it; places like Los Angeles and San Diego.

But I have to believe that there are those of you out there who voted for the President-elect (or perhaps didn’t vote at all), because the system has failed you and you are tired. I no longer wish to lecture you about the dangers of turning a blind-eye to his hate rhetoric because you are against perceived socialism, hate Obama, or a liberal-progressive agenda. The time for that has passed. Instead I want you to know that I understand that you feel disenfranchised, that you are tired and want an agent for change, that you believe the President-elect will make America prosperous again, and that you are fed up with the establishment. I sincerely do hope that I am wrong about him and that he is able to catalyze positive change and put into effect the economic policies that spoke to your vote. However, if you voted for the now President-elect but disagree with racist, misogynistic, homophobic, and Islamophobic rhetoric and violence against others…. I implore you to denounce it. I implore you to speak up and be strong for those who are facing very legitimate fears. Use your white privilege to be an ally for those who are facing the aftermath of this election; who are being targeted by a level of hate and violence that now feels free to come out in the daylight. I may not agree with your political views, I may be too liberal for you to feel connected to me, but I think we can agree on our views on humanity and morality. Smashing a beer bottle over a gay man’s head is a hate crime. Pulling a hijab off a woman hard enough to choke her and yelling threats at her is a hate crime. Grabbing a women’s genital area and calling her obscenities at a gas station because she had a Bernie sticker on her car is a hate and sexual assault crime. If you are disturbed by these events, if the pointing these out to you by me or others on social media makes you uncomfortable; it should.

Today, in the aftermath of this election, the issue is not the person elected. It is what that individual has incited for the past 17 months in our country. The permissiveness to be openly hateful, intolerant, even violent. As we try to find a way to bridge our national gap, to transcend the divisiveness that has defined our country, I urge you to begin by showing empathy and kindness to the people who are genuinely afraid of their national peer’s sentiments towards them. I ask that you remember your humanity.

Let’s be a safe place for each other, be strong for each other. Please do not dismiss what is happening as whining because we didn’t get our way. Please understand that this is a response to issues about human rights. Men, be an ally to women who feel unsafe to walk alone; if you see harassment happening, say something. Use your white privilege to offer protection, love, comfort, and solace to LGBTQ, Muslim, Latinx, African-American, and Immigrant people who feel afraid for themselves, their children and their families.

Let us lead by example and show our children (as well as each other) that we are still better than our politics. That our humanity can transcend differing views and that kindness can change the world.

If you want to see some examples of the small or larger things other have done or are doing:

In the aftermath of the San Bernardino shooting, church members unite to express their tolerance of their Muslim neighbors: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/san-bernardino-muslims-interfaith_us_566620e3e4b072e9d1c75a50

https://twitter.com/msalimkassam/status/796687226872692736

And Artists, Filmmakers, Dancemakers, et al; I’m actively looking to collaborate with you and DO something to give an show our support and tolerance for one another is this social climate. I don’t know what yet. I’m open to ideas; let’s embrace our brothers and sisters who are feeling alone and afraid.

If you are out there right now afraid to walk alone, afraid to wear your hijab, afraid to be yourself, afraid for your status in this country- I stand with you, you matter to me, I value you and your contribution to the cultural fabric of this country and I see you. And the 5 year old little girl who didn’t speak English and once cried feeling alone and scared while her classmates sang “Old McDonald,” but who’s teachers, other kind children, church members and neighbors embraced and made to feel wanted and welcome; she empathizes with you and I will do all I can to extend to you the same kindness that saved me.

Love must win,

Nahyr

What's Going On...

2016-09-21T22:05:00.001-07:00

Senseless violence, death, devastation, fear, anger- all the result of the latest black lives taken in the last couple of days. Add to this the bombings over the weekend in New York that once again struck an all-too familiar terror in our hearts....Our conversations are once again overtaken by a rhetoric of justified outrage, our minds our hijacked by the impossible search to understand how this continues to happen, and our hearts ache for the endless suffering and loss of human lives.

I've spent a few days trying to process this. Upset that we have become so desensitized as a society that Angelina and Brad Pitt's divorce announcement causes more empathy and outrage than two black men unjustly killed at the hands of police officers, outraged that the death toll from police shootings continues to rise and yet we cynically deny the systemic nature of these killings, and rocked to my core that not but a few days after the anniversary of 9/11 New York endured more bombings; this time those affected directly included refugees fleeing those very bombings.

What's Going On.

"Mother, Mother there's too many of you crying.

Oh Brother, Brother, Brother there's far too many of you dying.

You know we've got to find a way to bring some loving here today..."

This song by Marvin Gaye was originally inspired by "Obie" Benson's witnessing of police brutality in Berkeley in 1969. In 2000, a group of artists got together to cover the song in an all-star tribute that included the likes of Bono, Christina Aguilera, Gwen Stefani, Britney Spears, Backstreet Boys, Destiny's Child, Wyclef Jean, and more. Sixteen years later, the song is heartbreakingly all too relevant.

