Shut Up When I'm Talking

Moving to a new blog!

crowhen — Sun, 20 Mar 2011 19:12:02 GMT

From now on I'll be blogging at my new comics site. If you'd like to keep up with me, there's an RSS feed you can subscribe to (even by email). (If you like RSS feeds, I highly recommend you take feedly for a spin. It makes you a personalized magazine with all your feeds!)

Why am I moving?
It has been a long, long time since I seriously kept up with my friends on LiveJournal. I've almost entirely switched to RSS feeds and Twitter as means to keep in touch. Also, it's not as inspiring to post here, where adding images is such a pain in the bottom. I much prefer my new site's snazzy WordPress user interface that lets me add all kinds of things with the ease of "upload" buttons.

And lastly of my reasons: It used to be that all of the comicking community was on LJ, but that is no longer the rule. More and more of the community is moving away from community blogging and toward personal platforms like WordPress (which rawks). Plus, in the three years since I went on hiatus, I started following the web design and development community, which is decidedly anywhere but LJ (in fact, we all kinda pity LJ. Sorry.)

Want to keep in touch?
If you have one of the following and want to keep in touch, please post linkage so I can hook you into my personal communications system:

a blog

Twitter

Deviant Art

See you at RacheltheGreat.com!

Rachel the Great is live

crowhen — Wed, 09 Mar 2011 21:39:28 GMT

What better time to launch my new comics site RacheltheGreat.com than on my 26th birthday? Help me celebrate 9 years of pure awesome!

I'll be posting the entire RtG archive + commentary over the next few weeks. Please keep checking back and share some memory lane moments with me! Once the archive is complete, I can start posting new comics.

Many thanks to everyone for their feedback and support. It took me a year to build, design and launch this site. Life kept getting in the way. And thanks to my husband for tolerating my coming to bed in the wee hours of the morning after spending all night working on this :)

This show is over.

crowhen — Wed, 16 Feb 2011 03:25:49 GMT

I turned in my resignation at my job yesterday, Valentine's Day (the perfect day for ending--and starting--relationships). It was a good job with cushy benefits, and it helped me get my jaw surgery done. But I'm bored, and I need more from life.

It has been over a year since I had a really good project that challenged me. Since then I have been doing maintenance work while my peers honed their skills and went on to speak at conferences and found companies. I know that if I remained in my (albeit comfortable) rut, my skills would grow dull and my portfolio slim. It's bad for my professional development, in short. I feel underpaid for what I do, overpaid for what I'm capable of. And worst of all, while I squirm and wish I could go home to work on more exciting projects all day, I know there is someone out there perfect for this position who really needs it. It doesn't seem fair.

What's more, I want to make comics again. I did what I set out to do three years ago. I got surgery (with no small amount of help from many awesome friends and readers--thank you thank you!!!). It's done. I can go home now.

The new comics site is better than ever. I just need the time to finish designing it. My goal is to launch it on my birthday, with or without fancy design. I will be re-posting all my comics in their original full-page format (not the hacked up version gURL.com needed to inflate pageviews) along with extensive commentary. Meanwhile I'm drawing a new batch of comics to commemorate the beginning of a new chapter in the Rachel the Great saga.

On March 1st I return to full time web design and user experience consulting. I'm still open to finding a job with a company, but I'm waiting for the Right One, the one I want to spend the Rest of My Life with (or at least Five Years of My Life with). I have some nice opportunities I'm exploring, too. Wish me luck! Maybe I'm crazy... or maybe this is all part of my master plan for world domination!

My Best Practices Guide to Designing a Web Comics Site

crowhen — Tue, 04 Jan 2011 17:09:02 GMT

While designing my new site, I've been running readership surveys and wireframe tests, and you, my friends, have been helping me by participating.

From the results I notice a lot of recurring annoyances and frustrations with many prevailing web comics site design trends. So I made a guide to designing your web comics site to help you avoid all the common pitfalls and keep your readership delighted.

I hope you enjoy, and if you find it useful, please pass it on!

I will be releasing the WordPress theme I am making to the public one day. It incorporates all of the things in my guide and uses HTML 5. It's still in beta testing, though. But think of it as my way of saying thank you for all your patience during my three year hiatus :)

See you soon!

Designing the "coming soon" page for RacheltheGreat.com + Contest!

crowhen — Mon, 29 Nov 2010 02:06:18 GMT

Behold, a post about designing the "coming soon" page for RacheltheGreat.com. I thought it might be of some interest to those building their own comics sites. (Now quickly, read it and point out what atrocious spelling/grammar/political mistakes I have made!)

Additionally, the first person to guess correctly the identities of >a href="http://rachelthegreat.deviantart.com/#/d33qfjg">these five characters I've drawn</a> gets to make a drawing request! Hurry hurry!

Another way you can help me make the new rachelthegreat.com rock!

crowhen — Wed, 10 Nov 2010 19:06:32 GMT

It's as simple as taking this survey. All I want to know is what you love and hate about web comics sites, their archives, their updates, their layouts. I thank you for your time!

I left my spiked bracelet in New York City.

crowhen — Mon, 11 Oct 2010 05:59:09 GMT

When i was recoverring from surgery, I prepared myself to have some kind of revelation about who I was becoming and what I should be doing with my life. Instead I came away knowing only that life is too short to spend living in uncomfortable climes.

In NYC I think I have had my revelation. I think I know why I feel so unfulfilled. The problem now lies in what to do about it.

I want to know why I can't let loose and go drinking with any of my NC friends like I do with Tessa and Leigh. I want to know why I envy Laurence his job which furthers our collective knowledge of insects. And I want to know... what the hell am I doing with my weekends?

