Well, as it turns out, I was the problem – and this revelation didn’t come to me until about a week after I had stopped the exposure experiments. Let me explain:

Ive always had a problem walking through malls – All those people just freaked me out. I usually stared at the ground and allowed them to think I was some kind of loser – at least this is what I had convinced myself of. Never looking up and around, I allowed my own imagination to create my reality. Where did I get the info? Why, my warped belief system, that’s where!

On the day we were walking through the mall, my brother asked if everything was alright. I told him it was, but I’m sure my outward image suggested otherwise. We never talked about social anxiety because I didn’t want to appear weak. I know he always suspected there was something wrong with me because of how quiet I became in public. He may have assumed it was depression or one of the better known mental afflictions, because I doubt if social anxiety is well known among non-sufferers.

I didn’t want him to see me like that, so with all the determination I had, I forced myself to look up. Initially, I didn’t look directly at people, just any available object that was at eye level. I felt sick with anxiety and my head wanted to drop back down to its comfort zone, but I wouldn’t allow it. I was going to walk through the mall with my brother like normal people do.

It was so exhausting keeping this up, but my brother seemed to notice and I thought I detected a change in him, he seemed less worried and seemed to be in a better mood. I, on the other hand, felt like passing out.

Ever since going back to this unhealthy routine, I’ve been wanting to quit drinking, and I was able to abstain for a few weeks before being tempted to go out again, and then its the same old story. Well, I was going out and having fun and I wasn’t doing anything illegal or dangerous, so besides harming my overall health, especially the obvious brain damage from all the heavy drinking on weekends, I wasn’t getting myself in trouble with the law.

Well, just about two weeks ago, I ended up getting in a fight with some random guy at my friend’s house in a blacked out, drunken stupor and apparently I drove home in that state after the fight because I decided that there is no way I’m staying over at his house after what has happened. When I woke up the next morning, I discovered that one of my tires on the car was missing, and I had no recollection whatsoever what happened to the tire.

Let me just say that this was the last straw that made me give a word to one of my good friends that I’m not going to drink a drop of alcohol ever again. So I will be starting a chain of new healthy habits and finally living a lifestyle that I’ve always wanted. I will also resume my work on social anxiety and will be blogging here on this site regularly. I have started five new blogs on different topics to help improve my writing skills and to also connect with other people that can relate. One of these blogs is called – ashotatbetterlife.com, which will be my personal development and self discovery journal.

So….I’m back and I will be posting new content about social anxiety because I have a lot of stories and ideas piled up, so expect fresh posts very soon

It is important to first note that it is difficult to ascertain with certainty whether either condition directly causes the other. For instance, while there are many patients with Social Anxiety Disorder who later develop Depression, that is not true in all cases. Still, the evidence indicates that patients with social anxiety are perhaps as much as six times more likely to develop depression than individuals with no anxiety. This link between social anxiety and depression is a primary motivating factor for attempts at early detection and treatment of Social Anxiety Treatment, as effective early treatment seems to lessen the chance of depression later in life.

The effects of co-morbid social anxiety and depression are even more profound with respect to the potential for substance abuse, suicidal ideation, and life coping skills. Individuals who suffer from both social anxiety and depression have a much higher likelihood of becoming addicted to alcohol and drugs. They also prove to engage in thoughts of suicide with greater frequency than people who suffer from just one of the disorders, and make more actual attempts on their own lives. In addition, their overall effectiveness in coping with the challenges of the workplace, as well as other necessary areas of life, is greatly diminished by the simultaneous presence of both conditions.

Worse yet, the evidence would seem to indicate that patients suffering from both social anxiety and depression demonstrate a much poorer response to conventional treatment regimens, requiring much more trial and error to find the right treatment plan. Still, all is not gloom and doom with this co-morbidity, as many patients with social anxiety only receive a diagnosis after seeking medical attention for depression. Many without depressive side effects suffer in silence for years without a diagnosis.

It is easy to see how effective this technique can be as a means of a social anxiety disorder treatment. Repeated exposure to the environments that stimulate their negative reactions helps patients understand that nothing terrible can happen, even in the worst case scenario outcome of a particular social situation. So over time they can develop a sense of comfort in those situations. Repeatedly facing the negative responses that these situations trigger helps patients to learn to recognize their own reactions and thus work toward preventing them. Exposure and response prevention therapy can be extremely difficult for many patients, particularly at the onset of their treatment. However, because it forces individuals to directly address the root causes of their anxiety, it is one of the most commonly used treatments for social anxiety.