As I listened to this song, I came across an old poem I wrote in 2006. I was trying to process the ongoing Juarez Femicides, the ongoing war and violence oversees, and the increasing violence in our own backyard. So I turned to my pen, and as I read it today, I realize in that in 10 years we still haven't found our humanity.

yet to be titled Jan 2006

Yet to be titled Jan 2006

The child stands there a salted tear rolling down her dusted cheek

staring at the back of promises no one here could ever keep

Her mother disappeared three days ago

"she asked too many questions" says the man next door-

Bullets, fire, and rape are part of everyday life

here the church is the president's prostitute; violence his wife..

Yet as long as we go on pretending we can insist

that this child, 'her' world, and 'her' truth don't exist---

Papa never said, "as long as we hold our tongues we won't be the bait"

soldiers never came to say "old man this is your fate."

The government didn't make her family disappear

blame it on the people who won't respond to fear

It's not poverty, corruption or oppression that makes them rise in arms

nor is it cocaine and guns that introduce their sons to harm.

Sadly this type of desperation isn't exclusive to this girl

the sorrow that paid a visit at her door isn't foreign in this world

A couple hundred thousand miles north, another young body's been added to the quota

a 15 yr old girl working for a Juarez Maquiladora-

Another candle burns in company of a shared desolation

questions go unanswered; invoking a climactic desperation

Ignorance is bliss-that's our daily motto

why give a damn about what happens somewhere else tomorrow?

A herd of cows achieves greater awareness, even individuality

I've met strippers, girls at brothels possessing greater morality

Don't question, don't seek, don't strive

don't think about the atrocities committed just to stay alive

We live in a free country, where no one knows the truth

we don't care just give us TiVo to entertain an unproductive youth

Principles, morals, ethics, humaneness, humility-concepts gone out the window

a free people, no strings attached- ideals that have been widowed

That's alright, you digest what they want you to know

drink your dose of lies and slander in your morning Frappucino

As long as the bombs kill on that side of the Atlantic

as long as we're not the ones running in a state so frantic

"They were terrorists"-that's how you sleep at night

while south of here a 13 yr old boy has enlisted in the fight

Wrapped in your Ralph Lauren sheets you slip into a dream

not knowing the shrilling sound of an innocent’s scream.

by,

Icela Nahyr Bracamontes

January 12, 2006 3:52pm

finished January 14, 2006 2:21am

Untimely Farewell

2016-09-11T18:09:00.002-07:00

When I was a sophomore in high school, my best friend, Maggie, told me the song "Drops of Jupiter" was about me. Having not paid much attention to the lyrics at the time, I took it to mean that her interpretation of the song reminded her of me because of my constant need to grow and prove face value assumptions of me wrong. And perhaps because of my disparate interests... I never did ask her why she said that song in particular was about me.

Two days ago, sixteen years later, on Friday morning, I received the heartbreaking news that Maggie had passed away as a result of being struck by a DUI driver. It was surreal to read the news of her death on Friday morning as her name had come up in conversation Thursday morning and I had found myself sharing a story from our youth. I cried when I read the news link and I felt as if I didn't have a right to cry...I can't imagine the loss and pain her family and close friends must be experiencing.

We hadn't been close in many years, I'd lost touch and that felt terrible. But I have so many fond memories of her.

I remember one semester in high school she somehow talked me into auditioning to sing at the talent show with her and so for weeks we'd belt out "I Turn To You," on our walks home (never mind that she had the angelic voice and I was tone-deaf.) We wound up not auditioning, but we did sing the song to our mentor. I remember another occasion on one of our many walks home, she grew tired of her shoes and just took them off. That was Maggie. An untameable free and giving spirit.

She was smart, she was loving, she was a fiercely loyal friend, and she had one of the most generous hearts I've ever known.

I've known few people with an innately unconditional capacity to love the way she could; the way she would.

So, the past couple of days I found myself going through old photos and reminiscing and I listened to "Drops of Jupiter." I did a little research and found out the lead singer of Train woke up with the first two lines of the song from a dream after his mother passed away. The song was a tribute to her after her death.

That's when it hit me.

I'm not "Drops of Jupiter." She is.

"and then she's back in the atmosphere with Drops of Jupiter in her hair." For some reason this line reminds me of her wavy wild hair....

"Can you imagine no first dance, freeze dried romance, five-hour phone conversation?..."- We would talk nonstop on our 40-45 minute walks home and then again on the phone at home for at least another hour; this is in addition to at school in class, in between classes, and lunch!

In this senseless tragedy of her loss, in the extreme sadness that takes over our hearts from someone so loving being taken too soon; I take the smallest comfort in thinking that she is "Drops of Jupiter-" To picture her "tracing her way through the constellations...," exploring the cosmos, watching over all of us, mosh-pitting with the angels, sending her babies and her family small traces of her presence in the forms of things she loved; coffee, going barefoot, music, the RedSox, Karaoke, and so much more that can't be encompassed by me alone. If anything has become clear from her loss is that she touched many lives and she will be remembered by many in the most loving of memories.

"...tell me, did you sail across the sun, did you make it to the milky way and see the lights are faded and that heaven is overrated...and tell me, did you fall for a shooting star, the one without a permanent scar..." (I'd like to picture her spirit experiencing levels of joy and peace that we can't understand down here...)