Going to NYC, Oct 8th through 11th

crowhen — Sat, 02 Oct 2010 17:22:31 GMT

I'm heading up to New York City on the Oct 8th through 11th to meet with several people I have not seen in a long time (or at all).

I feel bad about springing for the trip just after getting my bank account cleared out by surgery, but Laurence, my entomologist friend from England, isn't going to be back in the states for another four years or so. I unburied all my nuts and I have a nice cushion. So I'm not going to be poor again any time soon. (Many thanks to the people who sent me freelance projects, money, etc, so I could save for surgery.) I've found ways to save money on the trip, too, like sharing a hostel room.

While I'm up there, Laurence and I are going to have an EPIC Pokemon battle at the Nintendo store. This is a battle four years in coming. I have been EV training my Pokemon in preparation. They're almost all maxed out on their stats, mid to upper level 30's.

So, what's awesome to do in NYC? I want to check out the orchids at the botanical gardens. What else?

Blue Cross Blue Shield of North Carolina are misleading bastards.

crowhen — Wed, 15 Sep 2010 01:01:30 GMT

This post started as a cheery update of how I'm doing, but between when I started writing and when I finished, I got some bad news. So that post is coming later.

Blue Cross Blue Shield of North Carolina only wants to reimburse me for $2,000 of my $16,000 worth of pre-approved jaw surgery. Here's how my conversation with them went:

Me: Hi there! I wanted to know how much you'll be reimbursing me for my recent massive jaw surgery? The surgeons required payment up front, so I took out a $16,000 loan to cover it. I'd like to pay that back as soon as possible.

BCBS: Let's have a look... ah yes, you'll be reimbursed $2,000.

Me: What? But I thought my health insurance plan covered 70% of out of network fees with a $1,000 deductible.

BCBS: Yes, but we only allow $4,000 for this surgery. We only cover 70% of the $4,000 after your $1,000 deductible.

Me: That's a large gap. Why wasn't I told about this?

BCBS: It says it somewhere in your plan.

Me: I mean why didn't anyone tell me that Blue Cross Blue Shield would only "allow" for a quarter of the cost of this surgery?

BCBS: We have an estimator thingy somewhere in the bowels of our site.

Me: No one told me about that. I didn't even know what "allowable" meant until now. Heck, I didn't even realize it was in my plan!

BCBS: Really? Too bad. But how were we to know that your surgeon would charge you so much. I bet they were trying to pull the wool over your eyes, hiking up their prices and sticking you with the bill. We fight on behalf of--

Me: But you knew how much it cost.

BCBS: Pardon?

ME: I submitted a detailed price list for this operation six months ago for pre-approval. I went through six months of appeals. I went to the your headquarters in Chapel Hill on a work day to plead my case. I went through hell and back over $2,000? You would really waste the time of dozens of people and professionals over two thousand dollars?

BCBS: Well, the appeals people don't really know what anything costs. You should have used the estimator.

Me. Please pass my suggestion to your superiors that this fabled estimator needs to be mentioned somewhere on the procedure approval letter.

BCBS: We estimate that this procedure should cost only $4,000. That's how much our in-network people would have done it for.

Me: If I recall, I did in fact try to see an in-network surgeon associated with a university. His office was dark, his staff barely there, and he merely "eye-balled" my jaw instead of actually measuring it. And he never returned any of my calls, and believe you me, I hounded him. (Sounds to me like the in-network surgeons would rather be out-of-network or not bother at all.)

Listen, I work with a girl who saw a similar "cheap" surgeon. The state sent her there. He butchered her face. Her teeth were off by a full inch. She had to see another surgeon who performed the procedure yet again after which she was wired shut. Now she looks like the bionic woman in her dental x-rays. She went through this horrible, painful, disruptive surgery twice, and she didn't need to. It ended up costing everyone.

This is not a four thousand dollar procedure. The equipment they used to measure my face and make my splint, the number of staff members who had to be there all along the way, their ability to return phone calls, I assure you, it was worth every penny. The final bill was less than the estimate even.

I did my homework. I got estimates from several surgeons. They were all in the same price range, and he's not driving a Ferrari, so stop suggesting he's pulling the wool over my eyes when your own company officials get Christmas bonuses.

I've gathered estimates from many surgeons. This is how much it costs.

---

Okay, I didn't say it like that, and he wasn't an asshole, but that's the gist of it.

Yes, I plan to appeal. And appeal. And appeal. I'm going to waste as much of their time as possible now. They have wasted plenty of mine.

NYC in October

crowhen — Mon, 06 Sep 2010 17:10:08 GMT

I have a friend from the UK who's touching ground in New York City from the 8th to 12th of October. I want to go up and battle Pokemon with him as well as see all my NYC friends (who I never see--pipe up, I'm making a list).

But I'm kinda scared to go to NYC all alone. Where will I stay? How will I get by? What should I make sure I do while I'm there (visit the parasol shop, natch)? And how can I do it all without breaking the bank?

Unrelated but of interest to illustrator/designer friends:
'I would Be' is a fun, new illustration project that invites illustrators and designers to complete the sentence, "If I weren't an Illustrator / Designer, I would be...", by producing an illustration. This looks like so much fun. I want to participate! Anyone else game?

Fourth week after jaw surgery

crowhen — Fri, 20 Aug 2010 01:32:04 GMT

Swelling is still there. Bruising is disappearing. Can't open mouth as widely as I would like. My splint shoudl be out in 10 days, but because of my surgeon's and ortho's schedule conflicts, it'll be more like three weeks. The splint also gives me a lisp and makes chewing hard. And it collects bits of rotting food behind it. Want it off noooooow...