Dealing with social anxiety is never easy, and finding the right social anxiety disorder treatment regimen can be a difficult proposition in the best of circumstances. For patients with the courage to attempt it, exposure and response prevention therapy can be an extremely effective method for assisting patients in overcoming their fears. This element of the treatment process is vital for a full recovery. While medications, yoga, and breathing techniques can assist patients in suppressing the physical manifestations of social anxiety, treatment like exposure and response prevention therapy is necessary to “reprogram” the way their brain to think differently in specific social situations.

In addition to my bad habits I was also unable to deal with some of my negative feelings such as anger, fear and anxiety in a skillful way and I was aimlessly going through life, not really knowing who I was and what I wanted from life. Some of my habits like drinking and smoking also turned into addiction. In my case, getting drunk over weekends was the worst habit of them all. Since I turned 21 I felt the need to go out on weekends and get drunk – it was my way of relaxing, having fun and forgetting about reality. I thought this is how everyone around my age had fun – party and drink till you pass out, what else is there to do? Well, it may be fine for people who have high self confidence, who really know themselves and can handle the next day hang over, but this was certainly not the case for me. I had no self-esteem, I couldn’t even talk to girls at the club while drunk and would often embarrass myself while making attempts at talking to people in a blacked out state! Thinking about it now, it is very easy to see that I had an emotional problem and I was trying to cover it up by getting drunk on weekends, but it wasn’t so obvious at the time.

Okay…. waking up the next morning after partying like this was hell, I felt very depressed, my anxiety was over the roof, I felt guilty and sometimes suicidal. I would also feel more anxious throughout the whole following week and I would procrastinate and skip exercise as a result. While getting drunk on weekends, I would also smoke a lot, I had to have a cig after drinking, even though I -quit smoking” on a daily basis a long time ago. In addition to smoking, and skipping exercise I would get angry at myself and often eat a lot of fat, unhealthy food and end up staying at home sleeping on the couch, watching TV and aimlessly browsing the Internet. So alcohol was spawning all of these other unhealthy habits in my case, as I was getting physically unhealthy, overweight (I was 195 at 5’6), more depressed and my social anxiety intensified more every day. Despite all those negative feelings, including social anxiety, I didn’t realize alcohol and my other unhealthy habits were causing it, or at least intensifying it and I just kept doing it – for a long time.

Until one day on November 23, 2008 when I woke up after my usual night of hard drinking and smoking — feeling depressed, barely getting out of bed, hating life and having intense anxiety. I hated myself and I was disgusted with the way I was feeling, I just wanted to die.

So after years of dealing with my dilemma of weather I should quit drinking or not, I finally concluded that drinking is just not for me and I made the decision to quit drinking for good. Since I quit drinking my life had become a lot healthier, I exercise almost every day, I eat healthier, I work on my spirituality every day, I have returned to college, I’m more productive and my social anxiety has diminished.

If you don’t feel like getting any of the self help guides on overcoming social anxiety, because you don’t believe social anxiety can be overcome, at least do yourself a favor and look at your life to see if you any bad habits that are holding you back and making you feel more anxious, you may not completely eliminate your social anxiety but your mind will surely thank you for it.

Here is a list of my new healthy habits:

• Healthy diet – fruits and vegetables, smaller meals throughout the day
• Healthy sleeping schedule – waking up early, going to sleep early
• Setting the goals and getting organized
• Good time management techniques, schedules
• Get as much exercise as possible every day
• Herbal supplements – may help to improve/alleviate mood and overall health
• Meditation and spirituality to learn how to deal with your negative emotions and a positive way (this one is really good if you’re trying to overcome an addiction), learn to love yourself first before you trying loving people around you. I personally recommend – Buddhist Psychology.
• Figuring out what I really want from life. Understanding and learning about myself every day, taking personality tests, asking friends, Maslow’s pyramid of human needs, goals settings workbook etc….
• Positive thinking

Anyone have anything else to add to this list?

For anyone suffering with social anxiety disorder, the will to fight the problem is absolutely essential. There are numerous ways to fight back against this psychological disorder. While drugs may be part of your doctor’s plan to help you defeat social anxiety disorder, much of what can to done to reduce the effects of the syndrome in your life is done through therapy to help you recognize what is going on in your mind and fight it at the only place it can be fought – in your mind.

The very first and most important concept that anyone who is going to beat social anxiety disorder must both understand and believe 100% is that you are not a victim, you are not helpless and you can stop social anxiety disorder in its tracks, Once you get your arms around the concept that you can stop this horrible problem from hindering your life, then you must have the courage to say, you WILL fight it at the only point that it can be fought, when it rears its ugly head to ruin an event, an opportunity or an enjoyable social gathering with loved ones.