We will all remember her smile, her innate 'mother-hen' propensity to protect and care for all those around her, her laugh, her opinionated-no-bs-straight talk, and overall the awe-inspiring openness of her heart.

Maggie and I were no longer close when I received this news, but we had once upon a a time in our lives held a twelve year friendship; much of who I grew to be and who I am now I owe to many talks shared with her, and to things she inadvertently taught me about life, friendship, and strength.

I wish I had taken the time to reach out to her recently, that I'd gotten to say goodbye...but that's a selfish thought because in her time on this Earth she undeniably affected so many hearts and we are all lucky to have known her for whatever time we each received. And I do hope that her babies get to know who their mother was from the stories we all have to share from the different stages of her life before she was so unjustly taken. When we loose someone; their stories are how we keep their memory alive...

So Maggie, I hope that "..the wind sweeps you off your feet," that you "finally get the chance to dance along the light of day," that you "fall for a shooting star," and that you rest on that "soul vacation." We will all miss you.

Always,
Popotitos (just for you, Mags)

Memories that Accompany A Melody

2013-10-11T14:58:00.001-07:00

Two weekends ago I found myself conned into watching "This is the End" starring Seth Rogan. I wasn't exactly thrilled at the idea, but I had made a deal with my hubby- one guy flick for my chick flick. As it would turn out, it was actually kind of funny. In any case, at the end of the movie they featured the Backstreet Boys singing "Backstreet's Back." Hearing that song took me back to Christmas 1999. My parents had gotten me the boxed video set of the Backstreet Boys' choreographer teaching all the moves to their music videos. It took me back to the that same year, in the hallway to the 300 building at Castle Park High School; arguing with my friend about how my eyes were more "spanish," then hers and therefore it was more probable that Brian Littrell be singing about my "Spanish Eyes," then hers.

Coincidentally, my 10 year high school reunion is coming up. And it made me think of all the songs that were hits during that period of my life; Christina Aguilera's "Genie in a Bottle" & "What a Girl Wants," N'Sync's "Bye, Bye, Bye," Smashmouth's "All-Star," Goo-Goo Dolls', "Iris," Shakira's "Ciega Sordomuda," (before she broke into the U.S.), Jessica Simpson's "I wanna love you forever" & "Irresistible," Eiffel 65's "Blue Dabadee," Sugar Ray's, "Every Morning," Barenaked Ladies, "One Week," Dirty Vegas' "Days go By," SpiceGirls' "Wannabe," Cranberries' "Linger," Dido's "Thank You," No Doubt's "Don't Speak," Marc Anthony's "I need to Know," who can forget, "Whoomp There it Is"?, or Will Smith's "Gettin' Jiggy Wit It?," Janet Jackson's "Doesn't Really Matter," Fountain's of Wayne's "Stacy's Mom," Jimmy Eat World's "The Middle," Shakira's "Whenever, Wherever," (once she broke into the U.S.), Ouktast's "I like the way you move," Train's "Drops of Jupiter," Kylie Minogue's "Can't Get You out of My Head," Destiny's Child "Say My Name" & "Survivor," Nelly Furtado's "I'm Like a Bird," Eminem's "Loose Yourself," "Mambo No. 5," Madonna's "Music," Avril Lavigne's "Complicated," and even the infamous and ever annoying Sisquo with "Thong Song." Yes, even that song gives me a memory of riding in the school bus with the track team on the way to a meet and everyone singing that song when it came on the radio- at that very moment I prayed to go deaf.

And let's not forget the benefit of being bilingual; the hits in Spanish from those years! I already mentioned ONE (there were many) of Shaki's hits, but there were other hits:

Jennifer Lopez & Marc Anthony's "No Me Ames," Enrique Iglesias' "Bailamos," Ricky Martin's "Livin' la Vida Loca," Ricardo Arjona's "Desnuda," Carlos Vives' "Fruta Fresca," Chayanne's "Y tu te vas," Juanes' "A Dios Le Pido," Nek's "Laura No Esta," Alex Syntek's "Sexo, Pudor y Lagrimas," Onda Vaselina's "Te quiero tanto," Cafe Tacuba's "Ingrata" & "Eres," Alejandro Sanz, "Corazon Partido," Oreja de Van Gogh's "La Playa," Molotov's "Frijolero," Bacilos' "Mi Primer Millon" & "Cara Luna," Paulina Rubio's "Y yo siguo aqui," Alex Syntek's & Ana Torroja's "Duele el Amor," Natalia Lafourcade's "En el 2000," Las Ketchups' "Asereje (The Ketchup Song)," Cabas' "Mi Bonbon," Tiziano Ferra's "Tardes Negras," Thalia's "A quien le importa," and Elefante's "Asi es la Vida."