I have spent the days building up an outstanding Pokemon team. I did nature-breeding and EV-training. Now I just need to find someone to battle (nudge nudge).

This week I am learning AJAX in my home office, making tea and doing exercises every morning, and driving somewhere to do something every afternoon. This is all very tiring, but I'm doing it to build up my strength for when I go back to work on Monday.

On Tuesday I drove to Barnes and Noble to eat a slice of Key Lime cheesecake. It was disgusting, but the chai helped wash the taste out. I am insanely messy when I eat, but people pretend not to notice, so it's cool. After that, I still had some energy, so I popped into the mall's Sephora to see what's in store for fall makeup. Mind you, I feel so unpretty these days and I rub my face so much that I just don't wear makeup anymore. I will when things go back to normal, but right now, I don't see the point.

While I was in the Sephora, the clerk I've known since I first moved here scampered up to me and wanted to know where I'd been. Of course, she was all, "Oh you brave little soldier," when she saw my face and heard my story. It was so nice to see her again and talk about makeup and our mutual one year wedding anniversaries. I was extremely grateful for her bubbliness and compassion.

Today Joe and I braved miserable traffic to Charlotte and saw the surgeon again. Yes, my septum is really knocked out of whack (damn you, anaestheseologists!), but luckily, they do facial surgery there, too, and are going to whack that sliver of cartilidge and bone back into place when they take my splint off (in THREE WEEKS... the waiting willl kill me!).

The surgeon gave me some exercises to do to widen my jaw more and told me to take ibuprofen three times a day to help keep down the swelling. And there I was trying to keep off the pain meds! Ha ha.

We dropped by Ikea on the way back where Joe found me a black map chest for all my art paper. Hooray! I've been keeping all my comics pages in a tupperware drawer unit that is literally buckling under the weight. It will be so nice to have a proper recepticle for my artwork. (And there were coupons, woo!)

Summer's Song Starts without Me

crowhen — Thu, 12 Aug 2010 23:29:50 GMT

I went to see the orthodontist today. The consensus seems to be that my face is recovering super fast.

But apparently, everyone else starts feeling better faster than I do. I think maybe the reason I'm such a sleepy, achy wreck is because my body's putting 100% of its resources into getting everything healed and mended. That's why I look so good and feel so sleepy :) And on the bright side, I no longer need to take massive amounts of pain killers. Last week, out of the blue, the pain just stopped. I still can't open my mouth very much, though.

I got my leave time extended by another week so I have a chance to get over my narcolepsy. I set myself little goals every day to help get back on my feet. Today's were:

See orthodontist
Deposit check
Get perscription at Target

I was fine right up to the crosswalk at the bank, where I started to fall asleep on my feet. The telephone pole was beginning to look like a nice place to crash. So I scootled through Target as quickly as I could, making sure to stock up on fish and microwaveable pasta dishes. Fish is really tasty. I get so mch protein for so little chewing! As soon as I got home I fell right asleep on the couch. I think I overdid it.

I have spent most of the week:

playing Pokemon
reading Witchblade
watching The Adventures of Pete and Pete
drinking awesome nutty banana smoothies courtesy of my talented husband

I'm cultivating my Pokemon "Beauty Team", consisting of Froslass, Gardevoir, Milotic, Ninetales, Altaria, and Absol. They mesh really well, but they're having trouble when pitted agains water and electrical types. If only there were a gorgeous grass-type Pokemon. Alas! I'll have to slap something grassy onto one of my sweepers.

Witchblade is a guilty pleasure. The writing and anatomy is just awful in some places. Almost every issue has a trite "He has blah, but I have blah of my own," type interal monologue, such as, "He was having issues. Issues we needed to talk about. But right now, I'm having issues of my own." Not to mention the way the writers portray the modeling world as a portal to prosititution, write cops and detectives like a bad episode of CSI Miami with a little Maltese Falcon mixed in for drama, and come up with as many excuses as they can to get the artists to draw women in bondage gear (not that I mind that part so much, but the premise is usually quite laughable--models typically don't flounce about the BDSM scene).

I give the series credit in that each character is their own person. And Ian Nottingham is the hawtness. But Gott im Himmel, it's so badly and tritely done. I feel like I'm reading someone's childhood daydreams of cops and robbers. Criminals don't actually talk about "selling the next big drug to corrupt the nation's youth." Evil people don't think they're evil--Except in Witchblade, where all the baddies except for Nottingham and Jackie Estacado are cardboard cutouts who have a strict chaotic/evil alignment and shun the self-righteous ways of the goodie-two-shoes police.

The Adventures of Pete and Pete was one of those shows I only got to see once or twice growing up, but it left a deep imprint in my brain. Having watched most of the first season courtesy of Netflix, I now know why. The music score is unique. The directors did things with a custom soundtrack that no one else was doing at the time. And also, Pete and Pete live in a land of perpetual autumn, it seems. Autumn is my Happy Season. As I lie here on the couch, missing out on life and adventures, the only thought I have to console myself is that I'm waiting out the hottest parts of summer. When I emerge from this chrysalis of air conditiong, I will be that much close to the crisp dead leave and frosty evening of fall.

I want to live in a land of perpetual fall. Is there such a place? And are they hiring web developers?

Progress Report

crowhen — Fri, 06 Aug 2010 16:29:55 GMT

I went to see the surgeon in Charlotte yesterday. It's hard to believe I'm over halfway through my recovery period. I don't feel halfway better. The surgeon said I am not getting enough nutrition, and that if I can up my dietary intake, I will probably feel a boost in stamina. But eating is so. damn. hard. I think I spend five hours a day trying to maneuver food into my stomach. No wonder I'm not getting any of my book reading done!

