Wife: If I dismiss the cook and make the food myself for a month, what will you pay me?Husband: I wont have to pay you, you will get my entire insurance amount.

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Mere Ghar K Samne Se Bhagi Ek GHODI
Wah Wah
Mere Ghar K Samne Se Bhagi Ek GHODI
Wah Wah
Fir Bhage Tum Aur

“RAB NE BANA DI JODI”.

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Rango Ke Tyohar Me Sabhi Rango Ki Ho Bharmar, Dher Saari Khushiyo Se Bhara Ho Aapka Sansar, Yahi Dua hai Bhagwan Se Hamari Har bar, Holi Mubarak!

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Pyar k rang se bharo pichkari, Sneh k rang se rang do dunia sari,
ye rang na jane na koi baat na boli, apko advance me mubarak ho Happy Holi

Pichkari ki dhar, rango ki bauchar, apno ka pyar, yahi hai HOLI ka tyohar. Wishing you and your family a very happy and colourful HOLI.

• Lal, gulabi, neela, pila hathon me liya samet,
  Holi ke din rangenge sajni, kar ke meethi bhent.
• Rangon se bhi rangeen zindagi hai humari, rangeeli rahe yeh bandagi hai humari,
  kabhi na bigde ye pyar ki rangoli, aye mere yaar aisi HAPPY HOLI.

• Chadenge jab pyare rang, ek meri dosti ka rang bhi chadhana.
  Lagne lagenge tumhe suhane sare rang,
  Aur meri dosti ka rang chamkega hurdum tumhare sang.
  Bolo sarararara….
  Wish you a very mastiful and colourful Happy Holi
• Aapne dil ka haal batana chod diya, humne bhi gehrai mein jaana chod diya. Holi se pehle hi aapne nahana chod diya?

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Rang udaye pichkari,
rang jaye duniya sari,
holi ke rang aapke jivanko rang de,
ye shubhkamna hai sada hamari…

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I think my dad is Dracula.
I know that sounds insane,
but listen for a moment and
allow me to explain.

My mom heard my suspicion
and she said, “You’re not too swift.
Your father’s not a vampire.
He just works the graveyard shift.”

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Wife: Aapko meri khoobsurati zayada achi lagti hay ya aqalmandi..?
Husband: Mujhey to tumhari ye mazaaq ki aadat bohot achi Lagti Hay…

Husband: Malang baba, meri biwi bohot pareshan karti hai, Koi hal batao.
Malang: Beta, hal hota to mein malang kiu banta..?

Ek sahab dosray sahab se: Bhai ye khushiyan kiya hoti hen?
Dosray sahab: Pata nahi bhai, meri to kum umar me hi shadi ho gaii thi.

Wife: Main bazar ja rahi hoon, mujhe 50 Rupay ki zaroorrat hai!
Husband (ghusay se): Tumhen Rupay se ziada aqal ki zaroorat hai!
Wife: Aapse wohi cheez mangi hai, jo aap k pass mojood hai!

Wife aur Husband Mazaar se Nikle to aik Faqeer ne kaha: Shehzadi 5 rupey de de, Andha hoon.
Husband: De do, Tumhe Shehzadi kaha hai to zaroor andha ho ga.

An old man married a young Girl,
Someone asks the GiRL: Aap ne in mein Shadi ke liye kiya daikha?
Girl: Aik to inki INCOME or dosray in ke Din kam.

They say that when a man holds a woman’s hand before marriage, it is love; After marriage: It is self-defense

Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?
Husband: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.
Wife: You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Husband: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, “What other problem can there be greater than this one?

How a woman calls her husband in first 6 years:
Yr 1. Janu
Yr 2. O G.
Yr 3. Aji, sunte ho?
Yr 4. Arey, O Bunty k pappa
And then…
Yr 5. Kahan mar gaye?
Yr 6. Tum aate ho k main aaon?

Husband 2 Wife : Did u Have any boyfriend before marriage ??
Wife remains silent
Husband : Mai is Khamoshi ko kya samjhu ??
Wife : Abbe gin ne to De

Thappar Maarnay par NaraZ Wife se Husband bola:
Aadmi usi ko maarta hai jis se Pyaar krta hai.
Wife ne Husband ko 2 thappar maaray aur
Boli Aap kya samajhtay hain main Aapse Pyaar nahi kerti

Wife: yesterday-night I saw a dream
That u were sending me Jewelry and clothes!
Husband: yeah, I saw your dad paying the bill !!!

Whats the diff between Dava Daru?
Dava is like girlfriend, that comes with expiry date
and Daru is like wife, Jitni purani hogi utna sir chad ke bolegi.

Husband: You will never succeed in making that dog obey u!
Wife: Non-sense its only a matter of patience, I had a lot of trouble with u at first.

Husband aur Wife Hotel me gaye tabhi 1 Lady ne Hello kiya,
Wife nay pocha, Koun Thi Wo?
Husband:-Tum dimagh kharab mat karo, main pehle hi pareshan hun k woh bhi Yehi pochay gi.

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WHO IS MORE STUPID

Banta: My boss is even more stupid.. He sent me to check if he is home..he
has a cell phone .he could have called home and check if he is there..??

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India Marriage Joke
1. Women are unpredictable. Before marriage, she expects a man, after marriage she suspects him, and after death she respects him.

2.There was this guy who told his woman that he loved her so much that he would go thru hell for her. They got married – and now he is going thru hell.

3.A man inserted an ‘ad’ in the classifieds : ” Wife wanted”. Next day, he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing “You can have mine.”

4. When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.

5. It’s easy to tell if a man is married or not. Just watch him drive a car with a woman sitting beside him. If both his hands are on the wheel, you can be sure he is married.

6. A man received a letter from some kidnappers. The letter said, “If you don’t promise to send us $100,000, we promise you we will kidnap your wife.” The poor man wrote back, ” I am afraid I can’t keep my promise but I hope you will keep yours.”

7. “What’s the matter, you look depressed.” “I’m having trouble with my wife.” “What happened?” “She said she wasn’t going to speak to me for 30 days.” But that ought to make you happy.” “It did, but today is the last day.”

8.”Darling,” whispered a frail little husband from his chair. ” I’m very sick, would you please call me a vet?”. “A vet? Why do you want a vet and not a medical doctor?” The husband replied. Because I work like a horse,live like a dog, and have to sleep with a silly cow.”

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