Wow, major trip down memory lane! I certainly hope to hear some of these tunes at the reunion; some of them are a nice reminder that high school wasn't completely unbearable ;)

Searching for the Soundtrack for Our Perfect Day

2012-10-11T13:38:00.001-07:00

Music is a universal language, it moves us, inspires us, it lifts us up when we are down, it comforts us when we feel alone, it connects us when we're estranged, it forges commonality where none existed. Music plays a key role in our daily lives; it distracts us from our homicidal thoughts resulting from the exhausting traffic on a typical day in LA on the dreaded 405 or the abhorred 101. Music makes the tediousness of laundry and housework suddenly become alive and pleasurable, music is my ally when I'm soothing my baby to sleep. As a Dancer, Music is vital to my very essence; I am just a lonely mover without it...my movement may be the expression of who I am, of my soul; but music is the poetry that binds it all together. Music bridges the gaps that society, culture, religion, politics, economics, status, and biases impose. And perhaps there is no more important an occasion for Music to unravel our emotions than at a wedding. And so, at least in my case, the music that we select for our special day; from the bridal party procession to last dance song, take careful thought and delicate planning and I apologize in advance if more than one blog happens to surface in relation to the songs and music that I'm considering.

Our wedding theme is Vintage French Country; inspired greatly by my time in the Champs de Melisey (which I have raved about in the past) and also inspired greatly by Alex and I's tastes and experiences as a couple. Since the theme is largely French from decor, to location, to color scheme, to cake; it follows that at least part of our song selection be French. And so it also follows that La Vie En Rose be on the playlist of course! However, I also want songs that are personal to Alex and I as a couple, songs that speak to our guests and instill in them fun and the irresistible itch to dance, and songs that perhaps instill a bit of nostalgia. I want our guests to feel the journey of our life together thus far and the life we have yet to live as much as I want them to be reminded of their happiness and their joy as we share our happiness with them. As time progresses, I will post a song I'm considering or perhaps have decided definitively on with a (hopefully) short blurb as to why I'm considering or choosing that particular song. However, I invite you to make suggestions; this is after all, about all of us embarking on an emotional experience in Music... And even if we don't use your suggestion in our wedding, I think it's nice to pause and enjoy a song that moves us or think about lyrics that have a special meaning for us, or even just hum a catchy tune that always gets our tush moving :)

Rendezvous a Paris...(Reminiscing on Melisey and Paris)

2011-06-22T14:36:00.000-07:00

This afternoon I got lost in the nostalgia daydreaming about Melisey and Paris; the sights, the smells, the tastes, what i experienced and felt there...I firmly do believe that I left a piece of my heart in France. Set to the backdrop of my Rendezvous A Paris cd from Starbucks, I began to read through the poetry and musings that my experiences and self reflection while in Paris/Melisey inspired. And so I share with you know what my rendezvous a Paris et a Melisey inspired:

Untitled

Everyday I think of you

I hear your voice in every murmur in the wind

Your face appears before me in a stranger's smile

Your scent penetrates me even in your absence

Everywhere I go I feel your presence

your touch haunts me in dreams

I constantly long to be held in your embrace

to feel the grazing of your lips against my skin...

I fantasize every scenario I can place you in

where this ambiguity can find resolve-

When in travels I find myself wishing you were with me,

and I often mention what I see you'd enjoy

I keep seeking for your essence in everything that surrounds me--

I find it in the slightest resembling to someone else

I feel it in the warmth of a French sun's rays

I sense you in the velvety taste of my Bourgogne Pinot Noir

And I feel you in the steady rhythm of a southern France river

Then I think of you again,

I let myself go deep in thought

I let the images of your face carry me away

I take the liberty to indulge in the memories and nostalgia

I wander through the many unanswered questions

through the labyrinth of almosts and nearlys

I masochistically immerse myself in our lack of definition

and I soak in the unknowing of your feelings

The next day comes and I think of you again,

wondering, longing, seeking,yearning...

Living in a perpetual daze like state....

by, Nahyr Bracamontes

Little Blue Dress

The hours pour away

minute by minute they transgress

And here I sit dwelling on what could've been

regretting what never was

mocked by that little blue dress

There it hangs with illicit regality

defiant to the cruel turns of fate

It stubbornly insists to be worn

wanting to parade its elegance

and be gazed in the arms of its date

Remnants of a girlish daydream over come me

longing for what you clearly cannot provide

I cling foolishly to our stagnant ambiguity

seeking meaning in every last glance,

wanting for a slip in which you inadvertently confide

There it hangs with illicit regality

Defiant to the cruel turns of fate

It stubbornly insists to be worn

wanting to parade its elegance

and be gazed in the arms of its date

Now here I lay

mocked relentlessly by that blue dress

staring into nothing, drowning in melancholy

for how do I miss what I've never had

Feeling such emotional distress

mocked by that little blue dress.

by, Nahyr Bracamontes

Untitled

Part of me carries bits and pieces of you

My smile carries within your devious stare

my laugh holds the dimples on your right cheek

My skin retains your caress

my mouth preserves the taste of your breath as you held me that torturous night...

My fingers cling to the feel of your silky hair tangled between them

Every gesture I make mirrors a reference to you

Part of me hold ons to a part of you

you are a part of me

and I want to be a part of you.