My disguise for visiting the surgeon. I got this scarf when I went to visit my mom before surgery. My reasoning was, "I'd rather people stare at me for my off-kilter fashion sense than for my zombie bruises and puffy cheeks." Indeed, one of the surgeon's assistants told me I looked fine without it and encouraged me to try going about with it down. I tried walking around Ikea with it down, and no one would make eye contact. So I put it back up, and boom, everyone was all eye contact and smiles.

I think I'll rock the ninja look for a bit.

Look, a smile! I'm re-learning how to make facial expressions!

The swelling is going down a little every day.
I can smile.
I can use a straw.
I can sleep for more than three hours at a stretch (only if sleeping alone).
No more liquid diet--pasta and fish are now on the menu!
No more uncontrollable drooling--I was like a little snail leaving a trail wherever I went before.

Today I am watching The Adventures of Pete and Pete, a show I love for taking place in a perpetual autumn. I wish it would be fall by the time I get out of here. First thing I want to do as soon as I'm able is go to Target and buy shampoo and terribly girly lip balm. I'm running out of shampoo because I am showering twice a day, in the morning and before bed, to help break up and spread out the swelling by massaging my cheeks under the hot water.

My big challenge for the day: Make some noodles from a box and wash a load of towels (most of which were used to help keep me from drooling on everything). Wish me luck!

One week, one year.

crowhen — Wed, 04 Aug 2010 03:55:42 GMT

Two things to celebrate today. First off, it's been one week since I had upper and lower jaw surgery. Once again, I'd like to thank my friends, fans, and the comicking community at large for making this happen.

(Me, one week ago, fresh off the table. That is my happy face.)

Second, it's been one year since my marriage to Joe Komenda. I just want to acknowledge what a trooper he's been through all of this fuss. Marriage is a partnership, and Joe's an awesome partner, and I'm proud to be with him. I was going to draw a really cute picture of the two of us to put up here, but I fell asleep while drawing it. (I'm having sleeping issues.) Next year, I won't be recovering for surgery on our anniversary. I'll try again then! But wow, what a year. We got married, got a house, and I had surgery. (I don't think that any one of those could have happened if they all didn't happen together.)

Post Surgery Updates!

Some people have requested and address to send Get-Well-Soon cards to:
Rachel Nabors, P.O. Box 31901, Raleigh, NC 27622-1901

Day 5, from now on to be referred to as the Worst Day of My Life Ever. That's when the swelling set in. And I was still having problems drinking without choking to death. (And I was supposed to be drinking 2.5 quarts of liquids a day!)

Day 7, bruising is much greener than it appears here, making me look like a zombie. I've got a dark blue-green stream that runs from under my chin to my sternum where the fluid in my chipmunk cheeks has been slowly draining. It is gooshy and weird.

Nothing could have prepared me for the amount of discomfort I've been experiencing. Recovery has been slower than I was hoping for. Sleeping is hard. Eating is hard. Cleanliness is hard. Everything is hard.

The meds are pretty harsh, too. I am on a liquid diet and pills, pills, pills, and oh yeah, liquids that make you queazy if not taken with a hearty snack :D Yesterday my body rejected the 4 ibuprofen/2 tsp lortab elixir I'd been forcing into my stomach every three hours to control pain and inflammation. My tummy threatened mutiny and pain, so I went most of the day without food or pills. Which lead to more pain. And hot flashes. You know, just to mix it up.

The swelling is at least finally starting to go down a bit. As it does, I'm learning how much feeling I have left in my face. Since my awesome surgeon used tiny chisels to cut through my lower jaw instead of a saw, my main nerve was not accidentally severed! But it was, predictably, damaged (that's inevitable for this sort of surgery). And because my upper jaw was detached from my skull, it's nerves were severed as well (although I'm told they'll slowly creep back over time). I have no feeling left from my nostrils to my lips to my chin, just enough of my mouth for me to make a mess of anything I try to eat or imbibe! I also drool almost constantly now, and I don't know how to make it stop. At least I no longer have to feel how uncomfortable all my braces and wires are. Poky bits be damned!

There is something that troubles me, though. The surgeon said it looks like the anesthesiologists accidentally shifted my septum when they were putting the respiration tubes down my nose. The cartilage in my nose is all off to one side and it's weird and painful and freaks me out. I was hoping it was just swelling, but I am not so sure now. I'll ask them about it on Thursday. Seriously, I don't want to have to get a nose job because of a "deviated septum." I have already done horrible icky surgery on my face! Do not want to do it again!!

I worked right up to the moment I put my bags in the car and we headed to Charlotte. Now that I'm back, I'm exhausted. I had to jettison some projects that I didn't think I could get back to in a timely manner, passing them on to other freelancers. I'm taking a break from freelancing for the foreseeable future at the urging of my husband. I've been hustling money for this surgery for three years, and I shouldn't jeopardize my recovery now. I just need to cool my jets for 2-3 months and work on knitting bones and regaining my strength. It's hard because I'm still mentally set to "work work work". I feel guilty when I'm not working. I asked the surgeon if I could go back to work in a week, and he laughed and told me I'd need at least three. Now I'm worried I'll need more, and I feel guilty about that, too.

I just want you to know...
I now have enough room in my mouth to fit my tongue. I do not have to leave my jaws half open with my tongue poking out all the time like I used, and this is even with the cumbersome and bulky splint in place. You have no freaking idea how happy that makes me. No more biting my tongue when someone startles me!

My heart is touched by the amount of concern and care I've been receiving, both on and offline. My coworkers and real-life acquaintances have been reaching out in ways that continue to surprise me. Lady friends have been coming over to keep me company. I never would have thought to ask for companionship, but I'm genuinely grateful to have it. I feel loved. Thank you.