After all, you don’t have panic attacks or episode of severe social anxiety when you are having a bubble bath playing with your rubber ducky. Everything is just fine then. You not only know precisely when social anxiety disorder is going to effect you, you know what the early symptoms of the onslaught of the problem feels like. It is when you sense the rising anxiety and you can tell that you are experiencing the opening assault of social anxiety disorder that the time to fight back is at its best.

Like most diseases, if you can help yourself before the disorder disables you, you can derail the effects and make yourself able to cope with a social situation despite your anxiety. The most potent weapon against the onset of social anxiety disorder is self talk. Through self talk, you become both the patient and the doctor in your head and the doctor side of you will not let this ugly disorder ruin another event and make you suffer again.

Self talk means that just as soon as the earliest sensations of social anxiety begin to show up in your mind or body, you take action to deny the disorder power over you and to show it the door. There are several key principles that you should speak to yourself to reinforce what you know to be the truth about the social situation and about your disorder.

First of all, banish helplessness because you are NOT helpless and you do not have to suffer with this disorder. Empower yourself and give yourself permission to not be a victim and to win against the anxiety that wants to paralyze you. Next go to your vault of common sense about the social situation that you have discussed with your doctor or in group therapy. For one thing, everybody suffers with social anxiety to some degree. If everybody can face their anxiety, so can you.

Next begin to review the situation you are about to face and recognize that these people are not judging you and that even if you make a mistake, they will still like you. To assist your self talk therapy, keep a 3×5 card with these key points and other important ways to fight off your social anxiety written down.

By reviewing those notes and using self affirming self talk, you will see the anxiety begin to subside. You might have to glance at the card a few times during the event. But what a victory if you can fight back anxiety and function in a social situation. Not only will you not be robbed of the enjoyment of social times, you will have your first of many wins against social anxiety disorder.

But the one cause of social anxiety disorder comes from lifestyle And this is the area that you as the person who is suffering with the disease can take action yourself to minimize or eliminate the symptoms of social anxiety disorder or even potentially eliminated it from your life entirely. What research has discovered is that in many cases, exaggerated social anxiety may come from false signals coming from what is called the “fight or flee” instinct that is in all of us.

“Fight or flee” is that surge of energy you feel when you are in danger. All living things have an instinct when they are confronted with danger to either strike out at the danger to destroy it or to turn tail and run with the age old self encouragement of “feet don’t fail me now.” That is the flee part of fight or flee. Seriously though, when your mind perceives danger, adrenaline kicks in and you instinctively try to assess which of those two options to utilize. It is an instinctive reaction to danger that you see in animals when they become alarmed. So “fight or flee” is not a bad thing because it is necessary for survival.

When we are living a reasonable and healthy lifestyle, this instinct works correctly in the proper contexts when it is supposed to get you out of trouble. But for many of us, our lifestyle is not always healthy. Many of us get too little sleep, work too many hours and do not eat or exercise the way we know we should. The results of abusing ourselves, even for a noble cause like work, are more severe than just grumpiness and putting on a few pounds. Without the right food, rest and a chance to get away from stress, the fight or flee instinct begins to deliver false readings from normal situations that are not the least bit life threatening.

When the instinct that we have for our survival begins to sense danger in everyday situations, that will result in extreme reactions such as social anxiety that is far more severe than normal shyness or mild nervousness at a new social situation. Because our survival instincts become exaggerated under stress and without adequate healthy diet, exercise and rest, it causes a panic reaction to social stress that is too severe. Anxiety results which can lead to all of the harsh and debilitating symptoms that we recognize as social anxiety disorder.

There is an old phrase that goes, “Living well is the best revenge”. There may be no more appropriate use of that concept than in fighting back against social anxiety disorder. By putting some extra emphasis on better living habits, you are literally taking away the cause of your social anxiety. Get enough sleep. Eat better. Spend more time with family and get some exercise. You know what should be done.

The excuse that you cannot do those things because of work stresses pales when you consider that social anxiety disorder can shut you down so severely that it can threaten work, family and your social life completely. In that way, taking care of yourself is the a step that is all about taking care of your job and your family. By simply living a healthy life, you eliminate the cause of social anxiety disorder entirely. In doing so, you will have made a tremendous step toward living a better and more healthier life. Everybody in your life benefits from that.

Unfortunately, because each person’s reaction to different medications is different, your doctor may want to take several “stabs” at finding the right drug for you. Meanwhile, you have to endure effects of these drugs that you did not expect. Becoming a guinea pig for chemical experimentation is often unacceptable to many people even if there is a possibility that the drugs could reduce or eliminate the horrifying panic attacks that their social anxiety disorder can cause. Just exchanging one form of hell for another is not always the answer.