My writing echoes your words

my choreography strokes brushes of your essence on the dance floor

My nose indulges in the remnants of your intoxicating scent

My body remembers the feeling of molding to your shape

My arms reminisce in the sense of your fingers grazing them delicately

My eyes twinkle with the fantoms of every quip, witty banter, and retort exchanged

Then they evolve to a seductive dreamy look as they recollect every last tease

My mouth preserves the taste of your breath as you held me that torturous night

My legs tremble at the memory of yours between them, interlaced timidly and tenderly

My heart beats profoundly at the repetition from the rhythmic melody left behind by yours

Part of me holds on to part of you

you are part of me

and I long to be a part of you.

by, Nahyr Bracamontes

So that's a taste of the inspirations that overtook me in Melisey and Paris...

Paris Je T'aime.

"Dime que No" Ricardo Arjona's Ode to the Chase

2011-06-15T23:29:00.000-07:00

While listening to Arjona's popular tribute to the art and thrill of the pursuit of impossible love, I found myself musing about the concept of playing hard to get and unrequited love. While to most they must seem very different platforms of falling in love, I feel that they share a common denominator: the thrill of the chase. Arjona sings, "Dime que no, me tendras pensando todo el dia en ti; planeando la estrategia para un si...Dime que no lanzame un 'si' camoflajeado, clavame una duda y me quedara a tu lado." (Say no, you'll have me thinking about you night and day; devising a strategy to obtain a 'yes'...Say no, send me a camouflaged 'yes' stab me with doubt, plant a seed of maybe, and I'll stay at your side). The most truthful words a poet has ever written about Love I think, however, I don't think this phenomenon is exclusive to the male gender. I feel that often women find themselves living with unrequited Love; yet they stay very much in Love. Why is that? (Asks the rest of the sane world) Why love someone who doesn't love you in return? It seems rather foolish, doesn't it?

However, there's a perfectly logical explanation, and that is that unrequited Love has a certain glamorous romance; it's the thrill of the chase...It's the proverbial impossible Love; it's what inspires the most beautiful music, poetry, literature, movies---it's what fuels the greatest Love stories of all time. The forsaken lover doesn't ever focus on the fact that they are not loved in return, they are focused solely on the little hints of doubt they can interpret freely (though perhaps not logically) as the possibility that their beloved loves them in return. For the same reason, the more you "play hard to get," the more you say no, the less the person smitten or in love with you seems to go away.

It seems to me that Love is a very tricky, very shady feeling, and yet almost against all odds we trust this feeling blindly...

I think Arjona says it best "si se me pone facil, el amor se hace fragil y uno para de sonar" (if it becomes easy, the love turns fragil and one stops dreaming...)...And it made me realize that even on my personal level, I have been inspired to write a few lines on the matter, and so I share them with you here....:

Esta pluma derrama una tinta agridulce sobre estas paginas
De vez en cuando esa tinta escribe sobre la reconciliacion y el olvidar
y de vez en cuando escribe de sentimientos que no entienden razon
la pluma vuelve a visitar momentos perdidos...

Momentos en los cuales crei que me amabas
Unas lineas despues esa pluma escribe sobre la resignacion
la resignacion a que nunca hubo nada del cual escribir...
Nunca podre escribir sobbre estas paginas con certeza sobre lo que tu pudiste sentir por mi
Esta plluma escribira en vez sobre miradas coquetas, sonrisas traviesas, caricias sugestivas,
momentos extraviados en una amistad ambigua....
deseas nunca expresados, pensamientos apuntados en un jornado sonador
sentimientos gravados en una historia bella en la cual los protagonistas tuvieron un fin inesperado...

Esta pluma lo confirmira--
en estas paginas esta pluma derramara nuestra historia
Agridulce, incompleta, y celestial.

INB 3/29/10

Translation:
This pen will secrete a bittersweet ink on these pages...
Once in a while this ink will write about reconcilation and forgetting
And once in a while it writes about feelings that lack reason

The pen continues to revisit lost moments
moments in which I swore you loved me
Several lines later this pen writes of resignation-
resignation to what never was mine,
what never existed to write of...

I will never write on these pages
with any certainty of what you could have felt for me...

This pen will spill on these pages recollections of flirtatious glances, mischievous smiles, suggestive caresses
moments muddled in an addictively ambiguous friendship,
a longing never expressed,
thoughts detailed on a dreamer's journal,
emotions recorded in a beautiful story in which its protagonists met an unexpected end.

This pen will confirm-
on these pages this pen will write of our story;
Bittersweet, incomplete and heavenly.

INB 3/29/10

"Bubbly"...Is it Love or simply a release of chemicals in your brain?

2011-06-15T00:18:00.000-07:00

"It starts in my toes and I crinkle my nose..." is such a sweet and dare I say accurate description of the feeling of falling in love. Psychologists and scientists will argue that this reaction is triggered by a set of chemicals released into your brain. Among them is Biological Anthropologist and renowned authority on "romantic love rejuvenation," Dr. Helen Fisher, who describes this feeling in her book Why We Love as the simple release of increased levels of norepinephrine and dopamine while simultaneously the levels of serotonin are decreased in your brain. According to Fisher, the presence of these chemicals is the reason we fall in love and the reason we make certain choices while in love; choices that we would most likely not make otherwise. However, what is the trigger that causes the release of these chemicals, I wonder?