Jaw surgery completed.

crowhen — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 17:00:49 GMT

Last thing I remembered was gently nodding off under anesthesia. Then, what felt like just moments later, I snapped awake with pain pain pain pain all over my face. I couldn't swallow because my throat was so sore, like strep throat sore, but nurses kept plying me with meds and drinks, telling me to cough, and I couldn't drink anything down, I just coughed it up, it hurt so much.

I had told Joe prior to surgery that if I looked okay, he was welcome to go to the hotel and get a good night's sleep for the long drive home the next morning. But that night, I remember nodding in and out of consciousness with him by my side, alert as a retriever at a hunting party, patiently wiping the blood from my nose.

They put me on an IV with some sugar water and morphine. Morphine really helps kill pain, but it's only good for an hour. The other narcotic called Lortab Elixir lasted longer, but had to be administered orally. It was nurse Laurie who came in in the middle of the night who finally manage to get me to take the mix orally as well as get some juice in me. She was bright an chipper woman, and I was very grateful to her for her patience.

Joe slept in the reclining chair in my room and kept a close eye on me for the rest of the stay. Drinking felt like drowning, and he was by my side whenever I started choking.

In the morning, everyone wanted to know if I wanted to stay another night or leave. The surgeons seemed to highly recommend that I go home to finish my healing, so I consented, and I'm glad I did. I feel much better here.

The surgeon sent me a gigantic calla lily as a get well gift and my orthodontist sent me a gift certificate to Walmart. These things still seem bizarre and otherworldly to me. Flowers? Walmart? How about an orchid and a six pack of Boost? Where am I going to put that gigantic lily? It's comical on some weird level!

My mom has been worried sick. I had Joe call her and fill her in on the deets. If I were capable of rational thought, I'd be able to say, "Yes, please come," or "No, I'm not up to it, there's nothing more you can do here" but I still have limited reasoning. All I can do is eat, drink, and sleep, sometimes read some comics or play on my DSi. I would love to see Mom and Kitty, but I'd probably sleep through most of the visit.

I'm going through a "go away and let me lick my wounds now" phase. The docs tell me today and tomorrow will be the worst as the swelling gets worse, but that around Saturday things should be getting better. In the mean time, my face is so swollen, I feel like you could pop me with a needle.

Okay, that's all I have left in me right now.

I've looked in the mirror. My jaw is straight. My teeth line up. So surreal. I can't believe it happened.

MoCCA Charity Sketchbook auction ends today. Bid while you can!

crowhen — Sun, 25 Jul 2010 15:14:00 GMT

It ends tonight! Proceeds from the sketchbook auction will help cover my jaw surgery on the 27th. It is a fan-freaking-tastic sketchbook. Check it out along with some scans of the artwork at eBay!

Specs

Pages are 8.5 by 5.5 inches in a lovely brown hardcover Canson drawing book with elastic closing strap.
Over 40 illustrations, the book is two-thirds full.
Most of the illustrations are of crows, teeth, and crows with teeth, and some of them are utterly random and beautiful!
Free shipping
On auction here at eBay.

The Artists
The sketchbook was passed around at Mocca 2008 before going on a magical journey to visit Barry Deutsch in Portland Oregon, where it was passed around among even more incredible artists. Special thanks to Leigh Dragoon for having the idea and bringing the book to MoCCA 2008 and Theresa Tschetter, Karen Luk and Barry Deutsch for passing it around and getting all this beautiful art. And of course, many thanks to all the artists who contributed:

Bryan O'Malley of Scott Pilgrim
Raina Telgemeier of Smile
Hope Larson of Chiggers and many, many more
Dave Roman of Yaytime
Andy Runton of Owly
John Peters of Gypsy
Cat Garza
Barry Deutsch of Hereville
Karen Luk
Leigh Dragoon of By the Wayside
Theresa Tschetter
Kelly Howlett
Stevie Wilson
Abby Denson of Tough Love
Martina Fugazotto a fellow gURL.com comicker
Lauren Weinstein of Girl Stories
Zack Giallongo
Stephanie Yue
Spike
S. Dave
Evan Palmer
Patricia Burgess
Andrew Farago
Pete Stathis of Evenfall
Phil Conigliaro
Anne Moloney
Patrick Farley
Steve Lieber
Natalie Nourigat
Dylan Meconis
Jenn Lee
Jake Richmond
Brendan Douglas Jones
Derek Kirk Kim
Bill Mudron
Joe Komenda
Rachel Nabors aka Rachel the Great

And more!

Looking back on all this artwork brings back good memories. I'm blushing a little bit to see how many people I admire have contributed to this book. There are some stunning pieces in here.

Auctioning the MOCCA 2008 Charity Sketchbook

crowhen — Sun, 18 Jul 2010 22:05:34 GMT

I'm finally getting my jaw surgery on the 27th, and I have a fantastic sketchbook filled with art by amazing illustrators and comic book artists that I'm supposed to auction to help raise funds to cover said surgery! Check it out along with some scans of the artwork at eBay!

(More about the the fund for my jaw surgery and how you can contribute here.)

Specs

Pages are 8.5 by 5.5 inches in a lovely brown hardcover Canson drawing book with elastic closing strap.
Over 40 illustrations, the book is two-thirds full.
Most of the illustrations are of crows, teeth, and crows with teeth, and some of them are utterly random and beautiful!
Free shipping
On auction here at eBay.