Work with your doctor to determine if going through many iterations of drug therapy is tolerable by you compared to waiting for non chemical therapy to bring about a longer term effect. You may be able to achieve a similar temporary relief from the problems of social anxiety disorder through mental disciplines such as meditation or hypnosis. The value of going this route is that these solutions to your social phobias do not introduce drugs to your body and if they don’t work, there are generally no ugly side effects.

While “home remedies” like meditation are valuable and can give you some coping mechanisms, social anxiety disorder is a genuine medical problem and the final solution may lie in psychotherapy or psychology. Psychotherapy is a powerful solution because a skilled psychiatrist will be able to take the sufferer of a social phobia step by step into the root causes of the problem. Often the roots of social anxiety disorders lie in some long forgotten childhood trauma that can only be discovered and confronted with the help of a highly skilled medical professional. While this kind of therapy is often lengthy and expensive, it can lead to a final solution to the problem which makes it a worthwhile investment.

Many times your psychologists or psychiatrist may also have you undergo cognitive behavioral therapy along with the root cause diagnosis sessions that are being used to dig down and find out what is going on with your psychological condition. The rate of success that has been documented shows that cognitive behavioral therapy has the greatest potential of finally bringing a “cure” to your social anxiety disorder once and for all.

The process of cognitive behavioral therapy slowly guides the patient to “face their fears” by exposing you to simulated social situations in a controlled environment over time. These kinds of psychological solutions are sometimes done in group settings which give you a safe context to go through a system of slowly relearning to deal with social situations while replacing fears with successful outings that build your confidence and eliminate the causes of anxiety. In many cases, a combination of all of these solutions is the best prescription for someone suffering with this frightening illness. But for the person suffering with social anxiety disorder, generally any solution that promises liberation from the slavery of their anxiety is wroth whatever it takes to get that freedom.

By recognizing that you have a genuine disorder, you take the first step of acknowledging that your problem is not your fault. Medical science has acknowledged that social anxiety disorder is a genuine psychological illness. You don’t blame yourself or undergo guilt if you get the flu or break your big toe. So there is no reason to beat yourself up or experience any blame because you are suffering with a medically recognized disorder. It just means you need and deserve to find help.

The second and very important thing to recognize when social anxiety disorder disrupts your life so severely is that there are people that can help you and that these people WANT to help you. Social anxiety disorder lies to its victims and makes them feel isolated and unworthy of friendship or help. Don’t let this insidious disease deceive you. There are people in your life that love you and want you to see this disease treated and even cured. And yes, you CAN be cured of social anxiety disorder.

Just by recognizing that you are experiencing social anxiety that is far more severe than what everybody else goes through is a clue that you have a medical problem that can be treated medically. In fact, social anxiety disorder is the second most common psychological disease in the country. That means that highly trained and qualified doctors know what to do to help you. Sadly, many people who suffer with social anxiety problems don’t seek out help from doctors because to do so is a social connection and the very anxiety that doctors want to help you with can disable you from seeking that help. Its a tragic dilemma.

So tap into the most powerful social force you have at your disposal. That is your close circle of loved ones, family and friends. Start by being willing to talk about what you are going through. There is no shame in being sick. Don’t give in to the instinct to hide your anxieties and wish they would just go away. To beat this disorder, it must be confronted. And if you are not capable of contacting a psychologist or seeking that help, allow the ones that love you most to get that help for you.

Along with medical help and the value of loved ones who are your first line of defense against this ugly problem, the internet can be a lifeline for you in helping you battle social anxiety disorder. Just as you found this article, there are mountains of information out there in cyberspace to help you understand the disorder you are suffering with and arm you with plenty of advice and information so you can fight back and win against social anxiety disorder.

Take advantage of every resource you have to reduce the debilitating impacts of this paralyzing disorder. Anything you can do to reach out to people, doctors and internet groups that can help you is a step in the right direction. Once you are on the road to recovery, you will be so glad you say “NO” to social anxiety disorder and the damage it can do to your life.

Ive had social anxiety for ten years, since I came to United States from Russia. The cause of my social anxiety was the new language – I was unable to express myself the way I would in my native language so I became isolated from the rest of people and never really became adapted to the new environment. To this very day, I still think there is something terribly wrong with the way I speak, despite a lot of people telling me that my voice sounds just fine. My social anxiety has diminished a lot since I started a healthier life about two and a half months ago and Im on my way to recovery. It will be a pleasure sharing and blogging about my social anxiety with the rest of the world and hopefully I will be able to give hope and inspire anyone who thinks they cant overcome social anxiety.

I have also started video blogging about my social anxiety on youtube.com and you can check out my videos at http://www.youtube.com/user/VladimirRussianDude