Dr. Fisher fails to address a precise trigger, she vaguely references thoughts of the loved one or visual stimuli, however, I personally am inclined to postulate that the feelings themselves trigger the chemical release. Thus, we find ourselves in the proverbial chicken or egg conundrum. However, I strongly advocate that we feel in love before norepinephrine and dopamine in our brain increase and serotonin decreases. I believe it is the feeling of falling in love that increases these levels in your brain but not vice versa. While it is true and scientifically confirmed that the very first stages of love involve the release of norepinephrine, dopamine select areas of the brain, I disagree that these chemicals cause one to fall in love. For Fisher however, “romantic love is a universal human feeling, produced by specific chemicals and networks in the brain.” (Why We Love) Fisher goes on to say that elevated levels of dopamine in the brain are the reason we love so deeply because they are “associated with learning about novel stimuli” and produce “extremely focused attention and unwavering motivation and goal directed behaviors,” which she considers to be the basic characteristics of romantic love. I might be mistaken, however, by this logic Dr. Fisher has reduced the process of falling and being in love to beloved Finding Nemo character, Dori’s, “something shiny” distractions wherein the new shiny object becomes the extremely focused learning for the duration of its novelty. If this were true, wouldn’t we fall in and out of love rather effortlessly? Wouldn’t our beloved cease to be the center of our attention as the new shiny and novel object of our devotion comes along?

According to Dr. Fisher the other chemical crucial to feelings of romantic love is norepinephrine that causes what she refers to as “lover’s high.” Lover’s High, as Dr. Fisher describes it, is the effect on varied areas of the brain which generally cause exhilaration, excessive energy, sleeplessness, and loss of appetite- all of which Dr. Fisher considers to be further characteristics of romantic love. However, by her own reasoning what comes after these “symptoms” is no longer romantic love. I refuse to believe only the preliminary stages of falling in love constitute romantic love. In my humble opinion, falling in love and being in love are two different processes. Furthermore, the more complex and in depth later phases of romantic love; where the relationship begins to form into a more solid entity, involve conscious effort, choices, and actions beyond any involuntary chemical releases and network patterns in the brain.

In this respect I agree fully with Bell Hooks as she depicts romantic love in her book, Bell Hooks On Love, as taking a flight of stairs upon which you reach a flat platform connecting you to the next set of stairs and consciously decide to keep climbing rather than turning back. But that’s a topic for a different day. For now, I would venture to say that I agree that the “Bubbly” feeling of falling in love, the feeling that “starts in (our) toes” as Ms. Caillat sings, is most likely the elevated release of norepinephrine and dopamine in select areas of our brain as a response to our falling in love. However, in my experience, the romantic love I have experienced and felt in its entirety (falling and being) is far more complex and wonderfully imperfect…

"Maquillaje" by Mecano---commenting on day 12 sans maquillage!

2011-01-12T22:53:00.000-08:00

"No me mires, No me mires..." (Don't look at me, Don't look at me) are the very first lyrics of this song "Maquillaje" (Make-up) by spaniard group Mecano. The song is about a girl telling her boyfriend not to look at her since she has not yet "put her face on," so to speak...A feeling that I think most women can relate to. I felt this song to be particularly appropriate for me at the moment as I am currently undergoing an exploration of my daily life without makeup. And let me tell you; it is very difficult. Once you've become used to wearing some element (or multiple) of make-up on a daily basis; it is extremely difficult to re-pattern your life without an ounce of it on your face. You have to teach yourself to feel awake without makeup and see your face in the mirror without thinking, "I really need to cover XYZ."

However, I think in the end this exploration will be worth it as my motivation for this experiment is two-fold:

First, there's the superficial goal to better my skin and prevent the appearance of wrinkles at a premature age. Second, and more importantly, I seek to find my natural beauty and truly regard myself confidently as a beautiful woman without the need of makeup to validate me.

And so I continue on my exploration sans maquillage and I encourage my fellow lovely ladies to join me! I also encourage you to check out "Maquillaje" even if you don't speak Spanish ;)

A "Swan Song (For Nina)"...Black Swan Constructive Review

2010-12-15T17:23:00.000-08:00

Although this blog is entitled “A Swan Song (For Nina)” because of its motif in narrating life’s wide spectrum of events as told through the random melangerie of music in my i-pod, you should not confuse my intentions- this is after all a constructive review of the critically acclaimed Darren Aronofsky film Black Swan.

As a dancer, I am the first to guiltily admit that I have watched pretty much every dance movie that has premiered on the mainstream platform. From Centerstage to Save the Last Dance, from Take the Lead to Step Up, and from Dance With Me to Dirty Dancing to Dirty Dancing Havana Nights and back… I have shamelessly indulged in all of the above and I even own most of these films. However, I also recognize that the talent in these films lays if anything in the choreography, in the dancing, and in some cases even the acting, but the plots regrettably leave much to be desired. I often wished to see a provocative film featuring Dance or about Dance break into the mainstream track without loosing its Indie quality. I often yearned to see something along the lines of The Red Shoes, The Company, or One Last Dance break into cinema that the “average Joe” purchases tickets for. Fortunately, Black Swan achieved just that, the fusion of Independent style filmmaking with mainstream box office success.