Bryan O'Malley of Scott Pilgrim
Raina Telgemeier of Smile
Hope Larson of Chiggers and many, many more
Dave Roman of Yaytime
Andy Runton of Owly
John Peters of Gypsy
Cat Garza
Barry Deutsch of Hereville
Karen Luk
Leigh Dragoon of By the Wayside
Theresa Tschetter
Kelly Howlett
Stevie Wilson
Abby Denson of Tough Love
Martina Fugazotto a fellow gURL.com comicker
Lauren Weinstein of Girl Stories
Zack Giallongo
Stephanie Yue
Spike
S. Dave
Evan Palmer
Patricia Burgess
Andrew Farago
Pete Stathis of Evenfall
Phil Conigliaro
Anne Moloney
Patrick Farley
Steve Lieber
Natalie Nourigat
Dylan Meconis
Jenn Lee
Jake Richmond
Brendan Douglas Jones
Derek Kirk Kim
Bill Mudron
Joe Komenda
Rachel Nabors aka Rachel the Great

And more!

Looking back on all this artwork brings back good memories. I'm blushing a little bit to see how many people I admire have contributed to this book. There are some stunning pieces in here.

(There is also a really weird cartoon about the sketchbook donning a cape and "flying" out a window to Portland, which I made.)

Jaw Surgery Finances
(UPDATED with hospital costs and more acurate math!)
So here's where we are financially right now:

So far, everyone has donated about $9,600 total to my surgery fund.
I used a lot of that to plus money I put into a FLEX account at work to cover $6k of braces, leaving $5k for surgery.
The surgery will cost $18k, but insurance has agreed to cover 70% of the procedure after a $1,000 deductible but they've also refused to cover a $2,000 portion of the surgery for being "cosmetic." (This means I will pay for at least $7500 worth of surgery)
The hospital will cost $1500

That means I will need at least $9,000 to pay for my portion of the surgery plus $1500 for the hospital, bringing the grand total to:

$10,500

We already have raised $5k and I have $2.5k that I stuffed into a FLEX account at work, so we have $3000 left to go.

(Also insurance is notorious for trying to scootch out of costs--I'm told they'll arbitrarily assign their own values to the costs of procedures, and I'll be covering the difference. So there are still some unknowns lurking in the closet.)

Soapbox Moment
It has been almost three years since I began this journey. I could not have made it this far without all of your help. I would not have been able to get the braces, and I would not have felt the hope I needed to make it through. Your support has meant everything to me.

I want to take a moment to stress the importance of fixing our nation's messed up healthcare policies. I had to quit making comics so I could get a real job with real health "benefits," although you've seen how difficult it is to extract any benefit from them. I'm not the only person who has had to give up and go "in-house" for medical reasons. The way things are now does not support the spirit of entrepreneurship that America prides itself for. It's like the only way you're able to "make your own way" is if you're a healthy young buck with no physical problems whatsoever. Otherwise, give up and work for someone will pay for your insurance, there's no way you'll be able to survive if you don't have it.

I don't know any freelance artists or independent designers in the US who aren't covered under their spouse's insurance policies. What of the young people who have no spouses? I was there once. It's a dangerous path to tread. It's not this way in the UK, though, as I realized when I began reading "How to be an Illustrator," an excellent British book about how to freelance as an illustrator. The only time insurance was mentioned was in a cursory note about how people in other countries like America would probably want to buy a plan and budget for it. And then they went on about how difficult it is to budget as an independent.

This is not sustainable. I had to give up my American Dream to fix an issue that I had no control over. Thank goodness it wasn't soemthing life threatening, because just look at how long this has taken. Three years. I don't want anybody else to have to do that. We're a first world nation. It shouldn't be this way, and it doesn't have to be.

I'll be back.
I'm coming back to comics after this. But I won't be able to do it full time. I will probably always need a cushy job to sustain myself. But people still want to read them, and I still want to make them. I hope you will be there.

Want to donate?

Do you read my comics? Please help me make the new site even better!

crowhen — Fri, 16 Jul 2010 03:29:21 GMT

I'm rebuilding my web site to host my own comics at RacheltheGreat.com. But I could use your feedback. So, if you read my comics and have five minutes, you'd be doing me a great favor by filling out this little survey.

Thank you in advance :) I really want to make the new site useful to you.

We have a date! And I'm starting a culinary hit list!

crowhen — Sun, 11 Jul 2010 21:39:01 GMT

I go in for pre-op on the 22nd. I have jaw surgery on the 27th.

I'm still in shock that it's actually happening. As the even draws near, it becomes more real, and I feel more scared.

On the bright side, the Dr. Tucker is working on my case, too. See, Dr. Tucker was the man whom blew away everyone I spoke with, patient to orthodontist. They would get a misty look in their eyes and say, "Oh, that Dr. Tucker. He does great work with cross bites. A real perfectionist." (And, it's my bite, I'd like nothing less than perfection, meep!) But the man had gone into retirement but a year or so ago, leaving his protege Dr. Farrel in his stead. I'm seeing Dr. Farrel. So you can imagine how happy I was when Dr. Farrel told me he'd be making a splint based on measurements he took while Dr. Tucker makes one using the digital scans from Colorado. Then they'll compare the two splints to resolve any discrepancies.

Doesn't that beat all?

From now until surgery, I am going to make a point to eat every damn thing that I won't be able to eat while recovering from having my upper and lower jaw dissected. I am swearing off all ice cream, yougurt, smoothies, mashed potatoes and soups to go on a rampage of pad thai, roast beef, fried vegetables and salads (I know I'm not supposed to have salads because the chewing makes my face hurt and gives me headaches, but if I leave off the croutons and take it slow, it works. I just need those greens! I crave 'em! But I'm still off white cheddar popcorn and granola, damn it.)

So if you only had two weeks left to eat things before being put on a liquid diet, what food, what flavors, would you have to experience while you still had the chance? I'm making a hit list.