An evocative, moving, and thrilling story, Black Swan boasts excellent writing, directing, acting, choreography, dancing, et al. Where other Dance films have lacked in substance, Black Swan is rich in depth. Beginning with Natalie Portman’s intuitive personification of obsessive compulsive and deeply troubled ballerina, Nina, and continuing with Aronofsky’s breathtaking cinematographic choices, it’s no wonder the film has such a gripping pulse. Aronofsky manages to seduce our senses with a strategic combination of the beautiful musical score including a couple original versions of Tchaikovsky’s classic Dying Swan reprise, visuals of feathered tutus, classic ballet stage makeup, deliberate lighting and mirror placements for those jarring thriller scenes, and genius shots of Nina’s dancing including an enchanting slow-motion shot of her practicing a fouetté-pirouette combination on pointe.

To further accent the films all ready epic quality, Aronofsky had the foresight to cast the demure and eloquent Natalie Portman as Nina. Natalie Portman deserves the Oscar not only for Best Actress for her role as Nina, but also for Best Preparation (if this category existed) for the role as well as best insight into the psyche of not only the character but also the pressures of the ballet world. Portman truly engulfed herself in the dark and macabre facets of the character Nina as well as the physical and psychological demands of the professional Ballet world. Trapped between a dysfunctional and possessive relationship with her mother as well as her own obsessive and self-destructive inclinations, Nina’s emotional and mental stability fouetté maniacally out of control as the pressure of dancing the coveted Swan Queen role pushes her over the edge. Portman not only surpassed the emotional range necessary to convey Nina’s conflictive inner dialogue, but she also fully embodied the physicality of Nina’s dedication as a dancer, her submission as a person, and the cathartic instance when she finally snaps.

With such an emotionally charged story, blood-pumping scenes, breathtaking dancing, and a heart-wrenching musical score Black Swan is destined to grand jeté its way to the Oscars.

"La Despedida" as it relates to the Women of Juarez...

2010-11-19T13:20:00.000-08:00

“Cuando alguien se va, el que se queda sufre más (When someone is gone, the one left behind suffers more)…” As of late these words, extracted from Shakira’s “La Despedida,” have very strongly reverberated with me. Perhaps because it makes me think of the way the families of the Women of Juarez must feel. Imagine having a loved one ripped from you suddenly, without a warning whatsoever…One moment they’re hugging you goodbye saying, “See you home for dinner,” and the next you’re staring at a mutilated corpse in the desert with a plethora of unanswered questions, unresolved emotions, and no one to turn to. It sickens me to think of the agony that these families undergo without hope for closure, and at the same time it also amazes me the tenacity and courage with which they fight to seek justice for their daughters, nieces, mothers, aunts, sisters, wives, girlfriends…their women, their fellow human beings.

I, alike many of us, have not been able to forget since the first time I became aware of these heinous acts back in 2004 after seeing the Women of Juarez play at the Frida Kahlo Theatre. I became so enraged, so infuriated, so appalled by the situation in Juarez that I in my own, meek manner began to take action to spread the word and increase the awareness of the issue. First, circa 2004 I chose to write my Moral Ethics Philosophy research term paper on the murders of Juarez. In the paper I argued that in my opinion, both the U.S. and the Mexican governments shared equal ethical and moral responsibility to these families to not only provide closure, but also protection to the maquiladora workers. I supported my argument using Kant’s second categorical imperative, which states that every person must be treated with the dignity and profound worth they deserve simply because they have the gift of reason and are able to use it autonomously. (I won’t go into details as to why; it took me 12 pages to explain!) This paper wound up being submitted to a national ethics committee for the government as I thought it was something our governments should account for.

However, I felt like that was not enough; so two years later I decided to take a step further. In fall of 2006 I decided to take a risk and explore presenting a specific social issue to an audience via the fusion of poetry, acting, and dance. So I wrote a poem called the “Butterflies of Juarez/Las Mariposas de Juarez”*(inserted below) voicing through the metaphor of Juarez victims as butterflies; the way in which these women were atrociously harmed. I had my dancers attempt to evoke emotion in their reciting of each verse as they walked toward the audience, and finally, I added a dance performance depicting the anguish of the mothers as well as the daughters. I have always maintained the solemn belief that Art, all Art, is the vehicle by which we convey truth; sometimes truths that we, as a people, don’t always want to admit or listen to, but truths that need to be expressed and heard nonetheless. For this reason I feel that performance ethnography is a crucial necessity and in this particular case I thank my lucky stars that I was exposed to “The Women of Juarez,” because for me it was a catalyst not only as an audience member and performer, but as a human being. And isn’t that the point of all this?