Side note: Between my last post and this one, my hypothyroid medicine combined with the stress of all this was apparently to blame for a series of frightening heart palpitations and other cardiovascular heebie jeebies. But I have stabilized! I can now climb stairs without having to double over with pain in my chest at the top. Didn't realize how much I was making the hubbie worry.

My heart is released!

crowhen — Thu, 10 Jun 2010 00:16:47 GMT

Great news! This morning as I was wiggling out of bed, my mobile phone started ringing. It was a call from the insurance company. They're willing to cover all but the "cosmetic" bit of surgery!

However, my surgeon is "out of network," which means there's a $1k deductible and I have to foot 30% of the bill (plus whatever they won't pay--they will pay what they think a procedure is "worth" and then the surgeons turn to me with the rest of the bill). That's still a large chunk of change, but I should be able to swing it thanks to the remaining donations and my FLEX account without going into debt (although I will still need to dip into my own savings quite a bit--it beats what I was facing before--absolute financial annhilation!).

More details as I receive more information.

After all this long wait, it's finally going to happen. It almost seems too good to be true! I think it was good to go in person and answer those questions.

Although this is far from over, I would like to take this moment to express my gratitude to those who have stuck by me and supported me during this troubling process. You helped me get this far. Now it's finally going to happen!

How it went down.

crowhen — Wed, 02 Jun 2010 03:26:39 GMT

I had the best of intentions. I set out early to attend to some errands (like getting a post office box), giving myself plenty of time to stop at Barnes and Noble for a bite while reading the latest Bleach installment. With an hour left to make my 45 minute (30 minute according to the GPS) trip to Blue Cross Blue Shield headquarters in Durham, I set out in time to drive directly into a torrential downpour. In my review mirror, I saw the person behind me hydroplane, swerving to the left and then all the way to the right, colliding with several vehicles (not fatally from what I could see). I was very happy he had not been driving closer to me as he would have swerved into my side. But I took the situation as a reminder to slow down.

When I arrived at my destination, though, it was not the right building. GPS had failed me. So I went to the Green Pickle building, not too far off, which had BCBS's web team in it and was a "big glass building" like the woman on the phone had described on the same road. But it wasn't that building. It was a gigantic glass building even further down the road. This was only realized after about 20 minutes of telephone calls, traffic, and me trying not to freak out in an already tense situation as I become later and later for an appointment I had to schedule with my surgeon ahead of time. I was 25 minutes late. The meeting was supposed to take an hour. I was terrified my surgeon wouldn't be able to be present for all of it over the phone.

Panicky, I entered the building, got a badge, and was met with a sweet and gentle woman who escorted me to the waiting area outside the room. Then I met another gentle-seeming man who shook my hand and waited with us. I didn't realize that they would be in my hearing as well. I thought it would be just me, my case handler, the two external consultant surgeons via phone, and my surgeon. So I made idle chat about the grim downpour heading their way, my frustrations over being late and possibly inconveniencing my surgeon. Then the handler had all the surgeons on teleconference, and I was ushered into the meeting room.

I was all jangly nerves by then. I was late! I hadn't any time to look at my materials for the umpteenth time that day! I pulled out my folder with it's post-it laden pages of communications and letters from surgeons, doctors, and BCBS. I reviewed just the bits I had marked as they did a head count. I took notes about the people there. They outlined the process. And I realized that I hadn't put into words why I was there. The nice woman who had ushered me about the building read excerpts from my letters and my doctors' and surgeons. Hearing my own writing echoed back at me, I realized how sad and pathetic I sounded, and I wanted to cry, but I restrained myself.

When they asked me to state my grievance to the room, I didn't know what to add. It was all in the letters they had just read. My voice was cracking under my nerves and heart break. I said I would let my surgeon speak for me in more technical terms, but that I basically wanted to contest that while my malocclusion did not meet article C1B, it was a very great asymmetry for me, and would they please please reconsider my coverage. My words came out more like cracking radio waves than a bold statement, disjointed and fretful.

My surgeon, thankfully, carried it from there, answering the questions of the the two surgeons in terms only the three of them could understand. I took notes to keep my nerves down. No one in the room looked at me except for when I made my statement.

One of the surgeons asked if I'd tried widening my upper jaw with an appliance. I said I was using Damon braces with not much success. That satisfied him. He asked several questions. The other did not.

There was also some concern over whether a portion of the surgeries I'm slated for are considered cosmetic, I believe the ones relating to my upper jaw. I don't know the specific terms, so I can't be sure. It struck me as odd that they were going to vote first on whether the whole procedure was medically necessary, then whether a portion of it was cosmetic.

It came time for voting, and I was thanked for my presence. Outside the room, the man shook my hand and said I sounded very well informed. I wasn't sure if it was meant as a compliment, an observation, or a platitude. The nice woman led me downstairs after inquiring as to how I was doing. In the elevator I explained that I have been pursuing this for four years, and that my employer changed providers last year, that I needed to get out of these braces, to have some closure.

I had wanted to go in with guns blazing, with a real attitude behind my countenance and a sense of deep loathing for that establishment. But once inside, I realized that I could no more harbor ill will for my attendants than I could for enemy soldiers on a field. They are just doing what the person who feeds them wants them to do. I can like a dog and hate his master. But we both must go through the paces we have been given.

I will know in a week what they've decided. The nice lady asked if I would like a phone call, and I consented. Fingers crossed.

A bad sign: I was so distraught on the way home, that when the car ahead of me swerved and dodged around a piece of trash in the road, I thought he was drunk or driving poorly. I straightened my course and slowed down. Then I heard a sickening hollow crack-pop. I didn't like that sound. It was organic. Trash can't make noises like that. I know. Years of digging fence post holes in the mountains trained my ears to identify the composition of an object my the not it makes when you hit it. I saw the car turn around and head back the way I came. And then I knew what I had done when I had straightened my course: I'd run over a turtle. And that was a death-noise. He was going back to see that the animal he had tried to save had just been killed by e, a distraught driver in her silly smart car, thinking only of her own lot in life.

And I feel very bad about that.

The big showdown with Blue Cross Blue Shield

crowhen — Mon, 31 May 2010 15:31:03 GMT

Howdy. Long time no blog. That's my fault. Firstly, I didn't want to make blog posts saying, "Still waiting to hear back from insurance. Yep. Any day now." Secondly, I've been spending my weekends either working hard and late to earn cash for my jaw surgery or recovering from a lack of sleep and exhaustion. My physician tells me I have hypothyroidism, so now I take hormone replacements for that, which has helped with the exhaustion part. She insists I get more sleep, anyway, though.

This is an update about where I stand with jaw surgery. Yes, it's taking much longer than I thought to push this through. That's because my job switched insurance providers, so I had to start the approval process all over again with our new one, Blue Cross Blue Shield, at the beginning of the year. They have been just as stubborn as United Healthcare, but much more transparent and helpful, strangely enough. I get denial of coverage letters that actually sound like the author knows what orthognathic surgery is with clearly written instructions on what my options are to continue to badger the company.

They rejected my first claim, naturally. I sent them piles and piles of records, photos, and testimonies from my doctors, orthodontist, and dentists, all the way back to when I first fell on the stairs and knocked my teeth out. So I appealed a second time.

This time they sent a letter saying my appeal would be reviewed by two surgeons on the 2nd at BCBS headquarters in Durham and that I and/or my representatives were welcome to attend in person or via phone, but that our presence was neither necessary nor required. So I have taken tomorrow off work to appear in person and have scheduled my surgeon to attend via teleconference. My orthodontist, sadly, was booked, so he could not come. But this is better than allowing them to quietly pass judgment on my condition from behind closed doors.

Wish me luck, guys! I'll be preparing my materials tonight and tomorrow morning. I look forward to a stiff drink after the day is done.

Car meets fish: my "Black Orchid" smart car design. (Please vote!)

crowhen — Tue, 16 Feb 2010 06:38:42 GMT

I designed this for the smart car design competition. Please vote for us if you like it!

This design was named for a breed of siamese fighting fish called the "black orchid crown tail". I was also inspired by Mexican skull candy, orchid blossoms, deep sea fish, and Japanese manga artist Junko Mizuno's work. I get a lot of comments from guys about my smart car, so I wanted to make a design that both girls and boys could feel cool driving, something elegant but striking, that you could blast mariachi or the Orb in without clashing with the visual appeal.

I sketched this design on paper, then scanned it into my computer, where I recreated the swirling black details using vector graphics.

Super Sailor Senshi, Pink Crow! In the name of birds, I won't forgive you!

crowhen — Sun, 14 Feb 2010 16:51:34 GMT

Flickr Photo Download: Sailor Pink Crow

It's Sailor Moon Meme Month, and I found this doll generator: http://www.dolldivine.com/sailor.html

But if I had actually drawn this myself, I'd have a bob instead of Haruka hair and my butt-bow's tails would be much longer. And it would be transparent black. Yeah. And I'd have a wicked bird-theme bow instead of that sceptre.

Aside from that, this is what I would look like as a Sailor Senshi. I'd come from the planet Pink Crow and Deimos and Phobos would have my back.

I have a fishy bishy.

crowhen — Sat, 30 Jan 2010 17:58:20 GMT

Since the death of my beloved budgie, Tenno, I have decided to buy a betta. The ensuing Quest for Betta has done much to take my mind off the sadness of losing my bird. I read all about them and bought a suitable aquarium (so inexpensive compared to a bird cage).

I couldn't decide whether to buy a Petco fish or order a fancy Black Orchid Crown Tail from Thailand ($15 for a pure bred fish sounds like a good deal to me, but the shipping does run about $50--so price was a drawback). Scroll down for video of the guy I wanted: http://www.aquabid.com/cgi-bin/auction/auction.cgi?fwbettasct&1264926305

But since I have no intention of breeding (house too small, want to just have a pretty pet, 100 betta fry is way too much committment/water changing for me, yadda, yadda, yadda), I decided to start with a Petco betta (because I like their betta setup more than most other stores, and they had fancier/more exotic bettas than the one or two at the mom and pop fish store). This way, if I mess up and he dies, I won't be crying that I murdered a pure bred black orchid that cost me $50 to ship from Thailand. I still want a black orchid, though! Just after I'm sure I can keep a betta happy. Also, $50, ouch. Hope I can find an American breeder when the day comes.

So last night in the snow, I ran over to Petco and bought a delta tail with fins that look more like fabric than rays. Very frilly, very ostentatious. He has an iridescent steel-blue body and butterfly (I think that's what it is called) fin colors, being yellow fins with blue tips. He really is a looker. There were many sweeties to choose from, and I'd been looking at them all week, but he was the one who went absolutely crazy when I picked up his cup. I liked his vigor!

He is living in one of these, Tetra Water Wonders: http://www.amazon.com/Tetra-Water-Wonders-Gallon-Aquarium/dp/B00130JFPC

I think the filter is too strong. He hides under his java moss-covered coconut shell whenever I turn it on, and he seems to have trouble with both the suction and the current it produces. Can anyone recommend a better way to filter the water in this set up without overpowering the little guy? He is so very delicate with his ginormous, flimsy fins.

I haven't thought of what to name him yet. But it sure is nice having a little guy next to my desk again. My room feels less empty and lonely.