Mariposas de Juarez

Fui una vez una Mariposa

Volaba sin cuidado sobre el desierto Chihuahense

Los tumultos de la pobreza eran vida diaria

Pero el calor hogareño me protegia el soñar

De repente ya no volaba libremente

Atrapada en una red malevola senti mi mundo caer

Mi captor me rompio las alas, me apagó el alma

Me robó el derecho a ser Mariposa

Aquella bestialidad me convirtió en victima

Me dejó en el vacio como cualquier basura

Horriblemente mutilada, degradada, e irreconocible

El salvaje me quitó la abilidad de volver a volar

Y ahora? Ahora soy una de cientas

Desaparecidas, mutiladas; mariposas sin alas.

Butterflies of Juarez

I was once a Butterfly

I flew carelessly over a desert covered Chihuaha

Strife and poverty were daily life

But home’s warmth sheltered my dreams

Suddenly I couldn’t fly so freely

Trapped in a malicious net I felt my world sink

My captor ripped off my wings, blackened my soul

He robbed of me the right to be a butterfly

That atrocity victimized me

It left me in the nowhere like common trash

Horrifically mutilated, degraded, and unrecognizable

The savage stomped on my ability to ever fly again

And now? Now I am one of hundreds

Vanished, mutilated; butterflies without wings.

by, Nahyr Bracamontes

We're All in the Dance of Life..

2010-11-15T17:18:00.000-08:00

"Life's a dance we all have to do," says the lovely and insightful Feist through her ethereal vocals. There is almost a childlike truth to her lyrics... It is common and shared knowledge that Life has 'ups and downs,' 'bumps along the road,' etc... Even as children this mantra was instilled in us through movies such as The Sword and the Stone in which the ever-so wise Merlin sings:

For every up there is a down
For every square there is a round
For every high there is a low
For every to there is a fro
To and fro
Stop and go
That's what makes the world go round

(That's What Makes the World go Round
From "The Sword in the Stone"
Composed by Richard M. Sherman and Robert B. Sherman)

However, for those of us who are dancers, afficionados of Dance, musicians, or lovers of music...I think you can appreciate the depth in the analogy of Life as a dance.

When you dance, you have to dive in fully into each step, each moment and often leave a piece of you onstage. If you fall onstage or forget the choreography, you keep going as if you meant to fall or as if improvising was part of the performance. This philosophy also applies to social dancing or even dancing in your shower or living room- If you don't let yourself become immersed in the movement, you won't enjoy it! No one 'half-asses' their underwear dance in front of the mirror? Why would they? That's not enjoyable! Instead you dance around in your underwear to your favorite song because it fulfills you and makes you happy because in that moment you are carefree of outside judgments and void of inner judgments- at that moment you are living fully.

When dancing with a partner, you rely on trust; if you are performing with a partner you are literally placing your well being in their hands. You are taking a risk with every lift, every acrobatic endeavor... When on the dance floor in a social setting, you are quite often trusting a complete stranger with your Ego--trusting that they won't laugh at you if you step on them, or slip, and if you do trusting them to make light of an awkward situation... In the performance world, as if trust wasn't difficult enough to build...you must also share a deep, meaningful connection both physically as well as emotionally with your partner. In this capacity, dancing strongly resembles romantic relationships. Much like in Love, when dancing with partner you take the proverbial "Leap of Faith" not once, but several times... Also, much like in Love you often have to make an active choice to keep dancing with your partner, to persevere through the drops and try the lift again, to work with them and learn with them, and to sweat out every awkward, clashing moment until your bodies move as one. I think Bell Hooks would much appreciate viewing Love as a section of choreography in Life's dance as she very firmly believes love to be an action, a verb. In her book Bell Hooks on Love, Hooks describes the process of love as “climbing a set of stairs (the action), on each floor you stop, look out the window (the introspection), and decide to continue or not to continue climbing (the choice)”. (Hooks, 162) and follows this description with the novel idea that “we would all love better if we used it (love) as a verb.” (Hooks, 4)

However, sometimes you choose not to Love, or even if you choose to Love you still find yourself without a dance partner for whatever the reason may be... Sometimes, alike in Life, you find yourself dancing solo. It's as Feist sings, "We walk around and round, partners are lost and found-"

Perhaps sometimes we forget the steps or where the dance is headed and how it will end... Sometimes we loose our connection to the music, the rhythm, and the beat...Sometimes we loose our partners and find others, sometimes we even loose ourselves...But through it all we keep dancing, through it all we keep living; we have no choice, "we're all in the Dance."

Let's keep dancing...-Nahyr

Waka Waka...This is Your Time

2010-11-11T21:53:00.000-08:00

It seems fitting that my very first entry on this blog be linked to the song "Waka, Waka" by Shakira. The purpose of this blog is to attempt to explain life and offer advice by the way of music and sometimes other forms of art. It seems to me that even in light of this insufferable recession there is still a sense of hope in the air. For those of us who might be eluded by this hope or who at times feel like there is no light at the end of this grim tunnel, keep in mind that when things are at it's absolute worse it can only get better. I think that "Waka, Waka" has a very uplifting way of conveying this message of hope particularly in the phrase, "Today's your day, I feel it- You paved the way, believe it." So often we tend to forget that we are working toward our dreams and that paving a road takes time, patience, dedication, and above all relentless perseverance. The point is, don't give up, "this is your moment, no hesitation."